Latest / Natty Unfiltered / Limiting Beliefs, The Subconscious Mind, and Why Change Feels Hard

Transcript

Limiting Beliefs, The Subconscious Mind, and Why Change Feels Hard · Natty Unfiltered

0:02
If you ever wondered why you want more but
0:06
feel stuck repeating the same patterns, this episode
0:10
will explain exactly why and what to do about it.
0:14
Welcome to Natty Unfiltered, the podcast for moms who love their
0:19
kids but know they were meant for more. I'm Natty,
0:22
a mom of three, real estate agent and online entrepreneur.
0:26
And this is where we talk confidence,
0:29
mindset, money, and building a life that actually
0:34
feels like yours. No fluff, no pretending,
0:38
just real conversations for a woman ready to stop playing small.
0:43
Let's talk about limiting beliefs. What are
0:47
they? Let's talk about what limiting beliefs
0:51
actually are, because most people don't even realize they
0:55
have them. A limiting belief is simply a thought that
1:00
you've repeated so many times it now feels like a fact
1:04
and you might sound. Might find it familiar.
1:08
So some of the things that sound like, I'm not
1:12
good with money, not confident enough, I'm not pretty enough, I could
1:16
never start a business. People like me don't succeed.
1:21
Do those sound familiar to you? Limiting beliefs
1:25
are subconscious stories formed early in life about money,
1:29
worth, safety and success.
1:33
They sound like facts, but operate like
1:37
invisible rules. I know that I've had to work
1:41
through my limiting beliefs over a lot of
1:46
the same things. I've thought, you know, I was
1:49
not pretty enough, I don't know enough. I cannot succeed
1:54
because maybe I don't have the upbringing,
1:59
I don't have the support system. I would, I would just have
2:04
that fear of failure that would just stop me in
2:08
the middle of my tracks of when I wanted to start something and I would
2:13
not finish it because I would have those limiting beliefs.
2:17
I would not believe in myself that I actually can go through something and
2:21
that actually can succeed. But here's the
2:25
truth, that most of these beliefs were never yours to begin with.
2:30
They were picked up from childhood, from parents,
2:33
teachers, society, past failures, or even
2:37
one bad experience. And this is so like relatable to
2:41
me. To, to me. And I'm probably. You can relate to it as well that
2:45
we, it all starts from childhood.
2:49
We're not born with being confident.
2:52
We're not born saying that, hey, I can do anything and everything.
2:57
When we are born and we start going through life,
3:01
certain things are start to be embedded
3:05
in our brains of how
3:09
we are going to be as we grow up.
3:13
And those are the limiting beliefs that we take
3:17
into our as we get older, as teenagers,
3:22
as an adult. And this is something that we need
3:26
to break down as we get older. And now as,
3:30
as a parent myself, I try to recognize
3:34
that in My kids and I try to navigate them and
3:38
whenever I hear those limiting beliefs coming out of their
3:42
mouth, I try to steer them in the
3:46
right direction. I tell them that they can do anything. If I
3:50
hear that, hey, my son says, I can't do this.
3:54
I'm not smart enough. I can't do this problem in math.
3:58
I tell him, hey, yes, you can do it.
4:02
If you need help, ask, ask for help. You can even ask help
4:05
from your siblings, hey, I'm not good in math, so don't come to me
4:09
for math. But your dad can help you, your sibling
4:13
can help you. You can do this. You're smart.
4:16
And I don't want to hear those words coming out of your
4:20
mouth because you can do it. You just need to ask for
4:25
help. Sit down, understand it. And then when I hear that my
4:29
son got good grades or he got a good grade
4:34
in his quiz, I say it, listen.
4:38
See, you did it. You, you actually
4:42
got a good grade. So don't say that you not smart
4:46
enough or you can't do it because you can. So it's
4:49
all, a lot of it starts from childhood and what
4:53
we were kind of programmed to believe.
4:57
And so when you start thinking about that, then over time
5:02
your brain accepts these things as reality.
5:05
And the problem is your life will always grow
5:09
to the level of your beliefs. If you believe you can only make
5:13
a certain amount of money, you'll unconsciously make decisions that
5:18
keep you there. If you believe you're not confident, you'll avoid
5:21
situations that actually build confidence.
