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The Unseen Power of Authenticity in Leadership and Men's Mental Health · Hart & Hustle Podcast

• Efrain: Welcome back to another episode here on the Heart and Hustle Podcast. My name's Efrain. This is Vince. Vince, what's good, man? Vince Benevento, LPC: It's good to speak it's good to speak with you, man. It's good to meet you. It's good to be here. Thank you. Efrain: I know, same here, man. It's Monday morning. We're flubbing up words here, but it's all good. We're getting started. Let them know where where where you tuning in from. What what city, what state, what organization? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm I'm in Westport, Connecticut right now at our office here. ⁓ I run a couple counseling centers, two in Connecticut, ⁓ one in New York. ⁓ Causeway Collaborative is the name. And we work with men and young men ages fourteen to thirty, trying to help them get their lives back on track. So Efrain: Love events. What got you there, man? Let's get started. What what gets you into this space? Because it's not a space that ⁓ it's very pretty. It's not about the paychecks, it's really about the people. ⁓ why? Vince Benevento, LPC: No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was, you know, I was a messy kid, you know, messy young man, messy, messy kid, ⁓ you know, had some pretty serious mental health and and substance use issues, you know, late teenage years, early twenties. ⁓ you know, went to college, left college on a medical leave, was hospitalized a couple of times. Things were hard, you know. So, ⁓ you know, had my own experiences, led me to this work and ⁓ always felt like I wanted to, you know, spend my time professionally helping guys who struggled like I struggled. You know, so ⁓ you know, trying to, you know, help them move in the right direction, you know, find work, make a plan, figure out what's important to them. And and honestly, man, most importantly, help them understand what being a good man looks like and and, you know, trying to trying to step into that. So Efrain: At what age did you realize this is what you're going to be doing, man? Vince Benevento, LPC: So I got sober ⁓ at twenty two. ⁓ and it was probably twenty-two, twenty-three, you know, my life started, you know, stabilizing a little bit and and beginning to look a little bit different. And, you know, it was at that point I, you know, I was doing a little bit of work in the field, you know, some like, you know, youth mentoring and some volunteering, and I had a pretty good knack for working with boys and young men. So, you know, that that seemed like a good fit. Efrain: Love it, man. I I ⁓ I actually had a neighbor that when he told me that, I was very surprised to hear that he was ⁓ he was he's now thirty-six. He's like, I've been sober for ten years. And you know, puts me back into when I was his age. I'm like, Wow, why? You know, like what made you get into that path? Was it because you didn't have mom and dad? And for him, he's like, No, I I had mom and dad. I just felt like they just ⁓ sometimes gave me too much freedom. What how do you how did you get into that space, Vince? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I you know, ⁓ probably probably not dissimilar, honestly. You know, I think my parents like did the best they could, certainly. And ⁓ you know, I hold myself accountable for a lot of the bad choices I made. I made a lot of bad choices, you know, but you know, my mom and and dad, you know, their their marriage didn't work out. That was very hard, you know, as a you know, a young guy kind of trying to find my way. ⁓ My dad was actually a closeted gay man and you know, he had a whole other life that was something he was working out and you know, I have, you know, a lot of empathy and compassion for him being somebody who he didn't feel like he could be to everybody for, you know, a variety of different reasons 'cause the world was very different at that time. And ⁓ you know, but but from my perspective, you know, my my my upbringing was always marred with like my parents fighting a lot and not getting along great and you know, I Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: spent a lot of time out of my house. ⁓ spent a lot of time, you know, with other people and in not so good situations and, you know, getting in trouble and doing stuff I shouldn't have been doing. So ⁓ you know, I was a guy I think who gravitated towards freedom certainly and and used that freedom in like ways that were not so healthy, you know. So Efrain: Yeah. ⁓ I appreciate you sharing that, man. But what was what was that breaking point for you? Was it somebody that said something? ⁓ I always feel like there's a person, there's a moment, there's a story that changes someone's life. What was yours? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ I mean definitely mine was like a progression, ⁓ for sure, but but there was a like kind of a significant moment. I was in a relationship in college and it was a like a very unhealthy relationship. We were in our twenties and we were both using and it was messy, but ⁓ but I remember I was, you know, doing some stuff, acting out in ways that I shouldn't have been acting out and and you know, I remember, you know, my girlfriend at the time gave me an ultimatum and basically said, Hey, like, we're not you're not drinking anymore if you are going to be in this relationship with me. And and, you know, despite the fact that it wasn't the best of relationships and like we have long since parted ways, you know, that relationship did matter to me at that time and it was significant at that time. And so when she put that ultimatum in front of me and said, Hey, you're not going to drink anymore if you want this thing to go, I was like, all right, cool. And that just did. Like I just stopped. I didn't like work a program. I didn't like, you know, go to detox. I didn't do it. I just like I just stopped. You know. And ⁓ you know, it it was as it was as significant a decision as I've ever made in terms of like something like single handedly changing the course of my life because substance use was like such a big part of my existence at the time and led to so many other unhealthy decisions as a byproduct of what that lifestyle was. So I, you know. Efrain: Wow. Vince Benevento, LPC: I stopped drinking and like immediately, like everything changed immediately. Like I you know, I lost like fifteen, twenty pounds in like a month, got in shape, was like I had all this time, I wasn't partying, hanging out, I was like volunteering and doing stuff, I was working, I was you know, everything got better almost immediately. And so, you know, that was that one fork in the road moment where it was like, All right, well, this one thing, which wasn't necessarily a great thing, set me in a direction of a lot of better things because it just changed Efrain: Wow. Vince Benevento, LPC: My lifestyle, you know. Efrain: I love it, man. I love these stories of of this is who we used to be. This is who we are. I also feel that men should have more of these conversations. Right. Like I I was recently talking to a friend because even at your age today, Vince, I can imagine that it's not just ⁓ peaches and cream, right? There's there's still the working on you, right? and recently I was talking to, you know, two good friends that I I could sit here that are men, I can cry on the phone and really be open with. Vince Benevento, LPC: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Totally. Never. Ne totally, totally. Efrain: ⁓ and realize, man, sometimes we just need other men to just be themselves because it truly does make a difference. But shoutouts to those women as well that see more in us before when we didn't see in ourselves. ⁓ very similar situation as you mentioned, man. It was my wife that really made me change some of the ways that I didn't realize was even wrong that was really hindering me from the next level of my life. ⁓ what men have played a role in your life, man, to just kind of see you overcome this adversary? Vince Benevento, LPC: Totally. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think I mean, I think if I'm being transparent, ⁓ like I learned a lot from my dad in terms of things I wanted to do different, right? And like, you know, we're we're so we still have a relationship, we you know, we get along reasonably good, but I think there were things about the way my father was that made me think about what I wanted, what I needed, who I wanted to be. So there was definitely like an in was and is an influence there. ⁓ ironically, like I think about him now, and there's you know, maybe more ways that he got things right than I thought of at the time too. So so that's a double sided coin for sure. But my you know, my dad's influence for better or for worse was was profound for sure. ⁓ I also would say like ⁓ friendships right with other with other men. So I have ⁓ you know, lifelong friendships with, you know, ⁓ my best friend from college. ⁓ my brother in law and I have been friends for over thirty-five years. You know, he met my sister when we were young together. ⁓ you know, ⁓ buddy from church of mine, you know, we've been friends for, you know, fifteen, twenty years. So I have some very, very long standing friendships, you know, with guys who I trust and who trust me that have been substantive for me and have brought me through a bunch of different seasons of my life. So, ⁓ so those have been sort of reciprocally helpful in terms of ways where we've supported each other, you know, whether it was physically or, you know, doing favors for each other or just kind of being present. But certainly like through circumstances of, you know, loss and loss of relationships and just hard times. Like there's been guys in my life where, you know, we've been able to support each other and encourage each other and and hold each other accountable in ways we've needed to. So Efrain: I love it, man. And fast forward, here you are, you're running an organization. How long now have has it been that you've started this all? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah, yeah, man. So ⁓ I've been running Causeway since my, you know, fourteenth year doing this. ⁓ you know, it's it is a ⁓ it is a calling, you know, for sure. I mean I I like you said, you don't you don't do this to make, you know, twenty million dollars. You do this because this is what you're supposed to be doing. So ⁓ yeah, so you know, we've we've been able to help like over three thousand Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: young men and their families, you know, try to get their lives back on track over the course of fifteen years almost doing this work. ⁓ you know, it's it's not easy work, but it it it is it is important work and it's it's helpful when you can make an impact on somebody like that. So Efrain: How did you realize this is what you wanted to do? How how did you realize I'm I'm gonna take on this ⁓ this chapter of my life, this journey and and help others? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. ⁓ knew I wanted to help people, didn't know exactly how, like felt like, you know, and and you know, kind of con had explored a couple of different conventional paths from, you know, tutoring to consulting to, you know, being a school counselor and a coach and all these other different avenues. ⁓ I had a mentor in my life years ago who is still in my life now, who said, Hey, I was doing a little bit of work for her at the time and and she said, Hey, you're you know, you're you're pretty good at this. Like, you know, whatever. You know, being around kids and young men is is something you're you're pretty good at. Have you ever thought about like kind of doing your own thing? I said like, not really, actually. ⁓ and she, you know, gave me some guidance and you know, gave me some resources to get started. And, you know, we came up with an arrangement that worked and you know, away we went. So I had somebody believed in me who saw me work, who Efrain: Mm. Vince Benevento, LPC: you know, felt like I could do this well and supported me in, you know, getting things going. But basically I, you know, I saw an opportunity, I was given an opportunity. I I took it and, you know, here we are. So Efrain: The the someone believing in you happened to me as well. I mean, I married the person that believed in me more than I believed in myself. how important is that, man? Vince Benevento, LPC: Mm. Mm. Yeah, man. Like partnership and like having somebody back you and believe. Yeah. Efrain: ⁓ not not even partnership. I think just you're in the space of believing in other young men before they believe in themselves. How important is that in general for just the the the individual that feels like they're alone, that they're not seen? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Yeah, man. ⁓ I mean, yeah, dude, it's everything I think, you know. I think ⁓ I think I think that's typically the way it happens. Right. Like I think I think it often requires someone identifying something in you that you don't see in yourself that that is the catalyst for, you know, one stepping into who he can be, you know, and and I think there's been times when I've played that role for for other people. ⁓ I've had people play that role for me, you know, ⁓ my mentor Kim, who I, you know, mentioned not by name, now by name. And I mean, you mentioned your wife, like my wife is doing that for me on a pretty regular basis, honestly, like ⁓ holding me accountable in may in ways, you know, where I'm, you know, maybe not demanding the most of myself, like her reimpressing upon me like what I should be demanding and need to be thinking about and doing. So Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: You know, w in a variety of different circumstances I think that that kinda how it goes. But in terms of the work that we do, like we try to give voice to who a young man can be long before he ever sees that option, you know, and and try to create a framework for him to work with where he can begin to see a different vision for what his life is, you know. Efrain: So when when someone comes to to you guys, Vince, they're in what space, ⁓ mentally? Are they also using? Are they just there because they need a male figure? Like what does that look like? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Yeah, it's a great question, man. So, you know, ⁓ broad range of concerns. ⁓ I think if if you asked me fourteen years ago, much more of a kind of externalizing profile, right? A guy who got in trouble, got no fist fight, drinking and driving, doing drugs, you know, like a a a a young man who is exhibiting a profile of risky behavior, right? Specifically. Now, you know, fourteen, fifteen years later. We we actually see less risky profiles, choices, young men doing things like that, and much more, you know, kind of anxious, avoid it, isolative, depressed. ⁓ you know, guys who are just not doing mu apathetic is really the the the primary profile that we see now. But you know, we see guys who are, you know, normatively appropriate and socially well adjusted and don't have any Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: mental health concerns whatsoever. We see those guys for like mentorship to just have