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Transcript

S4 E7 - Are You Funnier than AI??? · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Stephen Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
0:06
SPEAKER_02: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
0:11
SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:16
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Stephen Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_02: Well, hey Johnny, thanks for bringing us into the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: And uh Jeff, great to be back.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: How's it going?
0:29
SPEAKER_00: It's going great.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: We always talk about weather, and but you know, the best weather was actually when we were in Mexico.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we were thinking about going to Mexico originally before we got deported during Christmas, between Christmas and New Year's, but I don't think we're gonna do that this year because we've been there done that.
0:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it brings brings back a lot of memories.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, and and if Kathy didn't want to go before, I don't think she's gonna want to go this time too.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: What about you?
0:55
SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you, it's just been really, really hectic here.
0:57
SPEAKER_02: You know, this time of the year always is a little hectic, but it's just been really, really busy.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: I'm looking forward to just doing nothing.
1:05
SPEAKER_02: Now, granted, we did some nothing when we were in Mexico, but it wasn't, you know, when you're in captivity, doing nothing isn't relaxing, you know, it's not like a vacation.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: You're right.
1:15
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
1:16
SPEAKER_02: So I'm looking forward to just doing nothing and not being incarcerated, you know.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: Spent a little time with the family here.
1:23
SPEAKER_02: I've been really working hard on the show.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: Actually, speaking of working on the show, gotta tell you, I did have something happen to me the other day that you might, you and the audience both might find interesting.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: Cool.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: Well, what what happened?
1:35
SPEAKER_02: I was working late in the studio.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: Coming, I was leaving the studio, coming home.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: I stopped at the 7-Eleven, oh, thank heaven.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: You know, because my mom, my mom asked me to pick up her medicine, as she calls it.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Uh I got slurpee there once.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, and then and bought something to drink too.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: It's a it's that kind of place.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, yeah, she calls it her medicine.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: It's really it's a special 180-proof vodka.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's only it's only available at that 1711 and only when Gino is working.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: It's all all cash under the counter, you know, and so I I had to go, right?
2:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm in the checkout line, and there's this woman at the front of the line, and there's this guy between me and the woman, there's this drunk guy standing right behind her.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: And you know how 7-Eleven can be late at night, right?
2:23
SPEAKER_02: There's a drunk guy standing there, right?
2:25
SPEAKER_02: And you know how sometimes when you're standing in the checkout line, you look at what people are buying, and you kind of think, oh, wonder what that's for.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: What you know, whatever they're gonna do, right?
2:34
SPEAKER_02: You know, well, this woman had a really interesting assortment of stuff.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: She had a bottle of wine, cub of ice cream, some scented candles, and a plunger.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: Speaking of wine, I gotta tell you, the drunk with giving off that smell, you know, the smell of somebody who's drank cheap wine, kind of smells like burnt cherry-flavored urine, for want of a better description.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: I you know that's pretty graphic.
2:59
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do, but I know exactly what you're doing.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, you know what I'm talking about.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: So I mean she obviously smells this.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think I can I think I'm still smelling it, in fact.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: So she turns and looks at the drunk guy, drunk guy's staring at her, right?
3:11
SPEAKER_02: And so she kind of smiles.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: And I I don't know if she did this on purpose, but you know, it's 7-Eleven, right?
3:17
SPEAKER_02: You know, they have this three-pack of condoms right next to the register.
3:20
SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, late night 7-Eleven, right?
3:23
SPEAKER_02: So she grabs the three-pack of condoms and you know, throws it on the belt.
3:27
SPEAKER_02: So the drunk looks at these items, like I gotta admit, I was doing too.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Looks back at her, looks at the items, looks back at her, and then he says, Lady, you're single, aren't you?
3:38
SPEAKER_02: I mean, he's drunk, he could barely talk, right?
3:41
SPEAKER_02: This woman smiles and she didn't say quiet piggy, which I thought she might, but but she said, Well, yeah, I am, but how did you know?
3:51
SPEAKER_02: So the drunk just looks through and says, 'Cause you're fucking ugly.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know why I laughed at that, because it it it it it it surprised me.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: I guess that's what I would say, you know, but I just didn't see it coming.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't sound like something that we would have on our show, something that that either of us would say.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: So are are you trying out some new material?
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Because yeah, it's it's not bad.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Well, I I gotta tell you, okay.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: I need to I need to come clean.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, you know how we start the show typically with a a story or a joke or something, and then kind of go into it before we bring on guests or you know talk about other stuff.
