Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Potty Training, Peer Pressure, and Pollinators | Ep. 35

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Potty Training, Peer Pressure, and Pollinators | Ep. 35 · The Parenting Podcast

• 1:03
  Cheryl: Hi listeners.
• 1:04
  Cheryl: Here we are at the TPP recording table.
• 1:08
  Cheryl: Everybody doing well?
• 1:10
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 1:10
  Cheryl: Good.
• 1:11
  Cheryl: Anything exciting going on?
• 1:12
  Danae: Well, I've been working on my yard.
• 1:15
  Danae: I saw I've been mowing a lot.
• 1:17
  Danae: Um, as the summer goes on here, I'm having to get up earlier and earlier
• 1:23
  Cheryl: and earlier.
• 1:24
  Christie: Oh my goodness.
• 1:24
  Christie: It is crazy
• 1:25
  Danae: Yes,
• 1:26
  Cheryl: I mowed mine this weekend, but I, you know, want to help all the rest of you all in the world with bees and pollinators.
• 1:34
  Cheryl: So I'm working in my yard.
• 1:36
  Cheryl: Uh, the pollinator friendly atmosphere.
• 1:39
  Cheryl: Well, let me tell you what's fun So I now have a section that is Clover.
• 1:45
  Cheryl: I've even got a little sign that I'm putting in there and I'm not mowing it.
• 1:49
  Cheryl: And it's really neat.
• 1:50
  Cheryl: Not only saying you had a sign for the bees.
• 1:54
  Cheryl: That's, what's interesting, like this morning already, when I would just walk by it, there were several honeybees.
• 2:01
  Cheryl: It's not even that biggest but honeybees and.
• 2:04
  Cheryl: Butterflies around.
• 2:05
  Cheryl: And if it, if it expands on less and less knowing that
• 2:09
  Danae: that's right.
• 2:09
  Danae: I actually saw a bumblebee today.
• 2:12
  Danae: Ooh, we're just mowing and bumblebees and
• 2:16
  Ellen: isn't it sad 20 years ago, you had to avoid the BS.
• 2:20
  Ellen: You know what I mean?
• 2:21
  Ellen: You just go outside and the bees are everywhere and now we're all noticing when we see bees.
• 2:28
  Cheryl: And I'd love to see them.
• 2:29
  Cheryl: And I go, you just keep coming to my yard.
• 2:32
  Cheryl: Where did you get your Clover?
• 2:33
  Cheryl: Well, it was just a little bit of Clover that was there because I don't spray, I don't do pesticides.
• 2:40
  Cheryl: And I started thinking about trying to even overseed and get more Clover.
• 2:45
  Cheryl: It's good for the ground and it's fabulous for pollinators.
• 2:49
  Cheryl: And so it just sort of expanding.
• 2:52
  Cheryl: So I've been protecting it and now I've actually gone to not mowing and we will see.
• 2:56
  Cheryl: What happened?
• 2:58
  Danae: I love welcome to the parenting podcast.
• 3:00
  Danae: We will also teach you
• 3:05
  Cheryl: if you just want a little history on it, people used to want Clover for the right reasons and they are.
• 3:11
  Cheryl: And then the 1950s, a lot of America started going to the manicured lawn.
• 3:17
  Cheryl: And so then Clover being classified as a weed, and they started eradicating.
• 3:23
  Cheryl: And now a lot of people are realizing, oh, by the way, that eradicating wasn't so good.
• 3:28
  Cheryl: Have you
• 3:28
  Ellen: ever seen that?
• 3:29
  Ellen: Dichondra no.
• 3:30
  Ellen: Oh, that's beautiful.
• 3:31
  Ellen: We had a neighbor.
• 3:32
  Ellen: You don't have to mow it.
• 3:33
  Ellen: This was back in the sixties and seventies.
• 3:37
  Ellen: But it's like a Clover and it just takes over the whole yard, slays, lush, and green.
