Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 4, Season 2: What Can I Say? - (Buffer Episode)

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Episode 4, Season 2: What Can I Say? - (Buffer Episode) · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Love Dog Podcast. I'm your co host
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Rna Butcher here with our host, doctor Sarah Hinsley.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Might be a fief. Yes, Hi, Hi.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: And I guess, oh, you're not really my boss.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: No, I don't consider you know. That's too weird. Alf
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: your boss, it's too weird.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: But sometimes I get sad, like when I feel like
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: like sometimes I'll notice I'm like Sarah and I have
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: only talked about work stuff the past.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Now we don't need to talk about personal. Yeah, we
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: are best friends. We live literally five minutes away from
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: each other. We work together extremely closely, and we pretty
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: much never.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Never see each other.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: We never get like, just like this real good quality
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: to have it. Well, we do, but they're like little
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: tiny short windows. Yes, like maybe like ten minutes here
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: or like fifteen minutes like every couple of weeks.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: It's just it's the four kiddos, man and the six
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: different sports and just doing all the coaching.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: And yeah, sure it's tough because I need you.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I need you right now, and we know I own
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: the content based gat in that way, I need you
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: as you know, just a fellow friend who's also a mom.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: You know, we talked about this on the way. My
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: son graduates in.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: A week and you know, he's my only one, and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: so I'm going through, you know, the empty nest time
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: season in my life, and it's tough. It's a it's
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: a very tough season and until you experience it, like,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: you don't really understand it. And I know I said
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: this on you know, a couple episodes ago, but for
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: any of the parents that are in this season of life, like,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I'm sending you a virtual hug because it is just
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: such it's this bittersweet time and it's you know, I
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: had a whole moment, uh, you know one day that
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: was just I was just in my feels about it,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: and I think that's what ends up happening, and you
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: just and I just let myself be in my feels
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: But I was more in.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: My feels about it because it's a time like this
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: where a mom needs a mom, like needs their mom.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, oh, I'm so mad that
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I don't have my mom right now to lean on
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: and just you know, cry too, because it's not really
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: something and I love my husband so much, but it's
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: not something I really want to, you know, always lean
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: on him. About because he just doesn't understand it. And
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: so I just want, you know, I just want to
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: be around moms right now.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I need you, I know, so I need you know,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: I just need like we need to just make some time.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Let's get our let's get our calendars. Yeah, I need
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: to see when we can pencil it in.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I need hugs and comfort, like that's the only thing
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I can really think of, like what I need right now,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: because I feel like empty nest season is.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Sort of like a breakup.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: That's what it's like.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm being broke up with, like my
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: heart hurts, But then it's not totally like a breakup
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: because I also feel like this sense of happiness and relief,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: you know, like, Okay, go on, you know you're on
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: your own now, fly free, little bird. But you know again,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: unless you're there, you don't really fully know what it
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: feels like. So to all the all the parents, not
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: just the moms, but to all the moms and dads
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: out there that's are in the season of life, I
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: see you.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: I see you.
• 3:31
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• 3:34
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• 3:36
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• 3:38
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• 3:45
  Speaker 2: about to put an order in for camper sheets for
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: my camper because I can't. I can't do it. We
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: went to the camper the other night and I was like,
• 3:56
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• 4:00
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• 4:04
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• 4:38
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• 4:41
  Speaker 2: which is very generous. Thank you, Cozier, Thank.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: You so much, Cozy Earth. So we're still season two.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: We wrapped up our Sex and Intimacy series last week. Yes,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: so we're going to do a little buffer episode for
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: you guys, and we're gonna, well, I say we.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Sarah is going to try to spill a little bit
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: of deep breath.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I'm taking a deep breath.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, take a.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Breath, Get regulated, because I think pull out the bravery, Yeah,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: pull out the pull out the courage. But so we're
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: this is episode four, buffer episode before we start our
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: next series, which stay tuned, and this one is called
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: what Can I Say?
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: What can I Say?
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: So for what can you say?
