Latest / The R4R Podcast: Road to Zero / Matt Breen & Jess Peil

Transcript

Matt Breen & Jess Peil · The R4R Podcast: Road to Zero

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At Lonsdale St Studio, we believe in the power of
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storytelling to connect people and create change.
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That's why we're proud to be the production partner for this
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Running for Resilience podcast. Welcome to the After our
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podcast. We're fully getting our momentum
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now. We've had a few episodes, got a
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few planned, and we hope that it's going to be the community's
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podcast. So as many hosts, as many guests
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from our community as practical because we think that sharing
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stories from within our community and for our community
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is the best path that we know to further our goal towards a
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suicide free Canberra. And today we've got a very
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important guest in Afras history, Jess Peele.
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She's yeah, mother, she's a wife.
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She is a champion of quite a few charities and yeah, they're
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involved. And firstly, I guess thanks you
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and Rich, you know, you guys are involved in the the evolution of
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our for our from a community movement and it still is, but to
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a incorporate association, a charity, it came at the right
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time. It's just funny how things work.
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But I want to start the conversation with what you do
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because ACT local hero of the year, I think.
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No, no, no, I was runner up. You're runner up.
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That's very modest of you just yeah.
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Tim from what's it called leads, Leads for kids.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. He he took it out that year.
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Yeah, well, he deserving winner too.
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Yeah, who was? We spoke about your involvement
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with Mensing. You have your little triangle,
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Mensing, Afra and Bravehearts. Bravehearts.
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Yeah, correct. Bravehearts is the one that's I
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think closest to your heart. Yeah, I have a better term.
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I've been, so I've been involved with Bravehearts for it's now
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seven years. So we, so I'm the Canberra
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ambassador for Bravehearts and we run 7 marathons in seven
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states in seven days to raise awareness and funds to keep kids
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safe from sexual assault. Yeah, abuse.
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And what got you on that journey?
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Oh, you know, I met a really cool lady who was doing a
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training run just at at Cohen, just like, Oh yeah, I'm just
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here for a training run. It was Jane Hyatt.
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Yeah, I can say who it is. And what, what, what are you
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doing? And she said that she's doing
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this 7 marathons in seven states in seven days.
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And of course, you know, I piqued my interest.
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What's, you know, you do, you do a 5K, then you want to do a 10K,
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then you want to do it. You know, you're always wanting
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to grow and you're running and stuff.
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But then to have a purpose behind it was a really, really
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cool thing. And then my husband Rich went up
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to Sydney and was at the office up there and came back and said,
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oh, so our, our late, our legal guy, he's been talking to this,
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this organisation called Braveheart something, something,
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something. And I went, is that Braveheart
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777? He's like, yes, I said, well, do
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you want a runner? And it kicked off from there.
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But I think that like that very first year, it was the whole
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challenge, like I really, am I able to do this?
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Can I, I mean, I run one marathon here and I feel dead
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for a month. Am I going to be able to
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actually back up every day and do it?
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So the challenge part kind of kicked in.
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And then I, I turned around and I said to someone from
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Bravehearts, you know, I'm not going to be the fastest person
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there, but I'm going to raise the most money.
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And so every year that's been my thing, Like just raise as much
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money as possible because it doesn't matter how how long
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you're out there running, it's, you know, spreads more word when
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you can talk to more people the longer you're out there.
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You said, I think you said this, if I'm paraphrasing, you wanted
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to raise money because you wanted to help people have
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difficult conversations. Yes, around it.
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Yeah, I just want the conversation to be easier.
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Which? Conversation.
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So just the conversation about child sexual abuse.
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Yeah. Because one in 4 kids will be
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abused by the time they're eighteen.
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Wow. Or will be affected by it by the
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time they're 18. So I really want that
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conversation to be something that is more talked about.
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Yeah. So from parent to a kid, from
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teacher to a child, from a child to an adult, it doesn't matter.
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Like it should be something that's not, you know, a kid
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should not feel ashamed if something has happened to them.
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They should have an open open lines to converse about stuff
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like this just to get some help. Yeah.
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Because it it can feel a bit taboo, because it's a difficult,
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it's difficult to fathom that it exists on one regard.
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Yeah. And then I can only imagine how
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difficult it would be for someone to speak something that
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they don't hear ever. It's very true.
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It apologies if but you you had that first conversation at
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somebody's funeral did. I.
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With your mum when she asked you about a fella.
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Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Jeez, I forget everything. I'm glad that I have you here.
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No, it's the way I've angled. It yeah, that's cool.
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Yeah. So my when my dad passed away,
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his his best friend was from America.
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Yeah. And obviously came over for the
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funeral. Yeah.
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And at the end of that, my mum turned around and said to him
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and asked me then has he ever done anything to you?
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Yeah. And I was like.
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Your dad's friend. My dad's friend, yeah, yeah,
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100%. And I was like, and I didn't
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really think anything of it and stuff.
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And when you sort of think about sexual abuse, you always sort of
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think about the real, not like awful stuff.
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And no one sort of thinks about the, the lead up to stuff as
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well, like the, the manipulation, all that sort of
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thing. So when I was 14, we, we went
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to, it was this awful holiday. It was horrible.
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Went to this on this holiday up to Foster and my brother and I
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were sharing a room and I was already feeling really
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uncomfortable like he was he didn't know how to handle me as
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AI think I was 14 as a 14 year old.
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And it was like weird conversations that were coming
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out and I just I didn't want to be around him at all.
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And so up at foster my brother and I were sharing a room.
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We had these trundle beds that were, you know, not even as wide
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as this chair basically. And I just say you know what, I
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need to rest. Walked into my room laying on
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the bed and he came in and lay on top of me and was like not
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very big are they? And I was like what?
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And I like I froze in that situation and like what if I
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was? And I never really thought of it
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until my mum asked me about that.
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And the, if I was 6, where would that have gone?
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If I was a four year old, where would that have gone?
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And it's that real. And as a, a younger child and
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stuff too, the manipulation comes in the whole, oh, no one's
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going to believe you. You're, you know, if you one of
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the ones I heard which was the worst was a, a friend who had
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been assaulted by her grandfather.
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And that was basically where Bravehearts was born from.
