Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 22: The Intersection of Marginal Gains & Your Delulu Era
Transcript
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome to Crafted Connections.
- 0:07SPEAKER_00: I'm Kaelin Calhoun, and this is a podcast all about storytelling and building genuine community.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: Here we'll dive into the art of storytelling, unpack strategies for making meaningful connections, and hear from incredible humans who are using their story to create impact.
- 0:23SPEAKER_00: So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's craft some connections.
- 0:30SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome back to Crafted Connections, y'all.
- 0:34SPEAKER_00: Always great to have you.
- 0:35SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I say the same dang thing every week, but I mean it nonetheless every week.
- 0:40SPEAKER_00: It's so wonderful to be speaking to your earballs and to have you as a part of this community that I'm cultivating in the uh in the internet waves, the uh the airwave, the pod waves, if you will.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: Happy September.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: So excited to kick off the podcast in the fall.
- 0:57SPEAKER_00: I'm a big fan of fall, but also I'm a big fan of summer.
- 1:00SPEAKER_00: I'm a big fan of spring.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: Uh I just I love the uh seasonal nature of all things.
- 1:04SPEAKER_00: I'm from the Midwest, so it's just nice to see, see the change.
- 1:08SPEAKER_00: The weather just like as soon as September first hit, was like, we're here, we're ready.
- 1:12SPEAKER_00: And I forgot how much I love the fall weather in the marina.
- 1:20SPEAKER_00: So feeling really, really jazzer sized by that for sure.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: But anyways, I want to tell you about today's podcast episode.
- 1:28SPEAKER_00: So we're we're doing a solo, we being me and you listening, right?
- 1:32SPEAKER_00: We collectively, we're making it happen, and I'm gonna talk about the intersection of marginal gains and the Dululu era, which I've done both.
- 1:44SPEAKER_00: And it's finding a balance between the two.
- 1:46SPEAKER_00: Before we jump into that, I I want to give you a few updates as far as like what I've been up to, what's going on, all that jazz.
- 1:52SPEAKER_00: I just wrapped two weeks of productions.
- 1:57SPEAKER_00: If you've been keeping up, I've been working on recruitment videos for the city of Bloomington, and that's been so absolutely like just soul filling and spending time with people.
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: I'm just very I mean, just straight up, I'm telling the stories of everyday folks and what their life is like and why maybe you'd be interested to be, you know, to play a part in in what they do on a daily basis.
- 2:21SPEAKER_00: But it comes down to like what are their stories, what are their experiences, and then those stories connecting with people, you're like, ooh, maybe that's something I want, or maybe you feel inspired.
- 2:32SPEAKER_00: And so it's like that for these recruitment videos, but then it's that times whoever needs their story told.
- 2:38SPEAKER_00: Yeah, its schedule is pretty jam-packed, but uh the weather was absolute perfection.
- 2:43SPEAKER_00: We got to be outside like half the time, inside half the times.
- 2:46SPEAKER_00: The day would start off at 55 degrees, wouldn't go over 72.
- 2:50SPEAKER_00: I gotta wear my cute suit set that I bought uh for my birthday, and it was magnificent.
- 2:57SPEAKER_00: So I'm coming off of that, feeling a lot of joy.
- 3:00SPEAKER_00: Ended up taking last week off the pod because of that, right?
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: Uh the first week I did a little, if you've heard them, I do uh little cuties on the weeks that I'm just uh jam-packed lady.
- 3:11SPEAKER_00: And the first week, there's really only one day of shooting, but a lot, a lot, a lot, lot of logistics and emails.
- 3:17SPEAKER_00: So I did a little cutie.
- 3:18SPEAKER_00: And then the second week, I had four days of like 10 plus hours.
- 3:21SPEAKER_00: So I was like, it's okay, we take a little breather and we actually do the work that we're being hired for, right?
- 3:27SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so I'm grateful that I get to be back on the pod this week and grateful to be enjoying September post a gosh, such an enjoyable job.
