Latest / The Parenting Podcast / The Transformative Power of Play - For Everyone | Ep. 101

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The Transformative Power of Play - For Everyone | Ep. 101 · The Parenting Podcast

• 0:06
  Hello, wonderful parents.
• 0:09
  Get ready for a conversation that may reshape your perspective on play.
• 0:18
  I'm Cheryl Lang and I'm thrilled to have you join the Parenting Podcast Team as we unravel the often unrecognized benefits of creative, child directed play.
• 0:32
  For all ages, with a special focus on your teens.
• 0:39
  It goes beyond mere entertainment.
• 0:42
  It's a crucial element in their cognitive, emotional, and social development.
• 0:49
  From the joyful messiness of preschool play to the structure of organized activities, we're navigating the entire spectrum.
• 1:01
  Our goal is to build a compelling case for integrating play into your family's daily life, emphasizing its role in nurturing resilient, creative, and emotionally intelligent individuals.
• 1:17
  Oh, before we start, if you don't know it, producing a podcast is about a hundred different layers of technology.
• 1:29
  And unfortunately, the recording studio we used was having some trouble with their microphones and particularly the one I used.
• 1:39
  So, please be patient with us.
• 1:42
  There are some glitches in the flow, but hopefully the message and the truth of what we're trying to say is clear, even if all the words aren't.
• 1:56
  Cheryl: All right.
• 1:57
  Cheryl: So...
• 1:59
  Cheryl: As we are looking at the holidays approaching, with the holidays comes winter weather.
• 2:04
  Cheryl: And so a lot of things are shutting down or it's not the time of year.
• 2:10
  Cheryl: And so I was thinking about that and we just did this series about, looking and discussing at how much electronic and device time our families are using.
• 2:22
  Cheryl: So I've had a lot of feedback from parents about, wow, you know, you got our attention and we're interested in this.
• 2:28
  Cheryl: So now what do we do?
• 2:31
  Cheryl: So with both of those combined, how about if We talk about what the kids can do that's different, like play
• 2:39
  Christie: Play
• 2:42
  Ellen: not on
• 2:42
  Christie: devices.
• 2:43
  Christie: That's right.
• 2:43
  Christie: I
• 2:45
  Cheryl: would like us to make a case for parenting using play.
• 2:50
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 2:51
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 2:51
  Cheryl: Now, a lot of people go, Oh, well, I have older kids and they want to shut us off.
• 2:55
  Cheryl: Don't.
• 2:56
  Cheryl: Because it's not just for the zero to four year olds that we're talking about.
• 3:01
  Cheryl: I want us to make a case to talk about the reality of incorporating creative, free, child directed play throughout all the ages.
• 3:14
  Cheryl: Certainly including teens.
• 3:15
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 3:16
  Christie: Alright.
• 3:16
  Christie: Well, I like to play as an adult, too.
• 3:18
  Christie: I was going to say, I'm going to stop.
• 3:20
  Ellen: That's an important part of mental health, is having your...
• 3:23
  Ellen: time of play, whatever it is.
• 3:24
  Ellen: Free,
• 3:25
  Christie: free fun coming in.
• 3:26
  Christie: Your life brings joy and yeah.
• 3:29
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 3:29
  Cheryl: And what y'all are saying, because I did do some research on it and what y'all are saying actually is backed up by all the experts to child development experts.
• 3:39
  Cheryl: I mean, if we wanted to bore everybody, I've got like 10 different experts and what they say.
• 3:46
  Cheryl: about play and the importance of development as children.
• 3:51
  Christie: Yeah.
• 3:51
  Christie: What are just some of the highlights that you could give us?
• 3:54
  Christie: Well,
• 3:55
  Cheryl: it's interesting because it's not just physical activity.
• 4:00
  Cheryl: That's really good.
• 4:01
  Cheryl: But what they really focused on is the cognitive development that it makes and especially the mental and emotional development.
• 4:10
  Christie: Yeah.
• 4:11
  Cheryl: Because Everyone knows, included, children and certainly teens, we have
• 4:16
  Cheryl (2): a mental health crisis in the United States.
• 4:19
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 4:19
  Cheryl (2): And it was really interesting this year.
• 4:23
  Cheryl (2): Um, there was a huge study put out through the University of Florida and rather than saying other factors, they said the loss of play in children's lives.
• 4:35
  Cheryl (2): is a contributing factor to this struggle for their emotional health.
• 4:39
  Cheryl (2): Wow.
• 4:41
  Cheryl (2): That's huge, Cheryl.
• 4:43
  Cheryl (2): It really is.
• 4:44
  Cheryl (2): And it wasn't just three year olds, but they said it's cumulative And
• 4:48
  Cheryl: all the ages..
• 4:49
  Cheryl (2): And part of the factors they, they cited is Uh, much longer school years.
• 4:55
  Cheryl (2): And some are now going to full year.
• 4:56
  Cheryl (2): That's true, full year, yeah.
• 4:58
  Cheryl (2): Longer days, longer years.
• 5:00
  Cheryl (2): They've taken out a lot of, uh, recess and...
• 5:05
  Cheryl (2): Activity time, activity time.
• 5:07
  Cheryl (2): They've dropped a lot of the creative courses like art and music and other kinds of non academics because of budget constraints.
• 5:18
  Ellen: And then a lot of parents might be working.
• 5:20
  Ellen: They don't have time to help their kids with play.
• 5:24
  Ellen: They're in a program instead
• 5:26
  Christie: right.
• 5:27
  Christie: Well, and after school activities can fill the week very quickly.
• 5:30
  Christie: And before you know it, it's.
• 5:31
  Christie: It's time for dinner, bath, bed and then
• 5:33
  Cheryl: homework.
• 5:34
  Cheryl: And they were even, I mean, this was not like a conservative group of parents.
• 5:39
  Cheryl: This is a huge study out of Florida, and it said how much homework there is, because it said, typically
• 5:46
  Cheryl (2): in the past there was very little homework in, Elementary school, a much less kindergarten.