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And she, her grandfather said to her, if you tell anyone about
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this, your dad, your dad will hurt me.
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Yeah. And when your dad hurts, hurts
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me, he'll go to gaol. And who do you think is going to
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be looking after you? Yeah, right, him.
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Gee whiz. Yeah.
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So it's a real. It's such a mind, like it's, it
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messes people's minds up so much.
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Yeah. It's such a manipulation that
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it's. Yeah, like a kid doesn't know
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how to get out of that. No, it's a really tough, tough
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situation. I'm just glad that she was very
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strong. Yeah.
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And told her dad so when she was 6.
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So it's crazy. And obviously her story and, you
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know, you sharing your story opens up those conversations
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that you're talking about. Yeah, and it was a fight.
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What do you? Mean as well.
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So when Bravehearts began, Hetty, who started it, my
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friend's mom, she, she couldn't even say the words basically
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child sexual abuse or child sexual assault or anything like
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that in media because she would get, no, she'd get wrapped
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rapped over the knuckles for it. So I think obviously over the
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years she's fought, she went into politics and stuff and she
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fought her way through and it's, yeah, it's taken a long, long,
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long time. So it's, it's almost, gosh,
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well, I can't even think how, how many years Bravehearts has
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been around for now. But it's it's taken a very, very
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long time to get to that point where we can advertise.
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And we spoke about it just before you're, you're what
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you're putting our Farrar at the forefront.
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You're saying, oh, can I say this?
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Will it affect affect, you know, how it's displayed on YouTube or
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Spotify? And we're like, no, you say
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whatever. But it that reason said still,
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you know, it's it's still a bit of a push to get cut through the
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noise because I'll be honest, one in four sounds like it.
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It's maybe because it's so uncomfortable to hear.
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It sounds unfathomably high. It's I believe it's higher than
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cancer. Yeah.
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And that just, yeah, boggles the mind.
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And so I guess from that lens, you can imagine some people, you
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know, wouldn't believe it. And then you're pushing through
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that as well. Yeah.
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And yeah, I can't, I can't imagine it.
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But you, you, you've garnered a lot of purpose through brave
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hearts. Yeah, really have, really have.
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I just think, you know, obviously people will say I
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can't believe you're running 7 marathons in a week.
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We'll get to that. That's.
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Amazing or you're, you know, you're incredible yeah and I
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feel really uncomfortable when people say any of that sort of
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stuff 'cause it's. Who you running for?
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It's what I'm running for. Yeah.
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And that's like we do what we can.
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The crew that we have keep us together and like they, they do
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more work than what we do. We're just like, you know, when
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you see like a football game, for example, and the players on
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the field, they get the, you know, the Hoo ha and whatever.
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Yeah, all the all the attention. And the Benny A's of the world.
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The Benny A's. Of the world, Yeah.
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We're looking at you, Benny. But they get so much of the, you
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know, the focus and stuff, and there's so many people behind
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the scenes that don't get seen as much.
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So I like hats off to the crew all the time.
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And stories, too, isn't there. I mean, oh gosh, yeah.
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As much as it. Yeah, I'll come back to that.
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Conversations. It's hard to have the
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conversation, I imagine. Like I'll speak from personal,
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you know, suicide is a hard conversation to have because,
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you know, puts other people in an uncomfortable position.
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And then also just because it's a really hard thing to talk
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about. It's it's something that you
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just kind of like what what am I meant to do with all this
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information? How have you seen the conversate
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like who? I mean you, I imagine you run
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with quite a few people that have been through child abuse.
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It was part of Bravehearts. What kind of people do you come
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across? I know you mentioned a few, but
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like so varied and what what do they like?
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What do they like? As in in the moment, like.
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I think a lot of the people who, who I've met through like just
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through running with Bravehearts, they've already,
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they've come to terms with what have happened, what has happened
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to them. And they're in a, they're in not
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always in a really great place, but they're in a better place.
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So they are more open about talking about this story.
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They're like one, one of my friends is the most beautiful,
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jovial human that you would ever meet in your life.
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Beautiful. And some people are still
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suffering like there's no, you can't flip the switch and say,
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OK, I'm fine. So I think taking the oh as, as,
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as the term goes, like the survivor mentality or the victim
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mentality. And once you've gone past that
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victim mentality and you're in that survival one, you're in
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such a better place. And you, it's, it sounds like
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you maybe pushed out of your mind until it was raised later.
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Yeah, I I honestly didn't think it was anything.
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And then when you realise it was something, did it shake your
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shake your world a little bit? What was it?
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Not, not really actually, because he, he passed away,
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yeah, as well. So I, I think that's actually
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when the conversation came up from my mom.
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Yeah. And I just, I think just having
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that little bit of a realisation and stuff and I was like, I can,
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this is something that does happen.
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Yeah. And obviously, like I said
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before, that it is something that if you were a younger child
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or where, where could the manipulation go?
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Yeah, My, my situation was very mellow in comparison to a lot of
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other people. So in that, in that respect, I'm
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very lucky. Yeah.
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But yeah, it's just. It opened your eyes to, yeah,
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like you said, where it could have gone.
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Yeah, correct. And that.
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Spurge into action. Yeah, yeah.
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And I think too, one of the other things as well is if you
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do, because not only does someone manipulate the child,
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yeah, we'll say the survivor, they also manipulate the whole
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family as well. Because it it will be very much,
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you know, it is. It's like 96%, something like
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that of abusers. Yeah, know the family and they
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manipulate everyone within that as well.
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So then the parent, like the child goes to the parent and
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says this has happened to me. Oh, that wouldn't have happened.
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You think you're you're dreaming sort of, you know, like brush it
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off, brush it in too hard to deal with, brush it off.
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How could that person do that? Really hard to believe.
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Like if you if you view it from the moment.
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Yeah, absolutely. Probably don't want to believe
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it, no. Yeah, No, no.
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And it's not at like it's not at fault of a parent.
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Parents are doing everything they can to keep their kids
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safe. Yeah, but manipulation is there,
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and it's strong. It happens.
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Yeah. It's really, really strong.
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Especially the what would you say the disparity between an
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adult and a child? Correct.