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, So for my loyal listeners who listen to season
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: one and heard me talk about the thing I can't
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: talk about, I'm going to talk about it today, not
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: not in all detail. I can't because I'm not going
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: to open myself up to more liability. Yeah okay. So
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I also there are other people involved that I want
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: to protect and I don't want to say anything and
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: that could potentially put our situation in harm's way even
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: more than it already has been. So I'm gonna do
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: this very delicately. Okay, here we go. Somebody that used
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: to be romantically involved with my husband and that could
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: be anybody. He's got two ex wives, he's got a
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: handful of ex girlfriends, so you know, use your imagination. Yeah,
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say who it is. I'm not dumb,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: all right, Okay, is so insanely obsessed with my husband,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: therefore now obsessed with me and has pretty much been
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: on the harassment train, primarily with me as the target,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: since the day I met my husband.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: I can attest to this.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: It's bad.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I can test to it because I remember when You'll
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: started dating.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it started immediately telling me some things that I
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: was like, Oh.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: It started with phone calls. It's been anonymous social media messages,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: it's been in public. It's been an insane little ride.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: There have been gaps in time where there was nothing
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: which was really beautiful, and I always tried to take
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: the high road. I'm just not going to respond to this,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: or I'm going to respond very minimally to this, because
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: that's what Jesus would freaking do. But I guess when
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: you're of the type of person that lives in a
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: state of vengefulness and bitterness and jealousy and envy, you
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: just can't stop yourself. I suppose I don't know, and
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: so she decided to do something where it would make
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: it where I would have to respond. She went after
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: my children in the most heinous, abusive, unconscionable way humanly possible.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: What she did was she accused my children. And then,
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: of course her story changed three to four times after this,
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: to where then it became only accusing my oldest child
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: of a very very serious crime, a heinous crime, a
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: crime in which I can't even I still can't even
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: believe that someone would do this. But she accused my
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: children and then eventually just my oldest child of a
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: crime that never happened, and she did so in a
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: way that then involved a very serious investigation into my children,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: into my family. And mind you, both of my children
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: lost their their father in twenty twenty and had already
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: experienced trauma. And so what she did was she took
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: and this was on me. Okay, shortly after my children's
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: father passed away, my oldest daughter did struggle with the
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: very normal anger stage of grief, which is a documented,
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: known stage of grief, and she was in therapy and
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I posted on a local mom's group and I said,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: my daughter's really struggling with anger. She's kind of being
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: me into her sister. You know, their father passed away,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: and I don't know what to do. I don't know
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: what other resources I can give her. Do you know
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: of any like resources of like what I can do
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: right therapist, like grief counseling, like whatever, right in our Okay,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: this is the local Mom's group. This person took that
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: post that was many years old, altered it, and then
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: filed this in the court system as potential evidence that
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: my older child has quote anger issues, which she does not,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: and that that unlikely was a disturbed child and would
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: commit such a heinous crime. Okay. This led to a
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: six week police investigation, CPS investigation, more court hearings than
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I could than I can even I don't even know
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: how many we've had.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't keep track at this point. It's been
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: over a year.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: It was the most I went through severe domestic violence,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: and I can say this is one of the most
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: traumatizing things that has ever happened to me, because when
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: it's your child, it's a whole different ballgame. You come
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: for my kids, come for me all day, you come
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: for my kids. You have crossed a line that I
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: will walk through hell in a gasoline suit to make
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: it right. And so we were subjected to just a horrible,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: horrible process. I mean, of course, because no crime was committed,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: police decided not to open a case because they're like,
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: there is absolutely no evidence this has happened, Like we
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: have not even one piece of evidence, Like we can
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: investigate the complaint, we can investigate this, but we're not
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: going to open a case because you have to have
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: some evidence to open the case. And the supposed victim
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: of this crime had to go through a forensic interview
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: to which this person then revealed no, this actually didn't happen,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: and they were unclear of why they said it happened,
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: except that they were influenced by this person who has
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: been harassing me that used to be involved with my ex.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: But they came out and told the truth didn't happen.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: There was no such crime, No crime was committed, and
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: so of course that has a lot of weight, right
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: with the police and with CBS.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, when the supposed victim says, yeah, this never happened.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, then you know, the case kind of falls apart
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: at that point. Plus where she said it happened, how
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: it happened. There was cameras evidence.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: And there's so many that it didn't happen. There's so
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: many gaps in the story.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Like if you guys, even if I could tell you
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: all the details, your jaws would be on the floor, honestly.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: But I can't tell you all the details because I
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: can't out this person because I have no desire to
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: hurt them like they hurt me, because I don't want
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: to be that person. I want to be as godlike
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: as I can be. But this is my platform that
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: is built on my trauma and my story and my
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: overcoming and gosh darn it, if something like this happens
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: to me, you are not going to gag me. I
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: don't care what court of law we're talking about. I'm
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: not going to be silenced. That doesn't mean that I'm
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: going to rake this person through the coals and out