- 3:37SPEAKER_00: Uh, such an amazing team to work with.
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: Now I get to dive into the edits, which is, you know, obviously also some of my favorite stuff.
- 3:44SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say it's my favorite part, but I love all the parts.
- 3:47SPEAKER_00: I love all the parts.
- 3:48SPEAKER_00: I love having such a variety in my life, and I love talking to you all.
- 3:52SPEAKER_00: So I really can't lose, and that makes me really, really happy.
- 3:57SPEAKER_00: Happy, happy, happy.
- 3:58SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, let's dive in to today's episode.
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: Okay, so those folks who don't know, so we're talking about the intersection of marginal gains and the Dululu era, or your Dululu era, whatever you want to call it.
- 4:16SPEAKER_00: So the marginal gains, I'm defining that here as kind of what James Clear speaks about in his book, Atomic Habits.
- 4:24SPEAKER_00: So in atomic habits, I mean it's a self-help book, right?
- 4:26SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot of like tricking your mind.
- 4:28SPEAKER_00: And rather than deciding, I have this outcome, set the goal on this outcome, you are being like, what are the action items that someone who has this outcome does, right?
- 4:40SPEAKER_00: Rather than me being like, I want a thousand Instagram followers, I would say, I want to go to events and literally ask people to follow me on Instagram, right?
- 4:51SPEAKER_00: I want to directly message people and be like, I love your stuff.
- 4:55SPEAKER_00: Let's follow each other.
- 4:56SPEAKER_00: Like the actual action items that get the result versus saying a random result.
- 5:01SPEAKER_00: And in that, he talks a bit about marginal gains.
- 5:04SPEAKER_00: And again, this is all my definition.
- 5:06SPEAKER_00: So forgive me if you're like, that ain't it.
- 5:08SPEAKER_00: But marginal gains, it's it's the 1% improvement on a regular basis or a daily basis, right?
- 5:16SPEAKER_00: If you just improve 1%, the exponential growth that you experience is bonkers and lovely.
- 5:24SPEAKER_00: There's a beautiful chart to this.
- 5:25SPEAKER_00: I will link it in the show notes.
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: That's what we're talking about marginal gains.
- 5:28SPEAKER_00: But then this is where I have lived all my life, the second part, which is the Delulu era.
- 5:33SPEAKER_00: It's been a very popular thing online, I believe.
- 5:35SPEAKER_00: And people are just like, the unhinged things I did to build my business, like the Dululu stuff I'm doing that I believe is gonna happen, right?
- 5:43SPEAKER_00: So you set like a majorly large scary goal, and then you take big swings.
- 5:48SPEAKER_00: You take big, massive swings.
- 5:50SPEAKER_00: And they're both beautiful.
- 5:52SPEAKER_00: Marginal gains, Dululu era, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful things.
- 5:56SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of that balance between being a realist and a dreamer.
- 5:59SPEAKER_00: So with that all being said, a few weeks ago, in the midst, this this cracks me up because it's classic me.
- 6:05SPEAKER_00: In the midst of this like thick, thick as all get out production time, I was like, ooh, I will do a quick recording of my five biggest business mistakes ever, right?
- 6:18SPEAKER_00: I wrote them in my journal a few weeks ago, they're in there.
- 6:21SPEAKER_00: I can just talk about them real quick, right?
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no, no.
- 6:25SPEAKER_00: I tried to start recording it, and oh my gosh, it was absolutely just devastating to like relive it out loud because I am still healing from those experiences.
- 6:38SPEAKER_00: I am still processing those.
- 6:41SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite specialists on personal branding is Jessica Zwag.
- 6:46SPEAKER_00: I love, love, love the lady.
- 6:48SPEAKER_00: And she quotes a mentor of hers: show your scars, not your wounds.
- 6:52SPEAKER_00: And whenever I'm trying to push myself a little too hard to be extra vulnerable and maybe I'm not ready to be vulnerable, I always think of this.
