Latest / We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism / Ep. 10: I Burn For... Not You...

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Ep. 10: I Burn For... Not You... · We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism

0:00
Welcome to the We Are More podcast.
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My name is Alyssa.
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And my name is Bri.
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We are two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism.
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We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach His
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word.
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And apparently that's controversial.
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Get comfy.
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Hello!
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Hello!
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Welcome to episode 10.
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The second mini episode we've done, I guess.
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We're a whole decade old.
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A whole decade.
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That's what 10 means, right?
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Do you want to know what's really sad?
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This year I will have been out of college for a decade.
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That is sad.
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That is so sad.
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I am also old.
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I've been out of college for 75,000 years.
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Wow, that's a lot.
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I knew the dinosaurs.
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Oh.
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In college?
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They were my professors.
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Oh.
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That's exciting.
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What did you learn about, Bri?
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Tree stars.
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Hey, that's a great movie.
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Series of movies?
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They never ended.
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No.
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I'm surprised they're not still making them.
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They might.
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We should probably say what movie this is.
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The Land Before Time series, if you haven't caught on to it.
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Who hasn't seen that?
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Anyone younger than us, Bri.
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They don't do those anymore.
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I think I saw something that they were making a new one, but it was like a different animation
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style so it really weirded me out.
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I feel like the whole story of it doesn't seem like it would translate super well to
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now.
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Dinosaurs?
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No, like the depressing cartoon style.
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Just ask Disney, they love to depress you.
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They do, but not quite as much as they used to love to depress you.
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See here's my theory.
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They depress you with their cartoons so then you have to go to Disney World to be happy
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again.
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They've caught us.
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They have us hook, line, and sinker.
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I literally, like, I've, we're what, two and a half-ish months out?
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Like 82 days.
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From our trip to Disney, our millionth trip to Disney, and I have crossed over.
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I know.
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Like the moment we bought the plane tickets it was like, okay, all I want to do now is
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watch the YouTube Disney videos and be a psycho.
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I want to plan out every snack I'm going to eat while I'm there and also every outfit
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that I'm going to wear while I'm there.
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And I think I'm going to dress in theme every single day.
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Wow.
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That's a lot of commitment.
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I don't have that level of commitment.
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I'm probably not going to do that, but I do have a pair of alien ears.
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You do.
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I'm going to get that purse.
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The little alien purse.
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That was very cute.
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I always have a desire to theme what I wear, but I justâ¦
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That's a lot of commitment.
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I'm not that kind of an organized person.
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Yeah.
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I've always said that.
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So anyway.
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Speaking of movies and cinema.
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Great transition, Bri.
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Nice work.
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Today we're talking about Bridgerton.
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So we said for these mini episodes that we wanted to, like, talk about something super
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current that's going on in the world.
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And if you've been living under a rock, Bridgertonâ¦
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You still may have heard of it.
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Bridgerton season 3, part 1 came out a little while ago, and part 2 comes out June 13th.
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But I feel like by the time this comes out, you probably will have seen it.
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Although I don't recommend that you watch it.
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Watch at your own risk.
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Yeah.
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It's very graphic.
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You know, there's actually a service.
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It's called VidAngel.
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I saw that.
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Yeah.
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So we used to use it way back in the day, and it filters out stuff for you.
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So if you didn't want to see nudity, or you don't want the cussin, you knowâ¦
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There's lots of cussin.
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You can select what you don't want to see, and it'll kind of just like blip over that.
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I feel like with Bridgerton, you probably would end up with about 30 seconds left of
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an episode.
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There's not going to be a lot.
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Sorry, mom.
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But we thought it would be fun to go throughâ¦
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Bri has been listening to all the little clips and everything to talk about some of
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the societal issues, I guess, in Bridgerton.
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So if you don't know, Bridgerton is like, think Pride and Prejudice meets Gossip Girl,
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is how I would best describe it.
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And Julie Andrews narrates it.
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She's lovely.
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She's magical.
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A treasure.
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And inappropriate.
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But it's about this family from the Regency era, so think like 1811 through 1820.
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And it focuses on the elite society in London.
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So the fancy pantses.
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They hang out with the Queen, you know?
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They do hang out with the Queen.
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It seems likeâ¦
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Is that a thing that people do?
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Maybe the elite people did?
