Latest / The You Project / #2109 Discomfort as a Path to Comfort - Harps & Tiff

Transcript

#2109 Discomfort as a Path to Comfort - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh good a boys and girls, Craig anthey hearpertivity and
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: cook the you Project. It's tips back on deck in
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: official capacity as a co host TIV high.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Harps look at usco It only took us twenty five
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: minutes to get you sorted with your IT.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Issues as is pretty well. I've been very good for
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: a long time. But I don't even want to bore everybody.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: But I couldn't hear you. I mean, how after two
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: thousand and one hundred and something episodes, am I still
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: so fucking inept? I blame you and Melissa. I'm not
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: sure why. I just do not want to accept response.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: It couldn't possibly be me.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Blestness, I reckon learned helplessness.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's no doubt I have. Nobody has lower
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: expectations of me than me. No worry about that. Like
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: when peple go you're pretty smart, I'm like sure, aunt, No,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I just spend half a day with me here we
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, you're actually a fucking idiot. How do
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: you get through life? Well, these people that are effectively
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: bumper rails that I just bump into and they kind
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: of keep me. It's so funny, Like how fucking broad.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Think about it, how broad is intelligence? And like, you
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: go to one room, you're smart, another room, you're fucking more.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: On another room you kind of average. But it's and I
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: get which is very bad. I should admit it, but
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: it's just true. I get frustrated and I'm like, how
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: is this doing this? Like why are you doing this
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: to me? World? And the world's like you're doing it's yourself, dumbass.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, breast the on button, bro, just.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Somewhere on headphones, a fucking headphones. So I've got a
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: bad I'm in a bad mood everyone. So it's bad.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: You've tipped me over to hangary time like we were.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: We were going to be finishing in six minutes. Now
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: are you starting well as well and truly kicked in?
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Well, let's do a seven minute part. I'm not really
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: angry everyone, I'm just a all right, I'm angry. I'm
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: fucking angry, fucking I'm not. No, I'm not. I wouldn't
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: be talking like this if I was. But I'm mildly
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: frustrated and that will disappear soon as your day gone. Tip.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Oh you did a presentation. You killed it? Two hundred
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: and fifty kids.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a ball.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Let's let's debrief on that. But don't want to talk
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: about one subject that's broadly relevant and I think broadly interesting.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: But let's give us the two minute synopsis. Because you
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: and I chatted fifteen times about his fucking presentation. I
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: think I knew more about the presentation than you. I
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: just like, I just want to walk you through this.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: What do you think of this? I'm like, that's brilliant. Yeah,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: but what about that? Well that's not good? What about so?
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: And then I thought, well, I'm done on the coaching. No.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I got another call this morning. I'm like, of course,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: we need seventeen sessions on the one presentation. You had
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: enough content for fucking two days of workshop. To do
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: a one hour workshop with two hundred and fifty kids.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Do they like you? Love you? Hate you? What was
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: the response?
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: We had a great time. We had a great time.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I got an unexpected round of applause at the end,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: and I had to stay back and weirdly signed my
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: autograph on about twenty to thirty kids arms.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I thought that was very I was like.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Can you kids please not go and get these tattooed over?
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Because I don't need your parents calling me about why
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: my signature is tattooed into your forearm.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: That'd be great, though, wouldn't it. That'd be great? I
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: mean illegal, of course, and absolutely yeah, why.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Are you writing on my kid?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And in two years that people will go,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: who the fuck's that? I don't know. I don't know.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Why have you got some woman's name on there?
