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Best Ways to Increase Your Emotional Resilience Score · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWash.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwass.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for spending some time with me.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate it.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: I know that your time is valuable.
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  SPEAKER_01: So the fact that you're willing to tune in to this episode, I have utmost gratitude for.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: And today I want to talk about emotional resilience and how we can cultivate it.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: This the concept of resilience and emotional resilience has come up kind of routinely over the last, I would say the last couple months and most of my coaching sessions, because as we're going through life and its ups and downs and its challenges, it can emotional resilience is really important.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: The truth is we can't control all stresses.
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  SPEAKER_01: We can't control the challenges that life throws at us.
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  SPEAKER_01: But the thing that we can control is how we choose to respond to situations.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: And when we increase our emotional resilience, we increase honoring what's happening for us from an emotional perspective, we are able to then work through our daily stresses in a different way.
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  SPEAKER_01: So becoming more resilient, becoming more capable of noticing certain emotions but not getting caught up in them allows us to work through things like anxiety and depression and helps us counteract burnout.
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  SPEAKER_01: It also allows a pathway to continue to work towards our goals and cultivates more joy.
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  SPEAKER_01: But let's start with what is emotional resilience?
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  SPEAKER_01: What do I even mean by that?
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  SPEAKER_01: It represents your ability to respond to those life's challenges, right?
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  SPEAKER_01: But respond to them and recover from an adversity.
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  SPEAKER_01: Emotional resilience is a and very important tool in our personal growth and our well-being.
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  SPEAKER_01: And it allows us to become flexible in how we respond to a situation.
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  SPEAKER_01: Not just flexible in our response, but also flexible in our thinking about a situation.
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  SPEAKER_01: So emotional resilience means having that ability to manage and regulate our emotions.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm being very careful to say regulate and not control our emotions, because we don't necessarily always have control over the emotion that's going to arise.
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  SPEAKER_01: And most of the time, many of us spend time trying to like tamper or suppress an emotion, and instead it's learning to recognize it, embrace it, use it as a data point, and then regulate and figure out what is the committed action we want to do or to take in order to move ourselves forward.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we think about what's happened in our world as a whole and how quickly it seems like things are moving, and just the social media influences and societal pressures and just the global instability that we've all been living through, there can be an absolute increased sense of anxiety, like group, I'm talking about group anxiety, group feelings of helplessness.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that stress and anxiety that's created and spurred on by these external forces can absolutely trigger our own, our own internal uh emotional strains and negatively impact our own sense of well-being.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I've heard it time and time again on my coaching calls with my clients where they're they're saying that just some of what they're witnessing in the outer world is really having an internal effect.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's when we know that we have to do some of that inner work to help our own ability to first of all set emotional boundaries so that we know what we're allowing in and what we're not, but then also building up this emotional awareness.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: So helping our emotional resilience, so helping ourselves understand uh what this resilience is and how we become more resilient is very important.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so self-awareness obviously is huge.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: We have to be aware of what's going on for us.
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  SPEAKER_01: Awareness, and I've said this time and time again, I'll continue saying it, it's the doorway to change.
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  SPEAKER_01: When we come aware of something, we bring the subconscious to the conscious, now we can make an active choice of how we want and how we choose to deal with it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Problem solving, building our problem solving skills, allowing ourselves to brainstorm, to have different ideas without judgment, right?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: So self-compassion in con con in conjunction with problem solving, but allowing ourselves to be creative, find different ways of looking at something.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mentioned emotional regulation, just being able to regulate our systems.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we do need to co-regulate with somebody else.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've often said that sometimes this is a human, sometimes it could be a pet, because sometimes co-regulation with just another living being is what we need.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Having an optimistic mindset can absolutely help with emotional resilience.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: And what we mean by that is can we continue to cultivate optimism even in the face of challenges?
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  SPEAKER_01: And I'm again not saying toxic positivity where we pretend the challenges aren't happening, but we recognize that there is a challenge and we also look for the right, the one right thing or the thing that we still can be grateful for because that cultivates an optimistic mindset.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then adaptability.
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  SPEAKER_01: How do we adjust to new circumstances?
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, a lot of us were very comfortable in our comfort zone because it's a known quantity and we don't like uncertainty, but building this ability to become adaptable, learning self-trust so that we can trust ourselves to adapt to a new situation, that's also really important when we're building this muscle of emotional resilience.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Self-awareness, again, is about this understanding of what you're feeling, what you're sensing, motives, what you're thinking.
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  SPEAKER_01: All of that is ultimately one of the most important parts of building emotional strength.
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  SPEAKER_01: The reason why we talk about cultivating emotional resilience is because when we don't, when we think that we just want to deal with things from a physical level, I refer to it as a surface level.
