Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 224: Trauma Recovery, Women’s Empowerment, and Unapologetic Transformation: Guest Leticia Francis

Transcript

E 224: Trauma Recovery, Women’s Empowerment, and Unapologetic Transformation: Guest Leticia Francis · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  good
• 0:47
  morning
• 0:48
  everybody
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:48
  back
• 0:48
  to
• 0:49
  another
• 0:49
  episode
• 0:49
  of
• 0:49
  Adult
• 0:50
  Child
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  Dysfunction.
• 0:51
  Today
• 0:51
  we
• 0:51
  have
• 0:52
  with
• 0:52
  us
• 0:52
  Leticia
• 0:53
  Francis.
• 0:54
  She
• 0:54
  is
• 0:54
  a
• 0:54
  trauma
• 0:54
  recovery
• 0:55
  mentor,
• 0:56
  a
• 0:56
  keynote
• 0:56
  speaker
• 0:57
  and
• 0:57
  author
• 0:57
  of
• 0:58
  Survival
• 0:58
  Mode
• 0:59
  Exit
• 0:59
  Plan
• 1:00
  known
• 1:00
  as
• 1:00
  the
• 1:01
  Survival
• 1:01
  Mode
• 1:02
  Mode
• 1:02
  Disruptor.
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  love
• 1:04
  that
• 1:04
  she
• 1:04
  helps
• 1:05
  high
• 1:05
  achieving
• 1:05
  women
• 1:06
  break
• 1:06
  free
• 1:06
  from
• 1:06
  Survival
• 1:07
  Mode
• 1:07
  and
• 1:07
  reclaim
• 1:08
  lives
• 1:08
  rooted
• 1:08
  in
• 1:08
  truth,
• 1:09
  ease
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  power.
• 1:10
  With
• 1:10
  lived
• 1:11
  experience
• 1:12
  and
• 1:12
  a
• 1:12
  no
• 1:12
  fluff
• 1:13
  delivery,
• 1:14
  Leticia's
• 1:14
  keynotes
• 1:15
  ignite
• 1:15
  healing
• 1:16
  Identity
• 1:16
  shifts,
• 1:17
  an
• 1:17
  unapologetic
• 1:18
  transformation.
• 1:19
  First
• 1:20
  of
• 1:20
  all,
• 1:20
  I
• 1:20
  love
• 1:20
  that
• 1:20
  unapologetic
• 1:22
  because
• 1:22
  that's
• 1:22
  my
• 1:22
  thing.
• 1:23
  I'm
• 1:23
  like,
• 1:23
  I
• 1:23
  am
• 1:23
  going
• 1:24
  to
• 1:24
  be
• 1:24
  unapologetically
• 1:25
  me,
• 1:27
  absolutely,
• 1:28
  like
• 1:28
  it
• 1:29
  or
• 1:29
  not.
• 1:30
  So
• 1:30
  we're
• 1:30
  going
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  jump
• 1:31
  right
• 1:31
  in.
• 1:31
  But
• 1:31
  I
• 1:31
  do
• 1:32
  have
• 1:32
  to
• 1:32
  comment
• 1:32
  because
• 1:33
  one
• 1:33
  of
• 1:33
  the
• 1:33
  comments
• 1:34
  you
• 1:34
  made
• 1:34
  in
• 1:34
  your,
• 1:34
  I
• 1:35
  guess
• 1:35
  it
• 1:35
  was
• 1:35
  your
• 1:35
  application
• 1:36
  or
• 1:36
  whatever
• 1:36
  you
• 1:36
  did
• 1:37
  literally
• 1:38
  said,
• 1:38
  I
• 1:38
  met
• 1:39
  a
• 1:39
  man
• 1:39
  at
• 1:39
  14
• 1:40
  who
• 1:41
  was
• 1:41
  twice
• 1:41
  my
• 1:42
  age
• 1:43
  who
• 1:43
  literally
• 1:44
  who
• 1:44
  eventually
• 1:45
  married
• 1:45
  me
• 1:45
  and
• 1:46
  eventually
• 1:46
  stabbed
• 1:47
  me.
• 1:47
  Did
• 1:47
  I
• 1:47
  read
• 1:48
  that
• 1:48
  correct?
• 1:49
  Absolutely.
• 1:52
  So
• 1:52
  let's
• 1:52
  just
• 1:53
  jump
• 1:53
  right
• 1:53
  in
• 1:53
  and,
• 1:54
  and
• 1:54
  let's
• 1:54
  just
• 1:55
  talk
• 1:55
  about
• 1:55
  that.
• 1:56
  Yeah,
• 1:56
  absolutely.
• 1:57
  So
• 1:58
  before
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  can
• 1:59
  even
• 1:59
  get
• 1:59
  to
• 1:59
  that
• 1:59
  point,
• 2:00
  I
• 2:00
  must
• 2:00
  start
• 2:00
  with.
• 2:01
  I
• 2:01
  grew
• 2:01
  up
• 2:02
  on
• 2:02
  a
• 2:02
  very
• 2:02
  small
• 2:03
  Island,
• 2:05
  Bermuda,
• 2:06
  21
• 2:06
  square
• 2:07
  miles.
• 2:07
  And
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  had
• 2:08
  a
• 2:09
  lot
• 2:09
  of
• 2:09
  family
• 2:10
  in
• 2:10
  issues,
• 2:11
  both
• 2:12
  of
• 2:12
  my
• 2:12
  parents,
• 2:13
  while
• 2:13
  my
• 2:13
  parents
• 2:14
  divorced
• 2:14
  when
• 2:14
  I
• 2:15
  was
• 2:15
  very
• 2:15
  young,
• 2:15
  both
• 2:16
  of
• 2:16
  my
• 2:16
  parents
• 2:16
  remarried
• 2:17
  and
• 2:18
  they
• 2:18
  remarried
• 2:19
  people
• 2:19
  who
• 2:19
  wanted
• 2:20
  nothing
• 2:20
  to
• 2:20
  do
• 2:21
  with
• 2:21
  me.
• 2:22
  So
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  grew
• 2:23
  up
• 2:24
  feeling
• 2:24
  like
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  was
• 2:25
  living
• 2:25
  in
• 2:26
  between
• 2:26
  two
• 2:27
  family
• 2:27
  units.
• 2:28
  There
• 2:29
  were
• 2:29
  other
• 2:29
  children
• 2:30
  involved,
• 2:30
  but
• 2:31
  I
• 2:31
  wasn't
• 2:31
  received
• 2:32
  as
• 2:33
  well
• 2:33
  as
• 2:33
  those
• 2:34
  other
• 2:34
  children.
• 2:35
  So
• 2:36
  I,
• 2:36
  from
• 2:37
  a
• 2:37
  very
• 2:37
  young
• 2:38
  age
• 2:38
  was
• 2:38
  seeking
• 2:39
  attention
• 2:40
  and
• 2:40
  seeking
• 2:41
  it
• 2:41
  in
• 2:41
  all
• 2:41
  the
• 2:42
  wrong
• 2:42
  places.
• 2:44
  I
• 2:44
  lost
• 2:44
  my
• 2:44
  virginity
• 2:45
  via
• 2:46
  rape
• 2:46
  at
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  age
• 2:47
  of
• 2:47
  12.
• 2:48
  And
• 2:49
  although
• 2:50
  I
• 2:50
  knew
• 2:51
  I
• 2:51
  had
• 2:51
  been
• 2:51
  raped,
• 2:52
  I
• 2:53
  appreciated
• 2:53
  the
• 2:54
  attention
• 2:54
  that
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  was
• 2:55
  getting
• 2:55
  from
• 2:56
  the
• 2:56
  man
• 2:57
  that
• 2:57
  were
• 2:57
  interested
• 2:58
  in
• 2:58
  having
• 2:58
  sex
• 2:59
  with
• 2:59
  me.
• 2:59
  Which
• 3:00
  led
• 3:00
  me
• 3:01
  to
• 3:01
  the
• 3:01
  point
• 3:01
  where
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  was
• 3:02
  introduced
• 3:03
  to
• 3:03
  this
• 3:03
  man
• 3:04
  who
• 3:04
  was
• 3:05
  nearly
• 3:05
  30
• 3:05
  when
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  was
• 3:06
  14.
• 3:08
  The
• 3:08
  relationship
• 3:09
  initially
• 3:10
  felt
• 3:11
  like
• 3:11
  an
• 3:11
  escape
• 3:13
  because
• 3:13
  he
• 3:14
  had
• 3:14
  his
• 3:14
  own
• 3:14
  place.
• 3:16
  Well,
• 3:16
  it
• 3:16
  wasn't
• 3:16
  his
• 3:17
  own
• 3:17
  place,
• 3:17
  but
• 3:17
  he
• 3:17
  had
• 3:18
  a
• 3:18
  place
• 3:18
  for
• 3:19
  me
• 3:20
  to
• 3:20
  go
• 3:20
  to.
• 3:22
  And
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  spent
• 3:23
  a
• 3:23
  lot
• 3:23
  of
• 3:24
  time
• 3:24
  after
• 3:25
  school
• 3:25
  on
• 3:26
  weekends
• 3:27
  with
• 3:27
  him.
• 3:28
  The
• 3:28
  relationship,
• 3:29
  when
• 3:29
  it
• 3:29
  started,
• 3:30
  he
• 3:31
  was,
• 3:31
  I
• 3:31
  would
• 3:31
  say,
• 3:32
  my
• 3:32
  night
• 3:32
  in
• 3:33
  shining
• 3:33
  armor.
• 3:34
  And
• 3:34
  that
• 3:34
  comes
• 3:35
  because
• 3:35
  I
• 3:35
  am
• 3:35
  a
• 3:35
  Disney
• 3:36
  fan.
• 3:36
  But
• 3:37
  he
• 3:37
  was
• 3:38
  my
• 3:38
  Prince
• 3:38
  Charming.
• 3:39
  He
• 3:40
  was
• 3:41
  the
• 3:41
  peace
• 3:41
  in
• 3:42
  my
• 3:42
  chaos
• 3:44
  dealing
• 3:44
  with
• 3:45
  all
• 3:45
  of
• 3:45
  the
• 3:47
  emotional
• 3:47
  neglect
• 3:48
  that
• 3:48
  I
• 3:48
  received
• 3:49
  from
• 3:49
  my
• 3:49
  parents.
• 3:51
  But
• 3:51
  as
• 3:52
  time
• 3:52
  went
• 3:52
  on
• 3:53
  and
• 3:53
  he
• 3:53
  knew
• 3:54
  more
• 3:54
  about
• 3:54
  me,
• 3:55
  he
• 3:55
  I,
• 3:57
  hindsight
• 3:57
  is
• 3:57
  20:20
• 3:58
  can
• 3:58
  see
• 3:58
  now
• 3:59
  how
• 4:00
  he
• 4:00
  groomed
• 4:01
  me
• 4:01
  into
• 4:02
  the
• 4:03
  perfect
• 4:03
  girlfriend.
• 4:04
  And
• 4:04
  later
• 4:04
  the
• 4:05
  perfect
• 4:05
  wife.
• 4:06
  The
• 4:06
  first
• 4:06
  time
• 4:07
  he
• 4:07
  put
• 4:07
  his
• 4:07
  hands
• 4:08
  on
• 4:08
  me,
• 4:08
  I
• 4:08
  was
• 4:09
  15.
• 4:10
  He
• 4:11
  choked
• 4:12
  me
• 4:12
  from
• 4:12
  behind,
• 4:14
  and
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  knew
• 4:14
  then
• 4:15
  that
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  needed
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  leave
• 4:16
  that
• 4:16
  relationship.
• 4:17
  However,
• 4:18
  my
• 4:19
  family
• 4:19
  life
• 4:20
  hadn't
• 4:20
  improved.
• 4:22
  I
• 4:22
  had
• 4:23
  gotten
• 4:23
  into
• 4:23
  an
• 4:24
  argument
• 4:24
  with
• 4:24
  my
• 4:25
  mother's
• 4:25
  husband.
• 4:26
  He
• 4:26
  taunted
• 4:27
  me
• 4:27
  to
• 4:28
  commit
• 4:29
  suicide,
• 4:29
  which
• 4:29
  I
• 4:30
  attempted.
• 4:31
  And
• 4:32
  that
• 4:34
  exchange
• 4:36
  pretty
• 4:36
  much
• 4:36
  pushed
• 4:36
  me
• 4:37
  back
• 4:37
  into
• 4:37
  the
• 4:37
  hands
• 4:38
  of
• 4:39
  this
• 4:39
  man
• 4:39
  who
• 4:40
  had
• 4:40
  already
• 4:41
  attempted
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  assault
• 4:43
  me.
• 4:44
  So
• 4:44
  when
• 4:45
  did
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  get.
• 4:45
  When
• 4:45
  did
• 4:46
  you
• 4:46
  get
• 4:46
  married?
• 4:46
  How
• 4:46
  old
• 4:46
  were
• 4:46
  you
• 4:47
  when
• 4:47
  you
• 4:47
  got
• 4:47
  married?
• 4:48
  I
• 4:48
  was
• 4:48
  19
• 4:49
  when
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  got
• 4:49
  married
• 4:49
  to
• 4:50
  him.
• 4:51
  And
• 4:53
  immediately
• 4:54
  after
• 4:55
  the
• 4:56
  marriage,
• 4:56
  he
• 4:57
  made
• 4:57
  it
• 4:57
  very
• 4:58
  clear
• 4:58
  that
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  was
• 4:58
  his
• 4:59
  property.
• 4:59
  That's
• 5:00
  what
• 5:00
  he
• 5:00
  saw
• 5:00
  me
• 5:01
  as.
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  wasn't
• 5:01
  a
• 5:02
  wife,
• 5:02
  I
• 5:02
  wasn't
• 5:02
  a
• 5:02
  partner.
• 5:03
  I
• 5:04
  was
• 5:04
  his
• 5:04
  property.
• 5:05
  And
• 5:06
  I
• 5:06
  was
• 5:07
  only
• 5:07
  good
• 5:07
  at
• 5:08
  enough.
• 5:12
  Well,
• 5:13
  as
• 5:13
  he
• 5:13
  defined
• 5:14
  me,
• 5:15
  he
• 5:15
  made
• 5:16
  it
• 5:16
  very
• 5:16
  clear
• 5:17
  that
• 5:18
  I
• 5:18
  owed
• 5:19
  him
• 5:22
  because
• 5:22
  he
• 5:22
  took
• 5:23
  me
• 5:23
  in
• 5:24
  when
• 5:24
  my
• 5:24
  family
• 5:25
  had
• 5:25
  kicked
• 5:26
  me
• 5:26
  out,
• 5:27
  and
• 5:27
  he
• 5:27
  was
• 5:28
  like,
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  know,
• 5:28
  I
• 5:28
  took
• 5:28
  care
• 5:29
  of
• 5:29
  you,
• 5:30
  so
• 5:30
  you
• 5:31
  belong
• 5:31
  to
• 5:32
  me.
• 5:33
  Well,
• 5:33
  at
• 5:33
  the
• 5:33
  time,
• 5:34
  oh,
• 5:34
  my
• 5:34
  gosh.
• 5:35
  And
• 5:35
  first
• 5:35
  of
• 5:35
  all,
• 5:35
  just
• 5:35
  to
• 5:36
  even
• 5:36
  just
• 5:36
  break
• 5:36
  in
• 5:37
  there,
• 5:37
  Nobody
• 5:38
  owns
• 5:38
  anybody.
• 5:39
  And
• 5:39
  isn't
• 5:39
  it
• 5:39
  sad
• 5:39
  that
• 5:40
  you
• 5:40
  can
• 5:40
  be
• 5:40
  so
• 5:42
  starving
• 5:43
  for
• 5:43
  attention
• 5:44
  and.
• 5:44
  And
• 5:45
  love
• 5:45
  and
• 5:45
  that
• 5:46
  just
• 5:46
  whatever.
• 5:46
  You
• 5:47
  didn't
• 5:47
  get
• 5:47
  that,
• 5:48
  like
• 5:48
  you
• 5:48
  said,
• 5:48
  he
• 5:48
  was
• 5:48
  your
• 5:49
  knight
• 5:49
  in
• 5:49
  shining,
• 5:49
  shining
• 5:50
  armor.
• 5:50
  But
• 5:51
  it's.
• 5:52
  It's
• 5:52
  amazing
• 5:52
  that
• 5:53
  we
• 5:53
  will
• 5:53
  let
• 5:53
  ourselves
• 5:54
  be
• 5:55
  okay
• 5:55
  with
• 5:55
  that.
