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How To Sound Assertive Quickly – 11 Tips To Speak Confidently At Work · Enhance.training

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Learn exactly how to sound assertive at work.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: When you speak confidently and assertively, you are more likely to communicate clearly, constructively, and get your message heard, taken in and understood.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: When you communicate with aggressive, passive or passive aggressive styles, your message is much more likely to be lost or be unclear or not taken in by the other person.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: The more clearly you communicate, the more likely you'll get what you want and the more professionally and confidently you'll come across.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your ability to communicate clearly, concisely and without emotional baggage is a big factor in progressing your career.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: The higher you want to climb, the better your communication needs to be to get the job that you want.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: To help you sound assertive quickly, I am sharing 11 tips to speak confidently at work.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, be aware of your intent behind the communication, plus what exactly do we mean by assertive communication?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, four ways to develop an assertive style of communication, and third, seven ways to deliver your message assertively.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking assertively and confidently is a skill that needs practice.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Please put all the tips for confident communication that I cover into practice.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Start with one tip.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Get in the swing of practicing that tip and then add another.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Keep practicing.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, to sound assertive quickly and speak confidently, you must work at being aware of your intent behind the communication.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Before we talk about intent, I think it is important to quickly define four different communication styles: passive, aggressive, assertive, and passive aggressive.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Those using a passive style rarely say what is on their mind.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: They don't express themselves clearly and are often quietly accepting other people's positions.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: There are lots of blockers behind people using this style, you know, such as fear, wanting to avoid conflict or lack of confidence.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Those using an aggressive style want to control those they are speaking to.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: They seek to dominate others, use blame, attacks, and put downs to silence others or push them to do what the speaker wants.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: The language they use includes a lot of the word you.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is late because of you or you are to blame.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Those using an assertive style are direct and respectful of the other person.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: They say what is on their mind without fluff or emotional baggage.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: They are respectful of other people's opinions.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: They use a lot of I in their language.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I disagree with that approach, or I want to clarify, or I need more information.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Those using a passive aggressive style don't speak up directly.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: They poorly hide their feelings and hold on to feelings of anger, frustration, etc.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: and let those leak out.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: They might make sarcastic comments, mutter under their breath, complain or gossip with others rather than speaking up directly.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Put yourself in an assertive frame of mind.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on controlling what and how you communicate.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You are not trying to control the other person, silence them or dominate them.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You should value and respect their views and opinions and be open-minded going into the conversation.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: You are also going to say what you think clearly and respectfully.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Be calm, aware, and in control of your own emotions.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: This mindset is essential for how to communicate assertively without being aggressive.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, enhance.training provides resources and courses for you to build management expertise and confidence to lead any team to their best performance.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a leader, a board director, or a senior manager and are looking to improve how assertively and confidently you speak and communicate, visit us at enhance.training and select coaching or just get in touch by emailing me at support at enhance.training.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, for how to sound assertive quickly, here are four ways to develop an assertive style of communication.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Assertive language is direct language.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Assertive language is clear, concise and to the point.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your communication should be more factual or evidence-based rather than holding emotional content.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Assertive language has a lot less verbal deference in it as well.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: The first tip for how to be assertive and confident is to condense your message down to the bare bones of what you want to get across.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Say what you need as directly as possible.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Remove any language that might get an emotional response from the other person, i.e.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: blame.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: A good way to do this is to write down your talking points.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Remove emotional language, condense it, then go away and do something else for a bit.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Come back and revise your talking points again.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: In private, practice saying it out aloud and hear what the message sounds like.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Go away again if needed and repeat this process.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: The second tip to sound assertive quickly is to focus your message on factual information or evidence-based information rather than opinion-led information.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, facts are harder to dispute, ignore, etc.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Factual communication styles don't create emotional reactions in the listener.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: A factual style sounds like, yet according to last quarter's report, our customers rather than saying, I think our customers bum bum bum boom.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: The third tip is to use a lot of eye language focusing on your own thoughts and feelings.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Some examples.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want to clarify the deadline so we are aligned.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'd like to explore this problem in more detail before we move on.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or I am confident this solution will address the issue.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth of the tips to talk confidently at work is to remove or reduce the verbal deference in what you say.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Verbal deference is showing your respect of the other person through the language you use.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Some examples.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't mind, or with your permission, bum bum bum bum, or please correct me if I'm mistaken, bum bum bum bum.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you're speaking to your boss, reduce but don't remove completely the verbal deference in your language.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Reduce verbal deference to sound assertive.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: To learn how to be assertive and speak powerfully, write down what you want to communicate or say.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Then condense this down so you get your message across as directly as possible.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't beat around the bush, don't hedge your message or don't apologize in your message.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: You are specific, not vague in how you communicate to the other person.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Remove emotional language.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: When you have your talking points as concise as possible, speak them aloud and listen to how it sounds.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Go back and revise your talking points.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Repeat until you are happy.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Keep practicing, and this process gets quicker and quicker until you find yourself naturally thinking and speaking assertively at work.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Practicing in this way is great for how to be assertive when communicating without being aggressive.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, to speak confidently at work, here are seven ways to deliver your message more assertively.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: To deliver your message confidently, think about how you use your voice and how you use your facial expressions and body language.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: The first of our tips to instantly sound more confident when speaking is to work on keeping a medium pace of voice.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: To speak clearly, speak a little bit slower than you might naturally.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: A slightly slower place gives you a space to form all your words clearly and makes your message easier to understand and take in for the other person.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Project your voice so that it is easy for your audience to hear you.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Match the volume to the distance between you and the room that you're in.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: When speaking one-on-one, your voice can be softer than when you're speaking to a group in a meeting room where you should project your voice much more.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, to emphasize the key points, speak them more slowly and leave a pause after each key point.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, you must look at the person you are speaking to and maintain good eye contact while speaking without being aggressive or intimidating.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Keep a consistent visual connection with them.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, keep your facial expression open and relatively neutral.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Don't smile too much or be too positive in expression to be assertive.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Smiling and positivity are deferential behaviours.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sixth, hold yourself upright and tall with your back straight regardless if you're sitting or standing.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hold your head upright.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't stoop or make yourself physically smaller when communicating assertively.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And seventh, match the emotions in your voice and body language to the message that you are communicating.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Alignment of all the different ways that you communicate, verbally and non-verbally, makes it a lot easier for the other person to accept, take in and understand your message.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't have alignment, the other person is confused and doesn't take it in or doesn't trust what you are saying.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Practice in front of a mirror or film yourself speaking and review that film.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: It does take practice to control and manage how you speak and what you communicate nonverbally.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: The more practice you put in, the better and more confidently you will speak and deliver your message to others.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Practice, practice, practice.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: So, in summary, I've given you 11 tips for how to sound assertive quickly.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: You are probably doing many of them already.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself how can you improve what you are currently doing and incorporate the tips which you are not yet doing?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can always do more to improve how you communicate, yet I'm still working at it hard after several decades of leading many teams and businesses.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a leader, a board director, or a senior manager and are looking to improve how assertively and confidently you speak and communicate, visit us at enhance.training and select coaching.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or just get in touch by emailing me at support at enhance.training.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions on how to sound assertive quickly, 11 tips to speak confidently at work, please email me at support at enhance.training and I'll get back to you.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks very much for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.