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Yeah, correct. We're talking about, I wanted to
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talk about it with you, not only from your personal perspective,
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but also because you know, Afrah's goal was to help make
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Canberra suicide free. And suicide sits on top of
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countless, countless struggles, all different struggles leading
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into someone's decision to take their life.
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And we can't have a suicide free Canberra without organisations
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like Bravehearts. But the communities are so
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linked and it's one of the reasons why you support Men's
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Link as well. Why?
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Why is that in your triangle? Why is it Men's Link and
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Braveheart? Well.
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I think so Braveheart does what it does with the keeping the
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kids safe from child sexual abuse.
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And then Men's Link keeps young boys on the straight and narrow.
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So once you have gone off, you know, off the rail as, as
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parents say, hanging out with the wrong crowd kind of thing.
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But there's, there's so much more to someone saying, Gee,
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they're being naughty. Yeah, you know, there is some.
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Like, where has that come from? Are they trying to seek
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attention? Are they trying?
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Has something happened in their past that they don't know how to
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articulate? So I think it is a really it is
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another stepping stone because basically men's link, that's
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what they're doing. They're trying to protect people
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from suicide as well. Yeah, Bravehearts is doing the
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same thing. Yeah.
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It's just termed differently. It's amazing how often I think
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that everyone's goals are aligned in some way.
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Yeah, maybe not on paper in terms of their mission
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statement, but I think we all just want everyone to have a
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happy, healthy life as much as they can.
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And you know, that manifests in different ways.
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You also have a Ferrara as part of that triangle, which we're
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very lucky to have. How did?
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I'm very lucky to have a Ferrari in my oh, that's my triangle.
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And that wasn't that was a circle in my triangle.
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Triangle. How did you come across Running
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for Resilience? Do you remember?
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That I had. Yeah, I had.
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I had a friend who kept saying come on down, come on down.
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Yeah, Larry, Larry, spin the wheel.
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Come on down. And yeah.
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So he kept saying, you know, come, you know, this is awesome.
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This will be really cool. Who was it?
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Do we know him? Yes, we know who they are.
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Tyson. Tyson.
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Yeah. So Tyson got.
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Me into that OG. Yeah, yeah, one of the Ogs.
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And then so I, you know, just went bloody shut him up.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, just. Shut him up, he's gone on about
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it too much so it came on down and stuff and haven't turned
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back since. Do you remember what you liked
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about it initially? Like the?
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Community. Yeah, yeah.
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And like at the time, obviously it was just the Wednesday night.
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I don't know if there was Monday and Fridays at that point.
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I can't remember. Yeah, Wednesday was the first.
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Then, yeah, we we dabbled with a Tuesday for like a month in Gun
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Garland. Yeah, for like a month.
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And then Friday started later. But yeah, Wednesday was the
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first for a while, yeah. So it would have been.
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So I think it was, yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the only one
17:06
that was there. Yeah.
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And yeah, just it obviously at that point it was a lot smaller,
17:12
yeah, as well. So it's just a really cool
17:14
community and. 50-60 people 50. 60 about that, yeah.
17:19
It's amazing. At the time that felt big, I
17:22
know. And then now.
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Look at us now, yeah? Like up up to 500 sometimes.
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It's just, it blows my mind. What?
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Why do you think people? Why do you think 500 people?
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I know why some people attend. Yeah.
17:38
Struggling. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
17:40
Some people are struggling and I like community is just, I think
17:45
it is just, it's so beautiful. And you can see it even more now
17:48
because or like when you get back and everyone's standing
17:52
around having a drink, having some dinner together, have like
17:54
just hanging around and chatting.
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They're not staying for 10 minutes.
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They're staying for half an hour to 4045 minutes sort of thing.
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So it's, you know, as we keep saying at the start of the talk,
18:05
stay, stay afterwards. That's the important part, yeah.
18:08
It is, yeah. And you often talk in in a
18:11
better headspace as well, you know, having exercised.
18:14
Absolutely. And I think too, like, I don't
18:17
know, I think running is also a really safe space to talk about
18:20
stuff because you're not face to face with people.
18:24
It's like the whole, you know, if you have, if you have
18:26
something that you need to talk to your kid about, do it in the
18:29
car. Yeah.
18:29
Because it's not aggressive. Like you, so intense.
18:32
Yeah, yeah. And especially like when it's
18:35
dark at the moment too. It's like someone it's feels
18:37
safer. I've thought about that.
18:40
When you it's because, yeah, your, your heads forward and if
18:44
somebody says something that's like quite a bit to digest, you
18:48
get a bit of time, bit more time to think.
18:50
Because if I'm looking somebody in the eyes when I'm talking,
18:54
you want to find your thoughts a bit quicker because it's like,
18:58
what are we doing? Like we're just having a
18:59
blinking contest or whatever it is.
19:02
But yeah, I get that completely, yeah.
19:05
Do you, do you rely on running in that regard?
19:08
Like do you if you need to talk through, talk through some stuff
19:12
with some friends? Yeah, I think so, Yeah.
19:14
I mean I. Talk a lot anyway.
19:16
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all right.
19:17
There's no, like, I can't. I just, everything's out all the
19:20
time. Like I've constantly.
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I have no issues with telling anyone anything.
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Yeah. And yeah, I, I, I do still think
19:27
that that is a really safe space.
19:29
Yeah, and I do like I talk more. I know that's really hard to
19:33
believe, but I do talk more when I'm running.
19:35
Yeah, that's great. Maybe it's because I'm trying to
19:37
cover the sound of my breath and I'm dying.
19:41
Were you talking, and we'll talk about this in a later episode,
19:45
but were you talking much during the blood run?
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Weirdly, yeah, Yeah. Even though.
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Because it was. Because it sounded hard.
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And for those of you don't know, I think is it, Is it?
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It's what? A lap of how much?
19:59
So we did so the actual thing was about one point, something
20:05
case loop 1.8 not up down. So 1.8 up, down, yeah. 1.8 down,
20:11
yeah. And do you remember the
20:12
elevation? 5000 metres.
20:14
Gee whiz. And this was for Leukaemia
20:18
Foundation. Yeah, and Callan, the man behind
20:22
the mission is going to be interviewing soon, so that's
20:25
going to be great to further the community nature of the podcast.
