Latest / Ridiculous History / CLASSIC: The Capture of Guam Was Bloodless and Quick, All Due to a Misunderstanding

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CLASSIC: The Capture of Guam Was Bloodless and Quick, All Due to a Misunderstanding · Ridiculous History

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  Speaker 1: Ridiculous historians. We have a classic for you about a
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  Speaker 1: place that neither of us have visited. A little place
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  Speaker 1: called Guam, technically part of the US mm.
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  Speaker 2: Hmm, yeah, about fifteen hundred miles to the east of
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  Speaker 2: the Philippines in Micronesia. A tiny place with a tiny population, idyllic,
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  Speaker 2: beautiful coastlines, but a particularly fraud and ridiculous history.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. For the better part of four centuries. This was
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  Speaker 1: a colonial possession of Spain. How did it become a
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  Speaker 1: US territory? Well, everything changed in eighteen ninety eight, not
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  Speaker 1: really on purpose.
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  Speaker 2: Unless you be concerned that this is going to be
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  Speaker 2: a blood and guts kind of episode, you need not worry.
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  Speaker 2: This is the story of the bloodless and quick capture
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  Speaker 2: of Guam.
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  Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome to the show,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Friends and neighbors, Thanks for dropping by. Join us on
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  Speaker 1: a journey. We are based in Atlanta, Georgia, here in
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  Speaker 1: the United States, but today our adventures take us to
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  Speaker 1: the northwestern Pacific Ocean, to a place that was formerly
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  Speaker 1: known as the territory of Guam.
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  Speaker 2: Hi.
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  Speaker 1: I'm ben Hi, my name is no.
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  Speaker 2: So we're going on a bit of a tropical vaca.
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  Speaker 1: Today we are and I have wanted to travel to
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  Speaker 1: this area of the Pacific Ocean for such a very
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  Speaker 1: very long time. Our longtime friend of the show and
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: co worker, Scott Benjamin is actually a very well traveled man.
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  Speaker 1: He's hit this. No, he's been to Bora Bora.
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  Speaker 2: I know, man, I didn't even think. I thought that
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  Speaker 2: was like an imaginary land. And then you've come to
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  Speaker 2: find out Scott Benjamin, or as I like to call him,
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  Speaker 2: F Scott Benjamin, has been there.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, f Scott Benjamin. So today we're going a
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  Speaker 1: true tale that still feels as surreal as a story
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  Speaker 1: by Kurt Vonnegut or something he does.
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  Speaker 2: That's a really good connection, Ben because it's got all
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  Speaker 2: of the pathos and set up for a grand you know,
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  Speaker 2: battle of epic proportions, a naval battle, you know, at
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  Speaker 2: sea with cannons and all that good stuff that goes
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  Speaker 2: along with it. But there's a twist, and then the
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  Speaker 2: twist is sort of a very Vonnegutian que. Yeah, and
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  Speaker 2: that you know, not much happens. I don't think that's fair.
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  Speaker 2: I don't mean to pin like to say nothing happens
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  Speaker 2: in Vonnagut books. I just mean it subverts what's your
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  Speaker 2: expectations a little bit. Let's say that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels in a very relieving way, somewhat anti climactic.
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  Speaker 1: And we're of course not going on this journey alone, folks.
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  Speaker 1: We're bringing along, in our opinion, one of the best
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  Speaker 1: parts of this show, super producer Casey Pegrum.
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  Speaker 2: May he be our spirit guide on this journey today, Yes.
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  Speaker 1: And hopefully our navigator as well, because I don't remember
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  Speaker 1: if we packed the GPS.
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  Speaker 2: I am garbage with directions.
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  Speaker 1: As you know, well, we already know where we're going,
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  Speaker 1: and let's travel there through the magic of podcasting. But
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  Speaker 1: first we have to get to Guam by way of Cuba,
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  Speaker 1: because to paint the scene, we need to talk about
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  Speaker 1: something called the Spanish American War.
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  Speaker 2: The Spanish American War declared on April twenty fifth of
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  Speaker 2: eighteen ninety eight. You see, the US was doing a
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  Speaker 2: lot of business with Cuba.
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  Speaker 1: And Cuba wanted to become independent from Spain, which was
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  Speaker 1: controlling it at the time.
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  Speaker 2: It's very true, and there were rebels. There was an
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  Speaker 2: uprising in Cuba and they wanted to separate themselves from
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  Speaker 2: Spanish rule, and the US had some pretty significant interests
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  Speaker 2: in helping them accomplish this because they were doing trade
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  Speaker 2: upwards of one hundred million dollars a year with Cuba.
