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Burned Out and Overwhelmed? How to Create a Structure That Might Actually Help · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to today's episode of the Healing Her Story Podcast.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you are new to the show, welcome.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's such an honor and a privilege to have you in this space today.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are returning, welcome back.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So nice to connect with you again.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm coming to you today with another solo episode.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's been a while since I've done one of these.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've been operating at a much slower pace over these last several weeks as we are in the season of winter here in the northern hemisphere.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I truly do honor this time by slowing down, by doing less, by spending more time looking inward, being at home, going deep into my inner world, moving through the things that I'm discovering through that process.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And as such, I've been pulling back a little bit from the podcast.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: We've started to get a little spark of inspiration.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so maybe if you've noticed some episodes coming out over the last several weeks, I don't know that we'll be back to a weekly rhythm quite yet.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: But we are getting there.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really excited as I have been able to have a more spacious time.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: It really has allowed me to dream and to vision and to gather ideas about what I want to bring to the podcast this year.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really excited.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've got several things percolating in the background.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And we also have just kind of lumped this whole past year of doing the podcast as season one, if you will.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: We are slowly approaching our one-year anniversary, which will be coming up at the end of this month.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that will be right around the human design new year, if you are into human design at all.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it will be a little bit closer towards what feels like the new year to me, being the lunar new year and a little bit further down with the spring equinox.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And also with the start of Aries season, which marks the astrological new year.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm feeling like that is where we will mark the transition into the second season.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And with the second season, this is where you'll see some of those new ideas beginning to take shape and to be shared.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: So stay tuned and you can look forward to that here in the coming weeks.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm coming to you with a shorter episode and yet still a very potent episode.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm still very much feeling inspired by the season of uh Capricorn season that we're in right now.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And in our last episode, last guest episode, excuse me, with Juliana, we talked about gender roles and structures and the societal constructs that we find ourselves in and how limiting those can be.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't had the chance to listen to that, I invite you to tune in as I think it will pair really nicely with this conversation.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: As we are beginning to close out Capricorn season, which will be happening here in the next few days as this episode is airing.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then we'll be moving into Aquarius season.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm looking forward to that.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Aquarius is a very unique energy.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: My dad is an Aquarius.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I believe I have a few placements myself.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And from what I've gathered, it's a very eccentric energy.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I still need to explore a little bit deeper and find the themes that feel most aligned for this show.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: But we will definitely be playing with the Aquarius energy that'll be coming through as well.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that will mark the end of the astrological new year.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: So today let's dive into one more Capricorn-themed episode.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I was inspired by this episode by a recent session that I had with a long-term client of mine.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we got talking about schedules.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And this wasn't the first time we had talked about it.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say it was the first time where this conversation went well.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's less of my words and more of her words.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: In the past, anytime we had discussed creating some sort of routine or structure, she noticed a resistant part come up in her body.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Almost like an internal tightening or a quiet no.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: In our sessions, it was more of a really loud no, I will say.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Over the course of our sessions, instead of pushing through this resistance to, you know, make the routine or make the schedule, create the structure, instead of trying to override that, we slowed down and we got curious about it.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it was really interesting to see the things that we discovered in this exploration.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this resistant part.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've told yourself, I'm just not wired that way.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe structure feels constricting or controlling or like it's going to take something away from you.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're someone who just likes to go with the flow.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, that's me too.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I value spaciousness, creativity, intuition, and freedom deeply.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I also know the value of having something consistent to return to, especially when life feels overwhelming or unpredictable.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe we don't need to call it a schedule, because I think that word itself can carry a lot of weight.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you want to call it a rhythm or a structure or a system.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a loose framework.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's an anchor point.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Really, I invite you to find whatever word feels most right and supportive for you.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is the world runs on systems.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Everything does.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Nature runs on systems, our bodies run on systems.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Even creativity thrives within some form of containment.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Without systems, there would be chaos.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, the world already feels pretty chaotic.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine what it would be like with no structure or systems at all.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that chaos without systems or structures is your internal experience right now.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: What I think many women fail to realize is that it's actually the system that supports us.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's a saying, you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I find that to be so true, especially for women who are holding a lot, caring for others, creating healing, and trying to live more consciously.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Without some kind of supportive system, we're often unintentionally setting ourselves up for overwhelm, burnout, and decision fatigue.