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I don't know.
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The Queen has such nice wigs.
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Oh, she does.
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She must be in pain all the time.
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Did you know?
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So the wig that she woreâ¦
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You know, remember, it's in, I think, the last episode of the first half of the third
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season?
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It's very complicated.
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We split season 3 up.
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And one of the episodesâ¦
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Because Netflix hates us.
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Because Netflix wants you to pay multiple months and not just pay for one month and
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be done.
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It is wrecking me.
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But her wig, the one that hasâ¦
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I think it's like a carousel inside of it?
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Do you know that took two years to design and create?
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Oh my gosh.
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When they were filming season 1, maybe?
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Oh my gosh.
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I don't know why it was that impactful that they were like, two years, that feels like
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a reasonable amount of time to do this.
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It is.
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And I've always said that.
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But I think I wanted to talk about Bridgerton today because I think it's a fantastic example
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of how conservative Christian communities are living in the past.
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I love that.
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I mean, I don't love that, but I love the comparison.
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Well, they make so many comments on it, like about women, and they're clearly being like,
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obviously, this is the Regency era, 1811, blah, blah, blah, and how they viewed women.
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So obviously today, it is not the same.
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Whereas they would say that quote and the conservative Christians would be like, yeah,
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I agree.
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So give us an example, Brie, of a quote like that.
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So the Bridgertons have eight siblings and each differentâ¦ well, they're based off
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of books by Julia Quinn, but each different season focuses on a different sibling from
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the Bridgerton family.
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So the first season focuses on the oldest daughter.
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And it's all about marriage.
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So it starts out with her being presented to the Queen, which essentially means she's
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able to be married now.
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And up until that point, her mother and her governess and her maids, whatever, have taught
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her everything that she needs to know in order to be a perfect wife and attract a very suitable
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husband with a title.
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Her husband in that season is very attractive.
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Not a lot of facial emotions, but he has a nice face.
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So in season one, kind of spoilers, but the drama is that her brother has kind of ruined
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it for her because he's trying to find the best possible suitor for her.
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But in the process of doing that, he's made her look kind of snobbish.
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And so she's fighting with her brother.
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And the quote is, it's my duty to protect you.
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And then she says, and what of my duty?
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She says, you have no idea what it is to be a woman, what it might be like to have one's
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entire life reduced to a single moment.
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This is all I have been raised for.
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This is all I am.
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I have no other value.
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If I am unable to find a husband, I will be worthless.
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I feel like just mic drop right there.
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I know.
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Because you think, of course that's not true.
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Like us in 2024, we're looking at that and we're like, of course that's not true.
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Of course you have value.
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But the conservative Christian world does not see women that way.
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And especially for me coming from like, I'm single and I'm 29.
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What happens in August when you have to say zip it?
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You zip it.
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I'm just going to pass away at that point.
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I'm going to die at a lovely age of 29.
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But I do feel like that when you step into a church and their first question meeting
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you is like, oh, do you have a fiance, a husband, a boyfriend?
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Do you have children?
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They only preach to married people.
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It's very rare for people like pastors to preach to single women.
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When Harrison Butker goes up and says a women's greatest accomplishment or value is to be
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a wife and mother, it isolates so many women and it makes you feel like your only value
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is to be a wife and mother, which is just not true.
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Because if you see Psalms 139, pull that up.
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Oh, okay.
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Hold on.
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I didn't know I was getting called out.
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Well that chapter talks about how much value you have in the eyes of God.
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And it doesn't matter what you do.
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It doesn't matter if you're married or single, if you have sinned or you're blameless, which
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is not true.
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But it doesn't matter what you do.
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God is there and you have value because you're a child of God and that's the end of the list.
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So verse 13 says, for you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's
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womb.
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I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
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Your works are wonderful.
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I know that full well.
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See isn't that powerful?
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It is quite.
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Well, it's a Psalm.
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It's supposed to be.
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All of Psalms are powerful.
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But it's true.
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One of the things that absolutely proves your point right there is when we were in a small
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church recently, we were both going and the church leaders kind of made a bigger deal
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out of Nathan and I and wanted to get to know us and chat with us.
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Now me to a lesser extent than my husband, but still.
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They took you out to lunch.
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Yeah, it was a whole thing.
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They remembered your name.
