Latest / Real Money with Lisa Chastain / Defying the Odds: Missy Day's Journey of Resilience and Hope

Transcript

Defying the Odds: Missy Day's Journey of Resilience and Hope · Real Money with Lisa Chastain

0:05
Hey everyone, its Lisa. I'm so excited for today's guest
0:09
Missy day. I just love Missy and I know
0:12
that you will to today's conversation is all about real
0:15
money style. What's your story?
0:18
Let's get started, let's get started.
0:20
Hi, hi. Hi you guys, we've never liked
0:25
sat down and had a conversation like this before.
0:27
We never have is always been like in past.
0:30
Passing. Oh, and how are you?
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But I like, I love you. I love you too.
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I know. It's Missy.
0:36
It's Missy. We've been doing the thing in
0:38
Vegas for a long time together. When did you start your
0:41
business? Officially 2013.
0:43
Yeah. Okay, so you were on the scene a
0:45
little bit earlier than me. Were you how long have you been
0:48
in Vegas? We mature in 1993.
0:51
Okay? Cool.
0:53
So while yeah, you're technically locals, I mean
0:56
you're technically natives. If you've been here that long,
0:58
what does that not 30 years, right?
1:00
Yes. Yeah, the longest I've ever been
1:02
anywhere, ah, we're going to lean into your story about how
1:06
you, how you got here, what? For, for so many reasons.
1:10
I invited you on to the show today.
1:12
One, we were just in the same space and it clicked.
1:14
I was like oh my God I haven't had to see on the show yet.
1:15
So I wanted to invite you on the show but then like I told you
1:18
before the show this morning is that I heard you speak and At
1:22
nabo and you got really vulnerable and I don't even I
1:26
don't even exactly remember what the topic of it was, but I do
1:29
remember your story. So powerfully, oh my gosh.
1:32
Like, you're amazing. Well, thank you very much.
1:37
You are was on. I had been sharing my story.
1:39
I think that was, like, the third time I shared my story,
1:43
kind of connected it to what I was doing mmm-hmm.
1:46
And I remember remember the pink Forks.
1:48
Yeah, it was the first time I did the pink fork thing and so
1:51
I've done that ever since Since so, whenever I do a talk or
1:54
anything they have pink fork so they can put them in the air
1:57
because you know as a speaker it's nice to know when
2:00
somebody's actually you know resonating with what you're
2:02
saying. It's a lot easier than a Clap
2:04
That interrupts everything too. So it's like, hey I'm with you.
2:07
I hear you. Yeah, I love that.
2:09
So I want to take the listener on the, on your journey today
2:13
because you are on a mission for people to tell their story
2:17
before we start on that. On your actual story.
2:20
Will you introduce I do. A formal introductions, I have
2:24
my guests do their own introduction.
2:25
So will you introduce yourself to our listeners?
2:28
Of course. I'm a sick day and I'm a success
2:31
consultant and I have my own business.
2:33
I have for 10 years and I do a lot of personal growth coaching
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for both men and women who just need some direction and
2:43
encouragement and somebody to walk beside them and I use to do
2:47
corporate training, although I'm kind of like backing out from
2:50
that now because my focus This is really on, watch her story,
2:54
which I founded seven years ago for the simple reason is, the
2:59
reason that I felt after I shared my story to women's
3:01
luncheon, I wanted everybody to have a platform where they could
3:05
do that and experience what I experienced and everybody has a
3:10
story, lots of people come to me and say, I don't have a story
3:14
and it's like, I bet you do. If you've been living at all,
3:17
you have a story that needs to be, told somebody's waiting to
3:20
hear it. I agree.
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And that's Exactly why I started real money as a financial
3:25
expert. There's so many experts out
3:27
there, sharing great information.
3:29
And for me, what was missing is the heart of why Mad Money
3:32
Matters and it matters because we all have a story, right?
3:36
And it threads. I feel like I believe that money
3:38
is more of the fabric that weaves our lives together.
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It's always with us and a part of us, but it's not the whole
3:46
story and it's actually not these story, right?
3:49
Who we are? What we're doing with our lives
3:52
financially. Anshel results, come and go, but
3:54
it's the actual story of how did you get started?
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Where you at today? That?
3:59
I think that people learn and women ultimately learned the
4:02
best by hearing that they're not alone.
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All right? And so what my belief is that
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there's someone listening and for me if it's only one that is
4:10
a win, someone's going to hear your story today.
4:13
They're going to hear that they're not alone and they're
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going to be motivated and inspired to do what they need to
4:17
do in their lives. That's my belief right?
4:19
That's what I tell. All our speakers you know when
4:21
we invite them to speak of Her story.
4:23
I was told on the main thing is, it's not about you.
4:27
It's about that person that's in the audience that needs.
4:31
Hope our inspiration in that moment and you're going to be
4:33
the person to deliver that. That's right.
4:36
That's right. Okay.
4:38
Where can people find you before?
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Because I know I do this when I'm listening to podcast I want
4:41
to like hop on really quick and jump on Instagram or whatever.
4:44
Where can people find you as they start listening to you
4:46
today? And your story.
4:48
So my website is Missy day.com and I'm Missy.
4:52
Day on Facebook, and Miss Missy Day on Instagram.
4:56
Cool. Okay.
4:57
So where did your life start? I was born in Long Beach,
5:03
California. Okay, to probably my mom was
5:08
young. She was 19 and she was married.
5:13
My father whom I've never met mainly because her parents told
5:17
her not to. So why wouldn't he owe everyone
5:20
saying? Don't marry him.
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Well, of course, I'm good. Covid-19, and she did.
