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EP. 52: The Truth About Managing a Business During Personal Crisis | The Ambitious Podcast · Ambitious Podcast

0:08
Hello and welcome back to Ambitious.
0:10
I am so excited to have you here.
0:12
If you are somebody who was listening in for the first time,
0:15
hello and welcome to the Ambitious family.
0:17
And also, if you're someone who listens in every week and you
0:20
know who you are, I want to say a massive thank you.
0:22
I have had so many of you reach out to me and send me messages
0:27
of takeaways that have landed for you in these episodes,
0:30
episodes and things that you've acted on in your business, in
0:33
your life. And the one thing I know is that
0:36
if you are someone listening to this podcast, the reason I
0:39
called it ambitious is because there's women like you who are
0:42
going for big, big things in your life.
0:45
You're looking to achieve massive things in your business.
0:48
You want to achieve massive things in your health, in your
0:50
relationships, in everything. And my hope is with every single
0:55
episode that I record to bring you a structure, a strategy
0:59
advice, an aha moment, if you will, that allows you to walk
1:03
away from the episode feeling like you have more tools in your
1:07
toolbox than before you press play.
1:09
And today is another tool that I want to add.
1:13
And this is specifically for one very specific type of woman.
1:17
And this is something that I think will be beneficial for you
1:21
because if you are someone who either is in the process of
1:26
maybe going through a breakup with a relationship, maybe
1:30
you've recently gone through a divorce, or maybe you have a
1:34
friend or a family member who's currently navigating this.
1:37
I want to encourage you to send them this episode because today
1:41
is really going to be the advice that I would give and all of the
1:46
learnings that I've had of my own breakup, which I'm going to
1:50
expand in a second. And really all the things that I
1:53
learned along the way as someone who is managing a very decent
1:57
sized business and also has most of her life on social media.
2:01
And so today we're going to just cover it all.
2:05
And I can't guarantee to you that I'm not going to cry during
2:08
today's episode because Needless to say, a lot of what I'm going
2:13
to talk about today is still very raw for me.
2:16
But I will be honest, I really wish that I had an episode like
2:20
this when I was going through what I was, because it would
2:24
have been something that would have given me some light at the
2:27
end of the tunnel to know how things are going to unfold.
2:31
What, what is normal for me to experience, what's not normal,
2:35
What do I do with the business? How do I handle my clients?
2:37
What do I post on social media? How do I even show up right now?
2:41
And we're going to dive into all of those things.
2:43
So I want to just say that if you were someone maybe who's
2:47
thinking to yourself, well, I'm in a happy relationship right
2:50
now and I'm not in the process of going through a breakup or
2:53
getting divorced, that's OK. There may even be takeaways from
2:57
today that also we're just going to land for you because really
3:01
the basis of what I'm going to talk about today is how to
3:04
navigate your business when you're not really in a place of
3:08
navigating your business or life.
3:10
And like, how do you manage when you feel like you've got nothing
3:13
in the tank? When you feel like mentally
3:16
you're not the place that you hoped you would be or that you
3:18
desire to be. And how do you still show up?
3:21
How do you continue to grow the business?
3:22
How do you continue to serve clients?
3:24
How do we navigate marketing? All of those things are still
3:27
going to be applicable to you regardless of whether you're
3:30
someone going through a breakup or through a divorce right now.
3:33
And so, you know, I kind of want to share a little inspiration,
3:36
obviously, for this episode, because I am a pretty private
3:40
person. I don't really, up until now,
3:42
I've been in online world and, you know, a business owner for
3:45
several years now. And I've never really been the
3:48
kind to like, quote UN quote, air my dirty laundry on the
3:51
Internet. It's never really been my style,
3:53
Like there's something wrong with it.
3:54
I just think for me, I've always preferred to be a private
3:57
person. But I'll be honest, some of the
3:59
reason that I want to share this is, as I said, it would have
4:01
really helped me. But this year, it's really
4:04
interesting because as I was navigating this, I also had
4:07
people in my world. It felt like everyone was going
4:10
through this and there was people who were being broken up
4:15
with and it was kind of blindsiding them.
4:16
There was people navigating wanting to end their
4:18
relationships that I was coaching in business.
4:21
And I also was like myself as a business consultant, helping
4:25
people to literally navigate how to show up in their business,
4:28
support their team and clients while navigating really messy
4:32
divorces. And for me, I'll be honest at at
4:37
first, when all these came to me and I started to have so many
4:39
people in my surroundings. For me, at first it was a
4:41
trigger because I thought, who am I to help someone with this
4:45
when I'm literally going through it myself?
4:47
But then I started to rethink, OK, I am the person to help
4:50
someone with this because I'm going through it myself and I
4:53
can pass along things that are helping and not helping.
4:56
And so one of the mottos that I have a lot of the time for
4:58
myself in business and frankly in life is to always speak from
5:02
scars, not wounds. And, you know, obviously we're
5:06
several months down the pipeline from my breakup, and that was in
5:11
2024. And I in the moment didn't want
5:16
to, didn't desire and didn't feel comfortable talking about
5:19
any of this or even making it publicly known on social media
5:23
because I for myself thought it was kind of going to open the
5:25
floodgates of inquiries and questions and all of these
5:28
things. But I feel like now I can
5:31
actually, because I'm not as in the deep thick of the emotion,
5:36
can kind of see it a little bit more clear.
5:38
And the thing I also want to say with that, though, is the
5:41
emotions are not gone transparently.
5:43
You know, I had really sad nightmares last night about my
5:48
previous partner and, you know, still to this day and processing
5:53
it, it's I think about him almost every single day.
5:56
Like there's, there's so much of that that's still ingrained in
6:00
me, in my life, in my mind, in my heart.
6:04
And that's not something that is necessarily going to go away
6:08
overnight. And So what I recognize is that
6:12
it's important for us to also normalize that while you might
6:16
not be in the thick of this anymore, the effects of it or
6:18
the impact of it may still be there.
6:20
Which is why I want to talk about some of the things that I
6:23
not only did in the Eye of the storm, if you will, but also now
6:28
have still maintained as things that are helping me to process.
6:31
Because the thing that we know with a divorce or a breakup is
6:35
you're grieving. You're literally mourning
6:38
somebody who's still alive. You're mourning someone who is
6:43
still here. And it's a very confusing and
6:47
overwhelming thing because for me, the thing that I really was
6:52
mourning was the individual, but I was also mourning the death of
6:56
the dream of what I thought my life was going to be.
6:59
And so the mourning process still months and months later is
7:03
still here. It just feels and looks
7:05
different. And so the intention of today is
7:07
we're going to break down some of the things that I feel, you
7:11
know, were helpful for me, supported me in the in these
7:14
times and also might be a support for you.