20:28
But do you? Know how much fun that was?
20:30
Why? What about it made it fun?
20:33
Again, I think no pressure. Yep.
20:35
And we were just up. And so you were just in it and
20:39
the loop nature made it you could pull out whenever.
20:42
You could just yeah, we we ended up getting to.
20:44
So I know shooter went to went all the way.
20:46
Yeah. I think Cherie.
20:48
So my coach Cherie and I got to about 3200 and but it we just
20:53
had fun. Yeah.
20:54
It's just cool. And just like, you know, I'm
20:56
running along. Oh, there's a koala.
20:58
Oh, like it's just, it was just a ball.
21:00
Yeah. Really good people fire, you
21:02
know, out in the Bush up in Central Coast.
21:04
It was amazing. Yeah.
21:06
Give a is Cherie elevate is that yeah, yeah.
21:10
Tell me about elevate because there are heaps of elevate
21:12
runners. Oh my God, at our for our and
21:15
you see them all around with those what would you call it
21:17
Navy blue or yeah, got Navy blue, Navy blue shirt with yeah,
21:20
yeah. What because it's a bit more I
21:23
wouldn't say serious, but purposeful running, structured.
21:26
Yeah, yeah. It's more structured.
21:27
So we have like we just do interval sessions and stuff.
21:30
So a couple of days like there's Tuesday morning, Tuesday night,
21:34
Wednesday morning, Wednesday night, Thursday morning, yeah,
21:37
just in different places around Canberra.
21:39
And then we also do group runs on the weekends as well.
21:41
Yeah, but they're, Cherie's just an awesome coach.
21:44
So she coaches all sessions. Yeah and I think there's only
21:48
there's one Rd session now, yeah as well.
21:50
And everything else is on trail and.
21:53
But she's just got a great group of people, if I do say so
21:56
myself. Well.
21:57
I I think a lot of them go to after and I've I've met them and
22:01
yeah, couldn't agree more. It just seems like such a nice.
22:04
Yeah, she's done a great job with it.
22:07
And such a feature in your week. Oh yeah, yeah, always.
22:10
It's not, It's not Tuesday anymore.
22:12
It's elevate. It's Elevate.
22:14
Day. Yeah, it's Elevate Day.
22:15
It's Elevate Day. It's great.
22:17
Yeah. How much of that, how much
22:19
important do you think that is in?
22:23
I mean, what we see with our Ferraro is the consistency and
22:26
the ease of it. But it's not just our Ferrara.
22:28
There's footy clubs, there's Elevate, there's so much
22:31
gymnastics, there's all those things that people plug into.
22:35
Yeah. Do you see, do you see it
22:38
elsewhere? Do you see the the benefit of
22:40
community and exercise for mental health elsewhere?
22:44
Yeah, I think again, saying like gymnastics, for example.
22:49
So my kids been doing gymnastics for what, 10 years now?
22:52
And there is a real connection in there as well with the girls.
22:57
And you do see a lot of them when they do decide, you know,
23:01
for whatever reason that they're not going to do it anymore if
23:04
they don't go to something else. You can see them kind of, you
23:08
know, going into a bit of a, a negative space as well.
23:12
Because I, I just think movement is just so important.
23:16
And then movement with friends is important to her.
23:21
Important. Important.
23:24
I've got girls. I've got twin girls.
23:26
And you say that. I mean, my little man as well, I
23:31
guess. Like, how do you, how do you
23:35
make sure kids. I mean, you're a bit on the
23:37
other side, aren't you? Your kids are over 15.
23:40
Yeah. Yeah.
23:40
How do you, how do you make sure they get what they need to get?
23:44
Is it just a matter of putting them into something and kind of
23:47
cracking the whip in a sense and.
23:49
Not cracking the whip or. Find them where they enjoy it.
23:51
Yeah, just find where they enjoy it.
23:52
I think when they're really young, throw them into
23:55
everything. Yep.
23:56
And they'll they'll weed out what they like and what they
23:58
don't like. Yeah, I remember we did with our
24:02
3 when they were all quite young.
24:04
We did little athletics. Yeah, we went once.
24:07
Yeah, once. Yeah.
24:09
I hated it. I hated it.
24:10
Yeah, they hated it. I.
24:12
Remember my parents making me tell the coach to get out of
24:15
because I was like, I don't want to go anymore.
24:17
I really, I would have been, I don't know, four or five.
24:18
You go, go to the coach and he's like, I don't want to go
24:21
anymore. All right, Yeah, we didn't go.
24:23
Yeah. They just, I reckon just kids
24:26
just find their spot. Yeah, they find what they love
24:28
to do. But it's it's very cool.
24:30
Yeah. Takes a lot.
24:32
It's a lot of driving. Yeah, I imagine it would be.
24:36
And but you it sets up good habits.
24:40
Yeah, it does. Yeah.
24:41
And do you think Speaking of good habits as well, I actually
24:44
think supporting other initiatives is key to mental
24:48
health. Agreed.
24:50
It does something where if you're, I can't remember the
24:54
saying, it's like if you're void of purpose, give it to somebody
24:57
else. You know, if you can't.
24:58
Yeah. Yeah.
24:59
You can't figure out what to do, do something for somebody else.
25:02
And that kind of gives you a bit of a guiding star.
25:05
Yeah. Do you think about that when
25:06
you're doing all your, let's call it, charity work or
25:10
community efforts, like how much you do?
25:12
Quite a bit. Yeah.
25:12
Do a bit. Are you also trying to set an
25:15
example? Yeah, I think so.
25:17
I think so. And I think it's now it takes a
25:20
while for it to to kick in. Yeah.
25:24
So we did like little again with going back to the kids when they
25:27
were young, we would say, OK, so pick a charity and we'll give
25:32
you some money and that money goes to the charity.
25:35
So we did that when they were really young.
25:36
I think. I don't know if they hate it or
25:38
not, but you know, it is what it is.
25:40
And now my oldest who lives in Hawaii, he's now part of a like
25:45
a clean up Hawaii crew and they just go around and pick up
25:48
rubbish. Yeah, right.
