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John Hearn - What Makes A Dad Valuable In An AI World · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Ryan.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: And this is my guest.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Hey everybody, it's KTJ Cox with the quarterback.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Can't wait for this season because there's a lot of great guests ahead.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's a podcast where we interview that, we learn about how they're arrays, we learn about uh the life weapons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: So let's sit back, relax, and let's look at today's episode of the Quarterback Cat.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the Quarterback Jack.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: We are uh continuing down the path of uh season seven.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: And uh as I've said before many times, uh, ladies and gentlemen, we get referrals on the podcast on and it comes from one of the guys one of the best haircuts ever.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: His name is Stevie Gary, he's got three hairs on his pet.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: He referred to a gentleman by the name of John Hearn, who is a Georgia Bulldog.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: He is uh the COO and Atlanta president of IMA Financial Group, Sigma New.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: He's a Boy Scout fan, but more importantly, he's a dad.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why we're having him on the day learn how John Hearn's worked hard.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Become the ultimate leader of quarterback of the household.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Without further ado, Mr.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: Hearn, welcome to the Quarterback DadCast.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Great to be with you, Casey, and appreciate the introduction by Steve Gardy, a dear friend from college.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: He's a beauty.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: He is he's a great dude.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, for those people who don't know who Steve Garretti is, go out and pick up his book, Great Fruit, a fantastic story of his life and how he beat cancer as a young lad, and now he's just crushing life and uh become a new grandfather, too, I believe.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: He is, yeah.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: I went to his daughter's uh doctor, I went to his daughter uh daughter's wedding and uh got to be a uh a recipient of the newborn baby when uh he was he was sharing that with the rest of the rest of the stakeholders in his life.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: So good.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well we always start out each episode gratitude, uh John.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta tell you, Casey, I just I sometimes pinch myself with how uh well my three kids are are thriving.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm most grateful for, is just for each of them to have their independence.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're never you're never more happy than your least happy child, and uh to have all three of them thriving and independent and making great decisions, a lot of which you can see through the uh the friends uh whom they associate with.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm most proud of.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: My wife Amy gets a lot of that credit, Casey, but uh certainly I'll take a little bit of the credit as well.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what I'm most grateful for is to have three kids that are thriving and all have a relationship with uh God and their savior.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I just couldn't be more happy with uh seeing all of that come to fruition.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: So good.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm uh I'm most grateful for I got both kids in the house.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and I just I'm about to become an empty nester.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: I got my youngest just graduated high school uh this week, which is surreal.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: I literally feel like I'm I was literally took my dogs for a walk this morning, and there was a a dad with a stroller and a little like a four-year-old in a scooter.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, man, I remember those days.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Where did it, where did the time go?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: You just look back and you're like, it everybody always told me when when the kids were younger, he said it's gonna go so fast.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I heard that over and over and over.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't really appreciate it, but now I do.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: I know and now I'm the one that's saying it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I know everybody's rolling their eyes how often I say it now.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's part of the evolution.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's it's our job now to send the elevator back down, remind the the young dads.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, just you know, you're gonna get stressed, you're gonna be have frustrations at times, but just you know, smile a lot, have grace for everybody, forgive, stay level headed.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, anyway, so I'm grateful for the kids are in the house right now, and I'm um just enjoying it and I'm gonna enjoy every every day until they go away to my son will be a junior and my daughter will be a freshman.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um but it's gonna be an obviously an adjustment.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: But luckily, I'm dating my high school, I mean I'm married to my high school sweetheart, so I've uh we do we do dates all the time, so it's I don't I think it's gonna be exciting.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: We'll have a lot more fun.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: So well you'll you'll uh that you've got a big transition coming, but you'll you'll realize quickly, uh, you know, when you have kids, it's all of a sudden not about you anymore.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and I I mean that about me too, but uh when when the kids get grown, you get to reintroduce yourself to your uh your wife and realize that you actually like each other again for reasons that uh originally culminated the marriage.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you you mentioned Amy, you mentioned the three kids.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'd love to un love to have you tell the story.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: How did you and Amy meet and then tell us a little bit about what each child is up to right now?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, great, I'd be honored.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, not to bore the audience, but uh my wife and I uh I I gotta I gotta go ahead and expose, she's three years older than me, so let's just say I knew who she was in high school, but she didn't really know who I was.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: But we went to the same high school in downtown Metropolitan Monroe, Georgia.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh her mother taught my twin sister second grade.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Her dad was a county commissioner when my father was a county attorney.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: So our families knew of each other, but with her being three years older than me, we probably never said more than three words to each other all through high school.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're at uh college, my dad was applying a little tough love to me, made me go get a job at a hospital.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: She had uh, she, Amy, had uh already graduated and was a nurse on the pediatric floor of Athens Regional Medical Center, which is now Piedmont Hospital.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: And while I was in uh in the in my job in ER registration and admissions, uh I found out about this Amy Ecker up on the pediatric floor.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And whenever a child would get admitted from the emergency room, I would be the one that would escort them up there because I wanted to make sure that I saw Amy up there.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm embarrassed to say that uh after um laying a few uh seeds that were probably uh heavily induced with shyness on my end, uh she asked me out on our first date.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: What a what a killer thing is that.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't I wouldn't I didn't I didn't step up and do it.