5:26
And she was not equipped to raise a child and he left when I
5:31
was two months old. So, my grandfather went to visit
5:37
me one day at my mom's and I was very sick and so he took me to
5:41
the hospital. And so they said, you know, you
5:44
need to call and somebody because she's not going to make
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it. I was so sick.
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I had double pneumonia. I had a staph infection.
5:51
So, and I made it, I was in the hospital you know, long time but
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the decision was made while I was in the hospital that
5:57
obviously my mom, you know, wasn't able to take care of me
6:00
properly. So her mom and stepdad raised me
6:05
and I call him dad because he's the only dad that I knew.
6:10
And thank God, that he was part of the equation because I was
6:15
born into the most dysfunctional, family, you
6:20
Imagine it was so crazy and you know, and I looked at it as a
6:24
child even and I would look at this whole side of the family
6:29
and say, you know, something it's not right because we've got
6:33
all this chaos over here. And over here is my dad who owns
6:37
his own business entrepreneur, you know.
6:40
And to always telling me, you know, you can be anybody you
6:43
want to be. When this whole side of the
6:45
family is saying, you need to let the government take care of
6:49
you, like we do. And I'm like, Wow, these are my
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choices. And so my grandmother, she was
6:58
an alcoholic and she also took a lot of pills and drugs.
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And so she when my dad left her and I was with her alone, it got
7:11
very complicated for me as a child because she was incapable
7:15
of taking care of me either. So just to make sure that I hear
7:19
this right, you You were born to a single mom, essentially, or
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your dad left when you were really young, and then your
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grandfather, took you with his wife, your grandmother, and then
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he left. Yes.
7:33
Okay. And how old were you?
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I was like, six. Okay.
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And so, I remember, you know, the time I just thought that
7:42
this was a normal, you know, childhood.
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And, you know, I had lots of toys and all those things and I
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thought that's, you know what, every kid had until the night
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that I I heard them fighting and I went down the hall and he came
7:54
out with a suitcase and I said, where are you going daddy?
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And he said, I'm sorry. Kat and I have to leave.
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So my grandmother, you know, is like screaming and yelling and
8:05
he's leaving us and all this. And so I remember I put my arms
8:09
around his leg to keep him to make him stay because he was the
8:13
only constant normal person that I had in my life.
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And so I was just screaming and Crying, and he was crying and
8:22
then he left and I turned around and my grandmother said to me,
8:26
you're the reason he left. So in my little mind I'm
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thinking, okay, gee, I had a father and he left and now this
8:36
person who was my world left. So immediately it's like there's
8:40
something wrong with me. I'm it's me right?
8:45
Yeah the problem before the age of 10 I talked about this in my
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world all the time is that that's when those beliefs are in
8:50
still Whether they're true or not, you made something up about
8:54
that event and typically kids we make it up that it's us, right?
8:58
Yeah. What happened next?
9:00
Next it was kind of like a whirlwind.
9:02
We had to move out of, you know, our house and into a smaller
9:05
house and then it started off. My grandmother started drinking
9:09
more and taking more prescription drugs.
9:12
So she was out of it a lot and made her first attempt to kill
9:18
herself. When I was eight and So, she
9:22
attempted through my life from about 8, to 17, try to kill
9:25
herself about nine times. And it was me who always had to
9:29
call somebody, you know, call my dad, call, the ambulance, call
9:33
somebody. And so it was just yet.
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Another thing of she's unhappy must be my fault.
9:40
I'm not doing something, you know, right?
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So it's 17, she drove her car off a freeway and she survived
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died. No, how that's crazy.
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She did. Wow.
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So then she was put in for a, you know, evaluation hold and
9:58
then I moved out. I told my dad, I said this, I
10:02
can't do this anymore. I'm a kid who lost their
10:06
childhood because I was taking care of my grandmother, you
10:09
know, and I need some kind of normalcy and my life and so I
10:13
did I moved out and she didn't live long past that they found
10:18
out in the hospital that she was Diabetic.
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But she didn't know and she died of a diabetic coma.
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And so for me, it was, I was just like, wow can I go back to?
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Can I rewind and you know have a do-over because life was just so
10:37
different, it was peace and calm, you know, and I, you know,
10:41
finished high school and graduated 17 and I was just
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like, man, I this would have been nice to had this, you know
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forever. But what happened?
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When your They're died. Where did you go?
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You moved out on your own you started working?
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No, I moved into my dad's house at 17.
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Okay. And then spent my senior year a
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living with him and my stepmom Millie.
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So it was like great except for that at 14.
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I started drinking at 14 because I needed a coping mechanism,
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right? And I was like, well why not
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everybody else's and the family drinks?
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And takes drugs. And yep.
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So let me do that too. So I did and then so 16, 17, 18,
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my girlfriend, my best friend and I would spend most of our
11:31
time in Hollywood at clubs. So we did the whole, some of
11:35
these Club thing, you know, drinking and everything else.
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And so by the time of 18, it was just like you kind of tired
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tired at 18 time to settle down, right?
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Hmm. Yeah.
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Yeah, and so I had a friend who kept, you know, telling me
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you've got to, you know, come to this church and I wanted nothing
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to do with church because the family, you know, we're all
12:03
about church and I was like something.
12:04
It's not balancing out, right? You're going to charge.
12:08
But wow. Yeah.
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And so I wanted nothing to do with church and she kept saying
12:14
there's you know, I go to this church, it's called Calvary
12:16
Chapel, I think you're going to like it and I was just watch
12:18
this movie Jesus. The revolution is so I did and
12:23
so to mainly to get her to leave me alone, I said fine, I will go
12:28
to church with you. Will you leave me alone if I go?
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And she said, yes. And so she goes, it's Saturday
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night and I said, Saturday night church with what she goes.
