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Your Vocation Should Pay For Your Avocations · The Perfect RIA

0:30
Jamie Shilanski: Your vocation should pay for your avocations.
0:34
What does that mean? Your vocation should pay for your
0:37
avocations. Welcome back TPR Nation this is Jamie Shilanski
0:40
in an episode of Worlds to Conquer and I find myself saying
0:44
that to my son Lane more and more these days. He's in his
0:48
early 20s and of course like most young men in their early
0:51
20s he is on fire to go and conquer the world. He wants to
0:55
go scuba diving in Iceland, where you can touch two tectonic
0:59
plates. He wants to go shark diving off of Madagascar. He's
1:02
constantly wanting to dirt bike, he's wanting to do all of this
1:05
high adventurous stuff, but this high adventure stuff is not
1:08
free. It's not free. You have to have equipment you have to pay
1:12
for guide you have to pay for plane tickets. You also have to
1:15
have adequate time off of work. And today in our unharnessed
1:20
world of social media, you see all of these young adults going
1:24
out and living their best life ever. They're going out and
1:26
doing all of these adventures and telling everyone in the
1:29
caption how they too, can make this happen. If they had better
1:33
work life balance, and it's created this false sense of
1:36
reality for people. It's created this sort of sense of
1:41
entitlement that your job should be what fulfills your happiness,
1:45
that your job your career is what should give you that sense
1:49
of purpose and work life balance and be responsible. We are
1:52
making employers more and more responsible for our direct
1:55
happiness. And that blows my mind, because I've worked for
1:59
employers and they can certainly make you unhappy, but for the
2:03
most part, they're not responsible for my happiness.
2:06
I'm responsible for that. It is my responsibility. Your spouse
2:10
can't make you happy. Your kids can't make you happy. Your job
2:14
doesn't make you happy. You have to choose to be happy. And a lot
2:18
of people out there aren't making that election. They're
2:21
not choosing to be happy. And the reason is, most of them
2:25
aren't lazy. We're not talking about a lazy generation of
2:28
people, are there lazy people? Yes, of course there are in any
2:33
civilization and anytime in history, there would be lazy
2:36
people, but for the most part, people want to do a good job.
2:40
People want to put in effort. They want to give their all,
2:44
especially if you're dealing with career minded people now
2:46
people that punch in and punch out on a clock but they are only
2:49
looking at things as a job and exchange of labor for a wage.
2:53
No, that's a different landscape for us in the financial advisory
2:57
space. We're dealing with career oriented people. These are
3:01
people that are like minded for growth, and they care about the
3:05
work that they're doing. And this isn't just a generational
3:09
thing, because I hire a lot of young professionals. You know,
3:12
we've got two in our office or Well, we always go in these
3:15
groups, these batches of individuals. And for a long time
3:19
the youngest people in our office were in their late 20s
3:22
and early 30s. But now those are the older people, and we have a
3:26
young group of under 25 year olds in our office and they're
3:29
not lazy, they're dedicated, they're passionate, they're
3:32
energetic, they want to make a difference. However, however,
3:37
they are not exempt from bringing in all of the energy
3:41
drinks and door dashing things over to the office more than
3:46
they should. In fact I was in the office last week and they
3:48
had DoorDash breakfast and then they DoorDash beverage from a
3:51
convenience store and they all pulled together and they do this
3:54
and about how to connection with it. I started printing out
3:57
salary deferral forms and said okay, if we're door dashing that
4:00
much each one of us should be written inching more and more
4:02
further to maxing out your 401 K plans. Because your future self
4:07
doesn't care about what Redbull you drink today. Your future
4:10
self wants you putting away money and so kind of you know,
4:13
took that mom financial advisory tone and really came down on the
4:17
what I saw as absolutely financial irresponsibility in
4:22
the office, and I know it because I still cash flow
4:25
management with my son and in fact, when he was 16, you know,
4:29
and the rule is if he you know, the golden rule of you are you
4:31
were in the gold do you make the rules, and so he was working his
4:35
job he had to pay for his own stuff. And his discretionary
4:37
he's got to save you know, we did the 8020 rule, so he had to
4:40
tie 10% He had to pay 10% towards his future. He had to
4:44
take care of his bills. But then if money was leftover, then he
4:47
got to spend it discretionarily as he so chose, and how did he
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spend it? How did this young man raised in a clan of financial
4:56
advisors between his uncle and his grandfather and me and
5:00
everyone? How did he choose to spend his money at the
5:04
convenience store gas station, and just epic parent failure?