• 5:51
  Cheryl (2): Now, kindergartners are bringing them.
• 5:54
  Cheryl (2): So it's all encroaching on the opportunity for children to play, right?
• 5:59
  Christie: So we are stating it is a swim upstream situation to fight against all the schedules and time to find time to play.
• 6:10
  Christie: Yeah.
• 6:11
  Cheryl: And I know I've kind of We talked about the study, but this was their conclusion.
• 6:15
  Cheryl: If I can just quote it.
• 6:17
  Cheryl: It said, it's not just a recreational activity, but a fundamental aspect of healthy child development.
• 6:24
  Cheryl: It contributes to cognitive, emotional, social, and physical well being.
• 6:29
  Cheryl: Listen to this, providing a foundation for lifelong learning and resilience.
• 6:34
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 6:35
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 6:35
  Cheryl: That's,
• 6:36
  Christie: those are some qualities that we all want our kids or feel like it would be detrimental if our kids didn't achieve these things in their childhood.
• 6:44
  Christie: But it comes
• 6:45
  Ellen: from something as simple as playing rather than structuring this is learning how
• 6:50
  Christie: to do this.
• 6:50
  Christie: Right.
• 6:51
  Christie: So maybe we need to talk about like the difference because it, it feels like kids are always playing.
• 6:56
  Christie: Like, you know, if you just saw a kid's day, you would think, Oh, they're playing all day.
• 7:01
  Christie: So what, let's, maybe we should.
• 7:03
  Christie: Yes.
• 7:03
  Christie: Talk about what does that mean?
• 7:05
  Cheryl (2): Yes.
• 7:05
  Cheryl: What is free play?
• 7:07
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 7:07
  Christie: Alright
• 7:08
  Cheryl: Non adult directed for the most part.
• 7:11
  Cheryl: Free play.
• 7:12
  Cheryl: Right.
• 7:12
  Cheryl: And we're not talking about just three year olds.
• 7:15
  Cheryl: We're also talking about up
• 7:16
  Cheryl (2): through teens.
• 7:17
  Cheryl (2): Mm hmm.
• 7:17
  Cheryl (2): Yeah.
• 7:17
  Cheryl (2): So what would y'all say that versus team and organized sports?
• 7:23
  Cheryl (2): Or classes for kids.
• 7:25
  Cheryl (2): What is, the pros and cons?
• 7:27
  Christie: Well I think, I mean play, when I think of play it's Anything that the kids are having to think about what to do.
• 7:34
  Christie: Like they didn't have something to do and now they do have something to do because they thought of it and initiated it.
• 7:41
  Christie: And
• 7:41
  Ellen: every kid will tell you when you go, go play.
• 7:44
  Ellen: Uh huh.
• 7:44
  Ellen: I don't have anything to do.
• 7:46
  Ellen: Well, you'll figure it out.
• 7:47
  Ellen: And they do.
• 7:47
  Ellen: You give them about five minutes and then they're involved in some, something that's fun for them to do with that
• 7:53
  Cheryl: moment.
• 7:53
  Cheryl: Uh huh.
• 7:55
  Cheryl: I'm just going to throw it in there again, but it's like what we said all the way through on our media series.
• 8:01
  Cheryl: That doesn't mean go pick up your phone, you know, so we're, we're excluding that.
• 8:04
  Cheryl: We're not going to mention again, but that's obvious.
• 8:06
  Cheryl: We don't want them to turn to that We want to do this child initiated or created actually fun.
• 8:13
  Cheryl: Without devices.
• 8:15
  Cheryl: Device free.
• 8:16
  Ellen: I
• 8:17
  Christie: remember one example that, if this is our definition, this would be play, I guess.
• 8:23
  Christie: I was in the kitchen.
• 8:24
  Christie: Doing dishes and doing things in the kitchen, and the kids were outside playing, playing, and they were playing on our Rackety old play set because they played that thing to death.
• 8:36
  Christie: It was like, I mean, it was safe.
• 8:38
  Christie: They were safe on it, but Well used.
• 8:41
  Christie: Yes, well used.
• 8:42
  Christie: And so they come in and I hear the back door thud against the wall and One of my girls comes around the corner.
• 8:47
  Christie: She's like, Mom, quick.
• 8:49
  Christie: We need a laundry basket, some rubber bands, and a ladder.
• 8:52
  Christie: And I was like What are you doing with all those things?
• 8:56
  Christie: I'm not sure.
• 8:57
  Christie: And so if it were, if it had just been the laundry basket and the rubber bands, I probably would have just given it to him and said, let me know what, how it comes out, whatever it is.
• 9:05
  Christie: But the latter, I had to kind of say, why are we needing the latter for?
• 9:12
  Cheryl: You were there supervising, so they were well protected.
• 9:16
  Cheryl: And then I love, but it's child initiated and the creativity, just that.
• 9:21
  Cheryl: Do you know, what did they do with it?
• 9:24
  Christie: Oh, I don't remember.
• 9:25
  Christie: I mean, that was a common occurrence.
• 9:28
  Christie: Yeah.
• 9:28
  Cheryl: You know, so let's go back.
• 9:31
  Cheryl: Let's...
• 9:32
  Cheryl: Contrast that to the pros and the cons of organized team adult directed sports and activities.
• 9:40
  Cheryl: What are the pros of that?
• 9:42
  Cheryl: The pros of the play.
• 9:43
  Cheryl: The pros of the organized team activity.
• 9:46
  Christie: Well, it's, it's cleaner.
• 9:50
  Christie: It sure is.
• 9:51
  Christie: No, I mean, it is, it's More controlled.
• 9:54
  Christie: It feels, it feels a lot more predictable.
• 9:58
  Christie: It's not as messy
• 10:01
  Ellen: And most of the time for a parent, if you're not the supervisor of it, you can just sit back and relax, drop the kids off, sit on the bleacher, or you drop them off, pick them up in an hour and a half.
