Latest / ok storytime / I ACCIDENTALLY discovered that I’m not really adopted… and I’m disappointed! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3137

Transcript

I ACCIDENTALLY discovered that I’m not really adopted… and I’m disappointed! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3137 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime hosts. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep this show running.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I accidentally discovered that I'm not really adopted. And I'm disappointed.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Now why would they lie about that? Okay.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: So basically, I, 14 female, was always told that I
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: was adopted. This makes sense. I've never questioned it. I
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: have two dads who I call Abba Papa and Dad Daddy.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Dad Daddy, Abba Papa.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I love them so, so, so, so, so, so much. Okay.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Like so, so much. I know I might come off
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: as resentful in this post, but I'm just really hurt
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: right now. Whenever I've brought up my biological parents in
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: the past, my parents just completely shut down. My Abba
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: will kind of just go quiet and pretend like he
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: didn't hear me. And my dad always just changes the
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: topic or tells me we'll talk about it when I'm older. Recently,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: I started poking around to figure out some stuff about
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: my bio parents. I didn't inform either of my dads.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to hurt their feelings or make them
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: upset or make them think I'm ungrateful. Long story short,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: I found my birth certificate. And as you can probably
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: tell from the title of the.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Post, surprise, surprise.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not fully adopted.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, I see you. I see you. I'm seeing the
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: yous now.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: However, my Abba's name was on the birth certificate. By
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from BeneficialTie5413. Submit your own stories
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: on the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: We're going to read this story about this adopted kid
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: who's not adopted. And we're going to have our thoughts.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: But none of us are adopted. So let us know
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: if you're adopted, how you would have felt. And everyone
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: else is not allowed to comment. And OP says, I
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: did more digging and found a marriage record between him
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: and the woman whose name was on the certificate, who
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: is my birth mother.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see you. I'm seeing the yous bright and clear.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I think he cheated. I think OP's father cheated on
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: this birth mother once. With OP's other dad.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: But then... Oh. But did daddy know? Maybe. Other father?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe, maybe not. I'm assuming that they are ashamed to
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: talk about that.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I agree with Megan Jane.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: That's what I was going to say.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: But why would they talk about that?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I was just trying to think of what would be
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: shameful that they wouldn't want to talk about. But then
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: why wouldn't she have custody?
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Because she's like... Yeah.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Surrogate would make a lot of sense, but why wouldn't
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: they just say?
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, why would they... tell OP that he's just adopted.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Is it a birdcage situation? I love that movie.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Nathan Lane is nowhere to be seen, folks.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Where's Nathan Lane in drag?
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: It was dated a few years before my dads got married.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I was just so hurt and confused. Do they think
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: I'm super shallow or something and would resent my dad
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: because we're not related? And why wouldn't they tell me
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: about my mom, who is alive and well, by the way?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: I found her on social media married with two kids.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I guess I started getting really quiet and keeping to
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: myself because I didn't know what to do with this
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: and I was keeping it all inside. Then I was
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: having this argument with my Abba and I kind of
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: just snapped something about him not telling me about my
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: birth mom and stuff. I didn't mean to reveal what
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I knew, but I did. And now they're both upset
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: and this is just a giant mess and I feel
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: like such an a-hole.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: How are you an a-hole?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of ridiculous. They didn't even tell you
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: How are you an a-hole for discovering the truth?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a child. You're a child who asked for
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: information and then they refused to give it to you
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: and you looked for it.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: You're not the a-hole.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I hope you should take a DNA test. Got loyalty,
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: got loyalty.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Kendrick Lamar.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Inside my DNA.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: But I also feel like I'm kind of justified. I
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: don't know. It makes sense you don't know you're 14.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: The friends I've told about this are divided. I wish
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I had never looked into this. Am I the a-hole? No!
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: And I bet your dads aren't even that upset.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like they're just ashamed of whatever happened.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Or sad. And they don't know how to talk about it.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Well, there's an edit. I don't know if this really matters,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: but a lot of people are bringing up cultural views on...
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: men being married and adoption over time. So I grew
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: up in America, not near the Bible Belt. My dad
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: is from England and moved here across the pond when
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: he was a young adult. My Abba bounced around everywhere
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: growing up. He met my dad when he was on
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: a trip to London, but ultimately spent most of his
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: time in the States. And the verdict is no a-holes here,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: which I agree with.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I also agree. You're 14. How can you be an a-hole?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You don't even know anything yet. Get a load of
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: this guy over here. Oh, he's not adopted and has
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: a dad, lives with a dad. Who's also got a husband.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And we have no problem with this. We're only focused
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: on the fact you're not adopted. That's what we're going
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: to make fun of you for. Yeah.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Watch out.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: She's got a dad.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: She's got a dad.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: And he's biological. Me, me, me, me, me, me.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know how I'd be able to, I wouldn't
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: be able to handle that.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: No, I would cripple you socially.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I don't have the strength to deal with that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I hope you would never get over that.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: If someone made fun of me right now for not
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: being adopted, I'd probably cry. You're not adopted.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Who said that?
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: God? You're not adopted, Dakota. I have an update. I
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: wrote down all my thoughts beforehand and ended up sitting
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: down with my dads a few days after the fight
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: to talk. I used I statements and told them how
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: them not being honest about me being adopted really hurt
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: me and made me feel like they didn't trust me.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: It made me feel like they thought I was shallow
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: and would love one of them more than the other,
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: which I don't. And it made me question if we
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: were all really as close as I thought we were.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I felt it damaged our relationship. They were really understanding
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: and the conversation got heavy and emotional. There was a
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: lot of crying. I'm not going to go over exact
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: details out of respect for their privacy, but here's the
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: gist of it. My Abba, my birth father, and my dad,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: my adopted father, were friends ever since they were teenagers.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Whereas my dad was openly out of the closet, my
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Abba was not. Abba ended up marrying my birth mother,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: and they had two kids, a girl, and then five
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: years later, they had me. My older sister, who I
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: never knew, ended up passing away super traumatically when I
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: was only a baby. Their marriage fell apart, they split,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: and my bio mom couldn't process it and ended up
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: hospitalized in a mental institution for a little bit. My
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Abba moved in with my now dad, and they both
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: worked together to take care of me and worked through
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: the grieving together. After a while, my Abba accepted that
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: he was bi, and then after a few years, they
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: got married. Even before they were together, I apparently got
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: super clingy to my dad as a baby. He was
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: the only one who could calm me down when I
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: wanted my mom, and they were worried telling me would
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: damage our relationship. They were planning on telling me when
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I was five or six, but kept putting it off
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: until it was seemingly too late. Instead, they just buried
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: the past and hoped it would never come up.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Aw, it always does, though. That's just wishful thinking.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know. There's plenty of cold cases out there.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: That's true. That is a good point. If you really
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: buried it, you could.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Get away with it. If you bury it at certain
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: coordinates in the Mojave Desert, it will stay buried. That's
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: a lot.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: That is a lot. I'm sorry that you're finding all
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: this out right now at the ripe age of 14.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Not much left to live, you know. Not much left
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: to live for.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Now that OP knows this. OP's 14.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: OP knows the truth. They're no longer adopted.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: You've got four years. You could run away.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: You could. You could go get adopted.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Become a vagrant and go into the foster system and
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: become adopted. Mm-hmm.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: You could still live your dreams of being adopted.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: You've got four years. Mm-hmm.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I really think that this will be fine. It is
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: crazy that your parents kept this from you for so long,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: but you know, 14's not so late in the grand
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: scheme of things. Could have done it when you were 50,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: and then you would have been so sad.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: You could have found this out in some sort of
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Nick Cage, National Treasure-esque treasure hunt. Where your dads would
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: have left elaborate clues for you to find your birth certificate.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: And then you find out, oh my God, I'm not adopted.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: And then you're upset, I guess. And then the title
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: of the movie is National Adoption.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Nationally Not Adopted.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: National Not Adopted.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: After my bio mom got out of the hospital, my
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Abba and dad both tried to help her get back
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: on her feet. and set up visitation, but she cut
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: all contact with them and signed away her parental rights.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: That was the last time they spoke to her. They
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: had no idea that she was still alive, let alone
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: that she had kids. I'm still kind of hurt, even
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: though I understand why they did it. I do think
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: our relationship got partially damaged, but it'll get better with time.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: We're going into family counseling. The next step is reaching
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: out to my bio-mom, debating whether or not to do
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: it because I don't want to bring up any trauma
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: for her and my dads are leaving the choice up
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: to me, but they would like to be involved in
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: the process. And that's the end of that story. Yeah,
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I'd say don't decide that until after some therapy. Yeah.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Whether or not you're going to talk to your birth mother.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely get some therapy. Maybe wait a bit
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: because she seems like she could potentially be somewhat unstable,
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: even if she is doing better on the surface now,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: at least on Facebook.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Perfect strategy? Don't ask her. Ask her husband
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: how she's doing.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, hey, is your wife really cool and chill?