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  Speaker 2: One of those goods, the primary good in this equation
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  Speaker 2: being sugar.
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  Speaker 1: And that's in eighteen ninety five terms. Yeah, so it's
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  Speaker 1: a huge amount of money. Shall we inflation calculator it,
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  Speaker 1: my friend? Yes, this is an appropriate enough amount of
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  Speaker 1: money that we may want a drum roll casey one
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  Speaker 1: hundred million dollars in eighteen ninety five is equivalent to
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  Speaker 1: two point seven five billion dollars as of twenty seventeen.
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  Speaker 2: That's like an economy of scale. It's massive. There's really
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  Speaker 2: no there's really no way someone in the US could
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  Speaker 2: argue against protecting this valuable trade. And the US public
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  Speaker 2: was behind this as well. They were supporting American intervention
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  Speaker 2: because people were checking out the newspapers of note at
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  Speaker 2: the time, the yellow papers right of the like the
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: William Randolph Hurst era of the yellow journalism, where it
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  Speaker 2: was kind of this alarmist or maybe not alarmist, but
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  Speaker 2: more sensationalized coverage.
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  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, absolutely sensationalized by muck rakers. By people with
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  Speaker 1: a strategic acts of grind. Spain was taking incredibly brutal
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  Speaker 1: measures to repress the rebellion, and the US public learned
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  Speaker 1: about this through graphic depictions in these newspapers, and this
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  Speaker 1: caused American sympathy for the Cuban rebels to rise. As
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  Speaker 1: we know, the best way to get a war going
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  Speaker 1: is not to say it's in our economic interest, it's
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  Speaker 1: to say we are doing a noble.
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  Speaker 2: Thing humanitarian reasons. Have you heard of this guy, General Weyler,
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  Speaker 2: the butcher. Lay it on me, this is nuts. I
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  Speaker 2: did not know this was a thing. But this gentleman
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  Speaker 2: was sent to deal with by Spain, to deal with
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  Speaker 2: the Cuban rebels, and he actually rounded them up and
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  Speaker 2: put them in concentration camps. They weren't, you know, gassed
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  Speaker 2: like the Jews were during the Nazi regime, but they
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  Speaker 2: were left in horribly unsanitary conditions to starve and just
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  Speaker 2: wither away. And so you know that was happening, and
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  Speaker 2: this was being reported, and so there was strong sentiment
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  Speaker 2: for the humanitarian aid angle there.
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  Speaker 1: And tensions are rising. Tensions are escalating at this point,
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  Speaker 1: let's say around the early part of the year right.
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  Speaker 1: The American public is largely behind or supportive of an intervention,
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  Speaker 1: but there are people still on the fence, and that
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  Speaker 1: all changes in less than a few days.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. In fact, with the permission of the Spanish government,
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  Speaker 2: President McKinley ordered a battleship, the USS Maine, to hang
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  Speaker 2: out in the Havana Harbor to kind of safeguard American
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  Speaker 2: interests during this time of upheaval in Cuba. And on
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  Speaker 2: February fifteenth in the evening, an explosion sank that ship,
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  Speaker 2: killing two hundred and sixty four sailors and two officers.
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  Speaker 2: And this was a problem. This was bad what they
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  Speaker 2: call bad optics, ben right.
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  Speaker 1: So the means destruction did not immediately launch a war
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  Speaker 1: with Spain, but it pretty much guaranteed that there would
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  Speaker 1: not be an easy, peaceful resolution to this conflict.
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  Speaker 2: It's like a Pearl Harbor kind of moment, you know.
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  Speaker 2: I mean it's not quite as extreme, obviously, because there
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  Speaker 2: was no direct proof, but it is that powder keg
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  Speaker 2: moment where the public really sees, oh there's a threat here.
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  Speaker 2: They got our guys, right, and those yellow journalists we
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  Speaker 2: talked about really pushed that line, didn't They like saying, oh,
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  Speaker 2: they blamed Spain, even though there wasn't any proof that
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  Speaker 2: that was actually what happened, But it seems likely that
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  Speaker 2: that's what happened.
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  Speaker 1: It was one of the biggest political, if not the
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  Speaker 1: biggest political issues of that year. Let's fast forward a
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  Speaker 1: couple of months. Spain realizes that the water is slowly boiling,
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  Speaker 1: the flames arising, and they attempt to quell things. They
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  Speaker 1: announced an armistice on April ninth of that year, and
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  Speaker 1: they speed up a program to grant Cuba limited autonomy,
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  Speaker 1: limited powers of government. So this would mean that Cuba
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  Speaker 1: is still a part of the larger Spanish Empire, but
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  Speaker 1: they have some latitude and agency with local decisions.
