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268. Your Solopreneur Business Isn’t Broken, But Your Mindset Might Be · The Life-First Solopreneur

• 0:00
  Carly Ries: What if the biggest thing holding your business back wasn't your strategy, your pricing, or your marketing, but your mindset? In this episode of the Aspiring Solopreneur, Joe and I sit down with mindset expert, Lori Rogers, to unpack why so many high achieving solopreneurs stay stuck in hustle, overwhelm, and self doubt, even when things are going fine. Lori shares the science behind optimism, why your beliefs quietly shape your results, and the small daily practices that helped her increase sales by over 240% while creating more ease, calm, and resilience in her life and business. You'll learn how to identify hidden mindset blocks, the difference between real positivity and toxic positivity, how to stay consistent with habits that actually move the needle, and why joy isn't the reward for success, it's the pathway to it. If you've ever thought I'm doing everything right, so why doesn't it feel better than this?
• 0:53
  This conversation is for you. You're listening to the Aspiring Solopreneur, the podcast for anyone on the solo business journey, whether you're just toying with the idea, taking your first bold step, or have been running your own show for years and want to keep growing, refining, and thriving. I'm Carly Ries, and along with my cohost, Joe Rando, we're your guides through the crazy but awesome world of being a company of one. As part of LifeStarr, a digital hub dedicated to all things solopreneurship, we help people design businesses that align with their life's ambitions so they can work to live, not live to work. If you're looking for a get rich quick scheme, this is not the place for you.
• 1:32
  But if you want real world insights from industry experts, lessons from the successes and stumbles of fellow solopreneurs, and practical strategies for building and sustaining a business you love, you're in the right spot. Because flying so long business doesn't mean you're alone. No matter where you are in your journey, we've got your back. Joe, you have another person in your neck of the woods, and I'm still stranded out here in the mountains, in the Rockies by myself. You're just, you're taking everybody.
• 2:01
  Joe Rando: Yes.
• 2:02
  It's a cool area. We like it here.
• 2:06
  Lori Rogers: Rockies sound pretty cool.
• 2:07
  Joe Rando: They are pretty cool too. They're pretty cool. Though they don't have snow in wintertime.
• 2:11
  Carly Ries: Oh, yeah. We're gonna be skiing on slush this weekend. We'll see how that goes. Lori, welcome to the show. We are so happy. Before we dive into everything we're gonna talk about today, we have a question that we have an icebreaker question that we ask all of our guests. And what I wanna ask you is, what do you wish you'd known before becoming a solopreneur?
• 2:33
  Lori Rogers: I wish I knew that your mindset is part of your team. That it's paramount, it's a strategy, it's a way of being. As opposed to working fifteen hours a day and striving and working so hard and being so diligent and wah wah wah. But that's the way I was brought up. So I wish I had known that ease and peace and optimism and joy are part of your team.
• 3:01
  And I didn't
• 3:03
  Carly Ries: Lori, way to tee up the topic for today. It's almost like you should have created a business around MindSet or something. Well listeners, spoiler alert, we're going to be talking about mindset today. So let's get right into it. What are some of the most common mindset blocks you see in high achieving people?
• 3:21
  And why exactly do they get stuck there?
• 3:25
  Lori Rogers: Well, I'll take the second question first. I think it's our beliefs that we grew up with. And it's no fault of our parents or our teachers or society, but it's sort of like the general rule. You work so hard to get good grades, you know, good grade on that test, get into the college that you want to. You know, you gotta work hard to get that job.
• 3:47
  Oh, you gotta work hard to be a broadcaster. You have to work hard to have a podcast. So it was innate in me, and I see that in other people, not of just my generation, but other generations as well. I'm older than you all.
• 4:01
  Joe Rando: I Beg to differ. But anyway.
• 4:06
  Lori Rogers: So I see that as the general theme, and people want to know how do I find more balance which I kinda tell them, what do you mean balance? Thirty, seventy, sixty, forty? What is your definition of balance? They wanna find more peace and calm, less overwhelm, less burnout in most situations.
