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When You're Tired of Trying to Figure It Out: Finding Rest After Christian Relationship Disappointment · Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One,

• 0:00
  Have you ever gotten tired of just trying to figure it all out?
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  Not just sad, not angry, not necessarily even just confused,
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  just tired, just, I guess, exhausted?
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  Tired of replaying conversations, tired of thinking about what you should have said,
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  tired of wondering what did they mean tired of wondering what did god mean,
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  tired of asking why did this happen what did i miss what was the point was there
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  something i should have done differently.
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  Just tired of it all maybe you've gone over the story so many times that you
• 0:56
  know exactly where certain conversations happened.
• 1:00
  You maybe remember the details, the moments, and somehow you're still trying to solve it.
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  But today, I want to invite you to do something different.
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  Today, I want you to rest.
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  Not because everything has been figured out, no, but because you don't have
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  to figure out everything today.
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  Have you ever believed God showed you your future spouse only for the relationship
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  to end or never even begin?
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  You are not alone. Welcome to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment,
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  a space for honest conversations about Christian dating, heartbreak, and healing.
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  If you've ever said, I thought God told me they were the one, this podcast is for you.
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  Here, we process the pain, rebuild the trust in God, and rediscover hope,
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  one honest conversation at a time.
• 2:16
  Welcome back to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment. If you've been following along,
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  we've been having some pretty difficult conversations.
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  We've spoken about anger towards God.
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  We've talked about the fear of listening to God again.
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  And today is a bit different. It is actually intentionally different.
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  This episode isn't going to ask you to analyze your relationship or process too much. No, right?
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  I'm not going to ask you today to determine where you went wrong or to figure
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  out what you heard or whatever the case is.
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  We're going to leave some of those questions for another time.
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  Today is about resting.
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  Today, we're going to breathe, right? We're just going to breathe because,
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  yes, processing is very much important.
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  Processing your emotions definitely can help significantly, but sometimes as well.
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  We need to just rest. We need to breathe and take a break from processing a
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  lot or even overanalyzing, right?
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  Because the truth is that sometimes after disappointment, your heart doesn't
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  need to be processing every single thing, every single day over and over.
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  There are moments for processing, right? There's a time for everything.
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  But in between processing and trying to lay everything before God,
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  in between all of that is also room for you to rest.
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  Room for you to just breathe, room for you to know that you don't have to,
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  to solve this today or right now you can just breathe so yeah and definitely
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  stay with me until the end because i'm going to give you a very simple practice you can use when,
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  i would say you notice yourself mentally replaying the story again and again
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  and again so stick with me,
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  all right and if it's if it's your first time joining welcome my name is laurie,
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  the host of the kingdom spouse disappointment podcast and if this is your second
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  time welcome back i am so happy that you are here welcome welcome welcome and,
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  and for those who have been with us from the first first episode thank you so
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  much for sticking around and to everybody else go ahead you know take a look,
• 5:03
  at the previous episodes yeah so.
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  The truth is that after disappointment your mind can kind of become like a courtroom
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  so what do i mean by your mind can become like a courtroom,
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  the truth is that sometimes after disappointment we might constantly be i guess
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  presenting evidence to this situation in our mind, right?
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  So we might say, but remember that this happened, or what about that prayer,
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  or what about that conversation?
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  What about when I felt this? What about when they said that?
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  What about that confirmation? What about this? What about that?
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  And we might try to piece everything together, trying to reach a verdict, right?
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  And nothing is necessarily wrong with that, But sometimes the truth is that
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  we might not have all of the information.
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  Right? We might not have all of the information, which can make us a bit uncomfortable
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  because usually we think,
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  if we can just understand everything and have all the pieces,
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  then we will finally feel better. Right?
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  But what I have been learning personally is that you don't necessarily have to wait,
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  to answers, having all the answers or I guess a verdict to start your process of healing.
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  You can heal without having all the pieces of the puzzle.
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  You can start your healing journey without having every answer.
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  And that's what I really want you to hear today.
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  You can heal and start your healing process without understanding every single
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  thing or having every single piece to that puzzle.
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  Now, I would definitely say that I believe there's a difference between processing
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  something and constantly replaying it, right?
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  Processing might sound like okay that thing that was done hurt me or this situation,
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  caused me to face disappointment or i had hope that this would be a b c x y and z or,
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  i need time to grieve or whatever the case is but sometimes,
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  we move a bit from processing to just constantly replaying,
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  and replaying might sound like but what if maybe if what if i had what did you
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  know and yes you might truly have those genuine questions which are fine and welcomed,
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  what you don't want is you don't want to find yourself trying to piece,
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  a reality or your current reality together solely based on the what if or maybe if and support.
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  Because sometimes you don't necessarily need another full-blown analysis right
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  now, or you don't necessarily need to have all the answers right now.
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  Sometimes in the moment, it's okay not to know. Sometimes you just need to give
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  yourself permission to say, I don't know. No.
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  I don't know. Why this happened, I probably don't know exactly what they were
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  thinking and I don't have to know everything today.
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  Right? So maybe your assignment for today isn't trying to understand everything,
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  or the what if or the maybe.
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  Maybe your assignment for today is just to eat, sleep, pray,
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  work, laugh, spend time with family, read your Bible, go outside,
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  take a walk, live, right?
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  Maybe your assignment just for today is just to enjoy today,
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  to be grateful for today.
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  Because the truth is that sometimes we become so focused on understanding yesterday
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  and trying to puzzle together tomorrow that we forget to live today.
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  And as I've said before, processing your emotions is definitely important.
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  I would say significantly important, but while you're doing so,
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  in the midst of it all, allow yourself to enjoy today.
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  Allow yourself to be grateful for the gift of today, right? The present today.
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  Allow yourself to breathe, to rest.
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  So here is something I want you to try. The next time you notice yourself going
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  back into that mental replay of what if, what if, what if, and this and that and that,
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  don't fight the thought or shame yourself.
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  Just simply say, I don't have to solve this today.
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  And then you could probably, just late at the feet of Jesus,
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  you could probably also say, God, these are the thoughts in my mind.
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  But I know I don't have to have the answer to all of this today.
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  God, I give you these questions that I have.
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  Help me, guide me, and help me to take today as a gift.
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  Help me to be grateful for today.
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  Help me to make the most of today so that I can eventually make the most of tomorrow. Right?
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  So yeah right that that's pretty much it for today today's episode is actually
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  shorter than usual but that's because today i i just want you guys to rest,
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  I just want you guys to take a deep breath and enjoy, you know,
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  the gift of life, the gift of today that you have, right?
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  Because the truth is that we don't know what will happen tomorrow or for the
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  most part, we don't know what will happen tomorrow.
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  And if we are not careful, we can let yesterday or the past or we can let tomorrow, aka the future,
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  boggle us down so much or consume our thoughts so much that we don't make the most of today.
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  And yes, I'm here to support you guys through this journey.
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  And we have asked ourselves a lot of hard questions and there's still a lot
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  more to come but in the midst of it there should be rest and there should be time to just,
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  to just breathe so before we wrap up i just want to share your usual truth for
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  the journey for this week and And that is.
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  I don't have to solve it all today.
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  You know, that's it. An unanswered question does not have to become an all-day assignment. Right?
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  So thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Kingdom Spouse Disappointment.
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  My name is Lori, your host. And if today's episode has blessed you or you know
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  someone who it could also bless,
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  share it with others so that they can also receive the impact that you are receiving.
• 13:32
  And looking forward to talking to you guys more next week. Have a good one. Bye-bye.