Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what type of nut are you?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what type of nut are you? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Here's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: KFM Mornings, Okay, gather around, It's time for the very
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: important questions for the country, all right.
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: Very important, the ones that they fear to ask at
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: the madlunga commission. Not you though, no, so brief how
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: many questions will ask this morning? Shouldn't give me a gift?
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: People are a bit wiped out from all the mets
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: this morning. They said this was a this was a
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: bumper Monday mets.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: We're not used to doing that.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: I think, yeah, that one might actually move the needle.
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: So look, no, no, no mess, just to throw a
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: random number at the no addition, multiplications.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Stretch, just a number.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, nine none, welcome back, Lawrence, Okay, whatever, tim welcome.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: Give us remains eight questions eight to produce a bread
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: none nine questions are well done.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Stop copying Rectify's deductive reason Yeah.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: That that's a real big, big phrase, that hashtag deductive reasoning.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: English classes tomorrow today? What what? What's what's the next subject?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Just just for like for KF mornings, Coding.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Science, I fear science science.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Where do you will you make the.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: Food, then home economic.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish I took homemade.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: Damn it.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: If I could go back homemade, sign me up.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I mean back when I was in high school, they
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: offered needlework, which is coming back actually crochet. Yes, you know,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: doing all kinds of things, so gentlemen need work.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: I took homemaking the trick.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah you passed. Yeah you made a proper there.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I made a path drop technical drawing, and I
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: took home made. My final was a trifle, to make
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: a trifle. I don't think you could fail that, the trifle.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: It's impossible to fail making a trifle. No one knows.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I guess it's an a.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: You put sponge, then put jelly, then sponge, sponge from scratch,
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: make the sponge, make the chill, make the crystals. But
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: once it's mixed and no one knows what it is. Okay,
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: we'll we'll, we'll work on the next subject um to
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: get somebody in there for but senseless survey. That's where
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: we are right now. Okay, no more takers on the
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: WhatsApp telephone. Let's see the very important questions plaguing this country.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Good morning, he feel I'm calling you from the senseless Bureau.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: And unfortunately on your latest census for me, you didn't
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: fill out all the questions, so I need to go
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: to them right now with you. It'll take you about
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: thirty seconds. Okay. So if somebody says you are nuts,
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: what type of nut do you think you are?
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Catsuring that?
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: Ma'am? Do you think that an hour feels a lot
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: longer than only four point of your day? Yes? I
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: should they make it so that if you don't indicate,
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: your car cannot turn in that direction.
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: What would be your top three weapons in a food fight?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: In a food fight, yeah, it will be my meat,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: my potatoes, and piso and.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: Piso is the hardest part of being a vegan coming
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: home drunk and having to eat celery.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Sticks that I'm not sure about.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Why do people always remember where they were when someone
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: famous was killed? Do they perhaps feel they needed an alibi?
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I think they did feel that they needed an alibi?
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: How many seconds on average does it take you to urinate?
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: How many seconds on on average.
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: Doesn't take me to urinate?
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Yes? Ten seconds?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Man?
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like you're a mermaid but the world
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: treats you like a snook?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Snook?
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: I thought the put down question was going to be
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: the urinate.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: No, but that really got me thinking.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Question.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: I don't know if that's long or short.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I think that she's rushing.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: That's short.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: She needs to slow down. Calm down, my sister. You
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: don't have to be in a rush all the time.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Give yourself a minute because you think you're done after thirty,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: but are you really that drop?
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially after a certain age, that's to be mindful of.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: The true is it's like a coffee percolator. Karen. I
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: feel like I'm just making.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Just advice because for you, because the yeah.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: And yeah, it comes, you know, unexpectedly at some age. Yeah,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: grip drop.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Guys sharing bathrooms with men and the way they tinkle
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: when they sprinkle, you're sweete wipe the city time.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: That's that's in every grannies bathroom if you tinkle when
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: you know, yeah, a minute, should give yourself time. No, man,
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: that because your tank Okay, but it's not that's like
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: that's like training jojo do you like only go once
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: a month? But then you're just you wait, you know.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Why why can't you just take some time? Yeah, he's
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: laughing at you as you are the problem.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: My sister problem a minute.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Probably thirty seconds, but then you are.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Sixty seconds in the broom.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: Or you are worth take your time, my brother relaxed.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: Important these questions, you see, the important debate that it stimulates, ladders.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Are and the strain across the country.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: Tread ye, take your proceeds.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, okay, thank you for that.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Theren that's start. You know what, it's my absolutely pleasure.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: It's my absolute pleasure.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, life changing.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Some would say, okay, he's gonna win. Let's go get
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: the party started. It's pink on KF. Morning's twenty six
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: minutes after eight o'clock. All right, time for the wheel
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: of joy. Good morning, yaku. Yes, are your brother good?
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: You are in Worsters here, Yes, sir, that's that. Seems
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: like it's a beauty of a little resort coastal town,
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: but it's not. It's it's yeah in the city, right yeah,
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: it's just just north of and just underneath the club. Gotcha,
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: Worcesters here. I've never heard of that place in my
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: life now as a resident here, Sherlin, have you heard
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: of Worcester? No?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I have not.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: I thought.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I also can't believe that has never know.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: I haven't, and it says yea near Perrol North.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: It's very common. I've never heard of it. I can't
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: believe that you haven't. I'm happy that you did not
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: even foreign at all.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: Okay, so yeah, yeah, yeah, Yahoo, it's right across hospital. Okay, Okay,
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: worster Okay, So how many questions did I ask you?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: You asked nine?
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: That's a correct answer. Okay. Let's play for a prize
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: from a small business here in the Western Cape. We've
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: got a Bruno Mars vinyl record. Okay, yeah, look, it's
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: very very niche.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: What else is on the wheel?
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: If you do win that, I won't give it to
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: you because it will be a waste. We've got a
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: dining experience for two. We've got oh, we've got voucher
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: to Cubana. We've got a woman now at Liberty to
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: from Olivia Gray.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I think the din and it really is such a
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: gorgeous experience, Billy of the Beast. Worth three.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: We've got tickets. We've got all sorts of things. So
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: let's just spin and see what you get.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Good luck?
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: Okay, how do you want to spin it fast to slow?
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: Left or right? Let's go fast, left, fast and left,
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: Let's go Oh yes it would you believe it had
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: landed on the Bruno Mars record. But as I said,
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: if we, if we, if you win, that we will
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: retract it. So um, pick something, pick something, uh good,
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: take the dine out for two, dinut for two. It
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: is all yours with a one peering at Billy of
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: the Beast. This is estimated at three and a half
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: thousand ran yaku. That is one awesome dinner date proper, Yes,
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: fantastic restaurant.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, enjoy it.
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: Eh, hey, thank you guys so much.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: Man, I appreciate it. Please you take someone special here. Yeah, okay, that's.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: My business, but yes, someone will be taken.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: On a day.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: Well look you go in and enjoy your dinner at
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: the Belly of the Beast. All right, yacky, appreciate it.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Thank you very much, Thank you for listening. Thanks very much, sir, Cheers,
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: Bye bye.
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: Belly of the Beast is part of the Belly group
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: of restaurants and offers an intimate dining experience on Harrington
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: Street in the heart of Cape Town. There's no traditional
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: menu and no need to make any choices. Simply arrive.
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: Trust the chefs and enjoy a surprise tasting journey shape
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: by seasonal ingredients, South African flavors and a little bit
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: of nostalgia. Book your experience at Bellyofthebeast dot COSA or
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: follow us on Instagram at Belly of the Beast, under School,
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: ct KF M
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Mornings with Darren Sherlett Sibbs and you