Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Factory of Sadness

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Hour 3 - Factory of Sadness · The Ben Maller Show

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Speaker 1: The Benny Man Can, the Benny Man Can? How do
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Speaker 1: you do? It's our number three, Our number three, The
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Speaker 1: Ben Mather Show with the Fifth Hour podcast available today.
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Speaker 1: New episode will drop on Saturday. Haven't done that one
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Speaker 1: yet either, And on Sunday the mail Bag. So check
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Speaker 1: out the Fifth Hour podcast for your weekend audio needs.
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Speaker 1: And on this Friday, June nineteenth, juneteenth, the holiday, what's
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Speaker 1: the vibe from Deshaun Watson's OTAs struggles in Cleveland? We'll
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Speaker 1: talk about that. Also, did Todd Bowles just accuse his
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Speaker 1: own Bucks team of quitting the coach saying essentially his
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Speaker 1: team quit without actually saying the word quit. We'll take
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Speaker 1: a look at that. And how do you classify Colts
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Speaker 1: defensive back Sauce Gardner, one of the top defensive players
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Speaker 1: in the NFL having to address his age during OTAs.
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Speaker 1: I'm not making that up. We'll get to all of
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Speaker 1: those things and more right now, settle in. It's our
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Speaker 1: number three. The Factory of Sadness continues to produce content
1:11
Speaker 1: on a daily basis. Welcome in the beginning of another
1:17
Speaker 1: hour of The Ben Malor Show. We are in the
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Speaker 1: air a re where this is a buffet. What kind
1:26
Speaker 1: of a phase of the seafood buffets. I don't like seafood.
1:29
Speaker 1: Is it is it? It is a beef? Is it vegetarian? No,
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Speaker 1: it is a word buffet. We are serving a word buffet.
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Speaker 1: We are I know, and we know. There's no peace
1:40
Speaker 1: for the wicked who eat the buffet. Coast to coast,
1:44
Speaker 1: border to border and beyond. On the vast and sublimely
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Speaker 1: powerful microphones of fs are emmnating live from the Hammer
1:56
Speaker 1: the Sledgehammer Squad in the back of the room. Ron
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Speaker 1: teed Human in the world famous Fox Sports radio studios,
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Speaker 1: where legends like Rich Herrera have worked in the past.
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Speaker 1: Now a political commentator and Rjay in La reminds us
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Speaker 1: this hour made possible part by our friends at tire
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Speaker 1: Johnny Q reached out and said, Ben, the people would
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Speaker 1: like to know about home Depot. I said, are you
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Speaker 1: sure about that, Johnny Q? He said yes, truck or
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Speaker 1: Joe has asked as well, and I said, if Chrucker
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Speaker 1: Joe asked and you want, Johnny Q, we'll do it.
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Speaker 1: Upgrade your FIFA World Cup twenty twenty six set up,
3:02
Speaker 1: build it like Beckham from living room to lawn with
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Speaker 1: the home Depot and take the fast free delivery assists.
3:10
Speaker 1: The Home Depot Official FIFA World Cup twenty twenty six supporter,
3:14
Speaker 1: subject to availability. And if you were watching the World
3:20
Speaker 1: Cup games checking out what was going on, you noticed
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Speaker 1: that Mexico beat the Republic of Korea won to nothing
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Speaker 1: in Guadalajara. I believe the game was played. I actually
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Speaker 1: watched them of this game and I loved it. Halftime
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Speaker 1: they had the studio people doing the halftime obviously, and
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Speaker 1: they asked for what. The woman asked the dude, one
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Speaker 1: of the former soccer players, for commentary, and he said,
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Speaker 1: there's really nothing to say because it was zero zero
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Speaker 1: at halftime. I'm like, dude, they're paying you a lot
3:52
Speaker 1: of money. At least go over to sportscliche dot com
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Speaker 1: and figure it out but Mexico won won nothing. Switzerland
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Speaker 1: destroying Bosnia Hertzgovina as well four to one. So some
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Speaker 1: of the scores there. And how about our friends from
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Speaker 1: Canada six nothing, which I think is like seventy three
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Speaker 1: to nothing in real football, our American football. The Canadians
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Speaker 1: in Vancouver. What a beautiful city Vancouver is. We were
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Speaker 1: there last year and they beat Cutter six nothing. So
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Speaker 1: some of the events that took place at the World Cup,
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Speaker 1: and everyone that went to those games, if they had
4:28
Speaker 1: the Fox one app, they could have watched on their device.
4:32
Speaker 1: That's right. The excitement of the FIFA World Cup is
4:34
Speaker 1: now streaming live on Fox one, the official English streaming platform,
4:39
Speaker 1: to catch every unforgettable moment. For example, later on today
4:43
Speaker 1: three o'clock eastern noon Pacific, USA, USA, the Tmusa will
4:49
Speaker 1: take on Australia and that is in Seattle, but you
4:53
Speaker 1: can watch the game on Fox one. Brings the action
4:55
Speaker 1: straight to your screen, so you never miss a goal.
4:58
Speaker 1: Download Fox one and experienced for World Cup. And you
5:00
Speaker 1: gotta get it right now. I know the World Cup's
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Speaker 1: been going on for a little bit. We're gonna crank
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Speaker 1: it up a couple of notches. This event goes on
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Speaker 1: till July nineteenth. Today is June nineteenth, so you can
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Speaker 1: do the math on that. We've got another month of
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Speaker 1: this event. We're only like eight days in to the
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Speaker 1: World Cup, so it's gonna get very dramatic. There will
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Speaker 1: be people losing their mind, will get all those videos
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Speaker 1: of people breaking their televisions because their team didn't win.
5:26
Speaker 1: And there'll be people turning over buses because that's what
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Speaker 1: we do as sports fans, when your team wins or loses,
5:31
Speaker 1: you do that. Now, the people that drive to these games,
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6:12
Speaker 1: I think We're good. Yes, are we good? Everything good?