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: their identity and make their life a living hell. That's
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: not the reason I'm doing this. I'm doing this to
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: help anyone else who has ever faced false allegations placed
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: upon them or someone they love, and how devastating that
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: can be. Because it cost us twenty thousand dollars to
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: defend the false allegations with attorney fees.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And that's just scratching the surface.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: That's just scratching the surface. What else can I say
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: it is caused? It was? I think the main point
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: of it was to try to cause enough friction in
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: my marriage. I think. Okay, so there was a prime
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: mary point that I can't talk about. I think was
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: the primary thing that they wanted, which they didn't get.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: But I think this sort of secondary main reason of
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: doing what she did was to try to break my
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: husband and eye up because she wants to be with
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: my husband.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Which makes zero sense, like in terms of logic, but
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: you know, again, if you knew the person, you would understand.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Right, That's what I think. I think she's never been
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: able to let go of the relationship. I think she
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: has a lot of bitterness that she was not quote
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: unquote chosen and she sees my husband with me and
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: that how happy we are and how solid of a
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: couple we are, and I think that it has mirrored
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: back to her potentially her own deficiencies and that she
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: lives with a lot of internalized shame that she cannot
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: cope with and it comes out as bitterness, and it
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: comes out as jealousy, and I fel nothing but pity.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'll be with this.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Person because I don't. I picture her with her own
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: internalized shame that she just doesn't have the resources to
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: cope with, and I pray for her. I want her
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: to get the resources through God or therapy or whatever
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: it takes to overcome whatever it is she's holding on
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: to that would make her do something so knowingly evil
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: and devious towards another person, an innocent dispec into how
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: she did it.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: It was all wrong.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: It was all wrong. It's not what any person who
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: truly believed a crime would happen. If a person truly
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: believed what she said happened happened, they would not have
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: made the moves she made. No. So if I took
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: this to just to civil court of law, Okay, step
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: out of the criminality, go into a civil court, I
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: would win. I would win a gigantic judgment, and I
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: could I could immediately now, I could serve her with
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: papers and I could see her one hundred percent, could
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: seer one hundred percent. Would win. I've spoken to an
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: attorney about it. They said, it's a rock solid case
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: with what we have, with all of the evidence, a
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: jury would absolutely rule in my favor. I'm not gonna
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: do that because I don't want to be like her,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: right yeah, But let me be clear. I know she's
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: listening to this because she stalks every single thing I post,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: even though she is blocked on every platform. I have
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: tried to block all of her friends. There are other
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: flying monkeys out there still somehow getting everything I do
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: back to her. It's an obsession at this point. It's
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: awful at this point, like.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Gosh, exhausting.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I mean honestly, like I just can't imagine being in
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: that space.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: Not that I never have.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I mean I had some crazy, you know times back
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: in the day when I was filled with just insecurities
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: and jealousy and pain, so much unresolved pain. And she's
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: in pain. Oh yeah, and that's what I was gonna say.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: You know, I I have this this sympathy for her,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: you know, even despite what she's done. And you know,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: because listen, guys, I'll go scorched earth on anyone that
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh you messed with my friend.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: Well, let me tell you know. I'm ready to fight.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, I am ready to fight, but I still have
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: sympathy for her because I know that someone who is
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: behaving in the way that she has has so much unresolved.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Pain, unresolved trauma. Yeah, she has an unresolved trauma. Yeah,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I've heard what she went through in her childhood. It's terrible,
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: and I'm sorry I didn't have you, know I.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: But you don't need to be the brunt of her
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: pain and abody's touching bag.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: And certainly my then thirteen year old now fourteen year
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: old child is not allowed to be anybody's pitching bag. No,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: and my mama bear will come out and I will
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: stand as firm as I could. And so I know
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: a lot of people are gonna go, why aren't you
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: swinger civilly because that would be probably the boundary that
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: probably does need to be set. But I care more
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: about peace, and I care more about your marriage, my marriage,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: and some peripheral people that were affected then to go
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: down that route.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're laying down the sword.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: But I was about to say, so let me say
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: it again because I know she gonna hear this. Let's
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: just face it. We know, Okay, if you ever do
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: something like that again, if you ever come for me
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: or my babies or my husband. I swear I will
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: take it down that path.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: It will be scorched earth.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: It will be nothing but scorched earth. I will pursue
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: every civil, legal, criminal penalty I can possibly pursue. I
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: don't care if it cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: I do not care. I will take it as far
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: as it can go, and I will not rest until
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: you are held fully accountable for the vicious, unconscionable harm
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: that you caused. Already, one time, I did what Jesus
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: would do. We settled it. It was settled peacefully. I
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: took the high road, I took the godly road. I
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: turned the other cheek. But there will not be a
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: second time with me, and you can separate that from
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: my husband. Those are not his words. So let's just
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: be real clear. My husband has nothing to do with
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: me talking about this today. In fact, I think he
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: would probably much rather me not And I get that.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I get that. But my platform is about helping people
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: recover from trauma, and I have every right to share
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: my lived experiences and my trauma and the things that
