Latest / Dear Son, / Parents Need to Finish the Lesson | Ep 198 | The Dear Son, Show
Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_02]: So much so, that man have bought into the ideology of provider provider provider, no self-check, not pertaining to, we don't we don't care about self-hill.
- 0:13[SPEAKER_02]: we don't look into going to the doctor as frequently.
- 0:16[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I got to go to work.
- 0:18[SPEAKER_02]: That I heard that so much grown up from elderly me and uncles and men of the community, but time to be sick of going to no document.
- 0:25[SPEAKER_02]: I got to go to work.
- 0:25[SPEAKER_01]: I remember my day taking off work because of surgery.
- 0:31[SPEAKER_02]: not because of sickness.
- 0:33[SPEAKER_02]: He's be of not stopping this, that type of mentality.
- 0:36[SPEAKER_02]: Because we've taught the lesson of don't be selfish, the other shoe, the other side of seeing that lesson through is, their son, you need you more than we need you.
- 0:56[SPEAKER_02]: and we live.
- 0:57[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the DS Unshow, what we have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood.
- 1:04[SPEAKER_02]: It's four fathers, those with fathers, and the fatherless, so nobody's left out.
- 1:10[SPEAKER_02]: These are the conversations we want our sons to access as they grow through life into manhood, so no topic to offer limits.
- 1:16[SPEAKER_02]: I'm one of your host, Jay Black.
- 1:18[SPEAKER_02]: I've been...
- 1:22[SPEAKER_01]: What's up, good brother?
- 1:25[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, we all to the race.
- 1:28[SPEAKER_01]: I did not.
- 1:29[SPEAKER_01]: I did not impair the motion.
- 1:31[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we in the market.
- 1:32[SPEAKER_01]: Some of them are going so far.
- 1:35[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it.
- 1:36[SPEAKER_01]: I'll know you playing with me.
- 1:37[SPEAKER_01]: No, okay.
- 1:39[SPEAKER_01]: No, no.
- 1:40[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, some of them are going well, man.
- 1:41[SPEAKER_01]: We all.
- 1:44[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what I'm trying to think of, it felt like it's been about a couple weeks since we said that.
- 1:49[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it might have been three, something I should react to.
- 1:52[SPEAKER_01]: I think either had gone through camp, but Eli had not.
- 1:55[SPEAKER_01]: I know Eli had not, because this camp was last week.
- 1:57[SPEAKER_01]: So he finished off soccer camp last week.
- 2:00[SPEAKER_01]: Goly.
- 2:00[SPEAKER_01]: Goly team put me on the aisle.
- 2:02[SPEAKER_01]: See, I forgot with that team.
- 2:04[SPEAKER_01]: They weren't team USA in their camp.
- 2:05[SPEAKER_01]: I forgot with team they were.
- 2:07[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 2:07[SPEAKER_01]: But he's progressing man taking a serious, I was missing it.
- 2:12[SPEAKER_01]: We had a conversation before about him dealing with, um,
- 2:18[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what I can't tell you.
- 2:20[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I felt he came to mind, but like he got scored on his goal.
- 2:23[SPEAKER_01]: He's going to go.
- 2:24[SPEAKER_01]: So goal is a lonely place.
- 2:27[SPEAKER_01]: Goly's a lonely place and just watching him was when he got scored on what he did.
- 2:32[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like he beat himself up a little bit.
- 2:34[SPEAKER_01]: But he kind of got right back to it.
- 2:36[SPEAKER_01]: So I didn't I didn't serious that out with just kind of mental notes and I asked him, I want to say yesterday.
- 2:45[SPEAKER_01]: He did the two mile walk with me.
- 2:47[SPEAKER_01]: Cause we back walk in.
- 2:48[SPEAKER_01]: We walk in and sometimes they both go together, but at least one of them is with me every time that I walk.
- 2:54[SPEAKER_01]: And on that walk, I asked them what they need to work on.
- 2:57[SPEAKER_01]: He told me something, he need to work on.
- 2:59[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, what days of the week you want to practice?
- 3:01[SPEAKER_01]: He said, Wednesday and Thursday.
- 3:03[SPEAKER_01]: So that's on my.
- 3:05[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my skills are today.
- 3:06[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 3:06[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my skills are today.
- 3:08[SPEAKER_01]: So learning to allow conversations, the work things out versus trying to attack everything with, ah, you got a man, how you missed it.
- 3:18[SPEAKER_01]: Not that I was thinking that.
- 3:19[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
- 3:20[SPEAKER_01]: It's just, I, when you say they want to play gold, I was like, I, man, that's it.
- 3:24[SPEAKER_01]: the best goal is getting scored on.
- 3:25[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 3:26[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 3:27[SPEAKER_02]: And it's how you take it.
- 3:28[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 3:28[SPEAKER_02]: How about you?
- 3:29[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, same.
- 3:30[SPEAKER_02]: Just wrapped up the fourth week of the boys swimming.
- 3:34[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, did swimming lessons.
- 3:37[SPEAKER_02]: Um, continuation.
- 3:39[SPEAKER_02]: So they just completed their, they went to the second phase.
- 3:44[SPEAKER_02]: It's two weeks per session.
