Latest / The Bridges and Beacons Podcast / Becoming an Awakened Achiever with Kristy Kilduff

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Becoming an Awakened Achiever with Kristy Kilduff · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Mystic Nerd Squad Podcast.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Kelly Meyerson.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: I call myself the original Mystic Nerd.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Just geeking out with you on science, spirituality, and all things serving humanity.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Today, my guest is Chrissy Kildeff and we.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I tell you guys all the time, I can't even help myself.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited for these conversations.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I have to make myself stop and press record so that you can participate with us in this.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: But today we're gonna have an amazing conversation.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: I hope it will be transformational for you.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna learn some tips and tricks.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: And most importantly, at the end of the podcast, I'm gonna make sure we talk about all the ways you can connect with Christy and you're gonna realize why very shortly.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: But before we begin, let me tell you a little about Christy.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and her Instagram handle is Awakened Achiever.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So if you heard that and your curiosity was piqued like mine, let's find out why.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here we go.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Awakened Achiever was born out of an acute understanding that while we as women are told we can have it all and do it all, it is rarely that simple.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: In our pursuit of a fulfilling career that we juggle in between school drop-off lines and household commitments, we find ourselves making concessions to our personal well-being, relationships, or ambitions.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: We try to navigate it all, but find ourselves overwhelmed by a world that rarely supports it all.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Our mission is to radically change this.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: We are empowering women with a different way of being.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to choose between excelling in your career and being fully present at home.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: You can find alignment and succeed in all areas of your life with the right tools and support.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: A life of clarity, alignment, and ease is within reach.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Christy, I feel like you just calmed the room down and told everybody, yes, these are all the barriers, but there is a way.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome, first of all.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad to have you.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Kelly.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be here.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, how did this start for you?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think oftentimes we come in the middle or like towards the end of somebody's journey through well-being, growth, career, all of these things.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very common, as as I was reading, it's a very common experience for people to want to have it all and do it all.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: And suddenly you hit a point where you're like, I cannot without certain things in place.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when did that happen for you?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so Awakened Achiever essentially began um from my own acute need for it.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I went through a really, really difficult year in my career and balancing my family.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have three really young kids.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: They are seven, five, and three.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I am definitely in the thick of it.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I realized that this was something that I deeply needed and worked on myself, and I can talk more about the how and that.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then as I felt myself getting more clarity, as I found myself finding more calm, as I found myself more present with my family and with my friends and focused in a healthy way at work, I turned around and noticed that my friends and my coworkers and my colleagues all were having really, really similar struggles as I was.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I think this is something that more people need.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I help build a community that supports this?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like that this is just so necessary.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that's where it came from was really like my own deep work, and I'm still working for sure.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then turning around and saying, I think that this is something that a lot of other people need, and together we will be better, and together we will rise through this.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I love that so much because I think one common thread that you'll often hear from women is how alone they feel and how they just don't have the community, the support.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we're really operating in a different time than previous generations in terms of the pace, the expectations, the technology, all of those things.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: So there just isn't necessarily a pathway to follow.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Has that been your experience?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think I did get really lucky at different moments in my life.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I, for the last 20 years, have been a very ambitious person.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I have focused on my career.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: I have focused on, you know, moving up the ladder.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been able to do that really successfully, truthfully.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but a lot of that was because I had female leaders next to me through it.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, they pulled me up in a way that both supported my career ambitions and then also was very supportive of my my personal life.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I had a really big career development at the time that I was giving birth to three kids.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I know that this isn't always the norm, right?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: But me growing my family actually did not stunt my ability to continue to grow.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it was because my direct manager was also a working mom and was also someone who was in the same struggles and she understood and she heard me and she validated me and she made space for me.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so that was beautiful, right?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it was, and it really helped me.