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Culture, Courage, and Connection: The Keys to Better Leadership with Dr. Alejandra Rodriguez Mielke · Learnings and Missteps by Depth Builder

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I can just flip the script and I am going to learn how to adapt, how to use my flexibility as a Latina, and use it in the way that it has to be used.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of anxiety about changing your behavior and this and that, but I think that we're all adapting, we're all flexible.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: We have to, and it's important and it's growth when we adapt and learn and change.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful without being hard on ourselves.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: In your own cultural awareness, who are you culturally and how you act.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: When you can name it, you can tame it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: What is going on?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: L m family back again, and this time I have like a super I don't even know how to say it like just super engaging and courageous human being.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: She reached out, we connected on the linkedin and she says, hey, I've got, let's talk.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: I got some questions.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: I want to meet up like yeah, sure, and it's like in person, oh okay.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: And on the weekend, oh okay.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Like very few people have that level of courage and I'm so glad I did it.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: She's an amazing human being.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: So if talent development is something that you've ever had to deal with or wish you knew how to do, she is the ultra expert at maximizing talent, developing leadership and interpersonal skills, and she's worked in a multitude of industries construction, healthcare, finance, tech, manufacturing, like all of the above.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: So if you're going to try and wiggle out of well, that doesn't apply to me.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: You're a liar.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: She's got it going on.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Dr Alejandra Rodriguez-Milkey is going to blow our mind with all the secret sauce that she has to fix companies and make things awesome.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: But before that, if this is your first time here, this is the Learnings and Missteps podcast, where you get to meet amazing human beings just like you who are sharing their gifts and talents to leave this world better than they found it.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I'm Jesse, your selfish servant, and we are about to get to know Dr Alejandra.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Dr Alejandra, how are you today?
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I'm doing fantastic, thank you.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me, jesse.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I'm super happy to be here and be able to have this conversation with you today.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: So thank you, ready, happy to be here.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm excited, folks, if y'all don't know this, well, y'all wouldn't know this.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Not only is like Dr Alejandro, like straight up, let's go, let's connect action oriented.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Let's go, let's connect action oriented.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say it, you're that way times a thousand, because you and I had a conversation over coffee.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: We talked about a newsletter, and then, bam, like a week later, you launched a newsletter.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Like you, just, you just default to action.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Has that always been the way you operate?
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Where does that come from?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes, some people call it impulsiveness.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love doing things.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: It's always for me, it's always what's next?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: What's on the other side?
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: What happens if I turn around this corner?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: What am I going to find?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: What am I going to do?
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: So I've always been very restless.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: There's something about that that might be a little bit of impulsiveness, yes, and a lot of curiosity.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I cannot be in a place that I'm not learning and I'm finding out new things and it's what drives me, that curiosity to go and see what's out there in the world different industries, different organizations, different human beings.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: So that's what moves that action.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, it's a sense of curiosity, of doing and learning and finding out what's like.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I said, what's around the corner.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So it's been close to me.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I think that's one of the reasons that I'm in this country.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I moved from Monterrey, mexico, here actually 25 years ago Exactly Last week I celebrated my 25th anniversary.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was because I couldn't stay.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, I had to go, I had to move, I had to go and learn.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: So that's something that has been with me and I think it's connected to my father, even though he might not appreciate all my moves all the time, of course not, but when he.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: But of course I think it's a lot because of him.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: He was, he had that kind of personality as well so, always learning, always eager, challenging, curious, exploring.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I think it's amazing because I'm, you can't tell, I have the same energy and I totally appreciate it.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: But I also I've, I've been told the same Jesse, you're too impulsive.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, whatever Like.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Until you have to pay for my impulsiveness, don't complain, because I'm paying for it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: You're not Now the curiosity, the adventure.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: How is that connected to organizational analysis, because I know that's kind of your sweet spot analyzing the way organizations function and so forth.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: What is the connection between that and your bias to action, your curiosity, that need to keep learning and growing?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I've been always fascinated by human beings.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I major in English literature, so for me it was really about stories, learning more about the human beings.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I majored in English literature, so for me it was really about stories, learning more about the human being.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: And, of course, literature is a reflection of our thoughts and ideas and beliefs and how we advance, right, so it was always something about the human beings.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: And then I became an expert in learning and education, right, and how to ensure that people go from point A to point B, right, that movement, that learning, and I think that's what has been guiding me all this time.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I think I would have been a fantastic anthropologist as well, because I do want to understand what makes people move, what makes people act in the ways they act, what makes people change, because that's the hard one, as we all know, right, what is it there?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: What are some contexts that make this change, this advancement, more easy for some people, and what other contexts that things just do not move and you go back and you hear the same complaints, right, and you hear the same problems, and you go back and they're like, okay, there's no movement.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: And I'm always been very fascinated and curious about this.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: What are the contexts that create this change, this advancement, right and what are the ones that not?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: And it's easy for me to go on, whether, regardless of the organization, the teams, the industry, like I said, I go there and I start observing with my big research eyes and my big anthropological eyes what's going on here right?
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: What are the missing pieces that can make this better?
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: What's not working well?
