Latest / Are You An Avoidant? / Green Flags Avoidants Misread as Beige

Transcript

Green Flags Avoidants Misread as Beige · Are You An Avoidant?

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, so last week we told you the five signs
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: you might be the avoidant. And the inbox exploded. Hundreds
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: of you scored four out of five and said, quote,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: this is literally about me, unquote. So today we are
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: flipping it. Today is about the good stuff. The green flags.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: The healthy behaviors that avoidants look at and go, meh, beige, suspicious.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Suspiciously healthy. My favorite genre of complaint. Hi, besties. I
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: am Sasha.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: And I'm Chloe. And if a man remembering your coffee
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: order has ever made you uncomfortable, stay. This episode is
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: an intervention with jokes.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Hello, my loves. Welcome back to Are You an Avoidant?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: New here. Here is the deal. Chloe is a reformed avoidant.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I am her anxious bestie, and I read attachment research
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: for fun. Every week, we take one dating pattern, roast it.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: explain the psychology, and hand you the exact words to say.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: To our day one besties, thank you for putting us
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: in your rotation. The reviews are making me feral. Someone wrote, quote,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Chloe is the friend who will hold your hair and
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: your boundaries, unquote, framed. That is going on my wall.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: In this episode is perfect company for your hot girl walk,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: your everything shower, your doom scroll with purpose. Just keep
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: us playing.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Before we get into it, follow the show. Share it
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: with one friend who calls every green flag, quote, love bombing, unquote.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: You know her. She is great. She is also wrong.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: She is listening right now, going, this is literally about me. Hi, girl.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Stay. Real quick, if you love the show, support keeps
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: us going. You can join the supporter club right in
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: your podcast app or find us on Patreon for early
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: access and exclusive stories. Links are in the show notes. Okay,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: story time.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Story time names changed. There is a girl. Let us
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: call her Tala.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Let us call him Green Flag Greg. Because Greg is
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: about to be insufferably healthy. And Tala is about to
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: be so annoyed about it.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Tala meets Greg at a co-working space. He's 30. Employed.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Has a therapist. Says, quote, Let us do dinner Friday.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I know a place. Unquote. On the first conversation, decisive, warm,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: no games.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Red flag number one. He knows what he wants. Terrifying.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Continue. Prustate. He arrives early. He asks questions, and then,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: get this, he remembers the answers. On date two, he
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: texts after, quote, had a great time. Would love to
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: do it again next week, unquote. Clear. Kind. No 48-hour rule.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: No games.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: No games is exactly the problem. Where's the chase? Where's
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: the anxiety? Tala told us she felt bored. Bored on
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: a perfect date with a hot employed therapist having man. Bestie,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: that boredom is not information. That boredom is withdrawal.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Say more about that because this is the core of
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: the whole episode.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, when your nervous system grew up on inconsistency, maybe
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: love was unpredictable at home. Maybe every ex was a project.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Your brain wires excitement to anxiety. Butterflies equal uncertainty. Calm
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: equals nothing happening. So a secure man feels boring the
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: same way water tastes boring after a lifetime of energy drinks.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Water tastes boring after energy drinks. Chloe. That is the
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: title of the episode. Somebody write that down.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Anyway, Tala almost ended it after date two. She told
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: her group chat, quote, he is great, but I feel nothing, unquote.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: And the group chat, bless them, said, quote, maybe the
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: spark comes later, unquote. But Tala's gut said no spark,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: no point. So she came to us. And besties, the gut.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: We need to talk about the gut.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: The gut problem. Your gut is not a magic oracle.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Your gut is a pattern-matching machine trained on your past.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: If your past was chaos, your gut will call. Chaos
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: chemistry and calm boring. The gut is a historian, not
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: a psychic.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: The gut is a historian with trauma. It keeps recommending
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: the same restaurant where you got food poisoning because, quote,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: the ambiance was exciting, unquote.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Researchers have a boring name for this, and I love
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: it anyway. Your attachment system calibrates to what is familiar.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Studies on relationship patterns keep finding. The same thing, people
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: recreate the emotional climate they grew up in even when
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: it hurt. Familiar feels like fate. It is just repetition
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: wearing a costume.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: So Tala's gut said no spark, but what Tala actually
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: felt was safety for maybe the first time. And safety
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: felt like nothing. Because nothing bad was happening. No decoding.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: No waiting. No, quote, what does this emoji mean, unquote,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: at one in the morning?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: This is why avoidants misread green as beige. Green is steady.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Green is clear. Green texts back. And a nervous system
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: tuned for static hears a clear signal and assumes the
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: radio is broken.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: The radio is fine, bestie. You are just used to static. Okay,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: enough theory. Let us rate some flags. I have a list.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Nine green flags. We are going through all of them,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: and I am giving each one a score out of
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: ten and a verdict on whether an avoidant would find
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: it suspicious.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: The flag rate. Flag one. He has a solid bond
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: with his folks, mom especially. Roots matter.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: 10 out of 10. Non-negotiable. A man who calls his
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: mother is a man who learned that love is maintenance,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: not emergency response. Avoidant verdict, suspicious. Quote, why is he
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: so close to his mom? Is he a mama's boy?