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um it was when I moved to a different company and sort of that dynamic changed, and the, you know, and the the pressures and the company itself changed, but uh I no longer had a female leader.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and things really, really changed in that moment um where I found that I needed to like build that space again.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to build that community, and I needed to do it bigger than just me and my, me and my direct manager.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure the listener is resonating hopefully with having a manager and a leader who understands the the value of supporting women who are both growing a career and raising a family.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And those seem like such neat little, you know, checklist, to-do list, things that you have to do, but balancing all of that is tremendously challenging.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It is, you know, I think something that I've learned that I have to maybe educate some of my peers with at time as a as a leader in in an organization is my day doesn't start at 9 a.m., right?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: My day starts at 6 a.m., getting, you know, myself ready, hopefully, and then getting my three kids dressed, getting them fed, getting their lunches packed, getting um, you know, them on the bus, dropped off at daycare, whatever it may be.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then I come back and then I'm okay, like I need a cup of coffee, I need something to eat, and then I'm, you know, then I'm getting to work.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then at the time when people are able to like shut their computer and turn off, I actually go into my probably harder moment of the day, which is pickup and dinner and the craziness before bedtime and baths and getting them to bed.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm exhausted, right?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um, maybe I have an hour to myself, maybe I'm getting back on my computer because there's more that I need to do, right?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it it it's it's like this if you if you're not experiencing it, it's hard to relate and to understand.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, it's just so validating and it's so helpful when you do have people around you and you in whether it's a leader, whether it's a community, whatever it may be, that are like, I see you, I see that that's hard.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I experience the same thing.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And like, here's how, here's how I'm feeling about it.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: I can remember, I can remember different phases of having that in in my career as well, where like being a single person and being able to, if I wanted to flex and spend an extra three hours on work things, I would do that.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then going through the experience of having a newborn, going back to work after a few months and trying to get like being a mom and having a career to mesh together was really not a natural step for me.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I made so many mistakes and I was exhausted, burned out, sleep deprived, probably for a couple of years before I could really get my equilibrium.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: But the one thing I will say that got me through was having a lot of working moms around me in my job who would be able to tell me, Yep, I've been through that.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna get better, give me a hug, grab me a cup of coffee when I was just really struggling.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's how I made it through with a community of working moms.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I was fortunate enough that at the time that I had my son, we had childcare in the building, which we still had to pay for.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: But that being able to bring my son to work with me, especially in the beginning when he wouldn't take a bottle.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: So like I could pause and go feed him because he would only eat with me.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And when he was home with my husband, he would wait until I came home.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: So like I totally appreciate those challenging experiences where you're you're trying to work and keep your child alive.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Some days it feels like that's the hardest thing you have to do.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember like literally, and you know, I was very lucky to work at a company that had uh rooms for breastfeeding moms as an example, right?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I would have to um like cut off my meeting short or like block my calendar so people wouldn't book me during that time so that I could go into the rooms, the, you know, the lactation rooms or whatever, and I could, you know, keep my supply up, get the milk for my baby.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that was hard to juggle and people didn't really understand it.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: But the positive is I had other women in there with me at the same time, right?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we would talk and we would talk about work things and we would still be able to, you know, women are the best multitaskers, um, but we would literally be pumping and still talking through meetings that we needed to have or whatever.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just natural and it was organic.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, we had conversations about like how hard this is and how much you struggle.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: But so you have that element of it.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then you put on like, as a high achieving woman, there are also higher expectations, like I need to travel, I need to go to client visits, I need to go to off-sites, I need to go to conferences, and how do I do that?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one at that point in my life when I'm how do I how do I store the milk?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: How do I send it back?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then now, with you know, I don't I'm I'm past that stage, but it's okay, can my husband take on the childcare for a week?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how how fair is it for me to allow that, you know, not allow, but you know, have to do that multiple times a quarter?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know dads have been doing this for centuries, but it still feels like um different, you know, just in terms of, to your point, like societal norms and and what how our generations have evolved and what are our expectations now versus moms previously.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but those are the things that I'm thinking about even now.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like, how do I balance all of that, make my kids feel like I'm still spending enough time with them, um, that they feel safe and loved and that I'm present and that I'm not rushing through books because I need to get back to my computer, and that I'm not giving a bath but on my phone responding to Slack messages, which by the way I was doing all of 2024, which is part of what caused this like awakening for me.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it was super unhealthy.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and how do I like maintain those boundaries to make sure that I am present with my family and still and focused on myself and making sure I'm whole and happy, um, and then also can show up as the best version of myself for my work.