7:17
So I want you to kind of go in today with an open in mind, go
7:21
in with the desire to look at how can I operate differently
7:26
and how can I maybe operate my business differently when I'm in
7:30
these really peak periods of stress and protect myself so
7:33
that I can function to the, you know, ideal productivity that I
7:36
have within me in these moments. OK.
7:39
So for context for what I'm going to talk through today,
7:42
several months ago at least 6 plus months ago, I and did a
7:49
relationship with someone that I had been with for eight years
7:52
and that I was actually engaged to.
7:55
And the reasons that I did that are not something I'm going to
7:59
discuss today because frankly that's something that's really
8:03
personal to me and I very much respect him as a person and as
8:10
one of my previous partners. And so because of that it's not
8:13
something I'm going to get into. But what I will say is as to my
8:18
point of the death of the dream and especially obviously being
8:21
engaged and all of these things, what I will say is I never
8:26
thought that this was something that I was ever going to do.
8:29
This was never obviously being together 8 years, saying yes to
8:33
getting married. This was never something that
8:35
was part of a plan. And so for me, it's, it's
8:41
actually, I'll be honest, something that I have a lot of
8:43
guilt about because I feel like sometimes when you're the one
8:46
broken up with everyone's like, oh, you have a right to feel
8:49
sad. You have a right to mourn.
8:51
But I think there's this belief that when you're the person who
8:55
initiates it, that you're not allowed to be sad or you're not
8:58
allowed to mourn because you created the problem.
9:02
And, you know, for me, the breakup caused the breakup
9:08
caused a lot of that guilt in me and a lot of shame in me.
9:12
And a lot of, you know, frankly, me having to handle the fact
9:16
that a lot of people probably do not like me very much on his
9:20
side of the equation, and understandably so because of,
9:24
you know, causing pain to somebody or causing hurt to
9:26
somebody. But if I could go into it
9:30
without going into details, the basis of this time for me was me
9:35
choosing myself. And you know, people often ask
9:39
me, was there something that happened?
9:40
Is there was there's the event that happened?
9:43
And honestly, no. I think when you get engaged and
9:46
when you are in that season of your life, you start to look at
9:50
your life very seriously. And I had gone and just by fluke
9:58
at that time had gone and done this kind of like intensive
10:01
experience for myself, for business.
10:03
Actually. It was the reason that I had
10:04
gone, but Long story short, it had led me to having a lot of
10:09
alone time with myself and really getting out of my, you
10:13
know, typical environment, getting out of my, you know,
10:15
typical day-to-day of what things looked like.
10:18
And it was in doing that that I realized that I just, I, I
10:25
didn't feel like this was how I necessarily wanted to be loved
10:32
for the rest of my life. And so he, I will say, is a
10:38
great person and he is not somebody that I'm going to say a
10:44
bad thing about because this was really me choosing myself.
10:48
It wasn't me not choosing him. And I think that that was hard
10:52
for me because then when I was having and grieving and mourning
10:56
and all these things and feeling such a intense emotion, I almost
10:59
felt shame for even feeling that because I thought, well, who are
11:03
you to be upset when you literally caused this problem?
11:07
And it's something that I'm still working through, if I'm
11:11
going to be honest with you, because I will always have love
11:14
for him. But I think what I, I will say
11:18
as, as you know, if you're listening to this episode is I
11:21
think in my opinion, leaving a relationship when there hasn't
11:26
been, you know, cheating or there hasn't been any of these
11:30
things is actually harder. Because I've said to people in
11:33
my world, like it would have been easier if some big thing
11:37
had happened. It would have been simpler if
11:39
there was this like big event that occurred.
11:43
And because of that, that I, you know, that's the reason that it
11:46
happened. And I know that's everyone's
11:49
curiosity is like what happened. And the only thing I can, I can
11:52
really distill it down to you is the fact that like I just, I had
11:57
to choose myself. And I had to, to, to know that
12:02
the way that I wanted to be loved was not too much to ask
12:06
and that I, it was OK to choose you and make that not about the
12:12
fact that you're not choosing someone else.
12:15
And that's kind of how, you know, I ended up where I am
12:18
today, which is on my own and living alone and starting over
12:24
at 32. And you know, I want to share
12:28
this because I feel like I needed this.
12:31
I think I was, it's going to be a hard one, guys, bear with me.
12:40
I think I was just, I was so deeply desiring to have this
12:46
like family unit and this future.
12:48
I so I, so even to this day, like I want nothing more to be
12:51
than to be married and have kids and all those things.
12:55
And so I think I wanted the dream so bad, like so bad that I
13:03
almost didn't allow myself to, to consider that it wasn't going
13:10
to happen in the timeline that it was.
13:12
I was so I so deeply wanted children and I so deeply wanted
13:15
to be married and I wanted this specific life for myself.
13:20
Like it's, I want nothing more than to like be a mom and all of
13:22
those things. And I think that this process
13:26
basically showed me that there's one thing to have this dream,
13:32
but then there's to say, OK, but like, are you other than the
13:35
dream once it's all done? How about that?
13:38
And So what does that look like once you have the kids, once you
13:41
get married? What does that look like?
13:43
And I, yeah, I just want to say if you're listening to this and
13:49
you feel like, you know, but this was supposed to be my
13:51
person. And like, but this was supposed
13:53
to happen in this way. And like, I remember one of the
13:55
first things that I said to a friend of mine when I had
13:59
decided to leave was like, I feel like I'm going to ruin my
14:02
own life. Like I'm going to end up single
14:04
forever. And I'm not going to end up
14:06
having the things that I want for my life.
14:08
And it's all because of me. Like, I'm the problem because I
14:13
hurt him. I hurt myself.
14:14
I hurt all of it. And I think the thing that I, I
14:18
would want more than anything for you to take away from today
14:21
is that sometimes it's not just about having the vision, but
14:27
also looking at, OK, well, this vision is built of a bunch of
14:30
pieces. Do you like the pieces as much
14:32
as you like the picture? And once I started to ask myself
14:36
those questions, that's really where I started to get some
14:39
clarity. And so I don't want today to be
14:42
about my story. I want today to be about helping
14:45
you and to be a place where I can share the things that really
14:48
helped me. And so all about to say let's
14:53
get into it. So let's get into it, ladies.
14:56
OK, so first you want to acknowledge your emotional
15:00
state. One of the things that I think
15:01
was a big, a big thing for me was I initially not really
15:07
acknowledged what was happening. Like I was trying to move out of
15:10
my old house and I was trying to obviously navigate communicating
15:15
in that past dynamic with him and trying to make coordinations
15:19
and cancel my wedding and all of those things while still running
15:25
a business. And I basically was like, OK,
15:29
like hop into click up, hop into my e-mail, hop into creating
15:32
content. And I didn't give myself nearly
15:36
enough acknowledgement of what was going on because I was just
15:40
kind of like, OK, like push through, keep working, keep
15:42
going. And the problem with that being
15:45
is that your lack of acknowledgement of what is going
15:49
on is ultimately not as a result, allowing you to actually
15:54
feel. And so because of that, you're
15:58
not actually going to process anything, which means all of
16:00
your emotion is just sitting at the surface and waiting to come
16:04
out. And so you're not in in lack of
16:08
acknowledging how you're actually doing right now and the
16:10
reality of what you're experiencing.
