Latest / Sober Readings / Those Who Still Suffer
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- Scott Hayes: Welcome to Sober Readings. Today is Saturday, the twenty fifth of July. Let's begin today's episode with the Serenity Party. Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections Those Who Still Suffer. For us, if we neglect those who are still sick, there is unremitting danger to our own lives and sanity. That's from twelve steps and twelve traditions, page one hundred five one. I know the torment of drinking compulsively to quiet my nerves and my fears. I also know the pain of white knuckled sobriety. Today I do not forget the unknown person who suffers quietly, withdrawn and hiding in the desperate relief of drinking. I ask my higher power to give me his guidance and the courage to be willing to be his instrument to carry within me compassion and unselfish actions. Let the group continue to give me the strength to do with others what I cannot do alone. Today's reading from twenty four hours, july twenty five, AA Thought for the Day. We are living on borrowed time. We are living today because of AA and the grace of God. And what there is left of our lives we owe to AA and to God. We should make the best use we can of our borrowed time and in some small measure pay back for that part of our lives which we wasted before we came into AA. Our lives from now on are not our own. We hold them in trust for God and AA. ⁓ And we must do all we can to forward the great movement that has given us a new lease on life. Am I holding my life in trust for AA? The meditation for the day. You should hold your life in trust for God. Think deeply on what that means. Is anything too much to expect from such a life? Do you begin to see how dedicated a life in trust for God can be? In such a life miracles can happen. If you are faithful, you can believe that God has many good things in store for you. God can be Lord of your life, controller of your days, of your present and your future. Try to act as God guides and leave all results to Him. Do not hold back, but go all out for God and the better life. Make good your trust. Today's prayer for the day. I pray that I may hold my life in trust for God. I pray that I may no longer consider my life as all my own. Today's daily meditation from Touchstones. Everyone once, once only, just once and no more. And we also once. Never again. But this having been once, although only once, to have been of the earth, seems irrevocable. That is a strange quote by Rainier Maria Rilke. In the hopelessness of addiction and codependency, and as children of addicts. Some of us have considered suicide, and some of us have actually tried to kill ourselves. We have maintained the option as an escape in case life got too difficult. Now, in recovery, we have chosen life. We've stopped killing ourselves in the slow ways of our old behaviors, yet some of us hold on to our ace in the whole. Either consciously or unconsciously, we haven't made that unconditional commitment to life. It may be one more firm step into recovery, a vote for the life we have been given, to say I will never choose suicide. Whatever comes my way, it is not an option for me. When we give up that one final controlling maneuver, we may find ourselves freer to live in this one irretrievable life we've been given. In choosing to be totally on the side of life, I step further into the care of God. Whatever I must meet, God is with me. And today's final reading is from As Bill Sees It. Today we're gonna read from page three two zero. Running the whole show. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show and is forever trying to arrange the lights, the scenery, and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry. Indignant, self pitying. Is he not really a self seeker even when trying to be useful? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? That's from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous page sixty and sixty one. And that's it for today's readings. Before I close, I'd like to go back to daily reflections. There's a term in here, white knuckling, or white knuckled sobriety, as they put it. And I just want to talk about that for a minute. I've heard that term so many times in sobriety, and for a while I did not know what it meant. White knuckling in sobriety means staying away from alcohol through sheer willpower while continuing to live with the same fear, anger, isolation, and un Healthy thinking that surrounded the drinking. A person may be sober on the outside, but miserable on the inside, gripping tightly through each day and constantly fighting the urge to drink. Instead of finding freedom in recovery, sobriety begins to feel like a punishment that has to be endured. So how can white knuckling be avoided? Instead of just strictly avoiding alcohol, become active in recovery. Going to meetings, working the twelve steps, talking honestly with a sponsor or another alcoholic, praying, meditating, helping others, and staying connected can relieve the pressure of trying to do everything alone. The goal is not just to remove the drink, but to build a life in which drinking no longer feels like the only answer. And we have a saying in the meetings I came for my drinking, but I stayed for my thinking. And what that means to me is I came initially because I couldn't stop drinking. But over time I realize that my thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors also need attention. Resentment, fear, selfishness, dishonesty, and the need to control remain even after the drinking stops. And that phrase reminds me that sobriety is about more than putting down the drink. Recovery teaches us how to live differently, respond to life more calmly, and change the thinking that once made alcohol seem like the solution. So I'd love to hear your thoughts and your comments on today's readings. You can send me an email at sober readings with Scott at gmail.com. And that's gonna do it for today's episode of Sober Readings. So thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket, just go to my website, soberreadings.com, and click the donate button. So thank you so much for listening. Stay sober, keep reading, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other, and remember, just for today. Don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day, and as my friend Larry says, best day ever.