12:40
A little star concert night and I said, okay there's a concert.
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What kind of place that you're going to, you know?
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And she goes just trust me. And so I went in and there was a
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band playing and then Greg Laurie came out and shared his
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story. Well, the thing was is that his
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story mirrored so much of my story as his alcoholic mother
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and basically raising himself and I was like this is kind of
13:10
weird, you know that he's kind of like telling my story and he
13:14
said so if you're tired and you're lost and you're searching
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for something and you're tired of searching and alcohol and
13:20
Drugs and all that, you know, come up here, you know, and step
13:25
Christ, and I was just like what is happening right now, you
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know? And so we did.
13:32
And so we went off to the side room and Greg came in the room
13:37
and prayed for all of us. And so it was like, I finally
13:41
felt like finally somebody has saved me because I spent my
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childhood just waiting for somebody.
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You know too. She's a can let's save her.
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Let's get her out of the situation, right?
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And I never really understood why my dad never in my eyes.
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Never made an attempt, you know, to take me out of the situation
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and we had a conversation when I was older and he said, you have
14:09
to understand that I had no legal right to.
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He goes basically technically I was your step-grandfather, no
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biological. Yeah, you said your mother and
14:20
your grandmother. I said, absolutely not.
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She's not going to go live with you don't even try, you know,
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and so he was like, I hope you understand how much I broke my
14:28
heart to have to see you live. You know, in that situation.
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How long what age were you when you had that conversation with
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him? I was probably late 20s.
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When I finally, you know, got around to having that
14:41
conversation. Yeah, that takes a lot of
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Courage. You are a courageous woman.
14:46
Oh, my goodness. Okay, so let's thread money into
14:50
this. This typically what happens with
14:52
alcohol and addiction and an instability is at financially.
14:58
People are not stable. For you.
15:00
What was your experience of money growing up before 18?
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Well, my experience was because my dad had a very successful
15:09
business. He was always, you know, giving
15:12
me money and you know, he started the Dave Ramsey thing
15:16
before, there was Dave Ramsey, he would give me envelopes full
15:19
of money. Every month, you know, for like
15:22
my phone and close and, you know, whatever.
15:25
And he would always tell me now one that when the money runs out
15:28
of the envelope shirt, Done for the mine.
15:30
Okay. Well, I would run out and he
15:34
would just fill them again. So I had zero concept of money.
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I just thought oh well when you need it it just appears arrives.
15:45
Gotcha. And then, when did that shift
15:47
for you or did it ever shift for you?
15:52
Well, yes, because one. So when I moved to Oregon when I
15:56
was 20, then it was like, oh so I am supposed to make money.
16:03
And make my own living. So that was an adjustment for
16:06
me, you know, my mom and I she had lived in Oregon, so I moved
16:10
to Oregon and she was living there.
16:12
We kind of we reconcile your biological mom, my biological
16:15
mom. Hmm.
16:16
And so it was more like friends than it was mother daughter.
16:20
She tried to create the mother-daughter relationship and
16:24
it just, I couldn't to lay on it.
16:26
There's it was too late, you know, for that.
16:29
So but so yeah. Yeah, so my experience then was
16:34
oh so this is like all on me and this kind of sucks, it's super
16:40
sacks. When you realize that you're all
16:41
on your own talking to you, whoever it is, we get it, we get
16:46
it. Hmm.
16:47
Okay. And then what happened?
16:49
So you realize that were you working in Oregon living with
16:53
your mom? Okay, I was working.
16:55
So I had a job and then so my plan was because I went I flew
16:59
back to California as often as I could because I really miss Ted
17:03
and the plan was to always return, you know, and then I met
17:08
my husband Fred. Hi, Fred.
17:11
He's in the studio with us today and so we got married.
17:16
And why my main goal and getting married at the time, was I
17:21
wanted somebody that was stable and came from a stable family
17:25
and was never going to leave because I had severe abandonment
17:28
issues at this point. And so when my dad Dad, I'll
17:33
never forget, we were standing outside the doors before they
17:36
open. I'd walk down the aisle.
17:38
And he said, are you sure you want to do this?
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And I said, No. And then the doors opened and
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down. I walked and now I will drill
17:45
you married. Young 24K.
17:49
We got engaged - 23 and so I'm was like, surreal.
17:54
The whole thing was surreal. It was like, oh, I'm getting
17:57
married and I'm a bride in. This is wonderful, and I love
18:00
friend and you better not ever. Leave me that was like the
18:04
recurring like thing you know for me because still in there
18:09
somewhere was the feeling that there's something wrong with me.
18:13
That's why all these people are leaving.
18:15
Yeah, that was the belief that was instilled so I only I can
18:20
Envision the six-year-old. Girl holding onto her
18:22
grandfather's leg saying, don't leave.
18:25
Don't leave and you created that experience with Fred?
18:29
Yes, in some ways. Exactly did that work for Fred?
18:33
Probably not. I'll never forget when I was
18:40
telling him what I was going to say for nabo and the thing that
18:44
forgot to say and I was a fact we were still married but he was
18:48
like he goes wow, he's a little, you know, should we talk about
18:52
that? And I'm like, I don't think so
18:53
at this point, we're still married.
18:58
Yeah. But it's a lot of courage to
19:00
share that. Hmm.
19:03
But, you know, and the thing is, is like some people ask me.
19:06
Sometimes of, you know, well, you know, why did you go down
19:12
the aisle? My did you get married?
19:14
And I said, because I was looking for somebody that was
19:17
going to be with me. That wasn't going to leave.
19:19
That was the only thing that was going through my head.
19:21
Yeah. What the time and you did.
19:24
Hmm. You did he I don't fear.