25:49
And stuff on a like on a day on a weekend.
25:52
And he's getting, he's getting right into it.
25:54
Yeah. Yeah.
25:55
I think just teaching people to give back or teaching kids to
25:58
give back is really important. Yeah.
25:59
And it, and I think as well, it doesn't matter what it is like
26:03
you can't, I'm not going to sit there and tell my 17 year old
26:06
who hates running that she should go run.
26:09
No, because that's not going to work.
26:10
You know, if she's, you know, making things or, you know,
26:13
doing something like that, then that's her thing.
26:15
You know you don't have to do what everyone else is doing to
26:19
make a difference. Yeah, it's, I mean, I've got it
26:23
all ahead of me. Yeah.
26:24
I just hope that they're doing all the things I enjoy to do,
26:26
but most likely won't be I I said we were going to talk about
26:30
before. I think people do want to know 7
26:34
marathons, seven days. What are you like?
26:38
What are you thinking? What you.
26:41
Know there's a lot that goes through my head.
26:43
Before you did it. So yes.
26:45
What kind of runner were you before you did the first
26:49
Bravehearts? So I've been running for a long,
26:52
like for a long time, yeah, Even though you probably wouldn't be
26:55
able to actually realise that. But so ran for a long time.
27:00
My dad ran, yeah, he was. He set up the the Great Train
27:03
race in Melbourne. Oh, against Puffing Billy.
27:05
So that was his idea. And now?
27:07
It's I haven't heard that name in age.
27:08
Oh. Really.
27:09
Yeah, Yeah. I remember puffing Billy, yeah.
27:11
Puffing Billy, Yeah. Over that crazy bridge and stuff
27:14
yeah. So my dad was the the person who
27:16
came up with the idea to race the train from Belgrave up to
27:19
Emerald. Yeah.
27:21
So it's. I've been around running
27:22
forever, but not, you know, on and off.
27:25
You know, he turn into those teenagers and stuff and you're
27:28
like. Yeah, I don't wanna do anything.
27:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna smooch in my room and be a, you
27:33
know, be a brat. And and then I think it was like
27:38
I'd I'd run a bit and then I had had jacks.
27:43
I had my first yeah. And went oh God, I'm gonna get
27:46
back into shape. Ridiculous.
27:49
And so it's just started running a little bit then and it's just.
27:53
Snowballing I kept. Snowballing.
27:54
Yeah, Yeah. And you done a marathon before?
27:58
No, I'd done, what did I do before that?
28:02
So I had done, I'd done 1/2. Yeah, I remember doing a half
28:06
and at the Canberra half and I came out at the end of it and I
28:10
was chasing my nephews around. Yeah, at the end.
28:13
And I went oh. Dear, Oh, dear, oh.
28:15
Did I even I I've still got energy.
28:17
Yeah, yeah, maybe I didn't run hard enough, or maybe I didn't
28:20
run far enough. Oh, so you were ready to roll?
28:23
Yeah, I was ready to roll. So then I did the Gold Coast
28:25
Marathon from there, Yeah. And I went, OK, what's next?
28:29
Yeah, you ready to roll again? What's next?
28:31
Yeah, exactly. So predisposed a little bit,
28:34
yeah. Yeah.
28:34
You like it? I think so many people do that,
28:36
yeah. So they're like OK so I've
28:37
achieved my 5K. Yeah.
28:39
What's next? Yeah.
28:40
And. Then you know, what's next?
28:41
What's next? Yeah.
28:42
So it kind of grew from that to trail running and then to 50K
28:47
and then I think I I can't remember if no I did.
28:51
I did 100K before. Before the 1st 777, Yeah.
28:55
OK, So you're pretty good. You're pretty.
28:58
You're pretty accomplished, let's say.
28:59
I do lots of stuff and I do it real bad.
29:01
Yeah, yeah. Was there like AI mean you see
29:06
that Ned Brockmans, you see all these like they go through
29:09
pretty severe. Oh yeah.
29:11
Like what would you call it? Injury.
29:13
Not injury, but pain. Is there a moment?
29:16
Your your version? Is it your version of Gee whiz,
29:19
what have I done? Or again, did you get to the end
29:21
of seven marathons? Go.
29:22
Oh, what are we going to do next?
29:23
Next. No, no.
29:26
I have I I tend to have one year of pain and the next year's
29:30
fine. Like I come.
29:31
On, weirdly it's on and off, OK, It's on and off.
29:34
So the first year pain. Pain.
29:36
Yeah, yeah. First year was pain and I ended
29:40
up my foot blew up so much I looked like an elephant.
29:42
It was ridiculous. Second year, nothing.
29:45
And that was the year that that was COVID year.
29:47
Yep. So I would, I just worked out
29:50
all my own courses and stuff and did it all in Canberra.
29:53
OK Yeah. And then I'd go home and I'd get
29:54
in the ice bath and I'd have a massage and I'd go to the
29:57
physio. And so I had homegrown
29:59
advantage. Yeah.
29:59
Yeah, Exactly. Exactly.
30:01
Then the next year, next year we did them all up at Queensland,
30:06
just go across Queensland and. How was that humid hot It's.
30:13
Ridiculous. I never want to run in cans
30:15
again. Yeah.
30:16
Holy moly. Because it was really tricky
30:19
because think you're still getting locked out of places.
30:21
Yeah. So we we were supposed to go.
30:23
We did. We end up doing 22IN Toowoomba.
30:27
Yeah. Oh, this is where you had to
30:28
stay within this whole state. Yeah, because you they had the
30:31
lockdowns, correct? Yeah, correct.
30:33
So and you pick the most humid state or maybe not.
30:35
Yeah, well. Bravehearts is from Queensland.
30:37
Ah, of course. That was the yeah, yeah.
30:38
The crux of that really. But we had, so we did 22IN
30:42
Toowoomba because we couldn't get to Brisbane, because if we
30:45
went to Brisbane we would have to go into lockdown in Brisbane
30:47
for two weeks. Yeah, yeah.
30:49
Then we went to Mount Isa. Oh yeah, yeah, that was just
30:54
insane. Yeah.
30:57
Beautiful course. Don't get around the course.