- 6:59SPEAKER_00: Showing yourself with like a cut open wound, bitter, unprocessed feelings, all that, it's not time yet.
- 7:05SPEAKER_00: It's not time yet.
- 7:07SPEAKER_00: It's a great thing to show that stuff.
- 7:09SPEAKER_00: It's a great thing to process that stuff, to share that stuff, to help people like learn lessons from experiences that you've had, right?
- 7:17SPEAKER_00: You've learned the lesson by experiencing it.
- 7:19SPEAKER_00: It's lovely to share those lessons with people and share the stories of that.
- 7:22SPEAKER_00: I mean, all about how like stories not only connect us, but they also teach us a lot.
- 7:26SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, what's the moral of the story, right?
- 7:29SPEAKER_00: But if sometimes when you're still processing, you don't know the moral of the story.
- 7:33SPEAKER_00: And here I was doing exactly what the phrase, show your scars, not your wounds, tells you not to do.
- 7:40SPEAKER_00: I was showing the wounds that I'm still processing.
- 7:43SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, it's two years after the fact, and we we get mean with ourselves about that.
- 7:48SPEAKER_00: How it takes, you know, oh, I'm taking too long to process this.
- 7:50SPEAKER_00: Is that it's like, it takes as long as it takes, girl.
- 7:52SPEAKER_00: You have to take your time through it.
- 7:54SPEAKER_00: You have to really, really let yourself be supported around it, sit with it, allow yourself to be bitter by yourself, maybe in a small, comfy community.
- 8:04SPEAKER_00: Feel free to express those things.
- 8:05SPEAKER_00: Maybe have an anger ceremony.
- 8:06SPEAKER_00: That's something that I would love to get out into the middle of a field and start screaming, but that absolutely scares me.
- 8:13SPEAKER_00: Uh, anyways, all to say, we've got all these feelings.
- 8:16SPEAKER_00: All these feelings that I have around my business, around finances, my goal setting.
- 8:22SPEAKER_00: And I'm just, me and my family are just, just a little hair beyond the like recovery of that.
- 8:29SPEAKER_00: I've been like, ooh, okay, we're in a great place.
- 8:32SPEAKER_00: We're in a great place.
- 8:33SPEAKER_00: We're never going to go back to the scarcity experience that we've had over the last few years, but we are a hair over it.
- 8:43SPEAKER_00: I can still feel all of it.
- 8:45SPEAKER_00: And I hope I never stop remembering the feeling.
- 8:49SPEAKER_00: But it's it's not time yet to start exposing these things because it's still not yet a scar.
- 8:55SPEAKER_00: My nervous system's not ready for that.
- 8:56SPEAKER_00: I wanted to speak to that and share that as we dive into this topic.
- 9:01SPEAKER_00: Because when it comes down to it, that's the intersection that we're looking at.
- 9:05SPEAKER_00: So I'm not ready to share that stuff, right?
- 9:08SPEAKER_00: But when I looked at it, when I was sitting there and processing, you know, whatever, the the list of call the five things, five busy biggest mistakes, blah, blah, blah.
- 9:17SPEAKER_00: I realized it all stemmed from what I classified as my Dululu era.
- 9:21SPEAKER_00: What I classified as like me just taking big, big, big, big, big bold swings into the abyss, not knowing anything, swings that my nervous system wasn't necessarily ready for, goals that I was like, these are way too major, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
- 9:36SPEAKER_00: And I'm proud of myself for it.
- 9:38SPEAKER_00: I am proud of myself for it.
- 9:40SPEAKER_00: And it was an era.
- 9:43SPEAKER_00: An era that resulted in consequences, consequences that left me scared to set goals.
- 9:51SPEAKER_00: Now I want to disclaim this before anybody decides now's the time to turn this episode off or you don't make it to the end of the episode.
- 9:58SPEAKER_00: I want to disclaim that I'm a huge supporter of a Dululu era.