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a lot.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: A lot.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a lot, and you know, and I think that's where a lot of women would either like sacrifice themselves or um sacrifice their relationships, um, go into an incredible amount of debt by just like sourcing out everything they can, um, or just decide to abandon their career.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think those four things and probably a myriad of more you know dark turns that that life can take for women who want to both have a fulfilling career and have a family that they're not just you know paying somebody to take care of all the time, which I'm also not judging.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: I should say that at the outset.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody has their own way of functioning.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so what do you think are maybe two to three things that are like you you hold to those no matter what because it keeps that balance for you?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's something that I'm I have been learning and evolving with.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's still a practice for sure.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I think like, and in all of the things that you described, I for me, the biggest thing was I like lost myself.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I was um putting myself last.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And how that came up for me was like a constant state of anxiety, a constant state of like dread in my chest.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was in fight or flight constantly.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like um I was, it was just like my stress response was constantly on.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't, I couldn't ease.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: I remember it was like a Friday, I was going out to dinner with my family, and I was, again, texting and slacking for work at like seven o'clock at night, right?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so not only was I not present, but me, my body, my body was like um so stressed, not at ease.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I realized I really needed to do, and this was me starting to get deeper into my own like just wellness um was really, well, one was meditation um and making sure that I was, and it's hard, I think it's hard to stay every day, but like as much as I could, I was really saying, you know what, like my I can't stop my brain.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: My brain is just constantly go, go, go, go, go.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I've learned is because I am wired, you know, in an ambitious way, I go to my head a lot.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what I need to learn is go to my heart and balance that and come back to myself when I feel my brain going, going, going, going, going, spiraling.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's the ego, right?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: The ego is based out of fear.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I am being really intentional with how can I come back to my body.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times that is meditation, right?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that is slowing down.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: I used to listen to meditation podcasts, um, guided meditation on my way from drop, like dropping off my kids to picking up my coffee to coming home before opening up my computer.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that was like a really important ritual that I did probably every day for a follow like solid six months.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's something that I incorporate more into just like, you know, before bed, maybe, or first thing waking up.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that's one thing.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing, and it's it's actually more of like a mindset that I've changed, is I happen to work in an, you know, in an environment that is like chaos, for lack of a better way to say it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like the you move the the culture is move fast, break things, you know, fix it, but the what that causes is just a lot of thrash.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a lot of, and as a leader, there's a lot of change management I need to do around that constantly, which is just it can be difficult, right?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh I have found that um I need to change my mindset constantly every day, because as a definitely recovering um person who looks for approval, and I've learned that about myself is that a lot of my ambitiousness and and working at it's it was based off of also needing other people's approval, specifically in work, is I need to change my mindset and that um I can only control so much, I can only control my reactions, I cannot control that an initiative is going to change 180 from one day to the next, or that I'm gonna be thrown in another challenge, or that I'm gonna be told I need to execute on XYZ in an unreasonable amount of time, as an example.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can only change the way that I'm responding, the way that I'm absorbing it, and the way that I am or am not seeking some sort of validation externally.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I am sure there are so many people who can resonate with that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think at least for me, growing up, I felt like achievement was so important.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like that, it was about hitting all these mile markers, you know, and so I did all those things.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: I worked hard.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was 16 and I was like, while it seemed like everybody else was just having a good time and like embracing high school life and more freedom.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I need to do my homework, I need to do a good job, I need to work really hard, I need to get good grades, I need to get into college, I need to make a good career, I need to make sure like I'm executing on all of these things, and I put a lot of pressure on myself.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even know where that pressure came from.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I can't even say, I mean, my parents for sure, like any parents, wanted to see me do well and do my best.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And but I don't feel like I came home and they were like, let me check your grades.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: They were, if anything, they saw that I had it canceled.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: I like I joked, like my parents really stopped parenting me and stopped like micromanaging me very young because I was the oldest child and I took everything very seriously.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: So they were like, we don't need to like overdo it with her.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: She's got this down.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I, you know, hitting a lot of those mile markers.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I literally met someone and got engaged as I was finishing my uh internships and getting ready to take my boards to pass my exam and have a career and doing that all at the same time.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Fast forward a few years and life was a mess, you know, not career-wise.