4:32
SPEAKER_02: Well, this was really a crazy, crazy week.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: And I I never I was supposed to write the joke, and I I didn't have time to write the joke.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: So I started thinking, you know, we've seen how AI can do anything.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: We were even replicated, if that's the right word, as AI Steve and AI Jeff.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: So I thought, well, hmm, what if I use AI to write the joke?
4:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe it wasn't kind of what we typically would do on here, you know.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: Maybe AI needs to work on it a little bit.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't a disaster, but it it I'm not sure it was up to the show standards that that we have set, and sounds like that woman wasn't up to our standards either.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: No, see, okay, maybe we could make it funnier, you know, maybe an AI and a human collab, if you will.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: You're you're right, though.
5:20
SPEAKER_02: It's really not our kind of joke.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: We're more, I don't know, obscene but friendly.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, you know what I'm saying?
5:27
SPEAKER_02: It was real, I gotta tell you, it was really easy to do though.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: All I had to do was just ask AI to listen to all of our episodes and form jokes in our pattern, and sure spit this joke out in like 10 seconds.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: Maybe like another old joke, uh, it was my delivery.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe if AI Steve had told the joke, it might have been funnier.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: I you know, and I would criticize you for you know kind of cheating by using AI, but I have to be honest, you know, I used AI Jeff as well to help uh a couple weeks ago, so my hands aren't clean either.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: We just are all been sort of out of sorts ever since we came back from Mexico and a lot of practice, you know.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: So I I asked AI Jeff to give us give me some help and you know, give me some pointers on how to be funny.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: And I haven't had a chance to try them out yet, but I'm looking forward to it, and I think Kathy is too.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, yeah.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: Well, she missed that whole all our Mexican comedy, so you know.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: She did.
6:31
SPEAKER_02: She's way behind on this, yeah.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but as far as our comedy on the show, I agree.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: I think at the end of the day, we are much funnier than any AIs out there, whether they're AI Steve, AI Jeff, AI Johnny.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't think there's any comparison.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it's the way you know we deliver the lines or the writing, but as originals, I just I just think we're fresher and I think it's more interesting, and they just come off as kind of like fake imitations.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: And you know, maybe I'm too close to this.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: What do you think, Johnny?
7:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, as far as pointers, Steve's mom has my pointer.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: That joke was kind of stupid, but then again, you two are too.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: You should ask the audience.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: I may be too close to this as well, especially since I just got back and replaced AI Johnny on the show.
7:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, that's an interesting question.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe we should test it out and see what people think.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: I actually had AI create not only the joke, but our voices and personalities as well, just to match us, you know, to be virtual us.
7:44
SPEAKER_02: So what what about this, Jeff?
7:46
SPEAKER_02: Maybe, maybe we have a contest.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: We see who's funnier, AI Steve and Jeff or us, the original Steve and Jeff.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: Are we funnier than AI?
7:54
SPEAKER_02: I guess is the question.
7:55
SPEAKER_02: Now, I'm just kind of spitballing here because we're in we're in uncharted territory with this, but you know, with the help of AI, maybe each of us creates and performs a joke.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: Maybe we do like best of five, you know, and we do five jokes, and we we do a head-to-head, and Johnny, you can decide who's funnier.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: That is, if you are the real Johnny.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: Well, that sounds like a good idea, and yeah, I'm very real.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: Just ask your mom, Steve.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: I probably should ask.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: If AI, Steve, and Jeff win and take over the show, will I still get played?
8:32
SPEAKER_00: I think that we can safely say that you'll make just as much money, whether it's AI, Steve, and AI, Jeff, as as you do from us.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: So I wouldn't worry about it.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: Right then.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: So I should give you five categories, and you can alternate telling your jokes, right?
8:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I I know this is without much warning, but you guys have been doing this stuff for like 70 years, so I'm sure you won't have any problem coming up with something at your usual level.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: Okay, should I should I go first, Jeff?
9:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, maybe.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: Who knows?
9:07
SPEAKER_02: Maybe one of the categories will be the Holocaust, and you can we'll tag team.
9:11
SPEAKER_02: You can go on that one.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: I I'm kind of excited to see how this turns out, although I think we know at the end we're gonna be the winners, but yeah, why don't you go first?
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Of course, of course.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, then here's the first category.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: Polish jokes says this is your show.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: Let's start with real Steve and Jeff.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, here goes.