• 4:31
  Carly Ries: Yeah. So what prevents them from actually going through like, might have these beliefs, but what blocks them from getting to that place?
• 4:42
  Lori Rogers: They don't know that they can change them. They don't know that they can change them. That your brain is just, okay, it's this beautiful instrument in your head, but you have the power, a superpower I call it, to change the belief system in your brain. And people don't know. you know, when you think something often enough, you say it often enough, it becomes a belief in your world, it becomes a belief in your mindset and in your subconscious. people don't know that they can change that and they can. You give your mind and your brain the information, it doesn't come from anywhere else but you tell it. So you're telling your subconscious a different story, a different routine, a different way of being, especially around business.
• 5:29
  Joe Rando: So we're thinking about thinking here, which is really meta.
• 5:32
  Carly Ries: Your career has been based around mindset now, and you've come up with a methodology, a results based methodology that you call positive activity. Can you explain what that is? And maybe just give a few examples for our listeners of small daily activities that can lead to this change that so many people don't think they can make?
• 5:49
  Lori Rogers: Sure. I created, we created, Neil and I work it together because he does more business process presentations. I do more mindset shifting, getting yourself ready to start that new business. So the way it came about was once I learned that there are free, simple activities that I could do in my home, right here in the morning, during the day. I could think a different way and they're scientifically based to increase your productivity, increase by 37% on average your sales, make you more resilient to illness, have better teams working around you, you have better jobs, a higher income based on these activities that I learned that raise your optimism and your joy level.
• 6:43
  I had no idea. I didn't even I can tell you the whole story of how I figured this out and how I found this stuff. But once I learned that these activities were scientifically backed and then had my list of I said, Holy mackerel. I need to tell everyone I know this. I need to teach this to sales teams.
• 7:03
  And I started teaching it to you know, back in the day, there were a lot of home businesses, and by that I mean women, mainly women that sold jewelry or home goods or like a Tupperware but more high end than that. I don't know how to explain. I don't even know if it still goes on today. But it was a big deal in the nineties and the early two thousands. So I had friends that did this and I would go to their homes, sit with their sales teams because you always had a team of women, mainly women that worked with you.
• 7:36
  And I explained them these concepts of well, you have a sales goal. Well, I can show you how to get your mind more positive and optimistic because research shows a more positive and optimistic mind sells on average 37% more, and you're 31% more productive. So I wanted to teach these things. I was so passionate about it. And then it just evolved into this this system, and I teach the activities.
• 8:06
  I teach about Perspective, I teach about mindset, I teach about how you have the happiness equation wrong. Do you want me to explain that? I can.
• 8:15
  Carly Ries: Great. Yes, I would love you to.
• 8:17
  Lori Rogers: So most people think, and I did too, that, once I reach a goal, I'm gonna be really happy. Once I, get that car I want, I'm gonna be happy. Once I get into that college or that relationship or that job or that income level, then I'm gonna be happy. And you might be for a week, a day or two or you know, a few months, whatever the case may be.
• 8:43
  But then you're setting your brain on this cognitive like thing that it thinks, okay, once she gets that, then I'm going to be happy. But the brain works in the opposite way. So we've gotta turn it on its head. And the brain wants joy and optimism and peace and calm. And then the successes and the goals and the desires and the wants can easily more easily come to you.
• 9:09
  Joe Rando: Are you saying that and I think this is what you're saying that if I have this goal to have this car, specific car, and I get the car and I'm like, oh, I got the car. Well, I drive the car for a month. Now it's the car. It just becomes the new baseline.
• 9:24
  Is that what you're saying?
• 9:25
  Lori Rogers: Yes.
• 9:26
  Joe Rando: Okay. Yep. I agree.
• 9:29
  Carly Ries: In our society, people want more and more and more. And I mean, it's a huge problem.
• 9:34
  Lori Rogers: I don't think there's anything with wanting more in your life. I mean, I'm a capitalist too like I like things like yes, there's nothing wrong with wanting more. I think it's the idea that I don't have to have it to be joyful and optimistic and happy. Sure. You know, it's not the end all for my way of being anymore.