• 5:55
  And
• 5:56
  I'm
• 5:56
  sure
• 5:56
  right
• 5:56
  now
• 5:57
  if,
• 5:57
  like,
• 5:57
  you
• 5:57
  look
• 5:58
  back
• 5:58
  now,
• 5:58
  if
• 5:58
  you're
• 5:59
  like,
• 5:59
  if
• 5:59
  you
• 5:59
  were
• 5:59
  19
• 6:00
  today,
• 6:00
  you'd
• 6:00
  be
• 6:01
  like,
• 6:01
  oh,
• 6:01
  hell
• 6:02
  no.
• 6:03
  Absolutely.
• 6:04
  If
• 6:04
  I
• 6:04
  could
• 6:05
  go
• 6:05
  back,
• 6:05
  I
• 6:06
  mean,
• 6:06
  the
• 6:06
  trajectory
• 6:07
  of
• 6:07
  my
• 6:07
  life
• 6:08
  would
• 6:08
  have
• 6:08
  been
• 6:08
  completely
• 6:08
  different.
• 6:10
  I
• 6:10
  operated
• 6:11
  from
• 6:11
  fear,
• 6:12
  immense
• 6:12
  fear.
• 6:13
  Right.
• 6:13
  So,
• 6:13
  you
• 6:14
  know,
• 6:14
  I
• 6:14
  got
• 6:14
  kicked
• 6:14
  out
• 6:14
  of
• 6:15
  my
• 6:15
  mom's
• 6:15
  house.
• 6:16
  I
• 6:16
  had
• 6:17
  never
• 6:17
  been
• 6:18
  on
• 6:18
  my
• 6:18
  own.
• 6:19
  So
• 6:20
  for
• 6:20
  me,
• 6:20
  it
• 6:20
  was
• 6:21
  like,
• 6:22
  this
• 6:22
  is
• 6:22
  the
• 6:23
  ideal
• 6:23
  place
• 6:24
  for
• 6:24
  me
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  go.
• 6:24
  And
• 6:24
  he
• 6:25
  took
• 6:25
  me
• 6:25
  in.
• 6:26
  But
• 6:26
  he
• 6:26
  used
• 6:27
  that
• 6:27
  as
• 6:27
  a
• 6:27
  bargaining
• 6:28
  chip,
• 6:31
  which
• 6:33
  really,
• 6:34
  you
• 6:35
  know,
• 6:35
  cemented
• 6:36
  the
• 6:36
  abuse,
• 6:37
  the
• 6:37
  emotional
• 6:38
  abuse
• 6:39
  that
• 6:39
  I
• 6:39
  received.
• 6:40
  He
• 6:40
  was
• 6:40
  physically
• 6:41
  abusive,
• 6:42
  sexually
• 6:42
  abusive.
• 6:44
  I
• 6:44
  went
• 6:44
  through
• 6:44
  the
• 6:45
  ringer,
• 6:46
  and
• 6:46
  what
• 6:46
  was
• 6:46
  interesting
• 6:47
  is,
• 6:47
  at
• 6:47
  the
• 6:48
  time,
• 6:48
  I
• 6:48
  was
• 6:48
  working
• 6:48
  in
• 6:49
  law
• 6:49
  enforcement.
• 6:50
  I
• 6:50
  was
• 6:51
  working
• 6:51
  alongside
• 6:51
  the
• 6:52
  police
• 6:52
  as
• 6:52
  a
• 6:52
  customs
• 6:53
  officer.
• 6:54
  And
• 6:54
  I
• 6:55
  had
• 6:55
  the
• 6:55
  opportunity
• 6:57
  to
• 6:58
  report
• 6:58
  what
• 6:59
  was
• 6:59
  going
• 6:59
  on.
• 6:59
  But
• 7:00
  as
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  mentioned,
• 7:00
  I'm
• 7:01
  from
• 7:01
  a
• 7:01
  very
• 7:01
  small
• 7:02
  community.
• 7:04
  Your
• 7:05
  business
• 7:05
  spreads
• 7:06
  faster
• 7:06
  than
• 7:07
  the
• 7:07
  flu
• 7:07
  in
• 7:08
  Bermuda.
• 7:09
  And
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  really
• 7:09
  didn't
• 7:10
  want.
• 7:10
  Yeah,
• 7:11
  you're
• 7:11
  on
• 7:11
  21
• 7:12
  square
• 7:12
  miles.
• 7:12
  It's
• 7:13
  not
• 7:13
  like
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  can
• 7:13
  run
• 7:13
  and
• 7:13
  hide.
• 7:14
  I
• 7:14
  mean,
• 7:14
  you're
• 7:14
  going
• 7:14
  to
• 7:15
  run
• 7:15
  into
• 7:15
  this
• 7:15
  person
• 7:15
  over
• 7:16
  and
• 7:16
  over
• 7:16
  and
• 7:16
  over
• 7:17
  again,
• 7:17
  and
• 7:17
  probably
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  can.
• 7:19
  First
• 7:19
  of
• 7:19
  all,
• 7:19
  Let
• 7:19
  me
• 7:20
  say,
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  love
• 7:20
  Bermuda.
• 7:21
  I
• 7:22
  go
• 7:22
  on
• 7:22
  a
• 7:22
  lot
• 7:22
  of
• 7:22
  cruises,
• 7:23
  and
• 7:23
  it
• 7:23
  is
• 7:23
  without
• 7:24
  a
• 7:24
  doubt
• 7:24
  my
• 7:25
  favorite
• 7:25
  island.
• 7:26
  I
• 7:27
  we
• 7:28
  our
• 7:28
  joke,
• 7:29
  my
• 7:29
  husband
• 7:29
  and
• 7:29
  I,
• 7:29
  when
• 7:30
  we
• 7:30
  go
• 7:30
  to
• 7:30
  Bermuda
• 7:30
  is
• 7:31
  we
• 7:31
  bet
• 7:31
  who
• 7:32
  can
• 7:32
  find
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  first
• 7:32
  piece
• 7:33
  of
• 7:33
  garbage
• 7:33
  on
• 7:34
  the
• 7:34
  ground
• 7:34
  and
• 7:34
  never
• 7:35
  do
• 7:35
  we
• 7:35
  ever
• 7:36
  find
• 7:36
  one.
• 7:37
  So
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  just.
• 7:41
  Sorry
• 7:41
  I
• 7:41
  had
• 7:41
  to
• 7:41
  stick
• 7:42
  that
• 7:42
  in
• 7:42
  there
• 7:42
  because
• 7:42
  as
• 7:42
  soon
• 7:42
  as
• 7:43
  you
• 7:43
  said
• 7:43
  Bermuda,
• 7:43
  I
• 7:44
  got,
• 7:44
  like,
• 7:44
  chills.
• 7:44
  Like,
• 7:44
  oh,
• 7:45
  that's
• 7:45
  the
• 7:45
  clean
• 7:45
  island.
• 7:48
  Very
• 7:48
  clean,
• 7:51
  you
• 7:51
  know.
• 7:51
  But
• 7:51
  because
• 7:52
  it
• 7:53
  was
• 7:53
  such
• 7:53
  a
• 7:53
  small
• 7:53
  island,
• 7:54
  people's
• 7:54
  business,
• 7:55
  like
• 7:55
  I
• 7:55
  said,
• 7:55
  spread
• 7:56
  faster
• 7:56
  than
• 7:56
  the
• 7:57
  flu.
• 7:57
  I
• 7:57
  didn't
• 7:58
  want
• 7:58
  anybody
• 7:59
  in
• 7:59
  my
• 8:00
  business.
• 8:01
  So
• 8:01
  I
• 8:01
  kept
• 8:02
  quiet.
• 8:02
  And
• 8:02
  I
• 8:02
  kept
• 8:03
  quiet
• 8:03
  for
• 8:03
  a
• 8:03
  very
• 8:04
  long
• 8:04
  time.
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  started
• 8:06
  planning
• 8:06
  my
• 8:07
  exit
• 8:08
  from
• 8:08
  the
• 8:08
  relationship
• 8:09
  after
• 8:10
  having
• 8:13
  multiple
• 8:13
  conversations
• 8:14
  with
• 8:14
  one
• 8:14
  of
• 8:15
  my
• 8:15
  friends
• 8:15
  who
• 8:16
  was
• 8:16
  also
• 8:16
  being
• 8:17
  abused.
• 8:18
  And
• 8:20
  it
• 8:20
  just
• 8:20
  so
• 8:21
  happened,
• 8:22
  one
• 8:22
  night
• 8:23
  she
• 8:23
  called
• 8:23
  me.
• 8:24
  She
• 8:25
  called
• 8:25
  my
• 8:25
  landline,
• 8:26
  and
• 8:27
  she
• 8:27
  was
• 8:28
  looking
• 8:28
  for
• 8:29
  advice
• 8:29
  about
• 8:30
  her
• 8:30
  situation.
• 8:31
  She
• 8:31
  was
• 8:32
  unaware
• 8:32
  of
• 8:32
  my
• 8:32
  situation
• 8:33
  because,
• 8:33
  again,
• 8:34
  I
• 8:34
  didn't
• 8:34
  share
• 8:35
  with
• 8:35
  her
• 8:36
  right.
• 8:36
  That
• 8:37
  day
• 8:39
  I
• 8:39
  thought
• 8:39
  I
• 8:39
  had
• 8:39
  lost
• 8:40
  my
• 8:40
  cell
• 8:40
  phone,
• 8:41
  and
• 8:43
  which
• 8:43
  is
• 8:44
  why
• 8:44
  she
• 8:44
  had
• 8:44
  called
• 8:44
  me
• 8:44
  on
• 8:45
  my
• 8:45
  landline.
• 8:45
  She
• 8:46
  was
• 8:46
  calling
• 8:46
  to
• 8:47
  tell
• 8:47
  me
• 8:47
  that
• 8:47
  she
• 8:47
  had
• 8:47
  called
• 8:48
  my
• 8:48
  cell
• 8:48
  phone
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  my
• 8:50
  husband
• 8:50
  an.
• 8:51
  And
• 8:52
  he
• 8:52
  sounded
• 8:52
  angry.
• 8:54
  And
• 8:54
  I
• 8:55
  knew
• 8:55
  that
• 8:55
  if
• 8:56
  he
• 8:56
  had
• 8:56
  myself
• 8:57
  in,
• 8:57
  it
• 8:57
  meant
• 8:57
  that
• 8:58
  he
• 8:58
  probably
• 8:58
  saw
• 8:59
  my
• 8:59
  plans
• 9:00
  to
• 9:00
  leave.
• 9:01
  Yes.
• 9:02
  Anyway,
• 9:03
  her
• 9:03
  and
• 9:03
  I
• 9:03
  had
• 9:04
  a
• 9:04
  conversation,
• 9:04
  and
• 9:05
  in
• 9:05
  order
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  encourage
• 9:06
  her,
• 9:06
  I
• 9:07
  randomly
• 9:07
  opened
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  book
• 9:08
  by
• 9:08
  Iyanla
• 9:09
  Van
• 9:09
  Zandt
• 9:10
  called
• 9:10
  Until
• 9:10
  Today.
• 9:11
  It's
• 9:12
  a
• 9:12
  daily
• 9:12
  devotional,
• 9:13
  and
• 9:14
  I
• 9:14
  randomly
• 9:15
  picked
• 9:15
  a
• 9:15
  passage
• 9:16
  out
• 9:16
  of
• 9:16
  it.
• 9:17
  That
• 9:17
  passage
• 9:18
  spoke
• 9:19
  about
• 9:20
  how
• 9:20
  people
• 9:20
  are
• 9:21
  in
• 9:21
  our
• 9:21
  lives
• 9:21
  for
• 9:22
  a
• 9:22
  seasonal
• 9:22
  reason
• 9:22
  in
• 9:23
  a
• 9:23
  lifetime.
• 9:24
  And
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  reason
• 9:25
  why
• 9:25
  our
• 9:25
  interpersonal
• 9:26
  relationships
• 9:27
  don't
• 9:27
  work
• 9:27
  often
• 9:28
  is
• 9:28
  we're
• 9:29
  trying
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  keep
• 9:29
  somebody
• 9:30
  in
• 9:30
  our
• 9:30
  lives
• 9:31
  whose
• 9:32
  time
• 9:32
  had
• 9:32
  passed.
• 9:33
  And
• 9:33
  I
• 9:34
  remember
• 9:34
  sitting
• 9:35
  there
• 9:35
  reading
• 9:35
  this
• 9:35
  to
• 9:36
  her
• 9:36
  and
• 9:36
  feeling
• 9:36
  like
• 9:37
  I
• 9:37
  was
• 9:37
  preaching
• 9:37
  to
• 9:37
  myself.
• 9:40
  I
• 9:40
  knew
• 9:41
  that
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  needed
• 9:41
  to
• 9:42
  leave
• 9:42
  that
• 9:42
  relationship.
• 9:44
  That
• 9:45
  was
• 9:45
  an
• 9:45
  interesting
• 9:46
  realization
• 9:47
  that
• 9:47
  day,
• 9:48
  because
• 9:48
  that
• 9:48
  was
• 9:48
  the
• 9:48
  day
• 9:49
  that
• 9:49
  my
• 9:49
  husband
• 9:49
  came
• 9:49
  home
• 9:50
  and
• 9:50
  stabbed
• 9:50
  me.
• 9:51
  He
• 9:52
  had
• 9:52
  found
• 9:53
  my
• 9:53
  plans
• 9:54
  to
• 9:54
  leave
• 9:54
  the
• 9:55
  relationship.
• 9:56
  I
• 9:56
  had
• 9:56
  been
• 9:56
  applying
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  multiple
• 9:58
  universities
• 9:58
  overseas.
• 10:00
  And
• 10:00
  my
• 10:00
  plan
• 10:00
  was
• 10:01
  to
• 10:01
  tell
• 10:01
  him
• 10:01
  that
• 10:02
  I
• 10:02
  was
• 10:02
  going
• 10:02
  to
• 10:03
  one
• 10:04
  university
• 10:04
  when
• 10:05
  I
• 10:05
  actually
• 10:05
  was
• 10:05
  going
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  another
• 10:06
  and
• 10:07
  just
• 10:07
  essentially
• 10:08
  disappear
• 10:09
  and
• 10:09
  then
• 10:09
  file
• 10:09
  for
• 10:10
  divorce.
• 10:12
  He
• 10:12
  told
• 10:12
  me
• 10:13
  that
• 10:13
  day
• 10:13
  the
• 10:13
  only
• 10:14
  reason
• 10:14
  what,
• 10:14
  the
• 10:14
  only
• 10:15
  way
• 10:15
  that
• 10:15
  I
• 10:15
  will
• 10:16
  leave
• 10:16
  him
• 10:16
  is
• 10:17
  in
• 10:17
  a
• 10:17
  body
• 10:17
  bag.
• 10:18
  And
• 10:19
  he
• 10:19
  proceeded
• 10:20
  to
• 10:23
  barricade
• 10:24
  the
• 10:24
  room
• 10:24
  that
• 10:25
  we
• 10:25
  were
• 10:25
  in.
• 10:25
  And
• 10:26
  I
• 10:27
  remember
• 10:27
  fighting
• 10:28
  for
• 10:28
  my
• 10:28
  life
• 10:28
  as
• 10:29
  if
• 10:29
  I
• 10:30
  was
• 10:30
  watching
• 10:30
  someone
• 10:31
  on
• 10:31
  the
• 10:31
  screen
• 10:32
  fight.
• 10:32
  It
• 10:33
  was
• 10:33
  like
• 10:33
  an
• 10:33
  auto
• 10:34
  body
• 10:34
  experience.
• 10:35
  And
• 10:37
  I
• 10:37
  remember
• 10:38
  clearly
• 10:39
  remember
• 10:39
  seeing
• 10:40
  the
• 10:40
  9th
• 10:40
  row
• 10:43
  incident,
• 10:44
  but
• 10:44
  it
• 10:44
  wasn't
• 10:44
  until
• 10:45
  someone
• 10:45
  tried
• 10:45
  to
• 10:46
  get
• 10:47
  into
• 10:47
  the
• 10:47
  barricaded
• 10:48
  room
• 10:50
  that
• 10:50
  I
• 10:50
  was.
• 10:51
  I.
• 10:52
  I
• 10:53
  ran
• 10:53
  out
• 10:53
  of
• 10:53
  the
• 10:53
  room.
• 10:54
  I
• 10:54
  fell
• 10:54
  on
• 10:54
  a
• 10:55
  couch,
• 10:55
  and
• 10:55
  he
• 10:55
  followed
• 10:56
  behind
• 10:56
  me,
• 10:57
  still
• 10:57
  trying
• 10:58
  to
• 10:58
  stab
• 10:59
  me.
• 10:59
  And
• 10:59
  at
• 11:00
  that
• 11:00
  point,
• 11:00
  I
• 11:00
  thought
• 11:00
  he
• 11:01
  was
• 11:01
  trying.