• 3:42
  Ellen: They never had to mow it.
• 3:43
  Ellen: Oh my
• 3:43
  Danae: goodness, guys, this would change my life.
• 3:46
  Ellen: Know if it could grow here in Oklahoma?
• 3:49
  Ellen: I mean, Southern California gets hot.
• 3:51
  Ellen: I
• 3:51
  Christie: feel like, so,
• 3:53
  Ellen: yeah.
• 3:54
  Ellen: That's true.
• 3:55
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 3:55
  Ellen: I don't know what the.
• 3:56
  Ellen: Difference in conditions would be, but I mean, I just always remember as a kid just stopping by their house and just staring at their lawn.
• 4:03
  Ellen: Cause it was so pretty.
• 4:05
  Ellen: Wow.
• 4:05
  Ellen: Maybe it's cultivated
• 4:06
  Cheryl: Clover come to the guardian podcast
• 4:11
  Danae: and your kids can go out and play in it
• 4:13
  Ellen: and have fun.
• 4:14
  Ellen: No, we were not allowed to walk and Mrs.
• 4:23
  Ellen: would send her out.
• 4:25
  Cheryl: Well, Mrs.
• 4:26
  Cheryl: Soccer sent over.
• 4:27
  Cheryl: You're listening.
• 4:29
  Cheryl: Thank you for the ideas about.
• 4:30
  Cheryl: Our gardens, she chased.
• 4:35
  Cheryl: So we've got a very common practical question that applies to.
• 4:40
  Cheryl: Every parent's something they couldn't use everybody deals with.
• 4:44
  Cheryl: We've touched on a little bit Okay.
• 4:47
  Cheryl: So mom's sent us a question and let's see what you think about it Um, the mom that wrote is sharing a question from her friend and she says, my friend's two year old son who isn't potty trained yet and not even interested.
• 5:02
  Cheryl: And his mom doesn't even plan to really try until he's three.
• 5:06
  Cheryl: Other friends keep asking, is he potty trained yet?
• 5:10
  Cheryl: And when the mom says he's not the others start giving all kinds of tips for how they Potter train their own children and what she should do.
• 5:17
  Cheryl: And so this mom feels so much pressure to rethink her plan with her own kids.
• 5:23
  Cheryl: So the mom says, so is waiting, right?
• 5:26
  Cheryl: So there we go.
• 5:28
  Danae: Yeah.
• 5:28
  Danae: I remember getting this advice when I was pregnant with my second child.
• 5:34
  Danae: My first and second were about two years apart and I remember so many people telling me now you're going to want to potty train.
• 5:43
  Danae: Your two year old when you see this new baby, but don't do it.
• 5:47
  Danae: Don't do it because it'll be so hard.
• 5:48
  Danae: I mean, you'll have just come home from the hospital and you're going to be sore and tired and busy.
• 5:53
  Danae: Guess what I did.
• 5:59
  I got home from the hospital with this tiny little bitty newborn, and I looked at my two year old and I thought you are huge diapers.
• 6:09
  Sasquatch training the week after her newborn and you know what it worked, it worked for me.
• 6:23
  And if I would have just listened to, oh, I cannot do this because all of these people told me not to, it's not going to work.
• 6:31
  Danae: But I just, I don't know, it was like this instinct or this gut reaction to do it edit.
• 6:38
  Danae: It was fine.
• 6:39
  Danae: I mean,
• 6:43
  Ellen: both the energy and the child,
• 6:46
  Danae: I was determined, but it just made me realize, like, that's not what I did with my other children, but in that circumstance, like, You know, the wise advice was not to, and I'll admit that, that for some reason in my time of life, the season of my family was,
• 7:04
  Cheryl: and I think everything is so personal about us.
• 7:07
  Cheryl: I think of the gamut that I've had with my children.
• 7:10
  Cheryl: Um, certain kids just don't care.
• 7:13
  Cheryl: And then, my second.