- 3:45[SPEAKER_02]: They're just knocked out that part, finished that today, literally this morning.
- 3:50[SPEAKER_02]: So once they knocked that out,
- 3:52[SPEAKER_02]: They're looking at me with the was next break.
- 3:55[SPEAKER_02]: So, right.
- 3:57[SPEAKER_02]: So, come a little traveling here.
- 4:00[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just now getting back home.
- 4:03[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 4:03[SPEAKER_02]: The last couple of days and leaving back out tonight.
- 4:08[SPEAKER_02]: There's a season.
- 4:10[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, tonight.
- 4:10[SPEAKER_02]: You know, tonight.
- 4:11[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 4:11[SPEAKER_02]: We leave the night.
- 4:12[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 4:12[SPEAKER_02]: Like two in the morning.
- 4:18[SPEAKER_02]: Man, why don't you know, get away and we don't get to do that anymore.
- 4:21[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, it's a getaway here, man.
- 4:25[SPEAKER_01]: So look, look, quickly, a turnaround, but it's, it's, it's, it's, do.
- 4:29[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, in the sense you mentioned that, let me mention this before.
- 4:32[SPEAKER_01]: I forget we are wedding anniversary.
- 4:37[SPEAKER_01]: So we had a, we had a marriage, we got married March 27th, 2005.
- 4:41[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 4:41[SPEAKER_01]: We had the wedding July 3rd, 2005.
- 4:44[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 4:44[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 4:45[SPEAKER_01]: So at the time, just recording us tomorrow.
- 4:47[SPEAKER_01]: So they shout out to the, uh, again.
- 4:48[SPEAKER_01]: The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the
- 5:05[SPEAKER_02]: The story about Elias, ties into today a bit, just a tad bit, imagine, you'll see what I mean.
- 5:12[SPEAKER_02]: Today's topic that we'll be discussing on this episode is, dear son, see it through the other shoe or the rest of the lesson.
- 5:24[SPEAKER_02]: As you can tell from this title, this isn't about children at all.
- 5:35[SPEAKER_02]: We are talking to fathers, dads, uncles, mothers, aunts, grandparents.
- 5:44[SPEAKER_02]: I'm focused on the adult perspective that's involved in their son.
- 5:50[SPEAKER_02]: So again, dear dad, see it through the other shoe slash rest of the lesson.
- 6:05[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to have to defer to you on that when the rest of the lesson for sure.
- 6:09[SPEAKER_01]: See you through, man.
- 6:11[SPEAKER_01]: We all, I sometimes get ahead of the outcome in my mind.
- 6:17[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 6:19[SPEAKER_01]: And I judge the nail by where I am in my mind.
- 6:23[SPEAKER_01]: in at times that dictates how I address the now, right?
- 6:26[SPEAKER_01]: If I think going back to Eli, if in my mind, he should be at a place in sports, right?
- 6:34[SPEAKER_01]: And he's not.
- 6:36[SPEAKER_01]: And I started quitting and I started quitting where he is now with a limitation because he's not where I expect him to be.
- 6:43[SPEAKER_01]: But the C2 portion is developed that thing.
- 6:47[SPEAKER_01]: Make sure he has the resources that he needs, make sure I'm doing my part, make sure that,
- 6:52[SPEAKER_01]: name for me for this whole platform getting the words out, right?
- 6:58[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 6:58[SPEAKER_01]: That thoughts in my head sometimes, um, or to the detriment of others, even when I don't necessarily intended to be that way.
- 7:06[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 7:07[SPEAKER_01]: So making sure that I'm finishing
- 7:11[SPEAKER_01]: my part with them, right?
- 7:13[SPEAKER_01]: If if if I know they need me for a thing, make sure I'm there with them for a thing.
- 7:19[SPEAKER_01]: Same thing we eat in like the first time we went walking, I blew it up.
- 7:25[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I messed the whole thing up.
- 7:27[SPEAKER_01]: I told them day before, you know, we're going walking them on it, hurt you like I got up and it came downstairs and they came outside.
- 7:35[SPEAKER_01]: They both had water bottles.
- 7:37[SPEAKER_01]: And I, I'm not even realizing my tone.
- 7:40[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, y'all need water for my.
- 7:43[SPEAKER_01]: And I get it was saying it now for sure.
- 7:47[SPEAKER_01]: It's terrible.
- 7:48[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 7:49[SPEAKER_01]: But we go for the walk.
- 7:52[SPEAKER_01]: Eden did not enjoy it at all.
- 7:55[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, home, send me a message like, hey, this kind of road me to wrong way.
- 7:59[SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, the distant work.
- 8:01[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to do it no more.
- 8:03[SPEAKER_01]: And in that moment, I had to be like, I had to assess myself like you really.
- 8:09[SPEAKER_01]: do I play into my motion saying that this response is disrespectful or do I actually hear what she's saying about what just about her experience, right?
- 8:18[SPEAKER_01]: So I chose to hear what when she said, um, she didn't go to the next day, but the day after that, we were back rocking.
- 8:25[SPEAKER_01]: And I actually apologize to her, you know, I say, hey, I messed up this one.