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: have hurt me and how I have been able to
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: overcome because my goal is to help others. My goal.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: If I wanted to drag this person through the mud,
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Let's face it, I have two million people that would
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: be loved to listen to some tea. It would be
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: loved to be looking her up and figuring out who
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: this is. But I'm not going to do that because
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: my goal is to not harm her. My goal is
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: to help you, the listener. If you have ever been
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: a victim of anything like this or been harmed, you
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: are seen here because I have lived this, and it
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: started before I even kind of got famous. Like it started.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Before oh this started.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: We've been friends for eight years, nine years almost.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: This My human and I started dating four years ago.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: We've been married for three years. So it started like
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: as I was just starting my platform. Yeah, I wasn't
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: even that big yet. So this isn't a result of
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: like my notoriety or my fame. It's directly beautiful face.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is, it's a pretty face.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: It's just like that, like why are you so obsessed
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: with me? Like that's what I just want to say.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: It's like, why are you so obsessed with me? Because
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: you're the full package? Why? Like I'm sorry that it
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: didn't work out between you all.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: It's really sad too, because like if she, if she
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: knew you, like really knew you, like I know you. Guys,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: this girl right here is so much more than a
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: pretty face and a big brain. She is generous and
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: she is kind, and she has a beautiful soul and
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: she's a good friend. And you, I mean, you are.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: One of the most generous people I've ever known in
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: my life. In my life, and you are I mean,
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: you have such a big heart.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think you're misunderstood by a lot
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: of people personally, but especially specifically her. You're misunderstood. And
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: if she only knew you on the deep level, you
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: know that I love you, or that I know you
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: and love you, things would be so much easier, Things
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: would be so much better.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, And what I I just want her to be okay,
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: like just heal, just do whatever it takes, because it
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: cannot be. And part of the reason that I did
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: choose pieces, because you know what, her inner world has
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: to be torture.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Enough and exhausting and exhausting.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: It has to be torturous, and I don't want to
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: live in that torture of bitterness. Back you know, and
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, trust me, when someone hurts your child, that
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: is a freaking struggle. Yeah, to not want to just
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: absolutely go scorch darts.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'll talk more about my situation later. I'm not
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: gonna do it now.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I just.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Because I mean, it happened. It's something similar happened to me.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: It you know, I'm with my ex, and you know,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: there was a lot lots of vindictive behavior and.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: And this was pure evil vindictiveness. There's nothing else that
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: describes it. And and.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: What can you say?
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: What can you say? I can't prove that that's what
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: was in her heart. Yeah, I mean we all could
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: just accept that, you know, she made a mistake and
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: she thought something happened that didn't happen, but that but
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: we know that's freaking false. Scotsh every single That's why.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: You know, a civil attorney told me listen, I sent
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: him all the evidence, okay, and.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: He said the girl was on it. He said was
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: on it. Oh yeah, you could get a judgment. Yeah,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: It's like you could absolutely get a judgment. But is
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: that what you want? Do you want peace or do
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you want more fighting? I said, I don't want to
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: fight anymore. I don't want to fight anymore, but I
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: promise you if it happens again, oh I'm a fight.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I'm a fight till the absolute death or I don't
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: care what that looks like. And that's outside of my husband.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: My husband don't have to fight at all.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I'll fight you. It'll between It'll be between me and you.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: It will not be between my husband and you. It
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: will be between me and you. Should you choose this route,
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I will choose peace. I will choose cooperation. I will
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: choose gentleness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self control. I will choose
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: to be the bigger person because I can do that.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I can. I can be the bigger person.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: And forgiveness is freeing, right, it is freeing.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: And so my only goal is to move forward peacefully.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: But I want people out there to know that life
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: sometimes hits you. With the point of my platform, right,
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: it's the point of my platform to help people grow
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: and develop and learn from their suffering and for how
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: to be better people and how to love better even
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: if you've suffered or been hurt. And so that's what
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: this is about. This is about helping people overcome harm,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: help people to still love when they've been hurt. And
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: so this is why I'm speaking.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because nothing protects you from from it.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: You're not protected, trust me. This couldn't have been more
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: out of the freaking blue. Yeah. Okay, it was like
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: I was, you know, it was like level two, three,
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: four harassment depending upon the day or time, and then
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: it went to like a twenty out of ten, yeah,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: with no warning. And so I don't and everybody that
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I've been able to connect with and talk to who
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: have gone through similar things because of course your phone listens, right,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: and so the all Go does what the all Go
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: does and started putting videos in front of me of
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: people speaking out against similar situations. So I've been able
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: to connect with people who have been through similar situations
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: and have support of those people, and that was really
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: helpful to me. Community is everything, and so that's why
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I'm speaking today. I could easily say nothing, but my
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: voice in my two million listener platform is to help people.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: It's to help people feel seen and understood, and to
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: know that you don't have to choose bitterness and you
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: don't have to choose resentment, and you can move past
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: it and you can move forward. But that doesn't mean
