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Judy Canova Show - Guest Eddie Cantor · Judy Canova Show

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From Hollywood, The Judy Canova Show Walk to you each week by the Colgate
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Populata Company, makers of Halo Shampoo to Glorify your hair, and the new
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nineteen forty eight Superstars with extra sud for Extra Fiss. The Judy Canova Show
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with mel Blank, Ruby Dandrids, Joe Kearns, Ruth Perrott, our guest
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star Eddie Canner, Charles danton Is Orchestra and starring Judy Canover. Well,
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Eddie Cannor is going to run for president and Judy Canova has made a deal
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with him to get votes. Eddie has promised Judy a screen career if she
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will get him the votes of all her friends and Cactus Junction. At the
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moment, Judy is discussing the situation with an Aggie and Gerandium. Judy,
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do you mean to tell me Eddie Candor is actually running for places? Yeah,
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Judy, a radio commed for president. That's right. Well, Judy,
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I think mister Cannery make a nice looking presidence. But you know I
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always wondered what makes his eyes pop out like that? Well, if you
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walk up some morning and found out you were the father of five girl,
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jaws pop out too. MINDU stark bug out just thinking about it, Miss
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Judy, I don't think that's what makes mister Cannleviyes pop out. You don't
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geranium, No, ma'am. If you ask me that man wears his girdle
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too tight, geranium, geranium, mister Canna doesn't wear a girdle. Oh,
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you can't tell about these men, Miss Judy. Rochester told me that
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mister Benny wears a two pay. Yeah, well, I know, but
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a two pay is different. A two pey coverage what you haven't got,
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and a girdle hides what you wish you didn't have. Judy, I know
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that's Judy. If you get a catus junction vote Freddie Kanda. Did he
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promise anything, decide to screen career? He sure did. He said when
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he's passident, he'll pay this priest and taxis junction with gold from Fort Knox.
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But Judy wants the government needs the goal to back up the dollars,
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back up the dollar. Joseph if backed up any further and looked like a
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postage, famou, that fact be your time to be put you a break
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and give you a breaking tishes. Oh yes, Judy didn't one of the
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directors tell you you had eggs like grabl No, and he said I had
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legs like Gable. The duck hunter you know by joy Eddie Kara has a
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lot of influence at the studio. Yeah, I hope I can get him
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a lot of votes. And then, Judy, I'm getting a boss friend
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palm Roy's vote. Yeah. When I'm making love to that man, he's
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putty in my hands. Uh, you really win him over? Andrea?
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Yeah, honey, last night I've poker boat. He's called him a lessons
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But Yo, what what do you say to that? Huh? He said,
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come close to my little picture cooker. Let me hear your sibil Well.
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Uh, party effects you the same way, doesn't you? Right here
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this, Judy, when I Managa hold my hands, I get to feel
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I'm walking on bussy. Willis warns, piece falls the bedroom slippers. Oh,
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Judy, Judy, I do hope your Screme tests is successful. Gee,
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I hope so too. But that don't have to make me awful nervous.
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Every time I tried to read my lines, he waved his finger under
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my nose and hollered, fighting me for talking in the station reader. Okay,
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Bron, Sorry, what's wrong? You look mad today? I am?
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Can you reader? I just flow off the handle? Cow up.
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I was cranking the car Tago. What car are you find? A crank
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a little Austin and the readA makes me mad every time I try to crank
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that Austin. Why the crank stands stills and the car spins are on and
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the reader as that car got a fluid drive? What makes you think it
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hass fluid drive? When I was driving down the street and I heard somebody
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say, look at that drip behind the wheels, sego, I I want
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you to go me over to Pride On Studios. I wanna see how my
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screen task came out to talk to Eddie Canner, oh seny reader. Once
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at a movie Stordy on me and my cousin Gonzalis got a drop playing horse,
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a horse tagle Ye. They asked Gonzalis to be their head and shoulders.
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Why did you fit in? And you? I could before they quit?
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Tell me, well, get the car ready and let's go to the
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movie studios. We don't want to be late. Mister Cannon is a very
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imported move. All right, Why I'm the set, everybody quiet. It's
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the candor is ready to record. Okay, rum. There's no business like
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business, like no business. I know everything along is a feeling, everything
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the perfect will allow. No where you get that happy feeling like when you're
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feeling that extra bow. There's no people like people. They smile when they
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are low. Yes, say they told you you would not go far.