- 8:28[SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, I wasn't intending to be offensive and everything we were walking, I look back,
- 8:39[SPEAKER_01]: is day one, right?
- 8:41[SPEAKER_01]: And even though it was my day one of getting back walking for the season, when I walked, I walked three to five.
- 8:48[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 8:48[SPEAKER_01]: So for me, the one was frustrating and I was letting that bleed all over them.
- 8:53[SPEAKER_01]: So the finishing piece of it was having the conversation with her in terms of, yes, I messed up.
- 9:02[SPEAKER_01]: We have to do hard things also, right?
- 9:05[SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna get up every morning.
- 9:05[SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna do something that's uncomfortable because y'all need to start building that.
- 9:09[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 9:10[SPEAKER_01]: And they got that.
- 9:11[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, right?
- 9:12[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like I say, Eli doing the two miles yesterday.
- 9:14[SPEAKER_01]: So it's a me staying present man.
- 9:16[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's rambling.
- 9:17[SPEAKER_02]: No, it's not rambling at all.
- 9:18[SPEAKER_02]: That's walk through the whole.
- 9:20[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, it sounds important.
- 9:21[SPEAKER_01]: Stay present in the lesson and be a combo too.
- 9:24[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
- 9:25[SPEAKER_02]: The.
- 9:27[SPEAKER_02]: To tie in the other shoe portion, we often, that's what teaching our sons and our daughters lessons about life, we front-low the message, like a be kind, a be thoughtful.
- 9:43[SPEAKER_02]: The other shoe is when kind and thoughtfulness no longer applies to a situation.
- 9:51[SPEAKER_02]: I get why it's important to hold or reserve the latter part of the lesson.
- 9:59[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 10:01[SPEAKER_02]: However, because we hold it back, we sometimes never revisit and give the other part, just be that, right?
- 10:09[SPEAKER_02]: Typically, the other part comes out in the moment of need.
- 10:14[SPEAKER_02]: And that's a heck of a time to learn.
- 10:17[SPEAKER_02]: a principal.
- 10:18[SPEAKER_02]: That's lacking.
- 10:19[SPEAKER_02]: That's lacking.
- 10:21[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
- 10:21[SPEAKER_02]: I'm wishing.
- 10:22[SPEAKER_02]: So, I have a few topics where to apply.
- 10:30[SPEAKER_02]: So that it can, because we're not, we're not doctors, coaches, trained professionals.
- 10:38[SPEAKER_02]: This literally,
- 10:40[SPEAKER_02]: The platform is literally based on I tried this this work, or it did not work for me in my household with my children here's perspective for you to choose from use it, lose it, leave it with all mine.
- 10:54[SPEAKER_02]: So however there's the first topic I'm gonna put out there's it's titled just because you don't agree with it doesn't necessarily mean don't learn it.
- 11:10[SPEAKER_00]: often, often, sidebar, I heard a magnificent quote two days ago, and he said, our society as a whole began to change.
- 11:32[SPEAKER_02]: I'm kind of light-harding this day, begin to change when our focus or our approach to education became geared towards a career or a job as opposed to you becoming a will-rounded educated person so that you can forever in your life seek to expand your knowledge.
- 12:00[SPEAKER_02]: the industry, the entities, the money, the jobs, it'll seek you out, because your value is so high as opposed to if I'm tunnel vision, I'm going towards, I don't realize the prerequisites or so that you come out of an institution way around it.
- 12:19[SPEAKER_02]: Often going into college, you wonder why, hey, if I'm going into engineering, why do I have to take philosophy, why do I have to take English, why do I have to take all of these things,
- 12:29[SPEAKER_02]: they contribute to your education, easy.
- 12:33[SPEAKER_02]: So we're so focused on a job, we're job-based.
- 12:36[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I'm not even gonna, I'm going into the psychology.
- 12:41[SPEAKER_02]: Why do I have to take math?
- 12:43[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, so these are the questions we asked because we have tunnel vision now as a pertain to education.
- 12:48[SPEAKER_02]: So because of that, because of that, like I said, that was a sidebar, but I could not get past that portion.
- 12:54[SPEAKER_02]: So when we're talking about, you don't agree with it,
- 12:58[SPEAKER_02]: often if we don't like something, religion will shine or turn a blind eye to the studies or the practices or principles even of other religions because it does not align or we don't even know if it aligns or not.
- 13:15[SPEAKER_02]: It's not our religion.
- 13:17[SPEAKER_02]: So this is all I know.
- 13:18[SPEAKER_02]: This is all I study.
- 13:21[SPEAKER_02]: If you're a steady and you're a foundation with a thing, reading about or learning about something outside of your thing, it creates understanding, not conversion.
- 13:35[SPEAKER_02]: We've, learning it doesn't mean it's going to convert you.
- 13:41[SPEAKER_02]: If you truly are who you are, believe what you believe, know what you know, this enhances
- 13:50[SPEAKER_01]: It meant to be anyway, I think that's the important part.
- 13:54[SPEAKER_01]: You said what I was going to say, having a foundation and a firm foundation and the thing, I think that approach lends itself to the well-rounded aspect of it.
