Latest / Don Talk - Conversations with Mike Turner / Daughter, Women and the Way We Show Up

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Daughter, Women and the Way We Show Up · Don Talk - Conversations with Mike Turner

• Welcome everybody to another episode of Don Talk. This is episode tray. daughters, women, and the way we show up. That's the topic here, before we get started, how you doing, brother? Let's just start off with that, the realness, how you doing? Don Talk: ⁓ I am drained. But you know what? It doesn't matter because no matter how we feel, how men feel, we got to show up. Period. So I'm showing up today. Got to, got to, but you gotta release it somehow. So you drain what you mean by drain, what's draining you? Don Talk: It's just a lot of work and things like that. ⁓ Things that had to do prior to this. But other than that, as far as my life, health, all that, I'm golden. hear you. hear you. That's what's up. That's what's up. You know, I'm good. know, things is, things was hectic for a while of trying to find balance in work, trying to make sure we, I keep my job, you know, ⁓ and make sure, I'm a perfectionist. So I'm always like operating from a sense of urgency. So. Don Talk: What about you, man? Don't forget about you. Yeah Mm-hmm. I think we're in a good space right now of just like not coasting, but preparing for the uphill battle so we can make it easier. So I think it's good. I'm gonna head over to Arkansas this weekend to see a track meet and yeah, I'll make that little drive, go see a track meet, see a friend. I'm good, man. No complaints. No complaints. Don Talk: ⁓ really? Okay. Is it a female friend? Nah, it's one of the homies that I worked with at University of Miami. He's now at Arkansas. And I've even as a student athlete, I'd never competed at Arkansas, always wanted to. So I'm like, it's a seven hour drive, but you know, I'm like, F it. I gotta go see the homie. They got a big track meet. I'm going, you know, so I get my track fix in. All right. So what you sipping on tonight? What's the drink of choice tonight? Don Talk: Mm. There you go. Do your thing, man. Sounds good. This is a little cabernet. Yeah, so I'm feeling wine-like, man. So you're gonna see me, I'm a little cooler than usual. Okay. Okay. All right, all right, so we're gonna get to lay back the rhyme today. Well, I don't know what Mike you're gonna get today, because I got this uncle nearest single barrel, you know. ⁓ We'll see how this talk goes, you know, because when you get the unking, you never know. You never know how goes. Don Talk: ⁓ okay, okay. Okay. You never know. ⁓ You're gonna ask that when you get the unk and you out, right? That could be taken in so many ways. Okay, with the Uncle Neers drink alcoholic beverage. Yeah, when you get the uncle nearest in you. Right, there we go. Yes. Cheers to that. Cheers to you, brother. Don Talk: You too, Good seeing you today, too. Always man. I'm so glad we doing this man. I know we always talk about how You know, we've known each other since birth as you say we haven't talked that much and this is I like this because it forces us to get to talk to one another and really dive into like the things that we need we need to Fellowship more so so I love the fact that we doing this man And if we can help one person two people three people in the process Don Talk: Thank Absolutely. Absolutely, absolutely. My day is made. right. All right. So let's get this party started. Daughters, women, and the way we show up. The last episode you came up with, you dropped the hammer with the question off the back. You didn't even let us get warmed up. So now it's my turn to ask you the question. All right. And I'm looking over here. If I'm not looking here, I'm looking at my notes over here. So. Don Talk: Let's do it. Absolutely, man. I'm with that. ⁓ You Okay, okay. How do daughters change the way men see themselves? did you, let's start off. How many daughters do you have? Don Talk: have two daughters, teenage daughter and a four year old daughter. Okay. Okay, and how did they change the way, like, you saw yourself? And this is like, you saw yourself, and does that apply to men across the board? Don Talk: Man, actually it's a lot man. And I'm glad you asked that question because my daughter was my first child, right? So not only does your first child change you, but when your first child is a daughter, that's like a double change. You know what I mean? It made me look at, I would say myself. Like it made me look at the way I used to treat women, the way I used to talk to women. It me look at all that and it helped me realize, you know what? While some men will raise their daughters like princesses and things like that, I'm raising my daughter to be able to, so she can actually handle knuckleheads like me. We're not knucklehead no more, but the knucklehead you used to be. Don Talk: I need her, I can be a knucklehead, I used to be a knucklehead sometime today, man, I could be a friend. But what I mean by that is, I don't shield her from a lot of things. I let her know how men think, I let her know how men feel. I share things with her just to kind of give her an example of what men actually go through sometimes that they don't show. Because when we were growing up, our parents, our dads didn't show anything. They didn't show anything as far as feelings. You know what I mean? And I'm raising my daughter to make sure that she understands the man's feelings, understands that she can either be ⁓ spinach to the man or his kryptonite. Spinach as in Popeye the sailor man. Okay, make them strong. Don Talk: Like, Papa, you know, like, you know, you know, she can make him, she can make him stronger. And if she knows what she is doing, she'll be able to create an incredible, even more incredible man than he thought he could be. Now, here's the kicker, does it just have to be a man while he can't be a partner in general? Don Talk: Thank because I don't know the other side. I'm letting her know what from a male perspective, me, you know what saying? As far as her mom, she'll let her know from a female perspective. Yeah, ⁓ what if we talk about that? And I asked her all the time. I asked her and I asked her that, you know what I told her? I said, listen, I said, first I asked her that she, you know, prefer men or women. She says, well, I don't know, but. No, do you know what I'm talking about? Like what if she doesn't, what she's not into, what she's not into, man. So we'll, yeah. Don Talk: I want to marry a man. She straight up said to that. She was like, but I don't know. And I said, all right, you this time you you should be able to ask your kids that. And it's just like, that's their life. Do what you do. You know what I'm saying? But I think it's important that she knows that, you know, I'm open to talking about it if it does come up, you know, and if it doesn't, oh well. Yeah, I got you. Don Talk: Alright, what about you man? You ask me this question, same question to you. So like you, my one and only child ⁓ was a daughter. Yeah, is a daughter. ⁓ I had her at the age of 22, 23, and blew my mind because I wasn't expecting her. It was a child out of wedlock, a broken relationship too. yeah. Hey, listen, I remember... ⁓ Don Talk: me. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. None of us was expecting her. But blessing, blessing. I let that go now. Definitely best. Okay, before we go on, remember, I don't know if you remember the night I met her mom. Don Talk: Yeah vaguely but I And we was at the airport Marriott at a church convention. And I was like, I met her and I was like, ooh, I'm gonna talk to her. I'm gonna holler at her. And then one of y'all said, don't do it. Well, I remember that one of y'all said, don't do it. Don Talk: Yeah. Hey, that's a whole nother episode, man. Okay, all right, but so, oh, it's a blessing. The only thing that I wish is I wish that the mother, her mother was still the active part of her life. And that's a different story. And we may get into that during this, I don't know. So she changed my life. I wouldn't say I was on a path of... Don Talk: but there's something good that came from it. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. like about to run amok, but I think I was, I know I was going into my senior year college, was at the top of my athletic game. I was about to like graduate and have some fun, right? That's, graduating and have some fun. That's what my mind was at. Whatever that fun, that fun was like, okay, I'm going overseas. I'm gonna compete in track and field. I'm gonna just, I'm gonna make some money. I'm gonna live a life, like bam. Don Talk: Yes, absolutely. daughter comes, ⁓ changed the game. It made me slow up and sit back, okay, like, not what's best for me now, like what's best for us. And that had to, that... took back. Now I have to think about every action that even though I was not perfect at all, at all, was not perfect in every decision I made, but my mind was always thinking about every action that you take now is going to affect her. So that whether it's being present and ensuring that, okay, I want to make sure it is present because whoever she ends up with, she's going to look at my mindset was she's going to look at Don Talk: Right, right. who her father was and how her father showed her love and that's gonna be her interpretation of love. Don Talk: Now she's grown now. Has that happened? Has it happened? She's 25. You know, in some way you lose track of the kids when they become teenagers. They end up doing their own thing. ⁓ She, I don't know if she, maybe one day we'll have her on here, but I don't know if she completely understands what, how she should be treated. And I think that's more from lack of self-esteem. I know she struggles with. Don Talk: you Right, right? Her mom, at one point in time, well, I know she still struggles with not the fact that her mom's not in her life right now of why her mom didn't want to be in her life. So that neglect factor she struggles with. don't think she, don't, I can't speak for her, but I don't know if she wants a relationship with her mom right now. I don't. But I know she struggles with why doesn't she, why didn't she want me? And I think that hinders her confidence. ⁓ Don Talk: Okay. you there. But I did it. Don Talk: She doesn't think that she's enough. I have that same problem. So, and not now, I don't want to overcompensate by spoiling her as a 25 year old woman. I don't want to continue to spoil her and hold her hand to try to show her she's enough, but not let her continue to experience real life. So she can fall, dust herself off and get back up and do it again, you know, and try again. Don Talk: Right. And that's what I'm talking about. That's what has also changed the way I do things. I just want to make sure that my daughter, if she falls, she knows how to get back up. Because they will fall. You know, you ⁓ gotta let them. And we just have to be there, call away, you know, because we're still there to support. That's never gonna stop. We're gonna support them the best way we can, you know, but... Right, you have to let them. You have to let them. Don Talk: It's gonna be up to them, man. And we're hope, it is our hopes, it is my hope that whatever I taught her helps. But you have to remember, you know, our kids, had a village, It was a village. So it's she got a little bit of you, a little bit of this person, a little bit of that person, a little bit of that person. And that is who creates our kids. Yeah, you're right. I did. ⁓ Mm-hmm. Don Talk: the type of person that our daughters will become. ⁓ Yeah, it truly takes a village, like you said. Truly takes a village. I say I was a single parent from the time she was one and a half, because that's when I took her. I've had custody of her, me see, I'll say this right. I've had full responsibility of her since she was one and a half. I got full custody of her when she was about five years old. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. So ⁓ that, I took her to grad school. you know, like, so just so people are aware, like the backstory, ⁓ daughter was born in March. I was still in school. I finished, got back home. Her mom was in LA. I got back home. I first, I didn't think she was mine. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. ⁓ I remember it, ⁓ I didn't think she should, so I a test. She's four months old now. I got a test. She's 99.99%. Cool, I'm there. So I would get her on the weekends. I was working at Starbucks from 5 a.m. to noon. You remember that? Good old Magic Johnson Starbucks on La Tierra. Don Talk: I remember that. ⁓ Um, so, and then I would drive up to Cal State Northridge and coach track and field for the afternoon evening. Yeah. And I would do that during the week and then her mom was in Bakersfield. So at Friday afternoon, I would start my drive to Bakersfield, pick her up and bring her back to LA. So now it's an hour and a half to Bakersfield, two hours back to. Don Talk: ⁓ wow, I didn't know that. ⁓ wow, okay. to my house, my parents' house. And then I would have to drop her back off on Sunday. So I'm like, that's not even a full three days. That's like two and a half, if that, of the habit. Don Talk: What card did you have at that time? Which card? Was that the VW? Yeah, yeah, the, ⁓ the Passat, the, the night. No, I had the red one, the red Passat. I think it was a red Passat. I think so. It was Earl. Earl had the white one. And then I ended up purchasing it off of him later on. So yeah. So that was, that was my life. Yeah. That's another episode. So then that was, that was, that was me for a while. And then the weekend would turn into a week. Right. Don Talk: The white one. the redwood side. ⁓ I know one of had to wipe. Probably was your brother who had to wipe. Okay. ⁓ I did not have it so... Mm-hmm. And then the week would turn into a couple weeks. And then a couple weeks would turn into I would have her for an extended period of time. So her mom ended up taking, I don't want to go into too many details, her mom ended up taking her back before I went back to grad school. So during this time, is part of the, how did she change the way I saw myself? During this time, I had a degree from Purdue. Did I apply myself to the fullest to earn that degree? No. So now I'm working at Starbucks coaching, which I was having a good time doing it and trying to raise a child with the help of my parents and other family that's in LA. It was killing me. 5 a.m. to, you know, 8, 9 p.m. sleep for three hours, get back up, do it all again. So during that time when she was with us during the week, parents were very integral and like helping me out, you know. But then during that time, I also was like, this is not sustainable. Don Talk: Yeah, right. I have to do better for us. Because at the rate that I'm going, I'm not going to be able to take care of us, me and her. So I had to find my way back into grad school. So that's what I did. I did whatever I had to do to get back into grad school. Or to get into grad school, not back. To go back to school, to better myself, to show myself that I could do better and have a better future for us. I did that, ended up back at Purdue. Don Talk: Okay. for grad school, but her mom reappeared and she ended up staying with her before I left. I'll put it that way. That's the kind of way of saying it. When I came back for Christmas, Christmas break, she, my daughter has been at my parents' house for over a month. So I'm like, all right, well, cool. Well, she's coming back with me. So now no plan. I'm staying with two, I'm staying, I got two roommates. back ⁓ in grad school. I called him and say, I'm bringing my daughter back, you know. And they're like, all right, bet. So I go back to grad school and two of the homies to my friends to this day, Bobby and Tim. I remember the first week of school, I didn't have no plans, no preparation. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but like I had to step up big time. I was like, Tim, I need your help. Bobby was my roommate. So Bobby was, I think he was in class during this time. But was like, Tim, I need your help. My classes are from five to eight, you know, in grad school. I said, so. Don Talk: Yeah, ⁓ yeah. Tim, can you come and watch her? Put on Winnie the Pooh, she will not move. If it stops, repeat that sucker. Just play it again. So I bought those food, had everything set, I'm going to class. Tim ends up calling his girlfriend over there to come help out, who he's now married to. So I come back from... Don Talk: You You know, my three hour class on day one, Taylor is sitting in the same spot I left her and Tim and his girl at the time are sitting there was like, she ain't moved. I was like, I told you like, we need to poo. She's good. But that, she changed me to tell me I have to do better for us. So, you know, and when you talk about a community between Tim and Bobby, these are my homies. They helped me. Don Talk: Right. watch her during those times until I get things figured out to find daycare, all these other things. They helped me out and those are my boys, those are homies that a community starting off, if true friends gonna dive in to help. Don Talk: And that... To add to that, because we were in Indiana as well, right? And that's when my wife was in Purdue. I was at IU on accident. I didn't know that was going to happen, but I just went there. ⁓ having my daughter, it taught me to look at family differently. When we were raising my daughter, because myself and my wife, Mm-hmm. Yep. Don Talk: We didn't raise our child in the conventional, you know, family, know, grandmother, grandfather, aunt. No, it wasn't like that. Right. For us, it was friends. Like our friends were our family. Like you, you know, like I said, Taylor's you little cousin, you know what saying? A bunch of people at Purdue, you know, at the time. Cause we, we didn't raise our kids around family. Cause we were somewhere else. So that showed me, you know what? I can create my own family. I can create my own, I didn't think about that because sometimes we feel that we're stuck in the family that we have. Man, I can't mean, I mean, you stuck with their blood, true. Yeah, you know. Mm-hmm. but also family can hurt you more than can't help you. I say that all the time. They can hurt you more than they can help you. Don Talk: Family can, oh God, man, man. You gotta get it right. Blood family, you gotta say blood. Blood, they think that they're, if you allow them to, they think they're more important than they really are. They think they have more say so in your child's life than they really do, right? And this is my thing. If, and I'm not gonna go too far off, right? But if, Blood family, blood family, yeah. They can, they have the ability to if you allow them to, not always, yeah. Don Talk: You weren't around to help my child in any way. If you weren't around, know, send money or saying something, if you weren't around, then don't come in thinking that you can tell me how the parent or what to do with my child. And you can, you can, you can hear that in my voice. Like, ⁓ somebody must've did that. Man. Hey man. I'm telling you, man. So many of so many of these, you know, quote unquote, you know, blood. Yeah, I could see the steam coming out through that hat. it Don Talk: relatives, you know, they have all this, they have all the, all this advice. And if they, if they not in your situation, Mike, they can't say nothing to you. You know, if they, if they weren't around to help you raise your children or your child, then shut up. Like I'm saying that on camera, shut up. You know what I'm saying? No, no, no, I'm talking, I'm talking to the people. Yeah. Okay, so you're talking to somebody. I'm not gonna ask you who talking to, but I'm gonna refer, I'm gonna... Don Talk: to where they were supposed to be supportive, but they was not. Yeah, I got you. got you. Yeah. Don Talk: You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, yeah, this is, but you know, I blast people. don't, you know, I don't do all that, man, but. Yeah, we ain't gonna, we not here to do that. We here to uplift, we here to uplift. So here's a question. This is emotion, yeah, it is. 100%, 100%. So here's the thing, like I'm gonna you a question, but I'm gonna answer it so you can understand what I'm asking. What was the one thing that you were taught growing up that you wanted to debunk or not bring into you as a father raising your kid, right? Don Talk: Yeah, but this is the most, this is the most enthused. Right? Okay. The one thing that I hated growing up was kids couldn't intermingle with the grown-up. This is grown-up business. Y'all gotta go over there. I hated that. As a child, and I hated it, I hated it as an adult. If we should not be, so if they're not gonna learn it from your parents, they gonna learn it in the streets. Don Talk: You hate that as a child or now as an adult? Okay, ⁓ gotcha. So why not just allow them to be around you? And if they hear something that you wasn't expecting to hear at that point in time, you got to sit down and talk to them and say, okay, this is what that really meant. This is what it's about. ⁓ I think Taylor developed, I believe strongly Taylor developed better and faster as a kid. And she's more cognitive, cognitively aware of life and what's going on because I did not shield her from adults. Don Talk: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I remember being at a cookout in Indiana, a friend's house, Taylor's with me. She's probably seven years old, right? There's some other kids there, but I'm over here in the corner of the backyard with some other adults, and I'm like, okay, where's Taylor? And I look over beyond, Taylor has an audience of eight adults just yapping and talking. Don Talk: Is okay? and they just laughing, giggling, having a good time and they just are interacting. Like that teaches skill. Like that's a skill that you can't, that cannot be taught, but you have to experience it. And like, if I didn't give her that, she wouldn't be. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. Yeah. She's a store manager at Foot Locker. She wouldn't have the ability to conversate and talk with people and talk with her boss the appropriate way because she lacked that skill and that growth mechanism growing up. Like, she learned it early and is helping her out right now. Don Talk: I agree with that, man, because I talked to my, I said, we talk about sex, you know, with my kids, like with my, the ones who can understand it, you know what saying? So I'm definitely open with them, but sometimes I'm like, grown folk, I guess in a way I partly agree with it because sometimes they try to intervene and then you kind of got to say, this grown folk business, that comment wasn't appropriate. So it is still a teaching moment. ⁓ So I can see how that, you know, that statement is true, you know, as far as what you said. I completely agree. Is there an age where it's not grown folk business anymore? You can be involved? Don Talk: Well, I don't think it was ever a grown folk business. I just think it's my business and I don't want you to know about it. Right? You know, it's different, right? And I think that's what a lot of, I think that's what a lot of grown people mean to say. This is my business. I don't need your input. Right? Whether you 60 or whether you six. Yeah, that's different. That's different. I think that's different. And I felt like that pushes saying, this is growing folk business, that pushes them to find out more about life amongst their friends who don't know about life. So they're learning life from the wrong people. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. Right? Like my kids know I drink liquor. My kids know, you know, I go out and I smoke a cigar, you know, in front of them. I mean, not in front of them, but they know that, I seen daddy smoke a cigar before. Like, all right. You know what saying? This is, I want them to know that, you know, it's okay to do certain things, but you just have to be responsible when you do it. You know I'm saying? So if they see me, you know, drinking and they know, okay, man, well, he ain't getting drunk. Right, yeah. Don Talk: Okay, I know probably having to have one drink, you know, because that's typically what I usually have, just one drink. Well, I'm sorry, one glass and I have multiple drinks in my glass. Yeah, because you know, they got one glass of wine. You could actually pour a full bottle in one glass of wine. I just got one glass. Don Talk: What you talking about? you talking about? ⁓ man. Let me see. I'm trying to answer your question because I'm trying to think about what is it, know, growing up I didn't like, you know, as far as, because I know that. ⁓ that you're like, I'm not gonna do that with my kids. Don Talk: I would say whip my kids. You know what saying? I pop them on the hand, you know what saying? But it's one of that. let me tell you why this. Because ⁓ the first time I popped my kids, let's say my son. He was doing something, I popped him on the butt and he looked at me like this. You never whooped him? I can't say the same. Because you popped them you whoop them Don Talk: I said, okay, this ain't gonna work for him, right? No, no, but the thing is he wasn't old enough for whooping, but that pop, that pops to the made him cry a little bit, but it didn't. It didn't. So once I realized that, would, you know, I remember when I got, you know, jacked up by my pops, it only made me angry because after a while I didn't cry no more. After a while it didn't even hurt. I used to, ⁓ Yeah, it didn't. Don Talk: Lick my finger and put, you know, my, you know what saying? Because it wasn't hurting anymore. So this whole time I was getting angrier and angrier and angrier until I actually put hands up with my dad. Man, we put hands up. Definitely, he sure did. He did, he did. He knocked, he knocked me out. Well, okay. And he knocks you out, I can see your pops like, nigga what? Don Talk: He didn't punch me in my face. Like he punched me so hard in my chest that I just was like, yeah, was happy. I was on the ground and he stood over me like, you know, Ali and was it, who was it on the ground that that picture with Ali on the, with the Fraser? He stood over me like that. And I'm like, I was like, okay, from that day forward, have never, and he never had to whoop me. He never, we never, you know, fought or nothing like that. That was it. I seen my dad become a 22 year old man all over again. gonna say, huh? Was it Fraser? Yeah. So is it the same thing that, is this the same question? So I'm thinking as you're talking, I'm like, it comes to mind at what point we mimic what our parents did until we realize this isn't right. Is that an accurate statement? Did you get, went through that? Okay. So what. Don Talk: Yeah. Mm-hmm. ⁓ absolutely. Absolutely. Was it the whooping that you recognized, the snap was like, okay, this ain't right, because that's how I was raised, but me doing this ain't right. What was it for you that you started mimicking? Don Talk: You mean that moment or that, okay, when I started, cause that moment, that punch made me not want to do it no more. Honestly, it wasn't like, oh, it wasn't an aha moment, but aha moment is when, you know, I had a parent stand with me and I realized a lot of the flaws that I didn't really care for in myself. seen it and where it, and I seen where it came from. Cause I seen it in that parent. And once you start seeing the once you you start seeing the fault because we know the fault that we have in ourselves. You know, if you if you really understand who you are and you see it and you see your parent do it and you're like, man, I do the same thing. And when I started saying that then and this is recent, man, this is like at the age of 47, you know what I'm saying? No, I tried 45. I started to kind of realize that. And since then, that's the day of my new birth. because I wanted to become better. now, now when it happens, I have to check myself, because now I see it. Nobody hasn't told me that anymore. What about you? I think that brings a point because yeah, it's not even always when you're raising your child in the house and they're a kid. For me, I was going through therapy when I was, know, I'm still going, I need to find another therapist, I'll put it that way. ⁓ But when I was seeing a therapist like a year and a half ago, they had brought some stuff to my attention to where it's like, I saw how... Don Talk: Okay. negative things that I interpreted as a child, I was reinforcing as a parent. Or I was holding back from my daughter because of the past trauma that I didn't realize I was dealing with. So I literally had to sit my daughter down and be like, this is, and this was literally a year and a half ago. It like, I've been doing this all wrong. She stayed with me until... seven months ago. She's always been with me until seven months ago. and so up until like prior to us, you know, her staying and doing her thing, it was, I I came to the realization, like I'm doing this all wrong. So I had to sit her down, apologize to her because I don't want her to end up, we talked about on the, the, Don Talk: Yep. another previous episode about things, the trauma that I'm dealing with, with not being enough from some words that my father said. I didn't realize that. So once I realized that, I had to talk to my daughter. was like, can we have a serious conversation? Have I ever done anything that makes you feel this way, not want you to be close to me? And we've had a conversation and there are some things that, you know, I've tried to force her to do and... Don Talk: Mm-hmm. ⁓ you know, whether it was being a Bible thumping Pentecostal and you got to live this way. And, it did cause us to, to, to veer apart when she was a teenager. And, and I had to apologize for that because I didn't, I didn't realize what I was doing until a year and a half ago. And I swear that conversation. Don Talk: Yeah. We've always been close. She's my ride or die, always. But that conversation changed the complexity of our relationship, too. It's like now, ⁓ that made her stronger. Because I don't know if she realized that I've... Don Talk: Yeah. was remorseful and I approached her about it. wasn't like she came to me about I'm dealing with X, Y, and Z. was like, I realized I wasn't the best parent that I could possibly be and this is why. This is things I know that I did that I tried to force upon you that I saw that now I'm looking back, pulled us apart. And she was grateful that we had the conversation and that opened up communication lines for us to be able to talk more about. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. But that was a vulnerable moment for me to be able to admit that, like as a parent, like I didn't do it right. But it's not too late for me to correct it and do better. Don Talk: That's it. We do the best that we can, We do the best that we can and we're gonna mess up somewhere. You know what I'm saying? As long as we know, as long as we teach our children how to speak up for themselves so we know when we mess up. Sometimes we don't know when we messed up. So hopefully we raise our children to be able to, you know. It's true, it's true, we don't know. Don Talk: First of all, we have to be approachable for our children to be able to come to us to let us know that whatever we said or did affected them. They haven't come through enough and brave enough because it's gonna take a lot to come up to dad. Man, I tell my daughter, said, challenge me, but you better be ready to be challenged too. Because I know that I'm doing the best that I can. And if I'm not doing it right, and you call me out. Right. Right. Yeah. Don Talk: Thank you, because you just made me a better dad. That's, yeah. And that's the thing, it was through therapy that I realized that some of things that my parents said, was still affecting me in a not so good way today. And I had to, number one, come to terms with that. And I had to be like, dang, did I do that with my daughter? Don Talk: Mmm. And I had to sit down and have that conversation. if I, these are things looking back that I know probably could have affected you. I'm sorry for it. Is there anything else? And you know, so we've, we've had to have that conversation. And that was, to me, that was a breakthrough moment, you know? So, and that kind of leads into the next question too. It's like, did your daughter reveal how you as a man still needed to grow? Don Talk: Yeah. all the time, everyday man, everyday. in what way? Don Talk: professionally, you know. ⁓ I would say being able