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think unless you're Joe Rogan, and I
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: don't think he asked for it. But I'll tell you
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind guessing, or wouldn't mind finding out how
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: many people have got his name? Thousands and thousands, lots
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: of dudes. I don't know. I don't have you know,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I don't. I've got to be careful what I say.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: But I'm not sure about dudes getting dudes names tattooed
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: on them. If you're in love, if you're a dude
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: in love with a dude, I get it. But if
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you if you like a bloke's podcast, probably no need
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: to go get him permanently stained on your skin.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Imagine what it's like being such an archo. So I
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: think musicians would get it. Probably more like such a
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: have such meaning and people's lives get your face tattooed
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: on their body. There's you would know Tash Sultana.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: She's huge.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: They are huge, and my one of my best mates
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: is her uncle. And I like to get like if
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: I see photos where people have had her tattooed on them,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I send them to him and it freaks. He's like,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: it's so weird because that's just my niece.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I mean, here's the thing in this little
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: zoom room that we're in. It's weird, but someone else
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: it's like it's super cool for someone else, it's like, oh,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: that's an interesting expression of one's you know, humanitry. You know,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: it depends, doesn't.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: A lot of people with Craig Harpers.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: No one, nobody. They started at the nose and they
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: got from the ribs around to the left shoulder blade
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: and they had to fucking stop. They went, I can't
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: actually get his whole head. I can only get his schnozz.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: And that's that's going to be. Nobody wants, Hey, what's
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: the fucking giant nose on your back? And then just
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: a little Harp's head behind it. It's like some kind
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: of you know, when people look down those cameras weird
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: and their nose is thirteen times bigger, you know, when
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: that camera's right in front of their face, and they
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: looked down and it looked like that. Also, not that
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: anyone was ever thinking about it, but have you seen
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: my head get someone's else's head?
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Don't fucking get come on now, come on.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not even being self deprecating. Even I don't
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: want my head. Well, I'm glad from an operational point
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: of view, I probably wouldn't work so well without a head.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I tried to pick ugly friends my whole life.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: That didn't work. You know a contrast thing.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Oh your friends right now listening going hey, oh.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: No, I said it didn't work because they're all better
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: looking than me, which is annoying. You know what's really annoying.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: And we'll get onto the topic at hand. Thanks for listening. Uh.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: My best mate Vin just a man's man. He's like
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: a man's man, like I'm I'm you know, I'm a
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I am. I'm a pseudo, but
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: you know men that can just fix shit and build
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: shit and lift shit. And it's like I'm strong in
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: the gym, but put me anywhere else I'm fuckingshedic, like carrying.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: We just moved all Mum and dad shit and Vin
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: and the Crab and a few other people did it
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: with me. Thank you everyone. He just picks up like
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: fucking washing machines over his head like he has no technique.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: He doesn't train. But he's just like a fucking gorilla,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: you know, like thick hands, thick wrist, thick elbows like
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I try to all the time. Him and I are
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: the same height. He's one hundred and five kilos. I'm
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: eighty kilos. And he's not fat. You go, oh, I
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: must be big and chubby. No, he's just a fucking
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: gorilla that's lost. He's like a white gorilla in fucking Mafra.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: But he's very handy, you know. So there's that Yeah,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: can you move this fridge. I'll just be over here,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: thank you, Janita hand no good good?
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: The dude that goes to the gym every day of
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: his life, just calling shots from the corner of the lounge.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Of course, of course. Yeah, it's all aesthetic. There's nothing
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: functional about it. That's not totally true, But I do
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: get jealous. So I wanted to talk about let's do
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: twenty minutes on this for our listeners who don't need
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: any more bullshit, right. I was thinking today about so
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: I met with our friend Maddie Lansdowne, who's been on
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: the show a lot, this morning, and off the back
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: of that, I was thinking about we're talking about, you know,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: building a business, and like he's just you know, he's
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: a Newish dad, eleven months old, and he was talking
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: about like he just glowing, like never been happy. I
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: couldn't understand it. All that, which a lot of people say,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: which is beautiful, but then now a level of responsibility
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: and awareness and like life gets put through a different lens,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: like everything is different because because of all those things
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: that the parents listening are right. But I was thinking, how,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: you know, in the middle of the mess and the
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: mayhem and the extra financial pressure and you know, the
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: sleepless nights and yes, he actually gets up a lot.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: And I can tell he does because he's kind of
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: just that like that kind of dude. I don't even
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: know what that means, but he's very compassionate. He's very
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: like yeah, and we're talking about out of discomfort, how
