Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: The consequences of playing soldier

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: The consequences of playing soldier · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: So, you know what's the worst thing for a doctor?
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Is when you walk into the doctor's rooms and you've
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Googled stuff. Okay, Dr. Google. They hate that. Doctors, real doctors.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: You know what the cops and the military hate? Is
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: when you try to get into a military conversation with
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: them and your experience is you've been playing Call of Duty.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: And now you're a fully fledged soldier because you can
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: get to the last stage of this game. Or you've
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: watched all the action war movies. Exactly right.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is what happened at this time.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: These guys met online in the gaming world. They play
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: all these shoot-em-up games and they chat in the chat room. And,
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: you know, as the chats go on, as you're playing, like,
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: could you do this for real? Like, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I'm ready. I'm ready for action.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: I'm a natural.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Born to do this. Ready for action. You know the gear.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: You know everything about the real world of it. But
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: you've learned it from the online gaming side of things. Okay,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: so now this guy is saying to his mates, they're
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: shooting up. Yeah, you know, I applied for the South
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: African National Defence Force. Oh, really? Oh, cool. So it's
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: a real deal. Yeah, you know, I applied and did
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: the assessments and all these sorts of things. And he says,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: you know, if I get called up, because, you know,
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: there's a war in Russia, the war's all over the place.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: If I get called up, I'm going. I'm ready to serve.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Ready to serve my country to my mina. Okay. Let's
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: see what happens.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: So, Christo, are you in Pretoria? No, I'm from Johannesburg.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: And how are you guys mates?
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: We sort of met during lockdown when a friend of
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: mine looked for groups of South Africans playing games. And
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: then he found the group that the promotion was a
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: part of. So there's a whole group of friends that
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: I've never met.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: So you guys have never actually met. You only met online.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Yes, but we've spent probably well more than 100 hours
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: chatting to each other.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Are you a Fortnite champ?
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: The game we play is called War Thunder. It was
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: in the news recently because the developer wanted to implement
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: changes and there was quite a bit of pushback from
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: the community.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: Hello?
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Hello, I'm looking for Mr. Pfeiffer, please.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm listening.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I'm calling you from the South African National Defence Force.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: I have you on a list here of having applied before.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, I did.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Mr. First Life, are you ready for action? Yes. What
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: training have you had, if any?
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I did my security courses a few years back, like
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: last year.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: A security course? Yes, I did. So, what, do you
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: know how to work a torch and a baton?
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Kind of, yeah.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, have you had any weapons training?
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Not yet. How long do I need to get ready?
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: What's the time?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: By the way, it's Sergeant Major Robson here. Yeah, attention.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: You have my attention.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: So what we're going to have to do is get
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: you battle ready. It'll be a six-week crash course in training.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: It'll be special weapons and tactics before the deployment.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, Sergeant Major.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Are you ready to serve your country?
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Yes, Sergeant Major. Yes, I'm battle ready. I'm ready to serve.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: What we are getting ready for is battle.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: If I get called to war, I get called to war.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: What's the worst that can happen?
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: I die and I hopefully get honored as a hero
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: because I'm willing to risk my life. I'm willing to
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: take the others around me. I don't get lack in
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: the head and I go full Rocky on them. And
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: where do I get deployed to? Because I'm following the
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: news quite frequently of current warfare phase and stuff.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I can see why they turned you down before.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: I'm serious.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure. Maybe you should just stick to being
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: a security guard. I don't think I've got the right guy.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Are you one of these guys that plays Call of Duty?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Because we get a lot of them. No. No, I'm not.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: I like to keep saying I'm not a sweat. I
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: know my guns.
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: I love my guns.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: You can ask me a lot of questions around guns.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: It depends. You can ask me.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: What size round does the R1 take?
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: R1, 7.62x48.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: That's an AK-47.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Or a 7.62x52, if I'm not sure. Wrong again.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, let me just get.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: There's no time to Google on the front line.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: I'm not Googling. I don't use Google.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: What is happening?
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: It's now.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: It's 762 by 54. It's a 762 by 51. NATO approved.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I'm listening, Sergeant.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: How much Russian do you know?
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know. A few words, not much. Only yes, no.
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Bye. Only a few. Only yes and no, basically. And
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: thank you, that's all.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: How do you say thank you?
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Uh... Uh... Um.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: Shame, man.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Uh....
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's a song.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you something? There's no Spotify on the
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: front lines. Are you Googling?
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not Googling.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: What are you doing?
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: I can't remember. I'm going to be honest with you, sir.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: I can't remember.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: We will be going and supporting the Russian troops. You'll
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: be going to the front lines.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'll be going. No. No. No, no, no, no. Sorry,
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: Sergeant Major, but I'm in a tight spot at the moment.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: If I'm speaking on a point of view, I don't
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: agree with the Russians and what they're doing.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: Attention.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Attention. Eddie, soldier.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, Sergeant Major. No.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: No, man.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: I feel I'm getting, like, pumped by wackers here. Me
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: and my brother watched a lot of your videos on
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: how to speak in the car. My little brother. He's
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: a loser thing. Here's my brother talking to you now.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Who's that Christo de Jong?
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I swear I'm going to get you and I'm going
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: to kick your ass.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: Oh, man.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow.
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: I just wanted to give my life some meaning, that's all.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm going to get you back. Rock this
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: party here on KFM Mornings. You ready for war? Who's ready?
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Are you talking about the vinyl classic? No, I'm talking
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: about the prank. Oh, gosh. Two cool guys, man. Two
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: cool guys. Went way too far.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: All right. We got some of your messages here. Give
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: him a Russian boss, give him a Russian boss.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Shopee's the poor guy, honestly. He's still, it seems
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: like he's still got Windows 95 there, you know, with
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: a loud keyboard there.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Please get this prank of the morning to be put
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: online somewhere. I need to share this with people.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: Wicked.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: That one. That one at the end.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never heard that one before. Please, my prayer
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: is that my fingers don't change into fishhooks.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, Taryn, that was brilliant. I don't laugh that easy,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: but gosh, I'm going to stop laughing. That was so
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: well done.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: You did it brilliantly.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you, brother. All right, listen, the prank
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: shop is always open. Mm-hmm. 24-7. Pop me an email
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: if you want on 082... No. What's that number? Is
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: it yours? No. Mine doesn't start with 082. No, that's...
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I was going to give our normal number. Darren S.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: at kfm.co.za. But yes, Sherlyn, a war is coming up
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: for reals in... This is not play play.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: This is real world stuff. Let's fight. In 20 minutes.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Let's go, go, go.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh. Let's have a look at the roads quickly. Then
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: we've got news and sports.