to, I never had an issue with expressing myself. Actually me expressing myself is what got me into a lot of trouble. So, I guess I think one of the big things after having them, at a certain point your kids are gonna see the BS that you try to pull over their eyes. You know what saying? You're gonna see it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Don Talk: I have to tell myself, I got a little bit more time before, you know, before I don't have to fake it no more. You know, a little bit more time before, you know, before she realized, you know, who the crazy parent, who the crazy, you know, because after a while they gonna, they gonna see like, okay, can I see her now? She's looking every time I respond, I see her looking, I see her looking how I respond or, you know, when her mother speak, how I respond to her mother and things like that. So she's looking. So it's causing me to pay more attention to my ⁓ responses to anything that I do. Right? So I'll tell you now, like me, I'm ⁓ I'm a yeller. I'm not a whipper. You know, like, I don't need to, I don't need to, to whoop my kid because my voice alone is a whooping in itself. You know what I'm saying? Right, Mowat. I'm laughing because I don't see it. You don't scare me. Don Talk: Right, right. But it's just like I give them, first of I give my kids facts, but with a voice of God gave us men this voice. Our voices are incredible. They're powerful. Man, we can do so much with our voices, as it relates to our families. You know what I'm saying? We are like, we can make the house shake if we wanted to with our voices. And I don't mean just being loud, just being the things that come out of our mouths. We can come in and change the whole energy of a room. Moms can't, I don't care what anybody say, moms can't do that. Moms just can't walk in and change the energy of the room. Sorry. You know what saying? They can if they start talking about stuff. Yeah. You know what I mean? Respectfully, respectfully, you know? ⁓ But dads, we walk in, you know they had a hard day at work. You know that something isn't right, right? With the energy. And that is a lot of, that's a lot of power and responsibility. Mm-hmm. Does that, that's gonna take us down another path. I don't wanna go too far down it, but like, does it have to be that way? Because we grew up in an age where men were the disciplinarian, right? My mom disciplined us too. mom's whooping more words than my dad's. But my mom loved us in such a ⁓ different way that it was like, Don Talk: Yeah, okay. Yeah It was a different type of reverence, you know? ⁓ The father is the fear. Like it was fearful. Like it was, that's how I see it. Father came in the room, it was fear. Yeah, it was fear. Like pops came in the room, he like, ⁓ shoot. It was fear. Yeah, moms came in the room, it was like. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. Yo, that was, he's still scary, And ⁓ he never said nothing, right? You know, you're like... So I think they both gave a different type of reverence and respect. Where there's fear, there's different type of leadership. There's authoritative leadership, which, you know, like, I'm the dad, you're gonna listen to me and do what I say. That's that. And then you have that leader who leads with love. I think that's a difference to my mom, led with love. Don Talk: Yes. Yes. See, I mean, if you look at it, are you Martin Luther King or are you Malcolm X? You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, and see, I look at it, I don't look at it as I'm dad. I look at it as this is my house, but this is your home. So as the owner of this house, the person who is There you go, there you go. Don Talk: you know, taking care of this house, the person, you know, the owners, me and my wife, as the owners of this house, these are the rules and these, this is how you behave in this house. Had nothing with me doing that. It has to do with maintaining a secure household, loving household, a safe, like I said, safe and secure. So like I said, it's more for me, it's more, it's more of a owner than like owner of the home than Mm-hmm. Don Talk: I'm the dad, have to listen. So in that space of growing up and everything you experienced as a kid, as an adult, like what have women in general, whether it's your daughters, your moms, your sisters, your wife, taught you about ⁓ what kind of man, what kind of man you need to be? Don Talk: We should not get in trouble. You don't give me trouble with this, man, I've been drinking too. What do call it? Truth juice? Don Talk: ⁓ Okay, before I got, there was a question. ⁓ Before we answer that question, can we come back to that question? Right? I mean, but because the question I'm gonna ask, that your question will lead right into that one. Right? I think it was, what is it that a woman said to you that changed the way you see women? Was that the question? I don't think we did. I don't think we asked that question. Like what it was. Yeah, we can come back. We didn't answer that. We didn't ask it or we didn't answer it. Don Talk: I don't think we ask it. Ask it. Ask it. it. A-S-K-E-D. A-S-K-E-D. Like, what, what, do you remember that, that moment? I think you said it was a moment ⁓ that, you know, a woman told you something or said something that changed the way you seen women. That's the next question. See, you're jumping ahead. Is it, which woman in your life challenged you the most and why? That one? Don Talk: ⁓ My bad, you go... I think it was more, what did they say? Not challenge, what did they say that made you look at women differently? That's down the road, man. Don Talk: What? Okay. I wanted to answer that question anyway, man. What is it? Well, let's just jump to it. Don Talk: Okay. Hold on, let's pause. Cause I'm trying to find the right question. ⁓ yeah, I got you. No, no, was phase five. Phase five. ⁓ Was one thing a woman said to you that permanently changed how you showed up as a man? So you wouldn't just jump over everything right to that. Don Talk: It was early in that. Okay. Hmm. Yeah. I don't know. You know, I was feeding because I had an answer written down already. was like, was. And it takes me back because this is this is not therapy. Right. So and I told you probably in previous episodes that when I was 13, I had my first girlfriend. Right. And one thing she told me was and this is the first girl I liked and I was excited and everything. Walking her home. Alright, well come on, let's go. Ugh. Don Talk: You know, and it was a long way home. walked her and right when I before I was about to leave, she says, I like your best friend. Mmm, crushed you. Don Talk: stressed me to this point and that's one thing I remember. At that moment I told myself that that I would never let a woman, you know, break my heart again. So does that mean that you, see now, hold on, hold on. Does that mean you're holding back from your current wife? Don Talk: And... Absolutely. So she's not getting the fullness of who you are because you're afraid. Does she know that? Well, she about to find out. Don Talk: Seeking 80 % Seeking 80 % We talked, but you have to remember this happened when I was younger. even if I wanted to let it go, it's something that I still held on to, right? It's something that I had to, I am learning how to grow out of. You know what I mean? And yeah, ever since that moment, to me, how I seen women was okay, and you still holding on to it. Don Talk: They are going to disappoint me. Cause most of the women in my life, they, you know, from, you know, ⁓ my mom, when she left, you know, when my parents got divorced, they got divorced and you know, I ended up living with my dad. So in my head, my mom left, right in my head, you know, from, you know, my, my, girlfriend telling me when my ex-girlfriend, ex ex ex girlfriend telling me that from other women, you know, growing up being around y'all, I was just like, okay, that's the type of dudes women like. Cause me, I'ma just say it. I think I was the nicest of all the dads. I'ma say it. I was the nicest of all the dads growing up. What that means is I was the most, was the, far as women, I was the one that women would probably run on. You're