Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 9- Facilitating Emotional Expression Through Play

Transcript

Episode 9- Facilitating Emotional Expression Through Play · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi and welcome to an episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer and I'm so grateful you're here.
0:45
This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
0:49
conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
0:53
and what it means to show up with presence and compassion
0:57
both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hi there and welcome to the Play
1:14
Therapy Circle. I'm your host, Kylie Ellison,
1:17
and I am so glad you are here. Welcome guys to episode 9.
1:24
Wow, we're almost last of the single digits, then into the
1:27
double digits next week. Amazing.
1:30
Thank you so much again for being here and for the support
1:34
and following along. I hope that you are finding
1:38
these episodes helpful and useful in your CCPT practise
1:42
because I'm definitely loving doing them.
1:45
I have gotten feedback on different topics that I can be
1:48
doing in the next few months as well, so I am very excited with
1:52
some of those topics that I think you guys are going to
1:54
really like to. And this topic today of course,
1:57
but general check in. How's everyone doing?
2:00
Hope you're having a good week. It is actually cold here today,
2:04
which is very random because it's September in Brisbane so it
2:07
should start to get hot, but it is not.
2:10
So I fear this is the last of winter before we really start to
2:14
get that hot weather that we get here in Brisbane.
2:16
You can probably hear the wind outside.
2:17
So I'm just prefacing all of that for today's episode.
2:21
I think that certainly in connecting with different
2:24
supervisors this week, it has definitely been recurrent that I
2:29
think the community in general is feeling a little fatigued.
2:33
So if you are feeling a little bit tired this week, if you are
2:38
just just, yeah, having a minute where it's just a little bit
2:42
long, I guess in the week, just wanting to let you know that you
2:46
are not alone. And I definitely am looking
2:49
forward to a bit of a quiet, relaxing weekend after a busy
2:54
week in the clinic. Wherever you are in the world, I
2:56
hope you are having a lovely week.
2:59
Look, the topic that I want to talk about today and what I want
3:02
to get into is this idea of facilitating emotional
3:06
expression through play. I was only actually talking
3:09
about this to someone yesterday and describing the superpower, I
3:14
guess, of CCPT really being about us understanding at a very
3:19
deep level what children are communicating through play.
3:24
And I really want to underscore that because I think that as
3:27
professionals, we go about our day and our weeks.
3:30
Like I was saying, it's September, there's Christmas
3:33
trees out guys at Big W, if you are in Australia, in the
3:37
southern hemisphere, we have already got trees, Christmas
3:39
trees out for sale like it's September.
3:41
So like we're all on the slide to Christmas at this point.
3:46
So if you're feeling a little weary, that is part of the
3:48
reason why. But what I want to acknowledge
3:50
is we go through our weeks and do our work and don't actually
3:53
realise that there are certainly people in our community who
3:57
don't have that same level of understanding of what play is
4:01
all about and that really core skill around understanding
4:04
what's being communicated. Not only understanding the play,
4:06
but understanding the meaning and the message behind it.
4:09
So I think that's something that we can't underestimate and we
4:12
really, as Gary Landress says, we shouldn't be just sharing the
4:15
skills, sorry, we shouldn't just be holding the skills in the
4:18
playroom, but we should be sharing it.
4:19
It's to that extent as well where I have been sharing that
4:22
idea with parents and clients around this concept of observing
4:27
play just to hear and understand.
4:30
So if that message helps you in your week, I certainly extend it
4:35
to you because I think it's an important part of our practise
4:38
that we. I think I know for myself, I
4:41
sometimes take for granted that people understand what is the
4:45
meaning behind play when that's not necessarily always the case.
4:47
So this topic today, I really want to talk to those areas of
4:52
practise related to that emotional expression through
4:55
play and what that looks like when we're trying to facilitate
4:58
that in the playroom. What's our role and what's the
5:01
child's role and what is the role of play and how does that
5:04
all work? So this is the topic for this
5:07
week and next week we're then going to go into tracking and
5:09
reflecting feelings. So that is definitely then that
5:12
next skill that we're talking about.
