Latest / Clearly Hormonal / Ep 39: Midlife in the Middle: Caregiving & Burnout

Transcript

Ep 39: Midlife in the Middle: Caregiving & Burnout · Clearly Hormonal

• 0:02
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Welcome to Reset Recharge, the podcast where women's health takes center stage.
• 0:07
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:08
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Komal Patil-Sisodia, a triple board certified endocrinologist and women's health expert.
• 0:13
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: This show is all about empowering you with the knowledge to understand your metabolic health, navigate hormonal changes, and feel confident in the conversations you're having with your healthcare provider.
• 0:24
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Whether you're managing symptoms, exploring treatment options, or just want to feel more in tune with your body, you're in the right place.
• 0:31
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: As a physician, my goal is to educate on this podcast.
• 0:34
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: The content shared here is for informational purposes only and should not replace personalized medical advice.
• 0:41
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: If something we discuss resonates with you, please talk to your healthcare provider at your next visit.
• 0:46
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Now let's dive in and help you reset, recharge, and take control of your health.
• 0:53
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Hi everyone.
• 0:54
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Welcome back to the podcast.
• 0:56
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:57
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Komal Patil-Sisodia.
• 1:00
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I had a different episode planned for this week, but life has a way of rerouting us.
• 1:07
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: This weekend I found myself in a familiar but uncomfortable place, both an insider and an outsider At the same time, I flew out to support a loved one through an urgent medical issue, and thankfully they're doing well thanks to the exceptional care from doctors, nurses, and hospital staff, my colleagues.
• 1:30
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And yes, I call them that even though I'm in a different state and at a different hospital, they make being on the other side of the white coat a little easier.
• 1:42
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: As I'm sitting here in the hospital, I realized that I needed a way to process everything swirling in my head.
• 1:49
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Lately that outlet has been journaling.
• 1:53
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I used to hate journaling mostly because my younger sister, Priya, once read my diary out loud.
• 1:59
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Thanks for that.
• 2:00
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: But as I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate the power of getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper.
• 2:09
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: For a long time, my default was to push through discomfort and power through whatever needed to be done.
• 2:18
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Journaling has helped me slow down enough to turn thoughts and emotions into intentional action.
• 2:26
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And while taking time to reflect can feel indulgent, especially in moments like this, I honestly can't think of anything that helps me more to organize my mind and prepare for what's ahead.
• 2:40
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Midlife often places us squarely in what I think of as the sandwich era.
• 2:46
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: We're raising and caring for our children, while also beginning to navigate health and life changes affecting the generation above us.
• 2:55
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Life starts to feel heavier at hormonal shifts, changing bodies, or new diagnoses of our own, and suddenly it feels like we're pushing a boulder uphill just to keep everything from falling apart.
• 3:10
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: As a physician, an eldest daughter, and a midlife woman, I live at the intersection of these worlds.
• 3:17
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I have one foot on each side and often feel pulled in both directions at once.
• 3:23
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: The boundaries between these roles blur quickly.
• 3:27
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: My medical knowledge doesn't protect me from the fear and uncertainty I feel as a daughter or as the emerging matriarch of the next generation.
• 3:36
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I'm used to being capable.
• 3:38
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I'm used to knowing what to do next, and asking for help has never come easily.
• 3:43
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I caregiving has forced me to confront a hard truth.
• 3:49
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: My capacity is not endless.
• 3:53
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: After a lot of reflection, I finally accepted this.
• 3:56
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Needing help is not failure.
• 3:59
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: It's necessary.
• 4:02
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: When someone you love becomes ill, especially when care happens in a hospital, everything feels like it's moving at warp speed decisions pile up faster than you can process them.
• 4:14
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: It's exhausting even for those of us who understand how the system works.
• 4:19
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I've watched myself, friends, family members, and patients navigate these moments in real time.
• 4:26
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: So today I wanna share two things.
• 4:29
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: First, how to get organized when you are someone you love is facing a medical crisis.
• 4:34
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And second, how to take care of yourself while you're in it.
• 4:39
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Hospitals often rely on adult children to help coordinate communication and plan for what comes next.
• 4:46