6:14
Speaker 1: Here beautiful? Sorry, we'll get back to the commercials. We
6:18
Speaker 1: pause the commercials now to do the show and our
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Speaker 1: lead this hour from the Factory of Sadness. We go
6:26
Speaker 1: to the factory of sadness, the gift that keeps on
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Speaker 1: giving Status update, Status update, We have the always riveting
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Speaker 1: Quarterback Drama Orama. If you have not heard the latest,
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Speaker 1: perhaps not. We are told that Deshaun Watson has been
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Speaker 1: unimpressive during the Browns OTA's lacking consistency. Yippi Kaya. That's
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Speaker 1: the report. Deshaun Watson not looking so great, according to
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Speaker 1: multiple people who claim to know what they're talking about
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Speaker 1: and actually have to watch the Cleveland Browns practice. That
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Speaker 1: is a good jumping off point. Let us discuss the
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Speaker 1: question what is the vibe? What is the vibe for
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Speaker 1: Deshaun Watson's OTA struggles in Cleveland. So I've got Pollock,
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Speaker 1: Parina and Vains and we will combine all of these
7:22
Speaker 1: things together and we are going to fill your ear
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Speaker 1: drums with the sweet melody of hot sports takes. Don't
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Speaker 1: get too close, don't get too close now, you might burn,
7:33
Speaker 1: you might burn, all right, So my first thing here
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Speaker 1: to answer the question, what is the vibe the police?
7:39
Speaker 1: What is the vibe? This is not a revelation. It
7:42
Speaker 1: is what we used to call back in the old days,
7:44
Speaker 1: a rerun, believe it or not, before everything was streamed,
7:48
Speaker 1: they're a syndicated rerun would be on every single channel.
7:53
Speaker 1: Like those of us that are of the certain age,
7:55
Speaker 1: we grew up having to watch really horrific shows from
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Speaker 1: thirty years before we were born, because that's all that
8:03
Speaker 1: was on television when we were kids. Are better anow
8:06
Speaker 1: as you would be like, it's a trip to the
8:08
Speaker 1: public library. When's the last time you went to a library.
8:12
Speaker 1: Be honest, it's been a while, all right, Come on,
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Speaker 1: maybe you've never been to a library. You don't have
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Speaker 1: a library car. So it's another quiet chapter, the same
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Speaker 1: dusty book, the same overdue book, fees and the fines
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Speaker 1: and all that. So again we're hearing that neither Watson
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Speaker 1: or Shiter Sanders shined during ota practices at the Factory
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Speaker 1: of Status. No one saw this coming except everyone saw
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Speaker 1: this coming. Stevie Meatballs blind saw this, Blind Sea Bass
8:43
Speaker 1: saw this, Blind Emmett saw this. Inca terror, They all
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Speaker 1: saw it. Everyone saw it, all our star blind callers
8:52
Speaker 1: and listeners saw. The only surprise would have been if
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Speaker 1: this did not happen, that would have been a surprise.
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Speaker 1: Deshaun Watson's production. It should be talked about over on
9:03
Speaker 1: Coast to Coast with George Nori. It's paranormal. You hear
9:07
Speaker 1: about it, you never actually see it, and when you
9:11
Speaker 1: see it, it's kind of grainy video and it's like, weird,
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Speaker 1: what's going on? Look at He's in year four of
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Speaker 1: a five year reboot, so good luck on that. And
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Speaker 1: Cleveland's OTAs, this is where Hope goes to get sunburned
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Speaker 1: and dehydrated. Is the Cleveland OTAs. The Browns coach, Todd
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Speaker 1: Munk and the Munkman. He wanted clarity and I want
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Speaker 1: to know who my quarterback is. I need clarity. And
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Speaker 1: he showed up to OTA's. He has his haircut which
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Speaker 1: is very nice, and he got Todd munkin a Jackson
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Speaker 1: Pollock painting which is just a mix of splatters and
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Speaker 1: drips and lacks any recognizable signs of life, any real
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Speaker 1: objects there to Jackson Pollock painting. And that's the Browns
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Speaker 1: quarterback rule at this particular point. Now, I don't have
10:02
Speaker 1: a dog in the fight. I met some very nice
10:05
Speaker 1: people from Ohio. Many of you drove down from Cleveland
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Speaker 1: down to Kentucky to hang out with us, and we're
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Speaker 1: grateful that you did. And you seem like good salt
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Speaker 1: of the earth people. But Mann does your team blow?
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Speaker 1: Holy crap? I know, Shenor Sanders. There were some people
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Speaker 1: that were doing I think stories that were put out
10:23
Speaker 1: there for Dion, like friends of Dion, and his thing
10:27
Speaker 1: was the check me out jog, which I don't think
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Speaker 1: counts as progress. But ah, you're such a hater, mallor Yeah,
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Speaker 1: the Browns quarterback room still remains. There's a choice. You
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Speaker 1: choose your own misadventure. You choose your own misadventure, and
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Speaker 1: so file that right under things we all knew were coming.
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Speaker 1: So good good luck on that. The owing better would
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Speaker 1: be if the Browns were to give up a draft
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Speaker 1: pick to take Brendan Soresby the gambling man who's entering
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Speaker 1: these supplement draft, which will be next month now. Secondly
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Speaker 1: to Tampa Bay we go in a follow up follow
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Speaker 1: up to a previous hour of the show. We talked
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Speaker 1: earlier in a previous edition of the show, but one
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Speaker 1: of my favorite coaches not actually to coach the team
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Speaker 1: just to give soundbites. I adore Todd Bowles, Man, is
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Speaker 1: this guy a good SoundBite? He doesn't play the game.