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Career-wise, it was fine.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I married somebody that had a lot of trouble and a lot of problems.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I did not have the skill set or the mindset to to figure out what to do with that.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I really believed that the achievement and having the thing was more important than how I was experiencing life.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it took crashing through all of that and what felt like starting from scratch for me.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and definitely had to do that a few times with different things, health crisis, job crisis, you know, over time to finally get to a point where I see you're at now realizing like your responsibility is only ever to you and your reaction and how you manage it.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is so huge, it can't be understated because you're right.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure yours is not the only industry where the expectation is high level all the time, fast, quick change management.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And some organizations do it well and some don't.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think I appreciate the position that you're in where it's not only managing your own change, but you're responsible for a team and for other people and for helping them to maintain that psychological safety through change.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do you do that?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: What are some of the practices that you use as a leader to manage through change?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think like I have been thinking about, you know, what do I like as a leader?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like what has helped me come to where I am, right?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are my strengths?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because I feel like I've been told very often that, you know, I come across as confident and assertive and um decisive.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I've realized recently is I think that's true, you know, there's an element of it for sure, but there's also an element of me just being like uh kind of going back to what you were saying around like as a kid, what sort of led you to be so um ambitious and driven is for me, it was this like need for, again, the need for approval, but like maybe like actually lower self-confidence than I've ever allowed myself to understand because I've always been like, no, I'm confident, I got it.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but really what was more underneath the surface is this person that is maybe less self confident than I than I show, and I'm looking for that validation, right?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: So when what makes me maybe a good leader to like work through this change management is this, I think it's like this inherent understanding.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Of what do people need?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do people, how do they need to feel in situations?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really big on like making people feel heard when I'm working with them, right?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I'm going through something like a big change management as an example, there's a lot of questions that come up.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of fears around what does this mean for me and my job?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of what I do as a leader is actually look, I will give you the like, this is why this is good for a business, the business.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is like how we're gonna help you get from A to Z.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: But also like walk me through what are your concerns?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let me hear you, let me hear that, let me hear your individual experience.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't want to be the leader that's so separated from people.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: I want to actually hear it.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then I have a conversation where I validate, yes, this is this is like you're right in your experience, but here's why I think you'll also be okay.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: And here are the things that we're gonna do.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's a lot of that.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think where that comes from and why I'm so good on the one-to-one is because it's something that I know that like I innately need as well.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I bring that to my people management all the time.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: I wish more leaders did that because I think sometimes that's where things really fall apart, where people are having this like very difficult individual experience.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the the pace that we're trying to get through the change, we assume that it's better to avoid wasting time, you know.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and uh that's where I'm like, I think that's where we get it wrong sometimes, not giving people the chance to express their feelings because not that are we're responsible for people all feeling great about it, but in some ways we kind of are, because the more we're all feeling like this is possible and we're energized behind this, then that's the faster we go.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: We really slow down when we're still trying to shift people into the perspective of this is gonna work.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: They're still dragging there.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's not really gonna go faster if we just pretend like everybody is got it and and we can just keep going.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, organizationally, we would call that buy-in, right?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like what I call it is more people feeling safe.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: And and and when people feel safe and when they feel like you know, we're not out to get them, their leaders aren't out to get them, they feel like they can show up more truly as themselves.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and ultimately you get better outcomes from that as well.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I agree with you so much.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is like one of like the hot button issues for me when I see it going terribly wrong because we're not managing people's psychological safety and not resourcing people enough or or highlighting the resources.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you're in a state of fight or flight and you feel incapable, you don't you don't see what's there for you, what's going to work.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that what you're doing is allowing people to express how they're feeling about it, validating them that it's completely normal for people to feel like I can't do this when something is majorly going to change because we like equilibrium.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: It feels good to feel capable.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then fitting in, like, here's why this is gonna work out.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is such an amazing leadership skill that you have.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it sounds like you're probably such a light in a stressful moment because what we really want to feel is like I can do this.