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That night you open and there you are. Hex Say on your dressing room
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they've hundred far and go on with the show. There's no business. Yes,
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there is no business like show business. It owes me nothing. I
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owe it a lot. Show business introduced me to the great Zickfels and Will
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Rogers and Fanny Bryce and W. C. Fields and Bert Williams and Marion
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Miller. And what a joy it was to play in those shows for mister
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Dick Fell. He wanted to walk out on the stage and sing those songs,
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those great songs that everybody goes. Songs like these hack coup all my
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cares of woe. Here I go singing lo By by Blackbird, where somebody
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waits for me sugar to sweet ants. So is she bye bye blackbird?
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No one here can love it. I'm the spam me and a one hard
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the storys They all have me. Don't make my bed like the light.
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I'll be home late tonight. Black birds my boss. Ain't she sweet?
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See it coming down the streets? Can I ask you very confidentially, a
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sweet? Ain't she clipper over? Once or twice? Can I ask you
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very confidentially? Ain't she night to pass an eye? Get her direction on
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me? Oh? My? Ain't that perfection? Some confection? I rippy?
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Don't you think your kin? And yet? And ask you fairy confidentially
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swift? How are you going to keep them down on the farm after they
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see Harry? How are you going to keep them away from broadways, chazz
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and a roar paint in the town? How you going to keep them away
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from palm? That's some mystery. I don't imagine Ruben when he meets his
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palm, kiss his cheeking hallolu la lah. How are you going to keep
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him down on the farm after they see? Sorry? Oh that was wonderful,
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mister canadem you'll be able to hear the rush is in about an hour.
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Oh, by the way, there's someone here to see you. You
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didn't I tell you that when I'm recording? How do you want to see
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a human being. But this is Judy. Come over. Oh send her
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in. That's right, Hi lady, Hello, Judy. I'm sorry I
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kept you waiting. Hi Jack Jack, that's all right. Yeah, I
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was listening to that wonderful medley you were singing about. Show business sy does
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must have been exciting days, yes, and the nice one so bad either,
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You know, Judy, Judy, every time I can be had,
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look, Judy, every time I seen those old songs, it takes me
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back from my early days. I remember, forget the first time I worked
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for Flowzick Beeld. You should have seen the review I got after opening night.
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It said, last night Flosick Felt presented his new show starring any Candy.
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It was one of Zick Beell's biggest follies. How they meant that?
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And those zick Bell girls all, Judy, I fell in love with every
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one of them, big gord to show girls, sixty tall everyone. But
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Eddie, you're not that tall yourself. How could you kiss him? When
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Joseph got down on his knee, I got up on his back, shut
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up out. Yes, hey, Eddie, that is all man. I'm
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interesting, but I came over here to talk to you about my movie career.
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Now, I remember our ideal. If you don't get me in text,
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I won't get the folks back in Texas Johnson to vote for Hugh for
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passidents. Judy, you've got nothing to worry about. Here I'll prove it
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to you. Hey, Joe, that's the cat has Mister Thornton looked at
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Miss Canova screen test. Yes, and he asked me to return these still
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pictures to hers. Here they are it's Canova. Oh thank you? Now,
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ain't this nice? Listen to what he wrote on the back of my
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picture. This doll has feet as nady is fairy booth. It's the Cata.
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She read that wrong. It says this girl has feet as daty as
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fairy boats. Yeah, here's not motthew rope. Tell me kind of puzzle
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art this This doll hasn't got six apples? Now let me see that six
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apples. It says this girl hasn't got six appeals? Why shoul that is
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suddly ridiculous? How could anybody say a thing I'd done about Judy? What
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m's the cata? Look for yourself, Mis Canova does like all the other
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girls, a complexion comes out of a box. Her red lips come out
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of a tube and her eyebrowser painted all, well, don't ad for you,
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mister. The arrest is all me tellum, Judy. So I'm disappointing
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you. Don't you agree this girl? Don't you agree this girl is cut
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out to be in pictures? Absolutely, we'll cut it out of this one.
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Goodbye, Judy. I'm terribly sorry. But there goes your movie career.
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Yeah it didn't. There go your vote from Texas. Y, Judy,
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don't say that. After all, what is a movie career? You
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work hard, you become famous, and then the public forgets you. Years
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later, you make a comeback. You've got a home with a swimming pool,
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and Beverly Hills takes million dollars in the bank. They make a movie
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of your life. Yeah, and then what you wind up looking like?
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Al Joson What a terrible thing. I wouldn't even wish that on Georgia,
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Jess. Look, I tell you what we do, Judy. I got
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a much better idea. You get me the votes from Texas junctions, and
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when I'm president, I'll make you secretary of agriculture. Oh me, secretary
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of agriculture. Why not? Everybody likes you? You're a farm girl.