- 14:07[SPEAKER_01]: If you're confused about who you are, just probably a couple of different schools
- 14:16[SPEAKER_01]: seeking everything out, right?
- 14:18[SPEAKER_01]: Some people may argue that that's the thing to figure out your way, right?
- 14:22[SPEAKER_01]: Um, that's not necessarily my position.
- 14:24[SPEAKER_00]: It's each that I own, but certainly understanding at least what you principally believe in.
- 14:35[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right?
- 14:36[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
- 14:37[SPEAKER_01]: And then looking at other information
- 14:45[SPEAKER_01]: for the value of it adding to who you are, right?
- 14:50[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that in good number of ways because if there's a whole bunch of what is right because what if you learned wrong, you could be rooted in wrong.
- 15:00[SPEAKER_01]: If I came up in a house where blue was red and till I come out that house, I don't, there's no conflict action for it, right?
- 15:08[SPEAKER_01]: I get around some other, and if all the houses on the street believe,
- 15:13[SPEAKER_01]: the blue is the true blue and the next day below, please write out a rest of the world, please read is, you know what I'm saying?
- 15:20[SPEAKER_01]: It only, it only comes to light when there's a confliction with what you've.
- 15:29[SPEAKER_01]: been taught, or what you consider to be the truth that you stand on.
- 15:35[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't think there's a way to frame every scenario.
- 15:40[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 15:40[SPEAKER_01]: So what I'm talking about would be rooted in thing.
- 15:43[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 15:44[SPEAKER_01]: At the end of it, be rooted in anything.
- 15:47[SPEAKER_01]: You got to this.
- 15:50[SPEAKER_02]: going into this past week, they had the draft for the NBA.
- 15:58[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it was me.
- 16:01[SPEAKER_02]: I saw it in the lobby of a hotel.
- 16:05[SPEAKER_02]: So there's a common theme.
- 16:08[SPEAKER_02]: I've noticed over the years.
- 16:11[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm knocking it or anything because I can relate on the stand.
- 16:15[SPEAKER_02]: the pride that these athletes, because I don't want to leave the women out, the pride these athletes show once they arrive to the professional level.
- 16:28[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 16:31[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, hey, what was your driving force?
- 16:34[SPEAKER_02]: My parents, my parents, my parents.
- 16:36[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to make my dad proud.
- 16:37[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to make my mom proud.
- 16:39[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to get my parents to a house.
- 16:41[SPEAKER_02]: So I wanted to provide.
- 16:42[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to provide.
- 16:43[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to, my family needs me as admirable that as that is I get it.
- 16:50[SPEAKER_00]: It's very selfless of you to say that, think that, live that, that, that, that, that, that, that.
- 16:57[SPEAKER_00]: That's a lesson, again, of the shoe.
- 17:01[SPEAKER_02]: see in it through, we teach responsibility, we teach selflessness, we teach offer yourself to help or lend a hand.
- 17:14[SPEAKER_02]: So much so that men have bought into the ideology of provider provider provider, no self-check.
- 17:23[SPEAKER_02]: not pertaining to.
- 17:25[SPEAKER_02]: We don't we don't care about self health.
- 17:27[SPEAKER_02]: We don't look into going to the doctor as frequently.
- 17:30[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I got to go to work that I heard that so much grown up from elderly me and uncles and men of the community, but time to be sick.
- 17:38[SPEAKER_02]: I got to go to no doctor man.
- 17:39[SPEAKER_02]: I got to go to work.
- 17:40[SPEAKER_02]: He's be is not stopping this that type of mentality.
- 17:43[SPEAKER_02]: So, because we've taught the lesson of don't be selfish.
- 17:51[SPEAKER_00]: With the other shoe, the other side of seeing that lesson through is, dear son, you need you more than we need you.
- 18:06[SPEAKER_00]: If you run yourself in the ground or deplete yourself,
- 18:12[SPEAKER_02]: You're no good to us or you.
- 18:14[SPEAKER_02]: So the very thing that you're trying to accomplish or satisfy at what cost, if you're sacrificing yourself for someone else.
- 18:26[SPEAKER_02]: It seems oxymoron is because now, imagine I'm trying to be a tool or a vessel for the uplifting of another, but to my own detriment.
- 18:43[SPEAKER_01]: In my experience, that conversation happens too late and even when it happens late and we recognize that it's late, it still stays the cycle.
- 19:00[SPEAKER_01]: Like you same thing, watch my dad, I think I've mentioned it before.
- 19:03[SPEAKER_01]: I remember my dad taking off work because of surgery.
- 19:11[SPEAKER_00]: not because of sickness.
- 19:12[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if he sick, whatever, whatever team would have a vitamin, whatever, whatever it actually is, he going to work.
- 19:21[SPEAKER_01]: But when you can't walk, and then there wasn't a work from home, you know, then his job wasn't really a work from home, John.
- 19:29[SPEAKER_01]: Like you, that becomes ingrained in you, or in me, to
- 19:37[SPEAKER_01]: looking at my father if his condition was worsened or if now he finally realized that he did the rest.
- 19:45[SPEAKER_01]: To me, the model is still okay by 70.
- 19:52[SPEAKER_01]: Around 70, I'm there was time to slow
- 19:59[SPEAKER_01]: It's a cool thing, it's a valid point to make.