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you're not falsely giving people that toxic positivity of like, let's rally together, let's do this.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're legitimately giving people the skills, the resources, the validation, the capability of moving forward because that's how we do it.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that is exactly right.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what's been like enlightening to me is that all of these things that I've been doing in the workplace, I have realized that all of these other women in my life, they need the same thing, maybe in a different format.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: So everything that you just said, right?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like the validation that it's okay to feel this way, that it's normal, right?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're not alone.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just so healing.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it allows people to show up as their best self, really, you know, when you feel like you are not alone, when you feel like you are not going crazy, when you feel like there are others that are in a similar situation, and give people the moment and the time and the space to like reflect in that and um just be a better version of themselves.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really my aha moment is that this this stuff that I was doing at work naturally because I felt I needed it, right?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like that I I knew that I needed it.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: I had my own tumultuous year, right?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is this really something that is much bigger than oh yeah.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, it's so big.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's so big.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that's where it gets to be a lot of fun and kind of exciting to branch out.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I don't know about you, but I feel like going through the pandemic and COVID, people became very separate, very like pulled back into their own lives and a very lonely time.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was fortunate enough at that time to really connect with a lot of people online in the virtual world, writers and healers, and you know, people who were similarly minded that I was in wanting to really serve the planet and do good things in the world.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but for a lot of people, they were lonely and also boundaries were super challenging when you were trying to do work, school, um, and function as a family through COVID.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, do you think some of that also played into our communities and to women who were, you know, I don't know how we did it.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: We just we did it and we have room to grow.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: My second um child, my son, uh my last day of maternity leave was April 1st, 2020.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I was a, you know, just trying to get back into the swing of work, obviously when the world was completely shutting down and changing.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what that also meant was to your point on like the boundaries, there was a lot that you could do is like I literally couldn't even put him or my older into daycare.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I was trying to like get back into working again with these two kids home all the time.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: And thankfully, you know, my husband is is here with me and we were both working from home.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we were able to like manage that.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I do think that there was this like maybe how I would have built my village as as I became a mom of multiple kids, like it it was just cut off.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, I I still I would talk over Zoom for a lot of meetings, so I was seeing people, but I wasn't getting that like in-person connection that um, you know, I remember with my first um, I would go for like stroller walks, right?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or we would go and like get together on some play dates.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then that just like didn't exist for a long time.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know what?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're right.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: There was an element of like we changed and we haven't really fully come back again from that.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we need to, and we need to be intentional about that because we we need to change the way that we as a society are showing up for each other overall.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of that comes with heart-to-heart connections in person.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is a great time to talk about some of the things that you've been doing.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I know the listener is probably wondering like, Christy, just tell me, how did you start?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: What did you do?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: How did you create from scratch a community that was really getting into that place of giving to ourselves and feeling connected to others?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I will, I guess, first say like there was a lot of self-doubt, right?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and a lot of second guessing myself, even though I felt so strongly and so certain about this need and that that what I wanted to just bring and build, there was still a lot of my own, again, I guess going back to like I was seeking some sort of validation.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's um, it's hard, it's not an easy thing to do.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess just to say like that's real, and if people feel it, even if on the outside it looks like, hey, everything's going great, there is still that like internal struggle.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think I just really leaned in on the things that like I felt and what I needed.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: And when I followed that, when I follow the things that like lit me up and made me feel better and feel like, oh, okay, I've taken some intentional time for myself, right?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm connecting with others at the same time.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: That like when you follow the things that like light you up, it it works.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and other people will find you, the people are meant to find you.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I did like a vision board workshop because that was something that I had done for myself.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: I made a vision board for 2025.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are the things that I want to feel?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want to see?
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want to do?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we had the best time, like not only just building the vision board, but we talked about like why.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: What are the whys of the things that you put on your board?
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you trying to do?
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: What are you feeling?