• 11:02
  I
• 11:02
  didn't
• 11:02
  actually
• 11:03
  realize
• 11:03
  that
• 11:03
  I
• 11:04
  had
• 11:04
  been
• 11:04
  stabbed.
• 11:04
  Stabbed.
• 11:09
  I
• 11:10
  was
• 11:10
  kicked
• 11:10
  out
• 11:10
  of
• 11:10
  the
• 11:11
  house
• 11:11
  that
• 11:11
  we
• 11:11
  were
• 11:11
  in
• 11:12
  by
• 11:12
  his
• 11:13
  friend
• 11:13
  because
• 11:14
  his
• 11:14
  friend
• 11:15
  didn't
• 11:15
  want
• 11:15
  the
• 11:15
  police
• 11:15
  to
• 11:16
  be
• 11:16
  called.
• 11:19
  Before
• 11:20
  the
• 11:20
  chaos
• 11:20
  kicked
• 11:21
  off,
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  managed
• 11:22
  to
• 11:22
  call
• 11:22
  my
• 11:22
  mom,
• 11:22
  and
• 11:22
  I
• 11:23
  asked
• 11:23
  her,
• 11:23
  you
• 11:23
  need
• 11:23
  to
• 11:24
  come
• 11:24
  get
• 11:24
  me
• 11:24
  right
• 11:24
  now.
• 11:25
  So
• 11:25
  I'm
• 11:26
  outside.
• 11:27
  I'm
• 11:27
  now
• 11:29
  feeling
• 11:29
  this
• 11:29
  warmth
• 11:30
  on
• 11:30
  my
• 11:31
  body,
• 11:32
  not
• 11:32
  recognizing
• 11:33
  that
• 11:33
  it
• 11:33
  was
• 11:33
  my
• 11:34
  blood.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:35
  my
• 11:35
  mom
• 11:36
  pulled
• 11:37
  up,
• 11:37
  and
• 11:38
  she
• 11:38
  actually
• 11:38
  listened.
• 11:39
  She
• 11:39
  pulled
• 11:40
  up,
• 11:41
  and
• 11:42
  when
• 11:42
  she
• 11:42
  pulled
• 11:42
  up,
• 11:43
  she
• 11:43
  was
• 11:43
  screaming,
• 11:44
  oh,
• 11:44
  my
• 11:44
  God,
• 11:44
  you're
• 11:44
  bleeding.
• 11:45
  You're
• 11:45
  bleeding,
• 11:45
  you're
• 11:46
  bleeding.
• 11:46
  What
• 11:46
  happened?
• 11:47
  What
• 11:47
  happened?
• 11:49
  In
• 11:50
  the
• 11:50
  chaos,
• 11:51
  my
• 11:51
  then
• 11:52
  husband
• 11:53
  started
• 11:54
  throwing
• 11:55
  my
• 11:55
  clothes
• 11:56
  and
• 11:56
  my
• 11:56
  belongings
• 11:57
  outside.
• 11:57
  It
• 11:58
  was
• 11:58
  raining,
• 12:01
  very
• 12:01
  muddy,
• 12:03
  and
• 12:03
  he
• 12:03
  threw
• 12:04
  out
• 12:05
  a
• 12:06
  bag
• 12:06
  that
• 12:06
  contained
• 12:07
  about
• 12:07
  $20,000
• 12:09
  worth
• 12:09
  of
• 12:10
  leather
• 12:11
  goods.
• 12:12
  And
• 12:12
  there's
• 12:12
  leather
• 12:13
  goods
• 12:13
  were
• 12:14
  gifts,
• 12:15
  and
• 12:15
  I'm
• 12:16
  sorry,
• 12:17
  you
• 12:18
  know,
• 12:20
  gifts
• 12:21
  that
• 12:21
  my
• 12:21
  husband
• 12:22
  had
• 12:22
  given
• 12:22
  me
• 12:22
  over
• 12:23
  the
• 12:23
  years.
• 12:23
  And
• 12:25
  at
• 12:25
  that
• 12:25
  age,
• 12:25
  I'm
• 12:26
  in
• 12:26
  my
• 12:26
  early
• 12:26
  20s,
• 12:27
  it
• 12:27
  was
• 12:28
  valuable.
• 12:29
  I
• 12:29
  felt
• 12:29
  like
• 12:29
  I
• 12:29
  had
• 12:30
  earned
• 12:30
  it.
• 12:31
  So
• 12:31
  I
• 12:31
  stuffed
• 12:32
  it
• 12:32
  in
• 12:32
  the
• 12:32
  car.
• 12:33
  And
• 12:33
  he
• 12:34
  came
• 12:34
  out
• 12:34
  and
• 12:34
  he
• 12:35
  realized
• 12:35
  that
• 12:35
  he
• 12:36
  had
• 12:36
  thrown
• 12:36
  it,
• 12:37
  and
• 12:38
  he
• 12:39
  tried
• 12:39
  to
• 12:39
  fight
• 12:40
  me
• 12:40
  again
• 12:41
  to
• 12:41
  get
• 12:41
  the
• 12:42
  bags
• 12:43
  out
• 12:43
  of
• 12:44
  the
• 12:44
  car.
• 12:45
  And
• 12:45
  my
• 12:45
  mom
• 12:45
  was
• 12:46
  like,
• 12:46
  just
• 12:46
  let
• 12:46
  him
• 12:47
  have
• 12:47
  it.
• 12:47
  Like,
• 12:48
  just
• 12:48
  let
• 12:49
  him
• 12:49
  have
• 12:49
  it.
• 12:49
  And
• 12:50
  it
• 12:50
  was.
• 12:50
  If
• 12:51
  she
• 12:51
  hadn't
• 12:51
  screamed
• 12:52
  out,
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  don't
• 12:53
  think
• 12:53
  I
• 12:53
  actually
• 12:53
  would
• 12:54
  have
• 12:54
  registered
• 12:55
  how
• 12:55
  much
• 12:55
  danger
• 12:56
  that
• 12:56
  I
• 12:56
  was
• 12:56
  actually
• 12:57
  in.
• 12:59
  And
• 12:59
  I
• 12:59
  got
• 12:59
  in
• 13:00
  the
• 13:00
  car
• 13:00
  and
• 13:00
  we
• 13:00
  laughed.
• 13:01
  So
• 13:02
  when
• 13:02
  I
• 13:02
  left,
• 13:02
  my
• 13:02
  mom
• 13:02
  was
• 13:03
  like,
• 13:03
  we're
• 13:03
  going
• 13:03
  to
• 13:03
  go
• 13:03
  to
• 13:03
  the
• 13:03
  hospital.
• 13:04
  And
• 13:04
  I
• 13:04
  was
• 13:04
  like,
• 13:04
  how?
• 13:05
  No.
• 13:06
  How?
• 13:06
  No,
• 13:06
  I'm
• 13:07
  not
• 13:07
  going
• 13:07
  to
• 13:07
  the
• 13:07
  hospital.
• 13:08
  Because
• 13:08
  if
• 13:08
  I
• 13:08
  go
• 13:08
  to
• 13:08
  the
• 13:09
  hospital,
• 13:09
  they're
• 13:09
  going
• 13:09
  to
• 13:09
  call
• 13:09
  the
• 13:10
  police,
• 13:10
  and
• 13:10
  I
• 13:10
  don't
• 13:10
  want
• 13:11
  the
• 13:11
  police
• 13:11
  involved.
• 13:13
  So
• 13:13
  I
• 13:14
  went
• 13:14
  to
• 13:14
  my
• 13:14
  mom's
• 13:15
  house.
• 13:15
  We
• 13:15
  managed
• 13:15
  to
• 13:16
  stop
• 13:16
  the
• 13:16
  bleeding,
• 13:17
  and
• 13:18
  she
• 13:18
  then
• 13:19
  said
• 13:19
  to
• 13:19
  me,
• 13:19
  I
• 13:20
  don't
• 13:20
  know
• 13:20
  what
• 13:20
  you're
• 13:20
  going
• 13:20
  to
• 13:21
  do,
• 13:21
  but
• 13:22
  you
• 13:22
  can't
• 13:22
  stay
• 13:23
  here.
• 13:26
  Just
• 13:26
  add
• 13:26
  insult
• 13:27
  to
• 13:27
  injury,
• 13:27
  right?
• 13:28
  Yeah.
• 13:29
  The
• 13:29
  one
• 13:30
  person
• 13:30
  that
• 13:30
  should
• 13:30
  have
• 13:30
  protected
• 13:31
  me
• 13:31
  in
• 13:31
  my
• 13:32
  very
• 13:32
  worst
• 13:32
  moment
• 13:33
  was
• 13:33
  neglecting
• 13:34
  me
• 13:34
  once
• 13:34
  again.
• 13:36
  And
• 13:36
  I
• 13:36
  was
• 13:37
  then
• 13:38
  taken
• 13:39
  to
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  police
• 13:40
  station.
• 13:42
  And
• 13:42
  then
• 13:42
  I
• 13:42
  was
• 13:43
  escorted
• 13:44
  to
• 13:44
  a
• 13:44
  woman's
• 13:45
  resource
• 13:45
  center
• 13:46
  and
• 13:46
  home,
• 13:47
  where
• 13:47
  I
• 13:48
  remained
• 13:48
  for
• 13:49
  the
• 13:49
  next
• 13:49
  two
• 13:49
  months
• 13:50
  while
• 13:51
  I
• 13:51
  built
• 13:51
  my
• 13:51
  life,
• 13:52
  while
• 13:52
  I
• 13:52
  rebuilt
• 13:53
  my
• 13:53
  life.
• 13:54
  So
• 13:54
  I
• 13:55
  thought.
• 13:57
  But
• 13:57
  that
• 13:57
  rebuild
• 13:58
  wasn't
• 13:59
  successful.
• 14:00
  What
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  was
• 14:01
  left
• 14:01
  with
• 14:01
  was
• 14:01
  a
• 14:02
  lot
• 14:02
  of
• 14:02
  negative
• 14:03
  thoughts.
• 14:04
  And
• 14:05
  I
• 14:06
  silenced
• 14:06
  my
• 14:07
  thoughts
• 14:07
  at
• 14:08
  the
• 14:08
  bottom
• 14:08
  of
• 14:08
  a
• 14:08
  liquor
• 14:09
  bottle.
• 14:10
  And
• 14:10
  I
• 14:10
  spent
• 14:10
  years
• 14:11
  drinking
• 14:14
  to
• 14:16
  absolute
• 14:17
  blackout
• 14:18
  most
• 14:19
  days
• 14:20
  just
• 14:20
  because
• 14:20
  I
• 14:21
  had
• 14:21
  just
• 14:21
  had
• 14:21
  so
• 14:22
  much
• 14:22
  going
• 14:22
  on.
• 14:22
  I.
• 14:23
  You
• 14:23
  know,
• 14:24
  having
• 14:24
  to
• 14:24
  rebuild
• 14:25
  my
• 14:25
  life,
• 14:26
  having
• 14:26
  to
• 14:26
  figure
• 14:27
  out
• 14:27
  how
• 14:27
  to
• 14:28
  pay
• 14:28
  bills,
• 14:29
  like,
• 14:29
  this
• 14:29
  is
• 14:29
  my
• 14:29
  first
• 14:30
  time
• 14:30
  on
• 14:30
  my
• 14:30
  own,
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  really
• 14:32
  being
• 14:32
  alone,
• 14:33
  like,
• 14:33
  no
• 14:33
  one
• 14:34
  assisted
• 14:35
  me.
• 14:37
  And
• 14:38
  I
• 14:38
  was
• 14:38
  angry
• 14:38
  about
• 14:39
  that,
• 14:40
  of
• 14:40
  course,
• 14:40
  Immensely.
• 14:42
  You
• 14:42
  know,
• 14:46
  I
• 14:46
  later
• 14:46
  built
• 14:46
  my
• 14:47
  life,
• 14:47
  and
• 14:47
  I
• 14:48
  ended
• 14:48
  up
• 14:49
  in
• 14:49
  Atlanta
• 14:50
  with
• 14:50
  a
• 14:50
  full
• 14:51
  scholarship
• 14:51
  to
• 14:51
  go
• 14:52
  to
• 14:52
  Georgia
• 14:52
  State
• 14:52
  University.
• 14:54
  And
• 14:54
  life
• 14:55
  slowly
• 14:56
  got
• 14:56
  back
• 14:57
  a
• 14:58
  little
• 14:58
  better.
• 14:59
  But
• 14:59
  I
• 14:59
  think
• 14:59
  what
• 15:00
  happened,
• 15:01
  as
• 15:01
  always,
• 15:02
  is
• 15:03
  I
• 15:03
  felt
• 15:03
  alone,
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  felt
• 15:04
  abandoned,
• 15:05
  I
• 15:05
  felt
• 15:06
  neglected.
• 15:07
  And
• 15:07
  any
• 15:07
  little
• 15:08
  attention
• 15:08
  that
• 15:09
  I
• 15:09
  got,
• 15:09
  I
• 15:10
  held
• 15:10
  onto
• 15:10
  it
• 15:11
  like
• 15:11
  it
• 15:11
  was
• 15:11
  the
• 15:11
  holy
• 15:12
  grail.
• 15:13
  And
• 15:13
  I
• 15:13
  met
• 15:14
  this
• 15:14
  man
• 15:14
  who,
• 15:15
  at
• 15:15
  the
• 15:15
  time,
• 15:16
  seemed
• 15:17
  very
• 15:18
  kind
• 15:18
  and
• 15:18
  sweet,
• 15:19
  and
• 15:22
  things
• 15:22
  moved
• 15:23
  very
• 15:23
  quickly.
• 15:24
  And
• 15:24
  within
• 15:24
  six
• 15:24
  weeks,
• 15:25
  I
• 15:25
  was
• 15:25
  living
• 15:25
  with
• 15:26
  him,
• 15:27
  only
• 15:27
  to
• 15:27
  find
• 15:28
  out
• 15:28
  that
• 15:28
  he
• 15:28
  was
• 15:28
  a
• 15:28
  cocaine
• 15:29
  addict.
• 15:32
  As
• 15:32
  I
• 15:32
  was
• 15:33
  on
• 15:33
  a
• 15:33
  full
• 15:33
  scholarship,
• 15:34
  I
• 15:34
  had
• 15:34
  access
• 15:35
  to
• 15:36
  money,
• 15:37
  a
• 15:38
  lot
• 15:38
  of
• 15:38
  money,
• 15:39
  and
• 15:39
  he
• 15:39
  managed
• 15:40
  to
• 15:40
  drain
• 15:41
  me
• 15:41
  of
• 15:42
  ms,
• 15:42
  every
• 15:42
  dime
• 15:43
  that
• 15:43
  I
• 15:43
  had.
• 15:46
  And
• 15:46
  that
• 15:46
  relationship
• 15:47
  ended
• 15:47
  when
• 15:47
  I
• 15:47
  found
• 15:47
  out
• 15:48
  that
• 15:48
  he
• 15:48
  had
• 15:48
  a
• 15:48
  wife.
• 15:49
  And
• 15:50
  that
• 15:50
  was
• 15:50
  after
• 15:51
  being
• 15:51
  with
• 15:51
  him
• 15:51
  for
• 15:52
  nearly
• 15:52
  three
• 15:52
  years.
• 15:53
  So,
• 15:54
  again,
• 15:54
  I'm
• 15:54
  left
• 15:54
  at
• 15:55
  this
• 15:55
  space
• 15:55
  of
• 15:56
  I
• 15:56
  need
• 15:56
  to
• 15:56
  rebuild
• 15:57
  my
• 15:57
  life.
• 15:57
  I
• 15:58
  don't
• 15:58
  really
• 15:58
  know
• 15:58
  how
• 15:59
  to.
• 15:59
  And
• 15:59
  I
• 16:00
  feel
• 16:00
  ashamed
• 16:01
  for
• 16:01
  all
• 16:01
  of
• 16:01
  the
• 16:01
  things
• 16:01
  that
• 16:02
  I've
• 16:02
  been
• 16:02
  through.
• 16:03
  And
• 16:03
  I
• 16:03
  ended
• 16:03
  up
• 16:04
  moving
• 16:04
  back
• 16:04
  to
• 16:04
  Bermuda,
• 16:05
  focusing
• 16:05
  on
• 16:05
  my
• 16:05
  career.
• 16:06
  I
• 16:06
  was
• 16:06
  in
• 16:06
  commercial
• 16:07
  insurance,
• 16:09
  and
• 16:09
  things
• 16:10
  were
• 16:10
  going
• 16:10
  well
• 16:10
  again.
• 16:11
  And
• 16:11
  this
• 16:11
  time,
• 16:11
  I
• 16:12
  really
• 16:12
  was
• 16:12
  focused
• 16:13
  on
• 16:13
  my
• 16:13
  healing.