• 10:11
  Christie: Yeah, you can run down the road.
• 10:12
  Christie: Yeah.
• 10:13
  Christie: Hobby lobby and run back and pick'em up and yeah.
• 10:15
  Christie: It gives you a little bit of, of
• 10:17
  Cheryl: breathing space.
• 10:18
  Cheryl: Right.
• 10:18
  Cheryl: And they're developing specific skills.
• 10:20
  Cheryl: Mm-Hmm.
• 10:21
  Cheryl: rather than a general thing we're talking about.
• 10:23
  Cheryl: Mm-Hmm.
• 10:23
  Cheryl: Mm-Hmm.
• 10:23
  Cheryl: And then you have the social aspect of learning team things which I think is the most
• 10:29
  Ellen: important.
• 10:30
  Ellen: Mm-Hmm.
• 10:30
  Ellen: Because even if they're not really skilled at playing soccer or.
• 10:34
  Ellen: T ball or basketball or whatever, they're learning how to get along with everybody.
• 10:39
  Ellen: They're learning oh, I'm not the best, it's okay.
• 10:42
  Ellen: Right.
• 10:42
  Ellen: Or I am the best, how do I help someone?
• 10:44
  Ellen: I mean, there's so many things they can be learning
• 10:46
  Cheryl: but you know, it's interesting, Ellen, because We played in groups and neighborhood groups and even family growing up and we had to do all of that too.
• 10:56
  Cheryl: You know, I couldn't be the best.
• 10:57
  Cheryl: Well, that's true.
• 10:58
  Cheryl: You know, all of that.
• 11:00
  Cheryl: I agree with you.
• 11:00
  Cheryl: Yes, right.
• 11:01
  Cheryl: I'm saying the dynamics of a group.
• 11:04
  Cheryl: Like, yeah.
• 11:05
  Cheryl: Who's picking the teams?
• 11:07
  Cheryl: And are you gonna be stuck way out in the outfield?
• 11:09
  Cheryl: Who gets to be the
• 11:10
  Ellen: queen?
• 11:11
  Ellen: Yes.
• 11:11
  Ellen: And who is everybody else surrounding them?
• 11:13
  Ellen: Right.
• 11:13
  Ellen: So there's a whole
• 11:14
  Cheryl: power thing there as
• 11:15
  Christie: well.
• 11:15
  Christie: Yes, that's true.
• 11:16
  Christie: Yeah.
• 11:16
  Christie: Well, on a team too, or in a, in an organized activity, they're receiving some instruction from an expert.
• 11:23
  Christie: Yeah, it's true In that, in the area that they're interested
• 11:26
  Cheryl: in and it's directed.
• 11:27
  Cheryl: And also I will say.
• 11:29
  Cheryl: I think there's also, uh, societal expectations in a lot of our culture.
• 11:35
  Cheryl: Your children are not in team sports, but that's perceived as a negative because of the benefits that there are.
• 11:41
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 11:42
  Christie: And there's a lot
• 11:42
  of
• 11:42
  Ellen: competition, right?
• 11:44
  Ellen: Very much.
• 11:44
  Ellen: There's nothing worse about team sports is when mama and papa are the big competitors and the kid just wants to play, but they, you know, they want to make sure the team wins.
• 11:53
  Ellen: I mean, I've been on those things where people have been asked to leave.
• 11:57
  Ellen: The parents have been
• 11:58
  Christie: asked to leave.
• 11:58
  Christie: And I was just like,
• 12:00
  Cheryl: what is wrong with you guys?
• 12:01
  Cheryl: It's just a game.
• 12:02
  Cheryl: But the flip side of that is, um, weren't you telling me about your daughter at nine years old wasn't allowed on a volleyball team?
• 12:10
  Cheryl: Well,
• 12:11
  Christie: I had a nine year old who You know, she started soccer at nine and by time she started the soccer team, these girls had been playing together for years on an indoor and an outdoor team.
• 12:21
  Christie: And so it was hard for her to have an on ramp.
• 12:24
  Christie: She had been dancing for years, so she just decided she wanted to try soccer.
• 12:28
  Christie: And yeah, these girls were.
• 12:30
  Christie: Experts already.
• 12:31
  Christie: It's hard to
• 12:32
  Ellen: find formalized, relaxed team sports.
• 12:36
  Ellen: Yes.
• 12:36
  Ellen: You know, because people just, that's just our bent.
• 12:38
  Ellen: We tend to get competitive.
• 12:40
  Ellen: And so if your kid's not good enough, they're either going to sit on the bench or not be invited or there's going to be some parameters because they want to control that our team's going to win.
• 12:48
  Ellen: And
• 12:48
  Cheryl: so I know parents who go, they're talented We got to get them in early.
• 12:51
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 12:52
  Cheryl: And so they feel that pressure as.
• 12:54
  Cheryl: Do the children all the way through hoping that they'll have a Kevin Durant on the other end or a Messi That's
• 13:00
  Cheryl (2): Pros and cons.
• 13:02
  Cheryl (2): Of organized sports, what some of the benefits you see with child directed play?
• 13:08
  Cheryl (2): Well, I think child
• 13:08
  Ellen: directed is, that's the benefit.
• 13:11
  Ellen: Is that the child gets to determine what are we doing?
• 13:14
  Ellen: You know, what am I doing playing either by myself or in a group?
• 13:18
  Ellen: How are we going to manage the game?
• 13:19
  Ellen: Who gets to do what?
• 13:21
  Ellen: What are the rules of the game?
• 13:22
  Ellen: And those are really good skills rather than being told the
• 13:25
  Christie: rules.
• 13:26
  Christie: They're being creative.
• 13:27
  Christie: They're creating, yes.
• 13:28
  Christie: And innovative in their thinking.
• 13:29
  Christie: Yeah.
• 13:29
  Christie: Yeah.
• 13:30
  Christie: And there, there is that um, Working together.
• 13:35
  Christie: I know, like you said, they get that on a team, but it's a little more organic, I think, in those settings to work together to build the fort or, or decide, you know, how the Lego creation should should be or, um, you know, they have to think about, Oh, gosh, we don't have a piece for this.
• 13:53
  Christie: What could we use instead?
• 13:55
  Christie: So there's lots of critical thinking there.
• 13:57
  Christie: There's cooperation.
• 13:58
  Cheryl: And that's the thing.
• 14:00
  Cheryl: There are pros to organized classes and team sports.
• 14:03
  Cheryl: But I love this, the imagination.
• 14:06
  Cheryl: That there's not stress from something outside the children that they have to meet someone else's standards in this area.
• 14:13
  Cheryl: Right, I think it's where you
• 14:14
  Christie: really start seeing who they are, you know.
• 14:17
  Christie: Yeah, what do you mean by that?
• 14:18
  Christie: Say something.
• 14:18
  Christie: Well, they're, like you said, they're not put under someone else's standard.
• 14:23
  Christie: They're able to reveal their expertise, their giftedness, their thoughts.
• 14:29
  Christie: Because you might see something that they're really strong in.
• 14:32
  Christie: Wow, this, this kid over all the others.
• 14:34
  Christie: Wow.
• 14:35
  Christie: Has this engineer like mind for the fourth building, or this one's more artistic.
• 14:39
  Christie: He always comes up with a beautiful creation in the Legos.
• 14:44
  Christie: You know, sees the art in the geometry.
• 14:46
  Christie: And, and so I think you start seeing those things come out of them a little more rather than them conforming to an expectation.
• 14:52
  Cheryl: Well, and I know how I feel in any kind of a class, exercise class.
• 14:59
  Cheryl: Different from doing something on my own that would be self directed The stress and the freedom
• 15:05
  Cheryl (2): contrasted to Performance direction and there are benefits from being in a class.
• 15:10
  Cheryl (2): But it's, if we just look from the peace and creativity and relaxation.
• 15:17
  Cheryl (2): There's so much more outside of that organized class.
• 15:20
  Cheryl (2): Because even in, like, aerobics,
• 15:21
  Ellen: if you're the one that's off beat,
• 15:24
  Cheryl: Yeah,
• 15:24
  Christie: everyone knows.
• 15:25
  Christie: You leave just feeling bad about yourself.
• 15:29
  Cheryl: Running to the beat of a different drum.
• 15:32
  Cheryl: Okay, so
• 15:33
  Cheryl (2): If we have parents listening And they're kind of going, Okay maybe we're kind of buying into what you're saying here.
• 15:38
  Cheryl (2): But they're thinking of the negatives.
• 15:40
  Cheryl (2): What would you say are some of the challenges that parents might go?
• 15:45
  Cheryl (2): Uh, I'm struggling a little bit with this about what you're talking about.
• 15:49
  Cheryl: play
• 15:49
  Cheryl (2): Well, I
• 15:50
  Christie: can guarantee the first thought in every mom's mind is the mess.
• 15:54
  Christie: Yeah.
• 15:55
  Christie: That's always my thought is, uh, Play Doh and Legos and glitter and all those things are just so stinking messy and it takes time to, you know, get it all out, clean it all up.
• 16:07
  Christie: Right.
• 16:08
  Christie: Um.
• 16:09
  Christie: And there's little control over those scenarios a lot of the time.
• 16:12
  Christie: But I think that's the
• 16:13
  Ellen: fun.
• 16:14
  Ellen: Uh huh.
• 16:14
  Ellen: That's what everybody likes.
• 16:15
  Ellen: And that's just a personal preference.
• 16:17
  Ellen: But if you look at the delight that they're having with no structure.
• 16:21
  Ellen: They're sitting at a table with a whole bunch of different things that they're either building or playing with.
• 16:25
  Ellen: Or they're, uh, making something in the kitchen, and yes, it's messy, but it's only messy for a little bit.
• 16:31
  Ellen: You know, for the, if you look at the delight they've had.
• 16:34
  Ellen: Well, you're seeing the long run.
• 16:36
  Ellen: I'm just saying
• 16:37
  Christie: in the moment.
• 16:37
  Christie: I understand.
• 16:37
  Christie: I understand.
• 16:38
  Christie: But
• 16:38
  Ellen: in the moment, you know, they're making a mess in an hour.
• 16:41
  Ellen: It might take a bit.
• 16:43
  Ellen: to clean it up and you're, you know, that, you know, it's, it's Um, and that meant a big deal to them because they're learning a skill, they're happy that their banana bread turned out okay or whatever they made and you know, those are really important.
• 16:56
  Ellen: You can't, you can't
• 16:57
  Christie: force those, right?
• 16:58
  Christie: But it does take time.
• 17:00
  Christie: Yeah, that you, you know, if you have to be, you know, dance class at five o'clock and the kids got home at three 30, you don't have time for them to go make mud pies and get a bath before you leave.
• 17:13
  Christie: And so the, The messy things are, it takes double the time, you know, and, but, you know, just
• 17:19
  Ellen: natural playing doesn't have to necessarily be messy, you know, teaching your kids, Hey, go in the other room and play around.
• 17:27
  Ellen: Here's your dress ups or here's, you know, why don't you be a pirate?
• 17:31
  Ellen: And then, you know, tell me later what it was like.
• 17:33
  Christie: Yeah, that's
• 17:34
  Cheryl (2): true.
• 17:34
  Cheryl (2): Okay.
• 17:35
  Cheryl: parents We want to acknowledge there are challenges.
• 17:38
  Cheryl: Okay, but we want to convince you it's worth it.
• 17:41
  Cheryl: I mean, there are challenges to having children.
• 17:43
  Cheryl: Right, right.
• 17:44
  Cheryl: They're messy.
• 17:45
  Cheryl: Life is cleaner, tidier, simpler, more controlled if you never have children.
• 17:51
  Cheryl: That is true.
• 17:52
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 17:53
  Cheryl: So we're hoping that we're making a good case for Looking for how this can be incorporated into your lifestyle and life.
• 18:01
  Cheryl (2): All right, so let's go kind through the ages not 1700s, 1800s, how doth thou play?
• 18:09
  Cheryl (2): But let's start with little ones.
• 18:10
  Cheryl (2): Let's just throw out some ideas and parents keep listening because we want to get up to the older ones and give you ideas for how you can bring the stress reliever creativity aspect into their lives because their lives are just going to continue to be more and more and more structured as they get older, right?
• 18:29
  Cheryl (2): Right.
• 18:29
  Ellen: just wanted to add, you're teaching your children a skill.
• 18:33
  Ellen: Which is play.
• 18:34
  Ellen: That is a skill.
• 18:36
  Ellen: And that will last them their whole life.
• 18:38
  Ellen: As adults, sometimes we forget to play.
• 18:40
  Ellen: But we all know for our own mental well being, having play sometimes, I would suggest more than we do, is really, really important.
• 18:47
  Cheryl: And you are backed up by all the experts.
• 18:50
  Cheryl: They all agree with you! And I'm the first one in the family to go, I haven't had any fun yet.
• 18:55
  Cheryl: Let's
• 18:56
  Christie: go have some
• 18:57
  Cheryl (2): fun.
• 18:58
  Cheryl (2): How
• 18:58
  Cheryl: about
• 18:59
  Cheryl (2): zero to three?
• 19:00
  Cheryl (2): Let's do rapid fire on these Okay,
• 19:02
  Christie: well, first thing I think of is something my grandma did with me and my cousins.
• 19:07
  Christie: She always had a cabinet door that was low in her kitchen.
• 19:10
  Christie: That was all the Tupperware and we would sit underfoot and build with the Tupperware and play around with it.
• 19:17
  Christie: And so I did that in my house.
• 19:18
  Christie: And I think the kids loved that space too because it's just so helpful to me when I'm, you know, doing things in the kitchen.
• 19:23
  Christie: But the kids loved it.
• 19:24
  Christie: And so, you know, they, they would build with those and stack them and re sort them.
• 19:29
  Christie: And so it was just as good as any blocks or, yeah.
• 19:34
  Ellen: That's really good.
• 19:35
  Cheryl: And just given the space to crawl around.
• 19:38
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 19:39
  Cheryl: And look at the, it's, of course you have to have your place safe, baby proofed.
• 19:43
  Cheryl: And I'll tell you a little something, parents, that I found out.
• 19:47
  Cheryl: Keep the toys that your grandchildren are going to enjoy playing with.
• 19:51
  Cheryl: Because I know a lot of parents, they just start cleaning out over the years.
• 19:55
  Cheryl: So the kind of things we're talking about.
• 19:57
  Cheryl: Keep them because if you're blessed with grandchildren, you want them to come back
• 20:01
  Ellen: over.
• 20:02
  Ellen: Yes.
• 20:02
  Ellen: I learned that about Legos.
• 20:04
  Ellen: I didn't know from the time my children, who are now in their forties, Legos were fairly cheap.
• 20:11
  Ellen: And then all of a sudden I was like, Oh my gosh.
• 20:14
  Ellen: And I gave away.
• 20:16
  Ellen: A bucket full of Legos and I just was like, I'd ask the kids, do you guys want, no, no, no.
• 20:20
  Ellen: So we should ask me.
• 20:22
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Ellen: I just didn't think about it.
• 20:24
  Ellen: So I had to buy new Legos for the grand kids.
• 20:28
  Christie: I think another thing that's good for that younger age is sensory bins, like having a bin of rice or beans and then having little things hidden in it that they can search for and get their hands in there.
• 20:39
  Christie: And of course you have to sit with them because they might.
• 20:43
  Christie: Um, they love it.
• 20:44
  Christie: They love sorting through all those things.
• 20:47
  Cheryl: And same more sensory as water play.
• 20:49
  Cheryl: One of the things I would do is have them up at the sink and just have the water.
• 20:54
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 20:55
  Cheryl: Just so much fun.
• 20:56
  Cheryl: Oh, forever.
• 20:57
  Cheryl: So creative.
• 20:58
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 20:58
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 20:59
  Cheryl: And I can tell you, the physics of all this, it's so much fun.
• 21:02
  Cheryl: Because I've studied and read what the scientists say, and there's all kinds of physics that are being learned about capacity, how much will fit in this, and why this much water fits in that, or this much rice, and it won't in the larger, whatever.
• 21:16
  Cheryl: You don't even know you're learning.
• 21:18
  Cheryl: No, we aren't aware that their brain is creating, and that's what scientists are trying to say.
• 21:24
  Cheryl: Give them all this freedom to play.
• 21:25
  Cheryl: Right.
• 21:26
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 21:27
  Cheryl: So, that's the littlest ones.
• 21:29
  Cheryl: What about preschool, like three to five?
• 21:31
  Cheryl: What are some more ideas that parents could, uh, use?
• 21:35
  Cheryl: I think it's
• 21:35
  Ellen: still tagging on to what you did a little earlier.
• 21:38
  Ellen: You just add more things to, like, their vocabulary.
• 21:41
  Ellen: You just add more things to their collection of stuff to play with.
• 21:45
  Ellen: Maybe some more dress ups.
• 21:47
  Ellen: Mm hmm.
• 21:47
  Ellen: And, because that Probably the introduction of dress ups and, um, just more objects that they can play with.
• 21:54
  Ellen: They're a little older and they, you know, maybe won't stick everything in their
• 21:58
  Cheryl: mouth.
• 21:58
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 21:59
  Cheryl: And with the dress up clothes, I have two big bags.
• 22:03
  Cheryl: And so we have some things that were actually like costumes that we have in there, but we have All kinds of gaudy jewelry
• 22:13
  Ellen: And old pantyhose.
• 22:16
  Christie: Yes.