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: that you don't protect protect yourself either that it doesn't
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: mean you don't have a boundary. And hopefully my message
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: today that we all know she's gonna hear because she
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: cheers her and sees every single thing I do on
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: social media, even in my private spaces, like on my
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: private personal social media, it's being screenshotted, it's being shared,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: it's being oh my gosh, like just stop, just stops.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: It does sound exhausting, but you know, I think too
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: A big part of this is and for you, is
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: to be able to speak out authentically about it, you know,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: because we advocate all the time about all authentic and
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: showing up authentic, specifically here right on the pod.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: And I feel like a weight has been lifted off
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: from my shoulders that I've spoken about it that I
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: cannot silence because when these kinds of things happen to you,
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: and like law enforcement's involved and CPS is involved, and.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a devile trauma to be silenced.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: And then everybody the first thing they say is you
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: can't talk about it. Yeah, you can't talk about this. Yeah,
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: And oh my gosh, that traumatizes people more when you
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: take away their voice. It traumatizes people more so, if
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: you haven't been able to have a voice and somebody
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: has harmed you, just let me be for today your voice.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: Right that I'm speaking for the collective. I'm speaking for
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: everybody out there who's had who has been harassed or
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: stalked or had false accusations placed upon them, to know
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: that you are not alone and that it can get
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: really really lonely, because, let's face it, most people don't
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: freaking care. They don't care.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: Well, your christis is not the right you know, the.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: People in the system don't care.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I mean I think that we've talked about this before,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: you know, just with this is off the subject, but
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: with your clients. You know, so many people come into
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: your practice and come to me. You know, I have
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: conversations every week and they're in major crisis, you know, crisis,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: and it feels like just the weight of the world
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: is crashing down. And we really try to as a
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: team take that into consideration because too many times in
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: the professional world, whether it be the law landscape, or
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: the therapy landscape, or in this case, the coaching landscape,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: people too often discount other people's crisis because they're not
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: their own right. And you have to have that deep
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: level of sympathy and empathy for people to understand that
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: they're in deep emotional pain and they need really constructive help.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, and it takes really special people to know how
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: to do that.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I me and I do my best, right
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: do We all as a team do our best. And
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: we have we have work days.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: I have days where I'm like, I can't do this today,
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: I can, you know.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Because it is because you do also have to have
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: some personal boundaries, Like I do have people that call
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: our you know, we have a support line or you
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: know for for customer service of our services, and they're like,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: can I just get on the phone for five minutes
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: with doctor Hensley? But we all know that that five
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: minutes is going to be an hour just of you
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: trying to tell me your backstory. And I don't have
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: that hour. No, I wish I did. And then what
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: you're gonna do is you're gonna go tell your friends
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: and then they're gonna call. And so we do have
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: to have some boundaries. So that's we try to give
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: people empathy and kindness, and we tried to speak to
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: them like we are going to get you help.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: As fast as possible, and do everything we can, do
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: everything we can. Let me just say this, that's what
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: people don't understand about your hourly right, Okay, my.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Business brain, it's almost embarrassing to talk about.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: My business brain goes here though, because we our mission
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: at the love Doc relationship coaching Services and the Love
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Doc podcast is to reach as many people as we
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: possibly can so that we can teach people how to
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: love in a healthy, secure way. That is our mission.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: We want to teach people to learn to learn to
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: love in a godly way. And if doctor Hinsley is
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: only exchanging every hour with one person, it's impossible to reach,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: right then the masses, all right, help.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Eight people a day. It's exactly a normal work day
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: with no lunch.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: And so it's just the reason her hourly rate is
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: what it is because I've had people, you know, call
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: and complain about it. I'm like, this is about reaching
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: the masses so that she can teach as many people
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: as possible what it is to love and in a healthy,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: secure way. And so I just want everyone to understand that,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Like we see that, Like we see that, But this
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: is also a business and we like, you know, I mean,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: it's not for everybody, but that's why we have other.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Coaches, right, So we have other coaches that have a
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: much more friendly or hourly rate. I'm the CEO, I'm
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: the founder of the company, right like I know, I'm
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: the face that you see, but not everybody can have
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: access to me in a one on one situation, because
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: that is my goal. God put that on my heart.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: You need to reach the masses, if you know. And
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: so I I do really put my heart and soul
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: into my hybrid program where I can coach up to
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: thirty people in one hourly session and I give them
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: as many resources as humanly possible. And then I do
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: think for what you get that is at a fair price,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: and that is why that's an option, right or my
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: self Study, like you can buy myself Study course for
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: an even like less price, a very price.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: To have access to it for life, for life, for life.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: And my hybrid program comes with the self study course
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: and you have access to the recorded group calls. Everything
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: I had said during the recorded group you can have
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: access to. It doesn't record the private chats, but so
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: you can remain anonymous in my group if you want
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: to I give away tons of free content on social
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: media across all of my platforms Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: of course TikTok, which is my largest pan podcast and