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  Speaker 2: And I'd read in a few places that there was
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  Speaker 2: a sentiment that they weren't really that serious about doing
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  Speaker 2: those things that they said that was all sort of
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  Speaker 2: for show.
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  Speaker 1: It's either disingenuous or it's too little, too late, because
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  Speaker 1: very shortly afterwards, the US Congress issued resolutions declaring Cuba's
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  Speaker 1: right to full independence, demanding the withdrawal of all of
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  Speaker 1: Spain's armed forces, and authorizing then President William McKinley to
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  Speaker 1: use force to secure the withdrawal of the Spanish forces,
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  Speaker 1: and at the same time to make sure that everyone
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  Speaker 1: knows they're the good guys. I guess in this situation,
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  Speaker 1: the US also says, we're not going to annex Cuba.
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  Speaker 1: We want it to be its own thing. We're sticking
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  Speaker 1: up for you. And you know, they gave the British
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  Speaker 1: two finger salute to Spain.
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  Speaker 2: This is Congress doing this right, Yeah, and I think
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  Speaker 2: the President had requested sort of a lighter version of that,
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  Speaker 2: and then Congress sort of doubled down and said, Nah,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to really go, you know, ham on this.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, they went hard on the paint for sure. And Spain,
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  Speaker 1: in a game of geopolitical double dare, said oh, you
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  Speaker 1: know what you're gonna dare us to get out? Well,
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  Speaker 1: double dare, we're declaring war on the US on April
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  Speaker 1: twenty fourth, And on the twenty fifth the next day
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  Speaker 1: the US said, oh, yeah, well you too, buddy. You
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  Speaker 1: can't declare war on us, We're declaring war on you.
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  Speaker 2: It's super confusing because the way it's written, the way
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  Speaker 2: I've seen the chronology of this is that they had
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  Speaker 2: to retroactively backdate it to April twenty first, which I
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  Speaker 2: believe was when the US established a military blockade of
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  Speaker 2: Cuba to protect their interests more or less again, and
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  Speaker 2: that's not like the official reason. Again they're going with
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  Speaker 2: this humanitarian thing. Oh oh, the poor Cuban people. You know,
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  Speaker 2: the Spanish are just mistreating them so badly, you know,
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  Speaker 2: because America, you know, we're all about taking care of people, right,
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  Speaker 2: and that's what we do.
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  Speaker 1: And maybe we released the American leaders at the time,
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  Speaker 1: maybe they really did believe that they were doing a noble,
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  Speaker 1: altruistic thing.
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  Speaker 2: I know, I'm being flipped, but it's just it's hard
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  Speaker 2: to It's hard, man, it's hard to have that kind
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  Speaker 2: of faith in the goodness of our leaders.
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  Speaker 1: It would be somewhat anomalous. And it was not going
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  Speaker 1: to be a fair fight because Spain was not prepared
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  Speaker 1: in naval or military terms to have a war in
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  Speaker 1: a foreign part of the planet with the US, who
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  Speaker 1: is not you know, nothing to sneeze at militarily even
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  Speaker 1: back then.
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  Speaker 2: And I mean we're talking Spain in general, not to
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  Speaker 2: mention our little whipper snapper buddies there in guam Ah.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, So we've set this stage and the Spanish American
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  Speaker 1: War quickly expands beyond the bounds of Cuba and the
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  Speaker 1: surrounding waters. One of the huge theaters for the Spanish
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  Speaker 1: American War was going to be the Pacific Ocean, specifically
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  Speaker 1: the Philippines. The Philippines at the time were under Spanish
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  Speaker 1: control and had been for hundreds of years. The US
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  Speaker 1: again was going to clean up this massive injustice for
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  Speaker 1: everyone one who can't see I can't see us in
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  Speaker 1: the studios. I just did a hard arm shake.
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  Speaker 2: Kind of an awe shucks. Yeah, you know, hey, there
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  Speaker 2: we go, like you might have done at Opryland when
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  Speaker 2: you were a boy.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, man, you're never gonna let me live that, dad?
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  Speaker 2: Why should I? Man, it's a delight.
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  Speaker 1: But speaking of delights, when we consider the Pacific theater
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  Speaker 1: at the time, or just when considered the geography of
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  Speaker 1: the Pacific, we have to realize these folks did not
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  Speaker 1: have very fast means of communication, and a lot of
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  Speaker 1: these islands and archipelagos were so isolated that they could
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  Speaker 1: learn about events and the rest of the world months after,
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  Speaker 1: maybe even more than a year. And so this is
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  Speaker 1: when we this is when we come to a captain,
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  Speaker 1: a captain named Glass.