• 22:16
  Christie: Great kids love.
• 22:18
  Christie: They love wearing it.
• 22:18
  Christie: It's so fun.
• 22:19
  Christie: They wear them like up
• 22:21
  Cheryl: to here, but it's hilarious.
• 22:22
  Cheryl: And
• 22:23
  Cheryl (2): capes
• 22:24
  Cheryl: and just because you want them to use their imagination.
• 22:28
  Cheryl: Right.
• 22:28
  Cheryl: And if it's all tidy, made up, princess costume bought from Disney.
• 22:33
  Cheryl: Right.
• 22:33
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 22:34
  Cheryl: I can imagine, but what I'm thinking.
• 22:37
  Cheryl: Dress up is all kinds of hats
• 22:40
  Christie: and stuff like that.
• 22:40
  Ellen: When they get the costumes, like from Disney, then they want to play that character.
• 22:45
  Ellen: And that's not imagination.
• 22:46
  Ellen: Right.
• 22:47
  Ellen: They're just copying what they think Snow White would do.
• 22:49
  Ellen: Right.
• 22:50
  Christie: And I think it's good, too, to have some of these things overlapping.
• 22:53
  Christie: Like your dress ups with your kitchen and your stuffed animals.
• 22:56
  Christie: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Christie: Then they start making stuffed animal weddings.
• 22:59
  Christie: And they have to serve the guests.
• 23:00
  Christie: Yeah.
• 23:00
  Christie: And, you know, it all intertwines when they're...
• 23:03
  Christie: And thinking outside of just like you said, the Rapunzel movies, played out by the Rapunzel costume.
• 23:10
  Christie: And we have to say it just like Rapunzel did.
• 23:12
  Christie: Well I remember when my kids were,
• 23:13
  Ellen: you know, just a little out of preschool age, and they all got dressed up, and I said, oh, where are you guys going?
• 23:19
  Ellen: Oh, we're going to the bar.
• 23:21
  Ellen: So my heart's...
• 23:22
  Ellen: And I'm thinking,
• 23:23
  Christie: Why did they say that?
• 23:25
  Christie: So I said, Yeah.
• 23:27
  Christie: What's happening in there?
• 23:28
  Christie: Yes, and I said,
• 23:28
  Ellen: Oh, what kind, what, and I started to ask, what, what do you mean a bar?
• 23:32
  Ellen: Oh, we're going to the salad
• 23:33
  Christie: bar.
• 23:36
  Cheryl: That is hilarious.
• 23:39
  Cheryl: That's fantastic.
• 23:39
  Christie: Well, that's another way play is very reasonable.
• 23:42
  Cheryl: again, things are coming to the surface.
• 23:44
  Cheryl: You know I like two musicals, and one of them is Sound of Music.
• 23:48
  Cheryl: Okay, so the Lonely Goat Herd, like that fantastic marionette puppet stage that they have, you don't have to do that for puppets.
• 23:58
  Cheryl: I would encourage parents, keep it simple, keep it cheap, and you can use a cardboard box or whatever.
• 24:05
  Cheryl: Just move the sofa forward and let the kids do their very, very bad puppet shows behind.
• 24:10
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 24:11
  Cheryl: But just the creativity of it.
• 24:12
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 24:13
  Cheryl: Yeah,
• 24:13
  Christie: I, gosh, I can't, I'm I can't even tell you how many nights ended mom, dad, watch our show.
• 24:20
  Christie: You guys are the audience.
• 24:21
  Christie: Here's your ticket and they'd stand on the fireplace and it's kind of an inside joke.
• 24:25
  Christie: My husband and I, because he loathed sitting through these shows, but he loved his little girls, especially after dinner.
• 24:32
  Christie: Yes.
• 24:33
  Christie: You're ready for the bath and the bed.
• 24:35
  Christie: And yeah.
• 24:36
  Christie: But yes, they've worked so hard rehearsing and making you having the costumes and the props.
• 24:40
  Christie: And, um, yeah, it's it's a labor of love.
• 24:45
  Christie: That's
• 24:46
  Cheryl: very true.
• 24:46
  Cheryl: But you don't have to make a big investment.
• 24:49
  Cheryl: Because what we're encouraging is Let them do the creativity instead of investing in someone else that's contrived it all.
• 24:57
  Cheryl: Alright, and the problem is our time is getting away, So what about the ages 6 to 12?
• 25:04
  Cheryl: They have a lot of energy.
• 25:06
  Cheryl: They can't drive.
• 25:07
  Cheryl: Right.
• 25:07
  Cheryl: So what are some ideas y'all would throw out for them?
• 25:11
  Ellen: Well, Chrissy, you were starting to say that there's kind of the pressure with screens.
• 25:14
  Ellen: Yes,
• 25:15
  Christie: this age is really, I think, where they start gravitating towards screens, and you're having to fight against that urge.
• 25:22
  Christie: And so you, you almost have to really make it worth their attention.
• 25:27
  Christie: You know, you kind of have to fight for their attention at this age.
• 25:29
  Christie: My kid, this is the age my kids love to build forts.
• 25:32
  Christie: They love to play Legos.
• 25:34
  Christie: And, and the more freedom I could give them, the better.
• 25:38
  Christie: Like, they, their imaginations wanted to...
• 25:40
  Christie: build a big fort.
• 25:42
  Christie: You know, they weren't content with just like under the kitchen table anymore.
• 25:45
  Christie: Yeah.
• 25:45
  Christie: And so, you know, I gave them more freedom, not as much as probably what they wanted, but they wanted me to like staple the sheets from the ceilings and sew them together and, um, Legos.
• 25:56
  Christie: They loved Legos at this age to, you know, just have the
• 25:59
  Ellen: free play.
• 25:59
  Ellen: And once they start playing, they do forget about their screen.
• 26:02
  Ellen: Right.
• 26:03
  Ellen: You know, once they get into it, it may take them five, 10, 15 minutes to kind of get their head in gear that, okay, I can't.