16:12
People get very frustrated with themselves.
16:14
You might find that you were trying to go and do the same old
16:17
tasks and sending an e-mail or putting up a piece of Instagram
16:20
content is taking you 4 times as long as it used to.
16:23
And you're like, what the heck, Hello.
16:25
You are not the same capacity you were before this.
16:29
Let's call it what it is. Trauma happened.
16:33
You're just not you're not the same place where you were before
16:36
this has occurred. And so I think the important
16:42
thing is to acknowledge like you're not going to perform at
16:46
the level that you once did in your business during a time
16:49
where you were processing heavy emotions and trauma and changes
16:53
in your life. And the faster that you
16:55
acknowledge that, the faster that you're going to be able to
16:59
get a new normal and get a new rhythm.
17:01
You have to give yourself some compassion and some
17:04
consideration for all of what you're navigating and
17:07
processing. And so I really tried to set
17:10
really realistic goals. I very much peeled my business
17:14
back to like the only necessary needle movers and absolutely
17:18
nothing else. Like I wasn't taking on any new
17:21
projects. I wasn't, you know, looking to
17:24
build anything new. I wasn't in creation.
17:26
I was just like, how do we keep the lights on?
17:28
And what is the absolute bare minimum that I need to do in
17:31
order to be able to achieve that?
17:33
This was not a time for launching a new offer.
17:35
This was not a time for putting out a new market fighting
17:38
campaign like this was genuinely mission, keep the lights on.
17:42
That's what the approach was for business at that time.
17:45
And for me, I just had to make peace of the fact that
17:49
everything else could wait. Like I I wasn't in a place where
17:52
I could be building right now because frankly, I had barely
17:56
any capacity to just show up day-to-day, let alone think
17:59
about development for the future.
18:02
And so with all of these emotions, as I said that are
18:05
coming up, I think it was also looking at blocking out space to
18:11
feel like, I'll be honest at the beginning because again, of lack
18:16
of acknowledgement on my, on my part.
18:17
I would literally go onto calls with clients and I would be like
18:20
on the verge of crying at 80% of the call.
18:24
And it happened with like 4 calls.
18:26
And I remember after those four calls, I thought, OK, well, I
18:28
can't do this because like, this is not, this is not going to
18:31
work. How am I supposed to show up
18:32
with these clients when I'm basically wanting to cry on
18:35
every single one and they don't know what's going on?
18:38
And So what I, what I started to do is made my processing like a
18:44
built in regimen for myself because what I recognized was
18:47
that if I didn't process, it's if it's coming up, it's coming
18:51
out. And so I could either allow it
18:53
to come up and come out whenever it decided to, or I could
18:57
Createspace in the morning, in the midday, in the evening to
19:01
allow that to happen. And I'll be really honest, this
19:04
is what I did every day. I woke up and I drove to a
19:09
coffee shop and on that drive, that drive was about 10 minutes.
19:12
I would blast the saddest music and I would just basically to me
19:17
that was a sucker punch to the gut and I would just start
19:20
crying because I was like, if I don't get this out of my system,
19:23
I cannot get on these calls because I will just be on the
19:26
verge of crying the entire time. I would journal every night.
19:31
And again, for me, for some reason, playing music always
19:34
brought up my emotions for me. So I would journal with playing
19:37
music in the background and I would just write and write and
19:40
write for hours because it was the only thing that would
19:44
actually get the emotions out of my body and the thoughts out of
19:47
my brain. And I just kept going and going
19:49
and going until it felt complete.
19:51
And I'm going to be honest, sometimes I wrote about the
19:53
situation that was happening for three hours in the evening.
19:57
And I'm sharing this because. You know, I had this practice to
20:01
get the coffee in the morning. I had this journaling at night.
20:04
You know, I often times would go for a walk in the middle of the
20:06
day and just like go do something to pattern interrupt
20:09
myself in between calls because something that got shared with
20:13
me by a mentor was all of us have a cup.
20:16
OK, so think about a coffee cup. And this coffee cup is something
20:21
that is basically your threshold.
20:23
And so you can have a little bit of coffee that comes in from the
20:26
stress of the day, right? You might have the client
20:28
stress, you might have health stress, you might have, you
20:31
know, stress from anything in your life, right?
20:33
It could be even if you're, you're a parent picking your
20:35
kids up from school, whatever it may be, and you're adding all
20:39
these stresses of your day and before you know it that the cup
20:41
is filling up and up and up and up, right?
20:44
And then when you have something like this happen, you're
20:47
literally dumping coffee in this cup in addition to everything
20:52
else that's already in there. So this cup is filling up at a
20:57
rapid rate, which means when you have additional overflow being
21:01
poured into this cup, you got to empty it.
21:03
And the only way to empty it is to actually take time out to
21:07
process. And what this coach shared with
21:09
me, and thank you, Xander, when this coach had shared this with
21:12
me. There's two ways to do this.
21:13
There's the small elements of relief, which are going to be
21:16
something like, you know, taking a bath or going for a walk or
21:22
getting a coffee, right? They're the things that kind of
21:25
almost in a way reset your system, like they kind of reset
21:28
your nervous system, but that's very different.
21:31
That takes a little spoonful. It takes a teaspoon of coffee
21:34
out of your cup. If you want to empty that cup
21:37
completely, you have to go to the depths of your emotion and
21:41
the depths of what you're you're feeling to be able to get that
21:44
out and start from zero. And So what I realized was this
21:48
cup was getting filled like the, the, the poor was non-stop and
21:52
just ever flowing. And it became my responsibility
21:56
to clear space for that to happen because it wasn't going
21:59
to stop anytime soon. And obviously over time, does
22:02
the flow get less and less and it fills up slower and slower?
22:05
Yes. But in the midst of it, IE
22:09
truthfully for the first like 5 months, I had to really look at
22:15
putting this as part of the practice of my day.
22:17
And I would seek to cry. And I know that's going to sound
22:21
so weird, but I would seek to process because I'm like, the
22:25
only way to get through this is to go through it.
22:30
And I remember, you know, another coach said to me, you
22:32
can't go over it. You can't go under it, and you
22:35
can't go around it. The only way to navigate this is
22:39
to go through it, and your avoidance of wanting to feel and
22:44
wanting to acknowledge and wanting to talk about it and
22:47
wanting to cry, for example, is the reason it's staying around
22:52
so long. It needs you to go through it,
22:55
and every moment you avoid it means that you're going to
22:58
prolong how long you have it and how long it's in you.