9:31
SPEAKER_02: So two Polish guys live in the same building in identical apartments.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: So the first guy visits the second one, and he sees the second guy's just painted his apartment, it looks great.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: So he says, This looks amazing.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: First guy says, Yes, I uh maybe I want to do this for my apartment.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: How many cans of paint did you buy?
9:50
SPEAKER_02: So the second guy says that he bought seven.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, next day, first guy drives to the store, buys seven cans of paint, starts painting his his apartment.
9:59
SPEAKER_02: You know, he wants it to look like the other one, right?
10:01
SPEAKER_02: So after a few hours, he finishes the whole thing, but he realizes he only used three cans of paint.
10:07
SPEAKER_02: So he goes back to the second guy's apartment, he says, Hey man, I I just finished painting my whole place in one afternoon, two coats, but I've only used three cans of paint, and I have four left.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: So second guy said, Yeah, me too.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I think that's hilarious.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, you fucking AI asshole robot carrot top wannabes, you know.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: I think I think we did our best right there, don't you think, Steve?
10:35
SPEAKER_02: I'm AI, Steve, but no problem.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: And thank you for the compliment.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: Okay, a guy walks into a bar and says he has a great Polish joke that he wants to tell.
10:46
SPEAKER_02: The bartender stops him and says, I gotta tell you, I'm Polish.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: You see that guy over there?
10:52
SPEAKER_02: He's the owner of this bar.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: He's Polish.
10:55
SPEAKER_02: You see those two big guys drinking beer on the other side of you?
10:59
SPEAKER_02: We're Polish.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: Now you still want to tell your joke?
11:03
SPEAKER_02: So the guy thinks about it and says, No, I changed my mind.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Nobody'll get it.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, as you both know, I'm Polish, so I didn't get it either.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: But I have to admit, the paid one was pretty funny.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: I'll give you the point, real Stephen Jeff.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: Alrighty then.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: Next category is wives.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: AI Jeff, you're first.
11:26
SPEAKER_01: Great.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: And just before we go any further, uh Johnny, I just want you to know how nice it is to be back in the studio and and to be with you.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: And you know, it was a mistake when we replaced you before.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: And I promise that when AI Steve and I win this contest, you will be able to be here all the time with no AI at all.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, all right.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: So here's my joke.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: Husband and wife were grocery shopping.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: When the husband picks out a case of Budweiser beer and places it in the cart, the wife says, What are you doing here?
12:02
SPEAKER_00: And he says, Well, it's on sale, it's only$10 a case.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: She says, Well, we can't afford it.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: Put it back.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: And so he puts it back and they continue to shop.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: And a few minutes later, he sees his wife put a$20 jar of face cream into the cart.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: And he says, What are you doing here?
12:23
SPEAKER_00: And she says, Well, it's face cream, it makes me look beautiful.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: And he replied, So does the Budweiser, and it's half the price.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, Jeff, real Jeff, you're true with the joke about wives.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: All right.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Well, that should be easy to beat.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so but before I go, fuck you guys, okay?
12:45
SPEAKER_00: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: So, because I know if there's anybody who knows anything about wife jokes, it's me.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, just take a look at Kathy and you'll you'll know what I'm talking about.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, a wife is tired of all these problems that need fixing in her house.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: And she asks her husband, can you please fix that leak in the bathroom?
13:07
SPEAKER_00: And her husband says, Why me?
13:09
SPEAKER_00: Do I look like a plumber?
13:11
SPEAKER_00: So then she says, Okay, she says, but can you can you at least fix the light in the living room?
13:18
SPEAKER_00: And he it's been flickering forever.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: And he says, Why me?
13:23
SPEAKER_00: Do I look like an electrician?
13:25
SPEAKER_00: And she's getting kind of pissed off.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: And she says, Well, can you at least mow the lawn?
13:30
SPEAKER_00: And again, he replies, Why me?
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Do I look like a gardener?
13:35
SPEAKER_00: When he comes home from work one day, the leak is fixed, the light has stopped flickering, and the lawn has been cut perfectly.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: And he turns to his wife and he says, How did you do all of this?
13:48
SPEAKER_00: She said, You know, fat Terry down the road.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: I called him and asked him if he would do that for me.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: So the husband kind of got angry and he says, You know, I I bet that was expensive.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: How much did it cost?
14:02
SPEAKER_00: Nothing, she said.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: Terry said he would do it all for either chocolate cake or a blowjob.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: The husband smiles and says, Doing all of this and and all you had to do is bake him a cake.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: And his wife said, Who me?
14:16
SPEAKER_00: Do I look like a baker?