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: this podcast, and I do speaking engagements, and I try
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: to just I try to put so many resources out
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: there for people so that it's not just getting access
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: to me one on one, sure, right, And in fact,
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: we can accomplish so much more in the four week
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: group than we can in a one on one session.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: It's the fast track to healing, and so it's almost,
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: you know, a better option than a one on one session.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: So yeah, my one on one prices are sky high,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: because when they weren't sky high, I was book six
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: months out right and it was ridiculous, And so yeah,
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: I know then then I can only serve a certain clientele.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: But that's why we have other.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Options' exclusive right, there's just an exclusivity there, and we
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: do have other options. But again that's not the total
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: point of this this episode, but we just wanted to.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, put it on there. And you're not just paying
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: for the hour with me, you're paying for my ten
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: years of education, yes, and twenty nearly now twenty years
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: of experience and that there's a cost to that, right,
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: You're not just paying people think of it as just
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: like a direct hourly rate. But what did I have
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: to pay to get there? I paid the price of
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: all of my trauma and doing healing work. So then
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: you don't have to get as low as I did.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: I paid eighty eight thousand dollars for my education that
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: I had to pay for years time, time money ever years.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, exchanging time for money is a very
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: difficult thing, you know, to do, especially in the landscape
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: that you're in, because it's it's very emotionally draining too.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: So I mean coaching eight hours individual clients, five days
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: a week, I mean that it just sounds impossible to me.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: It is impossible. And that's what I started doing, and
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: I realized that not only was it quite exhausting, but
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: then I got booked out six months and then that
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: was ridiculous, and then I couldn't scale my business or
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: do anything different for six months, and I was like,
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: I'm not reaching who I want to reach. I'm not
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: reaching as many people as I am with the real tools,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: you know, I mean, I don't I can't give away
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: absolutely everything on social media, right you know that's impossible,
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: and so I guess the message just that I have
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: is this is me speaking for the masses, for anybody
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: who's ever faced this, who has not felt like they
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: had a voice, who did not feel like they were seen.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm speaking today. I'm not speaking to hurt
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: the person that hurt me. Let's face it. I could
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: say her name, I could, I could absolutely make it
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: crystal clear who this person was. And I'm not going
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: to do that, and so you have no basis for
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: legal action. According to this podcast, there's no defamation here.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I'm choosing to purposefully make this as vague as possible
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: so that people don't know who you are because I
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: don't want you to receive backlash. I want you to
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: be able to move forward with peace. I want you
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: to lay down your swords. I want you to do
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: what's best for everybody involved, which is to just let
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: it go. You and him are never getting back together,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: it's not going to happen. And trying to destroy our
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: relationship and our family, it made us stronger, I hate
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: to tell you, but it made us closer. It made
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: us stronger. Yes, it gave us adversity. Yes, we have
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: had numerous conflicts over this situation. But guess what, every
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: time we repair a conflict, we just get closer and
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: love each other more. So all it did was strengthen us.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: So I'm sorry it actually had the opposite effect of
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: what you were looking to do. So if you keep
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: trying it again, it's only going to make your life worse.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: So just move forward in peace, get the help that
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: you need. You know, her and I are never going
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: to probably ever get a chance to have a face
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: to face conversation. So this is probably my way of
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: being able to just say, let's be peaceful and let's
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: move forward for the good of everybody involved.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say never. I mean, you know,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I think God can work really beautifully in people, and
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: I will always you know, like I'll always believe that,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: you know, I've I've always prayed for Paul, that Paul,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: you know, just because I feel like he's like kind
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: of the villain in my story. Not anymore, but you know,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: in the past, like I've always prayed for God to work,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: you know, to work in his life and so that
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: we could you know, potentially have a time where you know,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: we come together to some degree, like We're never going
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: to be like BFFs or anything.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: But and we kind of did have a moment, right,
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: we had a moment.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: You know, our son is graduating and you know, at
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: my son's awards, Sara for the r OTC.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: You know, he came up to me and shook my hand.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: And he hasn't spoken to her in eight year, eight years,
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: just unblocked her. Eight years.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: He has not said a word, ye, a word to me.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Her own son had to go down. Can you block mom? Now? Okay,
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: that's what we're dealing with here. Yeah, we connect over
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: like the levels of yeah, just a like dysfunction.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And so he did.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: He walked up to me and shook my hand and said,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: we did it, Reina. I mean did part of me
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: want to say, you mean I did it? But no,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: it was a really heal It was a really healing moment,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: you know. And I think, like I said, I never
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: want to say never on on things like that, because
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: healing is a is never linear of course, and you
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: never know like the moments that it's going to happen.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: You're going to have these shifts in perspective. But I
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: think God can really work beautifully in people and it's
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: and it's always possible.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah. And I will pray for her every day
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: every day.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: You know, And I know that you mean that genuinely,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: like that's not trying to like we'll pray for you,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: bless your.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Changes, because I see the demonic oppression because I used
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: to be so demonically oppressed with bitterness and with jealousy