5:25
So the belief becomes a self fulfilling cycle.
5:30
But here's the good news. If a belief was learned,
5:34
it can also be unlearned.
5:37
It can be because I've done it.
5:41
Limiting beliefs are not facts. They're just stories your mind
5:45
got used to telling. And once you start questioning
5:49
those stories, you create space for the new ones. Once you start learning
5:54
what limiting beliefs you have and you
5:58
start working on them, they become, they start to
6:02
disappear, they start to dissolve over time. But you need
6:06
to actually put yourself into work. If you continuously
6:11
is going to tell yourself, I can't do this because X,
6:15
Y and Z, guess what? You're not going to be able
6:19
to do any of those things. If you
6:23
feel that you're not confident and
6:26
you're not going to put yourself into situations that make you uncomfortable
6:32
and actually can make you confident,
6:35
then you're going to be stuck in the old ways.
6:39
So you need to always kind of push yourself and
6:43
work on yourself and remove those limiting beliefs to
6:47
set yourself free to open yourself to new opportunities
6:51
and to a beautiful life and that
6:55
you can live and the dreams and the goals that you can achieve
6:59
for yourself. And why does the subconscious mind resist
7:03
the change? Your subconscious mind prioritizes the
7:07
familiar things over happiness. Even when something isn't working,
7:12
it feels safer than the unknown. That's why
7:16
growth feels uncomfortable. It's not because you're
7:20
failing. It's because your nervous system is learning a new normal.
7:24
So whenever you like, if you start a new job,
7:27
you're going to be nervous because you don't know anything about it.
7:30
And it'll take time for you to learn the new skills.
7:35
And then you become more comfortable and more
7:39
confident in yourself because you already know what, what exactly
7:42
that you're doing. When you start driving a car, you're nervous as you
7:47
know as heck. You can be excited, but nervous. But you are doing
7:51
it because this is something that you want to do. You want to
7:55
be able to drive yourself. And it's an exciting,
7:59
but it's unfamiliar to you, but you doing it.
8:03
And then you get more comfortable in your
8:07
driving skills. And the more you drive, the better driver you
8:10
get. Hopefully. So.
8:14
Have you ever wondered why you say
8:18
you want to change but you keep doing the same things?
8:22
It's not because you're lazy. It's not because you
8:26
lack discipline. It's because your subconscious mind.
8:30
It's because of your subconscious mind. Your subconscious
8:34
has one main job and is to keep you safe and
8:39
in a familiar space. Not successful,
8:43
not fulfilled, not even happy, Just familiar.
8:48
So if you spend years believing money is hard to make,
8:51
I'm not confident or people will judge me,
8:55
your subconscious sees those beliefs as normal.
8:58
And anything outside of that feels like danger.
9:03
So when you try something, you know, when you try to start something
9:07
new like posting videos, starting a business,
9:10
raising like prices for your business,
9:14
putting yourselves out there, your subconscious hits
9:19
the brakes. And I know that when
9:23
I was starting on social media it was so nerve
9:27
wracking about taking pictures,
9:30
posting videos than doing videos where I would talk
9:34
to the camera and I would find it cringy,
9:38
I sucked at it, I had to seek advice,
9:42
I had to get better. But it every
9:46
time I would just be so afraid. I was not confident
9:50
in myself. But you know what? I still pushed
9:54
through it, I still did it and I got better
9:57
at it and I was breaking down that subconscious
10:02
mind that you know what, I can do this and I will
10:06
do it, I will put that fear away.
10:10
So you, so you feel fear,
10:14
you then procrastinate, you overthink everything.
10:17
And then you go back to what feels comfortable.
10:20
I mean, I've gone through all of it,
10:24
all of it. But you have to remember that this is
10:28
not a failure. That's just your subconscious trying to protect that
10:31
density that you've had for years. And your subconscious
10:36
mind is so strong. When you start working in your subconscious
10:40
mind and you heal that and you heal those limiting
10:45
beliefs and you come out on the other side,
10:49
you become this much better person. You become the
10:55
person who can tackle anything, who looks alive different,
10:58
who looks at different situations differently.