5:14
But we can't enter the playroom and start our work with kids if
5:18
we don't have that holistic understanding of how much is
5:23
expressed and communicated through play, which I know for
5:26
those of you out there who are passionate about CCPT, you
5:28
already know this. But I think it's a really
5:31
important part of our practise to incorporate into our everyday
5:35
reflections. So what do I want to talk about
5:38
here? I guess I want to start off with
5:40
the idea of how how emotional expression is conveyed for
5:44
children and especially through the lens of child development
5:48
theory, which is really important.
5:49
So we know that children progress and develop through
5:52
different stages across their early years.
5:55
And part of that is recognising that being able to put words to
6:00
their feelings is something that doesn't come naturally for kids
6:03
in those formative years. And I know that if you are a
6:06
parent listening, and certainly traditional parenting approaches
6:10
very much have encouraged parents to say, put a word and
6:14
you're like, name your feelings, tell me what you're feeling, use
6:17
your words, those kind of phrases that are used in the
6:20
vernacular community. And unfortunately, when we look
6:23
at child development theory, that is counterproductive to
6:26
what we understand about the development of children.
6:29
They genuinely don't always know how to put words to their
6:32
feelings. So how can we help them to
6:34
express themselves and to be able to tell their story in the
6:38
way that feels conducive for them?
6:42
It feels connected and it feels natural for them.
6:46
So we know that is certainly in them being able to play out
6:50
their experiences and play out their feelings.
6:53
We often say when we're talking to parents to help them to
6:56
understand this concept is to say playing for children is like
7:00
talking for adults when we enter the therapy space.
7:03
I think that is also why we are seeing certainly an increase in
7:08
members of the community showing more of an interest in play
7:10
therapy because those traditional talk based methods
7:13
for children just haven't landed.
7:15
So when we talk about what play represents for kids, we're
7:19
really talking about the fact that they will use symbols and
7:22
they will use metaphors. So any of you who have studied
7:26
previously, say, in the narrative therapy space, because
7:28
I'm also equally passionate about that approach to
7:31
intervention. I think that there is a lovely
7:34
connection there where we can look at and assess and
7:38
understand and hold in mind that some of the meaning of
7:42
children's play can be channelled through metaphors.
7:44
And I think that's great. I think that we it's so
7:48
important for us to meet children where they're at.
7:51
I have so many thoughts about that.
7:53
I'm not going to go into today because I promise we will expand
7:56
on that as we go through the podcast.
7:58
But if you can have another takeaway from this episode,
8:02
please hold this in mind that our approach in working in CCPT
8:08
is very much around meeting the child where they are at this
8:12
point in their journey, meeting them where they're at this point
8:16
in their journey. So what does that mean for us as
8:18
a CCPT practitioner? It means that we still have the
8:22
same skills that we use of tracking, reflecting, feelings,
8:26
limit setting, making, meaning that all still sits in our
8:29
approach. However, there's also a need for
8:32
us to ensure that we are holding truly our tenants of CCPT, which
8:38
is congruence, empathy, and unconditional positive regard
8:42
that we've talked about in previous episodes.
8:45
Why am I saying this? Because I think sometimes we can
8:47
have children in the playroom that we don't necessarily
8:50
connect with or we have a struggle with hearing their
8:53
story. And that can be for a variety of
8:55
reasons and too many to list today.
8:59
But if you find as a CCPT practitioner that you are
9:02
entering the playroom and you are struggling to be able to
9:05
connect with a child or to understand their emotional
9:08
expression or their meanings behind their play, it's so
9:12
important that we go to clinical supervision.
9:16
We seek out that support because you're not alone.
9:19
This is absolutely part of the journey of being a CCPT
9:22
practitioner is that we are constantly learning ourselves.
9:26
We are constantly students of this approach.
9:29
However, what I like to lean into, and I hope this is helpful
9:33
for those of you listening, is that I know in building a
9:37
connection with a child, I need to be authentic.
9:42
If I'm leaning into my tenant of congruence, for me as a
9:46
practitioner, that equates to being authentic and that may
9:50
resonate for you. So I'm sharing that with you.