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: and with you know, self hatred and with rejection. And
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: I now know a life where that demonic has been
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: literally cast out, like delivered from that demonic and that
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: demonic it's it's so painful to live with because the
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: enemy wants to torture you and this person very much
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: has some all like demonic. I think belief systems that
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: she doesn't realize are holy demonic and oppressing her and
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: that are probably holding her back from a lot.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: And I can't say anything more than that. But Devil
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: is real and he's a worthy adversary and you should
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: never underestimate him. That's why you have to be protected
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: by the full armor of God because the devil. The
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: only way the devil can carry out his mission, guys,
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: is through you and I through the human beings as
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: the vessels of this spiritual battle. So you can be
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: a vessel for good or you can be a vessel
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: for evil. And I don't want to be a vessel
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: for evil. I don't want to be about revenge. I
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: don't want to punch back one hundred times harder than
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: you punched me. So I'm not doing it right now.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think this is you know, this is
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: your place and your moment to I think fully release
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: it and let it go.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: Let it go. I had to do this podcast because
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: there was such a part of me that still couldn't
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: let it go. Like, trust me. I have a civil
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: demand letter written from an attorney and it's a good one. Yeah,
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: but I'm not going to send it. Yeah, I thought
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I was going to. I mean, I really thought I
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: was going to, and I'm not going to. Yeah, but
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: if you do it again, oh shoot, Yeah, let's let's
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: not be confused. Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: That's right, because I do have boundaries for how much
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I will take. I will only take so much abuse
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: because what happened was abusive.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, It's okay.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: So I feel like a million pounds has been lifted.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Off special I'm so glad I mean, see, that's what's
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: so beautiful about this pod, guys.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: We are healing alongside each and every one of you.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because when you don't have a voice, it cripples you. Yeah,
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: it strangles you. And the system doesn't want you to
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: speak out. The system wants you to be nicey, nicy
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: and just pretend like the abusive things don't happen.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: So flawed, it's so it's incredibly flawed. Yeah, and we're
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: gonna talk more on that later.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: You know, our next series is going to be centered
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: around that, So stay tuned.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: Of course, stay tuned. We have so much more to come, and.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: We're gonna have some fantastic guests coming on to kind
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: of tell their story and to have a voice. But
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: just remember this, you have a voice even if you
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: don't have a platform, right right. Don't feel like you
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: don't have a voice just because you don't have millions
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: of followers. There's always ways to speak out and find
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: community and seek community. I mean, Doc has a community.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I do. I have a group on Facebook called the
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Love Doc Clients and Community. Please come join. I do
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: my best to moderate that group.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: But there's other people in there right that that can give.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: You, so many other people who have been following me
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: and who have gone through my services and are now
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: giving back by trying to be like a wilful to
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: give the advice that I would give right to also
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: help moderate. And so that is a really beautiful group
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: that you can lean into and you can be your raw,
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: vulnerable self. You can post anonymously, and you can get
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: so much feedback from people who have really focused on
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: their own personal growth and development. And let me just end.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: I'm going to end this episode by saying, if your
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: goal in speaking out is to hurt someone else, you're
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: doing it wrong. You have the wrong goal. If your
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: goal and speaking out is to be a voice for
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: justice and to be a voice for healing and for
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: support of others, then that's what makes it okay, That's
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: what makes it godly, That's what makes it important. So
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: let's just end with that.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And of course, if you guys are just looking
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: seeking more help, please go check out doctor Hensley's services
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: at the lovedoc dot com. For our listeners, of course,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: you can use promo code love dot twenty seven for
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: twenty seven percent off any of the courses, any of
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: the hybrid group dates, and then of course go check
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: out our Patreon's account at patreons dot com slash the
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: lovedt podcast. There is free membership, but of course we
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: have three tiers of membership based on what you're looking for,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: so go check that out because we are just looking
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: to honestly grow our community in terms of the support
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: of this podcast. We love doing this podcast. We're not
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: gonna try to sugarcoat it. Today we kind of came
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: in and we were.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: Like, eh, it felt heavy. It did.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: It felt heavy, but gusha feel light or not.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: It's been a great It's been a great day. I mean,
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: we talked about spiritual intimacy and then I got to
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: kind of like lift this burden because as much as
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: I hate to say it, like when something like this
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: happens to you, there is shame attached to it. There
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be shame because I did nothing wrong, my children
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: did nothing wrong, my husband did nothing wrong. Now and
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: there's still like this shame that I was targeted in
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: this way, and I want to be able to release
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: my own internalized shame through healing, through love, through forgiveness,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: through laying down swords, through putting, putting it to rest
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: putting it to bed, and finally just moving on from it.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: I want to move on from it. I have no interest,
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: no interest girl in punching back at you, as long
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: as you don't do it again. I'm proud of you, Okay,
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: So let's be real clear about that. So just know
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: that I'm praying for you, trying to find it in
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: my heart to love you like I know God wants
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: me to, even though he did something really hurt my
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: child and really hurt me. And you don't even know me,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: but I know you have your own pain. It's so
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: I'm letting it go, letting it go.