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Unquote.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: No, Tyler, he is regulated. There is a difference.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: There is such a difference. Flag two. He has hobbies. Hiking, books, guitar,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: he has layers.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Not at a 10, doc, one point, because if the
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: hobby is, quote, day trading, unquote, we are leaving. A
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: man with a life is a man who will not
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: make you his entire personality. Avoidant verdict, also suspicious, but
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: for the opposite reason. Quote, he does not need me.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: He has a guitar, unquote, good. You want someone who
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: chooses you, not someone who needs you to fill a Tuesday.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Flag, Gary. Gym or sports? Discipline shows.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Eight out of 10. Hot and healthy. Avoided verdict. Quote,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: he will judge my lifestyle. Unquote, he will not. He
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: is too busy doing meal prep to judge your midnight
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: pants at flag four. He cooks.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Or at least tries. Oh, this one is personal for me.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: A man who cooks is a man who plans, provides,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: and cleans. That is three green flags and a trench coat.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Bullet out of ten. Broke the scale. Avoidant verdict. Quote,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: he is trying too hard.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Unquote.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: He made pasta. Bestie. The bars is on the floor
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: and you are mad he brought him up.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: He brought him up. Flag five. Clothes are clean and neat.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Self-respect shows.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: 7 out of 10. Baseline, but make it fashion. Avoidant verdict. Quote,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: he is high maintenance. Unquote. Wearing clean shirts is not
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: high maintenance. Your ex wore the same hoodie for a
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: month and you called it mysterious. Recalibrate.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Back with flags six through nine. Flag six. Pet in
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: the pick. Empathy on point.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Ten out of ten. A man who keeps something alive
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: on purpose. A creature depends on him and thrives. That
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: is the whole reference letter avoidant verdict. Quote, he loves
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: the dog more than he will love me, unquote. Possibly
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: true for the first month and on his sleeve. Peace,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the dog has tenure.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: The dog has tenure. Flag seven. Faith is part of him.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Values grounded.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Not uptight. Assuming the values include kindness and not just rules.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: A man with a moral center does not need you
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: to be his conscience. Avoidant verdict. Quote, he will judge
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: my past. Unquote. A grounded man does not audit your history.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: He just wants to know who you are now.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Flat eight. Friends are kind, funny, polite. He has good
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: taste in people. 10 out of.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: 10, show me his friends and I will show you
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: his future. Kind friends mean he picks well and keeps well.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Those are relationship skills wearing a friend costume. Avoidant verdict, quote,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: his friends will not like me, unquote. They will like
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: you if he likes you. Because secure people do not
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: run friend group background checks like immigration.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Immigration. Okay, flag nine, the last one. Motivated. He has drive.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: 8 out of 10, ambition is hot when it includes
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: you in the future tense. Listen for quote you unquote
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: in his five-year plan. If it is all quote I unquote,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: that is a yellow flag in a green costume. Avoidant verdict, quote,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: he is too busy for me, unquote. Busy men with priorities,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: make time. It is the unmotivated ones who are quote
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: too busy, unquote, while playing mobile games for six hours.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: So that is the full nine. And the pattern across
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: all of them, every single green flag can be misread
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: by a nervous system. trained on chaos the work is
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: not finding flag year men the work is recalibrating.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: The reader recalibrating the reader tattooed on my forehead okay
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: receipts next Sasha science me Story time is over. Science
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: time is here. Sasha, hit us with the receipts.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Receipt 1, 1990. Researcher named Simpson studied 144 dating couples
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: and found that avoidant people feel fewer positive emotions and
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: more negative emotions in their relationships. Same partners, worse filter.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Avoidance literally edits out the Good stuff. The green flags
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: are there. The brain just does not log them. The
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Valencia filter of attachment.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: We said it last week and we are saying it