9:52
So what does authentic mean to me?
9:54
It doesn't mean that I suddenly shift into asking questions,
9:59
giving them activities to do, moving into that directive
10:02
space. Instead, what it means is that I
10:06
want to give those of you listening who are practising as
10:09
CCPT practitioners or beginning in this space or experienced in
10:12
this space, to give yourself that grace to be able to be
10:20
present in the room that's authentic for you too.
10:23
We hold very dear absolutely 100% the tenants and approach of
10:29
CPT. But I think that there's a good
10:31
argument and especially for our earlier episodes when we talked
10:35
about the relationship. So I'm leaning into change
10:37
theory here, I'm leaning into attachment theory here, I'm
10:40
leaning into child development theory here when I say that if
10:45
we are not authentic, we are going to struggle to connect
10:49
with the child. So that authenticity looks
10:53
different for each practitioner. So what's important for you is
10:58
to decide and establish for yourself what does authenticity
11:02
mean for me? So if I ask myself that question
11:05
when I'm in the playroom, I often will be very congruent in
11:11
my approach. So what does that mean?
11:13
I will do things like, and I'm holding in mind a client that I
11:17
have recently been working with who is absolutely incredible and
11:22
certainly not in terms of their presentation, not necessarily a
11:26
child that we would see traditionally under the CCPT
11:29
hat. Not for the sense that they
11:32
don't qualify or are not appropriate for CCPT, but
11:36
certainly requires all skills, all skills to be able to engage,
11:40
which is great because we love those students, right?
11:42
And I'm sorry, we love those teachers.
11:45
I am the student. I should correct myself there.
11:47
I'm the student as the therapist, the child is the
11:48
teacher. I'm teaching me about the world.
11:50
So I'm very mindful of that when I connect in the playroom.
11:54
But what I am learning with this client is that me being
11:59
transparent is part of me being authentic.
12:02
So again, what do I mean by that?
12:04
So I might say something like oh man this room is so messy today.
12:08
That was on my list today mate. But I'm I just haven't got to
12:12
tidying. So it's a bit of a mess in here
12:15
saying something like that because let's be real, I'm ADHD
12:21
like diagnosed. I am a good procrastinator on a
12:25
great day. So do I need to tidy my room?
12:28
Yes. Have I had time because I've had
12:30
7 or 8 appointments back to back?
12:31
Also, yes, so this is the problem and I need to be
12:36
congruent and authentic in that space when connecting with that
12:39
child. So I say that because I want to
12:42
acknowledge what they might be observing or seeing or feeling.
12:46
I might say something like, it's just so important right now for
12:51
you to check everything out here just so that you know what's
12:54
happening in this room today. That makes sense.
12:56
Yep. And that's that.
12:57
Obviously reflecting back of that content and making meaning
13:00
of the play. But I'm going a step further
13:03
than just saying you're looking around the room.
13:06
I'm actually helping them to deepen their understanding of
13:10
what they're doing, helping them to understand that I'm following
13:13
along and validating what's happening for them.
13:15
But I also want to bring an essence of myself into the
13:18
playroom, not because it's about me.
13:20
I'm very clear here that this session is about the child.
13:24
But if I just sat there and said you're looking around the room,
13:27
you're picking that one up, you're putting that one down.
13:30
I don't know. For me personally, and this is a
13:33
non judgmental space, everyone. So we're all welcome.
13:35
We're all welcome. I, for me personally would not
13:39
feel congruent or authentic in just using that.
13:43
So I stay in my tenants as CCPT, but I make sure that I'm
13:48
supporting the child to feel connected with me.
13:51
And we want that experience to be able to be replicated outside
13:55
of Playtherapy because that's the goal, right?
13:57
So we want to make sure that in that interaction, they feel that
14:01
sense of empathy. And I can't really do that if
14:05
I'm going, you're picking that one up, you're putting that one
14:08
down, and you're not singing it like that.
14:09
I'm just giving that as a rough example, but you know what I'm
14:13
saying? I think that there is certainly
14:15
a good argument for us to bring ourselves to the room.