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: She asked me out.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: And how long have you been married?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're 29 years as of May 31st.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Fantastic, man.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, it really does.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you asked about the kids, Casey.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh let's see, my um whenever I say kids, they all laugh.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: They said, Dad, we're not baby goats, but I always call them my kids.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so uh the the children are uh Darden, female, Christian female, and Will.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Darden is 27 years old.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: She graduated from Georgia Go Dog.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: She works at Home Depot in corporate communications.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: She got a can't say this, but she's gonna get a promotion soon, we think.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_04: Let's go.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but she uh she's getting married in October.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and her uh soon-to-be husband, Brady, is awesome.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: We love him.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she bought a house one mile from where Amy and I live and have raised those kids.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: So uh to the extent they are blessed with uh children and and grandchildren for Amy and me, we're gonna get to watch them grow up because they're right by the house.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: She's finishing up her MBA at uh University of Georgia, so she's got a new job, MBA, marriage coming up.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: She's a busy, busy young lady, but she's a superstar.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: My second daughter, Christian.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Christian graduated from Georgia as well.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Then she went to Mercer University and got her nursing degree, and she works in uh NERO ICU step down.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: So when people are released from Nero ICU, they come to her floor, and she's a nurse uh on that floor.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: She's into uh skydiving and rock climbing and adventure sports.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she plays the piano and the banjo and the guitar and the ukulele.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: If if it's got music, she can play it.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, doesn't read a look of music, but is just a remarkable uh and and uniquely diverse talented individual in a lot of areas.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh she's awesome.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: My uh my son Will is a rising senior at the University of Georgia, so three for three into Georgia.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's hard to do these days.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: If you just if you when I was when I got into Georgia, uh you just had to fog a mirror and you got in.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: But now those three get those three getting into Georgia, all three, is quite an accomplishment.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, he's a rising senior at Georgia.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: He's a journalism major.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, he's real big into uh social media sport.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's got websites and podcasts and all that sort of stuff uh that he runs.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can't figure it all out, but he's figured out a way to make money in that world.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: He's doing an internship this summer for a sports marketing firm and uh plans to go to work in the industry for a couple three years, uh, if not longer, before he contemplates going to get an MBA.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that that's the uh that's the three that keep keep this old guy young.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, what a uh you know, one of the things I'm gonna prove them, Casey.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's awesome.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Overly gratuitous.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's such a proud of them.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: They're good, and most most importantly, they're good people and uh they they they have their they have a strong fate, and uh we're all a really, really tight family.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I couldn't be more fortunate.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: So cool.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's what you said a word that was gonna talk about um John, is you know, when you're raising kids, sometimes you you lose, sometimes on accident, because we're all flawed humans, we we lose track of you know expectations, or we lose track on what truly means success, whether it's they gotta be first chair in the band or they gotta be that starting point guard in the basketball team.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't know.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: For me, man, I'm I just turned 50, and what's the big and probably my 40s I really realized is the biggest metric of success for me is happiness.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Are you happy?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Are like do you smile you see smiles on your kids' face?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: And like my son plays golf in college, which is like you know, one of the unfortunately one of the hardest sports to play and mentally grueling sports, and it'll just humble you when you don't know what's gonna be coming.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I always remind him like whether you shoot 68 or 85, I don't care.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't do I want you to play well 100%.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: But what I want to do is to see a smile and realize that this whatever you decide that does not define you.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: That does not define like your values define you, how you show up, how you interact with people, how you ask questions, how you follow up, how you make people feel.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's the most important thing to me.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I I hope that there's younger dads that listen to conversations like these were having me and you and I to help to to remember that because when you're in it, you can get so wrapped up about things that don't freaking matter.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that true?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's those are great sentiments.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: I um I I agree completely with that.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: I I I would uh just share a little different view on something.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: You use the word happiness.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I use the word uh very similar sentiments, but I use the word joy.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: And and the difference is um talk about happiness to your kids, they expect everything to always go well.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you and I have been through the school of hard knocks where we know that not everything's roses and dropping balloons and confetti.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: So tough times do happen.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: Joy is when you have a perspective that even when you're going through uh those kinds of times, those downturns in your life, that you keep a longer-term, I would say eternal perspective.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: And if you keep an eternal perspective out about things, then you can be joyful even in the midst of uh adversity.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I've always, these young people that I mentor, and even my own children, I've always said that we we live in a bit of a bubble in our little East Cobb, North Northwest Atlanta area.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: And in that bubble, we're kind of we're kind of immune to some of the adversity that some some people uh face in their lives.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: But even so, everybody in this life on this world are gonna face adversity.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And the key is that you keep uh keep getting up when you get knocked down, and uh and in the know that that's part of the journey and part of the process.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: And if you keep that perspective that you're growing through that adversity, then that's from where joy comes from.