23:01
So for me, what I recognized was that my emotions needed space to
23:06
happen. And if I didn't have them happen
23:08
when I decided they were happening during business hours.
23:11
And so I would recommend that you really take space and say,
23:15
where can I block out things to navigate the stress?
23:18
And again, maybe you're not going through a breakup or
23:20
through a divorce, but you might be going through something
23:23
that's just a personal stress in your life right now.
23:25
That's still a practice that you can integrate.
23:28
You can still have the practice of saying I want to process my
23:33
emotions in the morning by doing X at lunch, by doing this in the
23:36
evening by doing such and such and find things that work.
23:41
It could be a bath, as I said, for one of those kind of surface
23:44
level reliefs. It could be therapy that you
23:46
have pre scheduled bi weekly. It could be reading, it could be
23:50
a journal. It could be sad music and
23:53
crying. It could be a smash room.
23:54
It could be whatever you want to do, but find something that can
23:59
be a release for you. Now, the other thing I want to
24:02
say is social media. Obviously, as we talked about, I
24:05
have built my business on social media, which has been a
24:07
beautiful gift to me and I'm very grateful for it.
24:10
But it also in this time was a very was a very added thing that
24:14
I had to navigate because I didn't know what to do.
24:19
I was like, no one knows about this when it first happened.
24:22
I didn't tell anybody like I told, you know, the initial
24:25
close like closest five friends to me.
24:27
But other than that, I didn't tell anybody that this has
24:29
happened. My clients didn't know, my team
24:31
didn't know, social media didn't know.
24:33
And I really struggled because I'm like, should I post
24:36
something about this to say I'm not going to post the way that
24:39
I've always been or that, you know, I felt like very
24:41
inauthentic because I thought, how am I going to show up?
24:44
Because it seems like I'm being a fraud.
24:47
And I just really had to realize I don't owe anyone an answer.
24:51
I don't owe anybody an update. I don't owe anybody the details.
24:55
I don't owe anybody anything. I really just wanted to continue
25:02
to show up. And all I said to my audience
25:05
was, I'm navigating something difficult right now.
25:08
And because of that, in my personal life, here's what I
25:11
would say. And I made an awareness that I
25:13
was going through something, but I didn't say anything as to the
25:16
details of what it was and asked people to respect my space.
25:19
And so I think for me as a business owner, the thing I'd
25:23
recommend to you is realizing that you don't need to share
25:26
everything with your audience and that you as a brand get to
25:29
determine how personal your brand is.
25:32
Like, I know people who basically have nothing off the
25:34
table. I know people who will post
25:37
anything and everything. That's fine.
25:38
But that just wasn't my brand until now.
25:41
And so I thought also by sharing something on social media, I was
25:44
just going to welcome more attention, more questions.
25:47
And I didn't want to, I didn't want to deal with it, But it
25:50
also became this like looming pressure in me because I had
25:53
people D Ming me saying, Hey, where's your ring?
25:55
Or hey, how's the wedding planning going?
25:57
Or are you going to share more wedding content or like, are you
26:00
ever going to share, you know, your dress and stuff after the
26:03
wedding? Like I had so many people
26:05
messaging me in things in context to the wedding and it
26:08
just became really overwhelming. But what I gave myself the
26:12
permission of is like, I get to keep my brand going, my social
26:16
media going because frankly, that's my business.
26:18
Like that's where I generate my income to pay for my life.
26:22
So that wasn't a opportunity for me that I had the ability to
26:26
just decide to turn off. But what I did get to decide to
26:30
do is how much I shared on my page about details or about my
26:34
personal life. And so I really focused on
26:37
making it about business. I started focusing heavier on
26:40
strategy, focusing heavier on just the things that I helped
26:43
people with, talking about clients, talking about results,
26:46
talking about things that to me were just not in the personal
26:52
bucket. Because that was a way for me to
26:54
show up every day to provide value and to not feel just
26:58
because I'm going through this, that I have to talk about it.
27:00
Because who says who says I owe someone an answer?
27:03
Who says that I have to talk about it?
27:05
Who says that someone, because they follow me, is allowed to
27:09
have the details and the nitty gritty of my life says who?
27:13
So to me, I showed up and just talked about business.
27:16
And in that, I'm going to be honest, I felt shame in doing
27:20
that because, you know, my family and his family and my
27:24
friends and his friends are probably thinking, she's going
27:28
through all of this and she's showing up and talking about
27:30
strategy. But guess what?
27:31
I did what I had to do to #1 continue my business going and
27:35
#2 to distract myself from what was happening.
27:40
Because the idea of just pausing my entire business because
27:44
something was happening in my life was not something that I
27:47
was at a place that I wanted to do and that frankly, many people
27:51
can do. Many business owners like
27:52
yourself even may not be at a place where you can pause your
27:56
business and say, hey, I'm just not going to sell and I'm just
27:58
not going to market and I'm not going to serve clients for the
28:01
next 5 months while I process this.
28:04
I tell clients even now, one of the things that I think actually
28:09
makes the most powerful entrepreneur is those that
28:11
experience adversity while having to grow their business.
28:14
Because truthfully, for me, this process, while extremely painful
28:18
and difficult, was something that gave me an understanding of
28:21
how to navigate running a business when I felt like I was
28:25
just struggling. Like, how do I still keep what I
28:31
have as the promises to myself and continue those going when I
28:35
feel like I've got nothing in the tank?
28:37
And this allowed me to see the power I have within me that I
28:40
can process emotions, that I can show up in the business, that I
28:43
can decide what I share, that I can rewrite this idea of what it
28:47
means to be personal with your audience.
28:49
Like all of that became something that became super,
28:52
super clear. And so I also want to say that
28:56
in the aspect of sharing or not sharing on social media also
28:59
then came up the topic, OK, well, if social media doesn't
29:03
know, I've decided that. But then the question becomes if
29:06
no one knows, that became a lot of pressure for me because I am
29:11
very close with my clients. Many of them have worked with me
29:13
for a very long time, minimum six months, some of them up to
29:16
four years. And in that I became very
29:22
uncomfortable initially around my team and I became very
29:26
uncomfortable around my clients because I felt like there was
29:30
this big elephant in the room that if I didn't share with
29:32
them, I was being authentic and I couldn't actually do my job
29:37
because there was this, this wall, this like gap between us
29:40
that I knew was there, but they didn't know was there.
29:43
And the thing I will say is any good team member or any Greeno
29:47
connected client is going to be able to feel that your energy is
29:50
off either that you're distracted, that you're not
29:53
showing up the way that you have always done it.