19:27
Yeah I knew you were still married so it wasn't a missing
19:30
link for me but yeah by the way we're still married.
19:33
So you get married at 24, did you step into Corporate America?
19:37
I know you've had some experience with corporate
19:39
America and we'll share that. But what was that?
19:41
What was your 20s and 30s? Like?
19:44
So in my 20s, I worked for an insurance company, two different
19:47
insurance companies and then I started working for well, first
19:52
it was Senior Services in Oregon and then which led me to Senior
19:57
Services where I was a social worker for almost 10 years.
20:01
Mmm, and I thank That spoke to me so much of the taking care,
20:08
you know, I had a caseload of 350 seniors while that were
20:12
either at home. I'm getting home care or in
20:15
nursing homes or memory care. And I just remember thinking
20:19
this is like the best gig ever. I have all these grandma's and
20:23
grandpa's that are like normal people.
20:27
And so it was, it filled a need. I think in my own life that I
20:33
need And to fell as far as looking and seeing that there
20:37
are some normal families you know that have loving
20:40
grandparents, you know, and things like that.
20:43
So I really love that and I did that until we moved here and the
20:47
expectation was that it was going to be the same kind of
20:50
loving environment for seniors that Oregon has because Oregon
20:55
pays for seniors care. If you can't afford it, you get
20:59
to live in a nice facility and so when I came Came here and
21:04
interviewed. I was surprised and sad.
21:09
Yeah. That, you know, that the state
21:11
really doesn't have a heart for seniors and they'd it's
21:15
basically if you can't afford to live here, you should live
21:19
somewhere else kind of a thing. You know.
21:22
It's true. Nevada still has a lot of room
21:24
for growth. Hmm.
21:25
Definitely one of those areas and that was in 1993.
21:28
That you moved to Las Vegas. Yes.
21:29
What was the reason you moved down to Vegas mom?
21:33
Sounds beautiful, but I had so many allergies, which turned
21:37
into asthma and I was in the hospital a lot.
21:40
So my pulmonary doctor was like, you really need to move, you
21:44
know, somewhere else and dryer hot climate.
21:47
So, we looked around Palm Springs, Arizona here, and we
21:52
kept coming back to here and say, you know what?
21:54
Let's just move here, okay? And it was booming in the 90s.
21:57
Oh yeah, there's a lot going on and I think he's in Vegas.
22:01
What was Fred doing for work? He is A plumber, cool.
22:05
Hmm. Okay.
22:06
So looking at your 20s and 30s, 90 that was 30 years ago.
22:09
So you were in your 30s. When you move down to Vegas
22:11
live, okay? And things had stabilized in
22:16
your relationship and in your marriage.
22:20
How did that work out? Financially for you guys?
22:22
Were you stable financially? Yes.
22:26
And I don't know how because we had, you know, we move down here
22:31
and we were fine and I And I had our were some good, not a
22:36
retirement package, but I had no, I cashed, you know, out a
22:39
lot of my things from the state because I work for the state and
22:42
then we move down here and my mom actually came down with
22:45
this. And so, we were all living in
22:48
this cute little house. That was, you know, least by a
22:51
friend of my dad's actually. And so, we just, you know, we
22:55
came down here, not thinking people like, what are you going
22:57
to, do you have jobs? No, I'm not.
23:00
We're gonna do. We're just going and So we
23:03
thought, well, how hard could it be to get a job in a casino,
23:07
right? Because isn't that where
23:08
everyone works in Las Vegas. So we went on these interviews
23:15
and my mom for some reason. Thought she wanted to be in
23:18
housekeeping. And I'm like, do you know until
23:22
the interview and they said, you know, you have to clean some
23:24
absorbent amount of rooms, you know, in a day and she's like,
23:27
yeah, I don't think so. Hmm.
23:28
And my interviews weren't going great either and, you know,
23:32
Fred. So Fred was the Just to get, you
23:34
know, work in the plumbing industry and then my mom got a
23:37
really great job at an electrical company and then I
23:40
kind of like playing around. Well, I actually went to work
23:44
for an attorney that specialized in Elder Law because they were
23:47
looking for somebody that knew the Medicaid system.
23:51
Yeah. And I said that's me.
23:52
Yeah, so I worked with him until he became a judge and then I
23:58
went to Kelly Services and I was like, I don't know what I really
24:01
want to do but I don't don't fit into this mold anymore here and
24:06
this state. So she I went and did a lot of
24:09
fun jobs through Kelly. It was a lot of fun and then one
24:13
of them was at Bank of America. And so I went to do a job with
24:18
them and I'd been there, probably two weeks and the
24:22
supervisor came and said, you know, my director wants to talk
24:25
to you. So I said, okay, so we went and
24:28
talked and she said, you're the only one that gets her early and
24:33
You come back from your break and lunch and you leave when you
24:36
know, your work is done. She said, what's that all about?
24:41
How come you have your shit together?
24:44
And I said, well, that's because I was raised that way.
24:48
And my dad has a really strong work ethic and he passed that on
24:51
to me. And that's what you do.
24:52
When you have a job, you're responsible.
24:54
And she goes, well, we want to hire you, and I was like, okay,
25:00
that's awesome. So, you were working as a temp.
25:03
Hmm. Okay, hmm and then I stayed
25:05
with. So I started as being her
25:08
assistant and then became a project manager until one day.
25:12
She came in and she said, one of our managers quit and I think
25:16
you'd make a great people manager and you're going to
25:19
start tomorrow and I was like I like being in this office by
25:23
myself working on projects. Yeah she goes yeah you're going
25:28
to start tomorrow and you have a team of like you know 45.
25:31
Wow. And I was just like Ike.