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And then Brianna was there just as many times as I was literally sat next to me.
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And I don't think anyone spoke a word to you.
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No, it was like you didn't exist.
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If they did speak a word to me, it was, Oh, are you married?
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Do you have a husband?
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And then once they find out that you don't, they don't have anything else to talk to
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you about.
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Or they say, Oh, like, how can you be single?
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You're so pretty, which I am.
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But that's insulting.
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Right.
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And it's insulting to say that because yes, I am beautiful.
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And I hold value on my own.
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Yeah, you don't have to sit around and wait until you get married to suddenly have a place
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in the church or suddenly have a place in society.
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And I think society, obviously, society is still sexist.
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Don't get me wrong.
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Look at TikTok.
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But at the same time, I think society is trying up North American where we're sitting right
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now society is trying to move towards single women have just as much value as married women.
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But the church doesn't feel that way.
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But Jesus was single.
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Well, I mean, Paul says that it is better to be single.
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And if you must get married, then to do so.
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And I'm not saying I will never take a husband.
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But right now in this season of my life, I am single.
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And that's okay.
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And to all of you single ladies out there, and especially if you're a little bit older
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like I am, it's okay.
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You're fine.
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You can find that person if you want to online probably because where else do you find men?
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But it's okay.
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You are perfect just as you are you hold value and I love you.
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And hold out for someone decent.
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Yes, do not settle.
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Like even you know, there's so much pressure to get married.
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And even if everybody you know is getting married, you're at that age where like you're
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going to 45 weddings and whatever.
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My gosh, if he sucks, if he's terrible, leave him.
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Because your marriage will suck and be terrible.
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After actually branding got engaged, I was like, I'm alone.
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I'm so alone.
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So I went through this like speed dating process I was online I was talking to all the men.
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And I found I'm, I'm the worst person like if you tell me that something's going wrong
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in your relationship.
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I'm like, leave him.
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Because I did.
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Like the first guy that I was dating in that season.
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He explicitly was like, Oh, yeah, my dream for marriage is for me to be the head of the
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household the spiritual lead.
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And I went off.
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I was like, absolutely not.
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That's not what I'm looking for.
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I'm looking for a partnership someone who values me beyond just being a wife or a mother.
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And he's like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally agree.
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That's what I meant.
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That's what I meant was I want a partnership too.
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And I was like, See you bye.
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I think that's a fair see you bye.
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And then the other guy was like, Well, I see us dating for about a year and then engaged
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for about a year and then you don't want to have babies like when you're super old.
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So we should start having babies pretty quickly.
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And I was like, Whoa, and he's like, Well, what do you think?
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Let's keep talking about it.
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And I was like, I actually don't want to talk about this right now.
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You're making me very uncomfortable.
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And I want to stop this conversation.
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He goes, he threw my age in my face and was like, Well, you're this age, we need to start
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talking about this.
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And I'm like, you'd been dating for what, like three months?
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Maybe.
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I was like, this is a good enough reason for me to leave you.
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Goodbye.
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But see, okay.
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When you talk about it like that, it sounds flippant, like, Oh, well, fine, I'm just done.
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But those are very serious warning signs.
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Yeah.
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And if you're seeing those three months and honestly, I think it was less than three months,
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it's time to go.
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Yeah.
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And that would be my advice to people out there in the dating world.
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Like you said, don't settle.
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And if those warning signs or someone is making you feel that uncomfortable that quickly,
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it's not worth it.
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No, it's not.
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There are so many people out there.
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Well, I think again, we place so much value and church but also society as a whole on
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marriage, on having that love marriage relationship that you see on TV.
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On Bridgerton.
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On Bridgerton.
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That it seems like as long as we can get down the aisle, everything's going to be fine.
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And that is not true.
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Not at all true.
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Don't set yourself up for failure.
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Look for someone who's worth your time.
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Because you've said like the first year of marriage was the hardest for you, right?
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So hard.
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Because you're trying to combine your life with somebody else's.
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And so if you're not too strong people whose goal is to be there for the other person,
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whose goal is to make this marriage work, it's not going to work.
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You're screwed.
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Like just give up now.
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Like that sounds so bad, but really don't put yourself in that position.
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Don't walk down the aisle.
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Be a runaway bride.
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I don't care.