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: Happiness isn't always about getting what you want, it's about recognize that even when you're not getting what you want, that what you want, that you're uh developing and building your character in the process.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Love that, man.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well said.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I've ever heard that before, but um, I'm gonna steal that, you know, give you the love.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: But really, really great, great insight, sir.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, John, bring me back to what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact mom and dad had on you from a value perspective.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, great, great question.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my my father passed away in 2014, uh, a real force in nature.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: He's a lieutenant colonel in the military, uh uh a judge.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh mom still living, turns 88 in uh in uh September, uh miscreative MacGyver of decoration.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um I grew up as uh my twin sister and I were the fourth and fifth child of five children, and dad, a practicing attorney, later became a judge, uh involved in the military national national guard.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I saw uh my dad, uh he he I'm a my my uh my down my downside, Casey, is I'm a workaholic, and uh I'm not proud of that, but I am.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: I get that from my dad.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I'll tell you this about my dad.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: He would uh he would always be home for dinner.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: If we ate at 6:30 or 7, he would always be home for dinner.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: And about two-thirds of the time he would go back to work, but he was always there for dinner.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: He never missed a sporting event that I can recall that I attended, and all my siblings say the same thing.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't honored that, um, I'll tell you a story in a minute, but I haven't honored that uh example completely in my life.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I uh I I I did grow up in a in a uh family that uh I had my mom and dad setting the example along the way around how to love each other.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um my dad, my dad was an only child.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: He he was a tough guy.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I'd give a lot of credit to my wife, I mean to my mother, on being deferential to him.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but she was no wallflower either and is no wildflower.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: She's powerful in her own right.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I just had a couple of great examples.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was I got my 10-year uh perfect attendance pen, a pen at church.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: So we that's what we did on Sundays.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: We went to church um on the weekends.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: If it was the summer, we were out at the school volunteering to cut grass and uh and always giving back to the community.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: If we went to Walmart on the weekend, my dad was uh, you know, he was a he was a judge in town, so it was a small town, but he was um he was a pretty notable character in town.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but if we went to Walmart, he would he would talk to the farmer, he'd talk to the janitor, he'd talk to the mayor, and he'd treat everybody the exact same way.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember him telling me one time, uh, John, there's a difference in educated and smart.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And that guy over there with overalls, the farmer is one of the smartest people I know.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it was those kinds of lessons that you get from your folks growing up where uh you realize not until later, really, that how fortunate I was, but you just try to carry some of those examples forward to your kids.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's almost like he was ahead of his time teaching emotional intelligence versus IQ.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I would agree with that.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: IQ too.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: If I ever asked him a word that I heard on TV that I didn't understand, he'd say, Go look it up.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: We have this big dictionary in the on the side of the den that uh uh that uh was thicker than uh eight Atlanta phone books.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: But uh I would go look that up, and that's that's where I got the IQ as well.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'd not that I have had his IQ, he was brilliant.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: But uh I I I played catch-up uh with my twin sister compared to uh me.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: But um in any event, a little IQ and definitely EQ.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: He he was socially aware for sure, uh, as is my mom.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's interesting.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was I was your typical yeah, I played football all through college, but I was a 3.3 to 3.4 guy, and then by myself nice.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: My twin sister and I came home from school the fresh our freshman year.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Dad said, How'd y'all do in school?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: I said, We did great.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: We got a 4-0.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: She got a 3-0 and I got a 1-0.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well played.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's not entirely true, but it's close.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: All right, go ahead.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I had a 1.7 my fresh my second quarter of my college.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I was just like, this is great.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: I can hanging out and no rules and playing football, and class is optional, and you can party and do everything.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: This is great.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, whoa, 1.7?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: Not I felt like a guy in an animal house, fat drunk and stupid, it's no way to live life.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um my my kids keep asking me, uh, there I go saying kids again, but they keep asking me, Dad, what was your GPA in college?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, I'm not gonna tell you until Will Will graduates from college.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: So they're eager to they're eager for him to graduate so we can all have a powwow and discuss my GPA.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: My wife, of course, uh uh never made a B in college.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: She was a 4.0 student, so that's where they get their intellect.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, my uh sorry, my daughter, she just graduated.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't, I mean, we joked, she was at her grades in Miami M.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: She's like three point, almost 4.0.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: I my son, he's like a mid three-point guy in college.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, where are they?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_04: Who's the dad?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: Who's he getting this from?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: But I'd say what I'm most proud, and and maybe it's because I'm biased, but I I would take EQ over IQ in any in any time.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, just like when I can talk to younger kids or anybody and they can ask good questions, not just one and then talk about themselves, but like follow-up questions and truly listen.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: They're not on their phones 99.9% of the time.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: And like those are the skills to me, like as a dad, like I pounded into my kids.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And seeing like how you know you're talking about how proud you were yours, like just seeing those skills now transition, because I couldn't tell you when the war of 1812 was, but I mean I know how to ask questions and listen and like these the eQ that I know helped me through my corporate career without a doubt.