a guy to be around to teach them things and sort of show them how to exist in the world. ⁓ we do some career development stuff. So like kids will come see us just for some help finding a job or some volunteer stuff. ⁓ you know, sometimes a kid wants to take some time off from college and map a plan and try to have some structure around that. So like it certainly doesn't need to be somebody who is doing something risky or mental health impacted or, you know, has a significant challenge or issue. Sometimes it's just better, you know, wanting to better themselves in some way. I mean, but we do definitely see guys who are like have significant issues and or, you know, pretty severely mentally, you know, ⁓ have pretty severe mentally health mental health issues or are ⁓ struggling in some way. So there's a broad range of concerns, suffice to say. Efrain: Love it. And how does someone find out about this? Like is this something that you guys are ⁓ boots on the ground always sharing the word? Like how does someone figure out, okay, this is where I need to be or this organization even exists? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah, yeah. So I mean we're a we are a, you know, kind of s we're a big business but a small business. That's it. So we are we are probably the largest outpatient men's counseling center in the Northeast. ⁓ just in terms of reach and scope and practitioners and, you know, kind of niche specialization. We work only with young men and men, ⁓ all male practitioners, you know, doing service delivery. So like for our unique focus. Efrain: Mm-hmm. Vince Benevento, LPC: we're we're pretty sizable on an outpatient basis. However, we're like us, we're like still a regional business, right? So we don't have ⁓ boots on the ground natur national workforce. you know, we are we are providing services to guys in colleges and universities across over 20 states. So like again, like, you know, large scale footprint, but you know, if you were at ⁓ the University of California, you wouldn't know about us just by knowing about us. Right. So ⁓ you know, Efrain: Not yet. Not yet. Vince Benevento, LPC: Not yet. And not and not and not yet. You know, the the one thing I did, I wrote a book earlier this past year. ⁓ so my book came out, Boys Will Be Men, Eight Lessons for the Lost American Male. I wanted to put that out there to try to like raise awareness of men's health and you know, young men's health issues and ⁓ also share my story as a guy who, you know, has ⁓ had a significant, you know, series of trials and issues, but was able to kind of build a life worth protecting and get back on good footing and so on. So ⁓ you know, I I I felt like that was a good effort to try to like raise visibility for the organization, raise awareness. We do a little more on social now than we ever used to, try to get on some podcasts when I can, but ⁓ you know, we're like anybody else, man. We're we're still, you know, bootstrapping and and trying to get people on board with what we're doing. So Efrain: Yeah. How do feel nowadays, though, man? Like, you know who that young Vint was, and you know who Vint is today. Like, how do you feel about yourself, man, and all the work you put in? Vince Benevento, LPC: Hm. Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that. ⁓ I'm just gonna go sideways and I we don't need to go into it too much, but I I can't come on the show without mentioning this for a second because this is the most relevant piece in terms of how I feel. So ⁓ my son was very, very sick. My son was sick for the last year. He got diagnosed with a ⁓ rare blood disease, and we were in the hospital for five and a half months with him. ⁓ we didn't think he was gonna make it for a period. It was very, very scary. He had a bone marrow transplant and then ⁓ you know an infection in his lungs and he had part of his lung removed and his libs you know ribs removed and so like we did this whole thing ⁓ and like really ⁓ our life was this was our life for a year. and so you know my son you know fast forward one year and two weeks later he's healthy he signed up for football he's getting ready to play football in two weeks ⁓ you know he's riding his bike sleeping on a friend's house is doing his whole thing he's great He's great. And like, you know, that's what I think of when I think of how I'm doing. You know, like my my family is intact, my son is healthy, thank God. We had so many people supporting us, praying for us, being with us, just, you know, trying to be a community to us. ⁓ and so, you know, even the work that I do now, like, it just sits in a different place in terms of my perspective, you know, and and you know, how I feel about my role with him, with young men, with my family, just as a leader, as a person, was completely transformed by that experience, but has helped me certainly in the context appreciate everything I have so much more now, if that makes sense. Efrain: No, it does, man. And I so many times as leaders, we are doing the work, right? You mentioned the purpose work. And we're pouring into others in a moment like you said where life was life and right. Who's pouring into you, bro? You know, because you your work didn't stop, right? You were still, I can imagine, still father, still husband, still business owner, still that community leader that people ⁓ expected. But there was a lot of ⁓ Vince Benevento, LPC: Mm. Yeah. Mm. Big time. Yeah. Efrain: Can imagine the the the the weight was heavy. You know, the mind was probably talking to you in different ways that you didn't want it to talk to you. Who's helping you through this all, man? 