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: again because it is true.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Receipt 2. Studies on deactivation strategies keep finding the same toolkit.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Focus on small flaws. Mentally rehearsing exits. Keeping options warm.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Nostalgia for exes who are objectively worse. Every one of these. Activates.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Hardest right when things get good. The better Greg behaves,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: the louder the toolkit gets.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Which explains Tala wanting to end it after a perfect date, too.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: The toolkit opened, the flaws were unavailable, Greg is annoyingly flawless.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: So the brain went with, quote, no spark, unquote, the
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: final boss of excuses. Unfalsifiable, devastating, wrong.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Receipt three, the hopeful one. Research on earned security shows
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: that people... can and do shift towards secure patterns. Awareness
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: plus steady practice plus ideally. A secure partner who stays
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: boringly consistent, Tala. Reading this pattern in herself is step one.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Dating Greg anyway is step two through 50.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Deed him anyway. That is the whole prescription. Your gut
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: says boring. Your brain now knows boring means safe. So
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: you override the gut with the data. like an adult
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: with a podcast education.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: That's the standard disclaimer because we love you. We are
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: not therapists. This is patterns, not diagnoses. If any of
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: this cracks something open, a real professional is the move.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Therapy is hot. We have stickers coming, allegedly.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: The stickers are real. They are just also avoidant about shipping. Okay,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: quick break in the action. If this episode is rewiring
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: your brain a little, support is what keeps us going.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: supporter club in your podcast app, or Patreon for early
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: access and exclusives across all the shows. Links in the
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: show notes. Now, scripts.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Scripts that work. Real sentences for real situations. Situation one.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: You are on date three with a great person and
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: you feel the boredom, panic, the urge to end it
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: over nothing. Text yourself first, not them. Quote, I feel
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: bored because I feel safe. That is my pattern, not information.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I am going on date four.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Text yourself, journal with extra steps. I love it.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: When it meant two. You want to tell him you
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: are working on this without trauma dumping on date three?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Say this. Quote, I really like how this is going.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I can be slow to warm up even when things
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: are good. So if I seem quiet sometimes, it is
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: not about you. Consistency helps me a lot.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: That script is so good it should be illegal. Honest, kind,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: gives him the manual. Men love a manual. Situation three.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Your friends say, quote, just follow your gut, unquote, and
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: your gut says leave a good man. Tell them this. Quote,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: my gut was trained on chaos, so I am running
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: a two-week experiment where I stay and observe instead of deciding.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I will report back with data.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Stay and observe. The scientific method applied to situationships. Peer review.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Situation 4. You stayed. It has been a month. The
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: safe thing is starting to feel good, tell him. Quote,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I want you to know, I notice how steady you are,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: and I really like it.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: That is it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Reward the green flag out loud. Securemen also need to
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: hear it. They are not houseplants.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: They are not houseplants, although Greg probably has plants. And
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: they are alive. Because Greg commits to things, including photosynthesis.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, new segment energy. It is shout-out time. Every week
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: we shout out two shows from the Color Juice family
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: that you should be listening to.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: First up, if you love overthinking your relationships, you will
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: love overthinking everything else too. So go check out the
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: shows in the More From Color Juice section of our
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: episode description. Two new picks every single week.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: And remember, this show, plus all our sibling shows, exist
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: because listeners support them. Same links, show notes, you know
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: the drill. Speaking of support, this episode is brought to
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: you by Upboot, the music library for creators, and Willow,
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: the writing partner that helps you get the words right.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: We love tools that help creators make things. Go check
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: them out at the links in our description.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Listener Mail.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: You.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Rodan. We read everything. Names change to protect the guilty.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Letter 1. Quote Dear Besties. He texts good morning every