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  Speaker 2: Captain Glass, which is a cool name, very cool name.
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  Speaker 1: And and Noel, what is what does Captain Glass do
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  Speaker 1: on his way to the Philippines.
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  Speaker 2: Well, Captain Glass actually received sealed orders and they went
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  Speaker 2: a little bit like this, In fact, exactly like this,
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  Speaker 2: dear sir. Actually they didn't say dear. They wouldn't have
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  Speaker 2: been that polite in the military, just says sir, changes
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  Speaker 2: the whole tone, didn't it. Upon receipt of this order,
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  Speaker 2: which is forwarded by the steamship City of Peaking, which
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  Speaker 2: was the name of the ship, to you at Honolulu
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  Speaker 2: a place, you will proceed with the Charleston and the
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  Speaker 2: City of Peaking in company to Manila, Philippine Islands on
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  Speaker 2: your way. And here's the important part. You are hereby
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  Speaker 2: directed to stop at the Spanish island of Guam. You
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  Speaker 2: will use such force as may be necessary to capture
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  Speaker 2: the Port of Guam, making prisoners of the governor and
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  Speaker 2: other officials, and any armed force that may be there.
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  Speaker 2: You will destroy any fortification on set island and any
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  Speaker 2: Spanish naval vessels that may be there or in the
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  Speaker 2: immediate vicinity. And then it goes on to say this
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  Speaker 2: will probably only take you two days because they definitely
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  Speaker 2: don't know who we're coming.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, that's we cannot emphasize that enough, but we
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  Speaker 1: will attempt to through repetition. They were definitely not prepared
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  Speaker 1: on the island of Guam the Spanish governing structure. So
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  Speaker 1: Guam had their first contact with the Spanish Empire when
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  Speaker 1: a fellow named Ferdinand Magellan, the famous Portuguese explorer, landed
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  Speaker 1: there on March sixth, fifteen twenty one. And in the
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  Speaker 1: intervening centuries, Spain also controlled Guam right as well as
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  Speaker 1: you know, as well as the Philippines. But Guam was
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  Speaker 1: on the edge of the Empire. For lack of a
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  Speaker 1: better phrase, it wasn't and it still is not a
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  Speaker 1: very large place geographically speaking, and it also wasn't at
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  Speaker 1: the heart of a lot of conflict or a ton
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  Speaker 1: of trade exactly.
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  Speaker 2: And in fact, at the time, the Guam infantry consisted
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  Speaker 2: of only fifty five soldiers and two, that's two lieutenants.
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  Speaker 2: So Glass has these orders to capture Guam. He is
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  Speaker 2: assured that it is going to be super easy because
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: they're so unprepared. Oh yeah, I mean they the way
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  Speaker 2: the matter of fact nature of that order, the way
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  Speaker 2: it's written it's just like this is gonna be cake.
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  Speaker 1: It's it's on the same level tonally as hey, will
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  Speaker 1: you pick up some milk? Un your way, oh way way?
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  Speaker 1: Literally yes. And so the Charleston enters Agana Bay on
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  Speaker 1: the twentieth of June, and they were prepared for a
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  Speaker 1: cannonade from Fort Santiago, the Spanish fort there. And so
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  Speaker 1: Captain Glass got further into the harbor and he began
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  Speaker 1: bombarding Fort Santa Cruz, but received no response because you see, folks,
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  Speaker 1: the fort had long been abandoned, right.
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  Speaker 2: No one cared, no one, no one knew, no one
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  Speaker 2: was looking except people were looking. And this is where
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  Speaker 2: I kind of want to shift the perspective here to
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  Speaker 2: I think our mutual favorite character in this story a
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: guy by the name of Francisco Porto Sash.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, or you could you could call him Frank if
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: you want to be familiar exactly.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: He has We have an original source from a letter
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  Speaker 1: that he writes recounting his experience. He was a naturalized
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  Speaker 1: citizen in the US and on the morning of the
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  Speaker 1: twenty second of June in eighteen ninety eight, his brother
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  Speaker 1: Don Jose woke him up and said you gotta come
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  Speaker 1: see this.
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  Speaker 2: You gotta come check this out. And just a little backstory,
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, why was this guy on Guam? What was
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: he doing? It looks like he had had a career
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  Speaker 2: as kind of like as a whaler. He seemed like
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: a real man about town, had done some interesting stuff
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: and like just wanted to see the world. But he
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: was from Chicago.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a US citizen. He did have whaling background,
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  Speaker 1: and Guam he was pretty influential because he ran a general.
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  Speaker 2: Store, a general store, and he was apparently the only
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: American on the island, which probably earned him some street cred.