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no doubt.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we were uh growing up uh when you know having and I'll still do this, but the my my children uh they always call them here come the dad question.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: So if we're if we're at dinner uh through the Socratic method, I would always raise some question to get them talking about things, and uh that's just how we rolled.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's always comfortable until they had a friend with them, and I would do it with them too, and they'd be like, Oh dad, you're embarrassing me.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Here come the dad question.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: But dude, I love the Socratic method.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: When I was four I've shared this on the podcast before when I was 41, John, I learned a way to ask open-end questions called TED-based questions, which stands for tell me, explain, describe.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I when I learned this and I was leading sales teams, I'm like, I'm gonna practice on my kids.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like magic.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and then you when you put a number in the TED-based question, like or and even when you said Socratic, I love doing that, so I do a lot of my own work now as a sales leadership coach.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: People ask me a question, I'll say, Well, tell me what you think.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of times they have the answer, they're just scared to say it.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so if you can help and still taking this back to being dads, we can help remove fear and instill confidence, no matter what they decide to do, we're that's winning life.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: A friend of mine, Bob Rickley, I had dinner with him last night.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: He's writing a book right now, and it's called The Last One to Talk.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole thesis of the book is uh to do what you just described, is to uh not be one that talks about yourself, but to ask questions uh and be the last one to talk through a question.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: Is he a dad?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: He is.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think we might have a future guest.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: I want to talk to that dad.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you yeah, you gotta you gotta talk to Bob Berkley.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's he's a uh he's a professional coach uh of executives, so he he'd be a great one for you.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds awesome.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: I would love talking to you.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: Mark Okay, so hard work, faith, um uh you know, treating people the right way, um, giving back.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh but if you had to pick like the top two values that just like really speak to you that you learned that cemented uh you as a young lad, as and now you're a a father, tell me what comes to mind and maybe there's a story of how you really learn those values.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's I think it's probably I don't know if this is a value or whatnot, but it's probably something around the notion of I'm not gonna give you a real pointed answer, but it's something around the notion of uh uh giving back, paying it forward, mentoring others would probably be the closest.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um all ship rise with a rising tide.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I was in Casey, I was in sales uh directly for uh 30 years, and um I I didn't always uh wasn't always the first one to close a deal, but uh I did build long term relationships and uh I I think it's because of the way I was raised and maybe the the values that I had growing up.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: But um just wired I'm not trying to self promote myself at all, but I think The the if I had a gift, uh if I've been given a gift from God, it was uh to always really care about what was going on with the other person I was talking to and um want to know what their problems were.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: And sales has a negative connotation to it, but I believe sales uh redefined the right way is all about helping people.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you've really got a mindset of helping others and uh you know helping them solve problems, then uh your ship will rise with the rise of tide.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like you you give one thing and you get back two.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that's just the way I think I think that's the economy of uh uh the economy of uh of uh my life.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I I I think that's deteriorated in our society a bit, but uh I do think that's really the where the magic is, is to uh give not to get.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're not giving to get.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is not like a transaction, but you're giving, giving, giving, and again, your boat will rise with a rising tide.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um I you that spoke to me on so many levels.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't know if you know this, but I wrote a book called When the Relationship Not the Deal, which essentially just spoke exactly what you just said.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: And um I teach uh what you just said, but I call it the boomerang mindset.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: Where you're serving others, but you do not keep score and you go out of your way, and some people the the person that like doesn't get that, that means their ego is in the way.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think the person that says like you're generally looked to help people.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, are you a dad that comes home and damn what a stressful day?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: Are you the dad that comes home and he says you see the dishwasher's full?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Well, empty it.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Or you want to be that old school guy that says, Well, that worked my ass off and my wife stays home, she should do it.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, maybe she was busy doing 15 other things like your laundry or a kid had an issue, or it was the servant mindset that you just shared is so so so so so powerful that I think um if you don't have one now, you can get one tomorrow if you decide to change.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: Best time to plan it for you was 20 years ago.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: Second best is today.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that one.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: I I have a uh a coworker here who's been with me for years.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um she had a real rough patch in her life and lost her mom, lost her brother in an accident.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was just a terrible time.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, uh just an example she set for me was she said, uh, you know, everybody there's always somebody out there who's got a heavier cross to bear than me.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: So what an outward mindset is that.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Arbinger Institute out out, and I think they're out of Salt Lake City, but uh Arbinger Institute has uh several books out there that are talking about outward mindset versus inward mindset.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: And uh kind of what you're describing is uh that outward mindset.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: I love your your comment about give without keeping score.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's the test of authenticity.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you're if you're if you're giving so that you can get, that means you're keeping score.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're giving an outward mindset and you're just trying to make you know the the life and the little world in which you live a little better, uh then that's the that's a genuine, authentic, outward mindset.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that is uh to me, that's that'd be my advice.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't always lived that way.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've tried to, but I've certainly fallen short.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: But uh that's that's to me the advice for young professionals, especially, is to have that mindset where you're just trying to give back to others and uh don't feel like you're it's a marathon, not a sprint.