- 10:01SPEAKER_00: I will have them in the future.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: Literally, this episode is helping me process so that I can have future seasons of Dululu because I am a dreamer.
- 10:10SPEAKER_00: I always have been a dreamer, I always will be a dreamer.
- 10:12SPEAKER_00: That's like little Caitlin inside of me.
- 10:15SPEAKER_00: She is a dreamer and she can't be stopped.
- 10:18SPEAKER_00: And I would be a sad person if I wasn't dreaming.
- 10:20SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I want to give that disclaimer as we continue.
- 10:24SPEAKER_00: So, with that all being said, I now find myself dancing in the balance between big dreams and I'm gonna use air quotes, realistic dreams.
- 10:34SPEAKER_00: But what does that even mean, right?
- 10:36SPEAKER_00: Like what is actually a feeling or sense of safety?
- 10:39SPEAKER_00: Because we're being real.
- 10:40SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I just said this.
- 10:41SPEAKER_00: I'm a dreamer, always have been, always will be.
- 10:44SPEAKER_00: And in recent years, you know, I have been licking my wounds and was blaming my dreamer self for said wounds.
- 10:50SPEAKER_00: And I'm, you know, I'm trying to reconnect with that silly, playful me.
- 10:53SPEAKER_00: Your girl's silly.
- 10:54SPEAKER_00: I love a silly billy moment, a silly billy life.
- 10:57SPEAKER_00: And we're just gonna try and expand that as much as possible, always, because it's it's such a fun way to live.
- 11:03SPEAKER_00: It's so fun.
- 11:04SPEAKER_00: And there's no reason why the Dululuness can't be a part of that.
- 11:11SPEAKER_00: Hey y'all.
- 11:12SPEAKER_00: You know I love telling stories, gathering stories, and finding a way to help people connect their story with the people that will get it.
- 11:20SPEAKER_00: And that's what my story strategy sessions are all about.
- 11:23SPEAKER_00: So over at Calhoun Creative Consulting, my strategic storytelling firm, we do one-on-one and or facilitated workshops in relation to really honing in the strategy around your story.
- 11:35SPEAKER_00: It's a bit of messaging, meets content creation, meets storytelling, and then how do we put that out in the world?
- 11:41SPEAKER_00: How do we show up regularly?
- 11:42SPEAKER_00: There's a bit of mindset work around it, right?
- 11:44SPEAKER_00: To actually tell your story, whether you're launching something new or trying to rework your brand or just feeling a little foggy on how to communicate with your people.
- 11:51SPEAKER_00: This is how to get clear.
- 11:52SPEAKER_00: We'll dig into things like your narrative, how to uncover what matters most, maybe map out a few content pillars while we're at it.
- 11:58SPEAKER_00: You'll also get a recording of our session so you can revisit the conversation anytime you like.
- 12:03SPEAKER_00: Let's shape a story that actually feels like you.
- 12:05SPEAKER_00: So book yours today.
- 12:06SPEAKER_00: There is a link in the show notes.
- 12:08SPEAKER_00: And hey, while you're at it, use the code podcast, all caps, podcast for 25% off your session.
- 12:16SPEAKER_00: I would be honored to spend time with you and suss out your story.
- 12:20SPEAKER_00: Let's dive back into the episode, shall we?
- 12:24SPEAKER_00: I allowed myself for a season to really get Dululu, and then that resulted in a lot of consequences and experiences and lessons that I needed for future experiences and future endeavors.
- 12:36SPEAKER_00: But now I'm looking at it and seeing myself two years post all that, realizing I'm still processing a lot of it, but thinking about how I can balance marginal gains with the Lulu era energy.
- 12:47SPEAKER_00: And I think it's super fun.
- 12:48SPEAKER_00: And what's making me think about it a lot recently is currently the winnings for the Powerball lottery here in the US is$1.4 billion.
- 12:56SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it's ever been that big, but that's that's a shit ton of money.