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Speaker 1: He's not your standard boring, milk toast coach who just
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Speaker 1: gives cliches and all that. So Todd Bowles, who's coached
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Speaker 1: three NFL teams as a head coach, Cardinals, Jets, and
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Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's been in Tampa a few years. So Bucks
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Speaker 1: coach Todd Bowles suggested that last year's team, the twenty
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Speaker 1: twenty five team, took plays off, took plays off, and
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Speaker 1: that contributed to their late season collapse. Tampa got off
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Speaker 1: to a six and two start, they were the toast
11:55
Speaker 1: of the NFL, and then reality settled in. So in
11:59
Speaker 1: recent interview, all this happened a couple days ago, Todd Bowles, Well,
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Speaker 1: maybe I asked you yesterday. Todd Bowles discussed what went wrong
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Speaker 1: for the team and what they need to do to improve,
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Speaker 1: and he talked about the usual preparation execution, all that rigamarore,
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Speaker 1: and he said, play every opponent the same, claiming the
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Speaker 1: implication there that the team was would get up for
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Speaker 1: certain games and not for ugs and learning to finish
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Speaker 1: and how to close out games instead of relaxing and
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Speaker 1: all that and having alpha dogs earth alpha dogs on
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Speaker 1: the roster who coached themselves and elevate the team. All right,
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Speaker 1: So the question did Todd Bowles just break decorum and
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Speaker 1: accuse his own buccaneer players of taking plays off and
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Speaker 1: being lazy, lazy, lazy lazy without actually saying the word quit.
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Speaker 1: He used the word didn't use the word quit. He
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Speaker 1: employed so I'm I'm not in my head. Yes, you
13:04
Speaker 1: can see that if you are watching on YouTube at
13:07
Speaker 1: Ben Moulin. I'm not in my head. Yes, my eyes
13:09
Speaker 1: are closed. I'm not in my head. Yes, yes, So
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Speaker 1: the implication is rather clear, bulls. He not only laid
13:15
Speaker 1: out his players, he also laid out the front office
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Speaker 1: that they're not getting the right players, they're not drafting
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Speaker 1: enough alpha dogs on the roster, and so he ripped them.
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Speaker 1: He ripped his players for taking plays off. He basically said,
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Speaker 1: Todd Bowles the quiet part out loud, that the Buccaneers
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Speaker 1: of last year got comfortable, they got cute, and they
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Speaker 1: got caught and this is why we love this guy.
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Speaker 1: He didn't drop the Q word, however, He described quitting
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Speaker 1: in every way except the spelling, all right, And so
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Speaker 1: you know, took plays off is just polite coach speak
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Speaker 1: for my veterans were on the lazy river having a cocktail.
13:58
Speaker 1: And you might want to the pirena kitty little litter there,
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Speaker 1: the kitty little thing. Because the Buccaneers were a team
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Speaker 1: last year based on I'm just using some psychobabble here,
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Speaker 1: the Buccaneers were a team of housecats, housecats pretending to
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Speaker 1: be dogs. We need more dolls. We don't need no cats,
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Speaker 1: we need dogs. And Todd Bowles essentially admitted also the
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Speaker 1: locker room tuned him out. So he's throwing himself under
14:24
Speaker 1: the bus because that's an indictment of your coaching. The
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Speaker 1: team's not paying attention. We assume that Todd Bowles didn't
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Speaker 1: tell his players to take opponents lightly, and he so
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Speaker 1: he ripped the front office, he ripped the players, and
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Speaker 1: he ripped himself. And it's mostly self incrimination that he
14:41
Speaker 1: ha it's a roster problem, it's also a coaching problem.
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Speaker 1: And so now he wants twenty twenty six, he wants
14:47
Speaker 1: to find the alpha dogs, no days off, finish your food, football,
14:52
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. And so we'll see if the
14:55
Speaker 1: house Cats actually buy in this time or not. And
14:59
Speaker 1: there's a lot of moving parts. You look at teams
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Speaker 1: that are on the brink. Tampa, you got Baker Mayfield
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Speaker 1: heading into his lame duck year. Todd Bowles is on
15:09
Speaker 1: the hot seat. That's a team that could go either way.
15:12
Speaker 1: Either they end up winning ten games and they make
15:15
Speaker 1: the playoffs and they win a playoff game, or they
15:17
Speaker 1: end up winning six games again and then that's it.
15:21
Speaker 1: See you later, turn out the last the party's over all, right,
15:25
Speaker 1: Final five to Indianapolis. We go a city of fountains,
15:32
Speaker 1: a city of circles, traffic circles, good steak, good good
15:37
Speaker 1: food there in Indianapolis anyway. So Colts cornerback defensive back
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Speaker 1: Sauce Garden, let's get saucy. So this is something I
15:45
Speaker 1: haven't seen very often in football. Sauce Gardner was busy
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Speaker 1: clarifying his age this week. Did you see this? I
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Speaker 1: thought this was odd? It's odd, right, yeah, Okay, So
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Speaker 1: he said, hey, I'm twenty four where I was born
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Speaker 1: August thirty first, twenty one, not twenty five. So there
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Speaker 1: were some factions different parts of the world Wide Web
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Speaker 1: that said he's actually twenty five. Not twenty four. And
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Speaker 1: so the final day of Indianapolis Mini camp, the defensive
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Speaker 1: back who's done things that haven't been seen in the
16:18
Speaker 1: NFL in many years. He addressed the discrepancy in the
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Speaker 1: room I was asked about. He said, I'm twenty four.
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Speaker 1: I'm twenty four. It's crazy that I'm even being asked this,
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Speaker 1: he says. He noted that all the official paperwork, all
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Speaker 1: the legal bull crap that you have to do when
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Speaker 1: you play in the NFL, all of it lists his
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Speaker 1: birth year as twenty twenty one. He says he was
16:43
Speaker 1: surprised to learn that the Madden game even had the
16:46
Speaker 1: wrong birthday. Now, he laughed at Off, he's just joking around,
16:49
Speaker 1: saying he'll ask his mom for confirmation. So, the question,
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Speaker 1: how do you classify one of the more well known players,
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Speaker 1: certainly defensively, he's more well known than most. Saw Gardener
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Speaker 1: of the Colts having to address how old he is.