30:58
Was beautiful, but you know, you land and pull up in the bus and
31:02
stuff and they say grab your bags, get them inside.
31:04
Not right now or they're going to get stolen.
31:06
So it was a really quite, quite scary.
31:08
Yeah. Right in Mount Isa, but.
31:11
And then we ended up in Cairns from there.
31:14
So I missed all these other little towns that we were
31:15
supposed to go to as well. We end up doing the rest in
31:17
Cairns. Yeah.
31:19
And it was just so boring after a while.
31:24
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.
31:26
But pain free, second year pain free.
31:29
And then how are you feeling for this year's we'll?
31:32
See what? Happens ready to roll.
31:34
Thank you. Because how much have you raised
31:36
so far? Because you said this, this is
31:38
your 7th year this year. Yeah, correct.
31:40
So six years. Six years, so it's been around.
31:44
I don't have the exact figure, but it's over those six years.
31:46
It's been 350,000 so far and I'm up to almost 55,000 this year
31:51
now but I want to get to 200. 200 yeah.
31:54
And do you have like grandiose skulls of 10 years or, or are
31:59
you, are you not counting your chickens before they hatch and
32:01
you're just doing a year? Yeah.
32:03
Yeah, just do it year by year and stuff and just see what
32:04
happens next year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:07
Yeah, I, yeah. What kind of impact does that
32:11
350,000 have? Like what does Bravehearts do?
32:14
What do they do? Yeah.
32:15
So a lot of that will go either directly to helping kids have
32:20
like direct, like direct services and stuff with
32:25
psychologists, etcetera that come in.
32:28
It also goes into the school programmes.
32:29
So it goes into what they call the Ditto programme.
32:32
And through the Ditto programme they he's like this character
32:37
and they have age appropriate songs that go through schools.
32:41
So it rolls all that sort of stuff out, goes into again, more
32:45
like research and all that sort of stuff as well.
32:48
Just to say it's really hard because they can't actually find
32:52
a common denominator between people who do abuse right?
32:56
Which is really tricky. So it's it's a lot of that sort
32:59
of stuff, working with America, working with the UK.
33:01
So it's a little bit more, would it be a little bit more focused
33:05
on preparing people to avoid themselves?
33:08
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
33:09
So there is a lot of that about being your own.
33:11
And the and the families being and.
33:13
The families correct, correct and and getting schools away as
33:17
well. You know, if you know little,
33:20
this child starts to behave really differently to what they
33:23
were before. Is what's going on there.
33:26
Well, this is where my mind's going because we both know the
33:29
impact of communities. How how do we, Yeah, how do we
33:35
make sure? I mean, our fraud is getting
33:37
bigger and we want to make sure that it stays a safe space,
33:40
which it has. Fortunately, I think just
33:42
because there's been good people, how how do you ensure or
33:48
is it, is there is there a science to it?
33:50
Or is it just like when you see something you call it out?
33:53
Or what is the? I think so like it is like the
33:57
how we were talking about the red flag, green flag, yellow
33:59
flags and stuff like looking for flags in people behaviour is
34:04
such a big thing. Like the, you know, if you see
34:07
someone and they're sitting in a corner and stuff like completely
34:10
alone and looking quite make or whatever, there's something
34:13
going on, you know. So it's really just having that
34:16
awareness and stuff and being able, being able to not be
34:19
afraid to talk to someone. Uncomfortable conversations,
34:22
Yeah. What you're talking about, Yeah.
34:24
Correct, correct. Yeah, because we, well, I spoke
34:30
about it with Lily in the previous episode.
34:34
You know, good things can be the source of bad, but if we if we
34:41
can harness them the right way, we can avoid so many.
34:44
And I kind of think about community is it's like the
34:46
infrastructure to solve so many problems that we have where we
34:50
already have it. The infrastructure is there.
34:52
If people are engaging with community often, regularly,
34:57
that's a marker for a good, a good foundation of resilience,
35:02
let's call it. But if that community has a few
35:07
cracks in it where people can fall through, it's a bit harder.
35:12
It's a bit harder to catch those people.
35:14
Yeah, it. Is and I think as well,
35:16
obviously we at our for our we're getting so big yeah as
35:20
well on the Wednesday nights and stuff and I, I the impact is
35:23
incredible. I think it's amazing yeah.
35:26
But does that you know how the cracks then when community is
35:29
bigger? How are we looking after the
35:31
cracks? Yeah, I think, yeah.
35:32
What One of the ways, which I think is awesome, it was set up
35:36
the partnership with the Medicare mental health centre.
35:39
Yeah. Because people do fall through
35:40
cracks. But if we have somewhere to send
35:42
them, yeah, you know, because we can't help everyone, but if we
35:46
can help them get to the right people that can help them,
35:50
that's huge. But on, on that note, if
35:54
somebody's listening to this, you know, and they haven't had
35:56
that conversation about maybe experience they've had when they
36:01
were a child or, or, or right now as a child, where where do
36:06
they go? What's what should we be telling
36:09
those those people going through something either in the moment
36:13
or post post moment? I think just having just a safe
36:18
person you can talk to and that could be, that could be a
36:21
parent, that could be a grandparent, auntie, uncle,
36:23
family member, or, you know, just a best friend.
36:27
Yeah. Just to be able to actually sit
36:30
down again, finding a safe space as well, like even just going
36:34
for a walk or, you know, somewhere that's not public,
36:38
public like a cafe or something like that.
36:39
I think would be could be pretty intimidating to have a deep
36:42
conversation like that, but just yeah, just being able to
36:45
actually just sit down and say, hey, I need your help.
36:48
Yeah, is massive. I think a lot like obviously
36:53
coming from the other, the other direction as well of saying are
36:57
you OK? Yeah, is also very important
37:00
too. And you can see the signs.
37:02
Well, what are the signs roughly?
37:04
I know you're you. I didn't want to put Lily on the
37:07
spot as well, with being in the authority like it's your, but
37:10
yeah. Like what?
37:11
What do you look for? I mean, you're, it'd be fun of
37:13
your mind. Yeah.
37:14
But like just changes in behaviour.
37:15
Yeah, I think is a really to me is a really big one.
37:18
In the person who is the survivor?