29:54
They're going to they're going to notice you're slower to
29:56
respond in messages that you're, you know, something is going on
29:59
with you. And what I knew is that I had to
30:05
tell my team number one. And again, I didn't go into the
30:09
details of every single thing with my team, but I just said,
30:12
like, you know, here's basically what's happened and I really
30:16
need your support over the next little bit to basically have an
30:19
all hands on deck. I'm not functioning it the way
30:22
that I've always functioned. Again, capacity is less than
30:25
it's been. I am going to have moments where
30:28
I'm emotional or things are raw and we're just going to keep
30:30
plugging along. But like this is where we're at.
30:33
And I would really love your support with this.
30:36
And honestly, that even telling them felt like such a weight off
30:41
to me because I felt like the transparency meant that I could
30:45
really be honest about how I was feeling and what I was
30:48
navigating and not feeling like I had to put on like this mask
30:51
or like this brave face for my team.
30:54
Because truthfully, you know, it has created deeper connections
30:58
with my team members. It's created, you know, more
31:00
open conversations about their relationships and how they feel
31:03
about things and, you know, experiences that they've gone
31:05
through. And like, it's bonded us in a
31:07
beautiful way. And so I'm really grateful that
31:10
I did open up. And then came the next stage,
31:12
which was my clients. And I will be honest, I was
31:17
like, I'm not telling my clients because originally I thought
31:19
it's not professional. I don't need to tell them.
31:22
I don't want them to think I can't do my job like all these
31:24
things. And I thought, well, what kind
31:28
of freaking leader are you? What kind of leader are you to
31:32
to go in and say, oh, well, like I'm just going to have this
31:36
massive life altering event that completely reroutes the entire
31:39
path of my life, but I'm not going to acknowledge it because
31:42
business as usual. Like what kind of mentor, coach,
31:46
leader am I to embody that as my values or what I do when things
31:53
are difficult? That's not the example I want to
31:55
set for people. So I was very uncomfortable, but
31:59
I created and crafted a short message to my clients at that
32:02
time and I said, listen, I want to let you guys know that I am
32:07
no longer engaged and I'm navigating a basically
32:11
separation from my long term partner.
32:14
And that I, you know, may be a little bit slower to respond in
32:19
the next call it two weeks in the immediate as I navigate
32:22
making some decisions and life changes.
32:25
I still will be doing our calls. I still will be, you know,
32:28
showing up in the container as we always have.
32:30
I don't particularly want to talk about the details, but I
32:33
just wanted to acknowledge it because you may feel like my
32:37
energy isn't what it typically is.
32:39
Or if you feel that I get emotional at a moment, I want
32:41
you to know that I am fine and I'm going to be fine and that I
32:46
just love you guys to pieces. And because of that, I want you
32:49
to just know that this is something that if I need to step
32:52
away for a second or if I need to just take a breather for a
32:54
second. That's why when I tell you that
32:58
when I sent that message, I wanted to poop my pants because
33:02
I'm like, people are going to fire me.
33:04
People are going to think, oh great, she can't do her job and
33:06
all these things. I could not have been more
33:08
wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong.
33:11
I messaged my clients and I instantly got private messages
33:16
from people who said, hey, I actually did the same thing.
33:19
Or hey, you know, I went through a divorce with a business.
33:23
And here's some things that helped me.
33:24
Here's a book that I read that I loved.
33:26
We love you. We support you.
33:29
And it brought me to tears because as I said, I had a lot,
33:34
I had a lot of shame about, you know, how things had unfolded.
33:38
And I have a lot of guilt that I'm still working through.
33:42
But seeing myself surrounded by all these incredible, powerful
33:46
women who acknowledged me and understood where I was coming
33:51
from and, and supported me and allowed me space and said, hey,
33:55
you want to cancel the call? Cancel the call.
33:56
You want to answer my messages for three weeks?
33:58
Don't answer them. Like, obviously I didn't do
34:00
that. But just knowing that there was
34:01
such a deep level of understanding and grace that was
34:05
being extended to me really helped me to be able to show up
34:08
authentically because I honestly am, I'm so grateful and I would
34:11
never, I would never take it back.
34:13
I would do it again tomorrow if the same thing happened because
34:16
telling those clients changed the way that I was allowed or
34:20
able to show up in my business. And so I really think that
34:24
there's an ability to be transparent without oversharing.
34:30
Like I am someone who believes in transparency, but I sometimes
34:35
have always struggle with it to say, like, how do I tell them
34:38
without giving the details? And I think that there is a way
34:44
to tell them. It's just to say what happened.
34:45
It's to say that this is what I'm navigating.
34:47
And I don't want to go into why and how and when and all of
34:51
those things. But I just need you to know that
34:54
this is how it may impact you. And that's what I want to give
34:57
to you as advice is if you're trying to let your team know,
35:00
let them know, hey, I'm not going to potentially be as
35:03
responsive, so I might take a little longer to get back in
35:06
Slack or hey, I'm not gonna be able to navigate my e-mail.
35:08
Does anyone mind helping me to be able to manage those
35:10
messages? Or if you have a deadline for
35:13
something, I might be a little bit behind when it comes to, you
35:16
know, marketing or recording or whatever it might be.
35:20
And it's, it's OK to share that you're going through something
35:25
like this because I think the aspect of like being
35:28
professional was something that I really had to unpack because I
35:31
thought, is professional really the difference of not
35:34
experiencing anything personal? No, Someone is a professional
35:38
when they acknowledge the personal, they, they go through
35:42
the personal things, they experience all of the UPS and
35:45
the downs and the resistances and even in spite of that,
35:49
continue to acknowledge it while also taking action in their
35:55
business. To me, someone that is admirable
35:58
in business and somebody that I would look up to is someone
36:03
who's not pretending that they don't have pain, but having pain
36:07
managing it and continuing to persist within whatever that is
36:11
that their pursuit is. And that's what I had to decide
36:15
for myself is that I'm going through something and I'm not
36:20
professional because I'm not going through this.
36:23
I'm a freaking professional because I am going through this.
36:26
I'm acknowledging it and I'm showing the fuck up anyways.
36:30
Like cuz that's to me what a leader is.
36:33
Leaders don't not fall. They fall, acknowledge they
36:37
fell, they get up and they continue to move.
36:41
And I, I had to really rewrite this idea of like professional
36:46
is perfection without ever having pain or resistance or
36:50
difficulty or problems or any of those things.
36:52
And it honestly gave me such a deeper respect for other people
36:56
in the professional setting of like who I deem to be
36:59
professional. And some people may think, you
37:01
may think, or someone in your world may say to you, well, you
37:04
know, it's not professional to share those things.
37:06
Well, I would actually argue differently.
37:08
I was in that camp. I used to be that person who's
37:11
like you don't share personal things.