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: really beautiful things happen. And I was thinking about how
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: choosing discomfort can lead to comfort because you know, it's like, well, firstly,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: nobody wants pain or discomfort or suffering. Nobody wants it,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: but there are so many benefits to it. I'm not
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: talking about horrible, you know, or guess sometimes it can be,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: but you know, but that shit that we deal with,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: it's just hard, or the strategic pain and suffering that
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: we choose, or discomfort that we choose, And how you're
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: doing something that scares you or is uncomfortable or is
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: in the moment totally undesirable, but when you keep going
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: back to do that hard thing that's kind of necessary
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: to get where you want to go. I'm at A.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I want to be at D, but to get to D,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I've got to do all this shit that's unfamiliar, unwanted, uncertain, uncomfortable,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: all the uns But then eventually the thing that you
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: used to find hard is not hard anymore. It's easy.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: And not only is it easy, it's now comfortable and
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: maybe it's even kind of enjoyable. And I was thinking
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: about so many different examples of things that have gone
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: in my life where I first hated it and I
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: wasn't good at it. I was bad at it, but
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I knew that, you know, I guess a simple level
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: is building a business, you know. And in nineteen ninety
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I opened my first business with staff and you know,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: structures and processes and clients and rent and landlords and
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you know kind of regulations and rules and counsel and
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: government and bills. And in the middle, like literally three
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: months in, I'm like, I should have just stayed in
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: someone else's gym, paid them a couple hundred bucks a week,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: and just run my business here because my entire kind
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: of bills were two hundred bucks a week. And now
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I've got this And then eventually, like you figure it
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: out a bit, and you start to so the guy
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: who's terrible at the leadership figures it out a little bit,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: and the guy who can't doesn't know what a fucking
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: ledger is, you know, he figures that out. Doesn't know
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: how to have a conversation with an accountant because he
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: doesn't even know the right fucking questions, you know, or
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: a lawyer about the the the contract that's signing that
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: you're signing or the least that you're signing and all
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: of these things. And eventually you learn and you develop
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: and the thing that was hard becomes easy. I guess
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: the analogy that we've used many times is the hill
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: and you. The hill stays the same, but you change,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and then the hard things becomes the easy thing, not
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: because it did anything, but you did everything, and as
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: a result, your experience of that thing is now joyful.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: And you were telling me you've just started playing the
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: guitar and you're like serious ish about getting good at it,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: and you're telling me about how much your fingers hurt.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I go, yeah, here's the cool thing. They'll hurt like fuck,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and then you might even have to not play for
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: a day or two because it's almost like they're damaged.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Then you'll get a few callouses, then you'll keep playing.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Then in six months you'll have much more skill, much
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: more understanding of the music. You'll be much better. It'll
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: sound much better, and you'll have fingertips that like fucking steel,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: so there's no pain anymore. To get there. Where there's
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: no pain, there's just every time you pick up your guitar,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: you're not going, fuck, this hurts my fingers. You're not
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: thinking about that because you're like, I'm not bad at this,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: like compared to where I was six months ago. Now
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: this is not just comfortable, but this is joyful. But
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: originally it's painful. You're shit at it. It sounds fucking horrible.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: You're feeling competent, but it's the same, you know, starting
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: your podcast, starting my podcast corporate speaking. You know, I
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: did five hundred I reckon that were somewhere between complete
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: shit and not five hundred, probably one hundred. There was
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: somewhere between pretty shit and average. But how do you
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: get good will? You get good at by first being
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: not good? You get good bye, you know, being the
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: white belt, you know, being the worst in the room. Well,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: the bit of that is like the best in the
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: room can't become there's not another rung for him or
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: her to go up, you know. But for me, I
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: can only go up like I can you know, improve
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: skill and knowledge and understanding and confidence and technique and
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: fitness and adaptability. You know, but you have to go
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: You have to choose discomfort first, you know, with everything,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: like think about like the well worn story on this show,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: but doing six hundred podcasts where you're losing money, but
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: you're losing money but developing skill and knowledge and understanding
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: and like awareness around what makes an okay or a
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: good or a pretty good or a very good. And
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: you're doing it yourself. You're getting the time on the
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: clock and you're getting you're getting the practice, and you're
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: meeting and talking to different people, and you're learning how
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: to head in the direction of mastery. But unless you go, oh,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: this is going to be painful for a while, whether
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: that's physical, mental, or emotional or financial pain, there's just