• 16:14
  I
• 16:14
  had
• 16:15
  gotten
• 16:15
  every
• 16:16
  book
• 16:16
  that
• 16:16
  Iyanla
• 16:17
  Venzant
• 16:17
  owned
• 16:18
  at
• 16:18
  this
• 16:18
  time.
• 16:19
  She
• 16:19
  had
• 16:19
  just
• 16:20
  released
• 16:20
  Peace
• 16:21
  from
• 16:21
  Broken
• 16:22
  Pieces.
• 16:22
  And
• 16:23
  I
• 16:23
  delved
• 16:23
  into
• 16:24
  that
• 16:24
  book
• 16:24
  like
• 16:25
  it
• 16:25
  was
• 16:25
  my
• 16:26
  lifesaver.
• 16:28
  And
• 16:28
  I
• 16:28
  really
• 16:29
  started
• 16:29
  working
• 16:29
  on
• 16:29
  me.
• 16:30
  I
• 16:30
  really
• 16:30
  started
• 16:32
  going
• 16:33
  back
• 16:33
  and
• 16:33
  reflecting
• 16:34
  on
• 16:34
  all
• 16:34
  of
• 16:34
  the
• 16:34
  experiences
• 16:35
  that
• 16:35
  I
• 16:35
  had
• 16:36
  and
• 16:36
  trying
• 16:36
  to
• 16:37
  rewrite
• 16:37
  my
• 16:37
  narrative
• 16:38
  and
• 16:39
  do
• 16:39
  things
• 16:39
  a
• 16:39
  little
• 16:40
  different.
• 16:41
  And
• 16:42
  then
• 16:42
  I
• 16:42
  met
• 16:42
  this
• 16:43
  guy.
• 16:46
  And.
• 16:46
  Again,
• 16:47
  it
• 16:47
  was
• 16:47
  like
• 16:49
  this
• 16:50
  utopia,
• 16:52
  this
• 16:52
  Hallmark
• 16:53
  movie
• 16:54
  that
• 16:55
  was
• 16:55
  happening.
• 16:56
  Another
• 16:57
  relationship
• 16:57
  that
• 16:58
  moved
• 16:58
  very
• 16:58
  quickly.
• 16:59
  Within
• 16:59
  four
• 17:00
  weeks,
• 17:00
  we
• 17:00
  were
• 17:00
  living
• 17:01
  together.
• 17:03
  And
• 17:03
  then
• 17:03
  one
• 17:04
  of
• 17:04
  his
• 17:04
  family
• 17:04
  members
• 17:05
  died,
• 17:06
  and
• 17:06
  he
• 17:07
  relapsed
• 17:08
  on
• 17:08
  crack
• 17:08
  cocaine.
• 17:10
  So
• 17:10
  you
• 17:10
  just.
• 17:11
  You
• 17:11
  just
• 17:11
  went
• 17:11
  through
• 17:11
  a
• 17:12
  lifetime
• 17:12
  and
• 17:12
  knowing
• 17:12
  how
• 17:13
  to
• 17:13
  pick
• 17:13
  them,
• 17:13
  right?
• 17:13
  But
• 17:14
  it's
• 17:14
  not.
• 17:14
  It's
• 17:14
  not
• 17:15
  even
• 17:15
  that
• 17:15
  you
• 17:15
  didn't
• 17:16
  know
• 17:16
  how
• 17:16
  to
• 17:16
  pick
• 17:17
  them.
• 17:17
  It's
• 17:17
  that
• 17:18
  you
• 17:19
  were.
• 17:19
  That's
• 17:19
  how
• 17:19
  you
• 17:20
  were
• 17:20
  wired
• 17:20
  because
• 17:21
  of
• 17:21
  your
• 17:21
  living,
• 17:21
  your
• 17:21
  parents.
• 17:22
  It
• 17:22
  didn't
• 17:22
  start
• 17:22
  with
• 17:23
  that
• 17:23
  first
• 17:24
  guy
• 17:24
  when
• 17:24
  you
• 17:24
  were
• 17:24
  14.
• 17:25
  It
• 17:25
  started
• 17:25
  with
• 17:26
  the
• 17:27
  neglect
• 17:27
  for
• 17:27
  years
• 17:28
  and
• 17:28
  years
• 17:28
  and
• 17:28
  years
• 17:29
  with
• 17:29
  your
• 17:29
  parents.
• 17:30
  So
• 17:30
  you
• 17:30
  had
• 17:30
  this,
• 17:31
  like,
• 17:31
  insane,
• 17:31
  insatiable
• 17:33
  at,
• 17:34
  like,
• 17:34
  in,
• 17:35
  like,
• 17:35
  needing
• 17:36
  to
• 17:36
  be
• 17:36
  loved.
• 17:37
  So
• 17:37
  of
• 17:37
  course,
• 17:39
  every
• 17:39
  relationship
• 17:40
  is
• 17:40
  going
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  go
• 17:41
  fast.
• 17:41
  Everybody
• 17:42
  is
• 17:42
  going
• 17:42
  to
• 17:42
  be
• 17:42
  your
• 17:42
  knight
• 17:42
  in
• 17:43
  shining
• 17:43
  armor.
• 17:44
  You
• 17:44
  know,
• 17:44
  I
• 17:44
  mean,
• 17:44
  people
• 17:45
  ask
• 17:45
  me,
• 17:45
  well,
• 17:46
  why
• 17:46
  did
• 17:46
  you
• 17:46
  marry
• 17:46
  him?
• 17:46
  Or
• 17:47
  why
• 17:47
  were
• 17:47
  you
• 17:47
  with
• 17:47
  him?
• 17:48
  And
• 17:48
  I'm
• 17:48
  like,
• 17:48
  because
• 17:48
  it's
• 17:48
  the
• 17:48
  first
• 17:49
  person
• 17:49
  that
• 17:49
  I
• 17:49
  thought
• 17:50
  truly
• 17:50
  loved
• 17:50
  me.
• 17:51
  Like,
• 17:51
  I
• 17:52
  can
• 17:52
  remember
• 17:52
  saying
• 17:53
  those
• 17:53
  exact
• 17:53
  words.
• 17:54
  And
• 17:54
  like
• 17:54
  I
• 17:54
  said,
• 17:55
  now
• 17:55
  you're
• 17:55
  looking
• 17:55
  back
• 17:56
  at
• 17:56
  it.
• 17:56
  Because
• 17:56
  I
• 17:56
  want
• 17:56
  to
• 17:56
  jump
• 17:57
  into
• 17:57
  what
• 17:57
  you
• 17:57
  did
• 17:58
  to
• 17:59
  heal
• 18:00
  what
• 18:00
  you
• 18:00
  did
• 18:00
  to,
• 18:00
  you
• 18:01
  know,
• 18:01
  to
• 18:02
  move
• 18:02
  and
• 18:03
  to.
• 18:03
  And
• 18:03
  to
• 18:03
  shake
• 18:04
  and
• 18:04
  to
• 18:04
  become
• 18:05
  the
• 18:05
  happy
• 18:05
  person
• 18:05
  that
• 18:06
  you
• 18:06
  are
• 18:06
  now.
• 18:07
  Yeah.
• 18:07
  So
• 18:08
  it
• 18:09
  happened
• 18:09
  after
• 18:10
  this
• 18:10
  crack
• 18:10
  cocaine
• 18:11
  relapse.
• 18:12
  So
• 18:13
  he
• 18:15
  had
• 18:16
  been
• 18:16
  stealing.
• 18:16
  He
• 18:16
  was
• 18:17
  a
• 18:17
  chef.
• 18:17
  He
• 18:17
  had
• 18:18
  been
• 18:18
  stealing
• 18:18
  from
• 18:18
  his
• 18:19
  job.
• 18:19
  One
• 18:20
  day
• 18:20
  he
• 18:20
  asked
• 18:20
  me
• 18:21
  to
• 18:21
  go
• 18:21
  to
• 18:21
  his
• 18:21
  job
• 18:22
  and
• 18:22
  pick
• 18:22
  up
• 18:22
  a
• 18:22
  bag.
• 18:24
  And
• 18:24
  I
• 18:25
  was
• 18:26
  oblivious
• 18:27
  to
• 18:27
  the
• 18:27
  fact
• 18:27
  that
• 18:28
  I
• 18:28
  was
• 18:28
  picking
• 18:28
  up
• 18:28
  stolen
• 18:29
  items.
• 18:31
  So
• 18:31
  the
• 18:31
  items,
• 18:32
  when
• 18:32
  I
• 18:32
  went
• 18:33
  to
• 18:33
  pick
• 18:33
  them
• 18:33
  up,
• 18:33
  I
• 18:33
  was
• 18:34
  surrounded
• 18:34
  by
• 18:34
  security.
• 18:35
  The
• 18:35
  items
• 18:36
  were
• 18:36
  removed
• 18:37
  from
• 18:37
  me,
• 18:37
  and
• 18:37
  I
• 18:38
  went
• 18:38
  on
• 18:38
  with
• 18:39
  my
• 18:39
  day.
• 18:40
  He
• 18:40
  was
• 18:40
  arrested.
• 18:41
  He
• 18:42
  lost
• 18:42
  his
• 18:42
  job,
• 18:42
  and
• 18:43
  I
• 18:43
  thought
• 18:43
  nothing
• 18:43
  else
• 18:44
  of
• 18:44
  it
• 18:44
  until
• 18:45
  about
• 18:45
  three
• 18:45
  weeks
• 18:45
  later,
• 18:46
  the
• 18:47
  receptionist
• 18:48
  at
• 18:48
  my
• 18:48
  job
• 18:49
  called
• 18:49
  me
• 18:49
  to
• 18:49
  tell
• 18:50
  me
• 18:50
  that
• 18:50
  the
• 18:50
  police
• 18:50
  were
• 18:51
  there.
• 18:52
  And
• 18:52
  I
• 18:52
  was
• 18:52
  arrested
• 18:53
  for
• 18:54
  handling
• 18:54
  sterling
• 18:55
  goods.
• 18:56
  So
• 18:57
  I'm
• 18:57
  now
• 18:58
  at
• 18:58
  the
• 18:58
  jail
• 19:00
  with
• 19:00
  my
• 19:00
  one
• 19:00
  call.
• 19:01
  I
• 19:01
  called
• 19:02
  my
• 19:02
  mother
• 19:03
  and
• 19:04
  I
• 19:04
  said,
• 19:04
  listen,
• 19:04
  I
• 19:04
  need
• 19:05
  you
• 19:05
  to
• 19:05
  go
• 19:05
  get
• 19:05
  me
• 19:05
  a
• 19:05
  lawyer.
• 19:07
  And
• 19:07
  she
• 19:08
  did
• 19:08
  one
• 19:08
  better
• 19:08
  than
• 19:09
  that.
• 19:09
  She
• 19:09
  came
• 19:09
  to
• 19:10
  visit.
• 19:11
  But
• 19:12
  in
• 19:12
  that
• 19:12
  visit,
• 19:13
  she
• 19:13
  asked
• 19:13
  me
• 19:14
  a
• 19:14
  single
• 19:14
  question.
• 19:16
  She
• 19:16
  said,
• 19:18
  why
• 19:18
  do
• 19:18
  you
• 19:18
  love
• 19:18
  everyone
• 19:19
  else
• 19:19
  more
• 19:20
  than
• 19:20
  you
• 19:20
  love
• 19:20
  yourself?
• 19:23
  And
• 19:23
  that
• 19:23
  was
• 19:23
  like
• 19:24
  a
• 19:24
  Mike
• 19:24
  Tyson
• 19:25
  body
• 19:25
  blue.
• 19:26
  It
• 19:26
  winded
• 19:27
  me.
• 19:28
  I
• 19:28
  didn't
• 19:28
  have
• 19:29
  an
• 19:29
  explanation.
• 19:30
  I
• 19:30
  ended
• 19:31
  up
• 19:31
  going
• 19:31
  back
• 19:31
  to
• 19:31
  my
• 19:32
  sal
• 19:33
  and
• 19:33
  sitting
• 19:33
  with
• 19:34
  the
• 19:34
  fact
• 19:34
  that
• 19:35
  she
• 19:36
  was
• 19:36
  right.
• 19:37
  And
• 19:37
  while
• 19:38
  I
• 19:38
  wasn't
• 19:38
  responsible,
• 19:39
  I
• 19:39
  wasn't
• 19:40
  solely
• 19:40
  responsible
• 19:41
  for
• 19:41
  why
• 19:41
  I
• 19:42
  was
• 19:42
  in
• 19:42
  that
• 19:42
  jail
• 19:43
  that
• 19:43
  day.
• 19:44
  Because
• 19:44
  I
• 19:44
  hadn't
• 19:45
  stood
• 19:45
  in
• 19:45
  anything.
• 19:47
  My
• 19:47
  decisions
• 19:48
  were
• 19:49
  the
• 19:49
  reason
• 19:49
  why
• 19:49
  I
• 19:50
  was
• 19:50
  there.
• 19:51
  I
• 19:52
  made
• 19:52
  that
• 19:52
  decision
• 19:53
  to
• 19:54
  stay
• 19:54
  in
• 19:55
  a
• 19:55
  relationship
• 19:55
  with
• 19:56
  someone
• 19:56
  who
• 19:56
  was
• 19:56
  using
• 19:57
  crack
• 19:57
  cocaine.
• 19:59
  I
• 19:59
  made
• 19:59
  the
• 19:59
  decision
• 20:00
  to
• 20:01
  not
• 20:01
  ask
• 20:01
  questions
• 20:02
  when
• 20:02
  he
• 20:02
  asked
• 20:03
  me
• 20:03
  to
• 20:03
  do
• 20:03
  things.
• 20:04
  I
• 20:05
  made
• 20:05
  that
• 20:05
  decision,
• 20:06
  and
• 20:06
  I
• 20:07
  had
• 20:07
  to
• 20:07
  earn
• 20:07
  it.
• 20:09
  So
• 20:10
  after
• 20:10
  I
• 20:10
  got
• 20:10
  released
• 20:11
  from
• 20:11
  jail,
• 20:12
  no
• 20:12
  charges
• 20:13
  were
• 20:13
  ever
• 20:13
  filed.
• 20:14
  I
• 20:15
  found
• 20:15
  myself
• 20:16
  a
• 20:16
  coach.
• 20:17
  And
• 20:18
  I
• 20:18
  knew
• 20:19
  that
• 20:19
  if
• 20:19
  I
• 20:19
  didn't
• 20:19
  change
• 20:20
  the
• 20:20
  way
• 20:20
  that
• 20:21
  I
• 20:21
  was
• 20:21
  showing
• 20:21
  up
• 20:21
  in
• 20:21
  life,
• 20:22
  I
• 20:22
  would
• 20:22
  end
• 20:23
  up
• 20:23
  in
• 20:23
  jail
• 20:23
  permanently.
• 20:24
  And
• 20:24
  that
• 20:25
  wasn't
• 20:25
  something
• 20:25
  that
• 20:25
  I
• 20:26
  wanted
• 20:26
  to
• 20:26
  do.
• 20:27
  Working
• 20:28
  with
• 20:28
  the
• 20:28
  coach,
• 20:29
  she
• 20:29
  was
• 20:29
  a
• 20:29
  very
• 20:31
  straightforward,
• 20:32
  straight
• 20:33
  Shooter,
• 20:33
  no
• 20:33
  fluff,
• 20:34
  similar
• 20:34
  to
• 20:35
  me.
• 20:36
  And
• 20:36
  she
• 20:37
  constantly
• 20:38
  held
• 20:39
  a
• 20:39
  mirror
• 20:40
  to
• 20:40
  my
• 20:40
  narrative.
• 20:42
  She
• 20:42
  let
• 20:43
  me
• 20:43
  see
• 20:43
  that
• 20:43
  I
• 20:44
  was
• 20:44
  very
• 20:44
  comfortable
• 20:45
  with
• 20:45
  the
• 20:45
  victim
• 20:46
  hat
• 20:46
  that
• 20:46
  I
• 20:46
  had
• 20:46
  placed
• 20:47
  on
• 20:47
  my
• 20:47
  head,
• 20:48
  and
• 20:48
  that
• 20:48
  by
• 20:49
  being
• 20:49
  a
• 20:49
  victim,
• 20:50
  that
• 20:50
  I
• 20:50
  was
• 20:50
  given
• 20:50
  away
• 20:51
  my
• 20:51
  control.
• 20:52
  And
• 20:52
  that
• 20:53
  helped
• 20:53
  me
• 20:53
  to
• 20:53
  change
• 20:54
  my
• 20:54
  life.
• 20:55
  It
• 20:55
  helped
• 20:55
  me
• 20:55
  to
• 20:56
  take
• 20:56
  ownership
• 20:57
  of
• 20:57
  my
• 20:57
  life.