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: And for me and I'm sure it's going to be similar to you it's always around the people.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: It's always around the people, the way that we interact with each other, the way that we relate to each other.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And when we have work in the middle of those interactions, then we have to talk about demands and orders and hierarchy and bosses, so it messes the whole thing up.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: But we live in a world where we are in workplaces a lot of a time, like a chunk of our time.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: So we need to understand how are these content, these workplaces created and what can we do to make them better?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Because work workspaces are not going to go anywhere, so they're here today.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: So it's always interesting to for me.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I always go into the people.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: What are those dynamics that are not working?
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Other people might go and take a look at the workplace from a different perspective.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But it's all about people.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I think it's key.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: So what I'm hearing is, when you're talking about works, but you're talking about, your focus is human dynamics, interpersonal relationships, not the structure.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: I mean the structure, of course, but not like the lighting or floor plan.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: You're talking about how do people interact, function within this organization, which is, I'm sure?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: How many times have you heard this question?
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's not even a question.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if your stuff is going to help, because we're different.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And I believe that one for a little bit.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: And oh, yeah, oh, I want to go.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I'm curious me.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're yeah, oh, I want to go, I'm curious me, oh, you're different.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'll be there, I really want to see.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: And then, when I started seeing, oh, this is not this, I've seen this, I've seen this.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, patterns begin to show up, patterns of interactions, and I'm like, oh, no, I mean, of course there's some differences, right, but there are a lot of similarities, because we're all human beings and we have a lot of these.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: A lot is about fear, right, we are very afraid of what other people are going to think about us, fear of rejection, fear of a lot of things, and they are, they create.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: These patterns, are very, are easy to see in many different ideas, very different contexts.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: And I think, for me, one thing that I have to say as an immigrant, because I'm an immigrant in this country, right, I think, when you come to a different country, even though I already spoke English, even though I had been in Austin, texas, texas, for a long before I moved here, I even had a few friends here, so it was not a completely foreign to me, but still coming.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: When you come to another country, you have to adapt different ways.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: You have to keep your eyes open to people are doing things differently.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: So that gives me or has given me, I think this extra sensitivity to go and observe and say, hey, what's going on here, what's working, what's not working.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: And I think that's what gives me that extra thing, what's going on here?
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Because I have to do that all my life because I'm a foreigner in this country.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I'm a foreigner, I have to learn, I have to understand, I have to adapt Right, yes, yes, adapt to.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I'm a foreigner in this country, I'm a foreigner.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: I have to learn, I have to understand, I have to adapt right yes, adapt to the conditions.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: So you mentioned being an anthropologist and I want to be clear.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to minimize people's problems, because there are uniqueness, there are things that are different, nuances and so forth.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: However, in all the industries that you've worked in construction, healthcare, finance, tech, manufacturing, all of it the one thing that they all absolutely have in common is people.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: We got to do the LNM family member shout out, and this one again, I didn't write the name down, so I'm sorry.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I love you, but I didn't get your name.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: But here's the message she says I took.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: When I say she, I don't even know it's a she.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I took Jesse's class on time management and you hit all the high notes for me.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I love lists, I'm super visual and Jesse really knows how to bring the best out of people and the best out of the tools that are readily available.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 11:28
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• 11:43
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• 11:44
  Speaker 2: But more importantly to everybody out there, you already know, if you leave me a message, a testimonial, repost, do five stars, all of the things.
• 11:53
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• 12:04
  Speaker 2: People are people all the time.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: People are people, yes, definitely.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: And so you mentioned in your work or just kind of in general, you picked up on the patterns of how this might be going too far.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: But you picked up on patterns on dysfunctional, the dysfunctionality.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: What are some of the most frequent patterns that you've seen out there?
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Or maybe what are your favorite ones that you see?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, I could help there.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: So I, oh, I have so many, but I think one of the ones that I think it's a universal one and it's kind of the basis and the foundation for many other things.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: And it's this idea, the basis and the foundation for many other things.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: And it's this idea of fear, right, it's a fear that can has many ways of showing up, right?
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Fear of rejection, fear of what other people are going to say, right, especially a lot of us that we were raised in latin cultures, we have this thing about what ¿Qué va a decir la gente?
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: What are they going to say about me?
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Fear of being taken advantage of, of being a joke, or fear of being discovered.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: So I think that is the fear, and I think it's a fear that has many ways of showing up.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: And I think this fear is about understanding that we are alone in this world.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: And I think at some point we understand that we are alone.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And I think that feeling of being alone and unprotected, if I can say that, that we have to do it on our own, is something that, for some reason, is very ingrained in a lot of our beliefs.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you have seen, but I think for me is that it's very ingrained, and then that prevents us from being more open.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it prevents us from having real and more meaningful connections.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's just this which is kind of contradictory, because you are afraid, you want to protect yourself, but at the same time you're not open and you don't understand that by opening and connecting you can also protect yourself.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, that you don't have to do that on your own, but you don't want to because you don't trust.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: So I think for me it's always around this fear of, and I think that we feel alone and we are alone, we come alone and we die alone.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: But I think there's a misunderstanding of how that we can be in this world, and it has to do with culture as well, the individualistic culture of the US, so all these things, and it takes time because even that is a skill that we have to learn how to connect, how to release that fear.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: You talk a lot about vulnerability, right?