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: going to be pain. And I can't afford it. Like,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: nobody that does something for the first time is excellent,
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: even if they've got a lot of talent. So I
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: just think this idea of like it's a little bit
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: popular to pooh pooh comfort because we want to be
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: fucking resilient. Mahuck. We all want comfort, but what we
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: need are challenges and we need to know. Yeah, sure,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: but you also want that time where oh this is fun,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: this is comfortable. You know, life is not about constantly
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: pushing yourself up that hill but also swings and roundabouts.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: And you know whether or not it's that or even
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I think the work of the real work of developing
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: the self and understanding the self that is you, the
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: self that is me, and realizing I don't know much,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: like I don't know much, or even in conversations where
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: you've got to pull your head in and go, oh,
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: it's wrong, or I'm in a conversation with somebody and
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I just can't keep up. I don't know what they're
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: talking about. I don't understand this language. With this my
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: knowledge as a one and their's as a nine. But
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: just sitting in that and going cool, Well, maybe I'll
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: just listen, and maybe I won't try to keep up.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Maybe I won't try to demonstrate any level of competence
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: or proficiency because right now where I am, I'm not
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: and that's uncomfortable because I'm insecure and I've got an
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: ego and I want you know, all that shit. So yeah,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I think the path to comfort, ironically is through discomfort
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: most of the time.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Like I always talk, I always think about That was
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: the first lesson that landed with me when I did
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: that first boxing fight. That was I remember standing in
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: front of the ring and looking and going, oh, this
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: ratio of at that time was twelve weeks of discomfort
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: of getting punched in the face of being anxious and
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: uncertain and imposter syndrome and bleeding and hurting and walking
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: in the gym and knowing that I was, in no
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: uncertain terms the test person in that training camp and
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: turning up anyway, like all of that was sacrifice and pain.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: And at the end of the day it was like
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: this four to six minute experience and I kind of went, oh,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: it takes that much sacrifice and pain to get this
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: much in inverted Comma's glory. What's what meaning did that
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: have to me? And why is it worth it? So
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: because if you don't have an understanding of what it
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: means to you, there's no way anyone's doing that. And
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: sometimes we chase the wrong thing or we don't understand
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: the meaning.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon glory. A better term is outcome.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, so, I said. I raised my hand
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: to do that because I wanted people. I wanted outside
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: external validation. I wanted people to I wanted to show off.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I wanted to win. I want to be like, I'll
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: do something you won't do. I'm not scared. And then
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I got in the middle of this experience and went,
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: I'm not scared of all this. I didn't that I
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: didn't think I was scared of but I'm scared of
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: a whole lot of stuff that's present in here. And
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: then I started going, oh, there's value in this, this
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: is changing me. There's a lot to learn here. I
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: was a bit confused as to why I wanted to
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: keep stepping back into this hard, horrible place. It was
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: the first sport that I didn't feel good at that
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I went, I'm going to do this again. Even though
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: most of my emotions most of the time were negative
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: feelings in me they were there were fear and anxiety
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: and hurt.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think also a big part of it is
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: like when we set out to achieve a goal, it's
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: about I'm going to do this, have that, get that,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: achieve that, earn that own that acquire that. Like it's
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: always about some external thing. And how many times do
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: people get the external thing? Like, they get it, they
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: get the trophy, they get the hand raised, they get
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: the business, they get the bank balanced, they get the
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: shit hot body, they get whatever it is, and none
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: of those things are bad achievements. But then how many
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: people go, oh, god, I'm good now. No, there's always
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: that It's almost like a letdown because I thought when
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I did this, then I would feel like that or
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I would get that, and or this would be the
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: emotional and psychological consequence of doing that, achieving that, earning that,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: owning that. It's like, yeah, but you're still going to
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: be insecure even with your new jacked body. I know,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I've seen that. I've never met anyone who's got in
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: great shape and everything else because of that has just
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: been tickety boo, like never, there's always And it doesn't
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: mean getting in shape is bad. It doesn't mean earn
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: hundred grand a year is bad. It's amazing if that's
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: a goal of yours, you know. Like, but I think
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the mist or the overlooked part of this is not
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: what am I achieving or raising my hand to or
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: how great am I at this or podcasting or how
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: much skill have I developed or how proficient am I?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: But it's rather who am I becoming in this? Like
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: what is the me that exists in twenty twenty six