• 20:57
  Like,
• 20:57
  I'm
• 20:58
  not
• 20:58
  a
• 20:58
  victim.
• 20:59
  I
• 20:59
  have
• 20:59
  been
• 20:59
  victimized,
• 21:01
  but
• 21:01
  I've
• 21:01
  survived
• 21:02
  everything
• 21:02
  that
• 21:02
  I've
• 21:03
  been
• 21:03
  through.
• 21:03
  And
• 21:04
  it's
• 21:04
  created
• 21:05
  such
• 21:05
  a
• 21:05
  strong
• 21:05
  woman
• 21:06
  who
• 21:06
  had
• 21:06
  to
• 21:06
  navigate
• 21:07
  life
• 21:08
  completely
• 21:08
  alone.
• 21:09
  Yeah,
• 21:10
  my
• 21:10
  mom
• 21:10
  was
• 21:11
  present,
• 21:12
  but
• 21:13
  her
• 21:13
  actions
• 21:14
  were
• 21:14
  the
• 21:14
  reason
• 21:15
  why
• 21:15
  I
• 21:15
  had
• 21:15
  experienced
• 21:16
  so
• 21:17
  much
• 21:17
  at
• 21:18
  such
• 21:18
  a
• 21:18
  young
• 21:18
  age.
• 21:19
  And
• 21:19
  I
• 21:20
  just
• 21:20
  had
• 21:20
  to
• 21:22
  put
• 21:22
  in
• 21:23
  the
• 21:23
  work
• 21:24
  to
• 21:24
  shift
• 21:24
  my
• 21:25
  narrative,
• 21:25
  to
• 21:25
  shift
• 21:26
  the
• 21:26
  way
• 21:26
  that
• 21:26
  I
• 21:26
  thought
• 21:27
  about
• 21:27
  myself,
• 21:28
  to
• 21:28
  shift
• 21:28
  the
• 21:28
  way
• 21:28
  that
• 21:29
  I
• 21:29
  thought
• 21:29
  about
• 21:29
  my
• 21:29
  circumstances,
• 21:30
  to
• 21:31
  shift
• 21:31
  the
• 21:31
  way
• 21:31
  that
• 21:31
  I
• 21:32
  thought
• 21:32
  about
• 21:32
  my
• 21:32
  future.
• 21:33
  And
• 21:34
  that
• 21:34
  allowed
• 21:35
  me
• 21:35
  to
• 21:35
  shift
• 21:36
  my
• 21:36
  life.
• 21:37
  So
• 21:37
  I
• 21:38
  end
• 21:38
  up
• 21:38
  leaving
• 21:38
  Bermuda
• 21:39
  and
• 21:39
  I
• 21:39
  moved
• 21:39
  to
• 21:39
  England.
• 21:41
  I
• 21:41
  spent
• 21:42
  time
• 21:42
  working
• 21:42
  on
• 21:42
  my
• 21:43
  career,
• 21:43
  but
• 21:43
  at
• 21:43
  the
• 21:44
  same
• 21:44
  time,
• 21:44
  I
• 21:44
  also
• 21:45
  got
• 21:46
  trauma
• 21:46
  informed.
• 21:47
  I
• 21:47
  also
• 21:48
  trained
• 21:49
  to
• 21:49
  be
• 21:49
  a
• 21:49
  coach.
• 21:50
  And
• 21:51
  after
• 21:52
  many,
• 21:52
  many
• 21:52
  years,
• 21:54
  I
• 21:54
  end
• 21:55
  up
• 21:55
  having
• 21:55
  children.
• 21:56
  And
• 21:57
  having
• 21:57
  those
• 21:57
  children
• 21:58
  really
• 21:58
  kind
• 21:58
  of
• 21:59
  put
• 21:59
  everything
• 21:59
  into
• 22:00
  perspective.
• 22:01
  First
• 22:01
  of
• 22:01
  all,
• 22:01
  I
• 22:02
  had
• 22:02
  to
• 22:02
  prioritize
• 22:03
  my
• 22:03
  healing
• 22:03
  because
• 22:04
  I
• 22:04
  don't
• 22:04
  want
• 22:04
  to
• 22:04
  mess
• 22:04
  up
• 22:05
  my
• 22:05
  kids
• 22:05
  the
• 22:05
  way
• 22:05
  that
• 22:06
  I
• 22:06
  was
• 22:06
  messed
• 22:06
  up
• 22:06
  up.
• 22:07
  But
• 22:07
  I
• 22:07
  also
• 22:07
  want
• 22:08
  to
• 22:08
  be
• 22:08
  able
• 22:08
  to
• 22:09
  be
• 22:09
  impactful
• 22:09
  in
• 22:10
  this
• 22:10
  world.
• 22:10
  It
• 22:10
  wasn't
• 22:10
  about
• 22:11
  making
• 22:11
  money
• 22:11
  for
• 22:12
  me
• 22:12
  anymore.
• 22:12
  It
• 22:13
  was
• 22:13
  about
• 22:13
  the
• 22:13
  impact
• 22:14
  that
• 22:14
  I
• 22:14
  was
• 22:14
  making.
• 22:15
  And
• 22:15
  I
• 22:15
  walked
• 22:16
  away
• 22:16
  from
• 22:16
  my
• 22:16
  nine
• 22:16
  to
• 22:17
  five
• 22:17
  and
• 22:17
  I
• 22:18
  started
• 22:18
  a
• 22:19
  business,
• 22:19
  which
• 22:19
  six
• 22:20
  years
• 22:20
  later,
• 22:20
  I'm
• 22:21
  still
• 22:21
  here
• 22:22
  doing
• 22:22
  my
• 22:22
  stuff
• 22:23
  and
• 22:24
  doing
• 22:25
  my
• 22:25
  best
• 22:26
  to
• 22:26
  leave
• 22:27
  my
• 22:27
  mark
• 22:27
  on
• 22:27
  the
• 22:28
  world.
• 22:29
  You
• 22:29
  know,
• 22:29
  I
• 22:30
  spent
• 22:30
  a
• 22:30
  lot
• 22:30
  of
• 22:30
  time
• 22:30
  talking
• 22:31
  about
• 22:31
  the
• 22:31
  residual
• 22:32
  impacts
• 22:32
  of
• 22:32
  trauma.
• 22:33
  I
• 22:33
  talk
• 22:33
  a
• 22:34
  lot
• 22:34
  about
• 22:34
  the
• 22:34
  survival
• 22:35
  identities
• 22:36
  that
• 22:36
  we
• 22:36
  pick
• 22:36
  up
• 22:37
  as
• 22:37
  a
• 22:37
  result
• 22:37
  of
• 22:38
  our
• 22:38
  experience.
• 22:39
  And
• 22:39
  I
• 22:39
  spoke
• 22:39
  about
• 22:39
  that
• 22:40
  because
• 22:40
  I
• 22:41
  feel
• 22:41
  like
• 22:41
  if
• 22:41
  I
• 22:42
  knew
• 22:43
  that
• 22:43
  half
• 22:44
  of
• 22:44
  the
• 22:45
  way
• 22:45
  that
• 22:45
  I
• 22:45
  carried
• 22:46
  myself
• 22:46
  was
• 22:47
  a
• 22:47
  trauma
• 22:47
  response,
• 22:48
  and
• 22:48
  I
• 22:49
  had
• 22:49
  the
• 22:49
  tools
• 22:50
  early
• 22:50
  on
• 22:50
  to
• 22:50
  change
• 22:51
  that,
• 22:51
  I
• 22:52
  think
• 22:52
  I
• 22:52
  would
• 22:52
  have
• 22:52
  been
• 22:52
  able
• 22:52
  to
• 22:53
  re
• 22:53
  my.
• 22:53
  Right,
• 22:53
  my.
• 22:54
  My
• 22:54
  story
• 22:55
  a
• 22:55
  lot
• 22:55
  earlier.
• 22:57
  So
• 22:58
  you
• 22:58
  would
• 22:58
  definitely.
• 22:59
  You
• 22:59
  would
• 23:00
  have
• 23:00
  definitely
• 23:00
  avoided
• 23:00
  a
• 23:01
  lot
• 23:01
  of
• 23:01
  the
• 23:01
  circumstances
• 23:02
  that
• 23:02
  you
• 23:02
  got
• 23:02
  into
• 23:03
  because
• 23:03
  you
• 23:03
  were
• 23:03
  making
• 23:04
  bad
• 23:04
  choices.
• 23:04
  Because
• 23:05
  that's
• 23:05
  what
• 23:05
  you.
• 23:06
  That's
• 23:06
  what
• 23:06
  we
• 23:06
  do.
• 23:07
  Like,
• 23:07
  that's,
• 23:07
  you
• 23:08
  know,
• 23:08
  with
• 23:08
  those
• 23:08
  trauma
• 23:09
  responses.
• 23:11
  Tell
• 23:11
  me,
• 23:12
  because
• 23:12
  I
• 23:12
  want
• 23:12
  the
• 23:12
  listeners
• 23:13
  to.
• 23:13
  I
• 23:14
  know
• 23:14
  we
• 23:14
  don't
• 23:14
  have
• 23:14
  a
• 23:15
  long,
• 23:15
  long
• 23:15
  time,
• 23:15
  but
• 23:16
  I
• 23:16
  want
• 23:16
  the
• 23:16
  listeners
• 23:16
  to
• 23:17
  really
• 23:17
  hear
• 23:18
  some
• 23:18
  tangible
• 23:19
  things.
• 23:19
  Like,
• 23:19
  what
• 23:20
  did
• 23:20
  you
• 23:20
  do?
• 23:20
  Like,
• 23:21
  I
• 23:21
  know
• 23:21
  you
• 23:21
  worked
• 23:21
  with
• 23:21
  a
• 23:21
  coach,
• 23:22
  but
• 23:22
  what
• 23:22
  were
• 23:22
  some
• 23:23
  of
• 23:23
  the
• 23:23
  steps
• 23:23
  she
• 23:23
  walked
• 23:24
  you
• 23:24
  through.
• 23:24
  I
• 23:24
  know
• 23:24
  you're
• 23:24
  using,
• 23:25
  like,
• 23:25
  the
• 23:25
  words
• 23:25
  that
• 23:26
  some
• 23:26
  people
• 23:26
  aren't
• 23:26
  even
• 23:27
  familiar
• 23:27
  with,
• 23:27
  like
• 23:27
  rewriting
• 23:28
  your
• 23:28
  narrative
• 23:29
  trauma.
• 23:29
  You
• 23:30
  know,
• 23:30
  how
• 23:30
  you're
• 23:30
  walking
• 23:31
  in
• 23:31
  your
• 23:31
  trauma
• 23:31
  response.
• 23:32
  Give
• 23:32
  me
• 23:33
  some
• 23:33
  examples
• 23:33
  of
• 23:33
  that.
• 23:34
  Yep.
• 23:35
  So
• 23:36
  a
• 23:36
  great
• 23:36
  example
• 23:37
  of
• 23:37
  a
• 23:38
  trauma
• 23:38
  response
• 23:38
  is
• 23:39
  our
• 23:39
  survival
• 23:40
  identity
• 23:41
  that
• 23:41
  I
• 23:41
  picked
• 23:41
  up
• 23:42
  as
• 23:42
  a
• 23:42
  people
• 23:42
  pleaser.
• 23:43
  I
• 23:44
  was
• 23:45
  terrified
• 23:46
  of
• 23:46
  making
• 23:47
  other
• 23:47
  people
• 23:47
  unhappy,
• 23:49
  so
• 23:49
  I
• 23:49
  did
• 23:49
  everything
• 23:50
  for
• 23:50
  everybody.
• 23:51
  Even
• 23:51
  when
• 23:52
  my
• 23:52
  soul
• 23:52
  was
• 23:53
  crying
• 23:53
  out
• 23:53
  no.
• 23:55
  One
• 23:55
  of
• 23:55
  the
• 23:55
  things
• 23:55
  that
• 23:56
  I
• 23:56
  learned
• 23:57
  was,
• 23:57
  yeah,
• 23:57
  that
• 23:58
  was
• 23:58
  a
• 23:58
  trauma
• 23:58
  response
• 23:59
  that
• 24:00
  was
• 24:00
  given
• 24:00
  to
• 24:00
  me
• 24:01
  early
• 24:01
  on
• 24:01
  by
• 24:02
  my
• 24:02
  relationship
• 24:02
  with
• 24:03
  my
• 24:03
  father.
• 24:04
  And
• 24:04
  it
• 24:04
  just
• 24:04
  grew,
• 24:05
  which
• 24:05
  allowed
• 24:06
  me
• 24:06
  to
• 24:06
  end
• 24:06
  up
• 24:06
  in
• 24:07
  these
• 24:07
  abusive
• 24:08
  relationships
• 24:09
  because
• 24:10
  I
• 24:10
  never
• 24:10
  stood
• 24:10
  up
• 24:11
  for
• 24:11
  myself.
• 24:11
  I
• 24:11
  didn't
• 24:12
  know
• 24:12
  how
• 24:12
  to
• 24:12
  advocate
• 24:12
  for
• 24:13
  myself.
• 24:14
  So
• 24:15
  understanding
• 24:16
  that
• 24:16
  and
• 24:16
  learning
• 24:16
  to
• 24:17
  rewrite
• 24:17
  the
• 24:17
  narrative
• 24:18
  as
• 24:18
  we
• 24:18
  spoke,
• 24:19
  it
• 24:19
  was
• 24:19
  me
• 24:20
  understanding
• 24:21
  that
• 24:21
  I
• 24:21
  didn't
• 24:21
  have
• 24:22
  to
• 24:22
  please
• 24:22
  anybody.
• 24:23
  I
• 24:23
  didn't
• 24:24
  have
• 24:24
  to
• 24:24
  show
• 24:24
  up
• 24:25
  for
• 24:25
  anybody
• 24:25
  other
• 24:25
  than
• 24:26
  myself.
• 24:27
  And
• 24:28
  learning
• 24:28
  that,
• 24:28
  like,
• 24:29
  I
• 24:29
  had
• 24:29
  to
• 24:29
  learn
• 24:30
  how
• 24:30
  to
• 24:30
  say
• 24:30
  no.
• 24:31
  No
• 24:31
  is
• 24:32
  a
• 24:32
  complete
• 24:32
  sentence
• 24:33
  that
• 24:33
  escaped
• 24:34
  me
• 24:34
  for
• 24:34
  many,
• 24:34
  many
• 24:35
  years.
• 24:36
  And
• 24:36
  it
• 24:36
  started.
• 24:36
  I'm
• 24:37
  sorry,
• 24:37
  I
• 24:37
  don't
• 24:37
  want
• 24:37
  to
• 24:38
  interrupt
• 24:38
  you,
• 24:38
  but
• 24:38
  it
• 24:38
  started
• 24:39
  way,
• 24:39
  way
• 24:39
  back
• 24:40
  when
• 24:40
  you
• 24:40
  said
• 24:40
  that
• 24:40
  you
• 24:41
  were
• 24:41
  raped
• 24:41
  at
• 24:41
  12,
• 24:42
  and
• 24:42
  then
• 24:42
  all
• 24:42
  of
• 24:42
  a
• 24:43
  sudden,
• 24:43
  you
• 24:43
  know,
• 24:44
  at
• 24:44
  14,
• 24:44
  you
• 24:45
  were
• 24:45
  active
• 24:45
  and
• 24:45
  active,
• 24:46
  and
• 24:46
  it
• 24:46
  was
• 24:46
  because
• 24:46
  of,
• 24:47
  you
• 24:47
  know,
• 24:47
  your
• 24:47
  need
• 24:48
  for
• 24:48
  attention
• 24:48
  and
• 24:49
  everything
• 24:49
  else.
• 24:49
  It
• 24:49
  was
• 24:49
  also
• 24:50
  from
• 24:50
  a
• 24:50
  need
• 24:50
  of
• 24:50
  lack
• 24:51
  of
• 24:51
  boundaries.
• 24:51
  You
• 24:52
  didn't
• 24:52
  even
• 24:52
  know
• 24:52
  at
• 24:53
  that
• 24:53
  point.
• 24:53
  You
• 24:53
  could
• 24:53
  probably
• 24:54
  say,
• 24:54
  no,
• 24:54
  that's
• 24:55
  what
• 24:55
  happened
• 24:55
  to
• 24:55
  me.
• 24:55
  That
• 24:56
  was.
• 24:56
  And
• 24:56
  then
• 24:56
  at
• 24:57
  that
• 24:57
  point,
• 24:57
  by
• 24:57
  the
• 24:57
  time
• 24:58
  it's
• 24:58
  been
• 24:58
  like,
• 24:58
  oh,
• 24:59
  whatever,
• 25:00
  then
• 25:00
  it's
• 25:00
  like,
• 25:00
  you
• 25:00
  have
• 25:00
  such
• 25:01
  little
• 25:01
  respect
• 25:01
  and
• 25:02
  so
• 25:02
  much
• 25:02
  shame
• 25:02
  and
• 25:02
  little
• 25:03
  respect
• 25:03
  for
• 25:03
  your
• 25:04
  body.