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that feels especially important, especially not to say that word again, but I'm really bringing this point here.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you grew up in a chaotic or unpredictable environment, then you might struggle with this a little bit more than someone who maybe didn't grow up in that type of environment.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: If your childhood lacked consistency, safety, reliability, your nervous system may have learned that chaos is normal.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes familiar and perhaps even expected.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: So when things start to feel calm or predictable, your body or a part of you might actually resist that.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not because it's quote unquote bad for you, more so because it's unfamiliar.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: But what's familiar isn't always what's optimal, especially for who you are now.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're not the same person you were ten years ago or even a year ago.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're growing, changing, healing, and transforming.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And your internal operating system may need an update to support the version of you that exists today.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: From a nervous system perspective, predictability is regulating.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Research in trauma psychology and neuroscience shows that consistent routines help signal safety to our brain, particularly to the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for detecting threat.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: When our days have some rhythm, our nervous system doesn't have to stay on high alert, essentially.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Predictability tells the nervous system, you're safe, you can relax.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing to be on guard about right now because we know what to expect and we know what's coming.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is true hormonally as well.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're someone who struggles with hormone balance, listen up.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our hormones actually like us to be a little boring in the most supportive way.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Waking up and going to bed around the same time each day, eating meals with some consistency, moving our bodies in familiar patterns.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: All of this supports our circadian rhythm.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Our circadian rhythm influences so much more than sleep.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: It affects mood, energy levels, stress hormones like cortisol, digestion, immune health, and even how resilient we feel emotionally, meaning how much stress we can handle in our day-to-day.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: When there's predictability, the nervous system begins to settle, maybe sleep quality begins to improve, maybe mood swings can soften, energy can become more stable, and decision making becomes easier.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Systems also help reduce mental fatigue.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we know women, especially women who are caretakers, creatives, or cycle breakers, are already carrying the majority of the mental load.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: So why would you add more decisions to an already full plate instead of asking yourself every day, should I take a walk?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Should I rest?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Should I move my body?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can maybe explore removing the question and see what it would be like to just do the thing gently and imperfectly because it's part of your rhythm.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: For example, every day after I eat lunch, I take a walk.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I only have 10 minutes.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some days I do have 40 minutes.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some days I only have five.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: But no matter what, unless it's just torrential downpour, I take a walk after I eat lunch.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes what holds people back is an all or nothing mindset.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: You might think that once you create a structure, you have to follow it perfectly, or you failed.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I want you to remember that you are your own boss here.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: If it's time for a walk and your energy is low, honoring your body might mean taking a shorter walk.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's been my walks this week after lunch.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've been on my bleed and I haven't felt like a full 20 or 30 minute walk.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I just take a 10 or 15 minute walk.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe your body really doesn't want to go on the walk.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you would just rather stretch or lay on the floor and do some breathing.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's perfectly okay.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Structure doesn't mean rigidity, it can mean support with flexibility.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you see, this is what I love so much about cyclical living because it is an inherent system, which, by the way, you have built into your biology.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's a built-in rhythm each month that lives inside of you already.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's a time where your body is more biologically equipped for rest and going inward.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's a time where your body is more biologically equipped for reflection and planning.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: There is a time where your body is more biologically equipped to take action and to socialize and to put yourself out in the world.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also a time where you're more biologically equipped to refine and to release and to let go.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: This rhythm, my menstrual cycle rhythm, keeps me anchored in something predictable and supportive without stripping away intuition or creativity.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: It actually protects my energy and helps me avoid burnout.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're curious to learn more about this, I have a four-part mini series of the cycle sync episodes where I walk you through my self-care for each of the different phases of my menstrual cycle.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: So if you scroll back and look for four of the cycle sink episodes that are focused on self-care through menstruation, through pre-ovulation or the follicular phase, through ovulation, and through the premenstruum or the luteal phase.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: So those are there for you to explore if you're curious.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: We do explore this more as the weeks go by in our cycle syncing episodes.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't tuned into those, maybe explore tuning in with me every Monday, because that is a big intention of those episodes, is to help you root into a more sustainable rhythm, to root into a sustainable system that is already built into your biology, yes, and also the natural cycles of the world.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are wanting to create some better systems or routines or support for yourself this year, ones that feel nourishing rather than controlling, flexible rather than rigid, working with the moon and your menstrual cycle is a beautiful place to start.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: On Monday's Cycle Sync episode, I'll be sharing a special tool that I've created to help you begin.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: And since we'll be entering a new moon cycle on Sunday, this is a really perfect moment, an optimal moment for a gentle new beginning.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this year you don't need more discipline.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this year you don't need to force yourself into someone else's system.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just need support that feels right and sustainable and aligned for you.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exact exactly what we're building here.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we're building it here together.