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Hey, I'm just a casual stranger interested in the well-being
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: of your wife.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Casual stranger here? How's your wife?
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Definitely not the 14-year-old she gave birth to 14 years ago.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I'm an adult man in a trench coat. Not a
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: 14-year-old that your wife gave birth to.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: How is she? My name is Vincent Adultman.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Vincent Adultman.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: And I am one person with a regular body. And
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: if you ask more questions, then you're rude. And that's
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: My cousin bullied me since I was one year old
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: and my family let it happen.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: That's like a cartoonishly evil sentence.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Hello, Reddit. I'm 23 female and I'm getting married this
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: May to my long-term boyfriend, 27 male. We've been waiting
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: to get married for about a year since we've been
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: saving up our finances to move out. And now is
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: the perfect time to start the process of getting married.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I'm very excited. We have told our immediate families so
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: far and they are all ecstatic for us and support
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: us 100%. However, there is just one problem. I have
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: a cousin, 25 female, who has bullied me my entire life,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: and I do not want said cousin at my wedding.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Growing up, she made my life a living heck. She
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: never missed a chance to make fun of me, and
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: she used to physically bully me as well. I remember
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: times she would make up scenarios and tell me people
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: from school called me ugly, fat, and a sloot. Yikes!
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: At one years old?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: And just to make me upset and feel insecure about myself.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: They were just insecure a baby could do the stuff
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: they were doing.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you were a baby genius, if you will. At
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: one point, she even admitted she was jealous of me.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Maybe that's what it is.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this whole time, OP's been a baby genius.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: And her cousin's been jealous of that. It's Angelica and
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Tommy Pickles.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: It's John Travolta.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: You don't know that reference, do you?
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Of course I do, Rugrats.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Thank goodness.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: These days, I feel like we're only civil because our
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: moms are very close. Her mom is my mom's sister.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: This piece helps our families stick together, and there have
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: been no major incidents since then. To this day, she
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: still makes snide remarks or backhanded comments to me. By
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: the way, this comes from The Conflicted Bride. And if
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: rs.showcase storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: I'm Dakota.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: We're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: have all the answers. So if you've got answers, give them.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Give them now in the comments.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: She's threatening you. You better do it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Give them here. Cough them up.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Opie says, I've come to realize that putting up with
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: that toxic behavior is unhealthy. And this is my wedding day.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I deserve to feel happy. I decided that I don't
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: want to invite her to something that is supposed to
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: be one of the happiest days of my life. She
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: doesn't deserve to be a part of my happiness. I
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: told my mother this and she was upset. She thinks
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: if I invite my aunt's family and exclude said cousin,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: my aunt will be very upset and it will cause
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: a whole family fight. My mom also said it will
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: trigger her anxieties and make her feel uncomfortable at my
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: own wedding. I told her that if my aunt doesn't
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: want to come because my cousin is uninvited, I would
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: have no hard feelings toward her and I completely understand.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: This wasn't enough for my mom and she was still
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: upset at my response. She doesn't think it's worth not
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: inviting my cousin for one day and that it would
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: cause a lifetime of conflict. My fiance thinks I'm in
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: the right and he personally doesn't want her at the
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: wedding because of how she treated me in the past.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: He said it's our day and we can choose who
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: we want at our wedding. I still feel like I
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: might be the a-hole for potentially causing drama just because
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: of not wanting to invite my cousin. If you want
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: full detail of what my cousin did to me growing up,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I'll put it in the comments below.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: So am I the a-hole?
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Why'd you let your cousin do that to you?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Shouldn't have let her bullied you for so long.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Should have bullied her back.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: And you could have put a stop to that at
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: one years old.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: Honestly, Opie had all the power. She's jealous of Opie.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: You could have just used that as momentum.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: The classic debater's checkmate. Poop your pants. And then they
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: have to smell it. Yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, pee poops. I thought you were cursing her.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because she's a baby.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Curse poop your pants.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, like, no. No, no, no.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Power word poop your pants.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: No, that was a joke on a couple of different levels.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I see.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe after a few years you'll be
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: able to.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I'm just a baby genius. Update. My fiance and I
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: decided to just have a basic elopement. No celebration, no
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: after dinner, nothing. We might go on a honeymoon afterwards.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: We aren't sure where to go, but I'm sure it'll
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: be fun with no drama. We also decided to postpone
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: the date of our elopement for a later date. As
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: of the conversation with my mother, a couple days after
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I posted the original Reddit post, I talked to my mother.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I told her I am not having my cousin at
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: my wedding. I don't care that she'll be upset. It's
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: my day. And I say who goes and who doesn't.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: After I told her, she just sat there in silence.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: When I mentioned everything my cousin did to me in
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: the past, and told her that she did nothing about it,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: she got defensive. She said she tried everything that she could,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: but I really don't believe that. A couple days ago,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I went on a hike with my father, parents are divorced,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: and I told him the situation briefly. He decided to
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: give me the full rundown about my mother's family, which
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was a very long conversation, and he did not hold back.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: To no surprise, my father said that throughout the marriage
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: with my mother, she always chose her siblings and mother
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: over my father and her children. There were no boundaries
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: on my mother's side. Just imagining Opie's dad sitting there
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: with like a suit. He's like, let me tell you
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: another thing about your mother. God, she never took my side.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Always her sister's and her father's. Never my side.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: You were a baby genius. And you know what?
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: She looked at you and she said, I don't care,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: baby genius.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Yep. I don't care. You know what? Something you didn't
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: know about. She was gifted taxidermist. Never did anything with it.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Everyone was in everyone's business. He told me about the
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: bullying I received from my cousin from his perspective. To
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: be more specific, it started when I was one years old.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: And my cousin at the time was three years old.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: How did he find out? When my parents were still
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: living with my grandma, mom's mom, my cousin asked my
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: dad to allow her to go upstairs with me in
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: my bedroom alone. My dad didn't know about anything at
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: this point, so he allowed it. A three-year-old to go
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: alone with a one-year-old?
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, when are we ever letting any... child
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: that age just be alone?
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: It's because they're baby geniuses.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: That's actually crazy to be like.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, I will let this one-year-old be alone with a three-year-old.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, get a load of this guy. He's like, yeah, well,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: they'll look after each other.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: They'll be fine. Those scamps. My mother then started getting hysterical,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: and my grandmother told my father that it wouldn't be
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: a good idea for that to happen. He then asked, why?
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: She's only three years old. My grandmother told him that
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: my cousin would hate hit me and be violent towards me.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: They said it had been going on for months. The
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: reason why they did not tell my father was that
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't remember it and that they were just kids. What? What?
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Sorry?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: If I found that out, if I found out that
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: they had been letting that happen for months, I would
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: be going straight to the courthouse. I'd say, excuse me,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: your honor, I need full custody because they've been letting
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: this happen.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty crazy. But, like, it's also, like, not, like,
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: the craziest thing that, like, one kid is, like, looking
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: at the younger kid and being like, I don't like you.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: It's 100% something that could be, like, just, like, normally
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: grown out of. Very weird for them to be like,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: don't worry, we don't care. She won't even remember it.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: She's just a dumb little baby.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that's what... The problem is it doesn't
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: seem like they were correcting the behavior because it is
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: fairly normal for kids to be like, I don't understand how,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: you know, breakable this baby is.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: You've seen Lord of the Flies. Yeah.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: But the parents' job is to say, whoa, whoa, whoa there, scamp.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa there. We need to put this on pay-per-view.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: All right?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: We got a little champ in here. Put them in
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: the ring.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Don't give it away for free now.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: My father was furious and tried to do everything in
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: his power to protect me and my younger brother. Since
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: my brother was a newborn at this time, my father
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: did not know if they would go to him next.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Throughout the years, my brother didn't receive as much bullying
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: as I did. The lack of discipline that my aunt's
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: kids received when I was a kid made it easier
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: for my cousin to be nasty to me. My aunt
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: didn't do anything from what I heard, and my mother
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: didn't do anything either. My cousin also told my father
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: that she hated me, and she hated my existence when
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: she was five. My father's theory on why my cousin
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: was so hateful towards me was because she was the
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: first grand to be born for a while, since my
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: older two cousins are 20 years older than us. Because
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: my other aunt, not my cousin's mom, had them as
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: a teenager. Right after my cousin was born, her brother
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: was born, and then it was me. My aunt and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: my mother tried to make us like twins. Same outfit,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: same everything. My cousin did not like that because she
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: wanted all the attention to herself, which caused her to
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: start bullying me at a very young age. Any chance
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: my mom would get, she would bring me and my
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: brother to her side of the family. It didn't matter
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: where we were at, and I never really got to
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: know my father's side of the family that well because
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: of that. The part that hurt me the most was
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: not really knowing my dad's mom. My mother would always
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: limit contact with her on purpose because my mom didn't
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: like that there were other influences in my family that
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: weren't her family.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Your family sucks, though.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: They're influencing very badly. It hurts so much because all
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: the times I remember my grandma... She was always teaching
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: me how to fight and defend myself against my cousin.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Did you absorb any of that?