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Don't feel like you're doing a 40-yard dash to try to win the income race for a year.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh build your build your uh relationships off of long-term thinking, and you'll look back at retirement, you'll be the wealthiest person in the world, whether it be financial or otherwise.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Wealth comes in a lot of ways, right?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: Not just financial, spiritual, wealthy, mindset wealthy.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: When you said that, that um John, you I was ironically, I was talking to a client who became a really good friend of mine in in Atlanta, and he's a younger dad, and um he was talking to me about all these big initiatives he's got to work and all these things going on in his life, and he's a football guy.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: I go, hey, let's just get first downs.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: Go get a first down, man, and get in the huddle.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: Just go get a first down.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it's like you can't in I think sometimes with AI right now, I know is it it's I think it's unfortunately creating some complacency in people.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's make it's letting us work faster uh in certain ways, but it's still it's not gonna replace uh what you and I are doing right now is having a conversation and listening to one and feeding off each other.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I can't like if you say something, I can say, hold on, John, let me ask AI.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: It says I should say this.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean that's not authentic.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and giving yourself like teaching our kids to use these technologies, use these tools, but you still gotta develop the things we're talking about around serving, being a great listener, treating people, you know, having a long-term mindset.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um that uh that you know, I know this isn't a a podcast on AI, but I I do think, you know, is imparting wisdom on on my children and and the young people of the world, and maybe maybe some encouragement here to parents who are or and dads who are doing this for their kids.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I I just think uh the change that our world, the pace of change that our world is going through, it's uh in some regards it's scary, in other regards it's exciting.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but but the resilience, I think social media has has uh dissipated the resilience of young people to some degree.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Other some will some will disagree with me on that.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: But I think uh resilience is uh is something to really focus on right now because uh AI is going to change things so quickly that those who uh don't have good resilience are going to shut down in a in a world of change when this is the last time you need to be shutting down.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we we you talked about EQ versus IQ.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: EQ is going to be important in the future.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh like that human connection you were just referencing.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: AI will never replace human connection.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: It'll replace the tactical stuff, it'll replace some of the knowledge, uh, the knowledge economy that's out there, uh, but it will never replace the human connection.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so, what are we doing as dad uh to make sure that we're upskilling our kids and and the mentees that are under us?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: What are we doing to upskill them on those things that will be valuable five years from now?
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: So in five years from now, why will a customer call me?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Why will a customer call you?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter at Home Depot, why why will she on the knowledge side of Home Depot?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: So in five years, why are you going to be valuable in this world of uh AI?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the one one place I don't know where all that's gonna go, but I know where it's definitely uh still going to go is gonna be around the human connection.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be around ingenuity.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: You sign off on your emails with uh stay curious, I think, something like that.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Curiosity, uh, the ingenuity, the uh critical thinking skills, uh, just that desire to always want to be learning more and uh being sort of an interpreter within an environment where you can where you can um have the social skill to interact with people to help them through this change.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh don't don't stifle yourself.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: Don't let don't let this change stifle you.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Lean into where uh you know the old Wayne Gretzky, I escaped to where the puck's gonna be, not to where it is.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the puck's gonna be in these things I'm talking about.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: We've got to encourage our kids not to stifle themselves and get lazy on thinking that things are always gonna be just uh like it is today and they're gonna be easier because of AI.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think those who uh uh maybe step at a little faster pace into that change are gonna be uniquely positioned in this new economy.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's gonna be pretty dramatic the next five years, and it'll be interesting to see um if I'm right or wrong there.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I I do think our our kids need to position themselves in a way that'll be best positioned for that down the road.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't agree with you, Maura.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: Sunny, when I when I speak um with companies or on conferences, I one of the first things I'll say is if you're here to learn about AI, you're in the wrong room.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, what?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, look, and I'll like I'll literally almost say verbatim what you just said.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm glad that Steve introduced this, and I'm not surprised why he did, because this stuff, I mean, I I don't know if you follow the Daily Stoic, but I I follow day of this um stoic wisdom that I'll look at like a passage a day, I'll look some I'll look at a scripture in the morning, I'll look at a daily stoic, and a lot of times this is thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago, and it's still stuff we're talking about now.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: It still works.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing new under the sun.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: No, right?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: You still gotta listen.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like the Stoics talked about two ears and one mouth.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like and and I wrote about that like eight years ago, and I'm like, oh wow, it was really wise.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I didn't make it up, I got it from someone else.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: I just repurposed it.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, my name is Blaise Basal, and I hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: In case you're wondering, I'm a fellow dad and also the president of Kelly Mitchell.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Kelly Mitchell is an employee-owned technology solutions firm, and we help organizations solve complex business challenges.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think at the end of the day, we're we're focused on our team doing work that matters for our clients.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because the way you show up matters, the way you treat people, clients, teammates, really everyone.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: That shapes the experience and the results that follow.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think similarly, Casey has had a real impact on our team internally at Kelly Mitchell.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: He spent time with us most recently in St.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Louis with our sales team.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And while he was there, he asked a question that really stuck with me.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that was, do you believe that what you do matters?