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we've done um things like sound baths where it's really around again, like calming our nervous systems and taking, taking a deep breath after a long day, and then afterwards sharing like how we were feeling and who who do we want to be when we came back to our family after this, as an example.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, it was really just like following the path that um I felt really strongly called towards and the things that were lighting me up, and the people are coming, and and and it's and it's really because it's a big need.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think it's important to say out loud like there has been a lot of self-doubt.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: There has been a lot of like one really powerful thing that I realized is that I am trying to build this community in the same way that I've always seen success before, right?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that means like go, go, go, quick, quick, quick, fast, fast, fast.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: But that is the antithesis to what I am trying to actually build.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I need to build a community in a way that is sustainable, that is feels peaceful, that feels calm, that feels rooted in like safety.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so if I'm not gonna find success the same way that I did before, right?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a different way.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that has been like a huge like aha moment for me.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I resonate so much with so much of that.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I also think the the skills that have served you as a leader for sure serve you in creating a community of people.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like one of your strengths is really understanding the needs of the whole and not just your own needs as a person.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh, yeah.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's that's because I'm like also just like naturally curious um and care about how other people feel like I think you're right, you know, it's something where if I'm in a conversation with you, I actually want to like really hear um and deeply understand and am naturally curious.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what that lends to is me um like in these dynamics, like really hearing what people are feeling, what they want, what they're thinking, and it makes it such a more authentic experience and good for everybody walking away from it.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I can imagine, as you know, an employee and a leader at work, it's also helping your skills there and recognizing that need for connection at work.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just assuming taking a big leap there, but guessing that that's what's happening for you too.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that my entire evolution that I've had and let's call it the last 18 months has made me such a better leader because when I am calmer, when I am grounded, when I am focusing on my reactions, it makes the experience of everybody else that much better.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I can show up as a better leader when I'm not in a constant state of uh fight or flight.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and yes, I am thinking more about people's holistic wellness.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about like, how are you feeling?
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like have you have you taken your vacation that you need?
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's a very simple um example, but you know, thinking holistically about them and not just the output that they're providing.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that that is so huge.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just funny to me.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like when people are like, oh, I forgot to take vacation.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, um, how does that happen exactly?
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: I need to understand because I I'm like one of those people that, you know, it it re-ups in January and I'm planning like my entire year.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, when am I taking my PTO?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my game is not like how much can I have left over to store in my bank?
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like let's make it last for the whole year, which I think is also a mom thing because sometimes your PTO is not for you, it's for your kids.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so I love that that you're supporting people in that.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: I want to touch on just one more area of your life because I know the mom that's listening is curious.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing the career, building a community, and staying connected in your home life?
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: What are some of the things that you're doing that are really working there?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think it's boundaries.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's something that I've I've having, I have had to learn in, I gave the example earlier around like I am slacking um or messaging, you know, while I'm while I'm doing a bath uh for my daughter.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it is literally me being intentional on the time that I have, making sure that I'm there and I am present.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't do that before because I was so in my brain and so worried and so stressed and thinking about all my going a mile a minute, and now I'm saying, you know, I put my phone aside.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm and again, it sounds like a basic suggestion, and I'm sometimes successful with it, and sometimes I'm still working on it, but um, you know, I am just really present with my kids and I'm enjoying the book with them, and I'm just laughing with them in the bath, and we are sitting down to dinner and we are talking.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I went out to dinner last night with my family, and I literally had a moment thinking, you know, a year and a half ago, I would just be not even here.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be thinking about what I need to do this weekend, the laundry I need to do when I get home, the email I need to send.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: And by me just changing my entire focus on myself and me changing the way that this the regulation of my nervous system, I am able to be more present.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm able to do more of this.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: And in terms of building the community, I think two cool things about that.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: One is I'm so passionate about it.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel like work.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like it lights me up and I talk to my kids about it, and they are excited.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I I run an event and the next morning um my five-year-old will run in and be like, mommy, how did the event go?
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's just like the best.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or my daughter, she's bragging to her teachers about it.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I literally have had teachers like, oh, no, I heard you're running this XYZ event.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's so cool.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I'm sharing it with them.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think like, I guess if I could say one thing about what I want from this community is for it to transcend generations.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I want us being healthier as moms, as women, as wives, um, as partners' friends, is that our children benefit from it as well.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that they grow up seeing us be healthier and it focusing on ourselves so that we are better for everybody and that they feel empowered to do the same.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I'm trying to model to them.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I think I'm able to do it, is because they are learning positive from it as well.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: I a little choked up on that because I think that that is the work, you know?
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: When we think about like self-care being selfish, what you've just explained is why it's so important.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're modeling for our kids, because they're learning from us, our ability to connect with each other as families, with friends, and not always have to be connected to the things that we're achieving or to technology or to being plugged in.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's so huge.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we're also creating something that hasn't existed before.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um when I was a kid, we did not have cell phones.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: We had, you know, atrax and cassette tapes and CDs, and you know, we've been through such an evolution in terms of our connectedness in the world, and we have more information than we've ever had before.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so this ability to live in both worlds of being really centered and grounded and our nervous systems being managed while all of that that can feel super chaotic is going on, is is the work and it's huge.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: And giving that to each other and our children is is also what I feel is such an important piece of the work that we do too.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for doing that work because I think it's so, so needed right now.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: I totally agree.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: So what's next for you, Christy?
