Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: The art of playing the game

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: The art of playing the game · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Do stop what you're doing.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Crank car from Darren Wackhead Simpson exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Hag, I'm a heart blonde, athletic build faff for two.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: So I'll call these chat lines in America.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: It connects people from.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: All over the world.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: You dial in, you leave an advert for yourself, and
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: you say, do you want to talk to guys? Do
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: you want to talk to girls? What's your preference? And
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: then it sends you. It plays your ad that you
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: put out, which is a little bio of yourself, whatever
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: you want to say, plays it to a whole bunch
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: of people, and then they start punching a button. Click
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: nine if you want to connect with this person, and
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: then it plays you all the adverts and then you
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: click who you want to talk to? Okay, So I
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: always go in as Jennifer, and then by the end
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: I slowly reveal that I'm a dude, all right. And
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: the point is I never let it get dirty. They
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: go dirty early. I stop them.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Because you're a classy babe.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: You know, you got a wine and done.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Me a glassy babe.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: And Jennifer, there's a few things that she likes. You know,
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: which is always totally absurd. And that's the goal here
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: is to see what can I get these guys to do.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: We've heard grown men raw like lions and bark like dogs.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: We've heard that and more so, what am I going
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: to get them to do today?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer likes a man in uniform?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: What kind of uniform?
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Got weird kicks?
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: She has, uh, we don't judge s.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, okay, it's not somebody in.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: A macro uniforms. I love that yellow yellow.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: No.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: She likes soldiers, special Forces, babies, special Forces, and.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: She needs Let's see what happens. Yeah, goodness me.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: Welcome to the free chat line for live one on
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: one chat dial two. Guys, you press one, Ladies, you
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: press two, and just a moment you'll record a brief,
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: public outgoing message that all the other callers will hear
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: at the tone. Start speaking. When done, hit the pound
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: key so I can play it back to you for
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: your approval.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Hi, my name's Jennifer. I'm a hot blonde looking to
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: chat to some hot guys. Hi. My name is Jennifer.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I'm a hot blonde looking to chat to some hot guys.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: I mean you can talk, you know.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Excuse me. Here's a message from someone who wants to
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: talk to you live one on one.
• 3:26
  Speaker 6: Him, Jennifer. Daddy's a very experience in loving women, and
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: maybe you need to have an experienced person to introduce
• 3:36
  Speaker 6: your new things. Maybe you enjoy them. I think you would.
• 3:45
  Speaker 6: You sound like I'm very sweet girl.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: Honey, carefully before making it go ahead? You're connected? Say hello, Hello?
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Hi?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Who's that? Hi?
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: It's you Shelton, North Carolina. What's your name?
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Honey, Hi, Shelton, it's Jennifer here.
• 4:07
  Speaker 6: Oh, I'd love to talk to you, Jennifer. Want you're
• 4:10
  Speaker 6: up to I'm.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Just hoping to meet a nice man like you.
• 4:16
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, okay?
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: So how old are you, Shelton?
• 4:21
  Speaker 6: I'm about fifty eight, Tony.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm twenty five.
• 4:26
  Speaker 6: You're twenty five. What do you do for a living?
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I'm a waitress. Oh are you at Hooters here? And
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: what do you do for a job.
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: I'm a physician, honey.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: What a physician like a doctor?
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: I'm a doctor. Yeah.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Do you like to role play?
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: Oh? Yeah, I love you. Just what kind of roles
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: you like to play? Honey?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Oh? I love a man in uniform. Oh, like a
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: soldier and I'm being rest cute.
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well I was a navy I was in the
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: Navy for a couple of years. Where like maybe you're like,
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: you're on a boat. You want a sailor to rescue you.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: What gun do you have, soldier? Do you have a
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: nine millimeter? Yeah?
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: I have about forty five caliber side arms. I like
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: to find you on a ship that's singing, and I'd
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: like to rescue you. And i'd like to take you
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: to an isolated island where were the only two of
• 5:35
  Speaker 6: us there and we have to survive, but we two
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: before we start fimbing trees and finding coconut for it.
• 5:46
  Speaker 6: I find that pure. I get very attracted to you,
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: and you get very attracted to me, and we lie
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: under a coconut tree. I don't never get enough.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Of you, baby, that's amazing. First, I want you to
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: rescue me from some pirates.
• 6:09
  Speaker 6: Okay, well I shoot them with my forty five.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: I want you to shoot them now, shoot the baddies.
• 6:18
  Speaker 6: All right, shoot them, bang bang right.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: There, Yeah, do it again. That makes me so hot.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Oh save me, Shelton, they come in for me, Save me.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Shoot them sheltering.
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: Again. This you got me, You only got me a
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: shelping I kill them. You're not gonna let them get
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: to them, not gonna let them get to you. Okay,
• 7:01
  Speaker 6: now I've got you all of it.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: There's five more, there's five more, Shelton, shoot them.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: What gun is that?
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: They're sure trying to get to your baby, But I'm
• 7:20
  Speaker 6: going to kill them all. I'm want to keep here
• 7:22
  Speaker 6: of myself.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:25
  Speaker 6: Have you got an RPG, Shelton, Yeah, okay, I've got
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: a rootch rocket launcher, and I got a couple of
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: rockets I could use knock their boat out the water,
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: and those pirates will keep keep coming and knock all
• 7:39
  Speaker 6: out of the boat on its way. Now, explosion pirate. Sure,
• 8:04
  Speaker 6: one pirate sure wanted to get to you. Baby? How how?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: How?
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: How? How? How?
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Baby, Shelton, tell me, say, I'm the captain. Now, I'm
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: the captain.
• 8:24
  Speaker 6: Now all right, I'm in charge. Now, I'm a commanding officer.
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: I'm I'm the captain. Now say it again, captain.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: Now say it again.
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: I'm the captain.
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: Now say it again, Captain, say it again.
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: I'm the captain. Now and again, Captain, Now.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: And again, I'm the captain. Now say it again. Say
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: it again, Shelton, Come with me.
• 8:52
  Speaker 6: I'm the captain.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Now say it again, come with me.
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: I'm the captain.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: And again, cap you are the captain, Shelton, you are
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: the captain.
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: I'm the.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: You are my captain. I'm listening to you. Shelton, I
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: am listening. You are the captain.
• 9:19
  Speaker 6: I'm the captain.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: You are the captain. That's right, yes, yeah, sorry sorry,
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: Sagan Son like a man. I sound like a man.
• 9:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: Is that a problem.
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: The dynamode and he canceled me committed