14:18
And like I said, we've talked about that in previous episodes
14:20
as well, and feel free to follow that too.
14:22
But I think that then opens the space for the child to be able
14:26
to emotionally express themselves, which is the topic
14:28
of today's conversation, which now I'm back on my point.
14:31
So thanks for following along. I get there, I promise I get
14:34
there. So if we don't offer that space,
14:39
and I put this out as a wondering, and I don't have the
14:42
answer for this right now. And again, I'm not, I'm going an
14:46
attention instead of following my plan here for the episode.
14:48
But anyway, that's what I do. I put out that wondering that if
14:53
we're not able to hold that space where kids feel fully
14:55
supported, at what level can they express themselves?
15:00
And that's a, that's an interesting open ended question
15:04
that I'm not going to give an answer for today.
15:06
But I plant that seed for you as the listener because I think
15:10
that in fact, as I talk more about this and think about it
15:13
out loud, is actually part of our responsibility as a
15:16
therapist to provide that emotionally supportive space for
15:21
kids to be themselves, to be able to be vulnerable, to be
15:25
seen and heard, and to be able to share the tough stuff.
15:29
So my argument would be based on everything I said, is I don't
15:33
think kids can do that if we aren't authentically ourselves.
15:37
So if you feel like in the playroom, you're having these
15:40
reflections of kids where you're feeling really stuck or you're
15:43
feeling like, gosh, I just don't know if things are landing.
15:46
I'm not sure that we're connecting.
15:48
It feels very clunky in the playroom.
15:50
I don't feel like the child is really unpacking that deeper
15:54
work that I was expecting. All of the above.
15:57
First and foremost, please seek out clinical supervision.
16:00
That is absolutely the number one tip that I give you.
16:03
But secondly, then in listening to this, it might be about
16:08
thinking for yourself. How do you authentically show up
16:12
in the playroom? And that answer is going to be
16:16
different for everyone. And what I again, what I want to
16:20
say to you guys is I want to give you that permission to have
16:22
a go at that and see what happens when we stop, put
16:27
everything at the door and connect with our true self to
16:31
the child's true self to help them to communicate what they
16:35
need to. I leave that with you to have a
16:37
think about. It might be that you are a bit
16:41
more emotionally expressive. I know for me, when I'm
16:44
authentically in the playroom, I like to get very involved in the
16:51
emotion and the intensity of the play.
16:53
I'm not involving myself in the play, just to clarify.
16:57
It's very important that I stay objective.
16:59
But in that objectivity I'm really conveying through my
17:03
emotional expression. That's my tone of voice, my
17:05
facial expressions, my non verbal cues, my bodily movement,
17:09
my physical presence. I'm doing a lot.
17:11
I'm working really hard to show the child that I'm following
17:16
along in their expression of their play.
17:18
So if you feel like you need to be clinical, I guess in your
17:23
approach, I'm giving you that permission to consider what are
17:28
the ways that I can, yeah, be myself in the playroom and what
17:33
does that look like? OK.
17:35
When we're talking about the benefits of children being able
17:39
to use play to express themselves, obviously there's so
17:43
many benefits and we talk about that in our initial intake with
17:46
parents. It's so important when we're
17:48
obtaining consent for therapy that we're talking about the
17:51
risks and the benefits. That is absolutely just part of
17:56
our approach. So you all would be doing this
17:58
already, but when we're talking about the benefits in general,
18:01
we can highlight the fact that it obviously provides an
18:05
emotional release. It helps cathartically for
18:08
children to play out how they're feeling.
18:11
And that's one of the key benefits that we highlight to
18:13
parents. It certainly also helps them to
18:17
process difficult, traumatic, overwhelming events on.
18:22
I was only talking to one of my student cohorts recently about
18:28
that reflection of certainly our community at present and very
18:32
much what our four to six year old age group of children in our
18:36
community are currently facing in terms of that emotional
18:38
expression and in particular high separation anxiety and high
18:42
anxiety. And I promise I will do a
18:45
podcast episode on that because that is very relevant and very
18:48
important right now for you guys as practitioners.