25:36
Is this negotiable? Whoop, she's like now here are
25:41
to return items tomorrow and so I did and I had no clue what I
25:46
was doing at all. And so I started reading John
25:50
Maxwell, books on leadership and, you know, and I was like
25:54
and they had bets on me that I wouldn't last actual bets actual
25:58
bet. Who's they last the team?
26:01
Yeah, I team. Yeah.
26:03
So what I didn't know. No.
26:04
Was that before me? That had been five other
26:07
managers and a period of two years.
26:09
Well, thank was as can use it. Can you say it was Bank of
26:11
America, you said, that Bank of America and it was the back
26:15
office. So, the building that they had,
26:16
for a long time on Charleston. Yeah, it was where I was
26:18
working. And so, I last obviously, I
26:22
lasted and it was, I treated it as just like an extended family
26:28
kind of a thing. I said, you know, we're all
26:32
going to do this together and Said, you know, you help me and
26:36
in return, you know, we'll have a great working relationship and
26:40
I loved it. I loved it and then so then they
26:45
were starting to downsize, you know?
26:47
And when you're a corporate you kind of know when Department
26:51
start leaving that, it's like okay, yeah.
26:56
Whole thing's going to be shutting down pretty soon,
26:59
right? Is that?
27:00
So you moved out to Vegas in 93. When did you start with Bank of
27:03
America? I was with them eight years,
27:08
eight years. Okay?
27:09
So eight years. So then things start to wind
27:11
down, so you're in your mid 40s by then.
27:15
Hmm, our early 40s. Okay.
27:17
So then, and I told myself I don't want to do this kind of
27:20
thing anymore. I'm kind of over, you know,
27:22
doing corporate managing people. Well, what do you know?
27:26
I got a call from City and their said, we're looking, you know,
27:30
for a production manager, And your name was recommended.
27:36
And do you want to come in for an interview?
27:37
And I'm like thinking, sure I'll come and do the interview but,
27:40
you know, it's not I'm not going to do it.
27:42
So I did the interview and they called me and she said, we'd
27:47
like to make you an offer to come and work for us.
27:50
So she said, is this number okay.
27:52
And I said, now actually it's not and I just threw out some
27:56
ridiculous number because I was like, you know, Oh, I'm sorry.
28:05
We can't do that. And she so she goes all along.
28:07
She goes, I'm gonna have to call you back.
28:09
And so I said, okay and I learned of our we were going, we
28:12
were in Arizona, I don't remember why.
28:15
But I was like, taking all these calls and and then she called
28:18
back and she said she goes would like to offer you that, that job
28:22
at your price. And what do I say now?
28:28
Yeah, they like yours honey. A car.
28:32
So I was like, alright okay something she does.
28:34
She know you're like yeah it's meant to be, let's just go with
28:38
it and see what happens. And so, same thing loved my team
28:43
learned a lot, grew a lot during that time because it was a lot
28:47
of challenging things, you know, going on in that department.
28:50
And and then again, here we are. Call center stretch down,
28:56
another piece shuts down and they had told us, you know, they
29:00
said this was in 2012 and and going through the time of like
29:06
2008, when they would tell us our stock dropped to 99 Cents.
29:10
Wow. They're like, if it goes lower
29:13
the, you know, feds to come in, they take over the bank Federal
29:17
Reserve. So you're if you come and
29:19
there's locks on the doors, you know, this is the number you
29:22
call and I so we survived And I can't imagine how but we did, we
29:27
lived through that and they came and told us in 2012, they said
29:33
no matter what happens. We're never going to shut down
29:35
the Vegas site because it's a backup site you know for the
29:38
Midwest and you guys are so protective blah blah blah.
29:42
Six months later we all get called up to HR and you know
29:46
when you're a director and you get called up all of us at the
29:51
same time it's not good nose and so I don't know that.
29:54
I've never experienced that before.
29:55
I can only imagine how scary that would be.
29:57
Yeah. They're like, you know,
29:59
corporate HR is up in the boardroom and all the directors
30:02
need to go there now. And so we go there and they're
30:05
like we're shutting down the site.
30:08
Yeah. And they said so here's the list
30:10
and we're going to shut it down and three stages.
30:13
And here's the names and you need to tell all your employees
30:16
that they're out of a job and this is the process and call
30:19
this number and I was like again.
30:22
Yeah, it's happening again. And that's when I decided I was
30:26
like I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to run
30:30
want to rely on somebody else. You know, I do your story is a
30:36
story that has been that has happened over and over and over
30:41
again. Over the last decade in our
30:43
country of directors, departments not just in the
30:48
banking industry. It's still happening.
30:50
Yes. Tesla just laid off.
30:51
All right, we're hearing this news over and Over again.
30:55
Knowing what, you know, now what would you say to someone who's
30:59
in the same situation? To go backwards.
31:04
If I could rewind, I would find really try to determine what my
31:10
passion is and do it myself and start my business.
31:14
A whole lot earlier than I did because they're still.
31:17
Sometimes I feel like not that I'm saying, it's never too late
31:22
because it never is until you're dead.
31:23
You can do whatever you want until the day you die.
31:27
But I wish I would have experienced having my own
31:30
business and that freedom a Sooner than I did, you know, in
31:35
2013 but that's you know that that though all the things I
31:41
learn during that time has certainly made a difference in
31:45
my business and the way I do business and how I can relate to
31:50
corporate people that are has done, you know, with that
31:54
process. Then I just I remember sitting
31:57
in the office and I told everybody that, you know, we
32:01
were closing. And I said, what am I going to
32:04
do now? And I said to myself, whatever
32:07
you want. And my friend called me.