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: It's very easy to say the word.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: I have an accent, a little bit of an accent.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I might struggle with the word, but it's very easy.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: But it's very difficult to do it in real life In practice.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, yes, 100%.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Do it in real life In practice.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, yes, a hundred percent.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: So I had a one of one of my counselors.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: One of my therapists told me Jesse, you suffer from chronic uniqueness.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I was like what do you mean chronic uniqueness?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: And the point was all like I would I refuse to recognize that it's impossible for me to be the only human being to have had these experiences At this time in my life.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Vulnerability was absolutely not an option.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: There's no way which reinforced my problem.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: If I wasn't willing to open up to people and admit that, hey, I have this fear, this concern, whatever insecurity, I would never learn that I'm not the only one that has those fears and insecurities.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: And so that's why she tells like you're chronically unique.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: If you continue to think that you're the only person, you will reinforce that idea and you're going to stay stuck and so.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: But to your point, vulnerability, very easy to say.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: In practice it's a little bit different.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Now you help companies with this.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Like you go in and you've done, you've got your doctorate in organizational stuff, like you've accomplished a ton, you've helped tons and tons of people, leaders, with this.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Do they, when they call you to this say hey, dr Alejandra, can you help us with vulnerability?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Does that happen to you?
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: No, no it's always.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: I mean I wish, but I mean I don't think I would even ask for help like that, right, I think it's hard for all human beings, but no, they all.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I mean it's very reactive instead of proactive, right, there's always very we have a problem, we have a fire.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people spend a lot of time at work putting out fires and it's exhausting.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: It's exhausting and it's never ending, right, because the fires are always going to be there.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: But when really things get bad is when they start either losing people or it's always related, some kind of like when they are money, they are not reaching out, the clients that they want to reach or something is is the dynamics, are a lot of complaints, right, but no, they don't reach out.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: For that, I think it's difficult and I like.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: So I've been working with engineers lately, jesse and I love engineers.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I never thought I was gonna love engineers so much because I have nothing about engineering in my life.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I'm not an engineer, I married one, but I don't have anything.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: But I love working with them and I my mission in life is to be able to help them understand that these skills of being open, of connecting, really influencing others or motivating others or building good teams are skills like the skills that they use to measure windows, for example, or do whatever technical work that they have to do.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: That there are skills that we can learn, that we can learn, and there are ways to learn those skills and then you can implement them and you can be better at those, and those are going to help you tremendously At work outside of work personally, right internally.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: But I think what causes me a lot of frustration is that nobody teaches us these skills.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Nobody does so.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I remember a long time ago when I was like, oh, my friend was selected to go to leadership skills training and it was a big deal and I'm like, oh cool, what is that?
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is decades ago, right, and it's like why some people are selected to go to this?
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Right, why only some people when there's skills that everybody needs?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: So it pains me when I see a lot of young engineers, young that are absolutely clueless in how to develop their teams, but not because they don't want to or they can't, it's because they don't know how.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: So I want to do that and that will require a little bit of vulnerability, right?
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't use the word a lot, but it's needed because you have to to learn new things.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you, and it's not picking on engineers, but learn new things.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you, and it's not picking on engineers, but I get it Like the folks that I know that have the engineer mindset.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: They place tremendous value on their technical expertise and almost have zero value for interpersonal expertise, relationship, communication, conversational because what are we talking about?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Tell me what we need to do, which is fine, until you have to lead people, and so and to your point, I think you made this point, so I want to ask it a different way is people are people, they're always going to be people, but then we put them in this work environment and, for some reason, it's like the work environment is designed to help people hate each other.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: What do you think about that?
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: That's so funny.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it seems like there are certain situations of being so close to each other that that competitive aspect of the workplace right that our cultural values I mean we live in western societies where we have very specific gender roles that we have to follow, some more than others, but they exist and all that is like, like you said, it puts all the ingredients in the stove in that workplace, right the pot or the perfect soup or the perfect storm, whatever.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: I think that I once read.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I once they told me to a point that it is only in these interpersonal relationships where we grow as people.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: We can learn all the technical.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: But the system was created.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I always tell my clients you were put in the perfect lab for it, but you were put in the perfect lab to develop what you have to develop.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Now they put all the ingredients you want to call God, the universe like a lego set and they put all their little ingredients for you to develop your new skills.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: So you have to develop.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: They did it, it's there for you.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: So I think that the workplace is a perfect and families also.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I think that we're oh my god, but it's because the system we were designed to develop through those interactions with other human beings, because if not, there's no growth.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, there is no advancement.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, of course, you can learn to code beautifully or you can learn to whatever, but the real advancement is through these personal interactions.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's what I found out.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I, luckily, I had a boss who told me, jess, you're pretty good Technically, you're good foreman, you make money, get jobs done on time, but our people quit on you and our clients hate you.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, you're going to have to start developing people.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: And so, which was again back to the structure of business.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Like, we hire people and we assign them specific tasks and when they execute those tasks really well, we give them a raise, we give them a promotion, give them more tasks.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: They get good at those.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: We give them a raise, we give them a promotion.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: And so the whole time we're reinforcing their abilities as an individual contributor and to be excellent on execution of things.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: And then we say, okay, they got so good, now we're going to make them in charge of people.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: And because this whole time was, say, three, five, eight years, whatever it was, I was successful by managing things, I end up managing people as if they're things and there's no ladder or development of.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's start helping you develop the skills to, to, to communicate concisely, to take feedback, to deliver feedback.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Like that doesn't happen until everybody's quitting on you.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Am I wrong, or was that just my story?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's, you're totally right.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: I mean I had a client who the first session he sat down and he said I just told my high school age kid, whatever you do in life, do not manage people.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I mean he was that frustrated.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: He was that frustrated because he was a civil engineer, super smart.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sure he coasted through school.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: He got a master's degree.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: He advanced because they're very high demand Civil engineers are in high demand so he had a very good job and then he had to manage people in a different place and it was a lot of ingredients that again were creating that perfect storm.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: And he was like I just told my kid whatever you do not manage people.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: And I'm like how can you be like that I mean regardless of work how can you feel so incapable of dealing with people?
