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40 Increasing Your Capacity for Growth with Claire Ollila · The Rave Social Podcast

0:12
SPEAKER_01: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Rave Social Podcast.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Jaden, and today we have a very special guest, Claire.
0:21
SPEAKER_01: Claire is a breathwork facilitator.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm currently in her round two of her open virtual breathwork course, and it's incredible.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: I followed Claire for so long, and now we're finally able to like work together in a container, and I'm obsessed.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, we have to have Claire on the podcast.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: She has so much good things to tell us about business and your life and just growing some capacity for growth.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: So we're excited to hear from her.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: And Claire, why don't you tell us just a little bit about what you do?
0:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to be here.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, those people where you just like stalk each other on Instagram for a couple months and then decide you need to be friends.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of what happened.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: So full circle getting to be on the pod now.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: And a little bit about what I do.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: I am a breathwork facilitator slash somatic mentor.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: And I primarily work with high-performing women who are in big transition seasons in their life.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: So that might look like being in a season of rapidly scaling their business or starting to think about becoming a mother or maybe making a really big move and working with the existing stress responses that have been conditioned to come online during those times and help you work with somatic techniques and breath work journeys in order to repattern those and just experience more ease and aliveness through that process.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you are amazing.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've obviously followed you for a while now and just watching how you operate and just you just have a magnetic personality.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: Like I was like, Claire is so cool.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: And now being in a container with you is so amazing.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just saying this to tell everyone who's listening like Claire has the wisdom of like a literal 95-year-old.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: She's just so wise about life.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: It's insane.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: And she's already helped me so much in just two weeks.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: So I'm really excited to have her.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: And we thought we would talk about um increasing your capacity for growth.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: So maybe that's in your business, maybe that's in your life, maybe that's just in normal operations.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, but Claire, why don't you tell us kind of what that means to you and we can go from there?
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: So a lot of people, when they think about increasing capacity, the first thing that they go to is increasing capacity for stress and for busy schedules and for talking to more clients and teammates and just really getting busier.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: And yes, that's part of it.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: And that's what makes practices like cold plunging, or you know, when people they start the new year and they go on 75 hard.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: Like those practices can help you increase your capacity for the busyness and the stress.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: But I really like to look at increasing capacity to also be increasing capacity for the joy and the bliss and the ease.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: Because so often, women who grow up to be really successful and to be those go-getters, are the ones who growing up, they had to carry it all.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe their parents weren't really strong role models, or maybe they had siblings who needed a lot of attention.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: And so these women, like you in certain ways and me in certain ways, and probably a lot of people listening, had to grow up to learn how to hold it all.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: So it's really important as you become an adult to also recondition how you get to experience more peace and joy and fulfillment in who you are outside of your achievements or your success as well.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love how you've reframed that.
4:18
SPEAKER_01: And I think you're a hundred percent right.
4:20
SPEAKER_01: There's just so much of that.
4:22
SPEAKER_01: Like people call it like hustle culture, and there's all these different terms, and I think people are like, hustle culture's out, you know, my feminine is in, whatever.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: But in reality, like it's so yeah, soft girl era, but like so it's actually so much deeper than that and way more layered than just like I'm working, like I want to work a four-hour work day, like it's it's more complicated that in some ways, and then also it's so much more simple than that in other ways.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, how do you feel like breath work and like somatics have helped high achievers, you know, do this in their lives?
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so breath work and somatics, and I want to dial it back first because for a lot of people, the first step is going to therapy and helping their mental health in that way, you know, talking things through, maybe coming to certain realizations about their childhood and why they are the way they are, or maybe they get really into astrology and human design, and those can be fun.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: And I love all of those things as well.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: And they miss the mark on the body-based work.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: So you can think about therapy as like a top-down approach where you're really in your cognitive thinking mind, and tools like breathwork and somatics are more of a body-based approach, and the best way is to work with both of them at the same time and really blend the best of both worlds.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: But what breath work and somatics allow you to do is access what's called your limbic brain.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: And your limbic brain is the part of your mind that processes memories and emotions outside of a sense of linear time.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: So the beauty of this is you don't necessarily have to know exactly why something might be the way it is, or you don't have to spend hours talking in circles about that one defining moment when you were younger.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: You can just sort of have a general awareness and then go into working with your body and working with your subconscious mind in order to essentially repattern and become the person that you want to be.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:46
SPEAKER_01: So would you say people kind of get stuck?