5:09
And it hurt me so bad that he said, Hey, you get it, I get a
5:11
choice. I get to, you know, go fill up my tank with gas because
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he's running back and forth to his job. And so he's going in
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and he's buying a cheeseburger and a hamburger and chips and
5:19
drinks and all of the garbage that they serve you inside of
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the gas station, and we sat down and we were going through it and
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he can afford it. He was tithing. 10% he was he was
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putting more than 10% into his K plan. He was putting his bills
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first and he had discretionary dollars. This is how he was
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voting with his discretionary dollars, but it hurt my
5:38
financial planning soul to the core. And so I finally sat down
5:42
with him and I said okay, I fed you organically. We don't do a
5:46
lot of sugar. We don't do a lot of eating out fast food but you
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clearly you're going in this stage where your highest caloric
5:51
intake in this in the food you're craving that's fine. You
5:54
earn the money you could spend the money how you choose but it
5:57
is breaking my heart that you're doing it at a convenience store
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where you're paying, you know double what this stuff really
6:02
costs. Would you please just stop by Walmart and pick up all
6:05
the energy drinks and snacks that you want to pick up? So we
6:08
got a good laugh out of that. But as he comes into this
6:11
profession, and as his peer group begins to change and
6:14
they're coming into their profession, we have a lot of
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talks about your job is not your responsibility to be your only
6:20
source of happiness. Now, could you find happiness from your
6:23
job? Should you find happiness from your job? Yes, but it's
6:26
nobody's responsibility to make you happy at the work you're
6:29
doing. And a lot of times in this country in the United
6:32
States of America, we do something completely tragic to
6:35
people, we tell them go out and find your passion. Go out and
6:40
live your dream and find your passion and that is the pursuit
6:44
of what you should be doing as a career but find a way to make
6:46
money out of it so that you can forget why you loved it in the
6:50
first place. Do you know what type of people tell you to go
6:54
pursue your passions? Grandparents and billionaires.
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That's who tells you to go do that. Everyone else that still
7:02
raising you, your parents, your you know aunts and uncles, those
7:06
in the working class. Those that are entrepreneurs. You know what
7:09
they tell you go outwork everyone. You don't. My first
7:12
piece of advice from a multimillionaire was when I
7:14
first got my financial planning designations. He said show up
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before everyone else leave last outwork everyone. Don't you dare
7:21
let anyone outwork you and you'll become successful and
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guess what? He was absolutely right. You can't outwork me. I
7:27
do more before noon and most people do in two days worth of
7:31
time. Why? Because I'm constantly honing in my time
7:35
management and my skills. I've also begin develop and I'm no,
7:39
I'm better than most but I'm nowhere near a master of
7:42
delegation, which is a big saver. You want to find the
7:44
people that are super successful and affluent, they delegate they
7:47
buy back there time. And it's a weird concept, right? Because
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especially in my early 20s, where this group of young
7:53
professionals are today, you've got more time than you have
7:56
money. So you know what you need to be doing your own
7:59
maintenance, you need to be doing your own house cleaning,
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you need to be doing your own laundry, you need to do those
8:03
things. You can't afford to go and delegate but at some point,
8:06
you're gonna hit a tipping and when you hit that tipping area,
8:09
you need to be able to delegate those tasks because I can pay
8:12
somebody to clean my house for $100 a day and go earn that in
8:16
this hour's worth of time. I can do things that I cannot delegate
8:20
out to other people. So when I'm doing something for any of the
8:23
five businesses that I'm involved with, it's because
8:26
nobody else can do it the way I want it done. Now, here's an
8:29
important distinction about that. That doesn't mean they
8:32
can't do it. They just can't do it the way I want it done. Now,
8:35
a lot of times people will say to me, yes, but it takes so much
8:38
time to teach somebody how to do this. I would be far better
8:41
suited if I just did this task myself. Well, of course you
8:44