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: versus you know, twenty sixteen verse two thousand and six.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: And it's like, we think we want something that people
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: can see, you know. It's look what I did, and
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I think what we need is something that people can't see.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: You know. It's that oh that just that so many
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: times I've sat down with people and we talk about
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: what they want to do be create change, and we
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: dig and we dig and then they go this, and
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: then I go, yeah, but beyond that, and they go this.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Then I go, but why, and then they go this.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: And when we get down through the seventy two levels
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: of what they think they want, what they want is
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: to be calm. What they want is not to be
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: anxious anymore. What they want is some self esteem and
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: self worth. What they want is love and connection. And
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: we think that that thing will be a con that
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: external thing will automatically be a byproduct or a conduit
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: to that internal thing. You know, when I got in
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: really good shape, when I was a kid from being
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: really out of shape, I think I worried more about
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: my body then, because then I was more insecure and
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: more egotistical and more worried about losing it, like oh fuck,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: and I'd get a bit I just can't say what
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, but I'd gain a bit
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: of fat, and I'd be a fucking neurotic. You know.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like so so vapid, so fucking insecure, so all
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: about getting my identity through things. And while like, you've
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: done some really good things and you and I can,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: well I can look at them objectively because I'm not
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: you and I didn't do it, but I can look
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: at those things, and I'm super proud of you. You've
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: done over a thousand podcasts on your own show, which
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: is amazing. You've got kids who want to fucking your
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: autograph on their arm, and that's all good, but it's
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: kind of bullshit, do you know what I mean? It's
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: it's good, it's a good achievement, but I want to
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: know in the middle of that who you are and
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: who you're becoming and who you are for them. And
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: it's the same with me. I think I know that
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I can get on the stage and be amusing and
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: funny and reel out some shit that makes me sound
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: smart and read the room and all of those practical
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: skills that you develop and that talent that you develop,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: and it's not that it's disingenuous, but it's like, okay,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: but what's the point? You know? The point is primarily,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I guess to help people and maybe inspire and coach
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: and all of that. But then you know, then so
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: many people that I know have been successful from the
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: outside looking in, it's all shiny and amazing. It's all
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: razzle dazzle. And look at them and look at what
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: they're earning, and look at where they look at their
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: numbers on body social media, or they're singing on this show,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: or they're and all of those things are good too.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: But when they're away from all of that, so many
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: people are broken. Like the shininess the outside looking in
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: is amazing, but the inside out experiences dogshit, which is
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: why we can not always but we can see people
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: who are in inverted commas successful according to our culture.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, they're killing it. They're crushing it, are disproportionately
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: sad because you figure out that getting stuff and owning
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: stuff and having a brand and having people think this
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: or that of you, it doesn't fill that hole, you know,
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: and it doesn't. But I think just we've digressed a
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: little bit. But I just think that ability to go
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: like a really small example. So I've got a hand
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: in a thing tonight for one of my papers. It
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: gets submitted tomorrow to a journal. And I started at
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: about eleven o'clock just looking at there's paper that my
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: academic team, which is you know, Melissa, who's my research
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: assistant and Chris and loosing my supervisors, and we've all
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: written this paper like I'm I'm the lead researcher allegedly,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: but you know, but so I had to sit down
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: with this this paper and that's you know, it's twenty
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: nine pages, which doesn't sound much, but to read one
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: page of this paper, one page and to really digest it,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: understand it, even though it's my paper. Just to go
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: through every letter of every word of every sentence of
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: every paragraph to make sure there are no mistakes, it
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: took me nearly five hours, five hours. Three pages of
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: that is references. So twenty six pages took me nearly
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: five hours. And you're just you're sitting in in your
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: little space with no distractions, no noise, no I put
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: my phone in the other room, I turn it on
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: silent because you you know, and it's like this is
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: fucking horrible, but it's like, oh, yeah, but this is
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: what I need to do, or this is what I
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: choose to do, and not everything that I want to
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: do that's going to create an outcome will be fun
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: or painless or easy. In fact, most of those things
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: that are really worthwhile, at least for a period of
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: time will suck, and I was feeling sorry for myself.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out how I could do
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: it quicker. How could I use chat GPT to help here?
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: But no, dude, you've got to read every word and
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: every day you've got to go. Is that apostrophe necessary?