• 25:04
  It
• 25:04
  just
• 25:04
  doesn't
• 25:05
  even
• 25:05
  matter.
• 25:06
  But
• 25:06
  that.
• 25:06
  That
• 25:07
  is.
• 25:07
  That
• 25:08
  starts
• 25:09
  so
• 25:09
  young.
• 25:09
  And
• 25:10
  it
• 25:10
  all
• 25:11
  ties
• 25:11
  together,
• 25:11
  all
• 25:12
  the
• 25:12
  people
• 25:12
  pleasing
• 25:12
  and
• 25:13
  the
• 25:13
  boundaries.
• 25:13
  And
• 25:13
  I
• 25:14
  mean,
• 25:14
  it's.
• 25:14
  I
• 25:14
  love
• 25:14
  what
• 25:15
  you.
• 25:15
  And
• 25:15
  that's
• 25:15
  why
• 25:15
  I
• 25:15
  do
• 25:16
  what
• 25:16
  I
• 25:16
  do.
• 25:16
  Because
• 25:16
  it's
• 25:17
  like,
• 25:17
  oh,
• 25:17
  my
• 25:18
  gosh,
• 25:18
  if
• 25:18
  we
• 25:18
  had
• 25:18
  known,
• 25:19
  or
• 25:20
  at
• 25:20
  20,
• 25:20
  if
• 25:20
  somebody
• 25:21
  had
• 25:21
  told
• 25:21
  me
• 25:21
  these
• 25:22
  things,
• 25:22
  not
• 25:22
  56,
• 25:23
  like,
• 25:23
  I
• 25:23
  don't
• 25:24
  want
• 25:24
  people
• 25:24
  to
• 25:24
  be
• 25:24
  55,
• 25:25
  56,
• 25:25
  and
• 25:26
  going,
• 25:26
  wow,
• 25:27
  all
• 25:27
  this
• 25:27
  is
• 25:27
  still
• 25:28
  following
• 25:28
  me.
• 25:31
  Exactly.
• 25:31
  And
• 25:32
  it
• 25:32
  was
• 25:32
  just
• 25:33
  small
• 25:33
  things
• 25:33
  like
• 25:34
  that,
• 25:34
  chipping
• 25:34
  away
• 25:35
  at
• 25:35
  the
• 25:35
  survival
• 25:36
  identities
• 25:36
  that
• 25:37
  I
• 25:37
  had
• 25:37
  picked
• 25:37
  up,
• 25:38
  picking
• 25:38
  away
• 25:38
  at,
• 25:39
  you
• 25:39
  know,
• 25:39
  the
• 25:40
  trauma
• 25:40
  responses.
• 25:41
  I
• 25:41
  was
• 25:41
  highly
• 25:42
  defensive
• 25:43
  and
• 25:44
  not
• 25:44
  even
• 25:44
  understanding
• 25:45
  why,
• 25:45
  not
• 25:45
  even
• 25:46
  being
• 25:46
  in
• 25:46
  a
• 25:46
  place
• 25:46
  where
• 25:47
  I
• 25:47
  needed
• 25:47
  to
• 25:47
  be
• 25:47
  defensive.
• 25:48
  And
• 25:48
  I
• 25:48
  was
• 25:48
  on
• 25:49
  the
• 25:49
  fence,
• 25:50
  ready
• 25:50
  to,
• 25:51
  you
• 25:51
  know,
• 25:52
  ready
• 25:52
  to
• 25:52
  fight
• 25:52
  because,
• 25:53
  you
• 25:53
  know,
• 25:53
  the
• 25:53
  environments
• 25:54
  that
• 25:54
  I
• 25:54
  had
• 25:54
  been
• 25:55
  in
• 25:55
  led
• 25:56
  me
• 25:56
  to
• 25:56
  that
• 25:57
  place
• 25:57
  where
• 25:57
  I
• 25:57
  had
• 25:57
  to
• 25:58
  defend
• 25:58
  myself
• 25:58
  all
• 25:59
  the
• 25:59
  time.
• 26:00
  So
• 26:00
  it
• 26:00
  was
• 26:00
  really
• 26:01
  picking
• 26:01
  apart
• 26:02
  the
• 26:02
  negative
• 26:02
  parts
• 26:03
  of
• 26:03
  myself.
• 26:04
  And
• 26:04
  I
• 26:04
  don't
• 26:05
  say
• 26:05
  that
• 26:05
  as
• 26:05
  if
• 26:06
  it's
• 26:06
  a
• 26:06
  bad
• 26:06
  thing.
• 26:07
  We
• 26:07
  all
• 26:07
  have
• 26:08
  flaws,
• 26:09
  and
• 26:09
  really
• 26:09
  accepting
• 26:11
  my
• 26:11
  flaws,
• 26:12
  accepting
• 26:13
  my
• 26:13
  experience
• 26:14
  as
• 26:14
  well.
• 26:15
  And
• 26:15
  for
• 26:15
  a
• 26:15
  lot
• 26:15
  of
• 26:15
  people,
• 26:16
  the
• 26:16
  word
• 26:16
  acceptance
• 26:17
  is
• 26:17
  something
• 26:17
  that
• 26:17
  they
• 26:18
  are
• 26:18
  resisting
• 26:19
  against.
• 26:19
  It
• 26:19
  doesn't
• 26:20
  mean
• 26:20
  that
• 26:20
  I
• 26:20
  condone,
• 26:21
  but
• 26:21
  the
• 26:22
  issue
• 26:22
  was
• 26:22
  that
• 26:23
  I
• 26:23
  didn't
• 26:23
  accept
• 26:24
  the
• 26:24
  parts
• 26:25
  of
• 26:25
  me
• 26:25
  that
• 26:25
  actually
• 26:25
  made
• 26:26
  me
• 26:26
  me.
• 26:27
  And
• 26:27
  that
• 26:28
  was,
• 26:28
  you
• 26:29
  know,
• 26:29
  a
• 26:29
  lack
• 26:29
  of
• 26:29
  self
• 26:30
  love,
• 26:30
  a
• 26:30
  lack
• 26:30
  of
• 26:30
  self
• 26:31
  worth.
• 26:31
  It
• 26:32
  was
• 26:32
  coming
• 26:33
  to
• 26:33
  terms
• 26:34
  with
• 26:34
  the
• 26:34
  person
• 26:34
  that
• 26:35
  I
• 26:35
  was
• 26:36
  and
• 26:36
  getting
• 26:36
  to
• 26:37
  know,
• 26:37
  like,
• 26:38
  trust
• 26:39
  and
• 26:39
  accept
• 26:40
  her,
• 26:40
  which
• 26:41
  was
• 26:41
  huge
• 26:42
  in
• 26:42
  my
• 26:43
  recovery,
• 26:44
  in
• 26:44
  my
• 26:44
  healing,
• 26:45
  and
• 26:45
  in
• 26:46
  my
• 26:46
  journey
• 26:46
  forward.
• 26:47
  Oh,
• 26:48
  yeah.
• 26:48
  I
• 26:48
  can't
• 26:48
  even.
• 26:48
  I
• 26:49
  know.
• 26:49
  It's.
• 26:50
  It's
• 26:50
  crazy.
• 26:51
  And
• 26:51
  that's
• 26:51
  the
• 26:51
  hardest
• 26:52
  thing.
• 26:52
  And
• 26:52
  also,
• 26:53
  like
• 26:53
  you
• 26:54
  said,
• 26:54
  looking
• 26:54
  at
• 26:54
  your
• 26:55
  part
• 26:55
  in
• 26:55
  it,
• 26:55
  like,
• 26:55
  what
• 26:56
  are
• 26:56
  you
• 26:56
  doing
• 26:56
  in
• 26:56
  it?
• 26:57
  Because
• 26:58
  so
• 26:59
  often
• 26:59
  we
• 27:00
  just
• 27:00
  play
• 27:01
  the
• 27:01
  shame
• 27:01
  game,
• 27:02
  and
• 27:02
  it's
• 27:03
  not.
• 27:03
  You
• 27:03
  know,
• 27:03
  I
• 27:03
  always
• 27:04
  tell
• 27:04
  people,
• 27:04
  you're
• 27:05
  not
• 27:06
  becoming
• 27:06
  a
• 27:07
  new
• 27:07
  you.
• 27:07
  You're
• 27:08
  literally
• 27:08
  going
• 27:09
  back
• 27:09
  to
• 27:09
  the
• 27:09
  you
• 27:09
  that
• 27:10
  was
• 27:10
  you
• 27:10
  before.
• 27:11
  You
• 27:11
  were.
• 27:12
  I
• 27:12
  don't
• 27:12
  want
• 27:12
  to
• 27:12
  say
• 27:12
  damaged,
• 27:13
  but
• 27:13
  before
• 27:13
  you
• 27:13
  were
• 27:14
  betrayed
• 27:14
  and
• 27:14
  hurt
• 27:15
  and
• 27:15
  your
• 27:15
  lens
• 27:16
  of
• 27:16
  the
• 27:16
  world
• 27:16
  was
• 27:16
  completely
• 27:17
  shifted.
• 27:18
  You
• 27:18
  were
• 27:18
  that
• 27:19
  person.
• 27:19
  You're
• 27:19
  still
• 27:19
  that
• 27:20
  person.
• 27:20
  That's
• 27:20
  why
• 27:21
  I
• 27:21
  think
• 27:21
  it's
• 27:21
  so
• 27:22
  important
• 27:22
  for
• 27:22
  people,
• 27:22
  and
• 27:23
  you
• 27:23
  probably
• 27:23
  can
• 27:23
  agree
• 27:24
  with
• 27:24
  this,
• 27:24
  that
• 27:25
  it
• 27:25
  all
• 27:26
  comes
• 27:26
  from
• 27:26
  the
• 27:26
  inside.
• 27:27
  All.
• 27:28
  Everything,
• 27:29
  every
• 27:29
  single
• 27:29
  mindset
• 27:30
  shift
• 27:30
  has
• 27:31
  to
• 27:31
  be
• 27:31
  made
• 27:31
  from
• 27:31
  the
• 27:32
  inside
• 27:32
  out.
• 27:35
  Absolutely.
• 27:36
  It
• 27:36
  all
• 27:36
  starts
• 27:36
  at
• 27:36
  the
• 27:37
  end.
• 27:37
  And
• 27:37
  we
• 27:37
  all
• 27:37
  have
• 27:38
  everything
• 27:39
  that
• 27:39
  we
• 27:39
  need
• 27:40
  in
• 27:40
  order
• 27:40
  to
• 27:40
  move
• 27:41
  ourselves
• 27:41
  forward.
• 27:42
  It's
• 27:42
  about
• 27:42
  digging
• 27:42
  deep
• 27:43
  and
• 27:43
  trust
• 27:44
  in
• 27:44
  the
• 27:44
  process.
• 27:45
  Mm.
• 27:46
  Absolutely.
• 27:47
  What
• 27:47
  was
• 27:47
  your
• 27:47
  favorite.
• 27:48
  What
• 27:48
  was.
• 27:48
  Do
• 27:49
  you
• 27:49
  think
• 27:49
  your
• 27:49
  favorite
• 27:49
  tool
• 27:50
  in
• 27:50
  your
• 27:50
  healing
• 27:51
  process
• 27:51
  was?
• 27:52
  If
• 27:52
  you
• 27:52
  had
• 27:53
  to
• 27:53
  pick
• 27:53
  one?
• 27:54
  Definitely
• 27:54
  setting
• 27:55
  boundaries.
• 27:56
  That
• 27:57
  made
• 27:57
  it
• 27:57
  big
• 27:58
  for
• 27:58
  me.
• 27:59
  It
• 27:59
  allowed
• 28:00
  me
• 28:00
  to
• 28:01
  control
• 28:01
  my
• 28:02
  peace,
• 28:03
  which
• 28:03
  I
• 28:04
  never
• 28:04
  was
• 28:04
  able
• 28:04
  to
• 28:05
  do
• 28:05
  before.
• 28:07
  Absolutely.
• 28:07
  Yeah.
• 28:08
  And
• 28:08
  boundaries
• 28:08
  are
• 28:09
  absolutely
• 28:09
  everything.
• 28:09
  And
• 28:09
  people
• 28:10
  think
• 28:10
  boundaries
• 28:10
  are
• 28:11
  just
• 28:11
  saying
• 28:11
  no,
• 28:12
  but
• 28:12
  no.
• 28:12
  They're
• 28:12
  also
• 28:12
  saying,
• 28:13
  because
• 28:13
  when
• 28:14
  you're
• 28:14
  saying
• 28:14
  no
• 28:14
  to
• 28:15
  something
• 28:16
  else,
• 28:16
  you're
• 28:16
  saying
• 28:16
  yes
• 28:17
  to
• 28:17
  yourself.
• 28:17
  So
• 28:18
  boundaries
• 28:18
  could
• 28:18
  also
• 28:19
  just
• 28:19
  be
• 28:19
  the
• 28:19
  saying
• 28:19
  yes
• 28:20
  to
• 28:20
  yourself
• 28:20
  on
• 28:20
  an
• 28:21
  occasion.
• 28:22
  Sorry,
• 28:22
  my
• 28:22
  dog
• 28:22
  is
• 28:23
  barking.
• 28:23
  But.
• 28:25
  But
• 28:25
  can
• 28:26
  you
• 28:26
  hear
• 28:26
  her?
• 28:27
  You
• 28:27
  can
• 28:27
  see
• 28:28
  her,
• 28:28
  too.
• 28:28
  She's
• 28:28
  in
• 28:28
  the
• 28:28
  background
• 28:29
  barking
• 28:29
  her
• 28:29
  full
• 28:29
  head
• 28:30
  off.
• 28:30
  Molly,
• 28:30
  stop
• 28:31
  now.
• 28:31
  I
• 28:31
  can't
• 28:31
  hear
• 28:31
  her.
• 28:32
  But.
• 28:33
  But
• 28:34
  no,
• 28:34
  It's.
• 28:34
  There's
• 28:35
  so
• 28:35
  many.
• 28:35
  The
• 28:35
  boundaries
• 28:36
  was
• 28:36
  a
• 28:37
  huge,
• 28:37
  huge
• 28:38
  one,
• 28:38
  and
• 28:39
  that's
• 28:39
  a
• 28:39
  lifelong
• 28:39
  process,
• 28:40
  and
• 28:40
  that's
• 28:41
  something
• 28:41
  that,
• 28:42
  you
• 28:42
  know
• 28:42
  And
• 28:43
  I
• 28:43
  tell
• 28:43
  people
• 28:43
  it's
• 28:43
  not
• 28:44
  just.
• 28:44
  You
• 28:44
  don't
• 28:44
  just
• 28:45
  wake
• 28:45
  up
• 28:45
  one
• 28:45
  morning
• 28:45
  and
• 28:45
  say,
• 28:46
  oh,
• 28:46
  I'm
• 28:46
  going
• 28:46
  to
• 28:46
  say
• 28:46
  no.
• 28:46
  I'm
• 28:47
  going
• 28:47
  to
• 28:47
  say
• 28:47
  yes
• 28:47
  to
• 28:47
  myself
• 28:48
  and
• 28:48
  no
• 28:48
  to
• 28:48
  other
• 28:48
  things.
• 28:49
  It's
• 28:49
  a
• 28:50
  process
• 28:50
  of
• 28:51
  being,
• 28:52
  first
• 28:52
  of
• 28:52
  all,
• 28:52
  feeling
• 28:53
  worthy
• 28:53
  enough
• 28:53
  to
• 28:54
  set
• 28:54
  a
• 28:54
  boundary,
• 28:55
  knowing
• 28:56
  what
• 28:56
  even
• 28:56
  you
• 28:56
  want
• 28:57
  them
• 28:57
  set
• 28:57
  around.
• 28:58
  Because
• 28:59
  I
• 28:59
  don't
• 29:00
  know
• 29:00
  about
• 29:00
  you,
• 29:00
  but,
• 29:00
  like,
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  know
• 29:01
  when
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  was
• 29:01
  in
• 29:02
  the
• 29:02
  throes
• 29:02
  of
• 29:02
  that,
• 29:03
  in
• 29:03
  my
• 29:03
  teens,
• 29:04
  where
• 29:04
  I
• 29:04
  just
• 29:04
  had
• 29:05
  very
• 29:05
  little
• 29:06
  respect
• 29:06
  for
• 29:06
  myself,
• 29:07
  and
• 29:07
  I
• 29:07
  didn't
• 29:07
  even
• 29:08
  know
• 29:08
  what
• 29:08
  boundaries
• 29:10
  I
• 29:10
  could
• 29:10
  set
• 29:10
  or
• 29:11
  that
• 29:11
  I
• 29:11
  wanted
• 29:12
  to
• 29:12
  set.