would be that one time, that one time. But if you go do it 10
8:50
times, then think about all of the time that you've wasted by
8:52
not taking the time and educating somebody else. So
8:55
becoming this master of delegation. So I can buy my time
8:59
back to go do recreational things. And the recreational
9:03
activities that I love to do with my spouse in my family are
9:06
critical to my success. They are critical to my success, because
9:11
I must refill my cup. I must refill my cup and where I see
9:17
most professionals go wrong. And this was hard. It's tough,
9:20
especially when you're a young adult and you are working eight
9:23
to five and then you're taking time off of work to go study
9:26
afterwards to maybe get some higher learning some higher
9:29
education, a different designation, and then you get to
9:31
that Saturday and Sunday and you've got this limited block of
9:34
time we can tack on Friday night to that. So if you're in this
9:37
young adolescent stage, what happens Friday night what
9:40
everyone wants to do. They want to stay up late. You want to
9:43
stay up late. It's Friday night. We
9:45
don't have to work tomorrow. We don't have to be up at 5am. We
9:49
don't have to be up at 6am We're gonna stay up late. And so what
9:54
you did to your circadian clock is you just jacked it and now
9:58
it's all out of whack. So you stay up until 1am. And then
10:03
there is a small very, very small our Chief Operation
10:07
Officer at Shilanski and Associates our RIA up in
10:10
Anchorage, Alaska. She falls in this demographic, but there's a
10:15
small group of people that can stay up late and then just
10:19
continue to sleep the next day. She can stay awake until 1am and
10:24
she can sleep until 1pm but if I stay awake till 1am What time
10:29
does my circadian clock wake me up 5am. 5am. That's what time I
10:33
get up. That's what time my body knows it's time to go. It's time
10:38
to conquer it's time to move on. With our day. And so if I stay
10:43
up until 1am on a Friday night, man, I am tragically tired by
10:47
10am the next day, because I'm still going to get up I'm still
10:52
going to do things. I'm not much of a Napper. A lot of people do
10:57
that and because I take a little more. I'm super tired especially
11:02
as much time as I sit on my computer sometimes or reading,
11:06
I'm an avid avid reader. So I might listen to an audiobook and
11:11
just close my eyes alumni is you know, ward off that fatigue. One
11:15
of our coaches told Micah one time espresso nap, so you get a
11:20
shot of espresso. Go ahead and take that and then lay down for
11:25
20 minutes. And by the time that caffeine hits you, you've
11:29
already had this little cat nap if you will, and your body is
11:33
raring to go. So that's a little hack that we do sometimes we'll
11:38
do that in between meetings in Surge. So if we wrap up out of
11:43
one, and we're in time, it's enough time to do something but
11:47
not enough time to do a big something. So we might go ahead
11:52
and take a little espresso nap and get ourselves recharged for
11:56
that so that we have the endurance and stamina to get
12:00
through the rest of Surge. And remember, Surge is a time block
12:05
period in which we do nothing but focus on delivering massive
12:09
value to clients and seeing our appointments back to back in a
12:14
concentrated fashion. Much like a surgeon runs an operating day
12:19
you have clinical days and you have operating days. So if we
12:23
were surgeons we are in that surgery suite and that is what
12:28
we are doing. But when we are not necessarily in the operating
12:32
room, we are recovering in the best ways possible. And that's
12:37
why we have to treat our weekends. That's how we have to
12:41
treat our blocks of time off when we go into the month of
12:45
July in Alaska. There is no greater place in the world to be
12:50
you want to plan a conference and have zero attendance for
12:54
Alaska plan in July. Why it is luscious green the rivers are
12:58
flowing. They are a think God while while subject to a little
13:03
bit of debris and pollution. We have a lot of it here. We have
13:08
such a small population of around 700,000 people. And so we
13:12
get out into these places. And I mean, you could go and not see
13:17
another person for as long as you wanted to. And that is an
13:21
incredible part plus a Sockeye are running and when you care
13:26
about people putting up Alaska fish for the wintertime is
13:30
normally the sockeye, the coho that we're after. It runs about
13:34
it's a 10 to 15, maybe 20 pound fish, but each fillet gives you
13:39
about five pounds of meat. It's a little more oil, it's a little
13:44
thinner meat and it just grows up really nice and comes in by
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the 10s of millions of coho hit our rivers streams every single
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year. So we are all out there fishing and putting away and
13:57
getting ready for winter and being part of that, you know,
14:02
hunter gatherer kind of lifestyle that appeals to most
14:06
Alaskans. And so July is a huge recovery month for us. Why is it
14:11
an entire month does that mean we do no work? No. Absolutely.