the nicest. What does that mean? Don Talk: Right? I don't think, I don't think like, you know, they didn't run over y'all. Y'all just, y'all was, y'all had, y'all had, well, for me, from what I seen, mind you, this was, we were kids. We were like, it started around 10. I think we started liking girls, 10, 11, 12, something like that. But we were liking girls. like for me, women were queens. Yes. Whatever you would, it was more whatever you like, whatever I got you, whatever you like. ⁓ Yeah. Don Talk: because I wanted to treat a woman like a queen. eventually what I found, and you know my baby brother, The one who's locked up right now, right? He lived a different type of life, right? And I seen him one day walk up to a woman, professional, and grab her number. And I try to say, hello, how are you? And I get brushed off. You weren't the only one. I still do that to this day. Hey, how you doing? Hey, how you doing? Don't work nowadays. Don Talk: Whoa, No, but see, growing up, you were a kid, all you knew was to treat women nicely. That's all you knew. And it still don't work. this is, look, look, this is what I found. I found, and I'm not saying this is the right thing to do, but it was at one point I was in college and the woman was, she was just going off on me for some reason. And I said, you know what? You need to shut the hell up. Yeah, still treat them nicely. And they don't, yeah, they still don't. Don Talk: I said it was accident, it just kind of came out. And she started laughing at me. Dog! She was like, she was like, she melted. I don't get that. Don Talk: Hey, don't know when that happened, when that happened, that changed the whole way I approach women. So I give them a little bit of this, a little bit of that, a little bit of, and I'm not some thug, a hood, I'm not that, I was raising a hood, you know, but I don't claim to be, but I know how to, I know how to stick up for myself. And ever since then, ever since that set the hell up moment, I said, ⁓ this is what y'all want. This is what, and it's been working up to this point. I don't do it in my marriage. don't tell my wife this. don't, I completely, I just want to put it out there. How did I get to Sean? No, no, no, no. I wouldn't know with her. was different with her. I I'm like this so much and I was scared. I was really, really like, it was a scary moment. Is it? Is that how you got your shine? Don Talk: But then after a while, once I got her phone number, that's the hardest part for me, getting the number. That's the number I'm good, right? So I got the number and I started exercising and just beasting out. And she started seeing me and my white baby, seeing my muscles, you know, the way, and I was hanging around certain types of people. And I was like, got my street card and all that type of stuff. And she liked it. And you know what, you know what, you know what, Don, I'm just a nice guy. You know, I just want... I want all women to be treated like queens, but for some reason when you treat a woman like a queen, when you're dating, when you're treating, you get run over and then you get this other cat who calls them bees and aces and all that type stuff. You ever see these women dancing to these music? Hey, bees and they just groove, man. I'm sitting there like, I am confused, dog. Run over you. Yeah, yeah, that's a whole nother that's a whole nother topic right there. Don Talk: So that's what I wanted to get into. Yeah, that moment, it changed the way that I approach women. I mean, many times changed the way that I treat them. Well, at that time, now, like I said, I've been married for 70 years. Don't get it twisted. You know I'm saying? The woman that I got wants to be treated like a queen, and it's treated like one, because if she wasn't, I guess we'll be divorced right now. Yeah. You said something earlier about your daughter always paying attention to what you're saying. Do you realize why she's paying attention? Don Talk: because you want to call me out. No. She's trying to, I feel, I'm not no expert, I think she's trying to define love. She's remembering every interaction so when she, all she knows and we've experienced this, all you know is mommy and dad. It's all you know. So how mom treats dad is what she sees as love and how dad treats mom is what she sees as love. Don Talk: Okay. So she's clocking and remembering every interaction between you and your wife. So when she starts to have a relationship, she's going to be expected to treat, be treated the way that you treated your son. Don Talk: ⁓ yeah, bet. Now, and I tell her this, said, I said, do not find, I said, if you, know, whenever you get with somebody, don't get with somebody that treats you the way I treat you. Cause you only have one dad. So don't try to get that. You get someone to treat you the way I treat your mama. Look at the way I treat your mama. That's what you want. You don't want the, Yeah. Don Talk: If you try to find a guy that treats you the I do, you will be highly disappointed because he ain't your dad. Yeah. Right. Because you've been doing something right for 17 years. You've been doing something right. Don Talk: You know, you know what I'm saying? I can't talk about the godly marriage. You know, we engage in activities that... No. So, and this is sidebar. would say that marriage is undefiled in the bed. Ay ay ay ay ay Don Talk: So I own, like I said, I own some land, like right down the street from my house, right? Oh, my daughter got me this. When I bought my first piece of land, she bought me this shirt for Father's Day. But yeah, so we went down to the land, right? It's like two acres right down the street. Got in the truck, went to the woods, and I'm telling you, if any... ⁓ I couldn't tell from your shirt. I couldn't tell. ⁓ okay. Dope. That's dope. Don Talk: point in time in your life, right? You with somebody, if you want to have unlimited sex all the time, go to the woods. Hey, hey, it it is, it is researched, it is there. For some reason, once you get out in the woods, you will stand as tall as them trees, It's something out, it is something out there in the air when you're around all them trees. Okay. mean, was... Don Talk: And I'm telling you, I think in one day, in one day, in one night, I think I went at least, and this is not in my 20s, this is while, you know, in my 40s, the 40s, five times in one night while I'm in the woods. Nah, I don't think I'm gonna it in one more, man. Go to the woods, go to the woods. Hey, I'm telling you, you With no peel. Just go to the woods. Don Talk: Yeah, you think I'm playing, anybody out there go to the woods. can, you Adam, Adam and even man, Adam and even I'm telling you it is, ⁓ man, you know, I think I'm to go tonight with this to go, you know, you know, shrinkage and all. All right, y'all heard it here first. I have to remember that for when my time come back around. Don Talk: telling you, you know, hopefully, hopefully we have everything, you know, like whenever you guys decide to come, I'm going, and we're trying to build a little house for us on this, on this wooden lot. Cause I'm going to put, I'm going to a fence, I'm going put a fence around it and we're going to walk butt naked on the field. All right, we're going. ⁓ Bye. ⁓ Moving on. ⁓ Don Talk: marriage marriage marriage is cool if you let it you know what saying Oh, if you got the right person, 100%. 