6:50
SPEAKER_01: Maybe if they're in talk therapy or maybe they're just dabbling in human design or something like that.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: Would you say they kind of get stuck and hung up on these different things?
7:00
SPEAKER_01: Like maybe it's like, oh, I'm a Capricorn, or maybe it's like, oh, this one childhood trauma, and they kind of like hang on to that when they could let that go and feel more expansion, or what are your thoughts on that?
7:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what I see a lot is people using these realizations, whether it's through therapy or through something like astrology or human design, as basically an excuse to not evolve.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: So it can be like, and I'm not the kind of person to be super rigid about this.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Like I love a good Taurus joke.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm a Taurus, I can be stubborn, I do love to chill and like do my thing.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: And I also am very aware that my purpose on this earth is not to just allow that box to define me in the same way that growing up with parents who were a certain way.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not my purpose on this earth to let that path define me.
8:01
SPEAKER_00: It's my purpose on this earth to evolve out of that box and to experience growth and to experience bumping up against my edges and to experience frustration and those like cellular level what the fuck moments.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is going on?
8:18
SPEAKER_00: And ultimately to love myself through those and to be in a state of creation with life.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: So I see a lot of people, back to your question, use those realizations of oh, I am this way as essentially an excuse to not evolve.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: And that's the part, yeah, that's like just the beginning.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: It's oh, you got this awareness.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: Now what do you want to do with it?
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Who do you want to be?
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh my gosh, I love that so much because it's so true.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: Like, and I I agree with you.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: Like, I I like all the things, like I like human design, I like astrology, I like all these things.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: And through all of those, I have come to different realizations.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, that is how I respond, or how I've like conditioned myself to respond, or whatever.
9:12
SPEAKER_01: And it's been interesting to kind of break down those molds and say, like, is this something that I want to keep?
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Do I not want to keep it?
9:19
SPEAKER_01: How can I use it as a tool?
9:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, so I have a question for you, kind of going back to the like increasing your capacity.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: I feel like people listening to this episode maybe this is maybe this could be their first time hearing about breath work or the somatics, like the kind of body side of things.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: And they may even be in the place of like, I don't know how to experience joy or peace or any of these things.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what I want, but I don't even know how because I can't even control like my business or my day-to-day life.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Where would you tell them to start?
9:57
SPEAKER_01: Do you jump right into trying to expand into creation, or do you need to start getting um some of those more foundational things sorted so that you can feel those bigger emotions?
10:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a lot of people try to jump when they realize they're in a cycle of burnout, or when they realize they're in a cycle of essentially sacrificing their needs for their business or for their clients, because when you are successful, it can be exciting, right?
10:30
SPEAKER_00: And it's this dopamine of, oh, there's growth.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, look at all my clients.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm actually doing the thing I always wanted to do, and this is so exciting.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: And then it can start to feel like this snowball that you're trying to keep up with.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: And if you're not careful, then what can happen is you can stay in that cycle of what a lot of people call people pleasing, but you don't always people please toward people, you can people please towards your business as well.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: So a lot of people can end up actually building up a lot of resentment for this thing that maybe was their dream, you know, a year, even just a year or two ago to have that level of success and that amount of clients and that amount of work.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, you might find yourself complaining about the things that just a year or even maybe six months ago, you were dreaming and begging life for.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: So a lot of people try to jump right into oh, maybe I just need to be in my feminine, maybe I'm in my masculine too much, or maybe it's oh, I need to create boundaries.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: But the thing with that is if you are not solid within your internal landscape, meaning if you are disconnected to the sensations and the emotions that are actually going on within you, then to assert a boundary can actually come out in a really distorted way.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: So this is where you might find yourself being passive aggressive with your partner, or you might find yourself like really angry at random drivers on the road, and then couldn't be me.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: And then it's like, where the fuck did that come from?