18:51
So by the by, we were talking about the fact that even what
18:56
happened around 2020 and 2021, we wouldn't typically put in the
19:02
category of a traumatic event. But one of my incredible
19:06
students was reflecting about a definition she had come across
19:09
in training. She had done herself around the
19:11
definition of trauma. And obviously there's a few out
19:14
there, but she was reflecting, and I'm going to paraphrase this
19:16
because I feel like I'm not going to get this right, but the
19:20
pretence or the purpose of this definition was that children
19:24
often experience trauma as an event or events where that
19:29
safety or that concept or that feeling or that understanding of
19:33
safety has been challenged or in fact, has been destroyed in many
19:38
cases where they don't feel safe.
19:40
And I think that's really an interesting application.
19:43
We were talking about this in the training, if we then look
19:45
through that lens of 2020 and 2021 around COVID-19.
19:49
So I think that really talks to children's experiences and
19:54
especially from a child development perspective,
19:56
egocentrically what those experiences of trauma are like.
20:00
And they need an Ave and an outlet that is appropriate and
20:05
beneficial for them, which is play.
20:08
It obviously also helps in building that emotional
20:10
literacy. So just like I started the
20:12
conversation talking about those approaches or recommendations in
20:17
our community around telling kids to put words to their
20:20
feelings. They can't do that cognitively,
20:23
but we can help them through play by labing, labelling those
20:27
feelings as the parent, as the caregiver, as therapist to help
20:31
build that emotional literacy and connection for them as they
20:34
grow and develop. So it actually in the reverse
20:37
has this incredible being able to increase that emotional
20:39
literacy. We also obviously in doing that
20:42
and connecting with kids, and this is where filial therapy
20:44
becomes so relevant and so important is it also helps to
20:48
build connection and trust with adults, with parents, with
20:50
caregivers in the child's life. So it's why now more than ever,
20:55
play is so important guys, so important.
20:59
We obviously know when we're building on that concept and
21:02
that idea. I think that when we're talking
21:04
about the different types of play and we know that children
21:08
will use all different resources in their environment, in their
21:12
space, whatever they have handy and available to be able to play
21:15
out what they can't verbalise. So we know the kids are doing
21:18
this 24/7. So I often say to parents what
21:21
I'm seeing in the playroom, there's probably a version that
21:23
you're seeing at home. So again, Ioffer that
21:25
opportunity for them to just observe and watch.
21:29
Don't intervene, don't try and ask questions, don't direct the
21:33
play, don't try and check your understanding of the play.
21:35
Just observe. Just observe because it helps
21:39
them to just process in real time.
21:41
What we see with play is a couple of different types I'm
21:45
just going to touch on too, being symbolic versus literal.
21:49
So we do see different types of play and once we become trained
21:53
and experienced in this space, it becomes easier for us to
21:56
understand. But we look at that symbolic
21:58
play versus literal play. So we might have examples where,
22:02
and there's so many of them, where we might have literal play
22:05
where a child may use the dolls house to play out an experience
22:08
in real time of domestic violence, for example.
22:12
So we can have an understanding by watching that play of exactly
22:16
how that translates to their life outside of play therapy.
22:18
So that's obviously one type of play we also have.
22:22
And I think what children gravitate more readily to is
22:24
symbolic play. So that comes from a range of
22:28
resources and a range of ways of them being able to communicate
22:31
that. And so they may use different
22:35
resources to tell you their story.
22:38
So I've had, and certainly just as a broad example, no specific
22:42
clients here, guys that I'm mentioning.
22:43
Just over the years, what I've seen, if a child is feeling
22:48
disempowered, in fact, it may have been a trauma experience
22:51
themselves that they've gone through.
22:54
It might be bullying, peer relationship issues.
22:57
Sometimes what kids will use is that symbolism of army and
23:02
soldiers. I have a large pack of army
23:04
soldiers and tanks and guns and all those kinds of things,
23:08
plastic ones, guys, all of those kinds of things in the playroom,
23:10
right? And they will use that metaphor
23:14
to build different sides and show you what that battle, what
23:18
that challenge, what that difficulty really looks like in
23:23
real time. But we have to sit and observe
23:26
and understand at a deeper level, both through the content
23:29
of their play, lots of other factors, the transparency,
23:32
counter transparency, emotional expression, all of those things
23:34
come together to help us to understand that this is
23:37
something in their world that they're trying to tell us.