• 7:15
  Cheryl: He's like nine months old he started saying boo, and then he would poop.
• 7:20
  Cheryl: And he did it about nine o'clock every morning.
• 7:22
  Cheryl: Oh.
• 7:23
  Cheryl: It was interesting And okay, let's start doing this.
• 7:26
  Cheryl: So I started taking him to the toilet at nine months, putting them on the toilet, talking with him and saying, boop, and it worked..
• 7:34
  Cheryl: I retroactively, I figured out why, so when I would change a poopy diaper, I would say, Ooh, wait.
• 7:42
  Cheryl: he started saying boo, and then he would poop And so that connection happened.
• 7:47
  Cheryl: So I never changed a dirty diaper with him again.
• 7:51
  Cheryl: I go, ah, this is great.
• 7:54
  Cheryl: Yes, I've got this.
• 7:57
  Cheryl: Didn't work with anybody else, So it was that again, very personal to that child.
• 8:02
  Cheryl: Then I had another one that was not to.
• 8:07
  Cheryl: Way into three.
• 8:08
  Cheryl: And I had done all the little tricks, dry at night, so I could tell that she was developmentally ready.
• 8:16
  Cheryl: We did him a M&Ms.
• 8:17
  Cheryl: We did everything.
• 8:19
  Cheryl: And one time I just said, sweetheart, You know, let's remember we have to go to the potty and She said, mom It's just too much to remember.
• 8:31
  Cheryl: She just wanted to live life and didn't want to getting in the way you can see that in her personality.
• 8:37
  Cheryl: And then this is also under personality.
• 8:39
  Cheryl: We went and visited our good friends and the daughter is two days difference in her.
• 8:43
  Cheryl: So they're almost twins and she had purple panties on and we came home.
• 8:50
  Cheryl: She said, mom, I want purple panties.
• 8:52
  Cheryl: Well, you know what it means?
• 8:54
  Cheryl: That was it.
• 8:54
  Cheryl: And I mean, I drove as fast as my car could go to buy all the purple panties in the world.
• 9:01
  Cheryl: So it was just developmental and it wasn't physiologic with her.
• 9:05
  Cheryl: It was, she just was too busy.
• 9:09
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 9:09
  Cheryl: I
• 9:09
  Christie: mean, I think individual children are different for different reasons.
• 9:13
  Christie: My oldest.
• 9:15
  Christie: My last trimester of my pregnancy with my second, I'm thinking, I'm going to get this kid potty trained before the baby.
• 9:22
  Christie: So I'm putting all the effort into it and she was not having it with her was more of a control issue knowing her personality.
• 9:30
  Christie: Now she likes to do things when she is the one in charge and.
• 9:35
  Christie: You know, finally realize this is not happening.
• 9:37
  Christie: I've got to have this baby.
• 9:38
  Christie: I was not, um, on the same train as you didn't have to do it with a one week old.
• 9:45
  Christie: And so then, you know, I waited a few months into having that newborn and then she was ready and I was not too keen on the idea because I had this newborn.
• 9:55
  Christie: I wanted to wait.
• 9:57
  Christie: Um, then she just kind of did it on her own well, so then I had another, who she was three and a half before she was even interested, which, you know, she, she has some sensory issues and other things going on too.
• 10:11
  Christie: So I think there's so many factors
• 10:13
  Cheryl: there.
• 10:14
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 10:15
  Cheryl: you know, and so for some families, like if they have daycare or, preschool, something like that, the diaper is a huge milestone of which class you can be in.
• 10:27
  Cheryl: And then some diapers it's pro and con some say, oh, it's all a lot easier to leave a diaper on.
• 10:34
  Cheryl: And then others say, no, it's so expensive.
• 10:37
  Cheryl: So they're motivated pro or con with a diaper And so I did some research, just seeing what they say and actually.
• 10:47
  Cheryl: they say Figure it out, what you want to do, what works well with your family and,.
