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The Inner Critic vs Inner Coach Battle: Which Voice Are You Skating With? · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:02
  Hi there, skaters. Welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show, the figure skaters edition.
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  It's Coach Nadia here, and today we're going deep into something that affects
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  every single one of us on the ice or in life off the ice.
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  We're talking about the voice in your head, that little voice that either builds
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  you up or breaks you down.
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  The one that says, you've got this, you're on track, you're doing awesome,
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  or the one that says why you're even trying. Why are you here? You're terrible.
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  So whether you're working on an axle or heading to competition or maybe trying
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  to just handle the pressure of navigating school and being a figure skater,
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  maybe it's friendship, whatever it is that you're going through in life,
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  this episode is going to give you some powerful mindset shifts that will really
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  help you change how you show up for yourself.
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  This isn't just a skating tool. This is a life coaching strategy that helped
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  many of my clients, skaters or non-skaters.
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  Learning how to talk to yourself like a champion, not like a bully,
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  is something that every single one of you, your parents, your coaches, everybody needs.
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  So whether you're a skater, a student, a parent, a coach, a performer,
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  or just a human trying to grow, this one is one of the most important mindset
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  muscles that you can train.
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  So let's dive in. Every skater has two voices in their mind.
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  There's the inner critic and there's the inner coach. And one of them makes
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  you dot yourself and maybe makes you want to quit.
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  But on the other hand, the other one helps you rise again.
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  And here's the thing. The one you listen the most becomes the one that leads your skating.
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  I've been telling clients of mine for years that there's two voices in your
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  head and the one that you feed is the one that grows.
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  It's the same thing for you as a figure skater. So the inner critic is usually
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  quite loud, bossy, and kind of a drama queen. Let's be honest.
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  It loves pointing out your mistakes, maybe making you feel like you're an embarrassment
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  or reminding you of what you cannot do yet.
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  Does that ring a bell? And it never, ever shows up to celebrate your wins.
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  Think about that. Does that sound familiar? It's the voice that say things like,
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  oh my gosh, you're awful.
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  You're never going to land that jump. You look like an idiot.
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  She's so much better than you. Why are you even trying?
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  It's harsh. It's negative. And it's absolutely draining.
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  Now, here's the twist. That voice isn't trying to ruin your life.
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  It's actually trying to protect you. And I think I've mentioned that in a previous
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  podcast. is protection.
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  And I know it sounds weird, but that inner critic, it's your brain's old way
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  of saying, don't get hurt. Don't take risk.
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  Don't mess that up again. It believes that if it's hard on you, you'll try harder.
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  But all it does really, it makes you feel smaller, scared, and stuck.
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  Now, let's talk about that inner coach inside of you, because I know it's there,
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  your inner coach. This one's powerful, but a little quieter,
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  and you have to practice listening for it.
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  You've got to invite it in. You've got to let it in.
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  Your inner coach isn't about pretending that things are perfect all the time
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  or sugarcoating your mistakes.
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  It's about speaking truth with compassion.
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  And it's a little voice that sounds like this. Hey, that wasn't your best, but you're learning.
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  Or it's okay to mess up. Let's figure it out together.
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  Or you've done hard things before. You've got this. So your inner coach doesn't
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  ignore the work that needs to be done, but it believes that you're capable of doing it.
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  It holds you accountable without
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  tearing you apart, and it knows that pressure is part of your growth.
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  But pressure without kindness leads to burnout, not brilliance.
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  So who are you going to listen to? That's my question.
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  Let me ask you something and be honest. Which voice do you talk to yourself with the most?
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  Be honest. Is it the voice that shames you or the one that supports you?
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  And here's an even harder question for you. Would you ever talk to a teammate
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  or to a friend the way that you talk to yourself?
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  Hmm. Would you ever look at your friend and say, oh, you're embarrassing or
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  you're never going to be good enough?
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  Or why do you even bother?
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  Of course not. Because you care about them and because most importantly,
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  you probably believe in them. So why do you think it's okay to speak to yourself that way?
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  And I'm going to tell you something from a coach's perspective and a mom and
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  a mindset and life coach.
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  You skate every day with your own thoughts. I watch you out there.