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: You're in baby fight club.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: That was going to be my, I was going to
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: be like, why? Why didn't anybody teach you like, all right,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: so you want to keep your hands high?
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Grandma's going, she goes, she goes, come here, Opie. Wax on,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: wax off, wax on, wax off. And Opie's like two
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: years old. She's like, wax off, wax off.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Left jab, right cross, switch stance, uppercut.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: OP at the barbecue with the big bag of ice
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: they've got for the drinks. She just goes, breaks them all.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: And then people look, all the ice are arranged exactly
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: in order from largest to smallest on the bar.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: All of the ice is individually cut.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Everyone starts crying. And then a halo appears. Yeah, everyone bows.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: The baby starts floating. I like today.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: She always taught me to hold my ground. I knew
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: she loved me with all her heart and I loved
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: her too. There were other things that my father mentioned
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: about the family, which I'm not going to go too
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: deep into because it's irrelevant. The main message I got
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: from all of this is to not break my boundaries
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: and to stay away from her and the rest of
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: my mother's family because they will turn on me.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: If your cousin turns on you, exposes their back, they're cooked.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: They're done.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: They're done.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Just a one chop. To the pressure points, they go down.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: Very easy, Opie. Break the wrist, walk away.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Just a one chop to the pressure points. One, one chop.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Opie continues, he told me it's not worth fighting my
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: mother about these things because she's delusional and she'll always
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: take the side of her siblings instead of her children.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: In my father's word, she's essentially made me and my
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: brother sacrificial lambs for the sake of the relationship with
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: her family instead of protecting her children. And let me
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: tell you another thing. She's made you guys sacrificial lambs.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: She puts you up on an altar every night and
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: she sacrifices.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: You to the gods. Y'all ever heard about the blood
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: of the lamb?
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Y'all ever heard of the silence of the lambs?
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: You ever heard about a little guy named Moses? Let
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: me tell you.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: OP continues, I'm going to keep my distance from my
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: family and keep working hard to save my money so
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I can move out of my mother's house. I understand
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: now that I cannot be around my mother's side of
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: the family at all. It would be a very unhealthy
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: environment for my future children and husband. I don't want
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: to make the same mistakes my mother made. I want
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: to be the best role model my family could have.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: And that is the end of the story, folks. Wow.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: We got another one coming right up, but, uh, I.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Mean, yeah, I guess at the end of the day.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Your mother kind of sucks.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: You know, you kind of lost an opportunity to become
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: the ultimate fighter.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you could have had something. You kind of peaked,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: It all went downhill.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, hey, don't let it get to you. You know,
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: we can only move forward. The only way forward is through.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: The only way through is forward.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: The only way through is forward.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: It kind of means the same thing.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: The only way through is under.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: That's true. Sometimes.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Sometimes that's true if you're under a bridge.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: the next one. I refused to stop helping my sister.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: It made my girlfriend upset.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I'll help her if I want to help her.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: My younger sister, 25, female, is working towards getting her
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: master's degree in New York. While she loves the city
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: and school, she hates how expensive everything has become. She
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: does work part-time, but it simply isn't enough. My parents, 77, male, female, 73,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: have been sending her money each month. But since they
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: recently retired, they've had to cut back. To fill the gap,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: my brother, male 28, and I, male 32, have begun
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: sending some money to our sister from time to time
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: to help with her rent. I have a well-paying job
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: and a close relationship with my sister, so I'm happy.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Happy to help where I can. However, my girlfriend, female 30,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: has expressed her dissatisfaction with the arrangement. We have been
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: saving up to put a down payment on a house
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: in the future, and my girlfriend believes that my financial
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: contributions to my sister is hindering our progress. Yesterday, which
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: happened to be the day I usually send my sister's money...
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Crazy coincidence, sure that didn't happen on purpose. Girlfriend told
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: me that we needed to reduce expenses and one suggestion
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: she made was for me to no longer send money
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: to my sister. She believes that my sister needs to
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: learn how to manage her money better and that my brother,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: male 28, should contribute more. I told her about how
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I feel a responsibility towards my sister and how my
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: brother doesn't make as much as I do. And while
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: she did acknowledge that she then said I was financially naive...
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: and said she doesn't want me to be taken advantage of.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I was kind of disappointed hearing this, as I made
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: the conscientious and conscious decision to help my sister and
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: wasn't falling for some sort of scam. And by the way,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: It comes from a deleted user. And if you want
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: okay story. I'm separate. What are you doing? I'm Dakota.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Go there. I'm Sophia.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon. Do whatever you want.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Do it.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: I won't force you to do anything.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: That's Dakota. That's Keon.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: That's Dakota. That's Keon. And I'm Sophia.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Do whatever you want within reason.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Um, well, if the within reason includes liking the stream.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do that. And also, you know, whatever. Tell us
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: what you think in the comments. We want to hear
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: what you think. You can hear what we think. And
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: let us know if you hate it or love it.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: But don't be mean.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: OP says, the conversation ended because we both had to
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: go to work. But she told me not to send
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: anything until we've further discussed this. During my lunch break
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: at work, I proceeded to send my sister some money
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: and told girlfriend about this over dinner. She told me
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: that she was disappointed. At this point, I was getting
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: a little annoyed and responded by saying I was not
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: willing to compromise on my current arrangement with my sister.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Girlfriend got upset with this and left the table. Am
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I the a-hole? Edit, I make $ 15, 500 a month and
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: have been putting away $ 4, 000 to $ 6, 000 each month towards
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: a future house. Girlfriend makes about $ 7, 000 a month currently
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: and saves about $ 1, 000 a month for the house. She
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: said she'll contribute more once her student loans are paid off.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: I pay for rent and utilities. Girlfriend pays for most
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: of the groceries. I started sending my sister $ 1, 500 a
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: month since my parents retired. Sister pays $ 2, 800 a month
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: in rent and $ 350 a month in transportation. I contribute $ 1, 500,
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: brother $ 750, and parents pay $ 500. Wait, reel that back. $ 2, 800?
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Does she live in New York? Probably.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay. Like, that's expensive.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Does she live in New York? Yes. Oh. Our mother
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: was terrified of sister living in New York City on
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: her own and only agreed if she lived in a
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: nicer area and had a car. It's mom's fault. Update!
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend and I had a long talk after work.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: It did not go well. To summarize, tensions escalated during
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: the conversation. I told her that I plan to continue
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: helping my sister until she completes her degree and and
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: afterward she would either start working or move back to
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: our parents' home until she finds a job. However, my
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: girlfriend expressed her belief that my sister and whole family
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: is manipulating me and thinks I'm naive enough to send
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: her money regardless of how she uses it. I started
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: to feel increasingly annoyed and defensive by her accusations and
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: asserted that it's my money and I have the right
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: to spend it as I see fit. I then stupidly
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: said that if she really wanted us to buy a house,
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: she should save more and cut back on expenses like
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: nice shoes, clothes, and purses.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: My dad just bought a house in the Philippines for
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: $ 13, 000 USD.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: Mean, if you went literally anywhere else, if you went
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: to Bali, y'all could buy a house. It's very cheap there.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: At this point, she became properly angry and declared that
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: she couldn't stay in the same house as me and
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: said that she would be going to her friend's house.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Before leaving, she said, call me when you stop thinking
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: like an effing idiot. Before I could even think, I replied,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I won't be calling. And I feel that may have
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: irreparably damaged our relationship. I don't know, bro. I end
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: it right there. She goes, I can't stay in the
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: same house as you. I go, well, then it looks,
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: I guess that this is over.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I've saved so much money from my house.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I won't need that much room anymore. Seeing as we've
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: been saving to buy one of those, I guess that
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: that's the end of that chapter. You should move in
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: with your sister.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: It's so fun.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Ooh, are you thinking condo? Are we moving into a condo?
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Are we buying a flat?
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Upper West Side?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we could get something nice in New York City.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Are we buying our own apartment in Tampa Bay, Florida?
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no. It's crazy that the girlfriend is being this entitled,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: and I don't think we should move in together.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Update two. I would like to express my thanks to
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: all of you for sharing your perspectives and insights. Your
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: input is truly appreciated. Following the fight with girlfriend, I
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: reached out to my brother to confide in him about
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: what happened. His take was pretty optimistic. However, he advised
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: me to stand firm in my position while also remaining
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: open to fully hearing out my girlfriend and considering the
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: possibility of reconciliation. He cautioned against contacting girlfriend's friend to
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: ask about her whereabouts as it may smell of desperation
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: and instead said that he would come over as he
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: lives about an hour away so he could spend some
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: time together over a movie and dinner. At this point,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I feel drained and numb. It has been a long day,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: and to be honest, I just won it over. Update three,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: my brother came by and bought dinner. We've been watching
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: The Dark Knight. I don't know why he chose that.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: What do you mean?