23:39
So they will use symbolism. They'll use resources in the
23:41
room for sure. So obviously there is different
23:46
resources that kids will use. I've also just talked about
23:48
that. But we do see obviously a lot of
23:50
that work, say in the sand tray, like I mentioned before, the
23:53
dolls house, We can see that in the kitchen.
23:56
We can see that through art, we can see that through Plato.
23:59
There is so many ways that kids will symbolically talk to us
24:03
about what's what's going on for them.
24:05
So what's our role as the therapist?
24:07
And we talked at the start of this episode a little bit about
24:11
being our authentic self. That doesn't, that doesn't
24:13
change. What I will emphasise here in
24:16
terms of understanding the emotional expression of in
24:20
children's play is the importance of us observing
24:24
themes. So we will talk about themes in
24:27
an episode. I promise guys, it's coming so
24:29
much content with CCPT, you guys.
24:31
So I'm getting to them once a week.
24:34
But it's really important. And our role as a therapist is
24:37
to observe and understand what might be some of those themes.
24:42
So for those of you trained in CCPT, you know there is a whole
24:45
list of things in child centre play therapy.
24:49
So they can be a range of different things.
24:51
So if we go back to the Army battle as an idea, those themes
24:55
could relate to aggression, safety and security, power and
24:59
control. They can be all different
25:01
aspects of the child's play. And what I like to encourage my
25:05
supervisors to think about is not only are we observing the
25:09
play when we're talking to parents specifically, because I
25:12
know sometimes it's easy for us to identify the themes in our
25:16
practise, but then it's translating that to make sense
25:19
in the real world. And often times I like to look
25:22
at what is that theme in the play and in the playroom and how
25:26
does that apply to outside? So for example, when we're
25:31
talking about, say we're talking about a bullying scenario of a
25:34
child in school who's being bullied and they come and they
25:37
show us through the army and the soldiers that they are
25:41
constantly being defeated. And they've usually put us in
25:43
the position of that. So we're always losing.
25:45
So there's something around the soldiers, one side never
25:48
winning, always being defeated, always being overpowered.
25:52
And so we talk about that theme of power and control, right?
25:54
So we would then translate that and look at that.
25:57
There's many different ways we can translate that.
25:59
Here's just one where we could say, OK, what might be happening
26:02
here? And it's all hypothesis testing
26:04
and information gathering, guys. We're never definitive, but
26:07
we're assuming or wondering or have a curiosity around maybe
26:11
outside of play therapy, feeling like they're being overwhelmed,
26:15
dominated over, don't feel like they can ever win, don't feel
26:18
like they can ever find a way out of this experience of what
26:21
they're going through. And that's how they've shown us
26:23
through the play. So in doing that, then we've
26:25
launched off that particular topic to give some strategies
26:28
and suggestions to parents because we want to make this a
26:31
parallel process where we're working in the playroom, but we
26:34
also are working holistically and upskilling parents and
26:36
caregivers. So anyway, I'm going off topic,
26:39
but what's important is for us to understand and observe those
26:42
themes. This also relates then to
26:45
participating in the play. And again, I won't go into this
26:47
in too much detail as well, but we need to stay objective as
26:50
much as we can to be able to holistically observe those
26:53
things. We definitely guys, and I can't
26:57
emphasise this enough because definitely if you're a beginning
26:59
play therapist, this will happen.
27:00
So I just want to normalise this is what happens, but also
27:03
encourage you to stay curious without rushing to interpret.
27:09
And in the beginning, we can feel like that is a way out for
27:12
us if we have an understanding fairly quickly of what the child
27:16
is trying to tell us so that we've got information to report
27:19
to stakeholders, for example, it can, we can definitely feel that
27:22
pressure as play therapist. So I just want to, again, give
27:27
you guys that permission to take some time to observe those
27:30
themes before interpreting, so we can use those curiosity and
27:35
wonder statements to children to workshop.