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: day and it gives me the ick.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Every day.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Without fail. Good morning with a sunrise emoji. I know
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: this is insane. Why does consistency annoy me? Signed, Sunrise Hater.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Sunrise Hater. Welcome. You are the mayor of this episode.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: The sunrise emoji annoys you for the same reason Greg
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: bored Tala. Your nervous system reads steady affection as pressure.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Every good morning is a tiny reminder that someone expects
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: you and expectation feels like a leash.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Here is the reframe. He is not demanding a reply.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: He is just greeting the day, At you, the ick
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: is information about your wiring, not his worth. Try this. Reply, quote,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: morning uncoat. One word, no emoji required. Watch how nothing
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: bad happens. Do it for a week, data overdread.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Data overdread. Somebody embroider that on a pillow?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Letter two, quote, hi, Chloe and Sasha. My boyfriend planned
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: a weekend trip for a third month. Flights booked, hotel booked,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I cried. Not happy tears, panic tears. I said yes
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: and then could not sleep for three days. What is
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: wrong with me? Signed, booked, and stressed.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Nothing is wrong with you. A booked trip at three
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: months is a commitment object. You can see it. It
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: has a confirmation number. For an avoidant brain, that is
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: not a vacation. That is a deadline. For feelings. You
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: are not sure you have yet.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: A deadline for feelings. The accuracy. Okay, booked and stressed.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: Here is what you do. You go on the trip.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: And you tell him before you go, quote, I am
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: excited and a little nervous because this feels big. And
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I wanted you to know that instead of acting weird
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: about it. That sentence will save your whole weekend.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: And letter three. Short and devastating. Quote. He introduced me
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: to his friends, and I felt trapped the whole dinner.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: They were lovely. Why did I want to leave? Signed,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: plus one and done.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, this one.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: Being absorbed into his world makes the thing real. Friends
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: mean witnesses. Witnesses mean accountability. The situation ship had no paperwork,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: and now suddenly there are dinner guests. Of course you
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: wanted to leave. Your brain was like, quote... We were
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: just vibing. Why is there a seating chart?
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Unquote. What I would tell plus one. The trapped feeling
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: peaks the first time and fades every time after. Exposure works.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Go to the second. Dinner and the third. By the fourth,
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: his friends are your friends and the trap becomes a
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: group chat. That is how secure people are made. One
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: dinner at a time. Bestie verdict time. Chloe, takeaway.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: The takeaway is this. Green flags are real. They are everywhere.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: And if you keep missing them, the problem is not
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: your eyesight. It is your training data. Retrain the reader.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Date the Greg. Reply morning. Go on the trip. Let
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: the good thing be good.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: And if you are the Greg dating someone whose reader
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: is still training, stay steady. Stay clear. Do not chase.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Do not withdraw. Just keep being boringly wonderful. You cannot
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: rewire someone. But you can be the safe data point
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: their system learns from.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Be the safe data point. Beautiful.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, next week.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: We are going deep. Dismissive versus fearful. Which avoidant is he?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Or are you?
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: The locked door versus the revolving door. You do not want.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: To miss it. If this episode found you, share it
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: with one person. Your situationship, your group chat. Your situationship's
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: group chat. Spread the word like gossip.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Follow the show, leave a review with your green flag score,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: how many of the nine made you suspicious. Be honest,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: mine and my villain era was all nine. And remember,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: we are perfect company for your hot girl walks and
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: your staring at the ceiling wondering why consistency feels illegal.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: One last thing. Supporting the show is what keeps episodes
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: like this coming. Supporter club, Patreon, links in the show notes.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you for keeping us going, besties. I am Sasha.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I am Chloe. And we will see you next week.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Texting back. The stars. Ash. Azavis. Hams. Stell.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: TTC.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Didvar. Hade.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: The sunrise emoji is innocent. Good night, besties.