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: What do you mean? You know exactly.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know why he chose that one.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Not been seen as a good movie by anyone else,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: of course.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: It's not right. It's not the best Batman.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: You should watch I Am Legend. That's what I watched.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: It's not the best Batman, actually.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Dark Knight Rises.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: The Batman is the best Batman.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: The Batman 2.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Might also be good. I was debating or just going, Rachel!
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Christopher Nolan's second best movie. Still haven't heard from girlfriend
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: or her friend. For those wondering, I am a chemical
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: engineer and girlfriend has been paying about $ 2, 500 a month
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: to pay off her student loans. Update. Cuatro. Before I begin.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: I would like to thank everyone. Okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Yes, they really like the support. I'm sorry, OP.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Your words matter. I want to provide some additional context
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: about my relationship with my girlfriend. We started dating in
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: January of last year, officially becoming a couple by the
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: end of March, and she moved in with me in May.
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, oh, you officially became a couple in March and
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: she moved in right after that? This is where all
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: of your problems.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Are coming from.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: Making a lot of sense now.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: In hindsight, I must admit that the pace of our
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: relationship was driven by my infatuation rather than the development
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: of a deep connection. Her fun-loving nature and beauty had
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: an influence on me, causing me to overlook the misalignment
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: of our values. Regarding Girlfriend's relationship with my family and friends,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: she seemed to get along well with everyone. Although I
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: feel like she never may like my brother, my mother
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: made significant efforts to make Girlfriend feel welcome, likely due
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: to her desire for grandchildren. On the other hand, my
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: relationship with Girlfriend's friends and parents was different. I couldn't
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: help but feel that they saw girlfriend as being out
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: of my league for some reason. And some of her
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: friends even told me how lucky I should consider myself
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: to have girlfriend in my life. There were also other
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: warning signs that I chose to ignore, and I want
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: to share them now. Girlfriend wanted to impose restrictions on
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: how often I could visit my family throughout the year. Yikes!
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: That's a huge red flag. We didn't say, hey, stop that.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: What a beautiful kind of day.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: To see my family.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: To see my family today.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Did she like elaborate?
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: She's like, hey, don't see your family anymore.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: And you just went, oh, okay.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Did you want to do Thai tonight?
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: And I said, hey, I want Thai food today.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I don't need to see my family.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: Less than a month after moving in with me, just
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: three months after you started dating, she leased a BMW.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: contradicting your previous statements about wanting to pay off her
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: student loans quickly. At the time, I found it strange,
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: but didn't raise any objections, thinking that Girlfriend deserved to
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: treat herself after years of schooling. Over the following month,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: she continued splurging on expensive clothes, shoes, purses, coats, and more.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: Looking back, I doubt she was completely honest about how
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: she was managing her student loan payments. Girlfriend... regularly urged
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: me to distance myself from some of my friends, citing
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: reasons like them being bad influences or me spending too
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: much time with them. When I mentioned that her friends
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: didn't seem to think highly of me, she shrugged it off,
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: claiming they only wanted what was best for her. Fast
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: forward to today. As most people recommended, I kept my
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: word and didn't call girlfriend. Instead, early this morning, around
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: 5 a.m., She texted me suggesting that we meet at
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: a local cafe to discuss our future. I replied with
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: a simple, sure, sure. The atmosphere felt tense, but we
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: did exchange brief Kurt greetings. Sup, Kurt? How'd you say
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: hi to Kurt this week? Let's exchange Kurt greetings. Before
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: we drove straight into the conversation, she began by expressing
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: her hurt over my failure to call her repeatedly emphasizing
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: that I needed to be reasonable and prioritize our relationship
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: above all else. I noticed her consistent use of the
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: word you instead of us or we. When I pointed
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: this out, she claimed that her initiating this meeting was
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: proof of her commitment and that if I were truly committed,
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: I would have called her the moment she left. At
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: that moment, I chose to remain silent, and I believe
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: she interpreted my silence as her winning the argument. She
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: then shifted the conversation to finances, bluntly stating that our
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: best course of action was to ensure neither of us
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: carried any debt. According to her, the only way to
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: achieve this was with me, to start paying some of
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: her loans. I insisted that this shouldn't interfere with my
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: agreement to support my sister if I did agree to
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: pay her loans, but girlfriend asserted that it would impede
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: our progress as a couple. I argued that supporting my
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: family and progressing in our relationship should not be mutually exclusive.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: In response, girlfriend declared that if we were both serious,
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: I needed to make her center focus. You know what
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: this is? This is just a woman who turned 30
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: and like panicked. She's like, shoot, shoot, shoot. She's 30
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: now and she's like, oh my God. I need to
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: lock down my husband. You make $ 15, 000 a month.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: Great. Okay.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: No more family. No more friends. Give me your money.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Pay off my debts.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: She's not to do another I am legend thing, but
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: like she's closing all of the blinds, locking down the windows.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: She's got those lights that blow up people.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: She's got the light. She's got the.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Lights that make all the people, all the zombies run away.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: She woke up like that meme of Squidward's eyes one day.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: She just.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: She woke up in a cold sweat.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: She went, no. Don't stop talking to your sister.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: You can't see her anymore. I need them to break up.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Let's find out. She then added that even if she
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: did agree to allow me to continue supporting my sister,
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: it wouldn't end there as these things never do. With this,
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: she began inquiring about my parents, pointing out their advanced
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: age and suggesting that we throw them into the sea. No,
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: she suggested that they would soon require regular support. And
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: without hesitation, I firmly reiterated my stances that if my
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: parents ever needed any form of assistance, I would give
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: it to them and not turn them into chum and
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: throw them in the ocean.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Reasonable.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: I would not hesitate to offer it. She followed up
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: by asking, even if they wanted to live with you?
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: To which I replied, yes.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: She went, checkmate, liberal, even if they want to live
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: with you?
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: She has the audacity to ask that question. She's like,
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: that's a good one. That'll get them.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: She's like, would you rather take care of your parents,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: but they have to live with you, or throw them
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: into the sea?
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Think carefully.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: Survey says there is.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: A correct answer.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: What do you think?
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: I love seafood. She pressed further, asking, even if I
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: said they can't? Once again, I responded, yes. At that moment,
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: girlfriend stood up saying that she was disappointed to see
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: what kind of person I've become. You've known him for
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: a year.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: You've known him for a year.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: You don't even know what person he used to be.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Have they? Did they?
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: You've known him for a year. Get out of here.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Get out of town.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: If even that.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: If even a year.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: I think that's like overshooting it.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: You've maybe known him for six months. Get out of town.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: Honestly, this girl... She's not playing the long game really well.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: No, she's playing the short game and she's playing it badly.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: No, she's playing the I turned 30 and now my
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: eyes look like Squidward's.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I don't have time.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: And you make $ 15, 000. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man with
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: that money. She also said how she and her friends
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: had always sensed there was something off about me. In response,
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: I stated, if you believed that, you shouldn't have moved in.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: And she was unable to offer a retort to that. Oh, gotcha. Um,
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: excuse me. If you truly believe that, you were erroneous
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: in your decision to move in with me. She went, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: we're up we're coming up on the end of this
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: story here.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: We sure are finish her off take her home bring
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: her in.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: She then began making remarks about how it was only
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: a matter of time before i would beg her to
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: take me back.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: She really thinks wow there's I got you wrapped around
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: my finger.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I firmly told her that the only thing I would
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: be asking was for her to take her belongings and
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: return my keys. A classy move. She tossed the keys
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: at me before making several comments asserting that she didn't
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: need me and that I had wasted her time and
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: how I greatly disappointed her. I said, I'm sorry you
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: feel that way, but I'm no longer obligated to listen
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: to you complain. And with that, she stormed off. About
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: an hour later, I got a text from one of
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: her friends saying that they were coming without girlfriend tomorrow
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: to get her stuff. I'm hoping that once they do,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: I can put this whole thing behind me.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: We've done it, folks. We've done it. We put it
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: all behind us.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: We did it. We did it.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Good.
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: Never come back. Take your things and go. You are
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: the weakest link.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Goodbye.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Take your chair and go.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: And we're going to get back to the stories. But
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I deactivated my niece's social media because she refused to
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: do a safety course.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: What are you, the government of Australia?