• 10:00
  Joe Rando: Makes a lot of sense. Because it's a treadmill. Right? It's just never ends.
• 10:07
  Carly Ries: Right.
• 10:07
  Joe Rando: If you're seeking joy through through stuff.
• 10:11
  Carly Ries: Well, in terms of mindset shift, well, I wanna hear your personal story really quick because you experienced exponential growth after implementing positive activity about, fifteen years ago now. So I mean, you kind of already answered this, but what shifted first? Your business, your thinking, or your habits? Tell us the whole story.
• 10:32
  Lori Rogers: It was my thinking. And I'll tell you this. Do you want the whole drag out story? I'll give it
• 10:38
  Carly Ries: I think it's helpful for listeners to hear what other people went through for these breakthroughs.
• 10:42
  Lori Rogers: We've been in business for a long time. We have a swag business. It's called Rogers Marketing, and we do all kinds of swag for corporations, corporate stores, awards, the whole thing. And back in 2008, 2009, 2010, I think it lasted three or four years, there was a recession in our country. And, Carly, you may not remember. You're kinda young.
• 11:00
  Carly Ries: Was before I graduated from college.
• 11:02
  Joe Rando: Oh, I remember.
• 11:06
  Lori Rogers: Okay. So, I was like, oh, now I kinda set up the theme. I mean, I was a happy person, but I always had this underling, this underwire of worrywartness, like I was a worrywart. So I was like, oh my gosh. So when you're an entrepreneur and your sales pay the bills, and this was very drastic downturn where, you know, orders were cancelled, quotes were not fulfilled, clients were losing their jobs and getting laid off. it was a tough time and it's like, oh boy, what are we going to do? And I was worried and saying things like, oh, why didn't I just be a teacher? I could have just been a teacher, had normal job. Why did I want to do this? Why am I working for myself, you know, oh my god, my suppliers, how am I going to pay them? my customers don't care about me? Like all these horrible ways of thinking. At the same time, my daughter who was a division one athlete was home dealing with post concussion syndrome. In a room, in the dark room, no phone, no TV, no computer, no nothing. She couldn't read, couldn't drive, the whole thing.
• 12:19
  So seeing her as this like superstar athlete to in a corner in her room was quite devastating to us and to my stress level and my worry level. and then also at the same time, it was like a triple threat. We have a son, a non speaking autistic son is in between Cam and Amanda, and he was transitioning from high school to the adult world, which back then was semi abyss and we didn't know how we were going to keep him engaged every day, who was going to work with him, where he was going to go every day. So that was worry, fear, doubt, worry, fear, doubt. And you know, you keep it together as best you can and you do what you have to do, but you don't feel very good.
• 13:05
  You know, you're just a mess and you're whatever. I hate to even think about it. I can't even really go back to those emotions so much anymore. A little bit, but not that deep. And my daughter asked me to drive her.
• 13:17
  She couldn't drive. She asked me to drive her to a wellness fair. I was like, okay, well what's a wellness fair? But sure, let's go. It was the following weekend.
• 13:25
  So we get in the car, we go, and it's in Nashua, New Hampshire at this convention center, and we walk around and there are different tables and booths and presenters about your beliefs are just the thoughts you keep thinking. So why are you thinking these terrible things that become your beliefs? You have the power to change your mindset. You're worthy of all that you want. You are worthy of everything that you want, but you're just going about it the wrong way.
• 13:53
  And I went to many lectures and presentations, I bought some books and I thought, oh man, why did I not know this? How come I didn't know this? You know, and I was very black and white. I am black and white. I have a master's degree in math for crying out loud.
• 14:08
  So it's like it's two plus two is four. So when I was learning all these sort of mindset shifting thought provoking concepts, I was very skeptical. I'm like, what are they talking about? So I had to read. I had to study it.
• 14:21
  I had to really experience it myself. And then one day I just was at a breaking point is I don't wanna feel this way anymore. And I wanna change. And I'm gonna start doing these activities. And the first thing that I did was the I think you asked me thoughts, habits.
• 14:43
  What was the other one? I forgot.