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: It's not a good place to be right.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, but a lot of people do.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: They promote and hope.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've heard that word.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Promote and hope.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: And let's see how it goes.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: And also the Peter Principle right when you go, you advance, you send and then at some point things are going to get interesting.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I think it takes a lot of awareness at all levels of the organization Awareness at high, those people who are like, hey, what are we going to do when we promote people?
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: What plan do we have?
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Do we have someone who can help?
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, how we're going to do this.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: And then awareness at the other levels is like, hey, I'm about to do this, I need help, to ask for help, we have to do something for me and my other people and my teams and everything, but just hoping that things are going to happen are it's going to be hard, because those are not innate.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Even I've always said this, even for me consultant on people skills or whatever I have to develop my own people skills.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: I have to put some practice on those.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, I have to put my work on those because it's not, again, automatic, it's not an aid.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Or you can be like my husband who said I'm sorry, I'm not going to manage anyone, so do whatever you want to do.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: He's an engineer, coding and he's happy and he has never managed people.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: So, but you have to have some kind of awareness to realize, hey, we're going to, we need something for our people and you also ask, hey, don't leave me alone here, please help me out in one way or another.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think that's a great point your husband recognized.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: I am not going to do that and there's a cost to it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: If you're not willing to do that, there's a certain level and cool If you're good with that, good, we need you to do the coding.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: But if you want to advance, you're going to have to.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: You really are going to have to manage people, and so what can you do to start building those skills?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Now, what have you learned about yourself through the work that you do and watching the patterns and guiding people and restructuring?
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: What popped up that surprised you about you?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I love that question because, again, that curiosity that keeps moving me to go and move countries and do this and do that.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard to put it towards yourself right, turn around and be curious about yourself.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: And I've yeah, that is not as easy even I mean for no one, I think, and me included.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: So I've learned that I'm very tenacious, I stick.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I've learned that I'm very tenacious, I stick, I won't quit, I stick.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: But I've also learned that I am not the expert in a lot of things.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: I mean you have to be humble, you have to be open, to continue learning.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I think it's related, but I think I've learned that and I also have to learn how to be vulnerable.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Let's be honest about that.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: It's something about the education and the.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: I mean I have a PhD and all that and I'm like that's not not that it's not enough, but it's like that doesn't tell the whole story.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: You have to continue how to be vulnerable and ask for help and reach out and more.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: When you think that you have reached out, you reach out more and try, you try more.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: And when you think that you have, whatever is it?
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I think that has been one of my big learnings.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: That is a work in progress, it's never ending and it's part of being human.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: So, but it's hard, it's hard.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: There are risks of being vulnerable, especially for a woman, and so there are a lot of latinas or the little risks, but I've learned to that.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to also put a little bit of walk the talk a little bit yeah oh, yeah, definitely yeah, well, I love it, it's, it's that right.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: It's sure I can help.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, and there's room here too.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: There's some work I need to do here.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: When I moved here, like I said, I mean I knew everything but it was a cultural shock.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: And then I got my therapist.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Of course I was working for 10 years and then we parted ways and then I'm seeing another one.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: But it's like going to the gym.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I mean my muscles are not going to stay muscle strong if I don't go to the gym.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: But we have such a hard time talking about those things and I think it's getting better.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I think a little bit better, but it's hard to understand that.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: It's just part of being healthy and sometimes it's easier said than done.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Definitely Okay.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Now you've mentioned the word cultural a few times and I want to come back and talk about cultural competence.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: But before that, like back when you were in Monterrey, 15, 10, 12 years old, did you know?
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is what I want to do.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have my doctorate degree, I'm going to be in Austin, I'm going to be consulting and helping with people.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Was it that easy?