100%. All right. So that's a great combo. I'm not trying to... We could joke and laugh, but that was truth. There was truth in that. There was truth in that. I'm not denying that. I got to go to the woods one of these days. All right. So... Don Talk: ⁓ yeah, yeah, no problem. Yeah, yeah, it's all good. All right, what about you, man? Question right back at you. Anything a woman said that make you kind of change the way you see them. I believe I have the utmost respect for black women. Like, there's no other way to say it. The utmost respect for black women. And I believe the true power in life is in the tongue of a black woman. That's my belief. I believe they can destroy you. Or they could make you, like you said earlier, they could destroy you, they could make you Popeye. They can make you the strongest man he man, Popeye, can make you strongest person on earth. Just by the, how they say certain things and what they say. I was married once before and the thing that comes, the thing that destroyed me was, you know, not having that partnership to like, be vulnerable enough to know when I'm struggling and when I'm going through something. I remember going through just having a tough time at work and life and I'm at home. Like there's two situations that come to mind. I'm at home, like at my desk and I'm literally like this, just trying to like, just trying to figure it out. You know, just trying to wrap my mind around what's going on, what I need to do, what's my next move. At the time my wife at the time walks by a room and sees me and just starts berating me like if you don't get your fucking ass up and act like a man and quit moping around this motherfucker like just like Went in I'm just like Beat a nigga right down, you know, that that's Don Talk: Hmm. That changed me. another situation with that individual was when I at work and we lived probably like 45 minutes away from my job. I got off early, came home and took a nap. And we decided that like, okay, my nights to cook are these two nights and hers were these two nights. She had a full-time job. She was nursing and... I came home, I got home early. It's my night to cook, but I got home early. I was tired to the moll, so I was like, took a nap. and, the, I interpreted it as it being purposeful because I didn't have, like, you know, say women want, you know, men want women to have their meal cooked when they get home. I guess she was expecting that because it was my night to cook. I was going to do it. I just needed a quick little nap. She must have got home early herself. And instead of like making sure the door, our bedroom door was closed and her doing whatever. Don Talk: Alright. door wide open, she clanging and banging stuff in the kitchen, making as much the loudest noise possible to wake me up out of spite because stuff wasn't ready when she got home. And it was like, those two things was like, like, can we rest? Like that strikes another, to this day. Don Talk: Hmm. When can we rest? So now I'm hesitant to show those type of emotions in front of someone because that led to you yelling at me, me trying to figure out life, me going through whatever I'm going through at that time was work, you know, not going away. It should be going led me to the point of like you yelling at me and like kicking me while I'm down. Me trying to get some rest because life is just hard. I need a little nap before I get back and get back into my duties. Don Talk: Yeah. those instances like told me that I can't be that person. I gotta find the right person to be that around. I'll put it that way. Say I can't be it. But that, I think that still affects me because I'm hesitant to be yourself. I'm hesitant to be myself. I'm hesitant to rest, hesitant to show vulnerability because... Don Talk: Yeah. My past has told me that it's going to come back at me in a negative way. So I think those things change me I'm trying to break through that because the right person will understand that. ⁓ I believe and I don't know if it's just my detriment, but I live and breathe off everything a black woman says. The right woman. Don Talk: All You know, so they could, they could encourage you. And this is the thing is someone that's trying to help you can actually hurt you more than you realize. Because like if, if someone has a helping spirit and they're just trying to help you and everything they're trying to help you in is you're interpreting as you have been doing it wrong. So now you internalize, I haven't done nothing right. Don Talk: Mmm. So dang, can I ever do anything right in this woman's eyes? That can destroy you. So it's like, I think women have a lot of pressure that they don't understand how their words affect a man. And that's what I like, part of us doing this is helping them understand. Are we 100 % right? Are we perfect? No. But this is just some insight into like, We all have to be careful how we say things. And I think I'm a person that believes that the power of life and death is in the woman's tongue. And they can uplift you, they can destroy you. And they can make you... I saw this one Instagram post by this girl. This girl said, I let my man know everything he do is amazing. Don Talk: Absolutely. If he fart, ⁓ your fart smells so good. you know, like, it was kind of facetious, but it was the truth behind that. If like, if you pour that into a man, he gonna make sure your life is the best life you ever had. Like, and then now, and now how do you give constructive criticism? I've seen another woman say that, I'ma let him fail. Don Talk: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. You doing your job, he doing his. He's right until he fails and I'm not going to berate him when he fails. I'm just like, okay, now what's next? How do we get out of it? And she's still going to be there to encourage him and lift him up and make sure that he's doing what he needs to do. So his confidence is at an all time high to ensure that she's not destroying him in the process of helping him. You know, so yeah, I think those, those instances are some that, that kind of changed how... Don Talk: right. how a woman has affected me in the... to like watch how I be around other women. it's not, I'm saying this right, I just, I don't know if I've gotten over it. Don Talk: It doesn't matter, although we've been through a lot, you know, as it to being in relationships. It's all a gamble, I mean, I've seen people get divorced after 30, 40, 50 years of marriage. Yeah. Don Talk: You know what saying? And it's all about how you see marriage. You know what saying? I see marriage, I'd say, well, I see marriage as a stock market. The longer you marry, the better your stock. Yeah, you said that. Don Talk: You know what So as long as I stay married, my stock could go up and I become more and more desirable like this empty glass of wine. is, but okay, you can stay married. But are you happy? Don Talk: I don't know. So there was a video, and I wish I may add a link to this when we drop this. There's a video of this interviewee asking this lady, oh, you've been married for so long. she's like, yeah, man, she's great. And then instead of him asking her, she happy, he asks, is he happy? And she's like dumbfounded. Don Talk: She said, yes, because they don't know. Because she's like, no one's ever asked that question. Is the man happy? You know, I hate that saying, happy wife, happy life. I hate that. Because it totally destroys anything the man is going through and his feelings. It doesn't matter what he's going through. The only concern and care is her, which destroys men's mental health. Don Talk: Hey. ⁓ Yeah, Happy spouse, happy house. Happy spouse, happy house, that goes both ways. Yeah. Don Talk: Well, that's for the man version. That's the man version. Happy styles, happy hours. know? But, I mean, we go through, I mean, you've been married before. There's periods of, you know, you've been happy, you've been unhappy. You know, there's periods of that, you know? But once you see that, like, I'm a result of, like, parents being together and being divorced. Right? And what I know of this is this. What I know, what I... as far as my experience, that people are, it takes a while, people can last, can stay in unhappiness for a while, right? You can be unhappy for a long time. Then you have that period of, that moment of happiness, then you have, know, so it all depends on what you are willing to take or what you are willing to, Yeah, what you're willing to take. Now I asked people who were divorced. I said, you can do it all over again, would you? They said, yep. And I wouldn't get divorced. I wouldn't leave. I'll just hold it. I'll just wait because I know eventually it's going to get better. Talk to people who are divorced and not, not the ones who remarry. Don't talk to them. Right. Because obviously there's something different, but the people who are divorced, ask them, would you go back if you had the chance? There you go. There's a