32:11
And she said, I heard about City and she goes, I think you should
32:14
join the Maxwell team. Get certified do what you do,
32:17
but do it on your own and I was like perfect I meant yeah,
32:23
sometimes we need the universe to give us that shove.
32:26
Did you have inklings before that?
32:29
That that layoffs in particular that you knew you want it.
32:32
To do coaching or you knew you want it to have your own
32:34
business. I knew that from that particular
32:37
group because for whatever reason, I just started coaching
32:42
my team and that wasn't done ever before and I would have
32:46
these like, you know, things were okay on Mondays.
32:50
You know, we're going to talk about this and and I started
32:52
doing all those things while I was a manager and I really
32:56
enjoyed that piece and I enjoyed the training part.
33:00
And so then I that's when I was like Thinking I can do this on
33:04
my own. Yeah.
33:06
And you did very successfully. Can you share that part of your
33:10
life? I want to get to some good stuff
33:13
for our listeners because there's there's some nuggets
33:15
because Missy you're so wise and I know you have so many nuggets
33:18
to throw to our to our audience and your story.
33:23
It's so important that someone goes like, Oh my gosh, she gets
33:26
it, she gets it. She gets what I'm going through
33:28
today, it wasn't just 2008 wasn't just 2010, it wasn't just
33:32
12. We're seeing this at the
33:34
corporate level massively today, for so many different reasons
33:39
you made a decision to go out on your own.
33:42
What happened? Well, so it was like, it's
33:47
really for me when I look back on it as, like I was in some
33:50
like fairy tale, you know, thing happening, and, and I went
33:54
through the whole process and certification program.
33:58
And I just remember going to Orlando, Florida to get My
34:02
certification and to meet John and I was just like this is not
34:07
my life. What is happening to be around
34:11
2,000? Other like-minded people who
34:14
were just starting their businesses and all excited and
34:19
couldn't wait to go out and change the world.
34:21
You know, I will always remember like I get goes, he's just
34:24
thinking about it now. I will never forget that feeling
34:27
and you know, and being able to meet him and then here hear him
34:32
talk about how we were going to do that.
34:34
You know, this is the first day of life changing experiences for
34:39
you and it has been, you know, ever since every time I sit down
34:45
with a client and I see them step into their greatness and
34:49
become what they were born to be.
34:51
It's like, how lucky am I. Yeah, that I get to be a part of
34:55
that Journey. Yeah, it is, it really is a
34:58
privilege and it from all all. I mean for however, long I have
35:03
known you, you make such a difference for people and that
35:06
was just your, you know, God instilled that in you.
35:09
But that's who you get to be four people and knowing knowing
35:12
that seeing that Journey how did you and Fred navigate that?
35:15
That's what big, that's the biggest fear that my clients
35:18
come to me for is if I make this jump out of corporate America,
35:23
how am I going to figure it out? Financially, how am I going to
35:25
build my business? How am My going to invest in
35:27
myself. How did you navigate those
35:29
decisions? I would say, well probably I was
35:32
lucky in the fact that we received incredible packages,
35:37
you know, when we left. So there was a considerable
35:41
amount of money that just start my business with, you know, not
35:45
everybody has that opportunity but I wouldn't let that stop
35:50
anyone. I mean if I would say if I
35:52
didn't have that opportunity of the packages and things like
35:56
that, I would have still done it because there was no way you
36:00
know you get to Face where you just like I'm not employable
36:03
anymore. Yes, I love that truth.
36:06
Um, I'm not employable anymore. I do.
36:09
That's so great. Hang onto that nugget.
36:12
Like remind yourself that if that's what you like.
36:14
It's so true. I love the same thing.
36:16
I left UNLV. And I said, I am not going to be
36:18
a great employee ever again. I'm really not and every time I
36:21
tried to step into that role again, I was I sucked at it.
36:24
I don't want to be over there is little Temptations like
36:26
sometimes I'll get like some pop up from LinkedIn or something
36:30
and So, and so's looking for this and I'll look at it and I
36:32
like, oh wow, that would be nice.
36:35
Yeah, and then I sit down and I'm like, thinking really, do
36:39
you want to report to someone? Do you want to clock in and out?
36:42
No. Do you want that as your life
36:44
and not be able to go and do things during the day and I'm
36:46
like, never? Nope, necklace.
36:50
Nope, next. So you joined Maxwell's team and
36:54
I know you worked with some major brands.
36:57
What was your journey? Like, which you're still a John
36:59
wax. I'll coach, but you don't do it
37:03
on the corporate level anymore, right?
37:05
Correct. Your set you're actually moving
37:07
out of that into more parts writing.
37:09
Uh-huh. All right.
37:10
I still do Executive coaching for executives that are in
37:13
corporate or have their businesses, but not going in and
37:15
doing a lot of the training, you know, anymore part.
37:19
So that part I still, I love that part.
37:22
And so my very first client that I had was Microsoft and it's
37:28
like, well, where do you go? So from there, I don't know.
37:33
Where did you go? It just kept going on, you know
37:37
and some of the times I just suck I look back and I think how
37:41
did I ever get you know, these clients?
37:45
And I think the main thing is, I know that from coaching clients
37:51
that I have. They think there's some, you
37:53
know, I have to act or do or have this, you know, perfect
37:58
website and do all the things. That's why I'm going to get
38:01
them. And I just, I have a hard time
38:04
with that because it's like, at the time when I started my
38:08
business, I had the worst website you can imagine.
38:12
And I think back on on now and it's like, oh, wow, that was
38:15
mine. And even the name of my company.
38:17
I didn't think it through at all, you know, and then, passion
38:22
for numeral for Success. Well, my emails were getting
38:27
blocked by corporate passion the numeral.
38:30
Four is an unlucky number and the Asian community.