14:15
Not. That means we're strategic about the work that we're doing.
14:20
And just like on your weekend, when you're jamming out and
14:24
you're thinking you're so focused Monday through Thursday,
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then Friday, you kind of start taking you out of high gear and
14:33
putting you into lower gear and then you jack your schedule up
14:38
by staying up all night and you give the next day and you're not
14:42
running at 100%. And then what are we doing? We're doing all of
14:47
the chores on Saturday, we're doing the lawn maintenance,
14:51
we're doing Gosh, birthday parties, the three o'clock
14:55
birthday party, so you have no time to do anything because it's
15:00
in the middle of the day. And so then our whole day is skewed
15:05
around doing all of these other things. And then Sunday, what do
15:09
we have to do? We got to come home, we got to do our laundry
15:14
and our house cleaning. We got to tidy up we got to get ready
15:18
for the rest of the week. We do not spend enough time
15:22
strategically focused on our recovery and our recovery is
15:27
just as important as our grind. If you do not know how to
15:31
recover, you will not sustain growth. I told you in the
15:35
beginning nobody outworks leave but does that mean every single
15:40
day I wake up feeling fierce and conquering. Okay, mostly. No,
15:44
I'm just teasing you. I don't wake up today feeling fear. Some
15:49
days. I know my body is saying hey, you better chill out. You
15:53
better recover. You better give me some nutrients. You gotta get
15:58
that bone broth go and you gotta get outside. You've got to do
16:03
something to refill your cup and take you out of high gear. I
16:07
want to sustain I want to be enduring. And in order to do
16:12
that in a way for me to give away a lot of my energy and
16:16
that's what a lot of my focus is on is giving other people my
16:20
energy so we can get big things done then I've got to know how
16:25
do I refill my cup. So when is the last time you you have sat
16:29
down and said what really refills my cup? What really does
16:34
it so for me I love hanging out with kids. I really really enjoy
16:39
it. Not necessarily infant baby because they don't have a lot of
16:43
personality coming in. But I love sort of that three to eight
16:48
year old category where the life is full of wonder you don't have
16:53
to go buy anything. They just want your time. You know and we
16:57
will go on hikes and we will you know get out specimens from the
17:02
riverbed and look on the microscope and see what's out
17:06
there. My spouse and I for reasons that still escaped me
17:10
yesterday took two to four year olds and two pups out fishing
17:15
and gale force winds here in Alaska. And those little four
17:19
year olds fish until we told them we were done. They didn't
17:23
stop they didn't get bored. They didn't get annoyed and nobody
17:28
got hooked, which was a miracle in its own. But they fished for
17:33
two hours straight because as soon as we got there my spouse
17:37
is a master fisherman and ended up hooking into the pike and
17:42
then got the four year old over there really it up and it was
17:46
incredible. And of course the tug is the drug so as soon as
17:51
they had one on they had to get more and they just fish through
17:55
so baby guts out and to hear their excitement and their joy
18:00
and their laughter and you know as my niece Ayla she's really
18:04
not to her friend. Okay, you standing on the other edge of
18:09
the dock and you hear on the video go: This fishing is really
18:13
tricky. Says bewilderment about life and wonder and joy. That
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doesn't mean but what does that for you? Is that is that biking?
18:22
Is that golf? Is that hiking? Is that just taking two hours to
18:27
read your favorite book on the patio? Like what do you have to
18:32
do? To get the time and especially ladies, I am speaking
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to you that does not mean cooking for the entire family
18:40
that does not meen cleaning the house for the entire family.