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Discharge planning when your loved one is getting better and is about to be home, in my opinion, is one of the most vulnerable points in care, especially for older adults.
• 4:58
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: When deciding whether your loved one can safely return home, it helps to step back and consider a few key questions like how complex is the medical issue, how is their balance, and what is their fall risk?
• 5:14
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Have there been cognitive changes that haven't resolved?
• 5:19
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Can they return to their baseline ability to maintain activities of daily living?
• 5:23
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Things like dressing, bathing, cooking, or using the bathroom.
• 5:29
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: If not, how much support or supervision will they need, and what does insurance actually cover and what will fall to you financially?
• 5:40
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: One of the hardest parts for me recently has been not having clear answers to these questions.
• 5:47
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Uncertainty makes planning nearly impossible, and it amplifies fear.
• 5:53
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I don't wanna make the wrong decision.
• 5:56
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I don't wanna guide someone I love towards the wrong one.
• 5:59
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And this is where knowing who to lean on in the hospital matters.
• 6:03
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Care teams include more than doctors and nurses, case managers, social workers, financial counselors, and physical and occupational therapists are essential allies in this process.
• 6:16
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Ask for them, advocate for those conversations early on.
• 6:21
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Talk to the doctors and nurses and make sure they're putting in those consults for your loved one so that you can start to get answers and the process starts to feel a little less heavy and less difficult.
• 6:33
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Many midlife women, especially eldest daughters, are default problem solvers, but an acute medical crisis will stretch even the most resilient ones among us.
• 6:44
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: There's no pause button on parenting relationships work or community responsibilities.
• 6:51
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: We are constantly flexing between roles, trying to hold everything together, and eventually that leads to burnout and moral distress.
• 7:02
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Here are a few strategies that can help protect against that burnout.
• 7:06
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number one, delegate.
• 7:08
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: You do not have to do everything yourself.
• 7:11
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: If people offer help, please accept it.
• 7:14
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: This has always been hard for me to do, but.
• 7:18
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: It is lovely to let your community come in and help care for you.
• 7:23
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: They feel good about it.
• 7:25
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: You get a break and your loved one feels even more loved.
• 7:30
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number two, set boundaries.
• 7:33
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Decide how often you'll be able to be at the bedside, how many updates in a day you can realistically manage, and how much emotional weight you can carry in a day.
• 7:44
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number three, build in small moments of physical recovery.
• 7:50
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Eat real meals.
• 7:52
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: I went to a restaurant and had tacos and read a book.
• 7:56
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: It was lovely.
• 7:59
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Sleep in uninterrupted blocks, whenever that's possible.
• 8:03
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And step outside.
• 8:04
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Move your body, find sunlight.
• 8:07
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: It's been easy for me to do here compared to rainy Seattle, and so that has been a lifesaver for me.
• 8:15
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number four, prioritize emotional rest.
• 8:20
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: You can journal, talk to a friend or a therapist or find a support group where you don't have to explain yourself.
• 8:28
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number five.
• 8:30
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Let go of the perfect daughter narrative.
• 8:35
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Safe caregiving does not require perfection.
• 8:41
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number six, learn to distinguish between what is urgent and what is simply important.
• 8:49
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Not everything needs to be solved today.
• 8:52
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Most often it can't be solved today.
• 8:56
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And then lastly.
• 9:00
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Number seven, model self-care for the next generation.
• 9:05
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Our children are watching.
• 9:07
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: They need to see what sustainable, healthy caregiving actually looks like so that they break that cycle and can do better for themselves.
• 9:17
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: If they see us burning ourselves out, they're going to feel a need to do the same.
• 9:24
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: So it's been a week, not even a week, like half a week, but it feels like a week.
• 9:33
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: And these are the things that have helped me get through the last few days.
• 9:38
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: So if you're finding yourself in the sandwich era of your life, I really hope these tools are here for you when you need them.
• 9:47
  Dr. Komal Patil-Sisodia: Thank you for being here with me today, and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode.