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5 Days to Reset & Reclaim Your Mind Day 2: Creating a New Focus · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:14
Speaker 1: Okay, everyone, welcome to episode two of our five day
0:19
Speaker 1: mini series, and this episode is all about kind of
0:24
Speaker 1: beginning to train your brain to start feeling better about
0:30
Speaker 1: our goals. Okay, so you want to look at your
0:33
Speaker 1: brain as I mean, I fucking said this a thousand times,
0:36
Speaker 1: but you want to think, how can I make my brain,
0:38
Speaker 1: or more so, my mind work for me instead of
0:41
Speaker 1: me always feeling like I have to work for my mind.
0:44
Speaker 1: It's like, instead of having my mind control me, how
0:46
Speaker 1: can I regain that control and take power back from
0:50
Speaker 1: my mind? How can we work cohesively together as a team,
0:54
Speaker 1: Because sometimes when things kind of go a little bit
0:57
Speaker 1: all over the place, it feels like we're two entities
1:01
Speaker 1: where we're kind of battling against each other. But the
1:03
Speaker 1: only reason that's the case, it's not because your brain
1:05
Speaker 1: is trying to work against you. It's because we slip
1:09
Speaker 1: into subconscious patterns, and then due to these patterns, the
1:14
Speaker 1: brain kind of gets set up to automatically process things
1:18
Speaker 1: in a certain way. Okay, so the brain, weirdly enough,
1:21
Speaker 1: is trying to help you. If you're having anxious thoughts,
1:24
Speaker 1: it's because the brain is trying to protect you. It's
1:26
Speaker 1: it's you know, maybe you've leant into anxious thoughts so
1:29
Speaker 1: often that the brain's like, ah, I need to protect
1:31
Speaker 1: you even more. I need to be more fearful. Watch out,
1:34
Speaker 1: watch out, watch out. But everything that the brain does
1:36
Speaker 1: is trying. It's trying to do the right thing. When
1:39
Speaker 1: we think about it negative thoughts so much, the brain's like, okay, well,
1:42
Speaker 1: I'll just make it easier for you to remember this
1:44
Speaker 1: negative thought you're thinking about it so much. I'll just
1:46
Speaker 1: have it at the forefront like a tract's like, I'll
1:48
Speaker 1: bring in similar things, you know. So as frustrating as
1:51
Speaker 1: it is, I want you to understand that the brain
1:54
Speaker 1: is a neutral thing. Don't look at it as it's
1:57
Speaker 1: against me or whatever. We're going to turn it into
2:02
Speaker 1: something that is working for us. And this can be
2:05
Speaker 1: done through many, many techniques. The fucking millions that I've
2:09
Speaker 1: spoken about on the last four hundred plus episodes and
2:12
Speaker 1: what we're going to be talking about today. So, like
2:13
Speaker 1: I said, this whole series is all about a mental
2:17
Speaker 1: reset and gaining control over your mind again. So what
2:22
Speaker 1: we want to focus on today is how to we
2:26
Speaker 1: what we're redirecting Number one, which is what we spoke
2:28
Speaker 1: about yesterday zooming out and gaining perspective, but also not
2:32
Speaker 1: getting into this loop of self analyzing, planning, and rethinking.
2:37
Speaker 1: I think we can all admit that we've been there
2:40
Speaker 1: where we get stuck in this place of inaction. If
2:43
Speaker 1: you've ever listened to my podcast on soft action Versus
2:45
Speaker 1: Hard Action, go look up that title in the fucking
2:48
Speaker 1: podcast thing, Pull it up, listen to it. But there's
2:51
Speaker 1: two kinds of actions that we can take. Soft action,
2:54
Speaker 1: which is kind of supportive action. It's the easier action,
2:57
Speaker 1: it's nothing that makes you feel vulnerable or real effort.
3:01
Speaker 1: And then there's the hard action, it's the physical doing
3:04
Speaker 1: off that thing, and everything requires both. But what a
3:07
Speaker 1: lot of us get stuck in is we get stuck
3:10
Speaker 1: in the loop of soft action only, and that's when
3:13
Speaker 1: it can be a problem for us. So an example
3:16
Speaker 1: of this is, you know, say you have a goal
3:19
Speaker 1: for how you want your year to look like, whether
3:21
Speaker 1: it be travel, relationships, experiences, you want to have, your
3:24
Speaker 1: dream apartment, the career you want to go into. So
3:27
Speaker 1: you then spend a lot of time in this planning phase.
3:31
Speaker 1: So you're like you're sitting, you're planning, you're writing, things down,
3:35
Speaker 1: you only look at like the vision board, but you're
3:37
Speaker 1: not doing any of the hard actions, and then you
3:39
Speaker 1: kind of get stuck in this loop of this self analyzing, planning, rethinking.
3:45
Speaker 1: Then you revisit it and you think, nah, I'd be
3:47
Speaker 1: better if it was like this, NA, Or say back
3:49
Speaker 1: to the example that I did yesterday about you wanted
3:52
Speaker 1: to launch a podcast. You start to spend way too
3:56
Speaker 1: much time planning the perfect podcast, perfect episode titles, but
4:02
Speaker 1: then you're not recording right. So then because you spend
4:05
Speaker 1: so much time going and rehashing and planning and rehashing hashing,
4:09
Speaker 1: then you get so critical of yourself. You start to
4:12
Speaker 1: give yourself too much time, way too much time to
4:16
Speaker 1: pluck out the things that don't work or the things
4:18
Speaker 1: that wouldn't work. You allow yourself too much time to
4:21
Speaker 1: doubt yourself because in that time of inaction and only
4:25
Speaker 1: soft action, you start to think, wait a minute, I've
4:28
Speaker 1: just seen that there's another forty five thousand people doing
4:32
Speaker 1: this same fucking podcast. Maybe I'm mentoring a really saturated market.
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Speaker 1: Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, Maybe this is ridiculous.
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Speaker 1: Who the fuck's going to listen to me? Where do
4:39
Speaker 1: I get my audience, and then all these doubts start to,
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Speaker 1: like I said last yesterday, cock block you from taking
4:46
Speaker 1: that hard action. Okay, so we need to really focus
4:50
Speaker 1: on are we getting ourselves stuck in this loop of
4:53
Speaker 1: self analyzing, planning, rehashing, rethinking, because it's all well and
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Speaker 1: good when that's coupled with action, because that, to me,
5:02
Speaker 1: is taking on feedback from your experiences and then applying
5:05
Speaker 1: that feedback. But when there's no hard action and it's
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Speaker 1: all soft action, then this reassessing, rehashing, reapplying is futile
5:13
Speaker 1: because you don't have real data to go off. Okay,
5:17
Speaker 1: we are just preempting what could go wrong what we
5:20
Speaker 1: think we are, and then that's when doubt creeps in.
5:22
Speaker 1: When you try and preempt all the things that go wrong,
5:24
Speaker 1: you are going to self doubt so fucking much. Trust me,
5:28
Speaker 1: The doubts that you have for yourself are always going
5:30
Speaker 1: to be bigger prior to you trying than when you're trying.
5:33
Speaker 1: Because when you're trying, yes, you might come across some
5:36
Speaker 1: roadblocks and flaws and whatever, but you're also learning and
5:39
Speaker 1: learning and learning and learning. So if you know, I
5:42
Speaker 1: always take it back to this kind of fork in
5:44
Speaker 1: the road moment that I had when I first started
5:46
Speaker 1: the podcast. I had recorded the first episode. I listened
5:48
Speaker 1: to it and I was like, I actually don't love that.
5:52
Speaker 1: I think I need to re record this. And I
5:55
Speaker 1: had this like moment of like do I pull the lever?
5:59
Speaker 1: Do I do I delete? Do I pull the trigger
6:01
Speaker 1: and launch it? And I had this moment in me
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Speaker 1: of exactly this, being like I don't have the feedback yet.
6:07
Speaker 1: You know, how much better could it be if I've
6:10
Speaker 1: never fucking done an episode before? Just just put it
6:13
Speaker 1: out there. It's not horrible, you're being dramatic. It's good,
6:16
Speaker 1: but it could be better, Yes, but let's just put
6:18
Speaker 1: it out there. And I actually think that had I
6:20
Speaker 1: paused and rehashed and redone it, it would have been
6:23
Speaker 1: maybe another few weeks or months before I actually launched
6:27
Speaker 1: the podcast. Okay, So what I'm trying to say is
6:30
Speaker 1: how do we become more focused on the actual task,
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Speaker 1: on the hard action and feel good about it. How
6:37
Speaker 1: do we take the pressure away? Okay, so we're basically
6:42
Speaker 1: the main thing that I think is blocking us is
6:44
Speaker 1: the pressure. So there's two things that I want you
6:47
Speaker 1: to do. Number One, we're going to create a new focus,
6:51
Speaker 1: a new activity, a new task that you're going to
6:56
Speaker 1: start working on that has no emotion resistance. Okay, when
7:02
Speaker 1: you think about it, there's no self doubt creeping in
7:05
Speaker 1: because maybe you just don't like the stakes aren't that high.
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Speaker 1: There's no you know, like, say, for example, you really
7:13
Speaker 1: really really want to be a good surfer and the
7:15
Speaker 1: dream of yours. When you get out there on your
7:17
Speaker 1: first surfing day, you might actually do worse than someone
7:21
Speaker 1: who's gone out there being like, ah, fuck it whatever.
7:23
Speaker 1: And that's where beginner's luck comes in. When someone doesn't
7:26
Speaker 1: have so much pressure on themselves and they're like, oh fuck,
7:28
Speaker 1: it'll be fine, let's just not h they're not resisting,
7:31
Speaker 1: so they probably get to stand up straight away, and
7:33
Speaker 1: you're like, this can't is standing up? They don't even
7:36
Speaker 1: care about surfing, they don't even want to surf, but
7:37
Speaker 1: I'm trying so hard. Is because you already have this resistance.
7:40
Speaker 1: You already have like you better fucking be good. You
7:43
Speaker 1: better be good. You be what's a task or a
7:46
Speaker 1: hobby or something that you can start to work on.
7:48
Speaker 1: Less is more, don't don't overcomplicate it where there's no
7:52
Speaker 1: emotional resistance, and you're going to learn from this. It's
7:55
Speaker 1: not because I really want you to become talented at
7:56
Speaker 1: surfing or at the Rubik's Cube or whatever task you
7:59
Speaker 1: choose to do. It could be push ups, it could
8:02
Speaker 1: be something at the gym, something at home. It could
8:05
Speaker 1: be art. You pick, you fucking pick, But it's going
8:08
Speaker 1: to be something that requires, you know, a level of effort,
8:11
Speaker 1: where you're going to see some kind of growth you know,
8:15
Speaker 1: on your journey, but where you don't really care that
8:19
Speaker 1: much about the outcome, where it's not really going to
8:22
Speaker 1: face you, where it's enjoyable, where you're going to see growth,
8:24
Speaker 1: where you're going to come across some challenges. But it's like, oh, well,
8:27
Speaker 1: this isn't dependent on income, This isn't dependent on like
8:31
Speaker 1: my major life goals. It's not hinging on my identity.
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Speaker 1: So it's just something that I can put my mind
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Speaker 1: to good use on. It's something that I can train
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Speaker 1: my brain to work on, something where I'm not fixated
8:42
Speaker 1: on the actual outcome, and amazing things are going to
8:46
Speaker 1: happen for you. So ideally, I want you to pause
8:49
Speaker 1: this episode and quickly brainstorm three things that you could
8:52
Speaker 1: choose as your new kind of focus or your new
8:55
Speaker 1: goal or new activity that you're going to do. Remember,
8:57
Speaker 1: this is an exercise for your brain, so it's very
9:00
Speaker 1: important for your brain and mind. But the actual exercise
9:04
Speaker 1: itself is not the issue here. Okay, So I want
9:09
Speaker 1: you to release the resistance on what it's going to be.
9:11
Speaker 1: Just pick something it could be. I'm going to start sewing.
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Speaker 1: I'm fucking sewing. My mom's got an old sewing machine,
9:16
Speaker 1: she never uses it. I'm going to borrow it. I
9:18
Speaker 1: am going to start doing like pottery arts and crafts
9:22
Speaker 1: with clay that you can buy and it dries on
9:24
Speaker 1: its own. You don't need a kiln. I'm going to
9:27
Speaker 1: you pick. It can be, mate, whatever the fuck. But
9:30
Speaker 1: ideally it's going to be something, well not ideally, it
9:32
Speaker 1: has to be something that you can see improvement. It
9:35
Speaker 1: has to be something that's accessible so you can do
9:37
Speaker 1: it regularly. Okay. It's got to feel, you know, semi enjoyable.
9:42
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be for you to be
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Speaker 1: a Marta. You've got to like what you're doing, and
9:46
Speaker 1: you've got to see basically like you have to set
9:49
Speaker 1: a bit of a goal for yourself. It doesn't matter
9:51
Speaker 1: if the goal is a very basic goal, but it's
9:53
Speaker 1: going to be like, by the end of the month,
9:54
Speaker 1: I would have wanted to make like three pots that
9:57
Speaker 1: I like, or I would have wanted to sew this
9:59
Speaker 1: basic goal whatever it is, Okay. So what you're going
10:23
Speaker 1: to start to realize is that you can start to
10:27
Speaker 1: feel really good about the goals again when you become
10:30
Speaker 1: process driven. This exercise teaches you to lean into hard
10:35
Speaker 1: action to start actually doing the thing because we don't
10:37
Speaker 1: have the emotional resistance. So when we don't have the
10:39
Speaker 1: emotional resistance of the desperation, I have to have it,
10:42
Speaker 1: and then it ends up pushing it away or I
10:44
Speaker 1: need the money, and then you end up being desperate
10:46
Speaker 1: and then pushing it away. Instead, you're like, I'm here
10:49
Speaker 1: for the process. I'm here for the fucking journey. Alexis
10:51
Speaker 1: told me that I've got to do this thing. I'm
10:52
Speaker 1: here for the journey. You then start to realize, wait
10:55
Speaker 1: a minute, the process of this thing is actually more so,
10:58
Speaker 1: more fulfilling than anything. I'm enjoying the process. You start
11:01
Speaker 1: to realize they're setbacks, they're not the end of the world,
11:04
Speaker 1: and the biggest thing in my opinion, that you get
11:07
Speaker 1: from it is at the end of the day you
11:10
Speaker 1: have this huge sense of fulfillment. Okay. The brain is
11:14
Speaker 1: not that hard to please. Okay, you just need some simple,
11:20
Speaker 1: simple steps throughout your day and you can already start
11:23
Speaker 1: to make your brain feel pleased with yourself. Okay. And
11:26
Speaker 1: one of those things is feeling like you've accomplished something. Okay,
11:31
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if it's big or small. When you
11:34
Speaker 1: accomplish something, you get a rush. Okay, you get dolphins,
11:39
Speaker 1: you get set, you get dopamine, serotonin. You start to
11:43
Speaker 1: feel gratitude, you feel excitement, you want more, you feel like,
11:47
Speaker 1: this is great, I've actually done something. That's why I
11:50
Speaker 1: always say, if you've had the shittest fucking day, do
11:54
Speaker 1: something that's going to make you feel like when you
11:57
Speaker 1: go to bed, like, oh well, at least I did
11:59
Speaker 1: that thing, you know what I mean? Because sometimes we'll
12:02
Speaker 1: have like a really bad day, then we fucking doom
12:05
Speaker 1: scroll on the couch for hours. We try and watch TV,
12:07
Speaker 1: but we're on off and we're on TV. We're hyper stimulated.
12:09
Speaker 1: Then we try and go to bed and then we're
12:11
Speaker 1: spiraling being like, not only am I harper stimulated can't
12:13
Speaker 1: go to sleep because I've just fucking set myself up
12:16
Speaker 1: for a shit sleep. But at the same time, I've
12:17
Speaker 1: done fuck all today, and then you feel shit. Then
12:20
Speaker 1: you feel shit the next day. But if you were
12:22
Speaker 1: to tidy at that top drawer in the kitchen, take
12:25
Speaker 1: out the cutlery, fucking wipe it all out, need to
12:28
Speaker 1: throw out shit that you didn't need. It took you
12:29
Speaker 1: all of fifteen minutes, but you'll be like, I feel
12:32
Speaker 1: a little bit more organized. Okay, work wasn't that great today. Yeah,
12:35
Speaker 1: I could have gone to the gym, and I didn't go,
12:36
Speaker 1: but I fucking finally cleaned out that top drawer. Took
12:39
Speaker 1: me fifteen minutes, but I didn't. It's you're tricking your
12:42
Speaker 1: brain into field well not even tricking it is an accomplishment,
12:44
Speaker 1: but you're tricking your brain into being like, I'm satisfied.