12:25
SPEAKER_00: So what's really important when you recognize that, oh, I need to create boundaries, and there's a level of my soft girl or feminine energy that's like needing to be poured into is to actually untangle your stress response from who you are.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: So let's take it back to even what a stress response is, right?
12:50
SPEAKER_00: You've probably heard of fight or flight before, fight being typically categorized as assertive or dominating, moving towards the sense of conflict.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Flight would be the opposite.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: Some people have a default response most often, they get anxious, they retract, they want to literally and figuratively run away from the conflict.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Some people have more of a freeze response where they get really withdrawn, quiet.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: They might experience when there's conflict, their throat tightens up, they have a hard time understanding what they're even feeling.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: And then other people have more of a fawn response where they're under a lot of under a lot of stress, they're very high functioning, can put on a smile, can be so convincing that nothing's wrong that they actually convince themselves that nothing's wrong.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: And then that ends up leading most often to resentment, burnout, frustration, irritability, passive aggression, and that complaining energy, even though things are externally going really well.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: But it's important to understand whichever of those four stress responses that you might resonate most with, that is not you.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: Like you are not your stress response.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: You are a soul, a being, a human who has experienced certain things in your life, and that might have been a really intense moment in a short period of time.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: It might have been small moments that built up over a long period of time.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: And in order for you to be safe and to get love in the world, you were conditioned and shaped to express these different responses.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: So that's the first part of this whole process with expanding your capacity and asserting boundaries in a healthy way, taking space for yourself and pouring into yourself.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: It can feel really challenging to do that from a stress response.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: But when you untangle your sense of self and unblend yourself from the emotions that are there and the sensations that are actually coming up, that's a big one too.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people don't even know what they're feeling because they don't take the time and space, or maybe they don't know the tools to do that.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: But things get a lot more clear.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: And when you can untangle yourself from the stress response, when you can create space for the emotions that are moving through your system, that's what actually allows your prefrontal cortex, aka your rational thinking clarity mind to come online.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, that's what I need.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Go figure.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Where was that like 10 minutes ago?
15:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, it's so true.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, I think most people have experienced this, like being in one of those states and just being like confused and like, I don't know, like I don't know what I need in my business.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what I need right now.
16:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know, and I think it can kind of result in like adult like tantrums or as the Gen Z kids like to call crashing out.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: Um, but like really you're just you get like all mixed up and you don't have that clarity of like, okay, what actually do I need?
16:35
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I've seen it come up in businesses before, especially the fight response, like working with other business owners, you know, sometimes we'll be like, This happened, and you talk to them and you're like, I'm so mad, and blah, blah, blah.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: And you want to respond a certain way and set a really harsh boundary that maybe that's not even really what you needed.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: Like that boundary, like it just was a response, not an actual thought through like, what do I need out of this client relationship?
17:06
SPEAKER_01: Or what boundary do I actually need to set?
17:09
SPEAKER_01: And I think you can get like a little mixed up, and things can get a little crazy in your business because of that.
17:19
unknown: Yeah.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: How do you feel about that?
17:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, so then when you become more aware of these stress responses, which this is kind of the part that we're in, that I'm currently in in Claire's container right now, is figuring these out and kind of where do they come from and all that?
17:38
SPEAKER_01: It's it's going amazingly well.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: Um but after you've kind of done that, which I feel like takes time, and you're gonna go back into that, right?
17:49
SPEAKER_01: Like you don't just be like, oh, this is my fight response, do-do-do, then you never have a problem for the rest of your life, right?
17:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: It does take time, and you guys have only been through, which is actually crazy to think about, you've only been through two of these journeys yet.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: And I also want to just clarify for anyone who doesn't know what a breathwork journey is or what Jaden's doing in this course, we're not just like we're not just doing deep breathing for five minutes or something like that.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: This is what we call deeper therapeutic work.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: So this is a therapeutic style of breath work where you breathe deeply for around 40 minutes and then you ground in with around 15 to 20 minutes of more of a meditative process.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: And you can think of this like going to a workout, right?