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: That question stayed with us.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's changed how we approach our day-to-day, how we prepare, how we communicate, and ultimately how we follow through.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's why the experience Casey brings to his customers has made such an impact.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because whether when people believe their work matters, everything works better across the team, with our clients, and definitely in results.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we appreciate you, Casey.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And now back to the podcast.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'd love for you to like maybe give an example.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: So if there's a dad at home that's like hearing us, it's like, okay, guys, this makes sense, but how do I go about like doing that?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: If you can if you can think about articulating a way that you've taught these skills or communicated your kids to embrace resilience.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I as I'm saying this, I have an idea that popped in my head, but I'd love to hear from you on like what's worked for you in teaching your kids to embrace those things.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's it's it's easy to uh this is a hard question because uh the the society is pushing against what we're talking about.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's uh it's society is trying to create safer environments and things like that.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm not picking on that necessarily because there's a place for that, but um, but I I do think it's easy to pick on the old everybody gets the trophy kind of a dynamic, right?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's e that's that's the culprit.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're in an everybody gets the trophy kind of environment, what do you do?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I I think we can still insert competition.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: So uh are you playing games with your kids?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: It can could Sunday become uh game day at home where you uh you create a little competition.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um whatever, scrabble, Uno, uh chess.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh pick a game that creates some competition and and don't let your don't let your children win every game.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh when they get a little older, go go play tennis and um uh don't be afraid to um knock it back to them a little faster than you normally would.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know uh if if we coddle them all the way through, uh society will uh they'll they're gonna hit the wall at some point, so why not let them hit that a little bit uh here?
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: And um uh there's a thousand ways that shows up.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: But um, you know, do they do they do they scrape their knee?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and and how do you interact with that?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, let them know it'll be okay and and don't overcoddle them too much.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um that's a guy speaking.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: The women that are listening to this will be mortified by my comment, but I I do think the theme of what I'm saying is is accurate that we've got to let um uh in a safe kind of a way, but we gotta let some some pain, lowercase pea pain for a child is not a bad thing, is where they're gonna develop their resilience and be able to handle the real adversity that life's gonna throw at you.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: So create competitive environments.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh if you if there's more than one child, if there's not, do it yourself through games.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_01: The uh the the types of uh uh sporting leagues that uh kids get into.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: If they're not into sports, then uh and like one daughter was into sports and music, but if she was uh if she was not into sports, it would be like, well, okay, playing the piano, how are you gonna how are you gonna practice and push the envelope on getting just a little bit better every every day?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: So raise raise the bar, raise the bar always.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: Set high expectations and raise the bar.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I like that.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_02: There's um, I think adverse there's what's his Tony Bennett, not the singer, but the coach.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he was the coach for Virginia and uh Washington State, and he was only 16 seed to lose to a one seed, and it he right after the right after that game, he said adversity is life's golden ticket.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: And the next year they went on to win win the a national championship.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I think sometimes like when you when you go through these adverse moments, like I think of that was one of the questions I used to ask salespeople when I interviewed him, and then I was like coach sales leaders, I'll say they'll ask for like interviewing advice, and I'm like, Well, what do you think the best salespeople, not only are they good at EQ, but they have grit, they have resilience, and they see long-term, they know they're gonna get because every month you're not gonna be growing not realistically.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, then why aren't you interviewing for grit?
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: Why aren't you interviewing for resilience?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so I would say, hey, tell me the biggest moment of adversity in your life, how will you use that to make you successful in the shop?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: So my topic.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: I I ask a similar question, Casey.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's fascinating.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you you the answers that you get, you can quickly tell.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just about whether they've had adversity or not, because sometimes you don't wish adversity on somebody, but you can really quickly tell whether or not somebody's gonna be vulnerable with you and be genuine with you by the answer to their question.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_02: Well, like so.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: My daughter right now, she um she's gonna go play basketball in college where I played football.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: And it's kind of a cool, cool story.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, we also share the story of us both losing our senior year in high school to injury.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um I I lost my entire senior year.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: She at least played eight games and then she tore her blew her knee out, ACL, MCL, meniscus.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: She's in recovery right now, but luckily she's still got a chance to play poop.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I just I told her, like, I don't I don't know exactly how you're feeling, but I would say 95%, honey, I've been through everything you're going through right now.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_02: And actually I'm jealous of you because you got eight more games than I did.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_02: And um and I'm also jealous of you because the person that um when you got hurt, the person that replaced you was nowhere near you.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_02: The person that replaced me, who I beat out my junior year, would go on to break our single season passing yardage record, or take us to the first state playoffs for seven, twenty years, and got named second team all league, and I had to watch.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_02: So like those stories as my kids have gotten older, they're like, damn, that must have been brutal.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_02: I said it was.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I think about it all the time to motivate me that hey, you know what?
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: Today's probably gonna be hard, but if I get up a little bit earlier to work out, if I you know do a scripture in the morning, if I do write write my gratitude journal, if I if I look at it, so if I have some kind of morning routine before I you know fly the plane per se, I'm ready to go.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: Better than most because I'm I'm not waking up at 7 52 for an 8 o'clock Zoom, coming in there half-ass and that was a tough meeting.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: Well, because you weren't prepared.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you also know your daughter, uh, she she won't appreciate this until later in life, but based on the the uh the the challenges you had in that regard, you now look back and realize, I'm sure, what kind of character building that was and it shaped who you are now.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: And uh uh you you're not glad that that your daughter went through that, but you know it's a it can be a gift uh with regards to the character that she'll build in the process.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it'll just make her a more resilient human being having been through this in a in a in a fair fairly safe environment of a of a high school parental guarded uh situation.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um I want to switch gears real quick.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: If you I want to I want to uh ask you this is some of these are tough questions for people to answer, but I'll try it anyways, and I'll I'll make sure I answer go to so we won't be invulnerable together.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um if you could rewind the tape um you know 25, 30 years ago, and if you know what you know now as a dad, what would be one thing you would do differently that you know is a mistake when you're raising your kid?