- 13:01SPEAKER_00: That's so much money.
- 13:03SPEAKER_00: And I don't think that your financial advisor would be like, that's how you do it.
- 13:06SPEAKER_00: That's the best way to make that money, right?
- 13:08SPEAKER_00: But why am I bringing this up?
- 13:10SPEAKER_00: Because I was having a conversation with some friends, one of whom is literally responsible for managing, you know, people's finances when it comes to investments, this, that, and the other, and and making sure that that those marginal gains happen.
- 13:22SPEAKER_00: And I've been thinking a lot about what would it look like to actually win the lottery?
- 13:28SPEAKER_00: We don't have to talk about the 1.4 billion.
- 13:31SPEAKER_00: I know after you know speaking with this friend that a mere 300 million will be just fine.
- 13:36SPEAKER_00: Most of us can't even dream big enough or like comprehend what that actually looks like.
- 13:41SPEAKER_00: Like, what would that experience even be like?
- 13:43SPEAKER_00: And I'm a big fan of taking yourself down that road of dreaming what you would do with all that flipping money, all those flipping resources, like letting yourself feel that abundance and also applying the realistic approach.
- 13:57SPEAKER_00: And that's why I was talking to this friend, right?
- 13:59SPEAKER_00: Because we've got the we've got this plan.
- 14:00SPEAKER_00: Phil and I will rehearse this, right?
- 14:02SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't buy lottery tickets all the time, but we will every once in a while just for for kicks and fun.
- 14:07SPEAKER_00: Maybe if we're having a desperate weekend, you know, what's$10 going towards the ticket?
- 14:13SPEAKER_00: But then that's the the point, right?
- 14:14SPEAKER_00: There's like the marginal gains of like if we invested$10 every weekend for the rest of our lives, could do some damage.
- 14:20SPEAKER_00: And we don't actually need lottery winnings, but I digress.
- 14:23SPEAKER_00: The fun part about all of this, Phil and I do this thing where we rehearse what the plan would be.
- 14:29SPEAKER_00: You can't experience those big Delulu experiences if you are not ready for them.
- 14:34SPEAKER_00: And that was something too to go back to my Dululu era, my expansion of my business, a lot of different things.
- 14:40SPEAKER_00: I wasn't ready for the amount of support, the amount of attention, the amount of eyeballs, so many things about it I was not prepared for.
- 14:49SPEAKER_00: I did not rehearse it, I wasn't ready, and I was just trying to move it like this intense, rapid pace.
- 14:55SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing.
- 14:56SPEAKER_00: When I buy a lottery ticket, like I know right now, this moment, my nervous system is not prepared for that.
- 15:02SPEAKER_00: I've been having great conversations with friends about it.
- 15:05SPEAKER_00: The friend that I just mentioned who shared, once people get past what I would do when I win the lottery, once people get all of those things out of their system, a lottery winning changes your lineage, like what the generation following you is able to do and what they need.
- 15:20SPEAKER_00: And there's just so much to it.
- 15:22SPEAKER_00: But I think what I'm trying to make the point about is balancing big flipping dreams with how would those dreams actually play out?
- 15:34SPEAKER_00: What are the actual like little baby steps that you need to take?
- 15:38SPEAKER_00: Another example.
- 15:39SPEAKER_00: I am working on my course.
- 15:41SPEAKER_00: I think I've mentioned documentary on the podcast before, documentary, Y O U, taking your story, collecting your raw materials, compiling those materials into shareable information and content, and then connecting with your people, whatever platform that may be, whether it's in person, on the socials, we don't flip and care.
- 16:00SPEAKER_00: It's just important to put it out there.
- 16:02SPEAKER_00: So collecting, compiling, connecting your story to the world.
- 16:05SPEAKER_00: I believe in this so much.
- 16:08SPEAKER_00: And I let myself get caught up left, right, and center about the details.
- 16:11SPEAKER_00: I'm getting too realistic about it.