27:38
Are we on the right track? So we definitely, through CPT
27:42
allow them to be and express themselves authentically.
27:45
So that's really important as well.
27:48
What are some tips that I want to share with you guys before we
27:51
finish up today? I just noticed the time and I'm
27:54
like, you guys, it's 30 minutes almost.
27:57
So I guess my podcasts are no longer going to be 10 minutes
28:01
each. I hope you have found this so
28:04
far useful because I do, I go off on tangents, you guys, but
28:06
hopefully this has been useful. OK, So what are the tips for us
28:10
as CCPT practitioners? It's a really important that
28:14
we're creating that safe space. So I go back to my original kind
28:18
of wonderings and conversation at the beginning of this podcast
28:21
around, I would argue, I don't think we can create that safe
28:26
space without us feeling regulated, congruent, authentic,
28:32
truly ourselves in the playroom. So I'm really want to give you
28:35
guys that homework. Think about what that means for
28:37
you to show up authentically, not in that.
28:42
And I want to emphasise to guys that when you become a beginning
28:45
play therapist, you probably will do this because you are
28:47
building your skills and you're building your experience.
28:49
So I want to give you that permission as well to be kind to
28:51
yourselves through this process. But I think that we can often in
28:55
the beginning, lean too hard into just our approach and not
28:58
recognise some of those other super important dynamics of
29:02
therapy. So that's one of them.
29:04
So I think we need to be ourselves in order to hold that
29:07
space and offer that space of respect, mutuality, connection
29:11
and congruence. It's really important when we're
29:14
following the play that we're reflecting, but we're not
29:17
labelling so much. We want to put that reflection
29:20
out to the child to hypothesis test and understand if we're on
29:24
the right track. But we're certainly not
29:26
directing them in terms of their work or telling them how they
29:30
feel in terms of definitively telling them this is what it is.
29:33
We're very much just staying curious.
29:35
So it's very important that we are following along.
29:39
And we make sure that, as I was saying before, when we're
29:42
talking about joining the play, we obviously can connect and go
29:46
along and walk alongside them. But we don't take over.
29:49
We don't dominate that play or instruct them.
29:52
And I think that the challenge in this space can very much be
29:56
around the silence in the playroom.
29:59
I almost feel like that should be a podcast topic all of its
30:02
own. I feel like I'm going to have so
30:03
many topics this year. All right?
30:05
Every time I do a podcast, I'm like, and I'm going to add that
30:08
to the list because silence from a psychodynamic lens is
30:12
incredibly fun to reflect on and unpack.
30:16
But just being present for us as play therapists in the playroom
30:21
has such a powerful effect. I had one of my students the
30:26
other day say what a relief it was to hear that she didn't have
30:32
to be the expert in the playroom.
30:34
She didn't have to have all of the answers.
30:37
And I was truly thrilled because I was like, that is at its core.
30:43
When we look at our origins and our history of CCPT, that was a
30:48
branch falling on my roof. Sorry guys, if we look at the
30:51
history of CCPT starting way back at Anna Freud and Melanie
30:55
Klein, we definitely didn't need to be the experts.
30:59
Then we look at Carl Rogers who also sits in that person centred
31:04
space where the client is the expert.
31:06
And here comes us with CCPT, we don't need to have the answers
31:11
and be the expert. So being present is powerful.
31:17
Yeah, we also want to avoid rushing things or assessing
31:23
themes or meanings, as I've said earlier, until we've really
31:26
reflected on it holistically, access, clinical supervision,
31:29
all those good things. So what do I want you guys to
31:32
take away? I guess that, and we're going to
31:34
talk about this when we look at unpacking themes and meaning of
31:38
play in CCPT, because that's a whole other episode.
31:42
But certainly in a child centre play therapy, we will always see
31:45
patterns in children's play and it tells you so much more than
31:48
it will with words. And I definitely walk my
31:51
supervisees through that process when I am connecting with them.