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: I would have been home for dinner every night.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me why.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's where it's it's like the uh the metaphor I would use is like it's the deep calming breath of your day.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it's the time that the entire family pauses to do something they need to do, eat, but because of the nature of that pause, everybody's on the same playing field to be able to have uh that interaction through osmosis uh that allows you to pour into each other.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: And uh my wife did that faithfully with the kids.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I worked too much and was traveling a lot, uh, so I think they still got it, but there's no replacement for the dad.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it I did I did plenty of that.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not this isn't self-flagellation on my part, but um, but uh being home for dinner more often just because that's where the magic happens with uh with with a uh uh I believe the development of young people.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: Great answer, man.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you being honest.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: I hope there's a family listening that um uh well the cool thing is you have your marriage is so strong, you know, Amy got your back when you weren't there, and you probably got her back at times when you when she couldn't be be there in a different way.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_02: But um I'd say mine is um sometimes I would have unrealistic expectations of a certain situation, right or wrong.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes maybe it's the quarterback in me, I'm reading the defense, I'm anticipating blitz.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, you know, versus just surrender and be present and don't have any expectations of what has to go right, and we have to get this down for nap time.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes going with the flow and living a little bit loose is peaceful for everybody.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: But and and when when I'm tense or uptight as a younger dad, they felt it.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I sometimes that maybe it's my personality, but like I've I've had to work really hard on patience because being a competitive person and interviewing nearly 360-something dads.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm more patient now because I work on it.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, I I I my sense is Casey, you're you're wired like me, and we're uh uh we're a ready fire aim.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: If I use the old analogy, ready, aim, fire, we're ready, fire, aim people.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we're just trying to uh and and ready, ready, ready aiming is is a good way to be with with your family sometimes.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes we just need to be, right?
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that's not my nature.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but over time uh you're nailing it, like you start to realize that I can just let this simmer for a moment.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to I don't have to try to fix it.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, exactly.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be a fixer, right?
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, luckily I don't know how to fix anything, so I don't have to be a fixer.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: So me either.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Duct tape, duct tape, and that's about all I know how to use.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Duct tape.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_02: I have Crayola, scissors, and paper mache in my my tool belt.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_02: So right, that's good.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us about what uh IMA Financial Group is all about.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: IMA Financial Group is an independent insurance uh broker out of Denver, Colorado.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in the Atlanta office.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: We've got offices in Florida and North Carolina, South Carolina, all over the country, but uh we are an insurance broker that helps employers protect assets and uh support the employees of those companies with their employee benefit program.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: I had the opportunity to join this firm three years ago, and uh that was through a new partnership where I brought my old company into the IMA family.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so that was a bit of a liquidity event for me.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I specifically chose IMA because they were independent and not controlled by private equity, and I thought that would give my team and myself a great place to continue trying to grow while being able to preserve our our in um our identity, if you will, as a local firm.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I I haven't had a those things don't always end well, but I haven't had a a regret a single day of my life since uh making that decision.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a great group of people, uh great organization.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning a whole lot uh again, which is really cool at my age, and uh couldn't be happier with the with the place I find in my career.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh probably my next uh transformation.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Transition point will be trying to figure out Casey when I retire.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm probably um probably six to eight years away, but we'll we'll see how all that goes.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to make God laugh, tell him your long-term plan.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, John, if you were to summarize uh what we talked about today, uh maybe in in a couple of nuggets or bullet points that dad's the dad could take from our conversation and say, Man, I learned A, B, and C um from us today.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, tell me what comes to mind.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: Do your best to set the example.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: Your uh children are looking at you in more ways than you possibly know.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: And uh don't embarrass your reputation while they're watching you.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_04: Number two, be present.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: Number three, teach them skills, even if you're not a teacher, even if you don't really know how, do your best to teach them the skills uh that will set themselves up for what you know the world to be and what it will be like when they're grown.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: But you give them the skills while they're young uh to make them resilient, have the EU that you talked about, the uh EQ, I should say.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh set them up for success through the uh things that you teach them now.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then lastly, uh keep the faith.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, no nobody on this call uh or nobody in the history of the worth, history of the earth, except one person was ever perfect.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you're gonna mess up.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mess up daily, and when you do, give yourself grace, get back up on the horse and uh keep riding it and uh just continue to do your best.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Don't beat yourself up too much.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: And uh you know, a child that's watching you always try your hardest and do it with the right heart, they'll they'll forgive you and give you grace over time if they know that you're continually trying to do your best.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: Wise words, my man.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, how can people connect with you if they want to learn more about John?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_02: They want to learn more about you, the dad, or the IMA financial group.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: John dot uh John Hearn at uh at IMA Corp.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: So it's John.hearn H E A R N J O H N dot H E A R N at I M A Corp, C O R P dot com.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's an email address.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh feel free to reach out.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let me know if you heard any topic today that you challenge or that particularly resonated with you.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my uh my personal mission statement is uh to love God, to mentor others, and to promote truth.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so on the mentor side of things, if there's anybody out there in particular that's uh wanting um to be mentored or uh to find a mentor, I'd particularly be motivated to help you uh connect with somebody in that regard.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_02: So good, ma'am.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_02: John, uh, this has been a blast.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's now time to go into the what I call the lightning round.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, this is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_02: My job is to uh uh ask these questions as quick.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: Your job actually is to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and my job is to try to get a giggle out of you.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Giggle.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't hadn't heard that word in a while, but we'll give it a shot.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready?