• 14:44
  Carly Ries: I'm trying to think. Oh, your business, your thinking, or your habits.
• 14:49
  Lori Rogers: Okay. Was the thinking. So it was the thinking. So where I started to do, I had a big thing of post it notes on my desk. And let's say, Ugh, this is going be the worst day.
• 14:59
  Susie's never going to place this order. I would take a post it note and I would say, My clients are ordering from me. And I would stick it up on there. So anytime I would have a negative thought, I would flip it on its head and write the opposite. As much as my ego would believe, right?
• 15:17
  And I'd stick it up on the wall. And I kept doing that and doing that and doing that. And things like, there's plenty for everyone including me. You know, there was that whole scarcity thing. There are so many, suppliers and who's going to order from me.
• 15:33
  And there's plenty for everyone including me. So many odds, I just flipped all these thoughts on its head and and just started thinking a different way. So the more you think those things, the more you say them, that's what gets set into your subconscious and become your new beliefs. I had no idea about that.
• 15:55
  Carly Ries: And that's when you had your breakthrough. Because what happened in 2011 where you just kinda skyrocketed?
• 16:00
  Lori Rogers: So I started doing these things in like 2011, 2012. I wouldn't say it skyrocketed. I would say over time. Over time.
• 16:11
  So it wasn't just about shifting my beliefs and my thoughts and my words. It was really doing a daily appreciation practice, conscious recall practice, meditation, I call it listening to my breath for five minutes, nobody wants to meditate. you know, 30 minutes of movement each day, and conscious acts of kindness. Those are the five things that were scientifically researched to raise your optimism and raise your joy, and then they're the ones that showed that you have all these benefits in your life. So I said, okay.
• 16:45
  I'm tacking on to this stuff. Because it was science based. Like, I needed that, I guess, to sort of, push me over the edge. So anyway, little by little, month by month, year by year, I think it was after, like, six or seven years, I just sat back and I looked back. And my sales had increased over 240% from, 2011 to where I was in 2017 I can't remember exact dates.
• 17:15
  And I thought, oh my gosh. That's when I realized like this is really working. But it wasn't just about the money or the sales, but it was the ease and the flow of every day. And not going in the ditch every time a challenge comes up because they do. You're self employed or you have a small business.
• 17:38
  Challenges come up every day. Issues, questions, whatever. And it was how I was able to maybe go down a few notches because something annoys you, but you've got to build up the resilience to come back. I call it the happiness level. So if you start your happiness level up higher and then you go down a few notches in the day, you've got that resilience to come back up.
• 18:03
  So back in 2011, I was probably kinda down here in the ditch and wasn't fun. So yeah, that's what it was all about. It's baby steps. It's little by little. And before you know it, things start to change.
• 18:19
  Carly Ries: So let me ask you this. Let's say people are like, yeah, totally believe in mindset. Like everything you're saying, and I've been doing it and I have seen good results, but I haven't seen great results. Like they're I'm running my own business. I'm making a living.
• 18:35
  But what do I need to do to take it to that next level to really get where I want to be? What little tweaks do people have to make if they think they have a good mindset, but they're just still not right there?
• 18:47
  Lori Rogers: Well, I think it's individual for each person, and I would have to sit with them, really learn what they're doing. So for instance, I tell people, I'll give you an instance of a couple of people I've worked with. I stopped watching the news. You have to be informed but not indulged and not inundated. Okay?
• 19:08
  So you can be informed, get what you need, then move on. So stop watching the news because all of that negativity sits back here in your brain and in your mind and in your subconscious mind. I have my vision board in front of me so I see positive things as much as possible. In the morning, this is what happens too in the morning. Your brain goes back to the negative thoughts you were thinking the day before.
• 19:33
  It's just the way it works. It's the way our ego works because it wants to keep us safe and sound and alive, and that's fine if there's a bus roaring down the street and it scares us to jump out of the way, but it's not fine if it's fearing us that we have 50 emails in our inbox, or phone calls we haven't returned or an appointment that we're gonna be late for. Those little things don't need to stress us out, but our ego does that to us. So what we're trying to do here is just bring more peace and calm and the activities help to do that. So I'd have to know what they're doing and where have they shifted their perspective.