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: No, not at all.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I had really no idea what I was thinking when I was 10 or 12 or 15, what I wanted to do.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, but I, I went into education after, after college, I went to education and I realized that I said I learning, I like teaching, I think I like that ecosystem of learning, and so definitely that was part of me.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: But and then at some point I really wanted, I was like at this time I have to go, I have to go.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: One thing that is funny and I want to put it here for everyone to know, is that I was still living at home because in Mexico it's very common to live with your parents for longer than just and I went to college in my hometown, so I was still there.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: So it was really a time to move Right and and I said, okay, let's just go.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: But I had no idea, really had no idea.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Came to UT and I was going to apply to another master's but the admissions officer said, oh, you already have a master's, and she took out the application and she put the application for the PhD and I mean and I'm like, why not?
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: And I have to say that, of course, definitely, coming here to this country and UT changed me completely.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I'm a whole different person.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: You cannot go through a PhD program and not change completely, and there's still a lot of things to change and fix right, but it definitely changed.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: And then that's when I realized that there was a lot of work to do with the Latino community in this country.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: So in one way or another, I've always been helping the Latino community, and that's first in education.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I work with school districts across the state.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I work with a lot of education agencies, and then I moved into.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I wanted to see okay, well, let's see how the Latino community is doing in corporate America, so let's go there.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: So I work there, always trying to support not always, but big time of my work has been towards the Latino community, and that's the kind of one of the things that brought me into construction.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Be honest, I mean, it was about the Latino community.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: I work with everyone, but of course, the Latino community is very important to me and that's one of the reasons that I'm doing what I'm doing.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Definitely I want to support the Latino worker, construction workers and employees.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I think they are, as we all know, a big part of the construction industry and I want them to keep racing and keep moving into higher positions of visibility, and that's one of the reasons that I'm doing also all this work, but no plans for that absolutely no good, because so far no one said well, I take that back, I make it shapiro.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: She's the one person man, there may be a couple other people I know, but she's the one person I've interviewed who said oh yeah, I knew I was going to be a lawyer when I was a teenager.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: I was going to be a lawyer, and she's a dang lawyer now.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: She probably didn't know that she was going to be starting her own little business and managing conferences and stuff.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: But I think for the L&M family members out there, it's not a straight line.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: And I think one thing you touched on that I think is super, super important is, yes, which and I appreciate greatly you do have a PhD from the University of Texas in Austin and master's from Monterrey.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, you're extremely accomplished and credentialed and I'm just a really good looking plumber and the way you make me feel human and accepted, right.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: So there's these insecurities of I don't have the credentials, I don't have the certifications, but we can still have this amazing conversation because we're human beings, and so I want to put that.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: The reason I'm saying that is so that the listeners out there I understand how scary and intimidating it can be to not have the certifications and credentials and whatever, and sure if you want to go get them.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: But that doesn't make you any more, any less human, and you kind of touched on that earlier when you were talking about what you learned about.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, you can have the degrees and the certifications and all the things, and you're still human.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: You're learning.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I still have flaws many of them and I still catch myself like, oh, did you just do that?
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, okay, where did that come from?
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: I mean humans, we're totally humans, right?
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God, I love that.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Now I was looking at your LinkedIn bio and there was something in there about cultural competence and I don't know enough about it, except that I'm like there's something valuable there.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: So what is cultural competence Like?
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: How can our people, the listeners, think about that so that they can better serve the people in their, in their surrounding?
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love cultural companies.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I love that topic, of course, and that's one of my, that's why it's one of my services, but so I work, maybe not as much as I want, but I do it in one way or another.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Always add some of those, because is that is when I support people, learn.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: support people to learn how to work better across cultures because, we, and then, for example, the Latino culture, and you have many other cultures, people that have teams in India, right, and they have teams in Korea.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Now, we have a lot of organizations that have teams all over the world right, it's happening.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: So when we are faced with difference, when we are faced with cultural differences, there's always going to be like a break right, either conscious or unconsciously.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: This is different and we have all the alert signs.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: This is different.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: I don't understand what's going on here and I sometimes I joke that I live in a world of I just don't get it.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I just don't get it.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Who knows they're like that or like this?
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Who knows, it's weird, it's different.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: So I help them develop those skills that make them good at working across cultures.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: So develop their cultural competence, because there's always going to be some differences.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: There are differences because we have different personality right, they're a very individual level, but there are also differences that are there because of different cultures.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: So I try to support the understanding of these differences so we can work better together.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Now I have my.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: That I find fascinating regarding the construction company is that sometimes this cultural difference can affect I mean, it affects everything the way we communicate, the way we build trust.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: But it can also affect safety, because there's a lot of articles and I'm a total.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I go to Google Scholar once a day.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I'm talking about articles and there's a lot of research that talks about how safety might be impacted by these cultural differences.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: For example, the Latino construction worker might say since one of our Latino cultural values is familismo and we are very community-centered and family-centered, we keep these groups right.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: But, sometimes, if the primo, if the cousin is not doing what the supervisor said, I'm going to follow what the cousin is doing, not what the supervisor is telling me to do.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: The cousin is part of my group, yeah.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Part of my group.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: So Part of my group.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: So that can be one way.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: And the supervisor who's?