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Is this space is? Does that make sense? Is it
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: like everything? And that's just one little thing. And it's
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: that I had a bit of a pity party for myself.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: And then because the first page took an hour.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Tip I'd stab myself in the eye with.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: A people took an hour. And then I'm like, all right,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: fucking idiot, go and get a cup of tea and regroup.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And I genuinely is feeling sorry for myself. And so
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: now I had to tell everyone in the world because
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I need someone to know see I'm still doing it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I still need recognition. Hey, everyone, guess what I did?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: You know? It's like, you know, but it's that I
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: don't know that willingness to you know, if you really
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: want to develop and learn and grow, if you really
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: want to be successful, whatever that means for you. By
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: the way, doing all those external things that are great
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: is great. It's great, But you are not an outcome.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: You are not a bank balance, you are not a job.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: You are not a brand on you know, Instagram, You're
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: none of that. Like that tells us about you, but
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: it doesn't tell us who you are. Just tells us
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: what you do, tells us where your energy is, where
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: your skills are, and they're all good things. But this
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: idea that when I get that, then I'll be different
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: and better and good so often just not true. It's
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: just not true. And that's that, you know, that reflection
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: of like ll that awareness that like, I I'll shut
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: up after this. But I don't know how many people
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I helped get in shape. Thousands, I don't know anywhere
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: near exactly, but you know a lot. And the people
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: who were then truly satisfied for a long term, it's
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: hardly any because then they're like, oh what about this?
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: And you know, they hold up their arm and there's
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: like half a millimeter of loose skin or something, or
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. No matter where they got,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: it wasn't enough because it's not about that thing. But
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: we think it's about the thing. And then you get
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: to the thing. You've done it. You've dicked the box.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: You're there, you are where you wanted to be, but
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: you don't have the feeling or the experience or the
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: state that you thought you would. So instead of realizing, oh,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: it wasn't about that, we go no, two more kilos.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: We've baked stories up about everything, Like you just when
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: you were talking about that, I'm thinking, imagine, so many
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: people have the particularly like you have the potential to
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: do this PhD, but you need to have the will
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: and understand your meaning in order to sit for five
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: hours and do that. I probably have the potential to
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: do a PhD, but I definitely I don't have. There's
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: no meaning in it for me, and there's certainly no
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: will to do. I listen to you say that, and
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I'm like, there's no way. Like maybe my brain has
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: the capacity to do that type of work, but I don't.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: Want to sit still and do that.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: That makes me, you know, And we have a problem
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: saying it's not a priority or I'm not willing to
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: do that work. We make up stories and excuses and
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: then we believe them.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but also I mean this, truly, I don't think
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: doing a PhD compared to many I think being a
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: parent is harder than doing a PhD. Like I think
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: being a mum dad's good, but let's be honest, mum's
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: fucking amazing. Go the dads, single dads, that's hard. But
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: like watching parents deal with oh sometimes thirty years, I'm like, fuck,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: that's infinitely harder than doing a PhD. You know. It's
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: like yeah, people are like, oh, that's so wow. Wow,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like really not wow. And also if you had
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: to ask me when I was thirty, I couldn't have
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: done it because I just didn't like it didn't mean
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: anything to me. I was busy dicking other boxes, doing
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: other things, you know. And then someday you maybe maybe
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: get to a point where you go, you know, maybe
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I could do this, or what if I did it?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Why would I do it? You know? What are my reasons?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: You know? And you know, so it's there's no right
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: or wrong in terms of global choices. Oh everyone should
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: do this or everyone should do that. No, you need
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: to figure out what it is that you want to do.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: And then, as I did a solo episode the other
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: day about digging into the why, like what's your reason?
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: It's all well and good to go, yeah, and then
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: and then what like, the idea for me to finish
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: this and then just do nothing or not do nothing,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: but do no more research or study, I'm like, scares
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: me a bit and excites me a bit. So my
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: next challenge is to not fucking do any of this
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: and just try to find purpose and joy in you know,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: other stuff, which I already do. So yeah, it's that
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I think, what is the hard thing that I need
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: to do that I don't want to do that will
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: help produce the existence or the reality or the outcome
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: that I really need, not even want? Like, what do
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I actually need not want? Because I want lots of
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: stuff that probably wouldn't make my life better, you know.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: And but that kind of.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Reverse engineer that how do you figure out what you need?