11:02
It's not. You don't look at it from the scare
11:06
mindset. You look at opportunities. You look at each
11:11
failure as a stepping stone to get
11:15
better and to get better in your craft. And this
11:19
is your stepping stone to the success that
11:23
you are looking for in your life. So the
11:28
real change takes repetition. It's new thoughts,
11:31
new actions, new evidence. You have
11:35
to show your subconscious over and over again that the new
11:39
path is safe. And once it starts to feel familiar,
11:43
that's when real transformation begins. It takes time.
11:47
It doesn't happen overnight because we want
11:51
all these quick fixes. We want
11:55
things to happen quickly like yesterday.
11:59
But you have to think about it, how long those
12:03
limiting beliefs were put into your
12:07
mindset. In your mind it took years,
12:11
years from the, from the day you were born.
12:15
So it's going to take time for you to unprogram that subconscious
12:19
mind to have the new beliefs, to believe in yourself,
12:23
to have the new thoughts, to have the self
12:27
love, self belief. But if
12:31
you stay on track and if you are going to like,
12:34
repetition makes things better.
12:37
Repetition is when you learn things
12:42
and you become a pro. And so this
12:45
is once you fix the subconscious mind, your limiting
12:49
beliefs follow and they dissolve.
12:54
So how do you start reprogramming your beliefs?
12:57
A change begins with awareness, repetition and evidence.
13:01
You don't just think positive, you create small
13:05
wins that prove new beliefs true. This looks like,
13:09
you know, daily self talk, intentional content consumption,
13:13
journaling and consistent action. Even when doubt
13:17
is present, you have to work on it every single day,
13:22
multiple times a day. If you need to listen to some
13:26
recordings, then that's what you need to do. You need
13:31
to. Your subconscious mind is always working.
13:35
So even if you have some recordings, you can even record yourself,
13:40
take voice notes and you can just record like
13:44
say, you know, I'm beautiful, I'm confident,
13:47
I'm successful, I'm abundant,
13:50
say all the positive things, record in
13:54
your voice and just listen to it. You go to bed, turn it on.
13:58
Even if you fall asleep and the recording is playing.
14:02
Your subconscious mind is still hearing that. So don't
14:06
think like, oh, I fell asleep and it wasn't working. No, your subconscious mind is
14:10
working and it's hearing. You wake up in the morning, you go brush your teeth,
14:13
you turn that on and you listen to it. You are cooking.
14:17
Turn it on, listen to it. The more you listen,
14:22
the more like they say, like the repetition,
14:25
it's all about the repetition. The more your mind hears those
14:30
positive notes, the positive messages,
14:35
then it starts to reprogram yourself. And eventually you
14:39
are going to notice yourself changing. You're changing
14:43
your thought process and how you are approach things in
14:48
life. So if you want a different life, you have
14:52
to start with different beliefs. Simple as that.
14:54
Because your beliefs control your actions and your actions
14:58
create your results. So if you keep telling yourself,
15:01
I'm not confident, I'm not good with money, I could never do
15:05
that, you'll keep living the same reality over and over again.
15:09
So reprogramming your beliefs doesn't start with motivation.
15:13
It starts with awareness. If you aware,
15:17
then take the steps to change it. So step
15:21
one, notice the thoughts you repeat every day, especially the
15:25
negative ones. Those are usually old beliefs you picked
15:29
up from childhood, society or past failures.
15:33
Step two, question them. Ask yourself,
15:36
is this actually true or is it just a story I've
15:40
been telling myself? Just because something feels true doesn't mean it is.
15:44
Step three, replace the belief with the new
15:48
one. Not something fake or unrealistic,
15:51
but something empowering and possible.
15:54
So for example, instead of I am bad with money, try I'm
15:59
learning how to manage money better every day.
16:02
Instead of saying I'm not confident, say confidence
16:06
grows every time I show up. And step
16:10
four, prove the new belief to yourself.
16:14
Take small action that's supported.
16:18
Because beliefs don't change through thinking alone, they change
16:22
through repeated action and new evidence. And when you
16:26
do that, over time, your brain starts to accept the new
16:30
story. And that's when your reality begins
16:34
to shift. Now you ask, well, how long did this
16:38
transformation actually takes? So I'll tell you that the real transformation
16:43
does not happen overnight. As I've mentioned before,
16:46
you want it to happen like yesterday, but it doesn't happen that quick.