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  Speaker 2: I guess he seems like he was beloved and had
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: support from the community. He wasn't like some kind of outcasts.
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  Speaker 1: So in his letter the way he recounts it, he
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: had maybe heard of something about a conflict between Spain
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: and the US. In fact, his brother is the one
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: who hipped him to it. But his brother was a
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: little wishy washy about it too. His brother, also, by
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: the way, was just visiting from Europe. He had come
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: there by way of the Philippines and was just hanging out.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: So I think it's probably pretty accurate when you see
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: this guy, Francisco being described as the only American naturalized
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: American citizen on the island who lived there. So his
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: brother says, come to the beach and see those ships
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: there and where they come from. And Frank, as I'm
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: gonna call him, started with him. Around daylight they went
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: to they went to the shore close enough to look
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: through a pair of glasses which probably binoculars, and he
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: recognized two of the steamships, China and Australia, and he
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: wasn't sure what the other one was. But at this
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  Speaker 1: point his brother said.
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  Speaker 2: He said, do not say anything, as I think war
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  Speaker 2: is declared between the United States and Spain. If so,
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  Speaker 2: I will go on board and take with me the
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  Speaker 2: Spanish officers and one of your boats, and you can
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: go on your whale boat afterwards. Because that's another thing
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: that's important about the story. Frank, you see had liqued
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: like a mini fleet of ships, and they call them lighters, Yeah,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: which were these specialized boats that you would use to
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: transport goods to bigger.
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  Speaker 1: Ships, right that couldn't get close enough to shore or
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: maybe didn't have a port they could pull in.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, So how do you think the brother knew the
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: war thing, though it seems like they were not hip
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: to this on them. Was he just kind of conjecturing.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Because he had traveled from Europe.
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  Speaker 2: Ah, he didn't think to mention that earlier.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: You know, it's a laid back, laid back guy. They're
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: painting here. But as they arrive, they see the Charleston
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: begin to shell this fort, as we had mentioned, and
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: there's no response because as Frank and everybody else on
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: the island knows, that fort has been abandoned for years,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: and they believe the ship the Man of War is
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: saluting the fort of Santa Cruz, and so on the
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: island side they say, okay, well, let's get somebody together,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: let's get the artillery together, and we'll send a salute too.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: And this sounds weird for a lot of people, the
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: idea of a salute. What is that? Why are you
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: are you just firing a gun to say hello to people?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, there's the whole twenty one gun salute. It
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: always strikes me as queer. I mean, anytime people shoot
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: guns in a celebratory manner, that always is a little
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: strange to me.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Right, So we can give you a little bit of
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: background on what a salute actually is and why it exists.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: This comes to us through the official blog of the
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: US Navy named Navy Live, and Tim comer Ford is
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: writing about the history of the salute in Salutations with
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: a Bang, the Military Salute. The idea here, according to him,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: is that the origins of this practice run clear, but
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: we have some good estimates about this, and they date
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: back to some ancient warfare. It's intended to show deference
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: on the part of the person saluting to the person
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: being saluted. And it's also supposed to indicate that the
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: person or the people who are saluting are unarmed or
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: somehow defenseless, because in the old days of raising your
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: hand a salute, you were showing that you didn't have
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: a sword, didn't have like a.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: But Ben, they're saluting with live ammunition.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: They cann't. Yeah, yeah, how does this work? Great question.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: The cannons, once you fire them in a salute, they
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: take a while to reload, and so the idea is
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: in a salute, the idea is they're shooting not to
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: not to hit anyone, yeah, but to say like okay, boom,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: there you go. Now you know, we're not carrying loaded
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: cannons but this was clearly a mistake on the islander
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: side because they were trying to shell the fort.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: I mean that would have interpreted it as a piss
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: poor salute. I'm like, come on, you're supposed to like
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: aim away from us or up in the air or something.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: But no, they were definitely trying to shell that fort.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: But that misunderstanding did happen, and so a sort of
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: envoy was gathered to row out to the ship the
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: man o war yeah this floating murder machine, uh huh
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: and say hello.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah almost. I kept picturing, you know, the scenes
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: where they send a landing party in star Trek or something. Thing.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: So Frank arrives, he gets on the ship and they
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: find out that he is an American citizen.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: And how's he ended up going along? Like he's already
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: there watching and he has like because I know there
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: was some actual officials that went as well, because there
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: was the commander of the Guam Navy who is a
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: guy named Don Pedro Duerte, and he is the one
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: who said, oh, they're saluting us, we should go to
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: dang it. We don't have we're all we're fresh out
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: of gunpowder, so we better go you know, be polite.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Everybody, get your own guns if you have them, right,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and we'll try to organize this. Yeah, they were they
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: were trying to be cool. They thought they were showing
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: customary deference or the rules of engagement. And to paint
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: the picture here, imagine a really small town where not
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: a lot of big stuff happens. Everybody in town is
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: who has heard about this is coming out to check
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: out the scene. They want to see what happens. So
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: this is not like a situation where there would be