• 10:51
  Cheryl: So it's just interesting what the science and the studies are on it.
• 10:57
  Cheryl: one thing I found out there are some cultures that actually start potty training when the baby's two or three weeks.
• 11:07
  Cheryl: I've heard of this.
• 11:08
  Cheryl: And so they will begin to do it to reinforce, to make that awareness for the children one
• 11:15
  Ellen: country, we lived in overseas and they would teach their children by.
• 11:19
  Ellen: Um, you know, they would do a whistle and then the child would know that was the time to go.
• 11:24
  Ellen: And that's how they probably,
• 11:25
  Danae: I don't know how to whistle
• 11:35
  Cheryl: I see it happened to work up nice thing with my son, because the BU, but to see with that, they just take the time early.
• 11:44
  Cheryl: I didn't know what started that early.
• 11:46
  Cheryl: And then they did give several things to say, this is showing that your child's demonstrating readiness.
• 11:53
  Cheryl: And so some of them like the dry diaper, different things, be sure that they can pull their clothes on and off trying to
• 12:00
  Danae: teach independence.
• 12:02
  Danae: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Danae: So if you're having to do it for them all the time, that's not giving them that independence and
• 12:07
  Christie: really just more held hostage
• 12:09
  Danae: process slot.
• 12:10
  Danae: I do remember my son like waiting and having like, he, he would be playing with his toys and he'd get so.
• 12:19
  Danae: You sidetracked and not want to have to stop playing and he'd run as fast.
• 12:26
  Danae: And I'm like, so if I had to pull down his pants that would not have worked
• 12:31
  Cheryl: but it's interesting.
• 12:31
  Cheryl: Cause you said the word independence.
• 12:34
  Cheryl: Cause first thing is surprised me on it was can they take their pants on and off?
• 12:39
  Cheryl: Oh true.
• 12:40
  Cheryl: Do they have that mindset of independence?
• 12:43
  Cheryl: And then on three different things, they all had the same one that I wasn't expecting.
• 12:48
  Cheryl: And they say, do they say no?
• 12:51
  Cheryl: That the child needs to be at the point where they will tell you that.
• 12:56
  Cheryl: Oh, why?
• 12:57
  Danae: that independence
• 12:58
  Christie: Yeah,
• 12:58
  Danae: Right.
• 12:59
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 13:00
  Cheryl: That they're already beginning to make choices Yeah, and determine that instead of a negative, we feel like no is a negative, actually it's showing it developmental independence.
• 13:12
  Cheryl: It's a part
• 13:12
  Danae: of them saying, this is me.
• 13:14
  Danae: And that as you
• 13:15
  Cheryl: exactly.
• 13:16
  Cheryl: I never realized that's a good indication that they're heading towards and owning
• 13:21
  Christie: their selves, their own
• 13:22
  Cheryl: decisions.
• 13:23
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 13:24
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 13:24
  Cheryl: New spin on the thing of, no,
• 13:27
  Danae: yeah.
• 13:27
  Danae: That would be a great podcast because that is definitely something I've been learning about that you want a child to learn to say no.
• 13:36
  Danae: Yeah,
• 13:37
  Christie: yeah.
• 13:38
  Christie: And your children to have their own opinions and be able to articulate things.
• 13:43
  Cheryl: So.
• 13:44
  Cheryl: Uh, it looks like what we're recommending is do what works for your family and each child.
• 13:52
  Cheryl: Listen to them, become a student of your child, but also look at your life.
• 13:58
  Cheryl: And what does your life need?
• 14:00
  Cheryl: Like you did decide the two different things.
• 14:04
  Cheryl: You did decide to potty, train and meet, and you did.
• 14:08
  Cheryl: Yeah,
• 14:08
  Christie: and we have different temperaments and personalities.
• 14:11
  Christie: Our kids probably have different personality.
• 14:14
  Christie: Yeah.