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Well, I think what most of the things. So let's
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: just stick glued all of our listeners who which is
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: not all of our listeners, but the vast majority of
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: our listeners who are not wanting for anything practically. You know,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: it's not like and I know this is not global,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: but I would think the majority of our listeners have
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: a bed, they're relatively safe, they have some way to
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: get around, they have food, they have at least one
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: or two people who love them, but I totally acknowledge
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: that's not everyone. But I think beyond that, like just
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: you know Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Have you heard of that? Yeah,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: which is kind of all the shit that we just
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: need for survival. But then above that, it's like my
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: needs are really emotional and psychological, like really, it's like
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: I want to be connected, I want to be loved.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: I want to be I want to be of value.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I want to feel like I have a purpose bigger
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: than me. It's like we were talking just before, and
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: one of the things that makes me periodically stressed but
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: more often happy is when people go out of their
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: way to come and see me, to talk to me,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: including flying from other states to sit with me for
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: one hour, which I wouldn't recommend to anybody, but people
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: want to do it. And just realizing how great that
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: people want to sit with me and talk to me
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: and they value me in that way and they respect
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: me in that way, and like that's a blessing. Like,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I would rather people think I'm a genuine
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: person than I'm fucking hot or super talented or I
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: couldn't like that appealed to me once, but it's so
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: vacuous it just doesn't lead to For me, it doesn't
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: lead to anything spiritually, emotionally or psychologically nourishing. It doesn't
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: feed me.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: My ego is this voracious, fucking, insatiable, fucking you know
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: thing that just wants all this shits. But I'm I
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: think I'm at a point I'm still a work in progress,
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: but just where I recognize that, I'm like, oh, well
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: that's still there, you know. But it's then how you
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: self regulate, you know, when I'm feeling insecure or inadequate
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: or pretty fucking amazing, or like I think I'm the shit,
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: or it's just having the awareness in that moment of
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: and while there's also we can think highly of ourselves
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: without being arrogant or egotistical. I think we need self love.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I think we need to go you know what, as
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: much as I can be, I think I'm doing okay,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: you know. So it's all about self awareness, not self loathing.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: But that for me, it's like I've said this probably
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: ten times in eight years on the show. But if
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: I got offered tonight to talk to ten thousand people
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: in a room for no dollars or one hundred people
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: in a room for ten thousand dollars, I would hand
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: on hard choose the free gig because for me, being
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: able to reach ten thousand people impact ten thousand people
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: in real time, face to face, in a three dimensional
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: kind of real life. I can see, touch, feel humans,
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I can hug someone, I can laugh with someone, I
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: can cry with someone. So that fuels my spiritual, emotional
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: and psychological bank balance way more than a few more
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: dollars in the bank or a lot more dollars in
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: the bank, because you get to you get to a
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: point some of us where many of us maybe not everyone,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: of course, but you get to a point. And I
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: don't mean about owning heaps of shit, but you go,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: how much money do I need, like need, not want?
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: And how much stuff do I need not want? And
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: one of my goals this year and I hate being
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: a person who sets goals for the years, but fuck it,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: here I am hands in the air, is just to
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: basically get rid of everything that I don't use or
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: really want and I just have so much. You know,
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: He's an example, and then I'll shut up. So last
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: night I thought I'm going to get did I tell
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: you this the guitar story. Anyway, I'm going to take
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: my I've got a mate on guitar, which is a
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: beautiful guitar, and it's kind of people who play guitar
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: hold them in relatively high regard there. They're just nice guitars, right,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: and then it just gets not used nearly enough. And
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: I bumped into a guy that I know who fixes guitars,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: three strings guitars, kind of gives them a tune and service.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I'll give him a shout out. His name's Ron Lees.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: He's in Hampton Street. He's got a music store. He's
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: a beautiful human being. If your kids or you need
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: lessons or I'm just giving him a plug because he's
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: just rock solid human right and being in music his
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: whole life. Anyway, So I bumped into him the other day.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I said, mate, I've got to bring my guitar up
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: because it's fucking sitting in the corner of my bedroom
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: on a guitar stand, crying because it gets no attention
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: and it just needs new strings, needs a bit of love.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: And anyway, because I haven't taken it anywhere for ten years,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: five years, I'm like, I better go find my case.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: So I go to this wardrobe or this closet that
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: I never open, and there was three cases in there.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, why the fuck have I got three cases? Anyway?