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: a group of battle hardened veterans preparing to die.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Oh I know.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: This is someone saying like, oh, hey, Tim, did you
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: hear there are big ships out there, and the other
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: guy going, oh no, way, Like yeah, they said we
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: got to bring our guns to salute them. He's like,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, all right.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Gotta say, though, this brother, this don Jose Porto sash
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: seems like a real piece of work. I mean, he is,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: you know, hasn't clued anyone in to the fact that
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: there may be war going on. I think he's trying
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: to play it like he's trying to, you know, save
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: his own butt, because he is the one who assembles
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: this group of officials, military officials, which so the party
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: that went out there to meet the boat were Frank,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: his brother, Lieutenant commander of the Navy and captain of
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: the port, Don Francisco Gutierrez, a naval surgeon, Don Jose Romero,
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Captain Pedro Duade and du Car who was part of
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: the Marine Corps, and also Don Jose Sixto, who is
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: the civil paymaster. And they all are kind of roped
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: into doing this by the brother who still doesn't clue
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: them into the fact that this could be a problem.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Well, he told his brother. He was like, Frank, be cool,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: but I think there's a war going on.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: So what does strike me? As he's looking out for
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: him and his brother's best interest and not the native people,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: true of the land.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: True important point. Here's where it becomes, for a moment
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: as casual as a sitcom. So Frank and the rest
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: of the party are there and then they get on
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: board to Charleston and he's selling across the bow in
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: his own boat, and then he hears someone yell at him, Frank.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Come on board, hey buddy, and he lay, yeah, get
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: to see you.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Eddie looks up and it's a guy named Captain Hellett,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: who he knew a number of years before as a
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: whaling captain in.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: His whaling days. And he's actually on a whaling ship
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: that was the one that he was flying the flag with.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so he he gets on board and he
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: recognizes somebody else. He sees a guy who used to
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: be a reporter for the Chronicle in San Francisco. The
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: guy walks up and he shakes his hands and he's like, man,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to see you here in Guam. And then
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: someone comes up and says, why are you flying that
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: American flag?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Dude? Frank clearly got around. Man, what are the chances?
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: This is very strange?
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is really weird.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So this this tough customer walks up in his
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: officer's dress, military dress and says, what right have you
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: to fly this American flag from thou ship? Thy ship?
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: That's how they spoke.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Any like grins Frank grins and you know, shrugs a
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: little and yeah, and says, well, I guess I have
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: the right to have that flag up, for if I
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: did not have the right, I would not have it there.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Oh snack whoa, okay, being smart with me?
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Boy, right, it's pretty much. Okay, I do what I want.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: And the guy says, can you prove you're right?
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he sounds like a character from like Mad Max
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Beyond Thunderdome.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Right, And he says, yes, sir, and he pulls out
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: his naturalization papers as a citizen of the US, and
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: the guy looks them over and his tone completely changes. Yeah.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: At that point, they're just buzzom buddies. He says, okay, Chicago,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: you're from Chicago, Illinois, United States, eighteen eighty eight, twenty
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: second of October. This is his birthday, Cook County, State
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: of Illinois, is what he says. And at that point
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: he says, follow me, chum.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go meet the captain. And so they go
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: to meet the captain, who is thrilled to meet Frank.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: This captain Glass and the officer hands Glass Frank's papers
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: and then Glass looks him over and says, I'm glad
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: to meet you. And then he says, look, your brother
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Joe told me that you had some lighters and some boats,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: and could you let me have some of those just
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: to get some coal on the steamer. I'll, i'll, I'll
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: pay you. And this guy, Frank says, you know, what
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: you don't have to pay me. I'm the only US
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: citizen on the island, and it's my duty to give
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: all aid i can because apparently we're in a war.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: It's true, it's true, and you know, so that happens.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: He gives him. He says he can use his boats.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Frank goes back to his family. They have a nice meal,
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: and at that point the letter is delivered to Frank's
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: home from the governor. A man by the name of
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Juan Marina signed El Gobernador this letter, and it says,
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: translation is, if you offer any assistance to the American
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: men of war, you will be executed tomorrow morning at
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: the beach. And you know, Frank's like, yeah, right to
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: big words El Gobernador.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: So he reads the note and he's pretty much giggling
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: at it.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: He's like, but his wife, you know, she thinks it's
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: a serious business. But Frank knows something that she does
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: not know. Right.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: So he he said to his wife, who is beside
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: herself with fear and sorrow, he says, don't worry, cheer up.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: If anything comes the worst, I'll have ships to take
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: care of you and the kids. And he shows the
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: note to his brother, and he said, look, I already
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: promised Captain Glass the lighters. I'm going to send him anyway.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: And Jose said, hey, watch out man. So then he
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: went to the Charleston again. After lunch, he showed the
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: letter to Captain Glass, and Captain Glass.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Said, I got you, I got you.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he said, look, I'm going to have the island
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: delivered before daylight. What they mean when they say island
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: delivered is it's going to officially become something under the