• 14:14
  Danae: Yeah.
• 14:15
  Danae: I was definitely very relaxed in the area of potty training, even though it seems like that story with the first one, I was relaxed in the sense that I, I just did.
• 14:25
  Danae: Seemed right at the time for that child, for what was going on in our family, you know, going back to the question, this she was asking about the advice like other people were giving her advice.
• 14:38
  Danae: And, and what it makes me think of is, you know, we, what we tend to do as parents is we compare what our children are doing.
• 14:47
  Danae: Next to other children.
• 14:49
  Danae: And I think potty training is an area where we can bring in some shame toward our children, like, oh, that's a stinky diaper and that's gross and don't do that anymore in NIAC, you know?
• 15:03
  Danae: And I think if we're also fearing someone else's judgment of us, that that is going to make that worse.
• 15:11
  Christie: That's a really good point.
• 15:13
  Christie: Yes.
• 15:14
  Christie: Do what works for your family, but that's make sure that you're not ever putting shame on your child one way or another on whether they're, you know, too fast or too slow, don't let that pass on that judgment.
• 15:27
  Christie: You might feel from other parents, never project that
• 15:29
  Cheryl: onto your child.
• 15:30
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 15:31
  Christie: Yeah,
• 15:32
  Ellen: yeah.
• 15:33
  Cheryl: This is that deeper question.
• 15:35
  Cheryl: A little bit.
• 15:35
  Cheryl: Here is the pressure she's feeling from all these sources.
• 15:40
  Cheryl: You know, and like that other people kind of shaming her.
• 15:44
  Cheryl: I know it's shaming is a trendy word, but that she feels bad.
• 15:47
  Cheryl: She feels that great.
• 15:48
  Cheryl: I feel
• 15:49
  Danae: embarrassed.
• 15:49
  Danae: I mean, a new thing or embarrassed.
• 15:52
  Danae: That's what I mean, when I say shaming, like you're feeling like what you're saying, Cheryl, that feeling shame it's, you're embarrassed because now.
• 15:59
  Danae: Wondering if I'm being a good mom or not, right?
• 16:02
  Christie: Identity Again, like we've talked about before.
• 16:05
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 16:06
  Ellen: It's not really shame,
• 16:08
  Danae: but we do shame our.
• 16:10
  Danae: Like you're a bad child.
• 16:12
  Danae: Shame is this is the difference.
• 16:14
  Danae: Guilt is you've done something bad.
• 16:16
  Danae: Shame is you are the bad.
• 16:19
  Danae: So, I mean, that's a 10,
• 16:22
  Christie: I think it's just that event was embarrassing.
• 16:24
  Christie: Shame is the identity that you're putting
• 16:26
  Danae: on.
• 16:27
  Danae: Yeah.
• 16:27
  Danae: So when you're saying, when your child is not potty training, I think it's a double whammy with potty training because I think we.
• 16:35
  Danae: Have these thoughts with other areas, but in potty training, it's this is your bodily function.
• 16:41
  Danae: Yeah.
• 16:41
  Danae: And you're telling them they're bad because they are not being able to control their bodily function.
• 16:49
  Danae: Right.
• 16:50
  Ellen: And it's a mother ego milestone.
• 16:53
  Ellen: You, you know, cause you hear moms bragging.
• 16:55
  Ellen: My kid was potty trained here and then the other woman's going on.
• 17:00
  Ellen: My kids measuring.
• 17:02
  Ellen: Yes.
• 17:02
  Ellen: And that just becomes like a mom brag
• 17:04
  Christie: point.
• 17:05
  Christie: Well, and I will say I had a child.
• 17:09
  Christie: Did not completely nitrane until she was
• 17:13
  Cheryl: 12.
• 17:13
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 17:15
  Cheryl: And we
• 17:15
  Christie: saw a urologist, nothing was physiological that needed addressed.
• 17:21
  Christie: It was hormonal.