12:47
Speaker 1: I've ticked off something that satisfied me. The point of
12:50
Speaker 1: doing this, of cleaning up that top drawer, of having
12:53
Speaker 1: this new focus that you're going to put your mind
12:56
Speaker 1: to that has no emotional resistance, The point of this
12:59
Speaker 1: is to start to lean into feeling like you're useful,
13:03
Speaker 1: feeling satisfied, feeling like you are no longer in that
13:06
Speaker 1: rut okay, and like attracts like okay. So a simple
13:11
Speaker 1: soft action task will transform how you start to look
13:15
Speaker 1: at other goals in your life that have emotional resistance,
13:20
Speaker 1: And it's going to start to remove that resistance because
13:22
Speaker 1: you start to think, wait a minute, just the simple
13:24
Speaker 1: act of doing something felt really good. I don't have
13:27
Speaker 1: to always fixate on the end goal. I actually, back
13:30
Speaker 1: to the podcast example, I actually want to just make
13:34
Speaker 1: a podcast that I feel good and enjoy. It's okay
13:38
Speaker 1: if I don't make an income off it straight away.
13:39
Speaker 1: It's okay if it takes a while for my audience
13:42
Speaker 1: to grow. The point of my podcast is to do
13:43
Speaker 1: something I enjoy, right, So you know, I should want
13:47
Speaker 1: to be able to work towards it and record things
13:51
Speaker 1: and contribute to it, you know, regardless. So that's kind
13:55
Speaker 1: of how you want to start looking at certain goals.
13:57
Speaker 1: And when it comes to like your fitness goals, you
14:00
Speaker 1: want to start thinking instead of fixating on like what's
14:03
Speaker 1: my body looking like? What do I need it to
14:04
Speaker 1: look like? I'm so annoyed or I had a set back.
14:06
Speaker 1: I had this huge weekend and then all that work
14:08
Speaker 1: in the gym was fine, nothing, No, you're going to
14:11
Speaker 1: turn it around and be like, wait a minute, this
14:12
Speaker 1: is the process driven thing. I want to go to
14:15
Speaker 1: bed and be like, I fucking did that fifth push
14:17
Speaker 1: up off my knees when last week I could only
14:19
Speaker 1: do four push ups off my knees, And this is
14:21
Speaker 1: a big fucking deal, and I've grown and I feel
14:24
Speaker 1: fucking good. So then you start it's all about the process.
14:27
Speaker 1: What process driven thing can you put your mind to
14:31
Speaker 1: to train yourself to a reapproach how you look at
14:35
Speaker 1: your goal? So it becomes more process driven. B train
14:38
Speaker 1: your mind to want to accomplish tasks because you get
14:42
Speaker 1: addicted to that feeling. And this is a good kind
14:44
Speaker 1: of addicted addiction. So when you go to bed, you're like,
14:47
Speaker 1: I did this, I did that, I ticked off this,
14:49
Speaker 1: I fucking did that top draw in the kitchen, did
14:51
Speaker 1: all these things. You start to feel really good. Your
14:55
Speaker 1: mind starts to reapproach how it looks at working on goals.
15:01
Speaker 1: You start to feel useful. You start to feel like
15:04
Speaker 1: I'm actually putting my brain to work on something that's
15:08
Speaker 1: going to reap a benefit. And that benefit is either
15:11
Speaker 1: in the external outcome of the thing, or it's either
15:14
Speaker 1: going to be in how it affects my mood. And
15:16
Speaker 1: you're going to realize when you work on these tasks,
15:19
Speaker 1: you're less inclined to be on social media for too long.
15:23
Speaker 1: You're less inclined to kind of want to pacify your bottom.