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: True or false, you and Steve Gardy used to be strong side tackle and strong side guard for the Georgia Bulldogs.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh true or false, you guys met at a karate camp.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_04: I'm giggling now too.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh who would be your the mighty Georgia Bulldogs, who is the one team that you gotta beat every year?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_02: Florida.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry to do it.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, gators.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um what would be the one genre of music that might surprise uh your your your uh your coworkers that you listen to?
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: Southern Rock.
• 48:11
  unknown: Okay.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: I listen to anything except for uh rap.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: You don't seem like a gangster rap type guy, but that would be funny if you said yes.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_02: Not this week.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_02: Uh favorite book you've read of all time is?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, uh Blue Ocean Strategy.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: Favorite comedy movie of all time is?
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't watch comedy.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh let's see, when Harry met Sally?
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_02: Uh if I was to come to your house uh for dinner tonight, John, tell me what we'd have.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: You would have uh pasta with grilled chicken and uh broccoli with parmesan cheese, fresh parmesan cheese.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: And since it's Friday night, there would probably be a cabernet open.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'll see you in about a couple hours.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: If there was to be a book written about your life, come with a title.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_04: These are brutal.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_02: He gave it his best.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, now John, you're never gonna believe this, but um, it's already out, it's published, and uh no one can get a copy because they're selling out so fast.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I made a little call to Netflix.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna make a movie about your new critically acclaimed hit film booked, it turned into a film.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um they've named you the casting director.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_02: It can't be you.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me who's gonna star you in this new uh movie that's gonna win an Academy Award.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_04: Does it have to be a famous actor?
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_04: It could be anybody.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_04: Mark Rick.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_04: And who is Mark Rick?
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_04: A coach.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, he's the coach for the Miami Hurricane.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, there we go.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there we go.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_02: All right, and last and most important question, tell me two words.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: My my my maybe my book, my movie.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you were gonna ask me my movie title.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was gonna be Just a Kid from Monroe.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, I like that too.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, keep going.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_02: Last and most important question.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me two words that describe Amy.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_02: Loyal, beautiful.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_02: Boom.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: Lightning round is complete.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_02: We both laughed, we both giggled.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: But we learned a lot, everybody, from John.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_02: The guy has wisdom for days.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, he has three thriving children, which is obvious.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, him and his wife are setting a great example for us.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, younger dads, even though I'm now 50.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but I have a I have a beginner's mindset.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's always something we can learn each and every day.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I remind dads at home you do not need a podcast to have conversations like these.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: You just need a little bit of intent.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_02: This amazing thing called a phone, not a text, but pick the phone up and actually call somebody.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe tell them about this episode, you what you learned, and maybe start your own little dad group.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_02: Meet for coffee on the on one day a week or one day a month, or just reach out and for no reason other than to just say hello, ask questions, see what you can do to serve another friend, another dad.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it'd be amazing when you do that often.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, how much better you'll feel about yourself because it's about serving others and not keeping support life.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_02: We've talked multiple times on this uh conversation.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_02: John, though, I'm grateful for you.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm grateful for Steve Garretty introducing us, and um I hope our paths will cross against in the future so we can meet in person one day.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: Great to be with you, Casey.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: Keep doing what you're doing.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: I really love it, the impact you're making.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing grows in a silo.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: Get out and interact with others.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: The world meets everybody on this call.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_02: And everybody, I'll leave this now.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: We're recording in June, right before Father's Day weekend.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_02: So happy Father's Day to you, my man.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: Same to you, Casey.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: Take care, buddy.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you again, everybody, for listening to this week's episode.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_02: And a huge favor now, if you have enjoyed this podcast, please, wherever you just listen to it, go on to the your phone, the computer, and click on reviews and leave us a review, leave us a rating, hopefully five stars if you if you like it a lot, which will help us be easily to be found by new listeners that are gonna be wanting to learn more about the quarterback dad cast, learn about ways they could become an ultimate quarterback or leader of their household.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_02: And even better yet, if this episode touched you, please share it with a friend.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: Uh find another episode that you liked, share that episode with a friend.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna continue to keep growing this thing in quest to get to a thousand dads.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I appreciate you uh continuing to listen each and every week.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you again for all your support and wish you uh a great rest of your day, and we can't wait to see you next week.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: See everybody.