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: No, I don't understand, he's weird, it's another culture.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be a little bit more so that might be one way where cultural violence might affect safety, for example.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: So then it gets in the way.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: So I think it's essential for us to understand how we work across cultures.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: We need to know that we're going to have ways of seeing the world that are based on our culture.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: That might be different and you have to.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I always say you have to stop your cultural cruise control Driving and we have our own views, views and we just go through life.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: We don't think about that because of course, that's the way that we've been functioning since we were babies.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: But I always say you have to stop your cultural cruise control.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: Stop it because and think, hey, can this be seen from differently, from another perspective?
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Can this be due to a different cultural aspect?
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Possibly this was because of something that I had not considered, but only when you stop that cultural cruise control right, you stop and you ask those questions, you become respectfully curious.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I always talk about that Very respectful, and you ask and you get to know other cultures and ways of being and doing.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: So that's why, oh, you just stirred the pot so cultural.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: Here's one thing, folks, if you didn't catch this Ellen and family member, the way you break, or the medicine for cultural cruise control is to be respectfully curious.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Now, when I hear respectfully I'm sorry cultural cruise control, I want to share a story because I know I'm not the only one that's had this problem.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: And I want to know is that an example of cultural cruise control?
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Now, when I was brought up, you respect your elders.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Right To this day, when I'm talking to an elder and they call my name, I say Monday, I don't even.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: It's just a natural thing, right, hey, chewy, just Monday.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: I know like I'm not going to say what, because then I'm going to get slapped, amen.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: And so my upbringing was respect your elders, don't challenge your elders, don't talk back to your elders, respect your elders, which served me very well when I was a student and a kid.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: But then I got into the professional space and it didn't serve me very well.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Like, only to like.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: When I was ready, like I need more challenge, I want to grow and get promoted, and still didn't challenge my elders or the authority.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: It was a problem.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Because why, Like?
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: You're never saying anything, you just agree.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: You're not bringing anything to the table and I'm like y'all are.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: You're the elders, you're the bosses.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Is that an example of cultural cruise control?
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Exactly we can talk.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, let me go and get more coffee because we can talk hours and hours about this.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: Exactly, my culture, your culture, control was just going in one way.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: This is the only way, this is a way that I know how to function, how to work, how to do this one.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: But at some point the context was like and then you stop.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: But at some point the context was like and then you stop.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I have to turn off this cruise control and learn and adapt and learn and see what I need to do.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: And I think I have the same exact example At UT Dr Jo Worthy.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: That was one of my advisors.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Dr Worthy asked me to call her Jo by her first name, jesse.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: Was that?
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: hard.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: She was a professor, my advisor, and I was like I can't.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, shauna and I always set an example.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: And Shauna was an Anglo girl.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: A friend of mine was still in touch.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Shauna had been calling Jo since day number one of the program.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: And then I couldn't even call Dr Worthy Joe until for six months.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't call her anything, I was just like hi how are you?
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Fine, and then what happened?
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, uh-uh, you have to, yeah you have to right.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: So that is that kind of okay.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: But the respectful curiosity that I talk is that maybe from other people your supervisors and your example could have stopped their own cultural cruise control and say what's going on here?
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: There must be something else going on here.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is that's why, jesse, that case is behaving in this way.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: So what's going on here?
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: So they could also have stopped their culture control and said hey, jesse, tell us more about your culture.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Who are you, what do you think, what do you appreciate, what do you value?
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: I mean those conversations of connecting you don't have to become best friends with everyone at work, but those connections is like Tell me more in a very respectful way, that's all I'll say.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Respectful curiosity Tell me more about how you see life, how you see war, how do you see your advancement, what are you thinking?
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, tell me about how you experience world and the job as a Latino man in this country, or something like that.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: Beautiful point.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: I did have somebody who had that cure, that respectful curiosity, and this was now I'm like at this point in my career, I have regional responsibility, I'm traveling around the country and it was the first meeting that he and I were in and I have a like I've gotten over the challenging authority, like I'm fine with it at this point, and but I didn't say anything.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: And we it was like a four hour workshop strategy check-in, whatever it was, and I didn't say a whole lot.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: And so after the meeting he said hey, jess, I asked you some question.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: I'm not, I really am just being curious.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I'm not judging you.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, don't like, what's your problem?
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: He said well, you were extremely quiet, you didn't say a lot.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: You asked questions but you didn't say a lot.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Is it because you don't think it's appropriate for you to speak in the room?
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: And I say thank you for asking me that question, cause now I know that you're a he's a real one.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Right, he gets it.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: So thank you for answering asking me that question.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: I said no, I said I have adopted a way, a mode of operation, where I am not going to say something if it's redundant, if somebody already said the thought that I had.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: I don't need to change or say it a different way.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be seen like I'm here, and so what that means is I will only speak when I care about something deeply and it hasn't been said.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: He's oh.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, he's okay.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: I said let me guess you you've seen other guys like me, with a beautiful tan, like me, that don't speak up, and it's because they're afraid they're not supposed to.
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: He's like how'd you know?