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: control of the United States.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Yep. And the way that all went down, Let's give
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: you the quick and dirty, he said, an envoy to
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: meet with the governor, the man who very sinisterly threatened
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: the life of our of our buddy Frank. So as promised,
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Glass decides he's ready to set this in motion. So
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: the next day, June twenty first, he sends an envoy,
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: a guy by the name of Lieutenant William Brown Streither
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Brown Browner, Browner's Ruther.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: He also says that he's not sure if he's spelling
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: the neighbors.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: In the letter. That's right, yeah, very true, And I'm
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: not sure I'm saying it right. But that's I'm gonna
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna commit to that, and they send a letter
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: by way of the governor's people to deliver to him saying,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: come on the ship, come hang with us, let's chat
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: on our turf on the ship, to which the governor
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: very civilly, at least the language, and his response declines
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: because he says it is against Spanish law to board
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: a foreign vessel.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: And at the same time, this is still the twenty
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: third of June. At the same time, Frank has probably
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: my favorite conversation in this story. He goes back on
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: board the Charles and he's talking to Captain Class and
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Glass says, hey, Frank, you're the only US citizen on
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: the island. We got to go, so could you take
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: care of the island.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because we're gonna have this stitched up real quick like,
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: because after the governor refused, he said, come hang with
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: me on the shore. Right, that's that's that's the best
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna do. So brownschreither, No, it's Browner, Browner's ryther,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it like that. He goes with a
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: few buddies and he meets up with the governor and
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: he lets him know that hey, we've got a pretty
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: formidable gunship, you know, trained on your island, and we're
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: gonna give you thirty minutes to deliberate with your people,
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: and if you, you know, do not surrender, we're going
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: to shell you and take all you prisoner anyway, to which.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: The governor replies, all right.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Give me a minute.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Give me a minute.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: He goes and confers, returns with a sealed envelope. Mm hmm.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: And what's in the sealed envelope?
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Well, the thing that's funny is he hands it to
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Brown's Ruther. Browner's Ruther never gonna get it right. It's fine,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: and it's addressed to glass. But our boy, mister B
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: opens it himself, to which the governor responds, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: That's not for you, man, that's not diplomacy. Slow your role,
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: to which mister B responds, I represent him here. Back off.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so long story short, maybe a little too late,
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: but this far story short. The Spanish officials are taken
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: into custody and they go aboard the boat and they're
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: bound for the Philippines.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all very civil too, because they're like, whoa, man,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: I don't have my toothbrush, I all got out of
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: the clothes on my back. And the Americans are like, yo,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: it's cool. We'll let you write to your family. We'll
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: let them bring you a knapsack, you know, an overnight bag,
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: and you'll you'll be comfortable, you'll be taken care of
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: and and all we need you to do is get
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: all of your troops to line up and come aboard
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: our ship to be our prisoners. And you know what,
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: That's exactly how it went down.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not a not a violent death at.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: All, nary a drop of blood was spilt, right.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Just an awkward salute that left both both sides of
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: the conflict feeling as lame as you know, someone who
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: had a high five that wasn't returned, if that's ever
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: happened to you, and you just hold your hand up.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: But the story isn't over. It does get a little
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: bit fuzzy here because the Charleston and co. Set off
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: for the Philippines, and General Glass says, hey, Frank, you're
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: in charge because you're literally the only US citizen here yep,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: to which Frank says, tight.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: I'll figure, yeah, make it work.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I'll make it happen. And the problem is that he
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: is not given any written appointment from Commander Glass, and
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: they're just meant to.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Be temporary, right, Like that's just sort of like in
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: the interim, it's like hold the spot while we fanned
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: things out.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so this makes him the first American governor of
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: the island. But there's another character here, and it's not
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: a it's not a cut and dried story. The man
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: we mentioned earlier, jose six Stow, the paymaster.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, the paymaster. It's always I knew there was a twist.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the paymaster still has a lot of control and
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: he is with the former Spanish government. And now these
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: two men are in kind of an informal fight for
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: power and salemate.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: I missed this part entirely. Go on.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Well, so after Glass leaves and after Frank becomes the governor,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: six Stow refuses to surrender the island's treasury to Frank,
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: and there are no American sailors or marines. There's nothing
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: supporting his claim to power.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Why wasn't he arrested along with all the other officials.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: I guess he's just a just a uh a nimble guy.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he he just.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Said, I'm going to keep paying any Spanish bureaucrats. I'm
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: going to pay members of the militia. And this consolidates
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: his influence over the island. Sounds and he was bad
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: with money. Because he bankrupts the treasury, law and order
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: starts to break down. Uh. The native residents of Guam
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: and Filipinos that are living on the island began fighting
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: their riots. And for his part, Frank is doing his
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: best because he says, look, we need to make some
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: improvements on the island, specifically this road that was just
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: in piss poor shape. And Sixto is like, wait, I
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: control the money and you shandn't have a pity?