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: I have custody of my sister's daughter, a 13 year old.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: She became old enough for social media a few months ago.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I let her create profiles on her birthday. I said
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: the condition was that she make her accounts private and
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: only accept follow friend requests from people she knows. She
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: showed me her accounts, which were set to private, so
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I believed her. I also followed her so I could
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: see what she was posting, which she agreed to. A
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: couple weeks ago, I decided to check her profile, as
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: I hadn't seen one of her posts in a while,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: despite her being on there all the time. It's public,
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: not private, so she changed her settings. and I'm no
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: longer following her. I'm assuming I was soft-blocked, as I
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: can still see her profile. However, the part that concerned
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: me was her bio. She has her full date of birth,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: full name, town name, ethnicity, other info about her, and
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: photos of her and her friends in their school uniforms
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: with the school crest visible. By the way, this comes
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: from Deleted, and if you want to submit your own stories,
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I'm Dakota.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I told her why this was a problem, but she
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: responded that it wasn't a problem.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: No, it's not a problem.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Done deal.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: The 13-year-old told us that it wasn't a problem. Super good.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: I told her she has two options. Take an internet
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: safety course or delete and deactivate all our profiles. She
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: chose the first option. I paid for a short course,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: an estimated four hours to complete. It took a couple days,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: at which point she told me she'd taken the course
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: and passed with flying colors, even showing me the certificate
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: that said she passed. I gave it a day, checked
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: her profile, and it was the exact same, except I
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: was blocked and had to go on incognito to check it.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: I also checked the course website, and it said that you,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: as in the user, spent 17 minutes on the course.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: That was the last straw. So I told her to
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: delete slash deactivate everything, and I put software on the PC,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: which I've used to block social media. I can't do
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: much about apps on her phone, but it's something. She's
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: told my mother what I've done, and my mom is outraged.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Says I had no right to take away her social media,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: that I should reinstate it, and apologize for being paranoid
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: and controlling, and let her make her own choices about
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: her personal safety. F.
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: 13 and that is the second most idiotic thing we've
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: heard in this story what i have no right as
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: this child's guardian.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know i think this is maybe a scared
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: straight moment you know yeah like i think you need
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: to like get like a make a fake profile your
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: own of like some creepy man yeah being like i'm
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: gonna come visit you at your school i know that
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: you have x class at x time And then she'll
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, and it'll be like, yeah, that's that's
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: what could happen. Because why do you have this profile public?
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: That is like that's a it's like a somewhat morally
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: ambiguous thing to do.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: But I think I actually agree with you.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: Well, she's not going to do it any other way.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: The only other way you might be able to do
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: it is if you become so obsessed with your own
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: social media that she's like, ew, gross.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: Like, why?
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: You embarrass her. I said she's 13 with no concept
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: of Internet safety. She can have social media back when
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: she understands how any aspect of online safety works. My
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: mother feels this is unreasonable and that I have moved
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: the goalposts as she completed the course like I asked.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: But there's no way she completed a four-hour course in
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: less than 20 minutes.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: Quizzer.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: Quizzer.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: It's crazy that your mom is also, like, your mom
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: sounds like someone who gets scammed with a phishing email. Yeah. Like.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, it gets worse. Mom says she's 13, not a
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: little kid, and I need to trust that she knows
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: what she's doing.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: She doesn't.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: She doesn't know what she's doing.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: She doesn't. She fully doxxed herself in her profile.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I said she has to earn that trust first, and
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: my mom accused me of moving the goalposts and said
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: her completing the course should have earned that trust.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: Which she didn't do.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: She did not do that. Am I the a-hole for
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: not letting her off social media? And we do have
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: an edit. No! I don't even think she should have
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: a phone anymore, honestly. Give her a flip phone.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: Here's the big... thing is is it doesn't make you
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: the a-hole but i don't think you're gonna find this
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: ineffective means of changing your behavior.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah i honestly think you have to give her a
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: flip phone i think she'll find some sort of workaround
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: if you let her keep her phone because i did
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: my parents would like hide my phone you know this
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: was in high school because i didn't get a phone
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: until high school but i would spend time on my
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: phone and then they would hide like my electronics because
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: they didn't want me to use them and i knew
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: where all the hiding spots were i they could not
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: hide it from.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: Me Yeah, this kid's just going to become better at
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: being sneaky if you keep doing this.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Like my mom wouldn't give us the Netflix passwords and
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: Sam and I would figure them out. You're pretty crafty
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: when you're a kid.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Like it's not even that the social media is inherently
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: evil for her. I don't know. It's just, I wouldn't
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: want my kid on it. My whole mission would be
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: to make my kid think that this flip phone is
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: actually the coolest thing. And that rejecting this thing that
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: everyone else does is actually the cool thing to do.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: It's so cool to have a flip phone.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like, and honestly, if you have no social
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: media and you don't care about being online, that is cool.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: It's pretty cool. To be clear, this is more about
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: my conflict with my mother and her accusations of me
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: being controlling. I don't expect anyone to call a 13-year-old
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: an a-hole. Also, to clarify a few things, I'm a woman.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: My niece's mother is my older sister. My sister and
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: my niece's father are both uninvolved in her life, which
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: is why I have sole custody and have legally adopted her.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: The mother I mentioned above is my mother, who is
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: also my niece's grandmother. And we do have an update,
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: but again, you are her legal guardian. Your mom has
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: no right to tell you what to do with your child.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if your mom is trying to say a 13-year-old
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: is old enough to make the decision to put all
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: of their personal information on a public profile where any
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: creep could see it, your mom's an idiot. And you
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: just tell her, okay, silly little goose.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: Update, it's been a few days. I read through every
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: comment on my original post and saw all your feedback,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: particularly the parts about my niece being unlikely to trust
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: me after this. I sat my niece down one final time.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I talked to her again about all the information she
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: wanted to add, tried to explain again why it was
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: a bad idea to put her full name, her date
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: of birth, location, and whatever else online, and she still
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: did not believe that it could be dangerous. So I
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: asked her what information she wanted to put exactly. She
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: told me.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: I googled it.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: The entire first page of results was all about her,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: or my sister, her mother, or me. It showed her
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: school website, as she's mentioned in the newsletter. Her full
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: name also brought up her personal phone number and a
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: website for details of the adoption. I then showed her
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: what was linked with my name, despite my very careful
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: social media presence. The results included a background check website
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: that listed all my former names, my number, my address,
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: where we currently live, and more behind a paywall. She
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: now completely understands what I was trying to tell her.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: Nice. Right. See, that's what I meant, where it's like, yeah,
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: that's the strategy that's going to get her to change,
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: not just being like, you can't have this.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: We worked out a new deal. Good job, OP. I
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: think that is almost better. I think your scared straight
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: thing would have probably worked too.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I guess you didn't need to go that far.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I think your way was the best way rather than
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: just taking her phone or anything because, again, she would
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: have found a way somehow. And she still wouldn't have
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: believed you. And this way she believes you and understands.
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Good job. And your mom's stupid. She's allowed social media,
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: but instead of all the information she wanted to add,
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: she's only added her star sign and that she's a minor.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: She can give a location, but it has to be
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: our county, not our town. Her profile will be on private,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: and she can only link up with people she knows
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: in real life. I will follow her from a fake
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: account so her friends don't see her aunt on her
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: friends list. These restrictions will lessen in due time. If
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: she does anything to screw it up, it all gets
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: deactivated again, and we won't even revisit the topic of
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: social media until she's 15. As for my mother, I
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: called her and told her to back off. I said
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: that I have custody of my niece, so I make
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: the decisions, and my mom doesn't get to make that
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: harder for me. that if she really thought my niece
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: putting her full name, date of birth, location online was safe,
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: she's an idiot. And it pisses me off that the
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: only times I hear from her is so that she
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: can tell me that I'm doing something wrong. When she
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: herself was given the chance to adopt my niece, she refused.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: My mom essentially said that she can't believe I treat
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: her like this and I shouldn't expect to hear from
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: her for a while. I didn't expect to hear from
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: you before. We've just established that you never call me.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: You only call me when you tell me I'm wrong.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: So yeah, no, I won't expect to hear from you. Oh,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: your mom's so stupid.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I would just love to hear her rationalize why a
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: 13-year-old is like a fully formed person capable of making
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: all of their own decisions. And I'm not saying that
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: they can't, because that is the kind of traditional age where, okay,
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: you kind of start giving your kid like more freedom
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: and like more decision-making, but like they can't just make
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: the decision to blast all of their private information online.
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: You're still their parent. You still have to say, Hey, Hey,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: you went a little too far there. Let me reel
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: you back in.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: It's like, she's 13. She can decide to rob the
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: bank a la the dark night. If she wants to, okay?
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: If she wants to. She's 13.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: If she can get eight criminals together with clown masks
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: and convince them all to take each other out.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: Then I'm honestly impressed.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: She's an entrepreneur.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like this grandma is kind of the
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: type that posts just every piece of information about her grandkids.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: She's like, oh, look at my little grandbaby picture. They're
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: this many years old and they live here and I'm
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: so proud of them.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Of them. Full legal name is blank, blankety blank. Birthday,
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: blankety blank.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, on their public account.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: Social security number, blankety blank, blankety blank.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm so proud of them. Don't do that. But
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: that's the end of that story, and we got another
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: one coming right up.