18:44
That does not mean going to see mom and dad that does not mean
18:49
showing up at the recitals and doing all of the extra stuff.
18:54
What refills your cup? What time out of the week are you carving
18:58
to for just you and don't tell me it's grocery shopping?
19:03
Because that's not just for you. You're not grocery shopping just
19:07
for you. You're buying more than wine and popcorn. You're doing
19:12
it for everyone else in that household. So when it comes at
19:16
what time are you in? A lot of people say well, I can't do that
19:21
because I haven't these kids. I have my husband blah blah blah.
19:26
I don't know you're talking to you but I love hanging out with
19:30
men. And then tell me all the time how much they wish their
19:35
wives would carve out time stop feeling that they have to be
19:39
there for everyone every second out of the day and go I have
19:44
husbands that call me and say oh my god, get her out of the
19:48
house. Take her kayaking, go biking, go hiking, go do
19:52
something. I've got the kids. It's no problem. Just go. Just
19:57
remember what it's like to have fun and be silly and be around
20:01
people that are asking anything of you other than your presence.
20:06
And so we give ourselves a lot of reasons why we can't. But we
20:11
give ourselves no reasons why we can go do these things. The
20:15
worlds your world will not fall apart if you take one or two
20:20
hours out of the week and do something exclusively for
20:24
yourself. If you've got an iPhone, you've got settings
20:28
where you could have just important things call in
20:31
important messages. You could set it up to say Hey, Mom, wife,
20:36
whoever you are those people that you love most and do
20:40
everything for I am out of communication for the next hour
20:44
and a half. If you need something call your other
20:48
parent. Call your grandparent call your aunt, call somebody
20:52
else other than me as long as it's not an emergency. You have
20:57
to set that up for yourself and you know what's going to happen
21:02
when you do that your family is going to rejoice. They might be
21:06
inconvenienced the first one or two times, but the energy that
21:11
you bring back the level of positivity you're going to bring
21:15
home with you is worth so much more than you answering a phone
21:20
call about where so and so's jersey is at and if you are
21:24
listening to this and shaking your head and saying yes that is
21:29
my wife that is my wife to a tee. She will not listen to me
21:33
she will not do these things. Then share this podcast with her
21:38
have her call me up I'm gonna tell her she's got a lot more
21:42
time in her day than what she thinks she has. And does that
21:47
mean everyone stops wanting things from her? Nope, sure
21:51
doesn't. But it does mean we start teaching other people to
21:55
be more self sufficient. It does mean we start establishing
22:00
boundaries because what happens gentlemen when our wives don't
22:04
do that, when wives don't establish boundary and they
22:08
don't carve out time for themselves, and they just allow
22:12
all of this to stack up. They become absolutely unbearable to
22:17
deal with and they have all of this aggression and it's no
22:21
longer about what happened that day. But it's about all of these
22:26
layers that have been stacking up and stacking up and stacking
22:31
up inside of them. Until they finally break and have some sort
22:35
of major meltdown about how you're not helping enough. But
22:39
they haven't told you what you need to do. And ladies, I know I
22:44
get it. I hear it all the time we couples right. It's I
22:48
shouldn't have to tell you to do the laundry. I shouldn't have to
22:53
tell you to help me make dinner. Well guess what you do? You do.
22:58
We're wired differently. Men are very black and white. If I need
23:03
help from a guy, I don't say Hey, is it possible? I say hey,
23:07
I need you here at this time. Can you do it? Yes or no? And I
23:12
leave a yes or no into that. If I need even I'm talking to my
23:16
son. Hey, I'm working late tonight. Please have dinner
23:20
done. Okay, great. Is there anything you want in specific?
23:25
Nope, Open Pantry, you decide. Okay, done. Dinner's done. You
23:29
have to be very direct and specific. And with women, we
23:33
rely on each other to be intuitive. And when we're
23:37
raising daughters, we're so annoyed that they're not picking
23:41
up on that intuition and just doing things naturally are
23:46
annoyed that they're coming to us with questions that they need
23:50
to know, because we're raising them to one day be in our
23:54
position to have to answer everything to everyone. These
23:59
are all choices. These are all choices, you know, 20-30 years
24:03
ago, like it might have been longer than that. What is that
24:08
book? Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Does this apply
24:12
to every single man and every single woman out there? No, it
24:17
doesn't. But for the most part it has a lot of truth to it.