18:49
SPEAKER_00: Like you go, you lift weights, you stress your muscles in a very intentional, healthy way.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: And then your muscles need recovery in order to actually grow.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: So you go into the stress intentionally and then you recover.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing with doing like sauna and cold plunge.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: Those are inherently stressful things on the body, but it's called a hormetic response, which means it's a healthy form of stress.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: And then you're not supposed to be in a sauna or cold plunge all day.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: You just go in for like 20 minutes or whatever, and then you go out and you rest and let your body recover.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing with breath work.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: So we're working with this more activating style of breath work to intentionally stir up energy in the body.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: And our bodies are not meant to sit in front of a laptop for 10 hours a day.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: We're not meant to wake up, sit down to eat, sit down at our computer, maybe do a 10-minute walk at lunch, and then get back to work, sit down at our desk, and then sit down on the couch to watch TV.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: Like that is not the way we're designed.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: And so it makes sense that we have this buildup of charge that's wanting to be released in our body.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: And it makes sense, especially given how disconnected we are from grounding in the earth, which is nature's very intelligent way of having this like um harmonious exchange where we get to discharge static into the earth, and then the earth gets to like receive our energy.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: So we're so disconnected from that in so many ways that that's why we have to create intentional containers to move that energy and to release the stress that we aren't able to release in the way nature essentially was intended.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's crazy you make that comparison to exercising because it's the same thing, you know, gyms didn't exist.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: I mean, gyms existed 50 years ago, but not to the extent that they exist now.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: And you think 100 years ago, 500 years ago, like you didn't need to do that because our bodies all day were doing those exercises.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: We were picking things up, moving all day long, not sitting in front of a laptop.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: So it's actually just not that different that we also need a practice for that energetic exercise basically in our lives now.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: And Jaden, I kind of want to turn it to you with a question real quick because I'm really curious at this point in your process.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: You've done meditation before, you've done some breath work experiences before, but this is, I believe, the first time you've been doing intentional full journeys kind of back to back like this.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious just what you're noticing in your own process right now, if there's anything you'd be open to sharing around that.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm thrilled to share about it.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: I feel like the biggest surprise for me because I have done, I've done talk therapy, I've done meditation, I've had a yoga practice for years, I've done like psychedelic work, I've done so many different things that um going into this, I was like, hmm, I'm interested to see what would happen.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like the biggest thing for me is like going through a series of journeys that each have a purpose that are guiding me through from from the bottom basically through these different levels, which I'm assuming will continue to happen throughout the rest of the course.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: Um has been so much deeper than anything else.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: Because when I went to talk therapy, you know, it was like I'd go, I'd say what happened that week, they'd kind of it's like the therapist is kind of judging you to a degree.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: They're, they're, you're telling them a story.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: Hopefully you're telling the full truth, right?
23:08
SPEAKER_01: And they're interpreting that in some way and then giving you feedback as to why that could be happening or how you could respond differently, et cetera, et cetera.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: Then you leave and you kind of are like, whatever, and until the next time you meet with them.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's the next month or whatever, which for me was helpful during time during a very stressful time where I needed and I didn't have another resource.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: That was very helpful to me.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: But I feel like now it's like, I mean, I'm aware of the fact that I'm this way or that way.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm aware of it.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: I need to do something a little deeper to be able to like break through that and and change it.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's how I felt about talk therapy versus breath work.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: And then even when it comes to like psychedelic therapies that I've done, um, I mean, anyone listening to this, if you've ever done it, you know that like it's very intense for a short period of time, and then you do integration.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: Um, but for me, it can sometimes be hard to even really remember and um implement all the things because it is so intense.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, we went through like 70 different topics in this journey.
24:27
SPEAKER_01: Like, and now I'm like, oh, I hope I retained all of that.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: Um, where the breath work has been more, it seems like direct and targeted, and enough integration between each one that I really can start to see a pattern and address it each time it comes up over the next bit, if that makes sense.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: And which stress response have you been resonating most with lately?