38:33
So I was just like, I can't, I can't say that I should have
38:37
bombed. If you're going to go buy those,
38:39
you know, parameters, I should have gone nowhere quickly, but
38:42
it's because you have to let you shine, right?
38:49
Which is kind of like what I'm telling people.
38:51
Now with what's her story, you have to be able to bring whole
38:54
self warts-and-all into your business and be authentic.
39:00
And People will be drawn to you, because they know the difference
39:04
between the manufactured wax figure that is out there.
39:09
That's trying to help people. And then the real life person
39:13
that's been through it and is actually somebody that can help
39:16
me, you know, makes a big difference.
39:19
You don't have to be bright and shiny, you don't?
39:21
You just have to be yourself. What are those pieces of you
39:25
that people fall in love with in that respect, right?
39:28
Because your Even just the even in just the 40 minutes that
39:33
we've been together. And for all the times that I've
39:35
known you, you just show up as yourself like I'm here.
39:38
What? Right?
39:40
And it sounds like that's been you.
39:42
Every step along the way of your life that you're just you I
39:46
would say more. So in my thirties, I would say,
39:50
in my mid-20s to mid-30s, I tried to be what I thought
39:55
everybody wanted me to be. I was a people pleaser and it
39:58
was exhausting because and I'll never forget a friend of mine
40:04
Kathleen. Who's been my friend ever since
40:06
I worked with her at Bank of America and she called me in her
40:09
office one day she goes, I don't know what this is but this isn't
40:15
you. She Goes, I see bits and pieces
40:18
of you when we go out and in at night or we go off or happy
40:22
hours, you know, with everything and somehow this magical Missy
40:26
comes out. And then and then during the day
40:30
it's like, where is she? What happened to her?
40:34
Yeah, and I think because during that time, I was trying to fit
40:38
into the mold of the church that Fred and his family went to and
40:45
I was like this Is not me. I am not Martha Stewart.
40:50
I am not like the, oh yeah. Okay, here's your breakfast.
40:53
So I packed your lunch. Oh, here's dinner.
40:55
Let's have a fun dessert so I can't do that anymore.
41:00
Yeah, yeah. So when I finally let that go
41:05
and then let me like kind of come out.
41:08
It was like yeah, you can't put that back in the box.
41:11
That's not gonna happen. No, we're just having that
41:14
conversation before you got here you are obese.
41:16
For we started the show. You were like, I'm going to dye
41:18
my hair pink and you and Jill, or just like that, you and
41:21
Jeweler, and Jill's party, know someone that you've done shows
41:24
with you. Do the 50 shades of blonde,
41:26
right? Right.
41:28
We're just like, okay, let's be ourselves, right?
41:32
Yeah yeah. It's like the first time that I
41:34
went in. I said, I need pink hair.
41:36
You do you? Yes, I do.
41:38
I need pink hair right now. Yeah.
41:42
How have you held onto that throughout the course of your
41:45
life? Once you made that decision,
41:48
living authentically what are ways.
41:49
So I want to I want to end the show with with some nuggets to
41:53
our listeners and and they know how to get ahold of you if they
41:57
want to learn from you join your, you have Mastermind
42:00
groups, you've got ways that people women specifically, can
42:03
you work with men and women, right?
42:05
Can learn from you. But what are the ways that you
42:08
remind yourself to be authentic or hold on to who you are?
42:14
I would say. So I had a conversation actually
42:16
this morning, one of my clients called me.
42:19
And she said, I just want to tell you.
42:21
She goes, you're like this stealth ninja person and I said
42:26
really I said what, what tell me, let's talk about that and
42:28
she goes, do you remember the first time that we had a
42:31
conversation? And you were asking me, you
42:34
know, the questions of, you know, do you think you could
42:37
benefit from personal growth and your life?
42:39
Do you think you could benefit from having accountability?
42:43
Focus and Clarity and I said yes she goes.
42:46
But then you just stop and you sit there and you don't say
42:50
anything else and you and I'm sitting in this now and she said
42:54
and then you did the same thing when she goes.
42:57
You know, she said well you know what your pricing and she goes
43:01
you just said the pricing is this for that.
43:04
And then she goes and then you just sat there and she said and
43:07
what else was I supposed to say? But okay, do I do I send you the
43:12
money now. Was that all that work?
43:14
Yeah. And I think we sometimes we get
43:18
try to get in the way of our own cells and the conversation
43:23
that's happening and just, you know, be you and say what it is.
43:29
We don't have to gloss it up and put a bow on it and say, pretty
43:33
please. Would you like to buy this?
43:35
Totally just be yourself and if your self is not a great seller,
43:40
you don't have to sell it. Just State the facts and be
43:44
quiet and let the person, you know, marinate in it from it.
43:51
We say, let the cylons, do the heavy lifting?
43:53
Hmm. Let someone else do the heavy
43:55
lifting in our lives, get quiet. Listen to ourselves.
44:00
Be ourselves and then just choose people that we love and
44:04
that we can learn from, right? Yeah.
44:06
And the best thing to remember for me, as I learned this, the
44:09
hard way is that I'm not everyone's coach, and Everyone
44:13
is not my client and I can't be all things to all people.
44:18
And once you realize that and you focus on who your perfect
44:23
fit is in anything in life. Really, they appear, you know,
44:29
instead of going out and trying to chase people.
44:32
When I first started, my coaching business, I chased, and
44:35
I unfortunately had clients that after I was done with our
44:40
session, I would be just like Help me.
44:43
Yeah. Right.
44:47
You learn from those though? Mmm.
44:49
Yeah, you do and then you figure out who you are and the people
44:53
that really resonate with you because it's really two ways, a
44:56
lot of people think, oh, it's the coach and they make all the
44:59
decisions and then there's the client and that's not it at all.