37:21
Yeah, yeah, correct. Yep.
37:22
Just seeing those changes and stuff I like and, and sometimes
37:26
they, they are so minute, yeah, as well like to, you know,
37:30
someone who was, you know, jovial and happy or what?
37:33
And, you know, the life of the party could then turn to being
37:36
someone who's really sheltered and quite closed off.
37:38
Yeah, that's more obvious. That's the really obvious.
37:41
Yeah, there are obvious. Like if you were to stop
37:43
talking. Oh, if I were to stop talking,
37:47
yeah, worries. But seriously, Yeah.
37:50
And then the minute changes. Yeah, just those tiny little
37:52
minute changes like just. And again, it will come like
37:55
it's obviously all behaviour, but just the tiny, just little,
37:59
little quirks, little words that they start using or stop.
38:02
You know, it's, it's really hard to say.
38:05
Yeah, it's really, really hard to say.
38:07
And what's the worst that can happen, right?
38:08
If you ask if somebody's OK? Yeah.
38:11
And then I think about this as well.
38:14
When you ask someone if they're OK, sometimes the conversation
38:20
isn't needed for them to feel better.
38:22
Sometimes the act of you asking, Hey, you all right?
38:27
They go, yeah, yeah, I'm OK. But they, they feel a bit more
38:30
supported. Yeah, they, they feel like they
38:32
maybe could talk to you. Yeah.
38:35
Because you've asked like you've you've kind of opened the door.
38:37
He said, hey, like, do you want to talk?
38:40
And he said, no, no, I'm OK because some people just, they
38:43
don't want to talk about it. So they go, no, I'm OK.
38:45
Yeah. But they know that you're there
38:47
to support. Them, yeah, correct.
38:48
And it might end the conversation might not happen
38:51
right then and there. Yeah, they might sit there like
38:53
a week later or something and go, actually I'm not, Yeah, but
38:57
they know that that's that, like you said, that doors been opened
39:00
and that they can turn around and chat to that person.
39:04
And sometimes it could be as well because it's face to face
39:06
and there might be again, it's uncomfortable and phone call
39:11
might be an easier option. Yeah, and it just, and it can
39:14
build over time, can't it? So the more times you sort of
39:18
offer the, it's not an olive branch, but the helping hand,
39:23
the more opportunity there is for them to, to take it.
39:26
Yeah, correct. How many similarities?
39:30
Because I, I see similarities everywhere.
39:32
How many similarities do you see in all the communities you're
39:34
involved involved with apart from the running exercise
39:37
aspect? Apart from that stuff.
39:40
Do you see any like constant things that we know are great
39:45
that we should try and emphasise?
39:48
Like again, I do I I like that. Obvious.
39:52
Like, oh, the obvious thing in a big group and you see all the
39:55
little subgroups. Yeah.
39:57
And stuff I like. I like that.
39:59
You like that? Yeah, I.
40:00
Do I really like it? I don't know, like you just see
40:02
the different people mingling together and stuff and then
40:04
they, you know, they evolve and change as well over time.
40:08
I like seeing as well that when in some of the communities and
40:11
stuff people are again saying that, you know, 5 and then want
40:16
to go 10, they're encouraging each other.
40:19
Yeah as well. Like I really like the
40:20
encouragement and stuff for that.
40:22
And that cuts across to like gymnastics as well, where you
40:25
know, someone does some flippity dippity something or.
40:28
Other yeah, yeah. Don't ask me what the names are
40:30
of anything because I've got no idea.
40:33
And everyone claps and applauds that person.
40:35
Yeah. And that's.
40:36
And I say that everywhere. Yeah.
40:38
And it doesn't matter what if you know, if you're starting up
40:42
a pub or if you're starting up at this, There's you've always
40:45
got people that are clapping you on and positive in your corner.
40:48
Yeah, it's positive. And you, you, you prompted me to
40:52
think. When you see it happen, it kind
40:54
of gives other people, well, literally said it as well, It
40:56
gives courage to do it themselves, correct and belief
40:59
that they could do it themselves.
41:00
Correct. Do you see that at our for our
41:04
where people, you know, they put their story out there and what
41:07
they did about it? Yeah.
41:08
And that kind of gives people belief.
41:10
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
41:11
Yeah, Yeah, it does. It's like, obviously little
41:15
story is amazing. Yeah.
41:17
I feel, you know, I my life has been quite vanilla and easy in,
41:24
in that sort of sense and stuff like, I haven't like, it's cool.
41:28
It's just so many different people.
41:29
Yeah. And just all their different
41:31
backgrounds and stuff is really, really cool.
41:33
What would you like to see our Farad do?
41:35
I know you're on the board. You're very involved.
41:37
I'll put you on the spot. Yeah.
41:40
Where? Where do you see a little
41:42
pocket, a little group of opportunity for our for our I?
41:47
Think that like the direction that we're going at the minute
41:49
with growth and getting in, not not us reaching out to other
41:55
like because cafes, clubs and all that sort of stuff, but with
41:59
having them come to us all the time and saying, Hey, I've got
42:02
an idea, Hey, why don't we do this here?
42:04
Why don't we do that there? I think that's a really cool,
42:06
that's really cool. And it does create that extra
42:08
community as well because they take ownership over it and I,
42:12
which is awesome. So it shows that we're obviously
42:14
we're doing something really cool that others want to be
42:16
involved in. Yeah, it is fun.
42:19
It is fun. I just want to see that keep
42:21
growing that growth. Yeah, me too.
42:24
It's pretty amazing to think how far it's come.
42:29
I. Know from what, 10 of you, Yeah.
42:33
And but it's crazy, I was, we were speaking a little bit about
42:37
it before it's become so much more than.
42:40
And this is one of the reasons we want more hosts.
42:42
Maybe you can host someone, we'll ask you who you want to
42:44
host later. But more hosts from the from the
42:47
community, more guests from the community because it really is
42:52
taking on this mould where anybody can adopt the Al Farah
42:57
community as their own persona, let's say, and push it forward.
43:03
And I feel like that's what's happened.
43:05
You know, we've grown so much because people are doing that.