• 29:13
  Absolutely.
• 29:14
  It's
• 29:15
  definitely
• 29:15
  a
• 29:15
  learning
• 29:16
  process,
• 29:16
  and
• 29:16
  it
• 29:16
  grows
• 29:17
  and
• 29:17
  it
• 29:17
  evolves
• 29:18
  as
• 29:18
  we
• 29:18
  grow
• 29:19
  and
• 29:20
  evolve.
• 29:21
  Yeah,
• 29:21
  absolutely.
• 29:23
  So
• 29:23
  I.
• 29:24
  This
• 29:24
  has
• 29:24
  been
• 29:24
  super
• 29:25
  fun.
• 29:25
  I
• 29:25
  could
• 29:25
  literally
• 29:26
  talk
• 29:26
  to
• 29:26
  you
• 29:26
  forever.
• 29:27
  But
• 29:27
  I
• 29:27
  want
• 29:27
  you
• 29:27
  to
• 29:27
  give.
• 29:28
  Okay,
• 29:28
  so
• 29:28
  boundaries
• 29:29
  is
• 29:29
  the
• 29:29
  one.
• 29:30
  Is
• 29:30
  one
• 29:30
  that
• 29:30
  was
• 29:31
  your
• 29:31
  biggest
• 29:31
  thing
• 29:31
  of
• 29:31
  setting
• 29:32
  boundaries?
• 29:32
  Do
• 29:32
  you
• 29:33
  have
• 29:33
  a
• 29:33
  practical
• 29:34
  tool?
• 29:34
  Like,
• 29:35
  if
• 29:36
  somebody
• 29:36
  is
• 29:36
  questioning
• 29:37
  or
• 29:37
  they're
• 29:37
  sitting
• 29:38
  here
• 29:38
  and
• 29:38
  they're
• 29:38
  resonating
• 29:39
  with
• 29:39
  this?
• 29:39
  Because
• 29:39
  so
• 29:40
  many
• 29:40
  of
• 29:40
  the
• 29:40
  people
• 29:40
  that
• 29:40
  listen
• 29:40
  to
• 29:41
  this
• 29:41
  podcast,
• 29:42
  they've
• 29:42
  never.
• 29:43
  They're
• 29:43
  just
• 29:43
  starting
• 29:44
  out
• 29:44
  on
• 29:44
  this
• 29:44
  journey.
• 29:45
  They're
• 29:45
  just
• 29:45
  now
• 29:46
  going,
• 29:46
  wow,
• 29:47
  I
• 29:47
  didn't
• 29:47
  even
• 29:47
  realize
• 29:48
  that
• 29:48
  followed
• 29:49
  me,
• 29:49
  and
• 29:49
  I
• 29:49
  didn't
• 29:49
  realize
• 29:50
  that,
• 29:51
  you
• 29:51
  know,
• 29:52
  I
• 29:52
  don't
• 29:52
  look
• 29:52
  people
• 29:53
  straight
• 29:53
  in
• 29:53
  the
• 29:53
  eye
• 29:53
  and
• 29:54
  my
• 29:54
  stomach
• 29:54
  clenches
• 29:55
  when
• 29:55
  I
• 29:55
  see
• 29:56
  a
• 29:56
  man.
• 29:56
  And,
• 29:56
  like,
• 29:56
  they
• 29:57
  don't
• 29:57
  realize
• 29:58
  that
• 29:58
  the
• 29:58
  stuff
• 29:59
  that
• 29:59
  happens
• 29:59
  as
• 29:59
  a
• 30:00
  child
• 30:00
  stays
• 30:00
  with
• 30:01
  you
• 30:01
  forever
• 30:01
  and
• 30:01
  ever
• 30:01
  until
• 30:02
  you
• 30:02
  deal
• 30:02
  with
• 30:02
  it.
• 30:03
  So
• 30:04
  what.
• 30:05
  What
• 30:05
  other
• 30:06
  tool?
• 30:06
  Give
• 30:06
  me
• 30:06
  a
• 30:06
  few
• 30:07
  more
• 30:07
  that
• 30:07
  you
• 30:07
  use.
• 30:07
  Like,
• 30:08
  I
• 30:08
  was
• 30:08
  huge
• 30:08
  with
• 30:09
  journaling.
• 30:10
  Yes,
• 30:11
  journaling
• 30:11
  is
• 30:12
  huge.
• 30:12
  I.
• 30:13
  I
• 30:13
  always
• 30:14
  say
• 30:14
  that,
• 30:14
  you
• 30:15
  know,
• 30:15
  get
• 30:16
  raw
• 30:16
  with
• 30:16
  yourself
• 30:17
  on
• 30:17
  a
• 30:17
  piece
• 30:18
  of
• 30:18
  paper.
• 30:18
  Like,
• 30:18
  that's
• 30:19
  the
• 30:19
  best
• 30:19
  way.
• 30:19
  I
• 30:20
  definitely
• 30:20
  journaled
• 30:21
  a
• 30:21
  lot.
• 30:22
  I
• 30:22
  have
• 30:22
  books
• 30:23
  and
• 30:23
  books
• 30:24
  and
• 30:24
  books,
• 30:24
  and
• 30:25
  every
• 30:25
  time,
• 30:25
  even
• 30:26
  still,
• 30:26
  that's
• 30:27
  one
• 30:27
  of
• 30:27
  the
• 30:28
  biggest
• 30:28
  tools
• 30:29
  that
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  use.
• 30:30
  I
• 30:30
  recently
• 30:31
  separated
• 30:32
  from
• 30:32
  my
• 30:32
  children's
• 30:33
  father,
• 30:34
  and
• 30:34
  I
• 30:35
  spent
• 30:36
  about
• 30:36
  a
• 30:36
  month
• 30:37
  just
• 30:37
  journaling
• 30:38
  all
• 30:38
  of
• 30:38
  my
• 30:38
  feelings
• 30:39
  and
• 30:39
  emotions
• 30:40
  in
• 30:40
  order
• 30:40
  for
• 30:41
  me
• 30:41
  to
• 30:41
  let
• 30:42
  go.
• 30:42
  The
• 30:42
  other
• 30:43
  thing
• 30:43
  is
• 30:43
  being
• 30:43
  honest.
• 30:44
  Oftentimes
• 30:45
  we're
• 30:45
  not
• 30:46
  honest.
• 30:46
  And
• 30:48
  this
• 30:48
  is
• 30:48
  being
• 30:49
  honest
• 30:49
  with
• 30:49
  ourselves.
• 30:50
  Right.
• 30:50
  Like,
• 30:51
  what
• 30:51
  is
• 30:52
  our
• 30:52
  intentions
• 30:53
  when
• 30:54
  we
• 30:54
  take
• 30:54
  action,
• 30:55
  especially
• 30:55
  when
• 30:56
  it
• 30:56
  involves
• 30:56
  other
• 30:57
  people.
• 30:57
  And
• 30:58
  oftentimes
• 30:58
  we
• 30:59
  don't
• 30:59
  sit
• 30:59
  back
• 31:00
  and
• 31:00
  we
• 31:00
  analyze
• 31:01
  that.
• 31:01
  So
• 31:01
  I
• 31:01
  think
• 31:02
  it's
• 31:02
  spending
• 31:03
  time
• 31:03
  getting
• 31:03
  honest
• 31:04
  about
• 31:04
  why
• 31:05
  we
• 31:05
  do
• 31:05
  the
• 31:05
  things
• 31:06
  that
• 31:06
  we
• 31:06
  do
• 31:07
  can
• 31:07
  help
• 31:07
  shift
• 31:08
  our
• 31:08
  actions
• 31:09
  into
• 31:09
  ones
• 31:10
  that
• 31:10
  are
• 31:10
  more
• 31:11
  aligned
• 31:11
  with
• 31:12
  where
• 31:12
  we
• 31:12
  want
• 31:12
  to
• 31:12
  go.
• 31:13
  And
• 31:14
  then
• 31:14
  lastly,
• 31:14
  it's,
• 31:15
  I
• 31:15
  think,
• 31:15
  getting
• 31:16
  clear
• 31:17
  on
• 31:18
  our
• 31:18
  core
• 31:19
  values.
• 31:20
  Amen.
• 31:21
  It's
• 31:22
  huge.
• 31:22
  Like
• 31:23
  that
• 31:23
  clarity
• 31:24
  then
• 31:24
  allows
• 31:25
  you
• 31:25
  to
• 31:26
  analyze
• 31:27
  how
• 31:28
  to
• 31:28
  take
• 31:28
  action.
• 31:29
  Right?
• 31:29
  Like
• 31:30
  there
• 31:30
  is
• 31:30
  nothing
• 31:31
  in
• 31:31
  my
• 31:31
  life
• 31:32
  that
• 31:32
  I
• 31:32
  do
• 31:32
  today
• 31:33
  that
• 31:33
  isn't
• 31:33
  aligned,
• 31:34
  aligns
• 31:34
  with
• 31:34
  my
• 31:34
  values.
• 31:35
  Not
• 31:36
  one
• 31:36
  thing.
• 31:37
  And
• 31:37
  before
• 31:38
  I
• 31:38
  embark
• 31:39
  on
• 31:39
  anything,
• 31:40
  there
• 31:41
  is
• 31:41
  this
• 31:41
  reflection
• 31:42
  on
• 31:43
  is
• 31:43
  this
• 31:43
  taking
• 31:44
  me
• 31:44
  closer
• 31:44
  to
• 31:44
  where
• 31:45
  I
• 31:45
  want
• 31:45
  to
• 31:45
  be
• 31:45
  and
• 31:46
  is
• 31:46
  this
• 31:46
  aligned
• 31:47
  with
• 31:47
  who
• 31:47
  I
• 31:47
  want
• 31:48
  to
• 31:48
  show
• 31:48
  up
• 31:48
  as?
• 31:49
  And
• 31:49
  if
• 31:49
  the
• 31:50
  answer
• 31:50
  is
• 31:50
  no,
• 31:50
  then
• 31:51
  the
• 31:51
  action
• 31:52
  is
• 31:52
  no
• 31:52
  as
• 31:52
  well.
• 31:53
  And
• 31:53
  I
• 31:53
  just
• 31:54
  think
• 31:54
  that's
• 31:54
  key.
• 31:55
  It's
• 31:55
  helped
• 31:55
  me
• 31:56
  not
• 31:57
  to
• 31:57
  get
• 31:57
  into
• 31:57
  circumstances
• 31:59
  which
• 31:59
  then
• 32:00
  can
• 32:00
  trigger
• 32:01
  me,
• 32:01
  which
• 32:01
  then
• 32:02
  can
• 32:03
  set
• 32:03
  me
• 32:03
  back.
• 32:04
  And
• 32:04
  it's
• 32:04
  just
• 32:04
  being
• 32:05
  honest
• 32:05
  about
• 32:05
  the
• 32:06
  life
• 32:06
  that
• 32:06
  I
• 32:06
  want
• 32:06
  to
• 32:06
  create
• 32:07
  for
• 32:07
  myself
• 32:08
  and
• 32:08
  showing
• 32:09
  up
• 32:09
  as
• 32:09
  that
• 32:09
  woman
• 32:10
  every
• 32:10
  single
• 32:10
  day
• 32:10
  of
• 32:11
  the
• 32:11
  week.
• 32:11
  Amen.
• 32:12
  I
• 32:12
  love
• 32:13
  that.
• 32:13
  And
• 32:13
  I
• 32:13
  call
• 32:14
  them
• 32:14
  my
• 32:14
  non
• 32:14
  negotiables.
• 32:15
  So
• 32:15
  it's
• 32:16
  like
• 32:16
  I
• 32:16
  know
• 32:16
  my
• 32:17
  ultimate
• 32:17
  path
• 32:17
  is
• 32:18
  just
• 32:18
  peace
• 32:18
  and
• 32:19
  harmony
• 32:19
  and
• 32:19
  living
• 32:20
  the
• 32:20
  life
• 32:20
  I
• 32:20
  want
• 32:20
  to
• 32:21
  live.
• 32:21
  So
• 32:21
  every
• 32:21
  time
• 32:22
  I
• 32:22
  have
• 32:22
  to
• 32:22
  make
• 32:22
  a
• 32:22
  decision,
• 32:23
  it's
• 32:23
  like,
• 32:24
  you
• 32:24
  know,
• 32:24
  everything.
• 32:24
  It's
• 32:25
  like,
• 32:25
  does
• 32:25
  it
• 32:25
  get
• 32:25
  me
• 32:25
  closer
• 32:26
  or
• 32:26
  does
• 32:26
  it
• 32:26
  get
• 32:26
  me
• 32:26
  farther
• 32:27
  away
• 32:27
  from
• 32:27
  that
• 32:27
  ultimate
• 32:28
  goal?
• 32:28
  If
• 32:28
  it
• 32:28
  gets
• 32:28
  me
• 32:29
  farther
• 32:29
  away,
• 32:29
  I
• 32:29
  don't
• 32:30
  care
• 32:30
  if
• 32:30
  it's
• 32:30
  a
• 32:31
  relationship
• 32:31
  I
• 32:31
  have
• 32:32
  to
• 32:32
  sever,
• 32:32
  I
• 32:32
  don't
• 32:32
  care
• 32:32
  if
• 32:33
  it,
• 32:33
  what
• 32:33
  it
• 32:33
  is,
• 32:34
  it's
• 32:34
  non
• 32:35
  negotiable.
• 32:35
  And
• 32:35
  then
• 32:36
  it,
• 32:36
  to
• 32:36
  me,
• 32:37
  it
• 32:37
  kind
• 32:37
  of
• 32:37
  takes
• 32:37
  the
• 32:37
  emotion
• 32:38
  out
• 32:38
  of
• 32:38
  it
• 32:38
  because
• 32:38
  I
• 32:38
  don't
• 32:39
  have
• 32:39
  to
• 32:39
  feel
• 32:39
  guilty
• 32:40
  about
• 32:40
  it,
• 32:40
  I
• 32:40
  don't
• 32:40
  have
• 32:41
  to
• 32:41
  feel
• 32:41
  sorry
• 32:41
  about
• 32:41
  it
• 32:42
  because
• 32:42
  honestly,
• 32:43
  I,
• 32:43
  like
• 32:44
  we
• 32:44
  said
• 32:44
  in
• 32:44
  the
• 32:44
  beginning,
• 32:45
  unapologetic,
• 32:46
  unapologetically
• 32:47
  authentic.
• 32:48
  So
• 32:48
  I
• 32:49
  don't
• 32:49
  owe
• 32:49
  anybody
• 32:50
  an
• 32:50
  explanation.
• 32:51
  You
• 32:51
  ever
• 32:51
  read
• 32:51
  Wayne
• 32:51
  Dyer?
• 32:53
  No.
• 32:54
  Oh,
• 32:54
  gosh,
• 32:54
  you
• 32:54
  have
• 32:55
  to
• 32:55
  read.
• 32:56
  You
• 32:56
  have
• 32:56
  to
• 32:56
  read
• 32:56
  Wayne
• 32:57
  Dyer.
• 32:57
  You
• 32:57
  will
• 32:57
  absolutely
• 32:58
  write
• 32:58
  that
• 32:58
  down.
• 32:58
  You
• 32:59
  absolutely
• 32:59
  love
• 32:59
  his
• 32:59
  book.
• 33:00
  I'm
• 33:00
  rereading
• 33:01
  one
• 33:01
  right
• 33:01
  now
• 33:01
  called
• 33:01
  the
• 33:02
  erroneous.
• 33:02
  Your
• 33:03
  erroneous
• 33:03
  zones,
• 33:04
  not
• 33:04
  erogenous.
• 33:05
  A
• 33:05
  lot
• 33:05
  of
• 33:05
  people
• 33:05
  get
• 33:05
  that
• 33:05
  mixed
• 33:06
  up
• 33:06
  and
• 33:06
  thinks
• 33:06
  it's
• 33:06
  a
• 33:06
  dirty
• 33:07
  book,
• 33:07
  but
• 33:07
  it's
• 33:08
  not.
• 33:08
  It's
• 33:08
  the
• 33:09
  erroneous
• 33:10
  zones.
• 33:11
  And
• 33:11
  that's
• 33:12
  one
• 33:12
  of
• 33:12
  the
• 33:12
  ones
• 33:12
  he
• 33:12
  talks
• 33:13
  about
• 33:13
  is,
• 33:14
  you
• 33:15
  know
• 33:15
  what?
• 33:16
  Just
• 33:17
  people
• 33:17
  pleasing.
• 33:17
  He
• 33:17
  talks
• 33:18
  a
• 33:18
  lot
• 33:18
  about
• 33:18
  that.