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You've got the human touch. Yeah, I guess you're right. That's what's
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missing on the farm. What do you mean, Judy. Well, they
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want to get rid of them milking machines and bring back the human touch.
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Hey, sure, making them cows happy. Joey wanted to go against those
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milking machines. Oh, Edie, that get how harder now? And then
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one time milking machine went into reverse. We couldn't shut it off. What
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happens for the cowal They found her six days later over the Kansas City Airport
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looking for a place to land. Eddie, listen, tell me, are
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you sure you want me to be Secretary of Agriculture? Yes, Judy,
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if i'm Electa's cousin, I want to have a good, strong palm block,
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and I want you with the head of its. Eddie, you've convinced
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me. You mean you'll be the head of my palm block. Yes.
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You couldn't find a better blockhead than Judy can over Hey, lord, everybody,
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as everybody knows. Eddie Cantor is running for president, and in order to
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get the Cactus Junction vote, here's promise. If he's elected, he'll make
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Judy's Secretary of Agriculture. Oh yes, just think of a Judy. We'll
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make a great team. I'd be president, you'd be secretary. I'm a
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man and you're a woman. Yeah. And the funny thing is if we've
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both started his baby, Hey, tell me something. How come you ever
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got mixed up in politics? Oh? Simple, I just made a bunch
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of campaign promises and through my hat in the rings, you through your hat
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in the ring. Yeah, like they do in Spain. But this is
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politics in Spain. It's the bull range chain thing here, baby, thank
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you Democrats, Judy, Judy think I entered politics. Life has been perfectly
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wonderful. Eddie. Well, this morning, when I got up the mat
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said to me, good morning, mister President. I came downstairs the god
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and said good morning, mister president. To cook that good morning, mister
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President. The nighter came and asked for some money. Eager back to shmow
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again, Eddie said, one thing about politics, I don't understand. How
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do you find out what the people wants? Why you just talk to the
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man in the streets. Come on out here, I'll show you. Come
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on out the street, cook, Judy, he comes an average citizen.
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Now, hey, mister, yeah, what can I do for you?
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And you tell me what the man in the street wants. Yeah, he
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wants to move out of the street and into a house. I see,
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Judy. If you're going to be a politician, you've got to get close
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to the people. Yea, Eddie, I think that fella would have voted
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for you. But I bet he don't even know what tickets you're running on.
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Julie, I'm organizing my own political party. If Henry can do it,
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so can I. What's the difference? But Julenia's gonna leave your regular
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party? Why not? A man can vote his party if he wants to.
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History proved that every year there are plenty of boats in Washing. Yeah,
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I'm playing let's go with him, Eddie. You might have some tough
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competitions Governor Doey for instance. Oh are you kidding? What is Dewey got
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that? I haven't got two sons? He winds a two of a kind
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beat a pool house. But Eddie, Eddie, y'all here doing very popular
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in the farm district. I saw a campaign taketure of him milking accown milk
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in a car. Why that's dirty politics? Do you mean a guy that
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would do that would pull anything? Well? Eddie, nesson, tell me,
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if you're elected, what's your platform? Gonna be the first thing I'm
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gonna do is to give the country back to the people. Now we don't
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the people have enough problem? What else are you gonna do? Are you
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gonna have a plan for world peace? Listen to this. I plan to
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move all the Russian people of France, all the French people of Poland,
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all the Polish people to Italy, and all the Italian people to Turkey.
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Bring about wal peace. Everybody be so busy learning a new language, they
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won't have time to fight. Yeah, but you might have trouble get in
17:22
Congress to back up. You might run into one of them filibusters. I'm
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not who two of us. Yeah, that's when somebody gets up in the
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house and talks and talks for days and days and never stop. Oh either,
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oh yeah, oh yeah. You heard to night of the First Lady
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of the Land, and you you Judy Canova's secretary of Agriculture. You know,
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Addie, I think I'll take the job. Yeah. I could do
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a lot of things for the folks back home in Texas Junction. So I
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could send them pamphlets, seeds, maybe even medicine. Medicine. Yep,
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I'll send each family a dowon of doctor Time's Wondertony it's good for men and
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women, little girls. It's seen good for growing boys, Judy, would
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you mind the repeating oh? I said, wait a minute, let me
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chuck something. We are pumpsing. Go ahead, jud Paddie, Katy,
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I said, it's even good for growing boys. At last. I don't
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want to get either of for her birthday. Ye I'm not Eddie. Eddie.
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Talking about taxis junction makes me realize that if I go to Washington,
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I might get off of lonesome for my folks. Do you think you could
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find a place in your cabinet for them here? But I don't know anything
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about your folks, Judy. Are they true sons and daughters of the soil?