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: I said cause I used to be that way.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Right, we're all like that.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Right, I get it, I don't have that problem anymore.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: I'm just not going to repeat something that's already been said.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: I want to contribute value, and if I can't contribute value, then let's at least keep it going.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: We don't need to be saying the same thing a million times, and so I guess maybe the takeaway for our listener is they're out there, so find them.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: And when I say they, the amazing leaders that have this cultural awareness and the respectful curiosity, they are there.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: You just got to find them.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: And also do your own cultural understanding of who you are, culturally speaking, like when I couldn't say, when I couldn't call Joe Joe for months, it was not because I was defective, it was not because I had a problem, it was not because I was not that smart, it was just because my culture had taught me differently.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I understood that.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I said that's one of my we call them cultural scripts that respect the cultural script.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: When I understood that and so I can just flip the script and I am going to learn how to adapt, how to use my flexibility as a Latina and use it in the way that it has to be used.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of anxiety about changing your behavior and this and that, but I think that we are all adapting, we're all flexible, we have to, and it's important and it's growth.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: When we adapt and learn and change.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful without being hard on ourselves.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: In your own cultural awareness.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: Who are you culturally and how you act?
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: When you can name it, you can, tame it, you can say hi, it's not that it's.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: I'm just being respectful because I was taught to do that.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's it Not a big deal?
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Then you can just change it when needed and according to the circumstances, and then we're going to be fine.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: But if you are unaware, when you cannot name it, then you cannot do anything about that.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: You cannot tame it.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, no.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: I think what I love the most is the awareness, and for me, I've learned that if I just slow down a little bit, my awareness will spike.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: But if I'm running 100 miles an hour all the time, guess what's not happening.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: I am not aware of myself at all.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: And we go back to the cruise control right, as useful as it is, stop it every once in a while, and you can.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I talk about cultural cruise control, but we can talk about anything, because sometimes we're just doing putting out fires left and right without stopping, without hey, what's going on, without engaging in reflective practice, what information am I getting, and what is that information telling me about?
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Things might have to be done differently, but that craziness of life is we have to stop sometimes, right?
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, 100% Now you.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: So you and I connected you.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: I know you connected with my sister, jennifer Lacey, connected with Megan.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: You've traveled, you've come in from another country.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: I have a friend, her name's Anessa.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: I haven't talked to her in years.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: Nessa and Estella I met them in salsa class.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: Oh cool, oh yeah, it was amazing.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: It's a long time ago and they just traveled all over the place, like they just met people.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: I was like, wow, y'all are.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: I want to be like y'all when I grow up.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: And now I'm a little more like that.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: You have decided to intentionally.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: It's what it looks like to me.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: It looks like you said you know what I want to connect with these people in this space and I'm going to go do it and you're doing it now.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: That is terrifying for the majority of people in general.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: And then if I zoom in for women in general, and then if I zoom in for Latinas, it's like more and more profound that you're doing this.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: And so what I think might be helpful for folks is how did you get, how do you think about what you're doing in those terms, like you're not necessarily the work that you do, your expertise, but just putting yourself out there to connect with people.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: How do you do that?
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: How do you get the courage to do that?
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: It's funny, right, because it doesn't seem courageous when I do it, but when I think about it I'm like, oh, and when I think, when I go into my reflective practice, right, and I think about me and my life, I was an extremely shy little girl.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: I was a shy little girl.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: So this is what happens, and I hope people listen to this, especially the younger Age.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Years of experience is amazing because it gives a different perspective, right, different way of like hey, you know what?
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Nothing happened Suddenly.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: Only good things happen.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: So I always want to condense time for others.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: If it took me 10 years for me and I wanted to take it in three, right.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: So that's a lot of things that I do, but what makes me do it is that I have definitely age has given me wisdom to understand that there are very few things that are permanent and that, generally speaking, people are doing their best and that they are going to help you.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: If they don't help you, it's because at that time they can't, or they are too busy or too engaged in something else, or whatever.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: It's not.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: I've learned not to take it personally.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: I've learned that they are doing really their best, and a lot has to do with my coaching school.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Of course, coaching changes you as well, but I think that it just I have this feeling that nothing bad is going to happen, it's going to work out and that if I go out and connect with people, even if it's one conversation, I'm going to gain something out of that.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: Nothing is there to lose, nothing is going to gain something out of that.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: Sure, nothing is there to lose.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Nothing is going to.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: No one is going.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: What is the worst that can happen?
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: So I think that keeps me moving and I want other people to start thinking and hearing these ideas so they can start doing that extra thing, taking that extra risk, taking that, and do it Really.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: There are very few things that are permanent and when we're being authentic and where we are connecting, we're just connecting.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: Hey, I'm knocking the door.
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: Are you going to open the door?
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Fine, if not, okay, I'll try again another day, but it is.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: I understand sometimes we have a lot of fears of rejection, but once you start doing it, you develop the habit and you're like hey, you know what I think also, you change your attitude.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: Also, it's like nothing, but it's going to happen.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: They might say no, but if you say no, okay, what next?
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I mean Next exactly?
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: I did a very good job explaining, but I think it's this combination of like why not what's?
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: the best that can happen.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think you did do a great job because it is a mindset, I mean the two things that I, the little simple frameworks that I use for this kind of situation, because people say, like my mom, she's, like you're crazy, like the things that you do and the things that you say.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: You put it all out there, like yeah, you know it'll be fine.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: So two things is this one failure is not fatal.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: If I fail, I ain't going to die.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: I'll be like, I'm going to learn from it.