37:12
You don't tell people this. But I'll be honest with you,
37:15
when you do, you will be shocked the connections that you create
37:19
because guess what? The people you feel closest to
37:21
are not the people that you have surface level conversations
37:24
with. They're not the people that talk
37:26
about the weather and talk about the day-to-day.
37:28
They're when you really get into the mud of life, like you guys
37:32
talk about the, the deep, real issues in life and that's what
37:38
makes you feel connected. You really see each other when
37:40
you talk about honest, authentic, deep, real
37:43
conversations. And that's what happened.
37:46
I have never been closer with my clients than I am today.
37:49
I honestly would say I've never been closer with my team than I
37:53
am today. Like this brought a level of
37:57
removing that block between US and literally physically
38:00
bringing us closer. And so with your team, I just
38:03
want to kind of put a bow on that because you also need to
38:09
also be able to communicate that you need support.
38:13
Like I would try to plug along. And I really during that time,
38:18
which has actually served me in delegation since then, I had to
38:22
learn to really ask for help and say, hey, do you feel like you
38:24
have capacity to potentially take on ABC?
38:27
Hey, do you think that you might be able to manage this for me?
38:30
Is there any chance that you could help or assist me with
38:32
executing blank? Like really saying not just
38:36
because you could do it, because I used to do all of those things
38:40
and I had projects on my plate and I had tasks that I did.
38:44
But in that time, as I said, my capacity was so low that I
38:48
really did need support. And so the question becomes, can
38:51
you ask people? And have you asked people in
38:54
your world to say, hey, can you help me?
38:56
And also by the way, this doesn't have to be necessarily
39:00
even in the professional bucket. I had to ask for a lot of my
39:04
helps that I could focus on professional in my personal
39:07
bucket. I had to get people to help me
39:10
with getting my dogs out for a walk.
39:13
I had to get help people to help me with packing.
39:15
I had to get people to help me with the personal stuff because
39:19
if I had to do that in addition to working, there was just no
39:22
way I was going to be able to do it.
39:23
Like I had 0 battery to do it. And frankly, there were so many
39:28
people in my corner who helped me with that, that it was the
39:31
reason I was able to continue on.
39:34
So that's another thing I want to share is the aspect of doing
39:38
it alone. I think so many of us,
39:40
especially, you know, as ambitious women, US ambitious
39:44
women are really this whole like, you know, I can do it.
39:47
I can do it. And listen, it's not that you
39:49
can't do it alone, OK? But you also don't get a medal
39:52
for doing it alone. And one thing I want to say is
39:57
you doing it alone is a choice because you don't need to.
40:03
And I want to share something that came up for me with this
40:07
situation. I felt like such a burden to
40:11
people. I would see people who are
40:14
having the highest moments of their life.
40:16
You know, my brother is getting married this year and my one of
40:19
my best friends is getting married this year.
40:22
And I was having all these people who are having like just
40:24
the most joyous moments of their life.
40:26
And I felt like a dark cloud. And truthfully, my mode of
40:32
operating was to completely isolate.
40:34
It was like, don't answer your text messages, you know, stay
40:38
basically alone by myself in my room.
40:40
I tried to also distract myself by traveling.
40:43
I would do anything to basically just flee from people and push
40:48
people as far away from me as possible in the belief or when I
40:51
did that, it was with the belief that I didn't want to burden
40:54
people. I didn't want to have people
40:55
have to support me and, you know, basically be in it with me
41:00
because I knew how dark it felt to process that morning and
41:04
grief. And I didn't want to bring other
41:07
people into my world. But the thing that was really
41:09
interesting, I had some conversations with friends and
41:13
it was once I had decided to open up and they said, hey, next
41:16
time, instead of saying that you feel like a burden or like you
41:19
don't want to like bother people or any of that, how about you
41:21
ask us next time? How about you ask me if I have
41:26
capacity to support you right now because it would be
41:28
something that would be helpful. How about instead of you making
41:31
decisions for me, you actually ask me if I have the ability or
41:35
if I'm OK to be able to support you in XYZ?
41:38
Can I do a phone call? Can I do a FaceTime?
41:40
Can we, you know, go and connect for dinner?
41:43
Can we do these things? If you feel like you're really a
41:46
burden, ask people around you and say, hey, this is what I'm
41:50
navigating. Do you think you could support
41:53
me by connecting tonight for dinner?
41:55
Because for me, I really had this belief that I thought if I
41:59
was talking about it to people, they were going to be like, oh,
42:02
Kate, like, this is so heavy. That's what I felt.
42:06
And since talking through with people now they're like, hey,
42:10
this is friendship. This is what this is.
42:13
It's in these moments that you find out who the people are that
42:17
are there support you thick and thin, high and low, like those
42:20
are the people who want to be in it with you, because that's what
42:24
friendship is. And so I really realized that I
42:27
needed, I needed a support system and I needed my, my, you
42:31
know, top five or my top six people to be able to contact to
42:35
help me in it. And I also really needed neutral
42:40
people. That's something I want to say
42:41
to you. Your friends and family are
42:44
people who they want to support you and they want to help you.
42:49
But let's be honest, they've all got a narrative, right?
42:53
Like his side of of this, the table is going to say, you know,
42:58
we're on your side and your partner's to blame.
43:01
Everyone on my side is going to say, hey, we're on your side and
43:05
your partner's to blame, right. Everyone's always going to have
43:08
an emotional invested interest in whatever side or party
43:12
they're connected to. That's normal.
43:14
That's how a lot of friendships and dynamics work.
43:16
You support each other, but the thing that I think is also very
43:20
important is to have a neutral support and ideally a therapist,
43:25
a consultant, somebody that you're working with that doesn't
43:29
know your situation, doesn't know your family, doesn't know
43:32
your friends. And I think this is important.
43:34
Not just like you want to have your circle of people, but you
43:37
also need that neutral person because that neutral person is
43:40
going to be honest with you. And I found that I didn't want
43:45
to get a lot of advice from friends because I was like, you
43:49
are just saying this to like make me feel better or you're
43:51
just saying this because, you know, you're trying to just be
43:54
on my side. But I actually don't want that.
43:58
I want someone to say, hey, here's what I would tell you
44:01
because I don't know either party very well.
44:03
This is just the general advice of what I would tell you based
44:06
on the situation. And so therapy was huge for me
44:09
because I needed to have people who were in my corner who are
44:14
actually neutral and willing to give me the tough love and
44:17
willing to just say things for what they are.
44:19
And not always in my mind kind of wondering, is that the right
44:23
advice? Or they just saying that to make
44:24
me feel better or just to support me and be behind me.
44:28
And so you really need friends and you need that circle around
44:33
you that you can trust, that you can lean on.