• 20:16
  And let me put it this way. This is another thing I see. 10% of your long term happiness is predicted by your tangibles around you. Your home, your car, your income, how much is in your bank account, you know, that kind of thing. But 90% of your long term happiness is how you perceive the world and how you perceive what's going on around you.
• 20:41
  So is something happening for you or to you? Right? So when a downturn happens or a challenge comes up, is that person thinking, Ugh, this is never gonna work out. This is ridiculous. Or, you know, you can go back down to the ditch.
• 20:56
  Or do you see it, okay, it's a challenge. I will figure this out. And by the way, when you have a more optimistic and joyful brain, you're more open to the ideas to flow into your brain to figure things out. So you can find answers to challenges easier when your brain is just more peaceful and calm and optimistic. That's also been studied.
• 21:21
  So you'll find the answers to those challenges. for instance, when COVID happened, and we're all a mess, and I was too for three or four weeks, what's gonna happen? You know, was kind of like a double blind placebo for me because I was like, oh wait a minute, I felt this before, This worry and this stress and this fear. I felt this before.
• 21:41
  Now, after a few weeks, I sat back and said, okay, but here I go. I have time to clean out my marketing profile. I have time to clean out my closet. I have time to email everyone and get their home addresses so that I can mail them swag and information to their homes. I've got time with my family here.
• 21:59
  I don't have to travel like a maniac for the holidays this season. I shifted my perspective on how things were happening. It's not like I'm shoving it in the sand and this isn't happening. Yes, it is. And I know there are challenges out there, but I'm choosing to look at it in a different way.
• 22:18
  So I'd want to know what exactly each person is doing each day, their perspective, what activities they're doing. Are they feeling the emotion of having what they want before it is with them. So let's say the person you're talking about wants to sell $20,000 this month or $50,000 in their in their store this month. And that's their goal. They may not get there right now today or tomorrow, but can they get to the emotion of having that?
• 22:51
  Like, why do we want that anyway? We want that because it's gonna make us feel better. So go to that feeling. Go to that feeling. Because that you can do right now or within the next hour, right? go to the feeling. Oh god, that's gonna feel so good. I can't wait. This new sale is gonna be awesome. My customer is gonna be so happy.
• 23:12
  Oh, it's gonna feel so good. You just go to the feeling of it as much as you can. So there's each person is different and I have to really would have to review what they're doing and add a little tweaks and twines and things like that.
• 23:26
  Carly Ries: How do you differ differentiate between, real positivity that you're talking about, maybe toxic positivity? Because you were saying don't listen to the news when COVID was happening. I wasn't ignorant to it, but I also didn't. I flipped the script. But I imagine some people might even take it too far. when does it become a problem to be too positive instead
• 23:50
  Lori Rogers: It's interesting you asked that question. I never even heard the term toxic positivity until about six, seven months ago. I didn't even know that was a thing. I don't even know anyone that is that way, honestly. So I don't know how common that even is.
• 24:07
  But what I say and believe me, I've been called Pollyanna. And I said, oh, no, no, no. No. I do not have my head in the sand. For crying out loud, I have a son with autism that doesn't speak. I understand there's stuff going on. There's illness. There's sickness. There's war. There's death.
• 24:25
  There's this. There's that. I get that. I choose to be over here because, and this is why, and this is gonna get a little spiritual on you, but I'm gonna go there anyway. Because my belief is in order for me to help the people in my community, in my family, in the world, it's not to be down in the ditch with them, but to be higher up and spread compassion and joy and love anyway .
• 24:57
  Because my belief is that we're all connected energetically that way. So it doesn't help anyone in the ditch for me to be there with them. My role is to understand and have empathy, but be higher up anyway.
• 25:15
  Carly Ries: Makes sense.
• 25:16
  Well, so Lori, for people that are like, yes, I'm so on board with this. I want to be positive. I want to lead with my beliefs and positivity and optimism. But they have an issue with consistency. Like, let's say you were saying to listen to your breath every morning to get the exercise, and they start implementing it, they fall off the wagon.