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: So I get out the one on the top. I
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: take it in and it doesn't quite It fits in,
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: but it's a little bit too snug, right, and I go, well,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe i'll get the next one on the pile
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: because that seems a little bigger. So I got the
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: next one. I'm like, fuck, this case is heavy. Had
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: another guitar in it, right, had a Fender. Do you
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: know what a Fender guitar is? So the fucking burger
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: with a lot a Fender acoustic, which are not very common,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I forgot I had this. And then
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I went, well, I can't put it in here, and
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: maybe i'll put it in the bottom one. I pulled
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: that out. There was another guitar in there, So I
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: had two guitars I didn't know about. That's how much
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: shit I have, right, And so I'm getting all of
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: them fixed and I'm going to give at least one
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: of them away. And they're all beautiful guitars, right, Yeah.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: I just like i'd known that before I bought my
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: guitar this week.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well well yeah, these also would have if he
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: is one of them is Actually it's probably the least
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: of the group, but it's still a nice guitar. It's
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: called at Takamini and it's a twelve string. It's so beautiful.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, anyway, I'm digressing. But yeah, so you know,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: just that what do we really need? Like most of
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: us don't need more stuff. That's not say acquiring stuff.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: As one of my mates just bought a new boat.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: It's like a pig in shit, you know. But for
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: me that has zero interest. But for him, and I'm
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: happy for him. It gives him joy and it gives
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: him family joy, his family joy. And so there's no
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: there's no Debbie Downer on ownership, right, I think it's
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: But it's just like, what's my reason with everything? Why
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: do I do this? You know, I bought a fancy
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: car a year ago, I would say a year and
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: a half ago. I would say, I drove it seven times,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: this fancy car in the garage and my way less
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: fancy car in the driveway, which is worth a dollar
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: eighty nine. I drive every day, right because I don't
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: like I don't care what people think or otherwise I
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: would drive the fancy car. And then last week or
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: the week before, Tommy Jacket shout out to Tommy. Tommy goes,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: can I buy your car? The one that you never drive?
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, let's figure out the price, and he
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: bought it. I'm like, okay, and now it's gone. I
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: don't even fucking miss it. I don't even miss it.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: You know, it's so dumb, but we all buy into that.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Have you got a lot of shit to throw out
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: at your joint? Like, of all the stuff that you have,
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: how much of it don't you use?
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah? So, like I've got a lot of clothes, clothes
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: I never wear.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I've got two wardrobes or two Erry Mouse and two
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: big wardrobes and their chocolate block, and I never have
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: clothes to wear. And I never wear the clothes I have.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: What is that about?
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Only forty pairs of shoes? I don't wear them.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: So, as you know, we just moved on. And Mary recently,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: and Mary who's eighty six and probably ain't going to
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: be going out a lot, right, but she'll go out
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: here and there. And but so we moved the initial move.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: We got all the stuff that they needed needed, and
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I would say there was six to eight pairs of
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: shoes for Mumm and she's like, I want you to
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: bring that suitcase or there's two suitcases. And I looked
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: in the two suitcases back at House one. I'm not lying.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: There was maybe sixty pairs of shoes.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: It's my mum too.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Mary, there's sixty pairs of shoes. I want them.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that's great. You're never going to wear them
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: because you haven't worn them in the last ten years.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: You never know, she says.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm with that. I totally understand.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: You're with that.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you do never know?
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: Well you do? Now, Well what do I know. I'm
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: just a dude with about five pairs of shoes and
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: one pair of thongs, So don't fucking listen to me.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: I know nothing, all right. Well, I don't know if
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: anyone got anything out of that, but I know that
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: you're hungry, and I don't want to get in between
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: you and food. So it seems like a prudent decision
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: that and also you and Scott, I feel like it's
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: wise that we should wind this up so you enjoy
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: your dinner. And Scott in that order. Oh there's so
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: many great things I could say right now, fuck and great.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I won't say any of them, of course, we don't
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: want to be.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: I am very hungry and I am very lucky. He's
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: a chef, you are?
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: That is good? That is he cooking as we speak?
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Ye?
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Is he cheffing his the last off?
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: Do you know what's for dinner?
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: No? You never tell you all ask him?
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: Can you ask? Oh? You won't tell you it? Just
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: played it up, really, yep, I know a Scott.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah you do.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Any Scott's out there that want to move
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: in and just feed me. You've got to be a dude,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: because I'm no good with girls, so so you've got
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: to be a dude, preferably a mute with.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: Kitchen skills, not having mine.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: All right, All right, well I think we're done. I'm
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: sorry everyone yet to listen to all that. But anyway,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: it's a bit of a bit of a chat. We'll
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: see you next time and hopefully it be better. Thanks TIV,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: Thanks Hav