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Speaker 1: So it's simple. This is the kind of peak offseason
17:09
Speaker 1: content that keeps sports radio's engine going. This is the
17:15
Speaker 1: good stuff. It is the good stuf. Seriously, you see
17:19
Speaker 1: my vein right there, I want you to inject that
17:20
Speaker 1: into my vein. This is the kind of stuff we love.
17:22
Speaker 1: Sauce correcting his own age is the perfect June football
17:27
Speaker 1: commentary that we need. That's the kind of Ota story
17:31
Speaker 1: that we want. We have a grown man who is
17:34
Speaker 1: considered an elite defensive back, who the Jets traded away
17:39
Speaker 1: for a couple of scratcher tickets, A franchise cornerstone of
17:42
Speaker 1: the Colts defense, shut down allegedly defensive back who has
17:47
Speaker 1: to explain in front of a gaggle of reporters how
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Speaker 1: old he is. I give Madden, who's in bed with
17:55
Speaker 1: the NFL. The Madden game. Can't get the birthday right?
17:58
Speaker 1: How am I supposed to trust the player ratings? I'm Madden.
18:01
Speaker 1: Things that make you go hoom, things that make you
18:03
Speaker 1: go whom? And this is if you have a certain age.
18:05
Speaker 1: This is a throwbackshity. These things used to happen all
18:07
Speaker 1: the time in the eighties, nineties, and odds of two thousand.
18:12
Speaker 1: In baseball, you'd have that star shortstop who would show
18:17
Speaker 1: up to spring training and says, well, this guy's actually
18:20
Speaker 1: three years older than his birth certific.
18:21
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no.
18:22
Speaker 1: He'd have to correct his age, and he'd argues, oh
18:24
Speaker 1: no no, look at the back of the baseball card. Okay,
18:27
Speaker 1: I think you're a fraud so Softgartner Saucy checking his
18:31
Speaker 1: own age. I love the idea that he called his mom,
18:34
Speaker 1: Hey mom, how old are my mom? Very relatable. I
18:38
Speaker 1: guess if you're having issues about how old you are.
18:41
Speaker 1: And he just became the first all pro level defensive
18:46
Speaker 1: player to challenge Google and apparently win because the Google
18:49
Speaker 1: machine was off a little bit. It is the Ban
18:53
Speaker 1: Mallor Show. If you'd like to be part line open
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Speaker 1: eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. How Dare You
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Speaker 1: not Take Advantage? Eight seven seven nine nine six six
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Speaker 1: three sixty nine, also on X at Ben Mahllor. That's
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Speaker 1: and the whole thing eight seven seven ninety nine one Fox,
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Speaker 1: on X at Ben Maller time. Now for the Mallor
19:36
Speaker 1: Riddle of the day. And here's the Mallard Riddle of
19:40
Speaker 1: the day. A blatant attempt to get you to listen
19:43
Speaker 1: a little bit longer. We'll see if it works. So
19:46
Speaker 1: Nickstar McHale Bridges I say that in their quotes uh
19:50
Speaker 1: New York Knickerbocker McHale Bridges brought Blank to the Knicks
19:54
Speaker 1: Championship Parade, which caught some people's attention.
19:58
Speaker 3: Again.
19:58
Speaker 1: McKale bridges, basket ball player for the Knickerbockers, brought Blank
20:02
Speaker 1: to the Knicks Championship Parade in the Canyon of Heroes.
20:07
Speaker 1: That is the Mallord riddle of the day. The answer.
20:11
Speaker 1: We'll get to it, and we will do it next.
20:17
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
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Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
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Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio.
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Speaker 4: to grow, and I have brought it here to Ibarker.
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Speaker 4: I'm also doing a live radio show from three to
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Speaker 4: five pm Eastern because.
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Speaker 1: My wife wanted to kick me out of the house.
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Speaker 4: It's called Stegatzi Company Live, which is available in podcast
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Speaker 4: form right when the show finishes every single day. Some
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Speaker 4: Please subscribe, rate and review Steve Gottson Company and God
21:14
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21:29
Speaker 1: Steven Mallor show You're locked in Bill Miller here as
21:32
Speaker 1: we hang out together all night long under the cover
21:35
Speaker 1: of darkness. You can be part of the show the
21:39
Speaker 1: call in numbers eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox.
21:43
Speaker 1: That's eight seven, seven nine nine six six three sixty nine.
21:47
Speaker 1: You can answer the Mallord Riddle of the Day, the
21:51
Speaker 1: who am My Game, the Insta trivia, and all the
21:53
Speaker 1: other bits that we have on the show. Via x
21:57
Speaker 1: at Ben Mahlor m A L L Er people answering
22:03
Speaker 1: the riddle right now, Lorena is here, FSR Tech Queen
22:07
Speaker 1: Hi Bell, she is right there. And you can also
22:10
Speaker 1: say hello to Cooble Loop at a Bronco fan. He's
22:16
Speaker 1: a weapon and Broncoven. Your comments can We'll be used
22:19
Speaker 1: against you in the quart of sports radio, so please
22:21
Speaker 1: act accordingly. Yeah, back to what we go. And for
22:29
Speaker 1: a moment I thought I had seen Sir scratch Off's
22:31
Speaker 1: name on my board, but apparently that was a false alarm.
22:34
Speaker 1: We'll get to the calls and it sec here's the
22:36
Speaker 1: payoff on the always popular riddle of the day. So
22:40
Speaker 1: McHale bridges, that's a basketball player. He brought Blank to
22:44
Speaker 1: the Knickerbockers Championship parade, which people thought was a little
22:48
Speaker 1: interesting that you would bring that to the championship parade.
22:51
Speaker 1: What are you doing here? So that is the riddle?