• 17:23
  Christie: And of course, months, just months after that urology appointment.
• 17:26
  Christie: Sure enough, you know, she's, she's dry and didn't have to struggle anymore.
• 17:31
  Christie: This shame that I could have put on her, you know?
• 17:34
  Christie: And she was putting that on herself.
• 17:36
  Christie: I mean, it's a whole thing of sleepovers and camp and what do we do?
• 17:41
  Christie: And
• 17:42
  Danae: yeah, this is where it, and I bet this is what you did, you partner with your child and you say I'm in this with you.
• 17:49
  Danae: I'm a teammate with you on this.
• 17:51
  Danae: Yeah.
• 17:52
  Danae: Let's figure this out
• 17:54
  Ellen: nowadays.
• 17:54
  Ellen: We do have.
• 17:56
  Ellen: Which, you know, Cheryl, and I can say there weren't those kinds of things when we had kids.
• 18:00
  Ellen: So if you had a bed wetter or someone that took a child that took a little longer to completely potty train at night, you were still kind of having to do the diaper thing.
• 18:09
  Ellen: And that made a measure of embarrassment.
• 18:12
  Ellen: So we only had one that had a night problem, but it was nice.
• 18:16
  Ellen: Cause they were in that window where they had come out with like a nighttime pull-up.
• 18:20
  Ellen: I just called it your special underwear.
• 18:22
  Danae: Yeah.
• 18:22
  Cheryl: It's also a lot of development that we were sharing.
• 18:26
  Cheryl: It's their emotional development.
• 18:28
  Cheryl: The fact that saying no is a positive thing towards it.
• 18:32
  Cheryl: And then physiological, um, they definitely studies show it's.
• 18:38
  Cheryl: Rates generally for boys to girls, their bodies just developed different ways.
• 18:43
  Cheryl: Encourage that friend of the mom who wrote us to figure out what you're going to do.
• 18:50
  Cheryl: And then it's.
• 18:50
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 18:51
  Cheryl: Th this has a real broad spectrum, right?
• 18:55
  Cheryl: To individualized for your children, and what works for you.
• 19:00
  Danae: I wonder if a way for this mom to have something to say no, back to all these people that are giving her advice as to, after she talks to her doctor and, and is able to know that range that's quote unquote typical is to say, yeah, I talked to my doctor and.
• 19:22
  Danae: Did, you know, at, this certain age, this is typical.
• 19:25
  Danae: And so we're choosing, you know, to wait or this works better for our family to wait you know, sometimes it feels better to kind of to have like that expert behind you,
• 19:35
  Cheryl: TPP that is listening to this wonderful podcast.
• 19:39
  Cheryl: And actually the stat is that, only 40 to 60% of children in Western culture are completely potty trained by three.
• 19:52
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 19:53
  Cheryl: So she can say, well, we're just allowing their body develop.
• 19:56
  Ellen: You know, when the mom answers that question, there's a really important, um, verb that needs to be in there.
• 20:03
  Ellen: And you say we have chosen to wait till he's three.
• 20:09
  Ellen: So that, that kind of nips it in the bud and emphasize the word we have chosen.
• 20:15
  Ellen: You know, if they want to know more, they can ask, but, you know, because that really is what you're doing.
• 20:20
  Ellen: You're choosing because you look at the criteria that you think your child needs when they're ready to be potty trained.
• 20:27
  Christie: Yeah.
• 20:28
  Christie: Well, I'm that reiterating to yourself too, when you're faced with all this peer pressure to change your mind on something, once you've decided this is the best course of action for our family and for this child, then you're, you're saying that back to yourself.
• 20:40
  Christie: Okay.
• 20:41
  Christie: No, this is what we've decided we're going to
• 20:42
  Danae: stick with.
• 20:43
  Danae: There's so much advice out there though.
• 20:45
  Danae: How do, how do you make a decision on something like
• 20:49
  Ellen: this?
• 20:50
  Ellen: You pick a frame.