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: The other thing is I get to choose between rejection or regret.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: I will take rejection all day, every day, because regretting always come for me, always come from not taking the step or making the ask.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: Rejection next.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Who do I talk to next?
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: You don't like me?
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: Good, who's next?
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a gradual process because, not because I reach out to you and to Colleen and to Megan and to Jennifer I mean, I reach out to Jen what I'm like that day, I think I'm going to be in Dallas tomorrow, can I see you?
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Things like that and so I'm going up in that.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Let's do it.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Let's do it Connect.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: And there's some other areas where I'm like, no, I don't.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's not a straight line and not everything moves at the same rhythm.
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: Don't feel like, hey, but I can't talk to Jennifer Lacey out of the blue, but oh my God, I cannot do a webinar, for example, right?
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: So don't expect everything to move at the same rhythm, in the same direction.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: So we have to understand that there's two steps ahead and maybe one step to the side, one step behind, and so all these things, and I want especially these young people to understand that.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: So don't be scared.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: If there are some areas when we don't feel because I feel them as well right, but I think there's a lot more to lose if not doing it than in doing.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yeah.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: Just give it a shot.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: You'll get better on the next one.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: And I think you made a super important point.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: It's not all things move at the same rate.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: It's okay to be great at one thing and not great at the other thing.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: It's okay to be sprinting on one thing and then still thinking about the other.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Give yourself some grace, it's going to be okay.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: So if people want to work with you, where do we send them, dr Alejandra?
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: We send them to.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn and I have my website.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: So one of the my yeah, my website, and we can put it there later.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: So, but LinkedIn and my website are my two, the two places where they can find me.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I'm there and I always respond to people.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: I always respond to people.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: I have people like, hey, I'm going to be there, I need to talk to you.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: I haven't seen you in three years.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Text me.
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: Here's my number, text me and I'm like come on, but I'm always there I love to work with.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: I'm very interested in construction.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: Again, it's something that is also kind of a newish side for me.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: I'm very interested, I love to work with people who work in real projects, I think.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: So that's the way I see it.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: So I'm open for any kind of conversation.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: Please reach out Good, good, okay.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: So we'll make sure we have that information in the show notes.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: Y'all need to reach out to Dr Alejandra For the very least to say I know a doctor, I have a doctor in my team.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm doing For the Grand Slam final question Okay.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: Slam, final question, okay.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: So I love, totally appreciate, like your adventurous spirit, the cultures and careers and industries that you've learned to adapt into quickly, and the connections that you've made with people in terms of helping them understand that they're not defective.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: And so the little that I know about you suggest to me that what you're going to answer, what your answer is going to be, is going to be pretty damn profound.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: And so here's the question what is the promise you are intended to be?
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: I want to.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: The promise that I'm intended to be is to help more and more people develop those people skills that we need in this world, Because if not, if we don't have them, it's a very hard world to live in.
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: So I want to contribute to that.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: There's a little bit of thing about me that I was never taught directly.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: I had to learn on my own that I was never taught directly, had to learn on my own.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: And if I can help other people learn those so they can have better interactions in the workplace and there's a lot of success and a lot of satisfaction that they're going to feel.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: So if I can contribute to that, that would be very cool.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: So you're already doing it, you're just going to do more of it.
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: I'm doing more.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, there is a lot of time, a lot of things that I have to do, so still, yes, there's a lot about also working across countries, like really work across countries, be able to go and do some of this in Mexico, and so that's also another big thing that I want to keep in mind.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, definitely, and I think the promise I mean the more I think about that as I'm talking, it's like just enlighten people, give them the knowledge, the how, help them see.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: It's very frustrating when you kind of understand there's something there but you cannot see Something.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I cannot see, like I cannot really get it.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: It's not working, something is not right and there's a lot of heaviness in that, and I want to remove that heaviness so they can understand hey, we can do this, there's skills that I can learn.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love that.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: Oh my, you're a guide, a light enabling people, supporting people, catapulting people into a higher quality of life Amazing.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: Did you have fun?
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: I had a great time.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: I had a great time, I had a great time and I love chatting and talking to people.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: So thank you, jesse, for having me, and it's been a pleasure to get to know you better and I learned a lot from you.
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: A lot from you and thank you for opening your spaces for me.
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: It's been a pleasure, thank you.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank you for sticking it out all the way to the end.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: I know you got a whole lot of stuff going on and, in appreciation for the gift of time that you have given this episode, I want to offer you a free PDF of my book Becoming the Promise You're Intended to Be.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: The link for that bad boy is down in the show notes.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Hit it.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: You don't even have to give me your email address.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: There's a link in there.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: You just click that and you can download the PDF.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: And if you share it with somebody that you know who might feel stuck or be caught up in self-destructive behaviors, that would be the ultimate you sharing.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: That increases the likelihood that it's going to help one more person.
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: And if it does help one more person, then you're contributing to me becoming the promise I am intended to be Be kind to yourself, be cool, and we'll talk at you next time.