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: My daughter accused me of loving her sister more, and
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: it had been building for years.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: Well, that's just not true.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: I have two daughters, Lena, 13, and Zoe, 17. For
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: their schooling, I've always encouraged them to try rather than
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: caring about grades. I've always found work ethic, resilience, and
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: responsibility to be more important than smarts alone, so I
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: would say that was what I always focused on. School
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: is properly back this year, so my wife and I
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: decided to reward them if they did well. I would
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: say the expectations were clear and about them behaving well
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: rather than grades. And since people seem to not be understanding,
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: quick edit, The reward was contingent on good behavior. Doing
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: well referred to the effort. See my next sentence explaining
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: my expectations. They were about behaving. I never changed the
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: basis of reward. The girls' semester report came out yesterday.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: While the main focus is academics, each subject also grades
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: and comments on behavior in class. Lena got mostly Cs,
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: but she struggles with school, so that's an achievement for her.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: Her teachers all graded her behavior as perfect and mentioned
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: how she was clearly trying and everything. Zoe, to put
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: it very crudely, basically had all but one of her
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: teachers saying she's extremely smart, almost straight A's, but a
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: complete a-hole and a problem in class. So in my opinion,
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Lena should be rewarded, but not Zoe. By the way,
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: this comes from Am I the A-hole? Report dad. And
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: We're here to read this story and give our good
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers to everything.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: We only know what we know, so let us know
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: what you know in the comments. Opie says, Still that night,
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: we took them both out and celebrated finishing the semester.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: We did say we were proud of them and everything,
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: but today I talked to Zoe about what her teacher said.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: She says it's not her fault her teachers suck and
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: are boring, which may be true, but she still can't
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: be rude or distract others. Zoe really wasn't happy about
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: the discussion and got upset when I told her she
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: wouldn't be rewarded. She basically thought her grades should mean
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: it's fine and that I'm punishing her when it's not
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: her fault. I decided to leave the discussion for later,
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: when she was calmer, but I made it clear that
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: while I'm disappointed in her acting up, I do still
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: love her and am proud of her doing well, score-wise.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: By this evening, it seemed to have calmed, but Zoe
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: overheard Lena talking to my wife about deciding on her
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: reward and got angry again. She said it's unfair that
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Lena's getting rewarded for bad grades, but she gets nothing
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: for A's. tried to take her aside and talk to her,
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: explaining it wasn't about the grade, but she didn't take
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: it well and claims that we love Lena more and
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: are favoring her. That it's unfair that she has such
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: lower standards to meet, but that's not the case. How
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: is she not getting it when you're just like, those
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: aren't the standards that we're judging by?
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: We've got high standards for your behavior and you're not
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: meeting them.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: My wife feels bad and changed her mind and thinks
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: maybe we should reward her with something since she did
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: so well academically. And it was a struggle to adjust
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: given everything, but I don't think we should reward her
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: for misbehaving. Even if she scores well, if she acts up,
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: it could harm other students. I know what happened back
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: when I was in school. I have not changed my
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: mind and don't think it's wrong, but my wife clearly
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: thinks it's an a-hole move. So am I the a-hole here?
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: And there is an update. No, no.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: And I think it'd be even worse if you let
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: her think, oh, if you just complain enough, you get
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: what you want. She's 17. She's 17. She's too old.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: Like we're literally right at the cusp of where you
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: get to parent and assert your control here and try
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: and help her in the real world. Or prepare her
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: for the real world. And you got to do it
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I think it skirts... I think there
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: is a point to his wife's take that we should
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: do something.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: For her academics. Because it's like she's 17. They all
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: went out.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: They all went out.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: They all celebrated.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: There should be something. But I think it needs to
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: be like... You need to frame it in a way
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: where it's like, okay... Let's let's let's form your argument
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: for like it present to me why you do deserve
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: an award despite all of these things about your behavior.
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: What can you present to me to show me that
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: that's going to be something you focus on like in
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: the future? Now that there's a clear cut and dry understanding,
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: like I don't really care about your grades. I know
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: you're really smart. I know you can get A's. I
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: just care that you're trying and you're and you're not,
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: you know. a problem for all your other classmates. Yeah.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: Like really pointing out that she needs to improve on this.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Cause like, yeah, just complaining about something over and over again,
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily make it happen. But like, also if something
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: is bothering you and you don't point it out with
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: like a well thought out argument, like nothing's going to change.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: And also maybe she's in the wrong classes, you know,
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: sometimes if you're in a class that you're just like, totally,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: usually this is for younger kids and, If you feel
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: very understimulated, you tend to act out more. But obviously
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: she's a little too old to get away with that.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, give her a chance. Be like
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: the way that you got just got upset and got mad.
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: That's not how you get what you want. You got
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: to you got to be like, hey, OK, what about
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: this update? I struggled to understand it at first and
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: did not expect the level of vitriol and personal attacks.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: While a minority, I unfortunately got bothered by all the
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: attacks and especially the few who insulted Lena. I slept
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: on it and realized a lot of the rest was
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: good advice and that I made a mistake in how
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: I handled Zoe. The next day, I got Zoe to
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: join me on my walk and we talked. I apologized
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: for not realizing how unfair it was. I did reassure
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: her I loved her and it wasn't about playing favorites.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: And while I never had A's, I did coast through school.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: And it came to bite me hard later in life,
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: and I was worried about it happening to Zoe.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: I don't think you really made a mistake, but I
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: do think it's good to talk to her. But I
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: don't really think that was fully a mistake.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: But it still wasn't fair, even if I didn't mean
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: it that way. From what Zoe said, it was a
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: bit like most were saying, that she's bored. She basically
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: said she learns better from the textbooks than most of
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: her teachers. She did admit she can be rude to them,
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: but said it's because they clearly don't like her.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: Probably because she's rude to them.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. She's like, well.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: I'm rude to them because they don't like me because
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: I'm rude to them.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: It's the unending cycle, right? Yep. And like, again, it's like,
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: that's exactly what OP is talking about. Yeah. Because you
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: can be a genius. And when you go out into
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: the world and you have a job and you get
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: a boss and you're like, this freaking idiot doesn't know
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: what he's talking about. Guess what's going to happen? You're
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: going to get fired, right?
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like you have to know how to get along
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: with people, even when you're bored, which she will be.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: She's got to be bored and think that she's doing
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: stupid work, even if she's at a job for really
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: smart people.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: For the favoritism, she just basically said, I'm always helping
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Lena and proud of her, but I'm never proud of Zoe.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: And I tried to explain that I am proud of her.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: And the helping is because literally every time I try,
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: she just says it's fine and says she doesn't need
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: any help. I think it all went well, and she
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: understands that I love her even if I messed up.
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: Hopefully she can use her words a bit more, but
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: I'll definitely try to be more persistent in the future.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: I plan to talk to her school as soon as possible,
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: though I don't know when. they'll respond, given it's holidays.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: For the reward, they're both getting one. Zoe still has
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: not decided what, but she has until next week to
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: figure it out. And as an aside, I think our
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: system may be different. From what I understand, depending on
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: the subject, it's difficult for teachers to simply teach her
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: more advanced stuff because she simply won't get anything out
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: of it in terms of marks. I'll definitely try to
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: work it out with the school, but it's unfortunately too
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: late to really transfer her to another. Selective schools won't accept,
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: and the private ones here aren't exactly good enough to
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: justify uprooting in year 11. We're coming up on the end.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: You know, I really would have liked you to see,
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: you know, I would have liked to see you explaining
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: the difference between Zoe and Lena.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like OP got so caught up in
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: everyone in the comments saying, you made a mistake, you're
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: the a-hole. that he kind of forgot why he was
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: doing that.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: Well, I do agree that there was a mistake made,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: but I don't think the mistake was in the, you know, the, the,
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: the reason, the outline that you had of like why
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: this was happening. I think what you were doing around
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: it was like, cause once your kids start saying stuff
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: like you like her better than me, it's like, okay,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: this isn't just about the grades anymore. This is like
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: a bigger issue. And it's like, okay, the reason that
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: we're helping her is she needs more help than you do.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: And it doesn't mean that we love her more. And
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: it's like, we told you from the beginning, it wasn't
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: about the grades. You had bad behavioral marks. And that's
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: why we weren't going to give you a reward. But
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: if you can show me an argument to where it's
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: like your good grades and a renewed commitment to improving
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: your behavior deserves a reward. We can, we can discuss that.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: I think that would be a way better way to
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: handle it than just being like, okay, you can have
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: a reward now. Cause your grades were good.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: And it's like, no, it's like, no, but.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: That wasn't the reasoning. You told us what the reason,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think, I think it feels like
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: OP just got a little bit worried that all the
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: Reddit comments were right. But I think that there was
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: a kind of a middle, you know, a little compromise
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: of those two ideas that could have been made.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: Further, I don't know how grades work elsewhere, but a
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: C is not fail or borderline, so please stop insulting Lena.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: I messed up, but that gives no one the right
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: to attack her. Between prep to year 10, a C
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: means understanding everything expected. Lena's grades were all high Cs
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: at level half a year ahead, or Bs, which is
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: literally meeting or exceeding expectations. Anyways, to apologize to Zoe,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: I had a day out, just me and her, where
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: we did whatever she wanted. It was a great day,
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: and I really enjoyed it, and I think she did too.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: She even told me she loves me, and she's not
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: the type to say that kind of thing very much.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: Even if some don't believe it, I really do love her.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: I never thought that you didn't. Who's in the comments
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: saying you don't love your daughter?