- 20:04[SPEAKER_01]: I think our actions drive the cycle more than our conversations can change in the moment.
- 20:12[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 20:12[SPEAKER_01]: So somebody has to decide to live the way that it's supposed to, whatever that violence or I hate that word, whatever that,
- 20:22[SPEAKER_01]: Um, caregiving my list, like somebody has to actually demonstrate it because otherwise, it just becomes a repetitive folklor, my dad, my granddad, my, and it's almost like a, a badge of honor still, yes.
- 20:39[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you right, but I've seen this so many times that somebody has to change it.
- 20:45[SPEAKER_01]: Just like any other miles, financial miles said with all of those things, I think we got to figure out how to move past the point and I'm talking to me, move past the point of being aware of these things and actually changing our life pattern so that at least the cycle disrupts sooner in life than it has been my experience.
- 21:08[SPEAKER_02]: the identity episode to your point.
- 21:11[SPEAKER_02]: If this is my identity as right or wrong as it may be, you're now asking an eagle to be a worm.
- 21:18[SPEAKER_02]: And they're my, you see.
- 21:20[SPEAKER_00]: So it's follow through beginning versus the, I don't want to say the end, but the latter parts of life.
- 21:32[SPEAKER_02]: We have to be mindful of the beginning, the start.
- 21:35[SPEAKER_02]: So another teaching or lesson we share is practice bills habits.
- 21:45[SPEAKER_02]: So they say, hey, put in good practice, good work.
- 21:48[SPEAKER_02]: It's gonna be able to good habit in you.
- 21:51[SPEAKER_02]: Cause you're trying to get to here.
- 21:53[SPEAKER_02]: You're trying to obtain something.
- 21:55[SPEAKER_02]: You're trying to reach a certain level.
- 21:58[SPEAKER_02]: So we teach drive, drive, drive, drive to get to the championship to get to work for this company or in this industry, the other shoe, the other part of the lesson, the see it through portion is you now you have great habits or you have the habits that were necessary
- 22:25[SPEAKER_02]: Now you are amongst others who have those same habits, typically, there are other circumstances where there are people in rooms, say we're placed there, but typically, let's use the pro level of anything, for example, you practice practice drive drive to get to the
- 22:48[SPEAKER_02]: the pro level of something.
- 22:50[SPEAKER_02]: These are all professionals now.
- 22:52[SPEAKER_02]: This is supposed to be the best of the best.
- 22:54[SPEAKER_02]: The elite, the elite.
- 22:56[SPEAKER_02]: So now, what sets the elite apart from the elite?
- 23:01[SPEAKER_02]: The work ethic, the continuation of work, the advancement, the progression, those are the important things.
- 23:09[SPEAKER_02]: So because of that, we're so busy teaching the lesson of get there, get there, get there,
- 23:17[SPEAKER_02]: We're not having a discussion about all of the things that come with being there, sustaining there, advancing from there.
- 23:26[SPEAKER_02]: We've never discussed exit strategy.
- 23:29[SPEAKER_02]: We've never discussed enhancement, expansion.
- 23:34[SPEAKER_02]: So I go get this, get this degree, get this job, and get some money.
- 23:39[SPEAKER_02]: Now what?
- 23:40[SPEAKER_02]: I got the money, what do you want me to do with it?
- 23:42[SPEAKER_02]: You got to do what you want with it.
- 23:44[SPEAKER_02]: wrong.
- 23:44[SPEAKER_02]: That's literally wrong.
- 23:47[SPEAKER_02]: And a second part to that that I was looking at is a prime example of a model employee.
- 23:56[SPEAKER_02]: You'll see it.
- 23:57[SPEAKER_02]: You'll interview someone.
- 23:59[SPEAKER_02]: I worked nice weekends and all of that.
- 24:00[SPEAKER_02]: He's just giving me a chance.
- 24:03[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 24:04[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so bringing you in mail room, your model
- 24:09[SPEAKER_02]: fighting and scratching your way up the ladder, model and play your great.
- 24:13[SPEAKER_02]: And then when you get right there, we ease off the gas because now, the pets on the back are frequent, the accolades are frequent, college, I'm fighting, fighting through high school, I'm trying to get in this certain particular school.
- 24:28[SPEAKER_02]: Now you get to the school, and imagine now I'm not doing the work.
- 24:32[SPEAKER_02]: And to stay at the school, be at the school, just to find me being at the school,
- 24:38[SPEAKER_02]: This can apply the woman, we discuss this in a couple of episodes ago, ask yourself why are you chasing or why do you want that woman?
- 24:48[SPEAKER_02]: If it's just for something superficial, you'll get her.
- 24:54[SPEAKER_02]: You caught the rabbit though, but because now you don't have any plans for, you don't have any future things or goals or yeah, so we can go on and on, we often teach the lesson, work practice, chase, achieve, but now what we're not teaching, post achievement, how to stools the rival, how to stools.
- 25:21[SPEAKER_01]: As you were saying it, man, I'm thinking in my mind, like how many of us are asked to qualify?
- 25:30[SPEAKER_01]: Because some of it is, some of it is, do what go beyond me?