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Like if that's better for you, being a runaway bride is going to be a whole lot better than
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walking through a messy divorce in five years with kids and dealing with all of that.
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It's not worth it.
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Bri, what's another quote from Bridgerton?
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I would love to hear another.
16:36
Okay.
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So this comes from season two.
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Season two.
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The worst of the seasons.
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It's not good.
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But there's only been two and a half so far.
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That's fair.
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But it's still the worst.
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Although the main girl in that season is stunning.
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She's beautiful.
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So beautiful.
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But the second season focuses on the oldest son, which I think is an interesting change
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from like the daughter's perspective of season one.
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And now we're in the son's perspective of season two and his job is to find a wife.
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So his family legacy lives on so he can have an heir.
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Well complicated stuff happens.
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Anyways, he falls in love with a older woman, older for the time.
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She's 26.
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He's still younger than he is.
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And she, I would say, doesn't conform to the traditional lady-like society because she's
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not out looking for a husband really.
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She's trying to find one for her sister.
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You can watch season two and you can figure all that.
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Anyways, she is going on a hunt with the men.
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The men.
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And the men kind of laugh when they find out that she is going to come and they're like,
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women do not go on hunts.
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And she responds with, women do not or women are not allowed to.
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I think that is very powerful because how often are you hearing like, girls don't speak
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like that.
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Girls don't do that.
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Girls don't wear clothes like that.
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Literally my whole life.
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All the time.
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And my response now and forever will be, well women do speak like that because I am a woman.
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And I'm speaking like that.
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Well we get that a lot from this podcast of like, well we're not being feminine when we
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speak because we'll say, we'll talk about stuff.
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We'll say, piss piss piss.
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We have one of those where we say boobs like 12 times.
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And I understand that that's not lady-like.
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Lady-like.
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And I'm not saying that it's appropriate for every situation, but not because I'm a woman,
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simply because it's not appropriate for every situation.
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Exactly.
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In this particular situation with you and I sitting here laughing, making jokes, knowing
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that we're speaking primarily to women.
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Not all, but primarily.
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And that one guy on TikTok.
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I think it's totally fine for us to speak like this and just be who we are.
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Not who we are as women, not who we are as ladies, just who we are.
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Because you can't say that all women are the same and should speak the same.
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Like how they say, a woman's greatest value is to be a wife and mother.
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What is a man's greatest value?
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You wouldn't be able to define that because you'd say, well, there's so many different
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individual men and their callings are different.
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It's the same for women.
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Right.
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Everybody is different.
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Their callings are different.
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Their likes and dislikes are different.
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Yeah.
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Like she wants to go out on this hunt.
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Let me tell you, no desire.
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No, pass.
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No, thank you.
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I like the inside.
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But I had several female friends who love to hunt.
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My roommate from college, shout out to Jamie, she hunts bears.
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Love that for her.
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If that's where she finds joy, have a super time.
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Not where I find joy, but not because I'm a woman.
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Again, simply because you are Alyssa.
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Because I'm me.
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Well, we had this conversation last night with our mom where we said, and I'm absolutely
20:02
guilty of doing this too, but whenever a statement starts out with, as a woman, I feel this way.
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Or not from me, but from someone else.
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As a man, I feel this way.
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And the issue with those statements is that you're putting yourself in the place to be
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the speaker for all womankind.
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As a woman, don't you think you just want to be taken care of?
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No, not as a woman.
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If you in your life-
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As an individual, everyone wants to be taken care of.
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So that's kind of a bad example.
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But if you in your life want to be someone who's financially taken care of, who's not
20:40
necessarily bringing in money-
20:43
Hey Jack, I would love that.
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I'm looking for a sugar daddy.
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You can't say that.
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That's against the whole podcast.
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I'm looking for a husband of great age, close to death, no children.
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He needs to be wealthy.
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You missed that part.
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Very wealthy.
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That's the really important part.
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But the point is that those statements aren't because you're a woman or because you're
21:12
a man or because you're whatever.
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It's simply because you're you.
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You have one more quote that I really like that I want to get to.
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I haven't seen season three part two yet because in my world it's not out yet.
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But there was a quote on the trailer for it and it was so good.
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Alyssa and I both picked up on it.
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As soon as we saw it we were texting each other like, did you see that?
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As we're in bed at 8 o'clock.