22:54
Speaker 1: What is the answer? And see King Roy says he
22:57
Speaker 1: brought weed man Hippie to the would be Let's see
23:02
Speaker 1: what do we have his friends from Bikini Bottom. That's
23:06
Speaker 1: from Alf the alien ol Piner. Who else do we
23:09
Speaker 1: have Stevie meatballs in Florida? He brought the ringer is
23:16
Speaker 1: what he said. That's from Steve Meetboles, his dealer, from
23:19
Speaker 1: Nick his grandmama guessed by Ike and Roseville, Minnesota. A
23:23
Speaker 1: super soaker filled with tequila from j T. The Wingman.
23:28
Speaker 1: Craig says Bridges brought Damn Looney Tunes brought Damn Looney too,
23:33
Speaker 1: Yeah he did. That's clearly. What else we have let's
23:36
Speaker 1: see hear? Johnny Q says an inflatable device. All right.
23:41
Speaker 1: Emotional baggage from my Leen in San Francisco. Page Dan
23:46
Speaker 1: Doug Monkey Bizz Doug says a spare pair of undies
23:50
Speaker 1: for the light poll climbing lady. Okay, Deacon rights and
23:55
Speaker 1: says his dominatrix. He brought his dominatrix. Who else do
23:58
Speaker 1: we have? Page Dan Timmy Busco Indiana says he brought
24:02
Speaker 1: his nephew Nick Okay. Nice Rebecca the ram fan, she
24:08
Speaker 1: got it right. Bad job by her. What you trying
24:10
Speaker 1: to ruin the bit? Shame on you, Rebecca. I'm gonna
24:13
Speaker 1: put you in the penalty box. You're on the naughty list.
24:15
Speaker 1: Filler up, Phil, says the worm. Dennis Rodman, Pizza Papa
24:20
Speaker 1: says Bridges brought Marcel and Uncle Dynamite to the parade.
24:24
Speaker 1: What else do we have? Page down? Ten pounds of
24:27
Speaker 1: confetti to throw at the fans. That's from Mike the leprecaon,
24:32
Speaker 1: who's writing his book right now. A box of fruit
24:34
Speaker 1: loops from courtesy Flusher. What else? Not a burner went
24:38
Speaker 1: with the iconic line hookers and cocaine. M not a burner.
24:43
Speaker 1: Late night drug tester says he bought knockoff championship T
24:47
Speaker 1: shirts is what he brought. What else?
24:50
Speaker 5: Oh?
24:50
Speaker 1: The Ostro jann is up early in DC. Ostro jan
24:53
Speaker 1: says he brought dom Domino, the carryout connoisseur to the parade.
24:59
Speaker 1: Very specific? Do you have that's good good looking puppet
25:01
Speaker 1: though Ostrich chant good looking puppet, Larina, do you have
25:04
Speaker 1: an answer? It is the Mallord riddle of the day.
25:06
Speaker 1: Mckel Bridges, that's a basketball player, we are told brought
25:09
Speaker 1: Blank to the Knicks championship parade. I was going to
25:13
Speaker 1: say a feather boa feather bow. That seems reasonable. Why not?
25:18
Speaker 1: Uh No, that was incorrect. The Knick star, I say star,
25:22
Speaker 1: not really star. Mickel Bridges brought his dog, his dog
25:28
Speaker 1: to the championship parade. So my question is let's say
25:32
Speaker 1: they're on the float and the dog has to go
25:34
Speaker 1: to a to a number one or a number two option.
25:38
Speaker 1: Does it just it just goes on the boat or
25:40
Speaker 1: the float thing or whatever. That's it. That's just how
25:42
Speaker 1: that's it. I mean, the dog has to go. I
25:44
Speaker 1: don't think there's a like in New York. There's there's
25:47
Speaker 1: not a lot of places for dogs to go to
25:48
Speaker 1: the bathroom. I don't know if you knows. Anyways, go
25:50
Speaker 1: to the phones. We'll say hello to Eenie Meani miney mo.
25:54
Speaker 1: Let's say hello to Steve oh in Manhattan. Hello Steve
25:59
Speaker 1: in Manhattan.
25:59
Speaker 3: Well, Victor Wanda rama head slappers outload. About fifty years ago,
26:08
Speaker 3: Ben distinguished panel expanding audience, Welcome day. He and uh
26:14
Speaker 3: Victor Rapperroop. He was auditioning for the New York Jacksons.
26:18
Speaker 3: People didn't understand what was going on for the last
26:21
Speaker 3: two weeks. And first I want to just throw this
26:24
Speaker 3: out the audience because somebody gave me this. Should I
26:28
Speaker 3: have some a big steak of liver herever you want
26:31
Speaker 3: to call it for breakfast this morning. I hain't liver,
26:34
Speaker 3: but it's sitting in the fridge.
26:36
Speaker 1: And yeah, now I don't eat don't do you know?
26:40
Speaker 1: You know what, I don't like it. I don't like it,
26:42
Speaker 1: eat it, don't eat it, don't eat it. You don't
26:44
Speaker 1: like it, don't eat it?
26:46
Speaker 3: I know. But you know sometimes they say, oh, he
26:48
Speaker 3: made you know whatever? Wos Why?
26:50
Speaker 1: Why can I ask you a question? Why do you
26:53
Speaker 1: have liver? If you don't like it? Why is it
26:55
Speaker 1: in your in your home? What's up with that?
26:56
Speaker 3: Because somebody, somebody gave it.
26:58
Speaker 1: To me, and you know why they you know why
27:01
Speaker 1: they gave it you because they don't like it either.
27:04
Speaker 1: So you should give it to somebody else that make it.
27:07
Speaker 1: Like the you know that thing around the holidays with
27:08
Speaker 1: the fruitcake where it gets passed around. Just give past
27:11
Speaker 1: the liver onto somebody else.
27:13
Speaker 3: That's it, and we could have like a segment of
27:16
Speaker 3: the show guess what sin steas refrigerator. But and my
27:19
Speaker 3: other favorite food is sitting right in there with it. Onions.
27:23
Speaker 3: I love, you know, I really When I was a kid,
27:26
Speaker 3: I couldn't even walk into the house if my grandmother
27:28
Speaker 3: was cooking liver and onions.