- 25:34[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 25:35[SPEAKER_01]: And there's merit to that.
- 25:37[SPEAKER_01]: There's value in that me.
- 25:39[SPEAKER_01]: You know, my ceiling is your floor kind of thing.
- 25:42[SPEAKER_01]: Well, my ceiling becomes your floor.
- 25:46[SPEAKER_01]: I gotta point to somebody else who has a different ceiling.
- 25:50[SPEAKER_01]: and I got to be okay.
- 25:53[SPEAKER_01]: I got to be okay with you needing something other than what I can provide.
- 25:59[SPEAKER_01]: If I'm saying go beyond me, you're right.
- 26:01[SPEAKER_01]: When we get beyond you, then what?
- 26:05[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, I was just saying.
- 26:06[SPEAKER_01]: I was just saying do more.
- 26:08[SPEAKER_01]: I actually don't even know how you did more than me.
- 26:10[SPEAKER_01]: I was just saying that for you, but that's so that.
- 26:15[SPEAKER_01]: No, you never because it's such a
- 26:19[SPEAKER_01]: a noble thing to say or to do or to even believe like I wanted to, one of the quotes that I've come across is a father is the only person who wants his son to be a better man than him.
- 26:36[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
- 26:36[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 26:39[SPEAKER_01]: But what do you do with that?
- 26:40[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
- 26:41[SPEAKER_01]: That's cool.
- 26:41[SPEAKER_01]: That's the value of saying that yes, take everything I have and go further.
- 26:47[SPEAKER_01]: But when you get to that further part, sometimes it's a nice relation and I've put myself in that position before, like I said, going beyond and corporate than what my parents did, I'm thinking that what did their experience doesn't have value because it didn't go as far as my way, right, was that wanted to not know I probably missed some comments, I know I did because later in life, I got them.
- 27:17[SPEAKER_01]: and you would see the thing because I'm pushing you, that is your there, how much I can, there's only so much value to you that I can be because that is beyond me, it's beyond me.
- 27:29[SPEAKER_01]: And do we actually have conversations about, okay, once beyond me, you might have to seek out some,
- 27:36[SPEAKER_01]: submit to us and I think the value of a parent in that space is still framing the principal things that you might look for the mentor, right?
- 27:45[SPEAKER_01]: Does the character reflect a certain way?
- 27:47[SPEAKER_01]: They'll have an expertise that I don't have, but so you got to look at character's character.
- 27:52[SPEAKER_02]: Character's character.
- 27:53[SPEAKER_01]: This thing's going to be the smartest person and the dumbest person in whatever relationship or in your house or in different areas of life,
- 28:03[SPEAKER_01]: the super expertise in one area and the lack of character in every other area of your life.
- 28:11[SPEAKER_02]: Man, yes.
- 28:13[SPEAKER_01]: Is that how I watched it?
- 28:17[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, personal.
- 28:18[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's like the same.
- 28:20[SPEAKER_02]: And that's why I land like me.
- 28:23[SPEAKER_02]: You be like me, how?
- 28:26[SPEAKER_02]: You this great right here.
- 28:28[SPEAKER_02]: It everything else across you, how?
- 28:33[SPEAKER_02]: following through, finishing what you store, the entire lesson, just talking to my son, two nights ago, we do, we're doing these summer check-ins as a family.
- 28:48[SPEAKER_02]: My son's home from college for those that don't know.
- 28:51[SPEAKER_02]: He's home from college for the summer.
- 28:54[SPEAKER_02]: So my wife, my son, me,
- 28:59[SPEAKER_02]: So often, we sit down and talk about plans, future goals, objectives, etc.
- 29:08[SPEAKER_02]: So this week's conversation, I asked him, I said, what's the big picture?
- 29:15[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what's the goal because everything that I'm hearing in your conversation
- 29:28[SPEAKER_02]: it happens to the best of us.
- 29:31[SPEAKER_02]: I do it with certain things.
- 29:33[SPEAKER_02]: We're so busy in the moment that we're not looking up like you're throwing coal into the the the burner the furnace for the engine.
- 29:43[SPEAKER_02]: But you're not looking up and realizing what about the running to the mountain?
- 29:46[SPEAKER_01]: Like, full power, full, full, full.
- 29:49[SPEAKER_02]: You're staying up to get it all right.
- 29:51[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
- 29:51[SPEAKER_02]: So if you just pick your head up and look at the whole route, perhaps it's supposed to be this low, so it's slow enough to make the turn and go around the mountain.
- 30:00[SPEAKER_02]: But you dump in fuel into the fire.
- 30:03[SPEAKER_00]: You're about to miss the mark, because the momentum misapplied.
- 30:11[SPEAKER_02]: There's fast points, slow points, high points, low points.
- 30:16[SPEAKER_02]: It's not a one size fit all.
- 30:17[SPEAKER_02]: Life is not, it just doesn't work that way.
- 30:20[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care what goal we're working on.
- 30:22[SPEAKER_02]: We have to be mindful that pace, yeah, we have to be mindful of our pace.
- 30:29[SPEAKER_02]: Seficient of cousin of mine, he has a funny saying trying to kill a net with a sledgehammer.