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So season three focuses on one of the Bridgerton's sons and his best friend who becomes his more
21:48
than friends.
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So this girl's name is Penelope.
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And Penelope's mother is talking to her.
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That's the best British accent I've ever heard.
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I think we should go to England on our trip and you should talk like that.
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I'm looking for the queen.
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Too bad she's dead.
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She's that's the way.
22:11
Oh the queen.
22:14
Things are so sad.
22:17
I think she died like two years ago.
22:21
It's really upsetting.
22:22
Anyways, so Penelope's mother is talking to her before she gets married to Mr. Bridgerton.
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And her quote is, your duty is to cater to Mr. Bridgerton's dreams.
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And Penelope says, what about my dreams?
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And her mother says, ladies do not have dreams.
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They have husbands.
22:41
Does that feel like it could be a direct quote out of Harrison Butker's stupid speech?
22:45
Yes.
22:46
Because he literally says that.
22:47
I wrote that in my notes.
22:50
Harrison Butker didn't say that as bluntly, but he did say that.
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Absolutely.
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It's the same message.
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And again, within religious spheres, not everyone, but this is being said to women.
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This is being taught to women.
23:08
You don't have dreams.
23:10
Your dream is to be a wife and mom.
23:13
Your job is to build up your husband's dreams and all of his desires and encourage them.
23:19
When I was younger, I did not want kids at all.
23:24
Now that has changed.
23:26
Love my kids.
23:27
It's amazing.
23:28
It's funny how you and I have flip-flopped.
23:30
I wanted 100 children and now I'm like, no!
23:33
Because you saw childbirth.
23:34
It's really scary.
23:37
But really, I had no desire for kids and a lot of that was who I was dating at the time.
23:43
I didn't want it and I was fairly vocal about it.
23:46
You're fairly vocal.
23:48
Yeah.
23:49
Period.
23:50
I'm an introvert, but I'm also kind of a loudmouth.
23:53
You are.
23:54
I don't know how that combines, but I am.
23:56
And so the rest of the family was fairly well aware of that.
24:02
And all the time, every time, it's like, well, you'll change your mind.
24:05
You'll change your mind.
24:06
You'll change your mind.
24:07
And I guess I'm a bad example because obviously I do have kids and they're wonderful.
24:11
But just the point of like, that's the message we're giving to women is, well, you just
24:18
really don't matter if you don't have kids.
24:21
That's so true.
24:22
That's how it feels.
24:24
That is being said to women all the time.
24:29
So one of the things that I've tried to be really conscious of with my daughter is she,
24:34
I mean, she's young, so it's not like she's making major life decisions now, but she has
24:38
said, I don't really want to have kids, mostly because it's going to hurt.
24:43
She's heard my story.
24:44
I'm pretty blatant.
24:47
And I've been very clear with her, if that's what you want, great.
24:54
If you don't want kids, great.
24:57
Do your thing.
24:58
Live whatever life you want to live.
25:00
If you do want to have kids, I'll be right there to support you.
25:02
If you don't want to have kids, I'll be right there to support you.
25:05
And she's so funny because there have been, you know, we come from a conservative space.
25:10
And so when she says things like that, she gets the same crap that I got as a kid.
25:15
And somebody said something to her once and I was like about to mama bear it.
25:20
So someone, she wants to be an astronaut, or she did.
25:23
Now she wants to be Taylor Swift.
25:25
But she, I think she still kind of wants to be an astronaut.
25:30
And someone had said to her, well, what are your kids going to do when you're up in space?
25:35
Oh, I almost lost my mind.
25:38
But she, no issues.
25:41
Like right away she goes, someone else will take care of them.
25:45
They'll be fine.
25:46
And I was like, it's just so wonderful.
25:53
Because you, you always hope that your kids are hearing the things that you're saying.
25:57
And the fact that she doesn't have that hold on her to say, well, you must be a wife and
26:06
mom first.
26:09
If that's what she wants at the end of the day is to be a wife and stay at home mom,
26:13
great.
26:14
But that is not who she has to be.
26:17
Right.
26:18
She gets to make that decision.
26:19
Yeah.
26:20
And I think that's very, it's a cool thing that I get to do and that you get to do and
26:26
like the people pouring into her life get to see.
26:29
She's a strong cookie.