27:30
Speaker 1: But anyway, what about garlic? What about garlic?
27:34
Speaker 3: You're not a garlic well, garlic too is that is
27:37
Speaker 3: kind of rough too. You know, you don't think you
27:39
Speaker 3: can't hide, You can't cant. You cannot camouflage liver, onions
27:44
Speaker 3: or garlic, that's for sure.
27:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love I don't like liver. I like and
27:47
Speaker 1: my mom made it when I was a kid too,
27:49
Speaker 1: and I didn't like it. When she made it. I
27:50
Speaker 1: yelled at her, but she didn't care because I was
27:51
Speaker 1: a kid, so she'd get me in trouble with. I
27:53
Speaker 1: don't like vegetables, don't like liver, I like onions. I
27:56
Speaker 1: like garlic. I'm okay with that. Garlic's good for you, Yeah.
28:00
Speaker 3: No, it is. It's very good for you. So obviously,
28:02
Speaker 3: like Jackue Laine used to say, if it doesn't taste good,
28:06
Speaker 3: it's good for you. Or if it tastes good and
28:08
Speaker 3: it's kind of like hot, well some really strong, it's
28:11
Speaker 3: probably good for you and stuff like that. But I
28:13
Speaker 3: never knew that Jacqueline was a vegetarian. Well, they just
28:16
Speaker 3: putting it on. And you know how you know you've
28:18
Speaker 3: been out of work a long time, you buy the
28:21
Speaker 3: Jacqueline juice or twice because you're out of work. You
28:25
Speaker 3: watch the TV. You buy it six months lane and
28:27
Speaker 3: you still out of work. You buy it again. You
28:28
Speaker 3: don't even know you bought it because you don't even
28:30
Speaker 3: use it.
28:30
Speaker 1: But anyway, that is a very Let me tell you
28:33
Speaker 1: something that is a very relevant reference. Jacque Lolaine, Lorena.
28:36
Speaker 1: Do you know who Jacqueline is? Lorene? Are you familiar
28:39
Speaker 1: with the work of Jacqueline? No, I don't believe so
28:42
Speaker 1: you do not know. I mean, this is a legend.
28:45
Speaker 1: You probably don't know who he is because he's been
28:47
Speaker 1: dead for fifteen years. But he was a big star
28:50
Speaker 1: back in the day. Yeah, he was.
28:54
Speaker 3: And there's a certain generation of kids out there who
28:58
Speaker 3: hated Jacqueline. And there's a reason why because he used
29:01
Speaker 3: to come on before the little rascals.
29:04
Speaker 2: And you had a little watch him.
29:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had to watch him, and he had I
29:08
Speaker 3: believe you had a German shepherd. The German shepherd would
29:11
Speaker 3: do push ups and stuff like that, and and the
29:14
Speaker 3: rest is history. He was unbelievable, Jack.
29:16
Speaker 1: Going, Yeah, I love the I love the references. I
29:19
Speaker 1: can't get enough. His wife, by the way, is still alive.
29:22
Speaker 1: How about that? The first lady of fitness. She's one
29:25
Speaker 1: hundred years old, she's still a god bless her.
29:27
Speaker 3: So right, well, and they ate well pretty good, and
29:30
Speaker 3: they had the Jacqueline Juicy going.
29:32
Speaker 1: Well, he lived lived to be ninety six. That's a
29:34
Speaker 1: good run. Ninety six is a solid run. So yeah, right, well,
29:37
Speaker 1: well this is nothing to do with sports. You didn't
29:39
Speaker 1: go to the parade, I assume no parade for you.
29:42
Speaker 3: Uh no, no, Well technically I was in Manhattan.
29:46
Speaker 2: So.
29:48
Speaker 1: You were.
29:49
Speaker 5: You were.
29:49
Speaker 1: You were counted as part of the crowd at the parade.
29:52
Speaker 1: Even though you were not at the parade, they counted
29:54
Speaker 1: you as someone at the parade. That would be my guess.
29:58
Speaker 3: I was asked, because yeah, most of the people couldn't
30:01
Speaker 3: even get close. This parade was, I believe, the first
30:05
Speaker 3: one where they actually put the horse. You know, they
30:08
Speaker 3: put those barriers up and you couldn't even get in.
30:11
Speaker 3: You could as soon as that plays loaded up down
30:14
Speaker 3: the long to play round, you could not get and
30:16
Speaker 3: you had to rid side blocks. And of course it's
30:20
Speaker 3: New York City and you really don't see them anymore.
30:23
Speaker 3: The boot leg has came out. You see these guys
30:25
Speaker 3: selling T shirts.
30:27
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they made it, killing all that fake merch.
30:29
Speaker 1: It was everywhere, right. I want I want some of that.
30:33
Speaker 1: I want that that's a good stuff, that fake merch man.
30:35
Speaker 3: That's where it's at, especially after you wash the T
30:38
Speaker 3: shirt and the New York Knicks comes off the front
30:39
Speaker 3: of the shirt. But because they legalized boot leg and
30:43
Speaker 3: they let them sit on Canal Street, plus.
30:47
Speaker 1: They've legalized it, they just look the other way, you know,
30:49
Speaker 1: that's that kind of right.
30:51
Speaker 3: Well, they're sitting out there every day and no one
30:53
Speaker 3: choosed to do anything. But they used to overtake the concerts.
30:57
Speaker 3: Those guys, they would come in, do their thing, bang zoom,
31:00
Speaker 3: walk around the proud the kids. You know, we would
31:03
Speaker 3: think they were regular vendors and stuff. Like I said,
31:05
Speaker 3: you watched the T shirt and led Zeffely came out
31:08
Speaker 3: in front of your shirt. But anyway, all.