45:03
I mean, I learn just as much from my clients as they do me
45:07
and I wanted that way, it should be a back and forth thing.
45:12
I agree you. Have as much to give an offer as
45:15
do your clients and that is your, you know, that's one
45:18
nugget for you watching this show to they are listening this
45:20
show today is that you have as much to offer is anyone else on
45:24
this planet and it's a dance. And we just get to hang out and
45:28
dance and figure it out together.
45:29
Those are my favorite clients. I totally agree.
45:32
Can we close the loop on something?
45:34
Sure. So you have had such an
45:40
incredible journey with your family.
45:43
And my experience of you, even over the last seven years, I've
45:46
known you, is that things came full circle with your family and
45:52
somehow I'm guessing, which is my question, how did you summon
45:55
the courage and the Forgiveness to heal those relationships
46:00
assuming that they were healed in particular with your mom?
46:05
Are you gonna make me cry? This is why I didn't, I'm kind
46:07
to its so it really does inspire me.
46:13
My mom and I really experienced, as she got older, you know,
46:18
really great relationship and and we got to experience the
46:23
mother-daughter relationship especially when she was
46:27
declining. And and I knew that just a lot
46:32
of things were going through my head and it's like, you know, do
46:35
you take the time to dredge up? No, this is that gone, you know
46:42
what I mean? I enjoy the now.
46:44
And there were Parts, I would have to say, when she was in the
46:49
hospital and the day that hospice took her off everything
46:53
where I felt incredible guilt. But then I felt incredible Joy
46:59
because I was like, this is the woman that brought me into the
47:03
world, no matter what happened, right?
47:06
She was young and I get to be here.
47:11
To wish her. Well when she goes on to the
47:13
other side. Yeah.
47:14
And I think in those moments you just, like, you have to let go,
47:19
you know, and and I saw her for her who she was and it's not
47:25
like I'm going to say it was a beautiful moment because it was,
47:28
you know, heartbreaking, but I would have hate to have missed
47:32
it. You know what I mean?
47:34
I do. I do that's so wise, I have so
47:37
many women in my world who have a fragmented knothole,
47:45
interesting relationship with their moms and to experience you
47:49
have that Journey with your mom and to hear you say at some
47:53
point, just let it go. I think someone needed to hear
47:56
that today. Yeah, because, you know, once
48:00
they're gone, you know, you don't want to spend your life
48:04
trying to like bring things back.
48:06
It's just, it was, it was and, and the same thing with my dad,
48:13
even actually, you know, when he started to decline in, you know,
48:16
he told me, he said, you know, I'm sorry he goes, but I don't
48:22
want you to think I'm leaving you.
48:25
Because he knew that was big for me.
48:28
And I said, I know and I said and I get to see you again
48:31
someday. And I said, I understand now
48:34
that you're not leaving me and I said and I want you to know
48:39
that. I don't think there's anything
48:40
wrong with me anymore and so we got to, you know, I can cry and
48:46
everything but it's important to realize that, you know, it
48:51
sometimes you have to embrace yourself and just say, you know,
48:54
Know what I'm doing my best and that's enough.
48:58
That's the journey. That's the journey that I'm
49:02
enough, and I'm okay. And I'm whole and complete and I
49:06
love me, right? And that's the work of personal
49:11
development which is why I love it so much.
49:13
Is every person that comes onto the show, whether we talk about
49:17
like, money or not our financial lives, turn around our whole
49:21
lives, turn around when we heal, And we accept responsibility and
49:26
we say I'm good, I'm good. And let's go make a difference
49:30
in the world and you do that so masterfully and so beautifully.
49:34
I really do. I look up to you, I love you.
49:37
I'm crying too. Yeah, I just actually so I pay
49:42
forward something that you did for me with my mom.
49:46
So Lisa is the best when it comes to ministering to people
49:51
that are grieving or I've had, you know, Lost.
49:55
And so, when my mom passed you just hug me for a long time.
49:58
I didn't even say a word and that meant, I told that all the
50:01
time to people because I was so beautiful yesterday, I was
50:05
talking to a friend of mine. She just lost her husband and
50:09
it's like, you don't, I don't know the words.
50:11
There are no the right words, there just isn't and so I just
50:14
hugged her a lot for a long time.
50:16
I didn't say anything and so she's left me a message.
50:21
And she said, I wish more people would do what You did because
50:25
there's no words to say she goes, I just needed a hug,
50:28
that's it. So thank you for that.
50:30
Yeah, yeah. I got all the hugs bring them
50:35
in. Hugs are the best.
50:38
Thank you for sharing your story today.
50:40
Thank you for having me. Yeah, thanks for sharing the
50:43
world, love you. And I just love what you're
50:45
doing. And you do the same thing of
50:48
just having people share their stories because it can change
50:51
lives. Yeah, someone's life is going to
50:54
change. Today that's my declaration.
50:56
I hope so. Yeah, me too, thanks for being
50:59
here on real money. Thanks.
51:00
Hopefully you had some tissues. We need some tissues.
51:04
Missy is an amazing woman in Las Vegas and in the world.
51:08
So if you want to follow her where can they find you again at
51:11
Misty day.com or on Facebook, Missy day or Instagram?
51:15
Miss Missy Day cool. Yeah, she's got a great, a great
51:19
show that you do every now and then but they can probably find
51:21
it online which is 50 Shades of dishes.
51:24
One. One.
51:24
And then what's your story podcast is on Spotify and
51:27
Amazon. Cool, cool.
51:30
Thanks for being here, Missy. Thank you.
51:31
Lisa, come back next week for a brand new episode of real money.