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They sure are. Paul worked in the good earth, and after they're
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working for thirty years in the good earth, they had only one thing to
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say. What was that? Goshes sure need a bath. But you know,
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my family could do you a lot of good in Washington, Eddie.
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They're real, live up and out of people, always on the toes.
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Well. I remember one day back Homeie Texas junctions. Mam was talking to
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Pomp. She walked over to it at your sapshot, Wake up, Paul,
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come on, Get up, you lazy credit woo long gosh, ma
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part makes you surpired? I'm all poop dolls. I walked clear from the
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barn yesterday. Lamp hadn't the harder tire y out? It's on me a
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few seeds, I know, Ma, but the wind was against me.
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Ma, I didn't sleep good last night. I was cold, man,
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I was cold in bed. Poop Well. I gave you that hot water
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bottle last night. Didn't that warm you up? No? And I drunk
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the whole thing, I I, MA, I got a cold in the
20:26
head. How can I stop it from going down into my chest? That
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easy? Paul just high a knotty you neck pall reckless. He's ready start
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when you called me? Aw, Ma, there's a grasshopper in that's coffee,
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Salmer prays over Paul. That ain't no grasshopper. I ain't sure,
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Yes, Paul, you know one never serve nothing out of seasons. Man,
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this is too a grasshopper. Why I don't stop them blowing on your
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coffee? You'll make your sea sick. Twere fall here comes u this some
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boy praying lucy poume DEALI I say to do folks like to do I'll stole
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our parents about some whow. I'm out of my brother. Ufer he bothered
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my shirt to go out on our date last night. When he come back,
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it was all covered with lipstick. LOOKI wash does not make you mad?
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Well? Hold you like to stay home while your count was out having
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a good time? Huh? And that the only thing you're all head up
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about today? Gosh No, when I was coming up to walk that old
22:33
hound dog, he goes bit me loosen that old hound dog can't buy He
22:41
just bark. Well, he just barked the sheet out of my pants.
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Lookie, you're just playing stupid. What's wrong with your brains lately? Well,
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Mark's been washing my head with water coffer. Okay, you've been smarter
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if you hadn't a bench of stubborn about it going to school. Yeah,
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lookie, you're so piggyheaded you'll never amount to nothing. Who are shucked?
23:11
I well, if the price of park stays off, Well, when you
23:18
folks excuse me, I'm going ahead tell the roo and curtain white Dan donkies
23:23
a short doolol cam. Remember when we was at court and you said my
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mouth was like a rosebud? Yeah, mam And the day we got married,
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it opened up and it's been opened up ever since. You was lucky
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to land me more, there's few people left in the world like me.
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No, No, Paul, that DDT does a good job. Well,
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I'll ask get the chores done, you slop the hogs, and I'll get
24:17
the mixing boone and give wearing in their hair. Huh. I means like
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nobody ain't got no doob and addie. Don't give you an idea of what
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my family's like. That's about the interesting Judy. Well, don't you think
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you to put him in your cabinet? That's a good idea, Judy.
24:42
You mean you do it? Yes, I'll put him all in the cabinet,
24:45
locked the door and throw away the key. Well, folks, have
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Wider Dud. The Judy Canalfa Show has written by Fred Fox and Henry Hooper
26:07
with John Ward, and it's produced and directed by Joe Ryans. This is
26:11
Howard Petrie asking you to use Halo shampoo to glorify your hair and the new
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nineteen forty eight Superstars with Extra Sudes for extra whiteness. Now Here's Judy.
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Thank you hard and I want to thank you Eddie Canner for dropping in to
26:23
visit with us tonight. Judy. It was my pleasure. Will I see
26:26
you tomorrow in the Marsh of Dimes inaugural parade? Do you bet you will,
26:30
Eddie, I wouldn't miss that break for anything, all those beautiful floats,
26:33
those great, big, giant balloons. It'll be wonderful, just as
26:37
wonderful. Judy. Is a great worst that you have been doing to combat
26:41
infantil paralysis? Oh well, I've only been trying to do my part,
26:45
Eddie. You're doing great, word juty, make no mistake about it.
26:48
And the course of your untiring efforts and inspiring attitude, I've been asked to
26:52
tell you that the National Foundation has named you their official Marsh of Dimes girl.
26:59
Congratulations and good folks, this is really an honor I appreciate you know.
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Infant top paralysis respects no race, color, or creed. It can
27:21
strike a geor Doyle anytime. So please join a good fight against this dreaded
27:25
disease. Send your dimes and dollars to your local March of Dimes headquarters.
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27:36
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