25:01
SPEAKER_01: So when I started, I felt like the stress response was fight, and it kind of was, but then I actually realized that it was more coming from a fawn response that was then like triggering the fight response, which is funny, like they're all obviously so connected, but it felt like once I kind of recognized and really had an understanding of the fawn response and was able to like get comfortable with it, then the fight response has kind of I wouldn't say that it's like disappeared, but it's so much less intense, and I feel a lot less like resistance to whatever might come up there.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's gonna be so much too that unravels over the next couple weeks because we've got repattern template for masculine energy this week and then feminine energy the next week, and then we go into all the shifting from fawn response into power center work after that.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm so excited.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have Claire and Tay, Tay's the other facilitator, back on the podcast in a little bit.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: So maybe we'll get through a couple more things and then we can come back on and talk about that.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, that is my journey.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: And if anyone has any questions, you guys are like welcome to DM me or I'm sure Claire would answer your questions too.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I this made me think of the reason I decided to do this course with Claire is because I've done a lot of coaching programs.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: Like I've done one-on-one coaching, I've done group coaching, I've done all these things that are like related to my business.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: Because obviously, like if you're listening to this podcast, you care about marketing and business.
26:49
SPEAKER_01: And like I've been really focused on wanting to grow that um to a place that feels exciting for me.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: But it was interesting because before I decided to do this, I was looking at other coaching programs and truly none of them felt right.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, that's all I can say is like in my gut didn't feel right.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: They had case studies, they it all made sense.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: Like in theory, logically, you could say like it would be a good investment, but I just could not get myself to sign up for any of the programs because I really felt like deep down, like I know the answers on how to scale my business and how to market effectively.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't need someone else to regurgitate what I've heard already.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: It needs to come from me.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because I mean, I really haven't experienced anything necessarily to do specifically with business yet in the journey, but I have like had problems come up with clients in the past couple weeks that now I'm so much better at just handling it because those things are gonna happen, period.
27:59
SPEAKER_01: No matter what coaching program you do, no matter how scaled your business is, like you're going to have those things that come up.
28:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's been helpful to know how to address them in like a healthier way.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what the journey space is for is tapping into your inner wisdom because you're smart, you're capable, and most women are highly, highly intuitive.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: It's just a matter of getting into that space of clarity that we usually resist because we were consist conditioned to override our body's natural cues and signals rather than actually tune in and create space for them and listen to them.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I feel like to social media has probably like made this so much harder for women because depending on who you follow, you know, everyone is going to tell you that there's a right, perfect pathway to do what you want to do.
29:05
SPEAKER_01: Like everyone has their own thing and then they want to sell that to you, which is it's valuable, right?
29:11
SPEAKER_01: Like it does help people, but I think if you're not connected and in tune with your true like intuition and clarity, you can just feel really insecure.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: For one, you can always feel like you're not doing it right.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: And two, like you can spend a lot of money and time and energy investing in things that don't work for you because inherently you're not either you're not ready or maybe you know the way and it's not that way that you just paid five thousand dollars to learn how to do.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's such a good point.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Because ultimately, I'd say, like, I'm not the type of person to be like, oh, everything's out there is such a scam and people are slimy and salesy.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, I believe most people selling things online are good people and probably have really good knowledge to share, but you do have to be really discerning with where you're at in your journey and what you're needing at this time.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: And is the personality and like the quote unquote vibe a good fit?
30:15
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the part, honestly, that most people struggle with because there can be this feeling of missing out, like, oh shoot, what if this is the thing that changes it all?
30:26
SPEAKER_00: And ultimately there gets to be that stage in your process where you have learned enough knowledge for at least this level and to like grow to where you are.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: And then what I have been really, really loving, focusing on in my business is prioritizing the maintenance phase.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: So when I do have that kind of dopamine surge of like, oh wow, this was really big growth.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm loving all of my clients, this is so fun.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: There's that initial tendency to be like, oh, I want more, like, let's go bigger.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: And something that Tay and I have been kind of navigating is we've got 17 women currently in this cohort of open virtual, and we're just having really open dialogue right now around what the next launch looks like.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: And the first instinct could be, oh, like let's double it, like let's get 40 women in there, you know?