14:19
SPEAKER_01: Well, I thought that one was gonna be the winner, except as I recall.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: Last week I asked you where my check was, and you said, What do I look like?
14:29
SPEAKER_01: A bank?
14:30
SPEAKER_01: And that wasn't funny.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: So I have to give this round to the AI boys.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: It's now tied one to one.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: Your turn, AI Steve.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: The category is farm animals.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you so much, Johnny.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: And I agree with AI Jeff.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: You are the best part of the show, until we come on, of course, but but but I digress.
14:53
SPEAKER_02: So here I go.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Uh a blonde lady is walking in the country and notices some interesting farm animals.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: So she sees this farmer and asks him, Hey, you know, how come those cows don't have horns?
15:05
SPEAKER_02: I thought cows had horns.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Well, the farmer smiles.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: Hey, a farmer loves his work.
15:10
SPEAKER_02: He can't wait to explain it all.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: He loves talking about farming, you know.
15:14
SPEAKER_02: And then finally, finally, someone asks him a question.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: He's been waiting for somebody to ask him about farming, right?
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Somebody did or says, Well, you see, miss, we often remove horns from cows.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: That way they don't get into accidents, they don't hurt each other, and they don't get tangled in branches and things like that.
15:32
SPEAKER_02: We do that by either sawing them off, or sometimes we put a little drop of acid on the horns when they're still young so they don't grow.
15:42
SPEAKER_02: But those particular cows don't have horns because they are horses.
15:47
SPEAKER_02: Funny.
15:48
SPEAKER_02: You can steve.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: The category is farm animals.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Kick his ass, Steve.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: Well, now, Johnny, that that's really more of a blonde joke than a farm joke.
15:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure my mom won't get mad at you for laughing at a blonde joke, even if she is blonde herself.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: Well, blonde in quotes, you know.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: I mean, but it's only a joke.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: But but I digress.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: Here I go.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh, a traveling salesman got lost one day driving through the Midwest farm country.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: So he stops at a farmhouse for directions.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: The farmer is giving the salesman directions.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: The salesman notices that all the farm animals were in a pen, except this one three-legged pig just roaming around, roaming around the farm.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: So he's curious.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: Uh, salesman asks the farmer, What's with that three-legged pig?
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Farmer says, Well, that is no ordinary pig.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: In fact, he's quite amazing.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: He's maybe even what you might call a legend around these parts.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: Why, just last year, our youngest boy fell down the well, and this pig jumped in and saved his life.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: So salesman asked, Oh, and that's how a pig lost his leg?
16:51
SPEAKER_02: Farmer says, No, no, no, no, no.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: A few months ago, my little girl Holly got lost in the woods.
16:56
SPEAKER_02: We searched all night and couldn't find her.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: Well, come morning, here she'd been found by this amazing pig who had fought off a pack of wolves to keep her safe, slept next to her to keep her warm, and led her back home.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: So salesman, and that's how he lost his leg.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: So, oh no, no, no, no, not at all.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: Just a week ago, one night, the house caught on fire from a spark out of the fireplace.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: Well, this amazing little pig smelled the smoke, then somehow broke out of his pen and dragged each of us out through the flames and the smoke, saving our whole family's lives.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: Salesman said, Well, that's certainly an amazing pig.
17:35
SPEAKER_02: So is is that fire?
17:37
SPEAKER_02: Is that when he lost his leg?
17:38
SPEAKER_02: Farmer says, So, no, no, no, no, you don't understand.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: You see, with as amazing a pig as this one is, you just can't eat them all at once.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay, one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: As long as our judge, Johnny, is not a pig or a blonde pig, I think, I think we're uh in good shape.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: I think they're in big trouble, especially with Johnny and your mom and and all that.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: My personal feelings never get in the way of deciding who's funnier.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: I am a professional.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: And without question, that point should be for Steve and Jeff.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: Except I heard that joke told by Norm McDonald on Coden.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: So I have to go with the AI team.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: They lead two to one.