44:35
That will also be an aspect of accountability because I also
44:41
needed people checking in on me. And I have just the most amazing
44:44
friends in the entire world because I had people checking in
44:47
saying, hey, where you at? Like what are you doing this
44:50
weekend? What are you up to?
44:51
Like constantly checking in to make sure that I was OK because
44:55
if I didn't, I would literally, I talk about it now.
44:57
It was like a black hole. Like I just tuned the entire
45:00
world out, opened my laptop, put my headphones on.
45:03
And it was only when they would kind of check in that I would
45:06
kind of pop my head out and actually have to acknowledge
45:09
where I was and what I was going through.
45:12
Now, the other thing I want to say is self-care.
45:17
Now, I know when I say those two words, you're like, yeah, yeah,
45:21
self-care, Like, understood. You know, take a bath and
45:25
listen, your body is physically grieving right now.
45:32
And if someone had died, you would be taking care of yourself
45:39
and allowing your space to be able to process, and you would
45:42
be trying to pour into yourself to support you as much as
45:47
possible. That's no different whether it's
45:49
a breakup or a divorce, or if someone has died who you know
45:53
was here and is now no longer here.
45:55
As I said to me, divorce and breakups are just really the
45:59
death of the dream of what you thought your life was going to
46:02
be. And unfortunately, you're
46:04
grieving and mourning a person who still is alive.
46:09
And so self-care is so important.
46:12
I will say initially I was not sleeping like I was not
46:16
sleeping, which made it 10 times more difficult to show up in
46:19
business. It made it me way more emotional
46:21
and raw because I wasn't able to sleep.
46:23
So I really, really focused on sleep.
46:25
I really started to focus on food and making sure that if my
46:30
mental health was already taking a beating, I'm not going to make
46:33
it worse by filling up my body with garbage in the sense of
46:36
food that's going to make my gut worse, which ultimately gut
46:40
brain connection makes your brain worse.
46:42
Like food affects your mental health.
46:44
I also try to be really aware of my space and trying to see, OK,
46:50
well what could I do in my environment to try to make those
46:53
things that could help me self-care.
46:55
Doesn't have to be a bath. It could be, I took boatloads of
46:58
baths during this time, but it could be a bath, it could be a
47:02
walk, it could be meditating. I loved going to do saunas and
47:05
ice bath. That was one of the things that
47:07
I found really helpful and I would just go by myself and
47:10
literally just go to a sauna, nice bath and just hang out
47:14
there for 90 minutes and do the circuit back and forth.
47:18
And that was something that really, really helped me.
47:20
So the self-care U time also doesn't need to be like a day or
47:25
an afternoon. Like it's just practices that
47:27
you build into your day, but they make a difference.
47:30
Because here's the thing I want to say, prioritizing self-care
47:36
also is important because social media is not where you need to
47:41
be when you're navigating a divorce or breakup.
47:43
You should not be. If you do not fill your time
47:46
with things that help you, you will fill your time with things
47:48
that do not serve you. You will fill your time with
47:50
scrolling on their social media, seeing if they posted, checking
47:54
out their story. You will be, you know, for those
47:57
going through a breakup, you will be scrolling old text
48:00
messages of things that you guys said to each other back and
48:03
forth trying to unpack where did, where did this happen or
48:06
what did that mean? You will be going through your
48:09
old photos on your phone and going through old pictures
48:12
together and old videos together.
48:14
And you'll be scrolling on Facebook and looking at your
48:17
pictures and videos together and you will be in the memory of
48:21
them. And it's not to say that we're
48:25
looking to remove the memory of them, but we're looking to
48:28
really just also make sure that we're filling our space with
48:31
things that help us. And for me, the reason I'm able
48:35
to list all those things off is because all of those are things
48:37
I did. Those are all things that I did.
48:43
I was thinking about it all day every day.
48:46
Like all day every day. I was thinking about it.
48:48
And if I didn't fill my time with something that was filling
48:54
it with serving me and supporting me and helping me to
48:57
process, I was going to end up on my phone either distracting
49:01
with business or diving into all of our archives together.
49:07
And so I really recommend giving yourself almost like a menu.
49:10
That's what I did with one of my clients who navigated a divorce
49:12
this year. I said, I want you to make a
49:14
menu of self-care. And what I want you to do is I
49:17
want you to have your morning, midday and evening routine.
49:20
And I want you to pick two things from this menu.
49:22
And there are things that you enjoy.
49:24
Maybe it's watching Yellowstone, maybe it's ice bath, maybe it's
49:29
going for a walk, maybe it's a bath, whatever it is, but it's
49:32
your menu. It's not going to be the same as
49:34
mine. It's not going to be the same as
49:36
the next person's. It's yours.
49:38
And so I want you to think about things that you can do for 10 to
49:40
15 minutes that you can put on this list that you can go
49:44
through and pick as things to fill your bucket to keep you
49:49
from going into things that do not serve you such as doom
49:52
scrolling on your phone and communication and all of those
49:55
things. I also think that there's an
49:59
aspect because of again, going through the pictures, going
50:03
through all of this, that is also the hardest part is you
50:10
have to let go. At some point you got to let go,
50:20
and the only way to let go is to let go of the vision of what you
50:27
thought your life was going to be with this person.
50:32
And I was for months stuck in, but I was supposed to be
50:41
married, but I was supposed to have kids.
50:43
That was the plan this year. But I was supposed to.
50:46
But I was supposed to this, but I was supposed to that.
50:49
And I realized that I was so deep in what was supposed to
50:53
happen and all of our past that when I thought about moving
50:59
forward, there was no vision there.
51:01
Like I was like, there's no purpose.
51:03
I felt no purpose because all of what I'd known to be my purpose
51:07
was gone. And the thing I want to say is
51:11
you have to re evaluate what you want.
51:13
It's going to take time. It's not going to happen the
51:15
week after this is going to be months down the road probably.
51:19
But after having months of going through our pictures together
51:24
and months of, you know, say, text messages and trying to put
51:28
together all the pieces and understand it all, what I
51:32
realized was was like, that was me living in a chapter because I
51:37
refuse to continue writing the next one.
51:41
And it was an avoidance, frankly.
51:45
And I realized it was a choice. And the reason I say it's going
51:48
to take time is because it's a choice.
51:53
You're not always ready to, you're not always ready to move
51:57
on. You know, like there was a time
52:00
where, you know, truthfully, I struggled to think about the
52:08
vision because I had never even considered a vision without him
52:12
in it. And I didn't, I didn't want to
52:18
think about my new life and business and all those things
52:21
because that by acknowledging a different future meant I was
52:24
acknowledging that we were done. And that's why I say it's going
52:29
to take some time because again, I think that the motto of the
52:34
death of the dream was something that helped because I realized
52:37
that I had to grieve. It's kind of like almost
52:40
thinking about, you know, people who have their partner die and
52:45
they have to grieve before they can date again.