• 26:09
  Ellen: play with my screen.
• 26:10
  Ellen: I have to disconnect my brain from it.
• 26:12
  Ellen: But
• 26:12
  Cheryl: because of their maturity, you can do more gardening
• 26:16
  Cheryl (2): They can get into something.
• 26:17
  Cheryl: Right.
• 26:18
  Cheryl: Cooking.
• 26:18
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 26:19
  Cheryl: We talked about that.
• 26:20
  Cheryl: That they can begin to step up on their own with a little bit of supervision, do more.
• 26:26
  Cheryl: You talked more about giving your kids broken clocks and things.
• 26:30
  Christie: Yeah, appliances.
• 26:32
  Christie: They would love to take those apart.
• 26:33
  Christie: I think if you can Let them see you respecting their maturity like you're saying it makes it more appealing because like power tools They're they're starting to get old enough They can use a drill if you sit there and teach them how and or a sander and that feels really cool That's like yeah Talked here.
• 26:51
  Christie: I'm a man now and teaching
• 26:53
  Ellen: your Children to cook.
• 26:54
  Ellen: You kind of mentioned that.
• 26:56
  Ellen: But I made sure that all of my kids by the time they were 12 could be very functional in the kitchen.
• 27:01
  Ellen: And then they got one day a week where they were in charge of cooking.
• 27:04
  Ellen: Now I might have planned the meal, but they had to do the cooking of it and
• 27:07
  Christie: they can contribute and you can help them understand why that might not be a good weeknight idea.
• 27:12
  Christie: Yeah, work them through that.
• 27:13
  Christie: Yeah.
• 27:14
  Ellen: And so that is just a practical.
• 27:16
  Ellen: Then you have a Bunch of kids that can actually cook or at least assemble a meal together if need be.
• 27:23
  Cheryl: All right, so let's move on to the teens because I'm sure people are probably surprised that we're saying, oh yeah, creative play is really important for teens.
• 27:34
  Cheryl: Um, because I would say of all these ages, they're the ones that are struggling the most with pressure, with time.
• 27:43
  Cheryl: With culture, with mental health, and then now they're going to have to start getting a job.
• 27:49
  Cheryl: I mean, there's so much on their plate So what are some things that you would throw out there ideas for parents to encourage off screen, creative, activities for teens?
• 28:01
  Cheryl: Well, I was going to say...
• 28:03
  Ellen: Before the teen years, help your children find a hobby they like.
• 28:07
  Ellen: Yes.
• 28:07
  Ellen: Something they really enjoy.
• 28:09
  Ellen: Because then they can just mature into it in the teen years.
• 28:12
  Ellen: Something that might have been fun when they were six or eight.
• 28:15
  Ellen: Keep working at it, keep working at it, buy the materials that they need.
• 28:18
  Ellen: So then when they're teenagers, they really do enjoy it and they want to go off and work on their project or whatever brings them
• 28:24
  Cheryl: joy.
• 28:24
  Cheryl: Right.
• 28:25
  Cheryl: And I would say mine middle school and high school tried lots of different things.
• 28:30
  Cheryl: Yes, that's true.
• 28:30
  Cheryl: And so you said invest, so we've invest in it and maybe this was whatever certain kind of Mm-Hmm.
• 28:36
  Cheryl: art season for them.
• 28:37
  Cheryl: Mm-Hmm.
• 28:37
  Cheryl: Mm-Hmm.
• 28:38
  Cheryl: their era.
• 28:38
  Cheryl: They did that or whatever.
• 28:40
  Cheryl: They got into work, uh, Woodcraft and that sort of thing.
• 28:44
  Cheryl: Beginning to do something, but.
• 28:48
  Cheryl: Uh, giving them that opportunity.
• 28:49
  Christie: Yeah, it might be, too, kind of peeking into their hearts and and peeking their interest of asking, like, what problems they see in the world that they would like to contribute to if they care a lot about the environment.
• 29:02
  Christie: Maybe they take up gardening or...
• 29:04
  Christie: You know, if they care a lot about children, then maybe they could volunteer somewhere.
• 29:10
  Christie: And it's still a structured activity, but it's outside of the requirements of their life.
• 29:15
  Christie: It's something that does bring them joy.
• 29:17
  Christie: And they want to be there.
• 29:18
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 29:18
  Cheryl: And you know, we talked about art supplies with the little ones, but I think we need to Give our kids these chances, they don't have to be in competitive whatever it is, but give them that and then, uh, make that available.
• 29:35
  Cheryl: Also, there's so many individual sports that you can do.
• 29:39
  Cheryl: That was one of the things we developed in some of our kids, lifelong individual sports that they could do, whether it's biking or whatever, they don't have to be in the competitive area.
• 29:52
  Cheryl: You know, my kids would have loved parkour.
• 29:55
  Cheryl: My older son would have been into this, but two of my kids got into rock climbing.
• 30:01
  Cheryl: Oh yeah.
• 30:01
  Cheryl: And so there are a lot of things to be able to do.
• 30:04
  Cheryl: Let that pressure off.
• 30:06
  Cheryl: Be creative.
• 30:07
  Cheryl: Right.
• 30:07
  Cheryl: And enjoy themselves.
• 30:09
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 30:09
  Cheryl: I
• 30:09
  Christie: feel like that was one of the gifts from the pandemic.
• 30:12
  Christie: I know, I mean, a lot of things were not good about the pandemic, but one of the things that.
• 30:16
  Christie: That came from it for our family was I saw my girls developing interest in reading for pleasure, going on walks, you know, some artistic things, going and laying in hammocks at the park and the things that they, you know, didn't have time for before.
• 30:32
  Christie: It made them look inward and say, what do I want to do with this time to pass the time?
• 30:39
  Christie: It was interesting to me to see those things come out in them.
• 30:43
  Cheryl: I mean, we are fighting to go uphill because the kids lives are so structured and so full.