24:21
stereotypes have a lot of truth to them. That's why they become
24:26
stereotypes. But we have to recognize that we have to
24:30
embrace it. We have to empower us. We have to be our best
24:34
selves and we cannot be our best selves if we are grinding out
24:39
keeping things held in every single day of our lives every
24:43
single minute. We are trying to be something to someone else.
24:47
And I see this in the men, especially the big business
24:52
owners that I know. They try so hard to be like strong and
24:56
successful and take care needs, problem solving in their fire
25:00
putting out and they're doing all of these things until one
25:05
day they just slap they just snap because every single day is
25:09
multi decision and they hit decision fatigue where they
25:13
don't care. They don't want to have to make another decision.
25:18
They need to be doing something fun for themselves. So if you're
25:23
running a practice, regardless of which gender you are, you
25:27
need to be adapting these principles. And once you've
25:31
adapt them once you've dedicated yourself to recovery, because
25:36
remember, I told you, your vocation should pay for your
25:40
avocations you should grind so hard professionally that you're
25:44
able to become the best and whatever you choose to be. So
25:49
you can go do the things you want to go do with your
25:53
discretionary dollars. Do not fall victim to chasing your
25:57
dreams and passions and making money out of it until you forget
26:02
why you dreamt and why you're passionate about it in the first
26:06
place. If you find that you're like super excited and you love
26:11
what you do great bonus, awesome. And I'm not saying
26:15
commit yourself to being miserable, but find other ways
26:19
to stop always looking for your occupation, or your employer to
26:23
be directly responsible for your happiness. You get choices in
26:28
this life. This is a choice. You must make a choice. TPR Nation,
26:33
we are all about giving you action items that you can take
26:37
right now and change the way that you operate your business,
26:42
your employees and your life. So right now I want you to think
26:46
about this. When's the last time that you did a self assessment
26:51
for ways that refill your cup? What ways refill your cup when
26:55
do you get the most joy? When are you planning? I've got a big
27:00
wall calendar. In fact, I was just confirming today before I
27:05
started, I was dealing with a guy that I do some business and
27:09
social things with and I said Hey, before we kick off this
27:13
business, when have we planned this side by side trip up to
27:18
conduct glacier and he said, Oh, it's gonna be on this date. Oh,
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wonderful thing. So I just want to get it on my calendar. So
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we're intentional about planning those times. I'm intentional
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about planning my recovery tasks. I don't break down and
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get burned out and somebody gets a less of me. Second thing, your
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spouse, your life, your family, who are you surrounding yourself
27:45
with? Where are they applying these techniques? How are they
27:50
doing this in their own lives so that they can continually be
27:54
their better selves towards you and who in the rest of the
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family. This is so critical is a conversation we don't have until
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a fight ensues and we need to we need to safeguard and protect
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the people we vowed and made a promise to love, honor and
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cherish. This goes part of that. This goes into the self
28:17
recognition of saying hey, we got a lot going on this week.
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What do you need from me? How am I of greatest help to you during
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this process? Hey, I see this whole month is playing it out
28:30
with family vacations and sporting events. God forbid they
28:35
do a sporting event like softball or baseball and then
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it's every single weekend. What do you need from me and you know
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what, maybe I'd take over this one and you go and refill your
28:48
cup. Why don't you go plan, whatever date with your
28:52
girlfriends go drink on a porch, go to a spa, go on a bike ride,
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whatever this is that we feel is your cup. You go do that and
29:01
I'll be here and you want to talk about transformational
29:05
change in your relationship. implement this, implement that
29:10
safeguard your spouse's time, like you showed your own,
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safeguard their time and be a proactive part in finding
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solutions so that they don't have these massive breakdowns.
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I'm not saying that they wouldn't have breakdown for
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something else. I'm just saying that this is helpful in this
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capacity. All right, TPR Nation. This is Jamie Shilanski in an
29:35
episode of Worlds to Conquer. Go find people who share your
29:40
values and change the world.