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you just gotta block out a lot of the noise.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: But no, it was more than fair, you know?
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I still honestly think that you were closer to
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: the answer earlier. the first time around, but I'm glad
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: that you had a good conversation.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: With your daughter. It's like, like, does she even understand
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: like why you care more about the behavioral marks?
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: Because it's like, we get it. You are smart. You
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: need to know how to get along because if you
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: can't do that, no one's going to want to work
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: with you. And that's literally the entire reason we as
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: a species are, have succeeded so well.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: Collaboration.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, we collaborate. We share. And if you're such an a-hole,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: no one wants to collaborate with you, good luck doing
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: everything by yourself.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think she is just too old for
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: this lesson to not be imminently important.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially in a world where just like the marks,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: the grades... are so emphasized. It's like, well, if you're smart,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: nothing else matters.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: It's not true.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: It's like if you don't know how to get along
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: with people, I mean.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: They won't hire you.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: It's been like that forever. Yeah. And there's a very
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: small percentage of extremely gifted and talented people who can
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: transcend that. Yes.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: Life is 95% a popularity contest. And if people don't
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: like you, it's really hard.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's harder for sure. But that's enough of that.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: Good luck.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: Good luck.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: the next one.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: My stepdad convinced my mother I didn't need her and
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: she believed him for years.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: What a convincing guy.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: So I, 21 female, am currently in university and living
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: in a dorm using my own money and everything. My mom,
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: 40 female, had me when she was 19. My dad
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: joined the military to provide and so he was gone
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: most of the time. My parents split up when I
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: was young and my mom and I moved across the country.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: My mom started dating again when I was a teenager
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: and it was like I became invisible. When she married Gregory,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: 50 male, it became even more different. I grew really
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: resentful when my mom had a new baby and I'll
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: admit that it wasn't healthy and neither was my attitude.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: When the time for university came, I got a good
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: enough scholarship and moved out. I'm honestly surprised they noticed
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: I was even gone. I've gotten two texts from my
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: mom a year. Happy birthday and happy new year. Not
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: even a Merry Christmas? Damn. Only this year did I
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: get a third text, and that was just to announce
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: that I have a new baby sister. By the way,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: this comes from the Anubis Prophet. And if you want
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: I'm Dakota.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: And OP says, So, I got an email the other
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: day that was pretty much an invite to a Christmas
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: dinner they were hosting. And it seems like a lot
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: of extended family are going to be there. I don't
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: want to be there, so I declined the invite. Yesterday,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: I got a phone call from my mom crying about
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: me deciding not to come to the dinner and really
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: wanting to see me. Then Gregory took the phone and
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: all but called me an a-hole while scolding me. It's
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: made me feel a little bad because she's still my
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: mom and I feel like I should just go for
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: her sake. Am I the a-hole? And we do have
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: an update. But what do you think?
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know, man. Like, it's kind of like one
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: of those things where you might maybe be in your
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: own way a little bit because you're like, oh, I
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: want this. My parents don't, my mom doesn't care about me. And,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: you know, now she's like wanting me to come to
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: this thing. And I'm like, you know, it's like, well,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: just go. Is that what you want? Do you want to,
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: do you want that? And talk to her.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: I think there's a little fear of, oh, well, is
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: this just going to go away? You know, why would
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: I go to something? That might not give me what
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: I want or will give me what I want. And
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: then I get it taken away. So I think there's
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: a level of fear coming into play. Update. So my
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: mom's Christmas party came and went this past Friday. And
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: I'd figure I'm making an update. Like I thought my
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: mom phoned me back because my grandma made her. She
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: asked to meet me in person, but I said I
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: didn't feel comfortable. She said she could bring Gregory or
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: grandma if it would help. I said heck no to Gregory.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: which surprised her. But I did agree to grandma. I
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: feel like your mom just doesn't pay attention, hasn't paid
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: attention to anything in your life. She's like, wait, what?
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: You don't like Gregory?
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: Since when?
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: But he's my husband. Shouldn't you like him?
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: After some snow issues, we met in a coffee shop
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: with grandma claiming she would be a mediator. I looked
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: at my post to see your guys' advice to guide
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: me before I left. I admitted to mom that I
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: didn't want to see her, but I thought that this
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: would clear the air. I asked why there were barely
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: only two texts a year. And she said Gregory told
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: her college kids didn't need their moms and that she
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: would be interfering. I asked why she couldn't at least
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: phone me to invite me. She said Gregory told her
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: that sending an Evite made me on the same level
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: as the other relatives and that I would like being respected.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: That made no sense to me. So I got mad.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, also, yeah, I'd be mad because I'd
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: be like, what? What does Gregory know? Why didn't you
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: just ask me how much I would like to communicate
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: with you? Gregory this. Just is the biggest cop out
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: of all time.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: Literally, it's like, oh, well, Gregory said, does Gregory have kids?
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: She told me, seeing how Gregory treated their kids made
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: her realize she'd neglected me. Not a good sign. Not
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: a good sign to realize in your husband or in you,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: I suppose.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: Well, I think maybe it might not be like, gregory's
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: neglecting the kids i think she's seeing i think she's
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: seeing gregory not neglecting the kids and being like oh
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: shoot oh shoot she was 19 true so you know ouch.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: She'd been going to therapy and wanted us to mend
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: things i pointed out that listening to gregory about me
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: back then was the dumbest possible thing she could do
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: since he never liked me i knew i'd start crying
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: so i started ranting about how i'd rather not meet
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: my half-siblings since I know I resent them and they
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: don't deserve that. How my extended family also cast me
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: out and how everyone blamed therapy not working on me.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: My mom was shocked and even more shocked when grandma
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: took my side and everything. I told her I was
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: really sorry that I made her cry and that it
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: didn't make me feel better. She forgave me for that,
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: but told me it wasn't my fault and that she
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: deserved it. My mom asked if I'd ever come home
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: and I said that Gregory would either need to apologize
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: or no longer be alive. That was a bit harsh,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: since I don't actually want that. So I said if
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: he leaves forever, that's good too.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just a simple leaving permanently.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like, I don't know. It's a little harsh
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: to say, oh, I wish you were unalived. But, you know,
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: he could also just never come back.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he could just disappear.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: My mom said she understood, started crying, apologized like a
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: hundred times, and asked if she could text or phone
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: me more often. I said, sure, because it still makes
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: me feel awful to see my mom cry. Since then,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: mom has texted me and called me every day. but
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: hasn't tried to force things. I did not go to
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: the party since Gregory has not apologized. Grandma's been staying
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: with them and things aren't too good between them. They
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: had big fights over him refusing to say sorry and
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: over how they treated me, and now they aren't talking.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: I don't want my mom's marriage to end for the
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: sake of her other kids, but I can't lie, it
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: feels good to not be ignored. Apparently mom wants to
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: meet on Christmas or Christmas Eve as long as grandma
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: comes a letter. But I don't know if we'll ever
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: be close again. So thank you guys. Your advice really
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: did help. And I'm feeling better mentally. And we do
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: have a second update.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: Hooray!