26:31
Yeah.
26:32
And I hope that that's something that we're doing for whoever's listening, but that you
26:37
can do it for the younger women in your life, whether they're your kids or not.
26:42
Yeah.
26:43
She's not my kid.
26:45
Like whoever's life you get to pour into, I hope you can give them that confidence to
26:48
say, I'm going to be who I want to be.
26:52
I'm going to follow the dreams that God gives me, not the dreams that God gave my husband
26:58
or if I choose not to take a husband.
27:03
You know, I hope that for us all that we can move into that space finally.
27:11
Something else I wrote on my notes is about just power dynamics.
27:16
It just, it seems so desperate to keep this patriarchal society, this very like 1950s
27:27
view of marriage.
27:29
It seems desperate at this point because there's so much information out there disproving these
27:35
traditional gender role beliefs.
27:39
It seems like, well, if I lose this power, then who am I?
27:45
You know?
27:46
Well, then I mean, I think that that's hitting the nail on the head.
27:49
This has been so ingrained in generations of men that this is who you are.
27:57
And if this isn't who you are, then you're weak.
28:00
You're not fulfilling what God wants of you and you're useless to us.
28:04
Jesus wasn't that.
28:06
Jesus wasn't this like, take charge, must be in control, manly man.
28:14
That's never said in the Bible.
28:16
It's nowhere.
28:17
Jesus was a quiet leader who put himself last.
28:23
And for anyone out there who wants to be a leader, that's the best kind of leader you
28:27
can be, man or woman.
28:30
So we love Pride and Prejudice, and we always have, as long as I can remember.
28:39
Oh yeah.
28:40
When I say that, I mean the four hour long BBC special with Colin frickin' Fur.
28:46
He is beautiful.
28:49
But we used to watch that regularly all the time, at least probably quarterly.
28:57
We watched that entire thing, if not more.
29:01
So we're watching it today, because why not?
29:03
It ties into Bridgerton.
29:07
They're both regency.
29:10
And one of the things that I picked up on, and we were sitting watching it and I was
29:13
like, oh, I gotta talk about this in the podcast.
29:16
Elizabeth is walking, so her sister Jane, Jane is the oldest.
29:20
I feel like if you haven't seen this, there's going to be some context issues.
29:24
But Pride and Prejudice has been around for a long time.
29:27
I feel like there's very few spoilers.
29:31
So Jane is sick and she is staying with Mr. Bingley, who she's interested in.
29:38
Not like staying with him, staying with him.
29:40
She was over there and she got sick.
29:43
And apparently in Regency England, you can't travel three miles when you're sick.
29:47
So they like keep her there and bring the doctor and whatever.
29:50
So her sister Lizzie walks over to Mr. Bingley's house.
29:55
So it's like three miles, she walks it, sounds like a terrible time to me.
29:58
I'm not a walker.
29:59
Plus she's in like 45 skirts.
30:02
It's not a good time.
30:05
But she decides to walk.
30:06
And it's like a big thing with her mom that she goes walking with her sisters, whatever.
30:12
So she gets there and one of Mr. Bingley's sisters who is staying with him, they're
30:17
like making fun of her a little bit because she's country and a little bit hickish and
30:21
whatever.
30:22
And so the one girl is talking about Lizzie's skirts and she goes six inches deep in mud,
30:29
I swear.
30:31
So the other sister says that Lizzie walking was some kind of conceited independence.
30:37
So I wrote it down.
30:39
And I just, again, this Regency era, but still also applicable to what we talk about modern
30:46
day, all the girl chose to do was walk.
30:51
She did something slightly out of like the normal line of things.
30:55
The feminine expectation.
30:56
Now, if a man had walked, that wouldn't have been odd at all.
30:59
But because she's a woman, her walking was like, that's a little unfeminine.
31:04
That's a little weird.
31:06
So now we're going to say she's conceitedly independent.
31:10
I feel like that's secretly said to someone, like if you are a feminist in the Christian
31:15
world, it's like conceited independence.
31:19
My gosh, I feel like that should be our tagline.
31:22
We are more the conceitedly independent sisters.
31:26
I think that's good.
31:30
I think it is.
31:31
I'll put it up next time.
31:34
One of the characters in Bridgerton that is a feminist is Eloise.