- 30:35[SPEAKER_02]: That's overkill.
- 30:37[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes you'll dump so many resources into one portion of a thing.
- 30:42[SPEAKER_02]: Two things have happened.
- 30:43[SPEAKER_02]: You've oversaturated this effort of this phase.
- 30:47[SPEAKER_02]: And now you've depleted resources that are needed for another phase.
- 30:52[SPEAKER_02]: So this is double negative.
- 30:54[SPEAKER_02]: So because of that, we have to always revisit life is where the project manages of our lives.
- 31:04[SPEAKER_02]: We have to stop, stand back, look at the big picture
- 31:08[SPEAKER_02]: am I on track, perhaps I'm off track of what I thought I should be doing, but this feels so natural.
- 31:17[SPEAKER_02]: And this is a lining so perfectly with more so of purpose than an ideal.
- 31:22[SPEAKER_02]: I'm following in love with I want to go and be a medical doctor.
- 31:27[SPEAKER_02]: But along the way, I picked up this counseling job where I'm mentoring youth to pay my way
- 31:37[SPEAKER_02]: but I'm so in love with what I'm doing over here mentor and these youngsters that I'm starting to miss class and study sessions because there's a little more work to be done over here at this counseling facility.
- 31:51[SPEAKER_02]: I'm off track, but I'm on track for this path, but that's not my goal, but it resonates more with my purpose.
- 32:02[SPEAKER_02]: Now I have to assess what's important to me.
- 32:08[SPEAKER_02]: or am I a love and fascinated with the medical doctor portion?
- 32:13[SPEAKER_02]: Is it because of the accolades or what it looks like?
- 32:16[SPEAKER_02]: The image?
- 32:18[SPEAKER_02]: Because that helps people.
- 32:20[SPEAKER_02]: So perhaps that's what about the medical doctor speaks to me?
- 32:24[SPEAKER_02]: Here we are, project management, after a says, pros and cons.
- 32:28[SPEAKER_02]: Why am I doing that?
- 32:29[SPEAKER_02]: Why am I doing this?
- 32:30[SPEAKER_02]: I thought I was doing this for money, but it turns out I'm really doing this out of passion and love.
- 32:37[SPEAKER_02]: Now I'm doing the medical doctor route for money, attention, social status, or am I truly in love with the opportunity to help people, only you can answer that.
- 32:49[SPEAKER_01]: The first to be that in my family, the above and beyond.
- 32:53[SPEAKER_01]: That's a real thing.
- 32:54[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like I've been missing it before, like that.
- 32:56[SPEAKER_01]: That's the only reason I went to Grand School.
- 32:58[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because my sister did,
- 33:06[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not an indictment on grad school, but speaking of what you're talking about, it's like the why of a thing.
- 33:11[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 33:12[SPEAKER_01]: The why of a good thing.
- 33:14[SPEAKER_01]: Because every good thing isn't your thing.
- 33:17[SPEAKER_01]: It's not.
- 33:17[SPEAKER_01]: Or for you.
- 33:19[SPEAKER_01]: So that's not a very real conversation to have.
- 33:25[SPEAKER_01]: Emani's on that track.
- 33:26[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 33:26[SPEAKER_01]: To be able to be a medical doctor.
- 33:28[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 33:30[SPEAKER_01]: I'm certain this because she wants to be a medical doctor, but I also have to manage
- 33:37[SPEAKER_01]: the additional sauce I put on it by mentioning she's going to be the first.
- 33:41[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 33:41[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 33:41[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 33:41[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 33:41[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 33:42[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 33:42[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like allowing it to be her thing champion it, but don't add too much strain the stress, right?
- 33:51[SPEAKER_01]: And I get some tidal likes like stress makes or test the strength of material.
- 33:56[SPEAKER_01]: I get it.
- 33:58[SPEAKER_01]: There's a place for war.
- 33:59[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 34:00[SPEAKER_01]: But when it's unnecessary, um,
- 34:06[SPEAKER_01]: I got to be my little dad because it's a life.
- 34:08[SPEAKER_01]: It's hard.
- 34:09[SPEAKER_01]: She just went and did that internship pretty much over the next eight years of her life.
- 34:15[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna be.
- 34:17[SPEAKER_02]: And the difficulty is as a parent.
- 34:20[SPEAKER_02]: To be so proud of seeing your children move a certain way, do a certain thing or accomplish goals and having to suppress it to an extent.
- 34:36[SPEAKER_02]: artificially created and outlying source acting on it to manipulate the outcome.
- 34:45[SPEAKER_02]: You could, because the same is equally true on the opposite side.
- 34:53[SPEAKER_02]: Your child is thriving at being an artist too.
- 34:57[SPEAKER_02]: and you in the room punching at the air like, man, I just, this is not what I had in mind for my children.
- 35:04[SPEAKER_02]: Speaking of, oh, my goodness, I'm glad I said that.
- 35:07[SPEAKER_00]: What did universe be working?
- 35:10[SPEAKER_00]: This ties in to seeing it through.
- 35:14[SPEAKER_02]: Seeing it through also has a lot to do with, from a parenting standpoint.