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: I don't like seeing my friends cross.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: It's really hard. I expect that, but it's really hard.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: I didn't bring the tissues today either, darn it. We've
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: got to get us a tissue box.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: You know what, You know what? My husband is hot
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: and he is a freaking catch.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: And I'm sorry he is hot.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: I have even I mean, like, I mean, we're lucky
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: we got hot husbands. But I mean, come on, who
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be jealous of you? The only reason I'm not
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: jealous of you is because I love you. But if
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't know you, I'd be like, who's that pretty bitch?
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, it's funny because a side story and
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: then I promise will wrap up.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Guys.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: But when the the way I met Sarah was you know,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: I've Finish jazzer size instructor for over fifteen years now.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: She came to my jazzer sides class and honestly, like,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: my first thought was, who's that pretty blonde? Like that
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: was my first thought when she when I saw her
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: in class. I'm not really the mean girl jealous type.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: I love, like, I'm very accepting of of all girls.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: I think, like I feel like I've kind of been
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: like that my whole life. I feel like we're both
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: like that, Like because.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: I hate mean girl energy, I've never been I.
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: Ever felt like I needed to be in competitional friend.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have enough friends because you're the only and
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: you know, it's like the only time I had to
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: have friendships. Like I can barely even be your friend
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: and you're my best friend. So but like, I just
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: don't want to be competition mean girl energy. Society.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: Winning is winning is available to all of us.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Somebody can win, yes, and the success is available to
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: all of us. And so I've never been in that
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: realm of being in competition with fellow females either, and
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: we hope that you know all of our female listeners
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: are in that realm too. So. But if you are
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: looking for healing, if you're looking for you know, really
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: just well attachment security, Yeah, I.
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: Think that it all boils down.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: The foundation of really all of it is finding that
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: security within yourself so that you don't have to feel
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: like you're in competition with someone that you don't harbor.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: Jealousy and hate and resentment and bitter bitterness. You let
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: all that go once.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: You reach your attachment security.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: You let it go. You have to, because you love
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: yourself enough to know that bitterness only eats you alive,
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: It only ruins your adrenal glands. It doesn't do anything
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: to right the wrong that was done to you. Let's
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: face it, life traumatizes us all. We say that all
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: the time, because it's true. All of us will experience suffering,
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: all of us will have had major rejections, all of
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: us will experience pain and unfairness. If this life we're fair,
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: we wouldn't have this platform. That's right I have is
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: not fair, and nobody owes you anything and you can
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: live as a victim and you can live in your
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: own self pity, or you can decide that you know
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: you're going to seek the love and grace of God,
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: which will fuel you, excuse me, and propel you to
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: be able to put love out into the world and
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: to keep moving forward in the best way possible using
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: the gifts that God gave you as a unique individual.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: That's right. See why.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: I love her, guys, and we love each and every
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: one of you, and we just thank you very much
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: for always tuning in and listening to us and allowing
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: us to speak and have a voice. And we just
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: want you all to have that voice too. So please
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: write us, leave us a review, send us an email.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: You can send us an email at podcasts at the
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: lovedoc dot com. I read them all, I promise I
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: read them, every single one of them.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we may have an episode where we just
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: read you know, people's like, if you have a success story,
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: if you if I have helped you in any way,
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: or you you have grown or healed, you know, send
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: us your success story. Because people need hope. I think
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: people more than anything right now need hope.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: This world just seems so dark if you don't have it,
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: So please write us at the podcast podcast at the
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: love dooc dot com. Go check out doctor Hansley services
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: at the lovedoc dot com. And until next time, peace, love,
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: and perspective