15:26
Speaker 1: You're going to be like, wait a minute, I've done
15:28
Speaker 1: that pottery thing. Now I'm going to google that. I'm
15:30
Speaker 1: going to be on Pinterest looking at pots. I'm going
15:32
Speaker 1: to look at these desires. You start to be creative,
15:35
Speaker 1: you start to be a bit more proactive. Instead of
15:37
Speaker 1: pacifying your bottom, you're hungry for more ideas. This light
15:41
Speaker 1: bulb has worken up in you in something that is
15:43
Speaker 1: not even career related, or it's not even like income related.
15:49
Speaker 1: Excuse me. It's all about how do I reignite the
15:53
Speaker 1: flame in me? And like attracts like. So if I
15:57
Speaker 1: reignite that flame, what other flames are to reignite as well.
16:01
Speaker 1: I'm going to rEFInd my love for this other thing.
16:04
Speaker 1: I'm going to rEFInd my love for my physical health.
16:07
Speaker 1: I'm going to rediscover my passion for you know, going
16:10
Speaker 1: out and doing things with my friends. Whatever it is, Okay,
16:14
Speaker 1: So the main things that I want you to focus
16:16
Speaker 1: on for today's episode is not getting into this stock
16:19
Speaker 1: of not getting stuck in a loop of soft action
16:22
Speaker 1: soft action, soft action, self analyzing, correcting when you don't
16:25
Speaker 1: even know what you're correcting because you haven't done the
16:26
Speaker 1: hard action yet, getting stuck in that loop. So think,
16:29
Speaker 1: if I'm in this position, I'm just a soft action
16:31
Speaker 1: person right now, how do I move it to hard action?
16:33
Speaker 1: Go listen to the episode, by the way, Then you're
16:36
Speaker 1: going to think, how do I become task focused? What
16:39
Speaker 1: am I going to choose as my new focus as
16:42
Speaker 1: something that I'm going to work on, random hobby on
16:45
Speaker 1: the side, whatever it is that has no emotional resistance,
16:48
Speaker 1: but where there is a bit of a growth trajectory.
16:50
Speaker 1: So then at night I'm able to be like, regardless
16:53
Speaker 1: of how my day went, I accomplished this thing. And
16:56
Speaker 1: then separate to that goal, what are other small things
16:59
Speaker 1: around your home that you can do that makes your
17:02
Speaker 1: brain have that little like hit of I feel good,
17:05
Speaker 1: I feel accomplished. I feel like I've done something, so
17:08
Speaker 1: I don't feel like absolute shit, I don't feel absolutely flat.
17:10
Speaker 1: The more you accomplish, the more you want to accomplish.
17:13
Speaker 1: It's like when I start cleaning up my wardrobe, I'm like,
17:15
Speaker 1: I'm just going to do one shelf. I can't fathom
17:17
Speaker 1: the word. And then before I know what, I'm throwing
17:19
Speaker 1: everything out. I'm so excited. I'm in like a cleansing
17:21
Speaker 1: fucking phase and I'm just like sprin cleaning the whole
17:23
Speaker 1: wardrobe because like a track's like, okay, so that's what
17:27
Speaker 1: I want you to focus on for today. Brainstormp some ideas.
17:32
Speaker 1: Ask your friends, being like give me ideas. I'll give
17:35
Speaker 1: you ideas, you know, like Google hobbies, whatever it is,
17:38
Speaker 1: but come up with three things and then sit on
17:41
Speaker 1: it for an hour. And then after the hour, you're
17:43
Speaker 1: going to fucking pick that one thing that you're going
17:44
Speaker 1: to work on, and you choose how long you want
17:46
Speaker 1: to work on it for. But it's basically something you're
17:48
Speaker 1: gonna put your energy towards with no emotional resistance. You're
17:51
Speaker 1: gonna feel good about it. Thank you so much for listening.
17:53
Speaker 1: Next episode, Wednesday's episode, we're talking about fueling your brain emotionally, physically,
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Speaker 1: and chemically to start to feel more in control and
18:03
Speaker 1: to snap yourself out of this like feeling stuck phase.
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Speaker 1: As always remember be kind to yourself, be kind to
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Speaker 1: your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
18:12
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself. Don't care