• 20:51
  Ellen: You pick one website and then there's other, you really do have to narrow, I think, in this day and age, all of us, regardless of your age or whatever subject we're talking about, you have to narrow it down,
• 21:06
  Cheryl: you know, it's true.
• 21:08
  Cheryl: One of the things I would recommend is if you're going to do research.
• 21:12
  Cheryl: Stay away from trendy things.
• 21:13
  Cheryl: If you want to do research, look at a credible place.
• 21:17
  Cheryl: That's something that's scientific.
• 21:20
  Cheryl: Like I shared some of the information about the actual developmental towards potty training, but you look at certain things like that and I love the idea thinking ahead of time and deciding, and then being confident in that.
• 21:35
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 21:37
  Christie: Yeah, I like it because
• 21:38
  Ellen: otherwise it becomes like, uh, you know, the Greek plays where they have all these voices coming out across the amphitheater.
• 21:46
  Ellen: Cause that's what happens.
• 21:47
  Ellen: You just get so many voices in your head about what you're supposed to be doing
• 21:52
  Cheryl: I think
• 21:52
  Christie: remembering what we've talked about before, too, about parenting not be a pass or fail, you know, that it's going to be okay.
• 21:58
  Christie: You know, if you make a choice that maybe you regret later, it's still going to be okay.
• 22:03
  Cheryl: It's with this child after.
• 22:06
  Cheryl: And where we are because of the extenuating circumstances.
• 22:10
  Cheryl: Maybe you're in the middle of a move or you've got some health issues going on or your baby, a new baby
• 22:16
  Christie: and have my four.
• 22:17
  Christie: I did lots of things different.
• 22:20
  Christie: You know, in the same area, different with each of the different kids.
• 22:23
  Christie: And of course the older ones now are like, you didn't do that with me, or, you know, but like you said, this child, these circumstances this year, this is what's working best.
• 22:34
  Cheryl: I love that good advice.
• 22:36
  Cheryl: And just relax, give yourself that grace to do that with the openness of, oh, actually this changes things.
• 22:43
  Cheryl: If something happens Okay.
• 22:45
  Cheryl: So, Hey, how about rapid fire?
• 22:48
  Cheryl: Let me ask you What are some of the techniques you used that worked for you with various children?
• 22:53
  Cheryl: For example, I will tell you bill made the suggestion because training your sons is different from 10 of your daughters.
• 23:00
  Cheryl: And he said, sweetheart, Okay, this is my husband.
• 23:03
  Cheryl: Cause I'm a woman it's different And he said they stand up.
• 23:08
  Cheryl: They don't use toilet paper.
• 23:09
  Cheryl: And he said, and this is what my mom did.
• 23:11
  Cheryl: And he took his shaving cream and would make little caps in the toilet.
• 23:17
  Cheryl: And I said, target, very motivational target practice.
• 23:20
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 23:20
  Cheryl: So that was the thing.
• 23:21
  Cheryl: Put us to jobs, anything
• 23:23
  Danae: else
• 23:23
  Ellen: well when you're potty training, if you can, if you're able to be around the house a lot, they have the potty training underwear.
• 23:30
  Ellen: pull-up So, you know, you can keep them in that that's extra thick.
• 23:33
  Ellen: So that's just a practical.
• 23:36
  Ellen: So, you know
• 23:37
  they
• 23:39
  Cheryl: make it
• 23:39
  Ellen: easy.
• 23:39
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 23:40
  Ellen: Yes.
• 23:40
  Danae: you had mentioned m&ms and, you know, Back at the beginning of my little kids, I didn't like the idea of bribing, but when it came to potty training, those little chicklet gums, and it was special because we didn't eat that much candy back then.
• 23:57
  Danae: And, and that was really special.
• 23:59
  Danae: All for the bribe.
• 24:00
  Danae: Yeah.
• 24:03
  Danae: And cute panties.