- 16:13SPEAKER_00: What would happen if I just play?
- 16:16SPEAKER_00: Just like you don't win the lottery without buying a ticket, I don't launch this course without building the course, without recording a lesson, building a worksheet, telling people about it.
- 16:25SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't happen without the next step, which is the that balance.
- 16:29SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I believe that this course will like be so impactful.
- 16:33SPEAKER_00: I believe that it will really help people see themselves so that they can show themselves.
- 16:39SPEAKER_00: But if I don't make it, if I don't buy lottery ticket, how does it succeed?
- 16:43SPEAKER_00: How does it change people's lives?
- 16:45SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 16:45SPEAKER_00: Because once you get past air quotes, all your needs from your lottery winnings, you know, you get to quit the job, you get to, you know, buy the the dream house, whatever, then what?
- 16:54SPEAKER_00: Then what are you gonna do to like impact like our planet's flippin' future?
- 16:59SPEAKER_00: And I don't know.
- 17:00SPEAKER_00: I just I it's something that I've just been pondering a lot.
- 17:02SPEAKER_00: So I hope that you can think about that for your own life.
- 17:05SPEAKER_00: Marginal gains versus big ass swings so that you can be a little bit Dululu.
- 17:10SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that actually look like for you?
- 17:11SPEAKER_00: What comes to mind when I talk about your Dululu era?
- 17:14SPEAKER_00: Like, what is something you're too afraid to think to yourself, right?
- 17:17SPEAKER_00: You've thought it when you're like waiting in line at a coffee shop while you're taking a shower, while you're driving.
- 17:22SPEAKER_00: Like it's popped into your mind, and you say, mm-mm, no more.
- 17:25SPEAKER_00: Shove it down.
- 17:26SPEAKER_00: That is popping up right now in your mind.
- 17:28SPEAKER_00: I know it is.
- 17:29SPEAKER_00: And and like, how does your nervous system feel when I talk about these big Delulu things?
- 17:35SPEAKER_00: When I talk about$1.4 billion.
- 17:37SPEAKER_00: Like, what does your nervous system say to you?
- 17:39SPEAKER_00: What are you thinking?
- 17:40SPEAKER_00: What pops up?
- 17:41SPEAKER_00: It's really cool and fun to play with, and I hope you take some time with that.
- 17:45SPEAKER_00: I hope that this has been helpful, not too Dululu for you.
- 17:49SPEAKER_00: And I'm just so grateful.
- 17:50SPEAKER_00: It's so fun to just jump on the mic and riff on things that like light me up because I've always been a fan of setting big goals, big dreams, and I'm in process of reconnecting with setting things, and I'm reconnecting myself with like vision casting, with future pacing, setting ideas and big dreams out there, and just letting myself dream big dreams.
- 18:13SPEAKER_00: I don't have to achieve all these dreams, and that's something a friend reminded me of the other day.
- 18:18SPEAKER_00: Like, you can set all the goals in the world, you don't have to achieve any of them.
- 18:23SPEAKER_00: I know that's so counterintuitive to goals, but it's been very permission-giving to me to really dream again.
- 18:30SPEAKER_00: So, with that, thank you for your time.
- 18:33SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a great rest of your week.
- 18:34SPEAKER_00: I've got a fun episode coming next week that's very comprehensive.
- 18:39SPEAKER_00: And when I say comprehensive, I mean lots of voices in the episode.
- 18:42SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited to share that with you.
- 18:44SPEAKER_00: And thanks for listening.
- 18:45SPEAKER_00: I hope you have the best weekend, the best first weekend in September.
- 18:49SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a great fall, y'all.
- 18:51SPEAKER_00: She said it.
- 18:52SPEAKER_00: Fall, y'all.
- 18:53SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.
- 18:56SPEAKER_00: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calhoun Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
- 19:07SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at Crafted Connections Pod.
- 19:14SPEAKER_00: Keep creating, keep connecting, until we meet again.