question put in the chat. Would you go back? if you now that you know I've met, that's a good question. And I met this lady a couple of weeks ago and she literally, she's older than me. She was married for 20 something years, got a divorce. And she said she never wants to get married again. I didn't ask her will she go back and do it over, but I asked her will she marry again and she said no. It was different. Don Talk: Okay. Okay. ⁓ well see that's different. Have you asked me if I will? ⁓ yeah. Yeah. Who said it before? It was mother of the king wife, Miss Coretta Scott, right? You know, she, they asked her and that's exactly what she said. That's exactly what she said. She said, because he was a... ⁓ that's a hard act to follow now, come on. But they didn't get a divorce. They didn't divorce. Don Talk: Right, but if they would, she says she wouldn't remarry because he is a hard act to follow. You know what saying? Like if you ask me, hey man, would you remarry if you got divorced? I don't know, man, because I put in work, man. It's hard to get a divorce once you put in work, like with the kids, like with multiple kids, with multiple homes, with all this type of stuff. Yeah. Don Talk: It ain't honestly, it don't have anything to do with how much stuff you, not for me, you know what saying? Because if I get divorced, you take it all. Give me my wallet, I can do it all over again. I don't need, no, just give me, all I need is my wallet. You can take everything else. My divorce would be the easiest divorce there is. You know what I'm saying? Because I know my worth and I know that I'm a good catch because I met a lot of husbands. Give me my TV and my surround sounds. That's all I need. Don Talk: And a lot of husbands don't do what I do. And I probably talk a good game and talk what I talk and everything is true. But you know what I also put in work with my family. Yeah. Don Talk: So I meant when it comes to TI, the rapper, he said something interesting. He was like, well, it's not about how much money you have because I've seen a whole lot of people with a lot of money. He said, wealth is about the priceless, the priceless assets, the, the pretty much the things that are priceless in your life. How, how much, how many things that you have that are priceless in your life, right? I have my family, right? I have my wife, I have my children, I have my health, I have my sanity, right? These, all of this is priceless, right? So, I don't know where I was going with that. I don't know, but like you're making all the sense in the world. So I'll say this. This has been a great, great combo. I'm going to end off with how has a woman, I'm going to say my daughter affected me to be a better person. That's the, I don't think that's the thing. How do women make you better? And in this case is my daughter. To this day, she's 25 years old, about to turn 26 in March. And to this day, I strive to be a better person because of her. She, despite everything that she's been through, she's been through a lot, like we said before. I don't know if we talked about it before, she had an aneurysm that burst at the age of five. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. She was hospitalized. She open brain surgery. So she, the doctor told her at the age of 14, when she's very aware of what's going on in life that you're going to have another aneurysm, it's just a matter of time. And I'm still pissed off to this day that the doctor said that in front of her. Tell me that without her in room. So she's living with this, this fear that at any day life can change. And now she's developed. seizures that if she's overstimulated she'll start seizing. Don Talk: Mm-hmm. But this, you talking about the happiest, joyful person I've ever met. Like despite everything she's been through, she is the happiest person I've ever seen in my life. She is the most joyful. it's, it's to the, sometimes it's like to the point where it's like, girl, can you tone it down? But it's like, I can't say that because like, like I wish I had that. Don Talk: Right? Absolutely, absolutely, man. You know, and maybe she does an amazing job at hiding the fact of when she's down. But this girl has, she has the energy that I would just want to pour into the bottle and drink because like she is amazing. She's teaching me to have that joyfulness in life regardless of what's going on. She's teaching me to be a better man because like. I deserve to be a better man and I deserve what life has in store, but I can't let the negativity destroy that. And she's a prime example of like, life's going to throw you some curve balls. And it's a matter of, are you going to drown in it? Or are you going to be excited about, all right, this is life. I'm going to kick it in the ass. And she is kicking in the ass. Don Talk: Yeah. Every day we talk, it's a blessing. And she's teaching me. And she don't realize she's going to hear this, and she's probably going to cry. Because I need to say this to her too, more often. She's amazing. So that woman. I can't even say girl. She's always gonna be daddy's little girl. But that woman right there, every time I talk to her, makes me a better person. In my mind, I know what she's been through. When I'm talking to her, as I see her, I see the girl in the hospital with tubes up all over her. Like IV, hair shaved from the open brain surgery. That's when I see her. She just, she's living life joyfully, happy, and is killing it. So. Don Talk: Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself. which means it's pretty much be who you choose to be. You don't have to find yourself. You're right in front of there. You're right there. Be who you choose to be. If you want to be a person that's madly in love, okay, there's always a chance that your heart will get broken. Always. There's a chance. There's a chance. Even with... Always. You could walk into her cheating, even though she ain't tell you she'd be cheating for the past. Don Talk: Yeah, right. Right, right. No, but you're absolutely right because we don't know. Like you just said about your daughter, man, at any point something can happen. Same thing in any one of our situations. So what you scared of, that right there, you have it right there, a prime example. Ha ha ha! You said you didn't want to know. Don Talk: I ain't talking about you as a world, I'm talking about you as a mic, right? What are you afraid of when you have a daughter that's right there showing you that you can still live, but also being aware of, yeah, things can happen. But she didn't stop. She's not talking about, let me go talk to the doctor or let me go talk to the person, maybe go, no, she's living. And I seen her, she had really good energy, You know what I'm saying? So yeah, you ain't got no excuse at all. You have no excuse right now. You got a powerhouse of a daughter right there showing you that anything, anything is possible if you want it to be. If you don't, you don't give every other reason, you don't give every excuse why you ain't doing something. You Don Talk: Don't be a coward. Even though I know you not. Let me trade. Yeah, yeah. I need to hear regardless. You have words I need to hear regardless, so I hear you. With that said, Daron, I'm not even gonna, you know, that was the mic drop right there. Don Talk: All right, so what I want to say is, I probably said this before, but I can't remember it. So this is coin that I keep, right? It's a coin, right? And anytime I'm meeting with any one of my clients, right? ⁓ I let them know that there are two sides to every coin. Most often, we only look at one side, the bad, what's going wrong? What's wrong with me? You know, I need to this, I need to do that. But the other side, I got good health, I got friends. I got a job, I got money. Now, are we completely happy? No, but at least we're balanced and we're able to make better choices when we're balanced, when we can see both sides of the coin. So I just encourage everyone, see both sides of the coin. coin drop baby And with that, we appreciate y'all tuning in. Until next time, we'll holla. This is Don Talk. Truth, real men, real talk, realness. We out. Don Talk: Yes, sir.