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Was he like the troll that guarded the bridge a
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: little less? Yeah? Yeah, yes, what this does? This sound
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: like a real a real ship show.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: There we go, Hey, that's that's son of a fish.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Son of a fish in a ship show. We are
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: building this vocabulary pretty well.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: And the mythology. But so let you know, things happen.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: It gets it. It's obviously anytime you occupy a territory,
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: it's going to be a little rough for a little while.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: But ultimately, after the war ended with the Treaty of Paris,
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: that was signed. Guam and the Philippines were purchased from
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: Spain for a relatively paltry twenty million dollars, and these
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: lands were finalized as US territories when the US Senate
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: ratified the treaty in eighteen ninety nine, February sixth, to
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: be precise.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: So this goes, this goes pretty quickly, right. It seems
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: like from eighteen ninety five the Guam landing to the
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Treaty of Paris, we're only looking at a few years.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: But this had a massive effect on the US's geopolitical
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: position and a pretty nasty effect on Spain because Spain
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: began to focus inward, and the US emerged from this
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: war as a maybe not a superpower, but a legitimate
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: world power with possessions half a world away and a
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: new stake in international politics.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Like kind of like an empire or something.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: He yes, exactly, kind of like an empire. But luckily
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: no one and Guam was injured in that takeover.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: That is cool, because there is actually a conspiracy theory.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Let's just drop this here at the end, that in fact,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: the US did not get involved in the Spanish American
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: War for these humanitarian reasons. We discussed earlier. Yeah, it
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: was reasons of pure greed and to extend their world
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: domination outward. And you know they ultimately succeeded in that,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: at least in a couple of small ways.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Say it ain't so ah, you know it's a theory. Yes,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: that is one of several theories. But you know what's
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: not a theory, the idea that we hope you enjoyed
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: this show. That's a clunky segue.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: No, no, man, you got from A to B and
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: that's all it segue needs to accomplish. And here we
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: are at B being the end of the show.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like we went circuitously through G
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: for guam.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Oh you are that's a fire, my friend.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: So thank you, as always so much for checking out
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: today's episode. We want to think, of course, super producer
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: Kasey Pegram, who has not to our knowledge, ever invaded
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: a Pacific nation.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: It's true. No, Casey is a peaceful man, and he's
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: got a peaceful plan.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Yes. And we'd also like to think, of course, Christopher Hasiotis,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Alex Williams yep, the Ridiculous History Crew yep.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: And you everybody, friends, neighbors.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: All of you countryman, you've already lent.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Them to us, and we for that we will be
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: forever grateful.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, and if you would like to continue adventuring with
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: us throughout some of the strangest, silliest, and most ridiculous
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: stories in human history, then join us on Twitter, Instagram,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: or Facebook. You can also find our community page, Ridiculous
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Historians if you if you're wondering why sometimes Nolan and
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: I have mentioned karaoke or oper Land, the answers you
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: seek can be found there.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: And guess what, we finally made that Pinterest page we've
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: been talking about all these years. That's not true kidding, Okay,
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: We're never never gonna do It's not gonna happen. It's
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: not ever never gonna do that ever. But man, you guys,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: thanks for joining us, and we hope you'll join us
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: for the next episode, wherein we talk about how Vermont
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: was in fact a pretty radical place back in the day.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: I don't mean radical like in the skater parlance. I
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: mean radicals, and they had some pretty big ideas about
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: liberty and they in fact were their own independent republic.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Who knew? And this story doesn't end there. What the
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: heck are we talking about tune in and find out.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: See ya. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.