31:54
And I'm keen to share that with you as well in an upcoming
31:57
episode. But definitely understanding
31:59
that play. And what I find fascinating
32:02
about kids is they absolutely don't come with an agenda,
32:04
right? They know the things that they
32:06
really want to talk about, not necessarily cognitively, but
32:08
they definitely know unconsciously.
32:10
But the incredible thing that kids do that I have noticed
32:14
consistently over my 10 year CCPT career so far is that those
32:20
sequences of play and the different themes tell a story.
32:24
So if you are just looking at 1 theme in your session so far
32:28
with a child, I encourage you to take a step back and look a
32:32
little bit more holistically across the session and in what
32:36
order you see those themes because that tells you volumes
32:40
about what the child is trying to process and communicate with
32:43
you. We are absolutely responding
32:45
with curiosity, not correction and we know that.
32:48
But I think ultimately and something that came out recently
32:51
in the training as well, that I just, it's always good to have
32:53
those reminders, which is why I have this podcast so I can share
32:56
this with you guys too, is this idea of trusting the pace of the
33:00
child, but more importantly, trust the process.
33:04
Trust yourself as the therapist and trust the child.
33:08
That's huge when you think about children who present in a way
33:15
that you struggle to connect with.
33:18
And there can be so many different reasons and so many
33:20
different factors, guys. And this should be the end of
33:22
the episode, not the beginning, right?
33:23
So I'm not going to go into this into more detail right now, but
33:26
what I think is important is if we are struggling to connect,
33:32
what is it about US in terms of how we show up and connect in
33:36
the playroom? What is it about the child and
33:38
what is it about the process that we're doubting that we're
33:40
not necessarily able to fully put that trust into?
33:43
And that's just a really important part of where self
33:46
reflection comes in and clinical supervision and personal therapy
33:49
and all of that good stuff. I am keen to give this question
33:54
to you. I've got 2 questions because I'm
33:56
ADHD and I bounce around. I love this.
33:59
So obviously the first question from earlier in this episode was
34:04
how do you authentically show up in the playroom?
34:08
What does that look like for you?
34:10
I posed that first question to you.
34:11
The second one I want to give you is I want you to think about
34:16
the last time you watched a child engaging in play, self
34:21
initiated, self directed and what feelings might they have
34:26
been working through when you were watching them in real time.
34:29
Because it literally is a superpower now that you as a
34:33
CCPT practitioner never unseen when you connect with children.
34:37
So I know for many of you going to the park, going to a indoor
34:41
play centre, you are going to see children in real time
34:44
playing out experiences, their feelings, their understanding of
34:48
the world. And as CCPT practitioners, we
34:50
can have an understanding of that before others, which is
34:53
really cool. I want to thank you guys for
34:56
being here. Time check.
34:58
It's 36 minutes. That's not too bad.
35:00
That's not too bad. Thanks for hanging out with me
35:02
for 36 minutes. We next week, as I said earlier,
35:06
in this episode, we're going to talk about tracking and
35:08
reflecting feelings. So we're going to start to do
35:11
more of those nuts and bolts of play therapy.
35:14
I hope you guys enjoyed last week's episode when we're
35:17
talking about setting up a playroom.
35:18
Please check that out. I know for many beginning play
35:20
therapists, it is questions that they have that's really helpful.
35:24
Please, if you enjoyed this episode, give us a a good review
35:28
there on Spotify and Apple podcasts.
35:30
And also please check out our Instagram at Playtherapy Circle
35:34
podcast and follow us along. And please feel free to share
35:37
because we are so passionate about getting this information
35:40
out to our communities. So thank you again for
35:44
connecting with me today and thinking about all those things
35:48
CCPT related. I wish you well, go well, and I
35:52
will see you next time. Thank you so much for being here
35:57
for another episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
36:00
If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
36:03
follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
36:07
short review. It really helps others find our
36:09
circle. And if you have a topic or
36:12
question you'd love me to explore, I'd love to hear from
36:15
you. This space is for you and I want
36:18
it to feel like a conversation. Until next time, take care of
36:23
yourself and remember you belong here.