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  I watch all of you practicing or in competition.
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  There's thoughts going on in your mind. You live with that brain of yours 24-7.
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  So what's going on in your head? Well, it's time to make it a kinder,
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  stronger, and a more encouraging place to be.
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  Does that sound good? So we're going to switch the script, guys.
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  We're going to get practical.
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  How do you actually start changing that inner voice in your head?
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  You're not going to just flip a switch and suddenly become the world's most
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  confident skater overnight. That's not going to happen.
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  It takes practice, mental repetition, just like physical ones that you do on
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  the ice. But here's how you can start.
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  First, I want you to notice the critic. that voice that says that you're not
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  enough, that you're not good. Catch it. Call it out.
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  Don't let it go unnoticed. You can even say it out loud.
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  Whoa, why am I being so mean to myself right now? The moment you notice it,
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  you interrupt its power.
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  Second, you're going to name it. So this sounds kind of silly,
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  but hear me out for a second.
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  Give your critic a name, okay? Call it Nagy Nancy, Thoughtful Dave,
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  Grumpy Gretchen, kind of label it, name it.
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  And when it starts yapping at you, say, all right, Gretchen,
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  thanks for the feedback. You can go now.
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  And I'm going to tell you, you'll be surprised how fast humor disarm negativity.
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  Third step is flip the thought. Okay, so this one takes work, but it's powerful.
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  Every time you think I'm terrible at this,
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  flip it to this is hard for me right now, but
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  i'm working on it instead of saying everyone's better
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  than me say i'm proud of who i am i'm getting better every day so you don't
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  have to lie to yourself but just tell the truth in a more empowering way and
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  finally use your coach voice it's within you guys when you're stuck ask yourself
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  what would my best coach say to me right now seriously.
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  Would we say, oh my gosh, you're terrible. Get off the ice. What are you doing?
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  No, we'd say, breathe, reset, try again. So borrow that voice, make it your own.
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  I've had very religious clients in the past and they would say, what would Jesus say?
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  Well, tell yourself that. What would Tony Robbins tell you if he was next to you?
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  So borrow that voice, make it your own and say it in your head until it becomes the way you think.
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  And I'm gonna tell you something. We all beat ourselves up, okay?
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  Even the most successful people, we all have those thoughts.
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  It's mental fitness. You've got to keep punching them away. It's like a boxing match.
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  Whether you are a beginner or you are heading to the Olympics, we all do it.
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  We all beat ourselves up. But the difference, it's not necessarily skills.
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  It's self-talk. Who's going to keep trying and smiling and stay strong and resilient?
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  And who's going to give up easily?
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  And listen, no medal, no perfect skate, no test level is ever worth destroying
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  your spirit and beating you down.
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  You didn't start skating to bully yourself, didn't you?
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  You started because you loved it. That's why you're on the ice all the time. Because you love it.
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  So don't let that inner critic steal the joy of skating.
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  You're allowed to fall. You will fall. If you don't fall, you're not trying hard enough.
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  But you are allowed to fall. You are allowed to learn. and you're allowed to
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  be proud of yourself even when it's ugly and messy.
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  And the more you practice being a kind coach to yourself, well,
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  the stronger, braver, and more confident you will become.
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  So here's what I want you to take with you today.
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  Your thoughts matter and how you speak to yourself matters.
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  And the voice inside your head, it's either your biggest cheerleader or your biggest obstacle.
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  And you get to choose which one to listen to. So choose the voice that lifts
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  you, choose the voice that makes you feel brave, and choose the voice that says,
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  you're not finished yet. You're just getting started.
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  And trust me, that voice will take you places your critic never could.
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  If this episode helped you, maybe you had an aha moment, please share it with another skater.
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  Someone who's been hard on themselves, maybe.
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  Someone who needs a reminder that they're not alone in this.
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  And if you're ready to work on your mindset in bigger ways, check out my workbook.
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  It's coming out in the next couple of weeks. Or join me in one of my skating
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  mindset program where I do one-on-one coaching.
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  I created these tools to help you not only skate better, but think better.
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  Until next time, be the coach you wish you had in your head.
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  You deserve it. Have a good one.