• 30:50
  Cheryl: Would y'all agree that it's worth it for parents to fight for that freedom for their kids to have these creative, physical outlets, and it doesn't look like the little one's playing.
• 31:04
  Cheryl: TO fight for that for
• 31:05
  Christie: teens.
• 31:05
  Christie: Yeah, well I think, I think the reason maybe we don't sometimes is, is the thought of, I want to keep them busy because it keeps them out of trouble.
• 31:14
  Christie: Right.
• 31:14
  Christie: You know, and I think that's a common thought parents have.
• 31:17
  Christie: But, you know, there's, there's problems with that mindset too.
• 31:22
  Christie: That it's kind of the other side of the coin where if you keep them too busy, that's where we start seeing a lot of the mental health things are, are rooted in over structured.
• 31:32
  Christie: Pressurized, busy
• 31:33
  Cheryl: schedules.
• 31:35
  Cheryl: We've really run out of time, but that's it.
• 31:38
  Cheryl: We're not saying everybody just go run on the streets and play
• 31:42
  Christie: whatever.
• 31:43
  Christie: But in your schedules, schedule some free time.
• 31:46
  Cheryl: What else?
• 31:46
  Cheryl: What would you say, trying to wrap this up for parents, how can we encourage them as we close?
• 31:53
  Cheryl: Well, I think
• 31:53
  Christie: it's, it's like anything else.
• 31:55
  Christie: I mean, we're not, we're not putting out something that's new.
• 31:59
  Christie: It's kind of going back to basics.
• 32:02
  Christie: And it's also not something that we need to be like, Oh, now another thing to do, you know, another thing to worry about.
• 32:10
  Christie: You probably are already doing some of these things, but bringing it to the forefront of your mind and being more intentional.
• 32:18
  Christie: And, you know, just.
• 32:19
  Christie: Making sure you're not out of balance is, I think, the goal.
• 32:22
  Christie: You know, we're not, like we said in our media series, we're not getting rid of screens.
• 32:25
  Christie: That's never going to happen in our lifetime.
• 32:27
  Christie: But being intentional and finding some balance, I think, is all we're trying to say.
• 32:31
  Christie: I really like
• 32:31
  Cheryl: that.
• 32:31
  Cheryl: Yeah, that's good.
• 32:32
  Cheryl: That it is, that we're not wasting time by doing this.
• 32:37
  Cheryl: But we're bringing a really needed, vital component.
• 32:41
  Cheryl: All of science backs up is really healthy for our children.
• 32:46
  Ellen: And parents, you should be doing the same thing.
• 32:48
  Ellen: For yourself, yeah.
• 32:49
  Ellen: Have your thing that's fun for you to do.
• 32:51
  Ellen: Mm hmm.
• 32:52
  Ellen: And, for everybody, it's different.
• 32:54
  Ellen: But then your kids see you modeling.
• 32:56
  Ellen: That's good.
• 32:56
  Ellen: Oh, rather than go, I need time to myself and run off and do something.
• 33:00
  Ellen: You're going, Oh, this is what I do every day or every other day.
• 33:03
  Ellen: I can do it at home.
• 33:04
  Ellen: It's really relaxing.
• 33:05
  Ellen: It brings me joy.
• 33:06
  Ellen: It means cooking.
• 33:07
  Ellen: You might really like that, not just because you have to.
• 33:09
  Ellen: Uh huh.
• 33:10
  Ellen: You know, there's lots of, when I, Didn't have time for other hobbies.
• 33:13
  Ellen: I just decided I was gonna enjoy cooking and I worked on trying new recipes probably three times a week and so that, you know, for me was really fun.
• 33:22
  Ellen: I got to be creative that way.
• 33:23
  Ellen: I
• 33:23
  Christie: love that Ellen.
• 33:24
  Christie: And then the season comes eventually that you have margins.
• 33:27
  Christie: I got a whole art room to the But that's great because then it shows your kids an example of, for one, relationally, they're getting to know more about you when you're sharing what brings you joy.
• 33:41
  Christie: And they're, they're learning contentment that watching you be content in the season of life that
• 33:46
  Cheryl: you're in.
• 33:47
  Cheryl: Or the healthiness that you're doing something besides just work and go, go, go, go, go.
• 33:53
  Cheryl: I'm actually reading a book or I'm going to go take a walk or you want to go and, you know, instead of other structured activities, you might think about these kind of activities to do as a family, that it, it perpetuates mental health, creativity and relaxation and fun throughout as a family lifestyle.
• 34:13
  Cheryl: I love that.
• 34:13
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 34:15
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 34:15
  Cheryl: So parents As always, remember, hang in there.
• 34:19
  Cheryl: Keep loving, keep persevering because it's worth it.
• 34:29
  As we wrap up this rather playful episode, let's reflect on the insights we've uncovered.
• 34:37
  First, as the experts all agree, play has a powerful significance in fostering cognitive, emotional, and social growth for children.
• 34:48
  And parents of all ages.
• 34:52
  I hope you're inspired to infuse more play into your family's daily rhythms.
• 34:58
  Savoring the messy joy that it brings.
• 35:02
  Remember, parents, your role is vital.
• 35:06
  Sometimes you may need to jumpstart the creativity.
• 35:09
  But even more than that, look for how to provide the space and freedom for your children to be able to tap into these long term great benefits of play.
• 35:23
  Especially the older they get.
• 35:26
  So, then what's one way this week that you could support more creative, playful outlets and opportunities?
• 35:36
  For each of your kids, we'd love to hear about it.
• 35:40
  Share with us on our website, social media, or drop us a text at contact at the parenting podcast.
• 35:47
  com.
• 35:49
  Now, although Mariah Carey will not be joining us in the recording studio.
• 35:55
  Next week we start diving into a holiday series, emphasizing how to de stress.
• 36:03
  And at the same time, infuse joy into your family's holiday life.
• 36:09
  Until then, keep playing, keep connecting, and remember, The Parenting Podcast is here to help you flourish and to bring you hope.