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  SPEAKER_01: We can make, we can work through things for a short amount of time, but if we don't pay attention to what's happening underneath what we are experiencing on that emotional level, those things that we are quote unquote fixing or working through are going to be short-lived.
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  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we cultivate emotional resilience?
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  SPEAKER_01: Well, one of the things that's really important is to develop mindfulness in conjunction with self-awareness.
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  SPEAKER_01: So I mentioned becoming self-aware, really naming what's going on for you.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's ultimately really important.
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  SPEAKER_01: But it's also about mindfulness, coming to the present moment.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Many times we are spending, most of our thoughts are spending either in the past or in the future.
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  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to come back to the here and now.
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  SPEAKER_01: What am I experiencing in this moment?
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, tapping into those five senses.
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  SPEAKER_01: What are your five senses experiencing in this moment?
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  SPEAKER_01: Because when we are facing life's challenges, it is about this moment right here and right now.
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  SPEAKER_01: We're going to make a choice for this challenge right in front of us, and then as we move through it, we will then adapt and work through whatever else comes up.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Having a strong support system is also really important.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: As human beings, we are relational beings.
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  SPEAKER_01: Having a network of people that you can rely on, that you can you can feel supported by, which isn't always easy.
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  SPEAKER_01: I know that I have worked with some individuals who feel very alone and have felt very alone since um since the quarantine and have really struggled with cultivating that network.
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  SPEAKER_01: And so I honor the fact that it's not easy for some people.
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  SPEAKER_01: Also, those of us who deal with anxiety, some people deal with social anxiety.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's not easy to let people in because there's a lot of work that has to be done around the inner dialogue regarding what you're saying to yourself when when networking or when you're in relationship with other people.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so working on that is really important so that you can have at least one or two people that you feel supported by.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it may not be a friend or a family member, sometimes it may be a professional that you end up cultivating that relationship with.
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  SPEAKER_01: Why?
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  SPEAKER_01: Because ultimately what we need in this world, many of us need to be heard and witnessed.
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  SPEAKER_01: And when we are heard and witnessed, so much can happen for us.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because having that feeling of being understood can catapult us heads and tails forward.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when we don't, when we don't have that strong network, it's important to figure out what it is that you need, and then finding where you can cultivate that, whether it be in family, whether it be in friends, whether it be in professionals, but getting some emotional support.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then really working towards adapting that growth mindset, right?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's comfort zone, yes, we know it, but it's how can I grow?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: How can I evolve if I step outside of what I already know?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to be able to learn from mistakes rather than being stuck by them, right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: If we continue to just hold it, it's like, oh, I made a mistake, I can't do that again, now we're stuck.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Versus when we allow ourselves to make a mistake and ask ourselves, how did I learn from that?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: That is a cornerstone to become emotionally stronger and to actually build this concept of resilience.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: In order to sustain emotional resilience long term, it is to learn those new skills and to engage in those hobbies.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to continue to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, to continue that growth mindset, to continue surrounding yourself by people who lift you up, paying attention to those people that you surround yourself with, making sure that those people are continuing to encourage you and continuing to encourage you in a positive way.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Learning to set boundaries, you know what works for you and what doesn't work for you.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's so important when you're trying to work on building your emotional resilience for the long term and paying attention to your own needs.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Paying attention to what you need is not selfish.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: When you pay attention to those and you lean into that as a self-care process, you're able to build your own resilience from that perspective because you're you're honoring yourself.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that is absolutely one of the cornerstones again of building resilience.
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  SPEAKER_01: And there are different, when we think about adapting to resilience, you know, there are different techniques for different life stages.
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  SPEAKER_01: When we're young adults and those individuals I'm working with in terms of young adulthood, resilience surrounds, is definitely surrounded by building your independence and building this concept of agency and learning from trial and error and practicing emotional response, you know, emotional responses to different situations and exploring your own intimacy and navigating career paths and developing those healthy relationships.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: When we get to mid-adult, resilience involves around managing, you know, life and family and career and what those pressures look like.
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  SPEAKER_01: And then when we're in older adulthood, resiliency is usually around adapting to transition and navigating things like life transitions or potential grief or what is my purpose in later stages of life.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: So even resilience itself is going to change over time.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's important for you to just give yourself permission to grow and evolve with it.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: And to, and the the point that we're making here is that if we can integrate emotional resilience into your everyday, that allows you to cultivate growth and it allows you to respond to the life's up and downs, ups and downs.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because the truth is the human experience includes challenges.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're not going to avoid all the challenges, we're not going to avoid pain.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's, and I think I've said this before on this podcast, and I've said it on ones that I've guessed it on, but you know, pain is inevitable, suffering is the kind of the choice.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: If we build our emotional resilience, we can meet that pain and work through it without staying in suffering.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to talk about this or anything else that you feel coaching could be helpful with for you, feel free to reach out at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.