31:10
Speaker 1: Right, well we've got this May. We talked to Jack Lolaine,
31:13
Speaker 1: We've talked little rascals, Gobu Canon, Gobu Canon, Gobu canan
31:19
Speaker 1: are we're moving on from you. Let's say hello to
31:21
Speaker 1: el Moo after dark? Hello, Elmo, welcome, Hi Elmo? Can
31:30
Speaker 1: we help you?
31:33
Speaker 5: I say heart on Lorena.
31:35
Speaker 1: Oh boy, all right, Lorena, Elmo would like to say
31:39
Speaker 1: hello to you. Elmo is on the line here, Lorena,
31:42
Speaker 1: how are you doing? Elmo after all the emotional abuse
31:45
Speaker 1: you got from the Knicks fans for switching sides.
31:49
Speaker 5: Oh it's okay, Lorena. I just wanted to.
31:51
Speaker 1: Say hi, Hi Elmo. Okay, thank you. All right, that
31:57
Speaker 1: was wonderful. Let's say hello to Andrea in Berkeley. Hello
32:00
Speaker 1: Andrea the astrology Insider. Hello Andrea.
32:06
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I'm here.
32:08
Speaker 1: There she is. She's got to wake up right now,
32:10
Speaker 1: hold on, wake up. Everything's okay, Everything's all right.
32:13
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, No, I'm a night owl. Even if I
32:16
Speaker 5: don't call in, you know, I'm a loyal listener. I'm
32:18
Speaker 5: listening to the show. But yeah, I just had a
32:22
Speaker 5: call in. Because of the age controversy with Sauce, Gardner
32:26
Speaker 5: wanted to let you know that happens quite frequently, especially
32:30
Speaker 5: with players from the Dominican Republic Cuba Venezuela. They make
32:35
Speaker 5: themselves several years younger.
32:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, that happened for years. I don't know if it
32:39
Speaker 1: happens as much anymore, but yeah, for a long time,
32:41
Speaker 1: in the eighties, nineties and the two thousands, there'd be
32:44
Speaker 1: that shortstop who was like twenty years old, who had
32:47
Speaker 1: forty home runs and looked like he was about thirty five.
32:50
Speaker 1: And people were like, what's going on?
32:52
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, and like Bartolo Cologne was a lot older.
32:56
Speaker 5: But yeah, I just wanted to say that happens quite
32:59
Speaker 5: a bit. So interesting and I'll be calling in. Uh,
33:04
Speaker 5: there's Sunday. I'll call in the summer Solstice. Man is
33:09
Speaker 5: twenty four am on Sunday.
33:12
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so we have that to look forward to.
33:15
Speaker 1: Call in the longest is that the longest day of
33:19
Speaker 1: the year.
33:20
Speaker 5: It sure is the longest day of the year, even
33:23
Speaker 5: though it may feel like that depending on how your
33:25
Speaker 5: sports teams are doing.
33:27
Speaker 1: But you know, my my buddy's in Alaska right now
33:31
Speaker 1: and he's been sending me photos like the sun doesn't
33:33
Speaker 1: set right now. He's he's all over this. It doesn't
33:36
Speaker 1: sin till like after midnight and it's only down for
33:39
Speaker 1: like a little bit. And he's been sending me photos.
33:41
Speaker 1: See the suns you're doing a daytime show. The sun's
33:44
Speaker 1: up still. Yeah, okay, Yeah.
33:46
Speaker 5: So that'll be interesting. I'll call in Sunday. I'm working
33:49
Speaker 5: on my Summer Solstice astrology newsletter that the Malor Militia
33:53
Speaker 5: can have for free.
33:55
Speaker 1: And all right, well, very good, let us know. So
33:58
Speaker 1: Sunday we'll get more information.
33:59
Speaker 5: On about the summer soul suit. I love it, happy
34:02
Speaker 5: for the Nicks, and I'll also share some sports astrology
34:07
Speaker 5: podcasts and should be done all right by.
34:12
Speaker 1: Right, Well, thank you Andrea for letting us know. There
34:14
Speaker 1: she goes our friend Andrea. There she goes Virgo in
34:17
Speaker 1: service on X. You can find out more Virgo in
34:20
Speaker 1: Service on X. Right, it is the Ben Malor Show,
34:24
Speaker 1: The Ben Maler Show. As we are cranking up the
34:27
Speaker 1: old laugh track here, it's almost time Big Bens lame
34:33
Speaker 1: jokes all the week, all the best singers, all the
34:36
Speaker 1: best one liners, as sent in care of Benmaller Show
34:39
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. The unpaid underappreciated the joke writers
34:45
Speaker 1: who have snuck out of all corners of the world
34:48
Speaker 1: to send jokes in. So we'll have Big Ben's lame
34:50
Speaker 1: jokes of the week. We'll get to that. Get your
34:52
Speaker 1: funny bone ready to go. We'll do that, and we
34:54
Speaker 1: will do it next.
34:57
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
34:59
Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
35:03
Speaker 1: It is the Ben Malor Show. We thank you for
35:05
Speaker 1: listening to Is I Bill Miller a reminder that the Fifth
35:09
Speaker 1: Hour Podcast will be available later today and there'll be
35:13
Speaker 1: new episodes all weekend. So I know sometimes there's not
35:16
Speaker 1: a lot to listen to on the weekends. We got
35:17
Speaker 1: you covered and today's our weekend. It's Friday, beginning of
35:21
Speaker 1: the weekend for us, and then Saturday another new episode
35:24
Speaker 1: in the mail bag. Very popular on Sunday as well,
35:27
Speaker 1: So check out the Fifth Hour podcast. It'll change your
35:31
Speaker 1: life in amazing ways. Unless it does none of that,
35:33
Speaker 1: but helps us.
35:33
Speaker 2: Out Knock knock, Who's there? Blame week? Blame week too.
35:40
Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Way we
35:45
Speaker 1: go and this portion of the Ben Mallor Show made
35:47
Speaker 1: possible part by our friends at we boll. It's time
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Speaker 1: to get your financial portfolio game ready with wee Bowl.
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36:09
Speaker 1: Everyone's favorite court gesture, we sail load to weed Man,
36:14
Speaker 1: Hippie Billy in Hollywood Florida. Hello, Billy made me laugh? Okay,
36:21
Speaker 1: do I have to? I'm not gonna these people are
36:23
Speaker 1: gonna make it laugh. I'm not gonna make it laugh.
36:25
Speaker 1: The people gonna make it laugh. These are actual jokes
36:27
Speaker 1: by actual listeners. We're gonna start with a dad joke
36:29
Speaker 1: and then we'll get into your jokes. Okay, what this
36:31
Speaker 1: is from Danny from Chicago. What do you call an
36:34
Speaker 1: angry carrot? What a steam veggie? Yeah, we got to
36:43
Speaker 1: give some dad jokes out because you know it's Father's Day.
36:45
Speaker 1: It's Father's Day weekend, so you gotta do the dad juice.
36:47
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the new name for the iPhone chargers? Whoa?
36:52
Speaker 1: What it's called? Apple juice? Is what it's called? Now,
36:55
Speaker 1: that's all right? I was I was from shame who
37:00
Speaker 1: sent that? And all right? Let's get to you. A
37:01
Speaker 1: weed man? How does weedman floss when he doesn't have
37:04
Speaker 1: any teeth? How with a towel? That's from Moa and Austin. Well,
37:13
Speaker 1: here's a surprising story, weed man. This comes from Joe
37:16
Speaker 1: in Virginia Beach. He says, Floyd Mayweather has actually turned
37:19
Speaker 1: to weed man hippie for financial advice. Cool yeah, yeah,
37:25
Speaker 1: he wants to know which are the best off ramps
37:28
Speaker 1: to beg for spare change. So can you help Mount Whedman?
37:33
Speaker 1: Lincoln Road? Right, Lincoln Road?
37:35
Speaker 2: I think is what you said there?
37:36
Speaker 1: Yes, all right? How did Weedman Hippie? If you're in
37:39
Speaker 1: Miami Lincoln Road, Floyd good panhammling there at Lincoln Road
37:43
Speaker 1: and you can charge your phone. How did weed man
37:45
Speaker 1: Hippie lose his watch in a tree?
37:48
Speaker 3: How?
37:50
Speaker 1: Well, he was having a really high time. I really
37:54
Speaker 1: that's a grateful that's Daryl and the Ozarks who sent
37:58
Speaker 1: that one in. Thank you, Daryl. Did you hear that
38:00
Speaker 1: weed Man Hippie rented a limo but it did not
38:04
Speaker 1: come with a driver?
38:06
Speaker 3: Wow?
38:06
Speaker 1: Why well, apparently you spent all that money and you
38:10
Speaker 1: had nothing to chauffeur it. So that's.
38:15
Speaker 2: I like that.
38:16
Speaker 1: That's George and you've all be Texas. He's a teacher
38:19
Speaker 1: and you have all the Texas. Did you did you
38:21
Speaker 1: know weed Man Hippie complained about having to install a chimney? No? Really? Yeah,
38:27
Speaker 1: I guess you said the prices were through the roof
38:29
Speaker 1: and you were complaining about that, It said George, George,
38:33
Speaker 1: George George Eric in Kansas formerly in Iowa, Erica formerly
38:37
Speaker 1: in southern California, Riican Kansas says, why did weed Man
38:41
Speaker 1: hate his birthday present from Lisa?
38:44
Speaker 3: Why?
38:45
Speaker 1: Well, she got your work shirt. That's not very nice.
38:47
Speaker 1: Come on, what's up with that? These are actual jokes
38:52
Speaker 1: by actual listeners. It's Big Ben's lame jokes of the week.
38:55
Speaker 1: What are the Lakers prospects and weed Man's job prospects
38:58
Speaker 1: have in common? Why they both sucked? That's from Eric There.
39:04
Speaker 1: Tom from Indiana writs insists did you hear weed Man's
39:07
Speaker 1: looking forward to his kid surprising him with some stuff
39:09
Speaker 1: on Father's Day?
39:11
Speaker 3: Wow?
39:12
Speaker 5: That?
39:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, you really have high hopes? You got high host? Hey, hey,
39:18
Speaker 1: weed Man, can you can you remember the name of
39:21
Speaker 1: the guy that sends a candy weed Man?
39:23
Speaker 3: What's his name?
39:26
Speaker 1: Burrito? No? You're right? Oh damn, all right? You remember?
39:29
Speaker 4: Now?
39:30
Speaker 1: Did you? Did you know? A teacher once told weed
39:32
Speaker 1: Man hippie he had he had twigs for brains. Yeah, yeah,
39:38
Speaker 1: the comment still sticks in your mind. Apparently it still sticks?
39:41
Speaker 3: Yeah?
39:44
Speaker 1: Why why does why does weed Man? Why does weed
39:47
Speaker 1: Man never win playing solitaire?
39:50
Speaker 3: Why?
39:51
Speaker 1: Apparently you're not always playing with a full deck that's
39:53
Speaker 1: from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. Thank you, good man, I
39:57
Speaker 1: met a couple of years back. Why does weed Man
40:00
Speaker 1: feel like he's from the British Royalty. Why, well, everyone
40:05
Speaker 1: refers to you as your highness. That's Michael Leprechaun. Which
40:12
Speaker 1: street does weed Man live on in the Miami area?
40:16
Speaker 1: Which street High Street? He lives on High Street? That's
40:19
Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaunt again big man's name jokes all right?
40:22
Speaker 1: Which distant relative of Ben Mallard do we often not
40:26
Speaker 1: often hear about wish? No strict dumbass? That's from just
40:31
Speaker 1: Mike in Providence. What's the difference between a poorly dressed
40:35
Speaker 1: man and a bicycle? Poorly dress man in a tricycle?
40:38
Speaker 1: What a tire? That's it? Attire? Thank you weed Man.
40:43
Speaker 1: There he goes, weed Man, hippie