16:50
It's layered. Most shifts happen over months,
16:54
not days. And sometimes it could take maybe like a year.
16:58
I mean, you can take six months, but you need to stay
17:02
consistent with it. But the goal isn't perfection is consistency.
17:06
Each time you act differently, you weaken the old
17:10
belief and you strengthen the new one. You Know what
17:14
no one talks about is that very same thing.
17:18
How long does it take? How long am I going to see the difference?
17:22
We live in a world where everything looks instant. You know,
17:26
you want instant followers, instant results, instant glow
17:30
ups, instant, you know, weight change nowadays,
17:36
but real change doesn't work like that.
17:39
Really, Nothing in life works so quickly.
17:43
Real transformation is slow. It's built in days when
17:47
no one is clapping for you, when, you know, like sometimes
17:51
when, when you're on social media, it's really like you have to start
17:56
developing thick skin. Because when you don't see
18:00
growth quickly, when your views are low,
18:04
when you see that the sales are not there yet
18:08
and you still showing up anyways, this is
18:12
when you see yourself transforming,
18:16
you know, is the small, boring, consistent actions.
18:21
Waking up early, working out,
18:24
posting the video even when you feel awkward,
18:27
working on your mindset, learning a new skill over and
18:32
over again. And you know what, here's the truth that most
18:36
people quit right before the transformation happens. I've seen it over and
18:40
over again. I've seen people wanted to change themselves and they
18:45
quit maybe a month into it because they say, well, I'm not seeing the
18:49
result. This is not working. And you know, it's like, well, how do
18:53
you know it's not working? You barely gave any time into
18:57
it. You, you know, people start working out. Like, I love all this,
19:01
the New Year resolution. So many people hit the gym first
19:05
of the, of the year or maybe a couple of days after the New Year's
19:08
and then they quit few weeks after.
19:11
You know, they start on social media and they're not seeing the results,
19:15
they're not seeing influx of followers, they're not going
19:19
viral or they're not seeing the sale. They seem to love low
19:23
views and they start giving up or they start jumping to a different strategy
19:28
instead of staying the course and
19:32
giving some time. Yes, you want to continue to improve
19:36
because maybe, you know, like if you did it for months and months
19:40
and months and you're not seeing results, maybe you need to change things. Meaning maybe
19:43
you need to improve your videos, maybe you need to improve your messaging.
19:48
Maybe you're like all over the place with your messaging and you need to zero
19:52
down on what exactly that who you're trying to attract.
19:56
There's so many things, but people just give up way too
20:00
early because a lot of people expect this
20:05
big reveal in 30 days. But real change usually takes
20:09
months, sometimes years. The women you see online who
20:13
look overnight successful, they've usually been working quietly
20:17
for a long time. A Lot of times we see like, oh,
20:21
my God, this person became this overnight success. Oh, no, this person didn't
20:25
become an overnight success. This person took years. And then you
20:29
never know, maybe this person was in a different field that also included,
20:33
you know, sales. And then they jumped into like, for example,
20:37
digital affiliate marketing. So they jumped in also kind
20:41
of with already the skills they've
20:45
developed in their previous, like, marketing job that
20:49
they were in for 10 years. So you might see them now taking
20:55
quicker to start getting the messaging across,
20:59
start getting the sales. But because they've had all these years
21:03
of experience, so you. Just because somebody maybe started a new account doesn't
21:07
mean that they had a different account. Where they've grown,
21:11
they've evolved, and now they've seen success and
21:15
now they start new account and they start growing so
21:19
quickly. But because they had previous experience, so you just never
21:23
know what experience person had
21:27
prior to you seeing them being successful. Because they've
21:32
usually been working quietly for, you know, for a long time.
21:36
So if you feel like it's taking too long,
21:39
that doesn't mean it's not working. It just means you're in the middle of the
21:44
process. And the middle is always the hardest part. But if you
21:47
stay consistent, if you keep showing up, your transformation is
21:51
coming. So remember, like, you're not broken.
21:55
You are pattern. And. And patterns can be changed.
22:00
If this episode spoke to you, it's not by accident.
22:03
Your dreams aren't random. They are reminders.
22:08
Keep going, keep choosing yourself, and I'll meet you in the next
22:12
episode of Natty Unfiltered.