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: I think this is going in a good direction. We're
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: getting all of these things off our chest.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You got to talk it out.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: Talk it out. Talk it out. We just found there
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: was so much miscommunication happening. Update two. So I did
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: meet with my mom and grandma came to us per
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: instructions for lunch. We didn't talk about Gregory or anything.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: It was just a short meeting over coffee. We just
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: talked about school, the engineering program I'm in, guys I've dated,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: and other stuff. I guess it was nice to talk
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: about myself, even if it was awkward.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: When things bother you with people in your life you
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: care about, you should talk about it. That's it.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, because maybe there's just this two-year-long misunderstanding that we
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: just need to get out into the open and resolve it.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: OP continues, she did ask me to spend more time
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: with Grandma, and that made Grandma smirk, which means Grandma
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: kept her promise about never revealing that we hang out.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: I paid for Mom as a gift, and she gave
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: me an old baby photo of me that she got
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: redeveloped as a gift. I thought that was nice. I
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: let her hug me goodbye, and she didn't cry this time,
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: so I don't feel like crap. It still feels weird,
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: and I know it will for a long time, maybe forever.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: It's hard letting go of hurt, but it is what
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: it is. Hope you guys have a good Christmas. And
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: that's the end of the story.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: It is what it is is Buddha level.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: It is what it is. It is what it is.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: You know, and that doesn't mean we can't influence our,
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: you know, reality in our existence. But yeah, sometimes it
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: is what it is. Feels real good.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story. And we've got
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: another one coming right up.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: And we're going to get back to the stories. But
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: My daughter went behind my back to a sleepover after
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: I told her to wait a few weeks.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: You're going to stay awake forever.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: My daughter, Alexis, not real name, is 15. She's been
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: dancing recreationally since she was three years old and has
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: been doing it competitively since she was nine. She has
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: nationals coming up, which is basically a very big and
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: important dance competition where studios from surrounding states come to
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: this big convention center in the city and compete. She
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: is also obsessed with Paramore, thanks to my husband, who
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: has taken her to many of their live shows.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: She idolizes Hayley Williams and has wanted to dye her
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: hair like Hayley's for a few years now. This year
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: for her birthday, she wants to dye her whole head
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: neon orange. I told her absolutely not because she's not
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: allowed to have any unnatural hair colors for nationals and
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: the other conventions and competitions that are coming up. She
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: is very well aware of this rule because it is
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: the standard in the competitive dance world. I've already paid
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: all the entry fees and cannot get a refund for
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: this year. I told her once nationals and all the
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: mandatory conventions are over, she can color her hair however
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: she wants. She did not like this answer and stomped
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: off to her room. I figured I would just let
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: her be and eventually she would come around. I was wrong.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from User ThenImagination683. If you
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: slash OKStoryTime server at it. I'm Dakota.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: We're going to read this story about dance.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 3: Dance.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: Which you can do if you want to. And just
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: know we don't know all the answers. So let us
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: know what you know in the comments.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: But you have to leave your friends behind.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: It's true. OP says... She went to a sleepover at
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: her friend's house about a week ago and came back
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: with the same bright orange hair I told her she
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: could not have.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: TBH, I'm asking the mom. I'm like, hey, hey, my
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: kid came home with orange hair. What happened?
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what is that?
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what's happening? Hey, parents, did you... What happened?
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: Honestly, you fumbled immediately by not just being like, we'll
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: get you a wig. Yeah.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: I also think that she maybe is... no longer wanting
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: to do dance competitions.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: Could be.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: And this is the easiest way to get out of that.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: It's true. Could be. I was cooking when she walked
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: into the house and nearly dropped the knife I was using.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, don't do that. Knife safety.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: I was extremely upset and asked her what she was thinking.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: She gave me some excuse, which I can't remember, then
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: rolled her eyes and said something along the lines of,
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: it's just hair dye. It'll come out before nationals.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: It's not typically how hair dye works.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: I guess it depends, right? There's temporary stuff.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, if she put temporary stuff in it. But
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: that's usually, I feel like they would have said, she
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: would have been like, oh, it's just temporary.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: I wash it out.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: I was livid, and I shouted at her, which I'll
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: admit I'm not proud of, and she ran off to
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: her room in tears. She knows better, and I'm completely
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: dumbfounded as to why she thought it would be okay
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: considering Nationals is in two weeks. She's washed her hair
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 2: at least six times the last few days. And the
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 2: orange is still stuck.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: What did she think was going to happen?
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: She just didn't know hair dye is permanent, I guess.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like, what?
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: What? She's like, I thought Haley did this every day.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: I thought it was, yeah, I thought it was like
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: we refresh every week and it all comes out every
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: time you wash your hair. Uh-oh.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: I bought color remover and let it sit on her
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: hair for a good two hours and nothing happened. Now
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to take her to the salon
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: and spend $ 300 or more to get the color removed
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: when I'm already over 400 deep in the hole after
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: the fees for the competition. My daughter is currently grounded,
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: still upset with me, and hasn't spoken more than a
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: few words to me in days. She cried to my
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: husband after I shouted at her, and now he thinks
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: I'm being unreasonable and called me Momzilla. Am I being
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: crazy about this? She knew the rules, and I even
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: told her she could do the hair dye after we
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: get this over with. If the color doesn't come out,
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 2: she literally won't be able to compete and I'll have
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: wasted over $ 400. As a disclaimer, I have nothing against
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: people who color their hair or people who choose to
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: color their hair. My hair was bright green as a teenager.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: There's an edit. I think, yeah, they're all missing the big, like,
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: question of does she... Want to? I don't think she
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: wants to. It definitely sounds like you don't want to
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: do it. Yeah. And if we can tell through your
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: Reddit post that you don't care and you're like, let's
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: get this over with. Maybe that's a rubbed off on
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: your daughter a little bit.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: It could, but also it seems like it's pretty intensive.
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, they do tend to be pretty intensive. So
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: also just like the daughter might just not enjoy it anymore.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: She might just have preferred it when it was recreational.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: Especially if she's got you being like, How could you
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 2: do this? I can't believe you did this. Don't you
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: know you have to do nationals? Don't you know you
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: have to do that? And I've spent so much money
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: on you. It's like, yeah. Hey, do you like dancing competitively?
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: Let's let's start there.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: I honestly would maybe consider telling her, hey, we're not
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: going to go to national. We're not going to do
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: that because then you don't have to waste the money
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: on the hair dye. She gets to keep her orange hair.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 2: And then you're only wasting money on nationals.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 2: But also that that gets into a different conversation of
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 2: letting down people you've made a commitment to. Sure. You know. Sure.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: That's also true.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 2: There's an edit. Looking at some of these comments, I
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 2: just want to clarify when I asked Alexis if she
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: wanted to compete, she was very enthusiastic and told me yes.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: OK.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: She has done nationals every year for a few years
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: now and has loved it every time. I'm very clear
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 2: with her that since it is optional, she has the
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 2: choice whether or not she wants to still participate, and
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not forcing her in any way to do it.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 2: There's an update. Hello! Thank you for the insight. I
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: was really thinking about it last night and realized that
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: shouting at her and grounding her was not an adult
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: way to handle things. I apologized to her when we
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: sat down for breakfast this morning and we had a
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: heart-to-heart conversation in which we discussed the options she currently has.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 2: I calmly explained to her why what she did upset
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 2: me and why I reacted the way that I did.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: Nice. I like that. Taking accountability.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 2: She apologized to me for going behind my back after
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: I put a boundary in place. For those saying it's
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: not a big deal and it's just hair, you're right.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: It is just hair. It's not the orange hair that
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: upsets me. It's the fact that she did it after
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: I told her to wait because of the money I spent.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: Knew it.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: Knew it.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 4: Hmm.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: Knew it. Called it. Part of the reason why she
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: did the orange hair was because she thought she could
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: get out of this one thing.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I figured.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 2: I figured.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: She was like, oh, how do I get out of
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: doing my comp? Well, they can't let me do it
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: if I change my hair.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 2: Exactly. There's still a lot of ground to cover and
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: other things that need to be figured out, but I've
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: told her she does not have to compete anymore if
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 2: she does not want to and can just take her
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: regular classes. She's still going to do nationals, but everything
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: after that is up to her. Alexis is ungrounded, but
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 2: not out of trouble. She and I are going to
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: brainstorm a different, more fitting way for her to learn
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: from this. She's going to pay for a wig with
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: money she earned from babysitting her cousins. I texted her
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: dance instructor to let her know what we're doing, so
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: approval for her wearing the wig to the competition is
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: to be determined until it arrives. If not, she will
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: be responsible for finding another way to cover up the orange.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like that was all very good, and we
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: got to the root of it. And now we have
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: a conversation of, hey, just come to me next time
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: and tell me before you make these big decisions so
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: we can work through them together.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Thumbs up.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: Now she can go be in Paramore instead of dance competitions.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: She can be Hayley Williams.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: And ain't that fun?
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: For those who suggested box dye, putting box dye on
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 2: my daughter's hair will be the absolute last resort. I
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: understand she needs a fitting punishment and having to live
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: with a muddy hair color from putting it over the
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: orange will probably fit the crime, but I do not
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: want her to be miserable for an unnecessarily extended period
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: of time after the dance thing is over. Alexis doesn't
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: want to put box dye in her hair either, but
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: she said that if she has no other choice, then
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: she's okay with it. I told her that if we
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: end up having to put box color over it, she's
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: going to have to live with it until it grows
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: long enough to cut off Or she'll have to pay
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: for her own color correcting service. And that is the
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 2: end of that story.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: Well, there you go. Well, hopefully we don't have to
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: do the box dive, I think.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, hopefully not. I don't know. Such a dumb rule.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 4: What?
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 2: You can't have your hair dyed if you're going to
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 2: be in competitive dance. Hey, shut up.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: Dance is unfortunately very strict about everything. Hmm. And it
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: has been for thousands of years. Maybe just hundreds. I
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: don't know how it was thousands of years ago.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'd probably even scale that back to decades.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: You don't think... No, it was definitely... Russia has been
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: doing very... It's a very old.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: Art form. At least within the 100 to 200.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: Were they really that stingy? Yeah.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: Russia was like super, super. I don't know when. Maybe
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: in the past 100 years or something like that. But yeah,
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: it's been pretty brutal.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to pirouette off of that. Wee! And
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 2: let you know that that's the end of that story
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 2: and the end of this episode.