'Cause I've always heard as leaders we're really good at pouring into others, but sometimes forget to pour into ourselves. Vince Benevento, LPC: ⁓ yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was pretty solitary in this period, man. I really was. And and you know, it was it was not because people were not available, honestly. Like people were. Like, you know, I was getting hundreds ⁓ of texts a day from people just hitting me up and encouraging me. I think I had to ⁓ this was a journey that I kind of had to walk by myself and figure out where I was and how I wanted to manage it. You know, and I, you know, I had just enough time to like read the Bible and lift weights for half hour each in the morning, you know, have a cup of coffee, leave the hospital and then go back. Right. And and I just lived there other than that, you know. So, ⁓ I think there's as leaders, as men, as people, as whatever, I think there's circumstances where we need to like lean heavily on other people. ⁓ I also think there's circumstances where a period is you just gotta kinda walk alone through it to get through it and just, you know manage your own headspace as best as you can. And and I I didn't have the capacity for personal exchange during that time. Honestly, man, I didn't have time for pleasantries, I didn't have time for excess conversation, I didn't have time for anything. It was just ⁓ how do we support our son getting through the day, getting the next day, and and supporting my wife by extension? And that was all there was. ⁓ and so like now I have the ability to like re-engage and re-immerse myself in those relationships that. Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: you know, we're on standby and I'm making the rounds and having coffees and going out with guys and hanging out and doing all those things. But but for a period it was just this is the only thing there is and this is how I have to best manage it in terms of maintaining my own sense of boundaries and self and energy, I guess. Efrain: I love it. I love that you also mentioned multiple times Christ, right? The Bible, Jesus. and I'm at a space in my life where just like you, man, we're a leader that that does passion and purpose work. And sometimes the noise can be very, very loud. ⁓ and and recently you kind of mentioned it earlier. What what does it look like to be a man, right? What does that look like? And I remember my my me and my wife having this conversation. So I decided that I was going to figure out what was God's Vince Benevento, LPC: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Efrain: ⁓ vision of a man, right? I got scolded on this by the way. So I went to ⁓ Claude and I I'm asking, make it make sense to me, right? Because every time I open this Bible, it just sometimes speaks speaks to me in a different language and I just don't understand. So then when I told my my wife and I told my neighbor 50 year old man, they looked at me like I did the worst thing ever. Right. And I was like I I just I was really curious. I just wanted to know. But from that point on he he got me this ⁓ men's devotional book. So every day you could just read for a minute and and look at it. And you know Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Efrain: I it's almost like you you you feel, I feel at least, I feel this this change in my life. I feel like there's the breakthrough. But then at the same time, there is that those negative, you know, the the noises, right? The noise gets loud. ⁓ you start to doubt yourself. ⁓ because we went through such things in our own lives. So as you start to really progress, you start to ask yourself, Am I being authentically me? Am I am I being Vince Benevento, LPC: For sure. Efrain: being the honest version of myself. And I think that really opened me up to tell my wife things that I probably never told her. ⁓ right, because I felt there was pressure there. But when did you find, you know, that that I needed to lean more into into faith? I needed to lean more into to Christ. When did that come for you, man? Because I think that's a strong point of why you are who you are today as well. Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I appreciate that, man. Yeah. And and you know, so I think it ⁓ I had fallen away from the church ⁓ as a younger guy who was doing stupid stuff. And like I don't think that's unsurprising. I don't think there's any coincidence. I don't think it's unsurprising, right? So ⁓ I met my wife and like it was a pretty easy sell because I grew up in and around the church and like she had been in the church her whole life. Like that was non-negotiable. Like you're gonna do this with me, you're gonna be at church. ⁓ so like I, you know, it wasn't a hard sell, but she pulled me back into that. And I, you know, got invested quickly. So that was like one quick up level. ⁓ and then we got married young, had kids young, started business young. Life got hard, things moved fast, we both made some mistakes and ⁓ our marriage was in not so good of a spot. And then probably about eight or nine years in, you know, we were in big trouble. And so I really doubled into my faith then, right? It was like, you know, reading the Bible, you know, spending time around more men who were religious and who were, you know, discipling me and mentoring me. And and so that was very useful for me at that time. ⁓ and then, you know, more recently when my son got sick, my existence was very, very solitary at that point. And so like my faith and my immersion in doubling into my faith really Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: kind of carried us through that experience. ⁓ I mean, in the hospital, they told us straight up, like, start praying for a miracle. That's where we're at right now with your kid. Like we're not, you're not gonna ⁓ medicine is not gonna save your kid. You need a miracle. ⁓ and so we prayed for one and we got one. Right. But like when you pray for one and you get one, like that completely changes everything from my perspective. And so like, you know, I I I've since sort of made it, you know, part of my Efrain: Well. Vince Benevento, LPC: you know, part of my passion project, I guess, to like whenever anybody asks me about this subject to be very overt about what the role of faith has been in my life and what the role of faith has been in terms of supporting my son in in the most difficult situation of his, you know. And the answer is everything. You know, because we we didn't have anything other than that in this situation to carry us through. And that's what we really leaned on. And so here we are. Efrain: Well I love events. I love the stories. I'm I'm glad your son is doing well. ⁓ I can't even imagine. I have two y little young ones, and that always scares me when I hear these stories. Right. I I just I just try to protect them at all costs, but it's like you cannot control the uncontrollable. Right. And at those moments, ⁓ having faith and realizing that you are not doing this alone, ⁓ more than ever, ⁓ right. You you gotta almost like kind of let go and let God. ⁓ so Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Good. That's it. Yeah, for sure. Efrain: I I appreciate it. What what do you th when you think about legacy, man? I mean, you've been doing this for some time. You know, your legacy's going to mean a lot. ⁓ what does that even look like for you? Have you thought about that? Vince Benevento, LPC: that's a good question. Yeah, I I I used I used to, right? I used to think a lot about that and and honestly more now I'm more set on just trying to step back into where I have been and and get the most out of that, you know. So ⁓ you know, I think for a little while I didn't know if I was gonna have a business to come back to. You know, I mean I left work for four or five months and didn't do anything and just came back, you know, so ⁓ being out of the work that has defined oneself for a long period of time like that sort of makes you think about it and appreciate it differently. ⁓ you also realize that like, you know, there's far much more to life than that in and of itself. And so like right now I'm just sorta, you know, focused on being where I am. ⁓ you know, being back doing the work that I enjoy with the people that I enjoy doing it with, with, you know, my family next to me doing life and ⁓ You know, I think at some point I'll get back to the legacy stuff, but ⁓ you know, just kind of getting back into the flow after, you know, a long standoff, a long long time off. So Efrain: Got it. Got it. No, I I I I respect that and completely understand. ⁓ entrepreneurship, did it come easy? Vince Benevento, LPC: in some ways, yes, because I could never see myself working for somebody else. You know, like I just ⁓ too stubborn, too difficult, too too oppositional, ⁓ you know, too ⁓ you know, too too uncorporate. Like I just I I didn't really fit, you know, where where I was trying to shoehorn myself. And so ⁓ it came easy in Efrain: Mm. What what were some of those corporate jobs you had? Vince Benevento, LPC: I mean, I had a couple, I didn't like any of ⁓ and they I don't think they like me either. So, you know, I mean I just I I've always I've always been better beaten in my own drum, you know. So I that part came easy. Like knowing how to run a business, well that was a lot harder, but but but knowing that I should was easy. Efrain: Yeah. Do you feel like any of those jobs taught you anything for what you stepped into? Vince Benevento, LPC: ⁓ yeah, man. Yeah. So I had a I was a recruiter for like a year and a half, almost two years. ⁓ and I yeah, I was doing three hundred dials a day, you know, for two for just about two years. Yeah. And so like I think ⁓ that was monumental in terms of like helping me deal with rejection and take no for an answer and like be undeterred by, you know, somebody not, you know, wanting to get Efrain: Wow. Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: You wanna give me my way, you know? So I I I think I I became very ⁓ persistent. Efrain: it's ⁓ definitely a lonely road. So that's why I asked that. Like there's some things that we learn at that journey becoming ⁓ our own our own boss per se. ⁓ but I think in this journey as well, not ⁓ only is it lonely, but you're gonna make a lot of mistakes. ⁓ going to fail a lot. So I ask you, what was that failure, man, that wasn't so much a failure, but a huge lesson? Because I always think in every failure there's a lesson. What was that for you? Vince Benevento, LPC: ⁓ yeah, I mean I I I think I think in the beginning I became very prideful and I became very accustomed to ⁓ being successful without ⁓ having any adversity as a part of that. You know, I think in the beginning the business just grew, we got good results with kids, we were, you know, making more money the next year than the year before for the first however many years. And so it felt like it was easy for the beginning. ⁓ Which I think made it harder for the next subsequent years when things got harder, you know, when people left, when, you know, we ⁓ stepped into a poor decision about ⁓ you know, ⁓ a space that we picked up, when we hired the wrong guy, when, you know, whatever the case may be. When when business is businessing, you know, and and I think I got ⁓ I got frustrated as a byproduct of Efrain: Yeah. Vince Benevento, LPC: being successful pretty early. And and it it I think it stunted the growth of the organization and my own personal growth as a leader, like in the in the sort of secondary iteration of the business, if that makes sense. So Efrain: Yeah. I I I asked you the or kind of bring up what's the first thing I told you. It's like I appreciate that you showed up today with a backwards hat on. Cause a lot of leaders are not authentically themselves. I can imagine Vince, you've come across them and I think it's the funniest thing when someone ⁓ is is trying so hard and it's like, just be yourself, man. Like I could I could just read you so quick. Why is that so important for you? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah. Totally. because kids can smell it. You know, like I mean I I you know, I I have to I have to be my authentic me because young people and young men specifically I think can smell BS on somebody pretty fast. You know, so like if ⁓ I mean I might be able to pull a fast one on some old guy, but like if some twenty year old kid comes in here and I'm not myself, he'll know pretty quickly. And I just think it's a really it's it's it's really important for the work that I do. So Efrain: Love it. I'll leave you with this last question, man. You talk about a twenty year old young man. If he shows up, maybe needing some emotional, spiritual, ⁓ mental help, what is your advice to them? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah, yeah. ⁓ I think to to recognize that ⁓ he has the gifts within himself to do what he's been put here to do. ⁓ and that there is a thing for him to find himself doing that will give him both gratification and an ability to make a good living for himself. And and it's his job to go find it. So ⁓ you know, help that guy understand that there's a a place and a space, especially for him. Efrain: And if they want to find out more about your organization, what is the website? Where can they find you? Vince Benevento, LPC: Yeah, yeah, we're we're www. dot causeway collaborative dot com. ⁓ and then my Instagram is just Vince underscore benevento underscore LPC on Instagram. So Efrain: Vince, man, we could talk forever. I know we can. But I appreciate your time, brother. I appreciate you being an authentic leader. I that's the first thing I said to you, man, is the last thing I tell you is I've I've been in this space a long time talking to other leaders, and for so long, ⁓ I think I had this mask on like everybody else. And once you take it off, you realize that it is nothing better than just being you. You go so much further by just being you. Vince Benevento, LPC: Forever. Thank you, Matt. Yeah. Yeah. Efrain: And you've seen that in your own life, Vince. I've seen that in my own life. For those that are watching, especially those males, it's like be okay being yourself. Be okay talking to other men. Because for so long, I think we've always been kind of silo on this is who we have to become because of our past experiences, of what we thought would represent a good representation. ⁓ but now we're really kind of living into a space where it's like, Naiven about us. And I think we see it very different. So Vince, I appreciate your time. Appreciate what you are doing in the space of just mental health, physical health, emotional, spiritual, because you're doing it all. And ⁓ we'll talk to you next time. I'm Efrain. This is Vince. We'll catch you on the next one. Later. Vince Benevento, LPC: Thank you, brother. Thank you, man.