52:48
Like, it's the same thing. You have to allow yourself space
52:52
to let the pieces fall where they may before you may be able
52:55
to move on mentally, emotionally, all of it.
52:59
And you know, what I want to, what I want to say is you can
53:04
look at it as sad because it is sad.
53:07
You know, for some, depending on the situation, it is sad to feel
53:11
like, you know, you've got to put this new vision together.
53:13
But what I had to do was realize that I could be, I could feel
53:22
shame. I could feel guilt.
53:24
I could feel all those things. Or I could decide that I had a
53:30
fresh slate, you know, and people in my circle who said,
53:33
you know, try to look at this as a fresh slate in your world.
53:35
And I was like, shut up. Like, I was like, I don't feel
53:38
that, OK, I don't want to freaking fresh slate.
53:41
Like it, it wasn't something I was excited about.
53:44
I wasn't ready to hear it. But when I did get ready to hear
53:47
it, and I did get to a place where I could handle that, I, I
53:55
started to realize like as, as women, choosing ourselves isn't
54:04
necessarily easy. And it's, it's not something
54:07
that's always going to be a pat on the back or that other people
54:10
will acknowledge. But what I can say is that you
54:16
deserve the vision that you want for your life.
54:21
You deserve to, to have everything that you've ever
54:25
wanted. And you get to build a new, a
54:32
new book, right? Like, that book is closed.
54:37
And I had someone in my circle say to me, you know, Kate,
54:40
you're trying to continue to write chapters in an old book
54:44
and start of, you know, starting a new one.
54:47
And if you just keep writing in that, you're staying in that
54:50
story. That story is done.
54:53
That story is finished. That ending is already already
54:57
complete. This is a moment for you to
55:00
write a new book. And that can be painful and that
55:04
can be overwhelming. And it can feel not exciting,
55:08
frankly, depending on where you are in your process.
55:12
But like, you get to do that because you are choosing
55:19
yourself. You're choosing as a woman what
55:22
you want for your life and you're choosing big things
55:27
because you're just as ambitious as me.
55:32
And you know what? What I want to say to kind of
55:34
end off today is I'm so sorry to actually know what.
55:41
No, I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.
55:42
Today was emotional, but I, I, so I was, I'll be honest, I was
55:48
a little bit nervous about recording today's episode
55:51
because I was like, is this even going to be helpful?
55:56
Is this just going to be me crying on a podcast like I
55:59
didn't know? But what I will say is I am
56:03
just, I'm inspired by you. I help women every day to go
56:15
after their dreams and to build huge businesses and to be
56:20
powerhouses and everything that they do with their health and
56:24
with their life, with their faith, with their relationships,
56:27
with whatever. And you know, the thing I want
56:29
to say is that you deserve it all.
56:34
You deserve it all. You deserve everything that
56:36
you've ever wanted and everything that you're working
56:37
hard for right now. And what I needed to hear was,
56:45
if you're so quick to help everyone else, take a second to
56:48
help yourself. You believe in everyone else
56:52
around you believe in yourself. You help everyone else around
56:55
you. Help yourself.
56:58
You give grace to everybody around you.
57:01
Give grace to yourself because women like you Listening to this
57:07
are what inspire me to constantly progress forward and
57:15
keep moving and taking it the next step.
57:18
You inspire me to lead from the front and to realize that if I'm
57:22
going to help other people, I have to help myself first.
57:28
And that's what decisions and kind of what we talked about
57:30
today is. And one of the mottos that
57:33
really kind of tuned me into that was a question that I often
57:37
ask myself. I'm not a mom yet.
57:40
And I always ask myself, I say, you know, if I if I had a
57:45
daughter, what would I tell her? And that's helped me to make a
57:48
lot of decisions. And I heard a quote actually
57:51
this week that I want to share with you to end today, which is
57:55
that it's actually, interestingly enough, from Jeff
57:57
Bezos. And he had been talking about
58:00
how he makes decisions in his life.
58:02
And he said, you know, there's the logical decisions, there's
58:04
all these decisions around, you know, the pros and cons of it
58:08
and how much time you've put in all these things.
58:10
But the end of the day, he's like, I fast forwarded myself to
58:12
80. And I say, would I regret not
58:15
doing this? But I regret not taking this
58:22
next step. And so I want to invite you to
58:24
the same question, you know, would you regret, would you
58:28
regret staying in the relationship?
58:30
Would you regret leaving the relationship?
58:32
Would you regret staying in the memories of all of it instead of
58:39
moving forward? Right?
58:41
Would you, would you actually look back and regret it?
58:44
Or would you look back and say, hey, like, I'm really proud of
58:48
myself. And if you're going through a
58:51
breakup or a divorce right now or maybe you did this year, I
58:54
also just want to say like, I see you and I love you and I'm
59:03
really proud of you because it's not easy.
59:06
And obviously you can tell by my tears today, it's not ever
59:09
really done. But I'm just so proud of you for
59:14
persisting because on social media and frankly, in a lot of
59:20
connections and interactions, being real and transparent about
59:26
what you're navigating is not always the topic of
59:28
conversation. And if today, my hope was that
59:34
it would bring some validation to you of what you're
59:36
experiencing, of what you're going through, of what is
59:39
possible for you. And as I said, I was pretty
59:42
nervous about recording today, if I'm going to be really honest
59:45
with you, because I don't usually do stuff this personal,
59:48
but it would mean the world to me if you're listening to this
59:51
to just shoot a message and maybe just let me know.
59:55
Did anything land for you? Was there anything that kind of
59:58
was a take away or maybe even if you just want to share your
1:00:01
experience? I'm always here as an ear to
1:00:02
listen. I would love to connect.
1:00:05
And more than anything, just I appreciate you a lot.
1:00:09
A lot. I don't really know how to
1:00:10
finish today's episode. Other than to say that I
1:00:14
appreciate you and I love you, and this is probably one of the
1:00:17
more personal episodes that I've ever done.
1:00:19
So I don't know how or where we'll go from here.
1:00:23
The door has been open, my girl, so I don't know where we'll go
1:00:26
from here. But thank you for giving me a
1:00:29
space and a safe space because of all of all of you that I
1:00:32
connect with on social media and we chat in the DMS and stuff
1:00:35
when you guys reach out. You have made this such a safe
1:00:39
space for me to want to share this and you've inspired me to
1:00:41
share it. And I feel comfortable too
1:00:43
because of you and who you are and being part of this ambitious
1:00:48
community. So thank you for that.
1:00:50
All of that to say my friend, thank you so much for listening
1:00:53
today. I hope today was helpful for
1:00:54
you. I will see you next week.
1:00:57
And, as always, stay ambitious.