18:21
SPEAKER_02: That's excellent, real Steve.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Haha.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, I guess real Steve is no Norm McDonald, but it looks like real Steve wants to be.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: Tough break, boys.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fuck you, AI Steve.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: Make me real Steve.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's enough.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: That's enough.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: Question four.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: And this is for Jeff.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: And if the originals lose this one, they lose the match and the show.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: The category is baseball.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: Cool.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: I love baseball.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: In fact, my favorite sport, it's my favorite sport of all of them, and and I'm I'm a big White Sox fan.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: Excellent.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: I can't think of a bigger joke than the Chicago White Sox.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: Your turn, AI Jeff.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that doesn't sound fair, but regardless, this one will kick his ass for sure.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: A Braves fan walks into an Atlanta bar and spots a guy wearing a New York Yankees cap.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: He says, drinks for everyone except for the Yankees fan.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: The Yankees fan smiles and says, Thank you, which infuriated the Braves fan.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: So he orders another round of drinks, and the same thing happens.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: He says, drinks for everybody except for the Yankee fan.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Sure enough, the Yankee fan says thank you again.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: So now he's really pissed off.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: So he spends the rest of the night just buying drinks after drinks.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: And every single time the Yankees fan says thank you and with a big smile on his face.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: Finally, this guy turns to the bartender and says, What is this guy?
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Nuts?
19:57
SPEAKER_00: And the bartender says, No, he's not nuts.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: He owns the place.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: I have to admit, it was very funny.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: But not as funny as the Chicago White Sox.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: They're the biggest jokes in the history of sports.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: The originals win the round.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: It's all tied up.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: Now we're at the final round, and the category is a Trump joke.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: You first, real Steve.
20:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, just to show good sportsmanship, and you know, a little apology for our our little argument there a minute ago.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: AI Steve can go first.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: So take it away, AI Steve.
20:32
SPEAKER_02: Uh, that's so nice of you, real Steve.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: And I I think I have the winner.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: So here it goes.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: Obama, Hillary, and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven.
20:42
SPEAKER_02: So God looks at them and says, Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask what you have learned, what you believe in.
20:50
SPEAKER_02: So God asks Obama first.
20:52
SPEAKER_02: He says, What do you believe?
20:53
SPEAKER_02: So Obama gives us some thought, looks God in the eye, and says, I believe in hard work and in staying true to family and friends.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: I believe in giving.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countryman.
21:07
SPEAKER_02: He offers him a seat to his left.
21:10
SPEAKER_02: So then God turns to Hillary and says, What do you believe?
21:13
SPEAKER_02: And he says, I believe passion, discipline, courage, and honor are the fundamentals of life.
21:19
SPEAKER_02: Like Obama, I believe in hard work.
21:21
SPEAKER_02: I too have been lucky.
21:23
SPEAKER_02: Vote win or lose.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: I've always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American.
21:28
SPEAKER_02: He says, Take a seat to my right.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: So finally God turns to Trump and says, And you, Donald, what do you believe?
21:36
SPEAKER_02: Well, Trump says, I believe you're in my seat.
21:39
SPEAKER_02: Steve?
21:41
SPEAKER_02: Gosh, with a joke with Obama and Hillary getting into heaven.
21:45
SPEAKER_02: Wow, I'm I'm good.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: I I think they're the winners.
21:49
SPEAKER_01: I think that was a good choice.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: So the winner is the team of AI Steve and AI Jeff.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: And for putting Obama and Clinton in heaven, your prize is at all expense to pay for to stay at the Siberian Hilton.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: And the Vice King, JD Putin.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: And the consolation prize for Steve and Jeff is that you have to do the podcast forever.
22:15
SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: Wow, we are honored.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: This was great.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, guys.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: And remember to dress warm.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, it gets pretty cold in Siberia, and and I'm looking forward to some really funny jokes in the next couple weeks.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: What about you?
22:31
SPEAKER_02: Based on that little prize that they won, nothing about our king, any of those jokes, but it's really cold in Siberia.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: And I'm allergic to cold weather, so I don't want I don't want to have to suffer that.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: But do AIs get cold?
22:44
SPEAKER_02: I actually I don't know.
22:45
SPEAKER_02: This is we we have so much to learn, but I I don't know.
22:48
SPEAKER_02: I I think they're just about to kick us out of eccentrically alien studios here.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: So we'll be back with another show, and I it looks like we'll be doing this show forever, so hey, get comfortable, stay tuned.
22:59
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, get us out of this show.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: I gotta go to 7-Eleven.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank Kevin Steve.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: This has been a virtual unreality production in association with Bake and Bake Media.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: We know about Stephen Jeff at their website, StephenJeff.com.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: This is Jeff speaking.
23:16
SPEAKER_01: That was funny that contest.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: And I think real Steven Jeff are actually funnier than their AI releases.
23:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean, they aren't really funny.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: It's funnier, you know, a comparative rather than an absolute.
23:32
SPEAKER_01: Take that, you foolish joke makers.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: Good night.