31:39
She's one of the sisters, Bridgerton sisters.
31:44
And she is looked at as very different because she has these like feminist viewpoints, which
31:51
are very different for the Regency era.
31:53
She wants to go to college, right?
31:54
Yeah, she wants to go to college.
31:55
She doesn't really want to get married.
31:57
She doesn't want to come out to society because that totally freaks her out.
32:00
When you say come out to society, we mean-
32:03
Be presented to the Queen.
32:04
There you go.
32:05
And say that you're ready for marriage.
32:06
Our idea of coming out is very different in 2024.
32:10
Imagine how unfortunate.
32:11
She goes to college and she graduates and she has to hear Harrison Butchers' money.
32:17
Your greatest value is to be a wife and mother.
32:24
So in season two, she is presented to society and she's compared to her sister who is like
32:32
the perfect lady.
32:36
So she's being compared to her sister and the quote is, she's talking to her mom.
32:40
She goes, I know that they are comparing me to Daphne.
32:43
I can never live up to that.
32:44
I do not want to live up to that, but it does not make it any easier to know you are constantly
32:49
disappointing people just by walking into a room.
32:52
How many times as a single person have I felt that way?
32:56
Every time I enter a holiday gathering alone, they're like, oh, you haven't found a husband
33:01
yet.
33:04
Constantly disappointing people.
33:06
And I feel like just that viewpoint needs to change.
33:10
Sometimes I feel like that with this podcast too.
33:15
We are so far away from what we grew up believing.
33:19
I think whenever we go into larger gatherings, this topic comes up a lot of the podcast or
33:26
feminism or whatever.
33:27
People know that we like to talk about it and so they like to push our buttons a little
33:30
bit sometimes or just have a conversation.
33:33
And it's the same thing.
33:34
It feels like we're constantly disappointing you just by being who we are.
33:43
Being conceitedly independent.
33:47
But I think because we are conceitedly independent, we are able to move past that to some degree
33:55
and because we have each other.
33:56
Yeah, I think that's a big thing.
33:58
We have our parents who are very supportive of who we are, of the podcast, of the opinions
34:05
we have on things.
34:06
And that allows us to feel safe and secure.
34:09
And a little bit empowered.
34:10
Yeah.
34:11
Yeah.
34:12
Not everybody has that.
34:13
Yeah.
34:14
And you think about someone in that situation like the quote you just read and absolutely
34:19
they feel constantly disappointing.
34:22
And that's a big ask for somebody to step out and say, no, what I've been taught is
34:29
wrong.
34:30
And now you don't have any support anymore.
34:33
Right.
34:34
Now, who are you?
34:36
You're not your beliefs anymore because your beliefs have changed.
34:40
It makes it a lot easier to conform to someone that you are not.
34:48
Yeah.
34:49
Sometimes you want that feeling of acceptance.
34:53
I mean, even for us, the easier path certainly would be, certainly with all the churches
34:58
we've had to go through lately, it would be to just say, yeah, this is fine.
35:03
I'll just pretend that I believe this stuff.
35:07
I could have married that man who wanted to have all my babies.
35:10
I don't think he wanted to have your babies.
35:12
He did.
35:13
He wanted to have them and birth them.
35:16
He wanted to be the first man pregnant.
35:19
I mean, that's a better deal for you.
35:22
I know.
35:23
Childbirth is not a great time.
35:24
Maybe I should call him.
35:27
Please don't.
35:29
So next week we have an episode coming up.
35:31
We just recorded it.
35:33
It's our part three of the submission series and it is about the passage where Paul calls
35:41
men the head of women.
35:46
So we're going to talk through that.
35:47
It's a super fun one.
35:49
Well, maybe fun's not the right word.
35:51
I would say it's about the same as everything else.
35:56
We laugh a lot because we're at great times.
35:58
Yeah.
35:59
All right.
36:00
So we'll see you then.
36:01
We hope you guys have enjoyed this.
36:02
Please follow us on our social media.
36:05
Our TikTok, our Instagram, our Facebook.
36:07
That's it.
36:08
That's it.
36:09
YouTube.
36:10
We have YouTube.
36:11
Boom tube.
36:12
Okay.
36:13
We'll see you guys next week.
36:14
Bye.
36:15
Love you guys.
36:16
Bye.
36:17
Bye.