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: What are you, what are you building?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then I I would love for you to share the ways that the listener can connect with you.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, a big piece of the Awaken Achiever community are these moments of intentional coming together in person.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's really it's both about like different elements of self-care, but also really that connection in that community, like we've been talking about, that validation.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we will continue to run those in-person events.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm also expanding out um and starting to launch some virtual meetups.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm calling it, you know, power pause.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: And really what it is is just like an early morning meetup for what we've been talking about, those busy working moms, just to have that moment of calm, connection, clarity before the chaos kicks in.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know, a blend of emotional, physical or professional wellness before you kind of start your day.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, from here, it's really we continue on with in-person, but I do want to also open up and have these moments of connection virtually so we can expand that and more people can join.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, guided reflections, real talk on career motherhood, all the things so that you can feel good and better and more grounded before you start your day and your craziness at work.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_01: I love that so much.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: And where can people follow you?
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely want to urge the listener to check out your Instagram because they can really see in real time the exciting things that you're doing in your community.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: So um, my handle is at awakened Achiever and my website is awakenedachiever.com, and I have all of my events and my offerings on both.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um so you can follow me there and you can follow along with everything that we're doing and everything that we have available.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: All right, and one more piece of advice for the listeners.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: So let's say they're resonating with everything you're saying, they're a professional, they have a family, and they're also feeling that need to connect with the community.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: What are like one or two good steps in their community to do, to do items so that they can start doing some of these events and building these connections?
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's really about putting yourself out there a little bit and finding, you know, I call like find your people essentially.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um because, as an example, maybe you're at a birthday party, right?
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: And just like taking that moment to talk to that mom next to you could really be an important conversation that you have where you both walk away feeling better and finding more and more of those people that will continue to build that community for you of other women who are in a similar spot.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it builds and it grows and you have that validation and you have that time and where you can get together and and connect.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's one.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really putting yourself out there.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: We are all busy, but I think it's when you have those moments and those glimmers of like, hey, I can instead of standing here just eating the pizza, I can turn and talk to someone is really important.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the other thing I would just say is if you're anything like me, um, you probably are used to a fast pace, right?
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to see results right away.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think um my piece of advice is to give yourself grace um and to understand that we are all, we're all learning, we're all doing the best that we can.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_00: And these things do like your own evolution will take time.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: But we do the best that we can with what we have.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think just the fact that you are thinking about how do I do better?
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: How do I do better for myself, for my kids, for my husband, for my wife, for my um, for my work, whatever it may be, like that is so important in itself.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: And appreciate that in yourself and give yourself grace as you continue to grow.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that is such beautiful advice.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: I have enjoyed this conversation so much.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: I feel really connected to your mission and the work that you're doing.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I also love the fact that not that you're glossing over the challenges, but you're really focused on growth and change and positivity and really, like you said earlier, living in the heart and not so much in the head.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you've given the listeners so many suggestions for things they can do.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: We'll make sure that everything about Christy is in the show notes so that you can connect with her.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm really excited to see where this evolution goes next.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like imagining Awakened Achiever becoming like uh something that's all over the US, all over the world, where communities kind of follow this path that you have to create, you know, sustainable lives for women to be able to thrive and not just survive through having kids and a career.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I I like you believe that that really happens in communities when we're connected with other people and when we're giving ourselves that time to be human and care for ourselves.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Any last words of wisdom?
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, I mean, I hope so.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: That is the goal, and I love that um you you can see that vision as well.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just really thank you so much.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: I have enjoyed this conversation as well.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've had a great time chatting with you, and thank you so much for having me.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, it's been all my pleasure.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: I have loved having you as well.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope you'll come back and give us an update on the progress with your taking over the world.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: Christy takes on the world.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, uh, thank you so much.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, listener, for being with us to the end of the podcast.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: If this resonated with you, or if you know someone who would really benefit from the content of this episode, please like, share, review the podcast.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: I read those reviews, they make a difference and they get the podcast out to other people.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for being here, and we'll see you next time on the podcast.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: Bye for now.