31:32
SPEAKER_00: And we're just really wanting to slow the breaks in that planning process and get really honest about our capacity.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: And maybe if there's creative ways that that needs to look like in order to honor our capacity while being the best stewards to our clients.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: So these are the things that like need to happen behind the scenes, right?
31:56
SPEAKER_00: Is you grow and then you maintain and then you grow and then you maintain.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: But a lot of people don't prioritize like the things that should actually be happening in that maintenance phase, which include pouring into your cup and giving yourself the physical needs that you need, the mental, the emotional needs, and if it is exciting to you and interesting to you, spiritual connection, that kind of stuff.
32:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: I feel like most people in my world are spiritually driven in some way.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: Like they're they know that there's a deeper connection.
32:37
SPEAKER_01: And I disagree with you.
32:39
SPEAKER_01: I think, yeah, like I agree with I I believe like these coaches and these different programs and stuff on the internet can be really helpful.
32:50
SPEAKER_01: And I I think that if you're like running your business out of integrity, you're not gonna be able to like grow it.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: So I don't they're big, they're big and they're great coaches for a reason, like they're good at that.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: But I think it is coming back to like you and being honest with yourself, knowing like, is it a time to maybe refine my current craft, or is it a time to get this external help, or do I have the answer and I just need to be quiet for long enough to listen to myself?
33:24
SPEAKER_01: That was actually something that came up in our first journey together.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: I really had a big part of my journey was about like how I really do need to feed into myself because then it's like a flower.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, if I water myself, like I'm a bigger, more beautiful flower, and people are going to be more attracted to me and interested in working with me than if I'm like literally dying on the side of the road.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, that's not a good way to be, you know?
33:53
SPEAKER_01: So I had I had a big realization for that, and it's so funny and random.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: But then shortly after, I was like, you know what?
34:00
SPEAKER_01: I haven't done in forever, like taking a shower without rushing.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: Like every morning I'm like, we're journaling, we're this, we're working out.
34:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm getting in the shower as fast as I can, getting out, like not even really on, I'm not trying to rush through on purpose, but I've never done it like slowly.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: And I just took like seriously a 30-minute long shower, which is truly unheard of for me.
34:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm very fast.
34:27
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, this is self-care.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, are you kidding me?
34:31
SPEAKER_01: This is incredible.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: Like, what have I been missing out on?
34:35
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I went throughout my weekend just from a place of like happiness.
34:42
SPEAKER_01: I was just like, oh, like I feel really good because I took some time for myself instead of just like going through the motions and rushing as fast as I can.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: That's so funny you mentioned the shower because that's like my favorite thing to do.
34:58
SPEAKER_00: And I try to be mindful.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm not always taking 30-minute showers, but I'd say, I'd say almost every shower I take, there's at least like a five-minute chunk where I'm just kind of doing a standing meditation, like feeling the water on me, maybe letting my eyes just admire like the intricacies of the water droplets, like dropping down the shower glass, like that kind of stuff I find really nurturing.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: And there's a playlist actually in that playlist section of the resource hub for open virtual that the playlist is called Clarity Shower.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I made that playlist, is because I call those Clarity Show.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, that is like I just sat there and like I felt the water like on my head, which like I never do because I'm just like, we gotta go.
35:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, we're not spending time in here.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: Um, and it was just really interesting because I think this is actually something that has come up a lot on social media recently, is people are like, self-care is not a bubble bath because that because that can sometimes become a superficial, like, oh, I'm taking care of myself when really like there maybe there's more like inner work that needs to be done.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: Um, what are your thoughts on this?
36:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm just curious, like, where do you find balance in there?
36:15
SPEAKER_01: And what are your thoughts?
36:18
SPEAKER_00: The word you said balance is basically my thoughts.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: So it's funny because I made a post about that once and I knew where I was coming from too.
36:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, like, I'm not a big bath person, but I like I just said I love the clarity shower vibe.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: So I understand it.