• 24:05
  Danae: I bought all the little princess panties.
• 24:08
  Danae: You wouldn't want to pee on a princess.
• 24:12
  Christie: That's what we did.
• 24:12
  Christie: I mean, we had m&ms we did dance parties.
• 24:15
  Christie: Every event was a huge celebration.
• 24:18
  Christie: Um, yeah, princess panties.
• 24:20
  Christie: I have all girls, so we didn't have to do any target practice.
• 24:24
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:25
  Ellen: Well, we kind of did all the same things.
• 24:28
  Ellen: For me after my first one, it was just, my children had to beg to be potty trained.
• 24:33
  Ellen: Right.
• 24:34
  Ellen: That was my rule of thumb when they were asking, when they're pulling off their diaper, when they're showing signs of their irritated with wetness against them.
• 24:43
  Ellen: And they're basically.
• 24:45
  Ellen: okay.
• 24:45
  Ellen: Oh, do you want to use the bathroom?
• 24:47
  Ellen: And, um, you know, for different kids that was different, but that was a really good sign.
• 24:51
  Ellen: I just didn't worry about it.
• 24:53
  Ellen: It was just when they're begging to get that diaper off it, I mean, we potty trained in.
• 24:58
  Ellen: The once a week, they want a bridge, the same thing, they were ready to go.
• 25:02
  Christie: And it wasn't a big deal because otherwise I was held hostage, you know, because at the back of target and they are saying they have to go potty.
• 25:09
  Christie: So you rush up there and then they don't go
• 25:12
  Danae: to your bathrooms,
• 25:14
  Cheryl: do hold you hostage.
• 25:17
  Cheryl: You just reminded me.
• 25:18
  Cheryl: I remember the milestone because my family was spread out.
• 25:21
  Cheryl: It wasn't all just within a few years.
• 25:23
  Cheryl: My daughter graduated from high school.
• 25:27
  Cheryl: The weekend, my youngest was potty trained.
• 25:30
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 25:31
  Cheryl: So I remember that weekend and it was also, it was an April and it was over a hundred degrees.
• 25:37
  Cheryl: So it was a really interesting weekend.
• 25:41
  Cheryl: And my daughter gave the graduation talk Okay, good.
• 25:45
  Cheryl: So moms, this is one of those subjects.
• 25:48
  Cheryl: It's practical, but also who would have thought that potty training can be a reflection of your philosophy of parenting and.
• 25:57
  Cheryl: I want to encourage that mom, that's listening to all those people's criticism.
• 26:02
  Cheryl: I would just encourage her to either ignore them and just be gracious or to have confidence.
• 26:08
  Cheryl: It's okay.
• 26:09
  Cheryl: Just figure out what you all and your family wants to do.
• 26:12
  Cheryl: And like, Ellen.
• 26:14
  Cheryl: Embrace that and just let the rest of it.
• 26:16
  Cheryl: Remember,
• 26:17
  Ellen: and it'll be done in no time.
• 26:19
  Ellen: I mean, I don't know any children that have taken two years to be potty trained.
• 26:23
  Ellen: They may be out there, but you know, that's on the far end of everything
• 26:27
  Christie: it's usually, and I had a nurse tell me I've never seen a person graduated in diapers.
• 26:34
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 26:34
  Cheryl: That's great.
• 26:35
  Cheryl: This was just a little bit of unusual subject and it was fun doing it.
• 26:39
  Cheryl: And we are out of time.
• 26:41
  Cheryl: Thank you all again.
• 26:43
  Cheryl: Good to be here.
• 26:44
  Cheryl: It was good And look forward.
• 26:46
  Cheryl: We'll come back next weekend.
• 26:48
  Cheryl: Talk about something else.
• 26:49
  Cheryl: Sounds good.
• 26:50
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 26:50
  Cheryl: Moms remember hang in there.
• 26:53
  Cheryl: Keep loving, keep persevering because it is worth it