• 25:36
  Do you have any tips for people that want to stay consistent with these practices?
• 25:39
  Lori Rogers: Oh my gosh. I totally get it. I was the same way. And believe me, I had three kids at home at the time that I started doing this. One, you know, my middle son with autism, Amanda in the bedroom, and Cam was in high school. I don't even know. Poor Cam. He just, he's fun. We just let him do what he needs to in high school. So I know it's okay.
• 26:03
  Here's what I'm gonna tell you. The research has shown that if you do something for twenty one days in a row, you have a higher chance of it becoming a habit. It's like brushing your teeth. You wouldn't even move through the day without, you know, in the morning brushing your teeth. So think of it like that and give yourself some grace that if you're gonna commit fifteen minutes of time to yourself in the morning.
• 26:26
  Most of my activities get done in the morning. So start simple, start easy, give yourself some grace, and so what? So you forget to do your appreciation practice today. Fine. Do it tonight when you get into bed or do it tomorrow.
• 26:40
  You just put them in your phone so you remember what you want to appreciate and then write it down tomorrow. You know, it's okay. We all have to just give each other a break and give yourself a break. Like treat yourself the way you would treat a little two year old. You wouldn't, yell at a two year old because she didn't do her exercises today, you know, I mean you just wouldn't.
• 27:01
  So treat yourself the same way, . Now I can't start my day without doing it. And if I do, I don't feel right. But I have to say the piece about listening to your breath, I try to do it for five to ten minutes every morning.
• 27:19
  When I first started, I could barely get through thirty seconds. I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. And then each day I would just add maybe another ten seconds to the process. But I think where people get tripped up with that is we think we can stop our beautiful minds from thinking, and we can't.
• 27:40
  That's its role, right? That's its job. We don't want to do that. But what we do want to do in those five minutes is go back and focus on the breath. Go back and focus on the breath and say to those sweet little thoughts.
• 27:53
  Thank you. Thanks to you for coming in and reminding me of a podcast interview today, but I don't need to think about you right now so I'm going to go put you over here treat it like a little baby. I'm gonna go put you over here in the crib. So you hang out there for the next four minutes, and I'm gonna go back and listen to my breath. It teaches your brain to get over the ADD that we have and how our brain is focusing on five, six, seven things at once every day, and is teaching our brain just to focus on one thing.
• 28:23
  So I hope they do it in schools because I really believe children take to it so quickly and easily. I don't know but that would be kind of cool.
• 28:32
  Carly Ries: It's interesting. There's an organization in the city that I live in called the Mindfulness Project, and they're trying to get into schools not trying. They're getting into schools to teach kids mindfulness and being present. And there are educators who are running this. I love it. And it's great. So yeah. So they're starting to, at least in my neck of the woods. Well, Lori, this has been so helpful, and I think the kick in the pants that a lot of people need for that positive boost of energy. I hope that listeners will find success using your methodology which I think they will. So speaking of success, we have to ask what is your favorite quote about success?
• 29:12
  Lori Rogers: My favorite quote is, I wrote it down because I thought, oh, I just love this. It's kind of old school, but whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
• 29:26
  Carly Ries: Love it. That is one of our favorites as well. Well, thank you so so much for coming on the show today. If people wanna find you and learn more, where can they find you online?
• 29:35
  Lori Rogers: So positiveactivity.net is our website, and all of our information and connections and emails and everything is on there. We answer every email personally. We don't have a robot or AI robot or anything. We actually want to talk to people and engage with people. So thank you.
• 29:53
  Carly Ries: I love it.
• 29:53
  Lori Rogers: Downloads are there. So we have some free downloads that list the positive activities that I do and why you would do them. So people wanna know why do I wanna do an appreciation practice and explains why. So they can start there.
• 30:12
  Carly Ries: great. awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on this show. And listeners, thank you so much for tuning in. As always, please leave that five star review.
• 30:21
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• 30:43
  So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures? At LifeStarr, we're creating a one person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.