• 33:18
  But
• 33:19
  it's
• 33:19
  like
• 33:19
  just
• 33:19
  pillars
• 33:20
  of
• 33:20
  just
• 33:21
  fundamental
• 33:22
  concepts
• 33:22
  of
• 33:23
  life.
• 33:23
  And
• 33:23
  it
• 33:23
  was
• 33:23
  written
• 33:24
  many,
• 33:24
  many,
• 33:24
  many,
• 33:24
  many
• 33:25
  years
• 33:25
  ago.
• 33:26
  But
• 33:26
  it's
• 33:26
  such
• 33:27
  good
• 33:27
  wisdom
• 33:28
  because
• 33:28
  that's
• 33:28
  one
• 33:28
  of
• 33:29
  them
• 33:29
  is,
• 33:30
  you
• 33:30
  know,
• 33:31
  exactly
• 33:31
  what
• 33:31
  your
• 33:31
  mother
• 33:32
  said
• 33:32
  to
• 33:32
  you.
• 33:32
  When
• 33:33
  you
• 33:33
  say
• 33:33
  yes
• 33:34
  to
• 33:34
  somebody
• 33:34
  else
• 33:35
  instead
• 33:35
  of
• 33:35
  yourself,
• 33:36
  what
• 33:36
  you're
• 33:36
  basically
• 33:37
  saying
• 33:37
  is
• 33:37
  that
• 33:38
  you
• 33:38
  care
• 33:38
  about
• 33:38
  them
• 33:39
  more
• 33:39
  than
• 33:39
  you
• 33:39
  care
• 33:39
  about
• 33:39
  yourself.
• 33:41
  And
• 33:42
  I
• 33:42
  remember
• 33:43
  the
• 33:43
  day,
• 33:43
  I
• 33:43
  remember
• 33:44
  saying
• 33:44
  to
• 33:44
  someone.
• 33:44
  I
• 33:44
  say
• 33:44
  it
• 33:45
  to
• 33:45
  people
• 33:45
  all
• 33:45
  the
• 33:45
  time.
• 33:45
  Still.
• 33:46
  I
• 33:46
  just
• 33:46
  said
• 33:46
  it
• 33:47
  the
• 33:47
  other
• 33:47
  day
• 33:47
  when
• 33:47
  somebody
• 33:48
  was
• 33:48
  like,
• 33:48
  well,
• 33:48
  they.
• 33:48
  They
• 33:49
  didn't
• 33:49
  like
• 33:49
  that.
• 33:49
  They
• 33:49
  didn't
• 33:50
  like
• 33:50
  what
• 33:50
  you
• 33:50
  said.
• 33:50
  Blah.
• 33:50
  Bl.
• 33:51
  I
• 33:51
  was
• 33:51
  like,
• 33:52
  listen,
• 33:52
  what
• 33:52
  other
• 33:52
  people
• 33:53
  think
• 33:53
  of
• 33:53
  me
• 33:53
  is
• 33:53
  none
• 33:53
  of
• 33:53
  my
• 33:54
  business.
• 33:54
  Not
• 33:55
  one
• 33:55
  ounce
• 33:55
  of
• 33:56
  my
• 33:56
  business
• 33:56
  at
• 33:57
  that.
• 33:59
  Yep.
• 34:00
  I
• 34:00
  said,
• 34:00
  I
• 34:01
  know
• 34:01
  in
• 34:01
  my
• 34:01
  heart
• 34:02
  I
• 34:02
  have
• 34:02
  never
• 34:02
  maliciously
• 34:03
  ever
• 34:04
  hurt
• 34:04
  anybody
• 34:05
  in
• 34:05
  my
• 34:05
  life,
• 34:06
  so
• 34:06
  why
• 34:06
  should
• 34:06
  I
• 34:06
  apologize
• 34:07
  for
• 34:07
  anything
• 34:07
  I
• 34:08
  say
• 34:08
  or
• 34:08
  do?
• 34:08
  I
• 34:09
  should
• 34:09
  not,
• 34:11
  you
• 34:11
  know,
• 34:12
  So
• 34:13
  I
• 34:13
  love
• 34:13
  it.
• 34:13
  I
• 34:13
  love
• 34:14
  it.
• 34:14
  Well,
• 34:14
  Leticia,
• 34:15
  thanks
• 34:15
  so
• 34:16
  much
• 34:16
  for
• 34:16
  coming
• 34:16
  on.
• 34:16
  But
• 34:17
  before
• 34:17
  you
• 34:17
  leave,
• 34:18
  where
• 34:18
  can
• 34:18
  people
• 34:18
  find
• 34:19
  you?
• 34:19
  I
• 34:19
  know
• 34:20
  I
• 34:20
  love
• 34:21
  your
• 34:21
  coaching
• 34:21
  style.
• 34:22
  I'm
• 34:22
  sure
• 34:23
  it's
• 34:23
  very
• 34:23
  much
• 34:23
  probably
• 34:24
  like
• 34:24
  mine.
• 34:24
  I
• 34:25
  know
• 34:25
  my
• 34:25
  clients
• 34:26
  have
• 34:26
  said
• 34:26
  to
• 34:26
  me,
• 34:26
  you
• 34:26
  know,
• 34:27
  oh,
• 34:27
  I
• 34:27
  don't
• 34:27
  know.
• 34:27
  I
• 34:28
  will
• 34:28
  call
• 34:28
  you,
• 34:28
  and
• 34:28
  I
• 34:29
  know
• 34:29
  I
• 34:29
  need
• 34:29
  to
• 34:29
  hear
• 34:29
  what
• 34:30
  you
• 34:30
  have
• 34:30
  to
• 34:30
  say,
• 34:30
  but
• 34:30
  I
• 34:31
  don't
• 34:31
  always
• 34:31
  like
• 34:32
  it.
• 34:34
  But
• 34:34
  I
• 34:35
  wish.
• 34:35
  I
• 34:35
  wish
• 34:35
  someone
• 34:36
  had
• 34:36
  told
• 34:36
  me
• 34:36
  the
• 34:36
  hard
• 34:37
  things.
• 34:37
  I
• 34:37
  wish
• 34:37
  someone
• 34:38
  had
• 34:38
  told
• 34:38
  me,
• 34:39
  you
• 34:39
  know,
• 34:39
  in
• 34:40
  my
• 34:40
  early
• 34:40
  20s,
• 34:41
  when
• 34:41
  I
• 34:41
  was
• 34:41
  just
• 34:41
  starting
• 34:42
  to
• 34:42
  figure
• 34:42
  this
• 34:42
  out,
• 34:42
  I
• 34:43
  wish
• 34:43
  someone
• 34:43
  had
• 34:43
  said,
• 34:44
  hey,
• 34:45
  suck
• 34:45
  it
• 34:45
  up,
• 34:45
  buttercup.
• 34:46
  And
• 34:47
  you
• 34:47
  can't.
• 34:47
  You
• 34:47
  got
• 34:47
  to
• 34:48
  get
• 34:48
  out
• 34:48
  of
• 34:48
  the
• 34:48
  past.
• 34:48
  You
• 34:49
  got
• 34:49
  to
• 34:49
  start
• 34:49
  looking
• 34:49
  at
• 34:50
  choices
• 34:50
  now,
• 34:51
  and
• 34:51
  you
• 34:51
  got
• 34:51
  to
• 34:51
  start
• 34:52
  just
• 34:52
  making
• 34:52
  better
• 34:52
  decisions,
• 34:53
  period.
• 34:54
  Like,
• 34:54
  I
• 34:54
  wish
• 34:54
  someone
• 34:55
  had,
• 34:55
  like,
• 34:55
  slapped
• 34:55
  me
• 34:56
  in
• 34:56
  the
• 34:56
  side
• 34:56
  of
• 34:56
  the
• 34:56
  head
• 34:56
  and
• 34:57
  been
• 34:57
  like,
• 34:57
  get
• 34:57
  out
• 34:58
  of
• 34:58
  your
• 34:58
  pity.
• 34:58
  I
• 34:58
  mean,
• 34:59
  I
• 34:59
  just.
• 34:59
  Not
• 34:59
  that.
• 35:00
  Not
• 35:00
  that
• 35:00
  I'm
• 35:01
  talking
• 35:01
  to
• 35:01
  anybody
• 35:01
  out
• 35:02
  there,
• 35:02
  but
• 35:02
  I
• 35:02
  know
• 35:02
  what
• 35:02
  I
• 35:03
  needed.
• 35:03
  I
• 35:04
  needed
• 35:04
  a.
• 35:04
  I
• 35:04
  needed
• 35:05
  a
• 35:05
  strong
• 35:06
  person
• 35:06
  that
• 35:07
  was
• 35:07
  going
• 35:07
  to
• 35:08
  hold
• 35:08
  me
• 35:08
  with
• 35:08
  safety
• 35:09
  and
• 35:10
  compassion,
• 35:11
  but
• 35:12
  also
• 35:12
  give
• 35:13
  me
• 35:13
  the
• 35:13
  truth.
• 35:14
  And
• 35:14
  I
• 35:15
  feel
• 35:15
  like
• 35:15
  that's
• 35:15
  what
• 35:15
  you
• 35:16
  give.
• 35:16
  So
• 35:16
  how
• 35:16
  can
• 35:17
  people
• 35:17
  reach
• 35:17
  you?
• 35:18
  Absolutely.
• 35:19
  The
• 35:19
  best
• 35:19
  way
• 35:19
  to
• 35:20
  get
• 35:20
  in
• 35:20
  contact
• 35:20
  with
• 35:21
  me
• 35:21
  is
• 35:22
  via
• 35:22
  my
• 35:22
  website,
• 35:23
  latisharenaefrancis.com
• 35:26
  Ali
• 35:26
  T
• 35:26
  I
• 35:27
  C
• 35:27
  I
• 35:27
  A
• 35:28
  R
• 35:28
  E
• 35:28
  N
• 35:29
  E
• 35:29
  E
• 35:30
  F
• 35:30
  R
• 35:30
  A
• 35:31
  n
• 35:31
  c
• 35:31
  I
• 35:31
  s.com
• 35:33
  there
• 35:33
  you'll
• 35:33
  find
• 35:34
  information
• 35:35
  about
• 35:35
  my
• 35:36
  book,
• 35:36
  my
• 35:37
  podcast,
• 35:38
  my
• 35:38
  membership.
• 35:39
  I
• 35:39
  also
• 35:39
  have
• 35:40
  some
• 35:40
  free
• 35:40
  resources
• 35:41
  there
• 35:41
  for
• 35:42
  them
• 35:42
  as
• 35:42
  well.
• 35:43
  And
• 35:43
  then
• 35:44
  it
• 35:44
  gives
• 35:44
  you
• 35:44
  the
• 35:44
  link
• 35:44
  to
• 35:45
  my
• 35:45
  social
• 35:45
  media.
• 35:46
  Um,
• 35:47
  yeah.
• 35:47
  And
• 35:47
  that's
• 35:48
  the
• 35:48
  best
• 35:48
  way
• 35:48
  to
• 35:48
  get
• 35:48
  in
• 35:48
  contact
• 35:49
  with
• 35:49
  me.
• 35:50
  I
• 35:50
  love
• 35:50
  it.
• 35:50
  And
• 35:50
  I
• 35:50
  will
• 35:50
  put
• 35:51
  all
• 35:51
  that
• 35:51
  in
• 35:51
  the
• 35:51
  show
• 35:51
  notes
• 35:51
  so
• 35:52
  people
• 35:52
  don't
• 35:52
  have
• 35:52
  to
• 35:52
  drive
• 35:52
  and
• 35:53
  write
• 35:53
  and
• 35:53
  try
• 35:53
  to
• 35:54
  think
• 35:54
  about
• 35:54
  it.
• 35:54
  They
• 35:54
  can
• 35:55
  just
• 35:55
  get
• 35:55
  it
• 35:55
  in
• 35:55
  the
• 35:55
  show
• 35:56
  notes.
• 35:56
  And
• 35:56
  then
• 35:57
  before
• 35:57
  you
• 35:57
  go,
• 35:58
  I
• 35:58
  want
• 35:58
  you
• 35:58
  to
• 35:58
  leave
• 35:58
  the
• 35:59
  listeners
• 35:59
  with
• 35:59
  one
• 36:00
  more
• 36:00
  piece
• 36:00
  of
• 36:00
  advice.
• 36:01
  Some
• 36:01
  words
• 36:01
  to
• 36:01
  wisdom
• 36:02
  or
• 36:02
  something
• 36:03
  to
• 36:03
  just
• 36:03
  make
• 36:04
  their
• 36:04
  day
• 36:04
  a
• 36:04
  little
• 36:04
  better.
• 36:05
  Yeah,
• 36:06
  I.
• 36:07
  This
• 36:07
  is
• 36:07
  something
• 36:07
  I
• 36:07
  close
• 36:08
  up
• 36:08
  my
• 36:08
  my
• 36:08
  podcast
• 36:09
  with
• 36:09
  so
• 36:10
  I'm
• 36:10
  going
• 36:10
  to
• 36:10
  leave
• 36:10
  that
• 36:10
  with
• 36:11
  your
• 36:11
  audience.
• 36:12
  You
• 36:12
  were
• 36:13
  not
• 36:13
  built
• 36:13
  to
• 36:13
  break,
• 36:14
  but
• 36:15
  you
• 36:15
  damn
• 36:15
  sure
• 36:15
  were
• 36:16
  not
• 36:16
  built
• 36:16
  to
• 36:16
  just
• 36:17
  survive.
• 36:18
  So
• 36:19
  reclaim
• 36:20
  your
• 36:20
  life
• 36:21
  by
• 36:21
  disrupting
• 36:22
  the
• 36:22
  cycle
• 36:23
  and
• 36:23
  thriving
• 36:24
  on
• 36:24
  your
• 36:25
  own
• 36:25
  terms.
• 36:27
  Absolutely.
• 36:28
  Love
• 36:28
  it.
• 36:29
  Thank
• 36:29
  you
• 36:29
  so
• 36:30
  much,
• 36:30
  Leticia
• 36:30
  for
• 36:30
  coming
• 36:31
  on.
• 36:32
  Thank
• 36:32
  you
• 36:32
  for
• 36:32
  having
• 36:33
  me,
• 36:33
  Tammy.
• 36:34
  Yes,
• 36:35
  I
• 36:35
  really
• 36:35
  had
• 36:35
  a
• 36:36
  good
• 36:36
  time
• 36:36
  and
• 36:36
  for
• 36:36
  everybody
• 36:37
  out
• 36:37
  there
• 36:37
  listening,
• 36:37
  you
• 36:38
  heard
• 36:38
  it.
• 36:38
  You
• 36:39
  were
• 36:39
  not
• 36:40
  born
• 36:40
  to
• 36:40
  break.
• 36:40
  But
• 36:41
  start.
• 36:42
  Just
• 36:42
  start
• 36:42
  walking
• 36:43
  one
• 36:43
  step
• 36:43
  at
• 36:43
  a
• 36:44
  time.
• 36:44
  Start
• 36:44
  walking
• 36:44
  out
• 36:45
  and
• 36:45
  being
• 36:45
  you
• 36:46
  every
• 36:46
  time
• 36:47
  you
• 36:47
  have
• 36:47
  a
• 36:47
  choice.
• 36:47
  Just
• 36:48
  think
• 36:48
  about
• 36:48
  it.
• 36:48
  Just
• 36:49
  question
• 36:49
  yourself.
• 36:50
  Is
• 36:50
  this
• 36:50
  going
• 36:50
  to
• 36:50
  make
• 36:51
  me
• 36:51
  happier?
• 36:51
  Is
• 36:51
  this
• 36:51
  going
• 36:52
  to
• 36:52
  get
• 36:52
  me
• 36:52
  where
• 36:52
  I
• 36:52
  want
• 36:52
  to
• 36:53
  be
• 36:53
  or
• 36:53
  is
• 36:53
  this
• 36:53
  going
• 36:53
  to
• 36:53
  keep
• 36:54
  me
• 36:54
  stuck?
• 36:55
  Because
• 36:56
  stuck
• 36:56
  sucks.
• 36:59
  We
• 36:59
  do
• 37:00
  not
• 37:00
  want
• 37:00
  to
• 37:00
  be
• 37:00
  stuck.
• 37:01
  So
• 37:01
  you
• 37:01
  all
• 37:02
  have
• 37:02
  a
• 37:02
  wonderful
• 37:02
  and
• 37:03
  blessed
• 37:03
  day
• 37:03
  and
• 37:03
  we
• 37:03
  will
• 37:04
  see
• 37:04
  you
• 37:04
  back
• 37:04
  soon.
• 37:05
  Thanks,
• 37:06
  Tammy.
• 37:07
  You're
• 37:07
  welcome.