43:08
There's too many people to think that's true with what's happened
43:13
with Al Farah and it's just amazing to see how far it's
43:18
come. But on that note, if you were to
43:22
host this podcast. Yes.
43:26
Who would you? Who would you like?
43:28
Anyone, anyone. Anyone.
43:30
Anyone world wide? World.
43:31
Yeah, the Goat. Courtney Dewalter.
43:35
Oh yeah, Courtney. I would, I like, I I reckon if I
43:39
ever meet her in the real world, I reckon I'll cry.
43:41
Why? I just think she's cool.
43:44
Yeah, she's cool. She's so cool.
43:46
She's a mad woman. Oh.
43:47
She's mad, yeah, she's absolutely she's mad.
43:50
But she's there's no ego, There's no like she's so calm
43:58
and yeah, like just, I just reckon she'd be just a good egg.
44:01
I reckon she would be too. She.
44:03
Have you listened to many of her interviews?
44:06
We will. I've listened to a few.
44:09
If you had a talk about the pain cave.
44:11
Yeah, yeah. What do you think about that?
44:14
Do you ever go to the pain cave or like, do you get familiar
44:17
with hardship and you can't? I certainly do.
44:20
Oh, yeah. If I enter, like, a hard time,
44:23
like, I know I've been here before.
44:26
I know what I need to do. I know it'll get better.
44:29
Yeah. Do you kind of have that?
44:31
Oh yeah. Like you seek inspiration from
44:33
Courtney. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
44:35
Should be good Interview should. Be amazing.
44:38
Yeah. Will you ever do Moab 240 or is
44:43
that a bridge too far? No, that's.
44:45
Not too far. Not too far.
44:46
That's not too far. I mean, we talk about Brisbane,
44:49
of Queensland weather. What about Yeah Desert?
44:53
You I had I'd be maybe interested in like bad was it
44:58
bad water you? Know.
45:00
Yeah, I know. I've heard of that, yeah.
45:03
That's nuts. Nuts, nuts.
45:05
So I like, I mean, that could be kind of cool.
45:07
I don't like hate. OK, Yeah, well, I'm a cold.
45:11
I'm a cold weather weather runner.
45:14
Well, one of our runners, I don't know if you've heard of
45:15
this. Ingrid.
45:17
She's. Have you met Ingrid?
45:18
Don't. Think so maybe?
45:20
She's from New Zealand. OK.
45:22
And. She ran 1/2 marathon in
45:24
Antarctica. Yeah, yeah.
45:26
Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. That's cool.
45:28
Yeah, that would be really cool. Yeah.
45:30
So I wouldn't mind doing the seven continents. 7 continents.
45:34
What's that? Is that a planned event?
45:37
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
45:37
So it's 7 marathons in seven days in seven continents.
45:44
I know it's a hard one to wrap your head around.
45:46
You'd be. Like Antarctica, Miami, Perth.
45:50
I can't remember where the other ones are, but it's.
45:52
But you'd be making up time because you'd fly backwards.
45:55
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
45:57
That would be really cool, I just worry that I'm too slow.
46:02
But there would be a time, there would be a time, wouldn't there?
46:04
Yeah, I don't know what the time limit is and stuff.
46:06
I've had a friend who's done it and yeah, but he's crazy quick,
46:12
yeah as well. So yeah.
46:15
They're just, yeah, they're just different, different breeds of
46:19
people, aren't they? They can.
46:20
They can do it, yeah. Very, very, very true.
46:24
Yeah. But I do.
46:25
I like the back to back stuff. It's it's fun.
46:27
Yeah. Yeah.
46:28
Saying like Southern Lakes Ultra was awesome.
46:31
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
46:32
And it was scary. I was so scared.
46:34
But why loved it because I haven't done well.
46:37
It's camping. Yeah.
46:38
And you have to have all of your like, if like all your clothes,
46:42
all your food for the week, everything you're going to take
46:46
for the whole week. They they provide tents for you
46:49
in a like 15K bag. That's it.
46:53
Any like if you forget anything to.
46:54
This one you just did recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
46:56
February. Yeah, yeah, it was really good.
47:00
Bit of fear is good though, isn't it?
47:02
You have to. I think you have it's, it's
47:04
healthy, yeah. It's a really, really healthy
47:06
thing to have because otherwise, you know, you just kind of going
47:08
through the motions and stuff. You have to have something this.
47:10
Good test yourself a little bit, don't you?
47:13
Yeah, I think so. And.
47:15
We'll finish that because your 7th grade, 7th Bravehearts, Yeah
47:21
is coming up. Coming up, When does it start?
47:23
So we start at the end of June, so 30th of June, and we go
47:26
through to the 6th. So pretty soon, how can people
47:30
support? We actually we're running
47:33
Canberra yeah on like come to any of the states yeah as well.
47:37
So it's all on the 777 website. OK.
47:41
But the Canberra 1 is on the 5th of of July.
47:44
Yes, so. And that's a Saturday.
47:46
Saturday. So you've got no excuse.
47:47
Do you know where you're starting?
47:48
Where you're finishing. Yeah, we start at Bone Park down
47:50
there. I don't know why I pointed it.
47:53
Could be that way. That way, that way.
47:54
Yeah, that way. So Bone Park at Kingston
47:58
Foreshore and we just go along the front in front of the the
48:02
lake there back. And back, back and forth.
48:04
It's. Back and forth, yeah.
48:05
So we do 6. Yeah, back and forths and so
48:07
people can rock up and support that way, correct.
48:09
They can also go website. Yeah, donate money.
48:11
Go to the website, donate money. We're like, you can just pick
48:15
your runner and stuff and throw some money that way.
48:17
Yeah, great. Thanks.
48:20
Thanks for talking with us, Jess.
48:22
Hopefully Courtney the Walter, if you listen, we can get her on
48:26
and Jess can interview. Oh my.
48:28
Gosh, I don't know. That would be a babbling mess.
48:30
It would be good. Yeah.
48:31
But as you heard, if you want to support Jess, please head to
48:35
Braveheart's website, which we'll put in the show notes.
48:37
Yeah. And we'll see it after our next
48:40
next time. Bye.
48:42
Bye. Thanks, Jess.
48:43
Thanks. Right.
48:43
Bye.