36:37
SPEAKER_00: And for me in making that post, like self-care, I think I said like self-care is more than bubble baths or something like that.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: And that's just it.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: It's it's more than bubble baths.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: So, like you get to enjoy your bath, or if you love a cozy night reading, or if you have a guilty pleasure TV show that just kind of fills your cup in a weird way to just lounge on the couch and do nothing.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: Like that's great, and all of that has its place.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's important to acknowledge that we have needs beyond the physical, and we have needs beyond just our brain being off.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: And those needs include recognizing the emotions and the energy that we probably aren't creating space to move and process because we were never taught the tools how to do so, because we live in this time in 2025 where a lot of people are transitioning into prioritizing this in a bigger way, and I find that really exciting, but we're not there yet.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me too.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: Most of the world just like isn't there yet.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: So that kind of leads me into this greater theme of like generational health and generational happiness.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people talk about generational wealth.
38:08
SPEAKER_00: And if you're listening to this podcast and you want to have kids, maybe that's actually like a big motivator for you is creating a really stable foundation for your kids and being that role model for them in what it gets to be like to design your own work schedule or um pursue something that's really exciting and interesting to you.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: And that's amazing.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: And what really motivates me is this concept of generational happiness and generational health.
38:43
SPEAKER_00: And that goes beyond physical health, even though that's a really big step up for some people to actually prioritize their health and well-being so that their kids can have those role models, and also just like without getting too nerdy, like pass on those epigenetic benefits.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, being healthy.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: That could be a whole nother episode.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: Literally.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: We'll have to um flag down Huberman for that one because that's about as far as I can go on that.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: But creating capacity, like circling back to that theme.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's for you and your own well-being to create capacity for more clients, for maybe more complex problems in your business.
39:37
SPEAKER_00: Because when I think about scaling up, it's not that it's not always that there's more problems, because in a way, sometimes there's actually fewer problems.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: It's just that they're different and they require your brain to think in a different way.
39:53
SPEAKER_00: So increasing capacity gets to be about increasing capacity for that complexity and that newness of growth.
40:02
SPEAKER_00: It also gets to be about increasing capacity for spaciousness in your life and actually feeling fucking safe to relax into there being nothing to do on a Saturday.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: And crazy.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: I know.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: Literally same, dude.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm in this boat too.
40:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm just, we're all trying our best.
40:27
SPEAKER_00: And I think there's this energy on that note of it's not that it's inherently a bad thing to do work on a Saturday.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: It's just like, where's that energy coming from?
40:40
SPEAKER_00: Is it coming from I'm not enough, or things are gonna go wrong if I don't do this, or my client's gonna be pissed at me if I don't do this?
40:47
SPEAKER_00: Or is the energy coming from I actually want this?
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Like I choose this.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not the thing I want to be doing.
40:55
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'd rather be at Barton Springs and like laying in the sun with my friends.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: But from a place of wholeness and fulfillment and honesty about what I want to get done in order to feel my best going into Monday, I fully choose this project for my Saturday morning.
41:12
SPEAKER_00: Like that feels so different in your body versus the other way.
41:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it feels very much like more empowered, just like I'm I'm choosing to do this.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to do it, but it's for my best.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: It's for what I want, you know.
41:28
SPEAKER_01: Um as you were kind of talking about those different things about increasing your capacity, it just made me think of an example of people who like yes, we've all experienced that our own selves, but I feel like it can be helpful to see it happen.
41:45
SPEAKER_01: And when I think about it, I think about Karen's.
41:49
SPEAKER_01: Like, we've all seen those TikToks of like a woman who or a man who is at their wits' absolute end.
41:59
SPEAKER_01: They do not have the capacity for whatever it is, whatever very small things happening, right?
42:04
SPEAKER_01: Somebody parked in their parking spot, the cashier couldn't do exactly what they wanted.
42:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, those are very small problems to have, and they will just like totally lose composure over it.
42:17
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, yeah, because they don't have capacity for that little thing to happen.
42:22
SPEAKER_01: And I think, at least in my perspective, when you're you've increased your capacity for all things, maybe a challenge, maybe joy, maybe happiness, whatever it is, when you've increased your capacity, small things don't send you to another dimension like that anymore.
42:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, they don't bring your happiness down to nothing and they don't make you explode with anger.
42:48
SPEAKER_01: Would you agree with that?
42:50
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
42:52
SPEAKER_00: And it's even like when you were describing taking that extra time in the shower and feeling the water on your head, like that is an example of increasing your capacity for the goodness in life, and that's honestly, it's not something you have to try to do when you are going into those dirty spaces or working with somatic techniques to clear out the shit that's been bogging you down.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: Because being a Karen in the world or like being really irritable with your family, those are just natural symptoms of there's too much charge in your body that hasn't been given the space to move and be let go.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: And so it comes out in inappropriate ways.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: But when you create a healthy context for processing that charge and for processing those emotions and that energy that's just been built up throughout the week, then that's where the natural byproduct of that is having more spaciousness to like.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Literally open up your perspective to the world and be like, oh wow, the sun's shining really beautifully today.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: Or oh wow, um, like I'm actually just feeling hot today.
44:11
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm feeling myself.
44:12
SPEAKER_00: There's just this natural glow.
44:14
SPEAKER_00: And that's the stuff that I get really excited about.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that so much.
44:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, is there anything else you want to add on on this topic?
44:29
SPEAKER_00: I think just the overarching message that it goes so much deeper than affirmations or like gratitude journaling is great.
44:39
SPEAKER_00: I know you've been on your shit with that.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: You've been so consistent.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure you could also agree that those practices hit different when you actually work with your body in those ways.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: Certainly.
44:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
44:56
SPEAKER_01: And I think one big way that that has happened is like because I have more clarity on really truly like what my needs are and like what my true self wants and is.
45:08
SPEAKER_01: The things I'm grateful for have shifted, and the things that I want to manifest that I like to manifest through doing gratitude practices have shifted too.
45:19
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, you thought you wanted money, but really you just want peace.
45:25
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, great, I'm glad I have that clarity now, you know.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: And I now I'm more open to receiving what I really want because I actually know what I really want.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: And the thing with that is that you probably will end up receiving money just through more aligned ways that also give you peace.
45:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
45:49
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
45:50
SPEAKER_01: Please.
45:51
SPEAKER_01: Thanks, universe.
45:56
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
45:57
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's been so fun having you on, Claire.
46:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, just I just want to check if there's anything else you want to add or no, I feel complete.
46:07
SPEAKER_00: I would love to come back after you've gone through the full eight weeks with open virtual, because then you'll have like a full arc and we can get Tay on the line too, and that'll be really fun.
46:18
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
46:19
SPEAKER_01: You guys all will stay tuned for that.
46:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm so excited and happy to do that.
46:24
SPEAKER_01: And Claire has um, she has a clarity lab, which just makes so much sense that your name is Claire because this is all just making a lot of sense.
46:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, but she does have her Clarity Lab where she has shorter um breath work and somatic tools and different things like that.
46:42
SPEAKER_01: So we'll make sure to link that because if you guys are just starting out or this is the first time you've heard of it, um, she has an intro class that is amazing.
46:52
SPEAKER_01: And I would highly recommend you guys dive into that.
46:56
SPEAKER_01: Um, and we will for sure have Claire back.
46:58
SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for being here.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I want to add one last thing is that Clarity Labs, my virtual breathwork studio.
47:07
SPEAKER_00: There's a ton of good stuff in there.
47:09
SPEAKER_00: And if this is something that interests you, my co-facilitator slash best friend and I, we are creating an intro course that is essentially gonna be like the stepping stone into what Jaden's doing now, open virtual.
47:22
SPEAKER_00: So that's gonna be coming sometime over the next month or two.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: So, Jaden, I'll probably whip up a wait list link and you can pop that in there if anyone's interested too.
47:32
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you guys, I'm telling you right now, do it, and you can totally trust me on this one, okay?
47:40
SPEAKER_01: Um, but yes, thank you for sharing that, Claire, and thank you for being here.
47:44
SPEAKER_01: And I hope you have a great rest of your week.
47:48
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening, everyone.
47:50
unknown: Okay, bye.