- 35:22[SPEAKER_00]: We are,
- 35:27[SPEAKER_02]: modern-day society adults, more often than not, cause I don't like doing or operating and absolute, absolute.
- 35:37[SPEAKER_02]: We don't think anymore.
- 35:40[SPEAKER_02]: And what I mean is, if you really said down in a plot common sense too, I don't care how offensive that may come across with this topic, a non-qualified, non-proven,
- 35:57[SPEAKER_02]: underdeveloped.
- 35:59[SPEAKER_02]: These are facts, not insults, human being, being given the keys to the world, zero training, zero experience, zero knowledge, and the list goes on and on and on.
- 36:19[SPEAKER_02]: I'm
- 36:24[SPEAKER_02]: Well, who asked, did you even ask your child?
- 36:27[SPEAKER_02]: What they want to do with themselves at three years old?
- 36:33[SPEAKER_02]: You're not talking to me.
- 36:35[SPEAKER_02]: You're not talking to me.
- 36:37[SPEAKER_02]: And you're not going to weaponize sound thinking by calling it, oh, you're a narcissist.
- 36:46[SPEAKER_02]: That's misogynistic.
- 36:48[SPEAKER_02]: That's controlling.
- 36:49[SPEAKER_02]: That's the purpose of a parent.
- 36:54[SPEAKER_02]: Google the word parenting.
- 36:56[SPEAKER_02]: Guidance, structure.
- 37:00[SPEAKER_02]: You're literally teaching and pouring in.
- 37:03[SPEAKER_02]: Children aren't.
- 37:06[SPEAKER_02]: ships just that you just throw out in the water and stand back and let me see what a wind pushes that thing.
- 37:12[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 37:12[SPEAKER_02]: You have to teach navigation.
- 37:14[SPEAKER_02]: You have to teach structure.
- 37:16[SPEAKER_02]: You have to teach logic.
- 37:18[SPEAKER_02]: You have to think that teach thinking and cognitive skills that they're so much that has to be poured into a child.
- 37:27[SPEAKER_02]: And now they're now capable of these things
- 37:34[SPEAKER_02]: too much too soon.
- 37:36[SPEAKER_02]: There's a such thing in parenting as too much too soon.
- 37:39[SPEAKER_02]: I am not about to allow a 16 year old boy or girl to make a lifelong decision on their own without any discussion
- 38:00[SPEAKER_02]: about this decision.
- 38:01[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 38:01[SPEAKER_02]: That's reckless and dangerous.
- 38:03[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 38:04[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's, uh, I get what you're saying.
- 38:07[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 38:08[SPEAKER_01]: Asking the three old, what they want to be.
- 38:10[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's, I get what you're saying.
- 38:18[SPEAKER_01]: As the three old, what they want to be for me is not the problem.
- 38:21[SPEAKER_01]: Asking the three old, how they want to live at three years old is the problem.
- 38:25[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's what I mean, yeah, and I know I know.
- 38:27[SPEAKER_01]: Because somebody's been surprised on the kit well, yes, you don't want your child to know.
- 38:31[SPEAKER_01]: They what's they going to want to be some at three at six and nine and 15.
- 38:35[SPEAKER_01]: And they made me the same thing and they made change.
- 38:37[SPEAKER_01]: So that that wasn't.
- 38:39[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's that's not an issue, but believing their life to chance because they have an opinion about life, I'm with you on that.
- 38:48[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I am.
- 38:52[SPEAKER_01]: big on things are a way in this house, right?
- 38:55[SPEAKER_01]: And you can call that how you want to.
- 38:57[SPEAKER_01]: You can assume that me and my wife are not on the same, but you can assume whatever you want to.
- 39:02[SPEAKER_01]: And it's okay because the blessing of that is, it has nothing to do with your house.
- 39:07[SPEAKER_01]: So none of my parents in takes actually had anything to do with what your house is.
- 39:13[SPEAKER_01]: I say what I experience, you apply the lens of your experience.
- 39:17[SPEAKER_01]: So that's what it stops for me.
- 39:19[SPEAKER_01]: And I actually stopped after I said it.
- 39:22[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm saying so.
- 39:23[SPEAKER_01]: So it's, um, you, I believe our charge for sure is guy, guardrails, and they get wider as they get older, certainly, because as you give them information, as they gain experience and they bounce that against.
- 39:44[SPEAKER_01]: hopefully your wisdom or experience and they are in a position to make better decisions as life progresses.
- 39:51[SPEAKER_01]: I'm all footed.
- 39:53[SPEAKER_01]: But the at 16, because you 16, figure life out how to set it before that.
- 40:02[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not, my goal is not to parent my way out of my tune is lost.
- 40:05[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right, right.
- 40:06[SPEAKER_01]: And whatever A is that I'm still alive.
- 40:08[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
- 40:08[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
- 40:09[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like go figure it out.
- 40:13[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm not with that.
- 40:15[SPEAKER_01]: Do they need guidance?
- 40:18[SPEAKER_01]: Is there a way of this house or their principles that we as a family that I'm responsible for are established?
- 40:26[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes.
- 40:28[SPEAKER_01]: As you experience life, as you're more and more outside this house, maybe you come back with some better information.
- 40:34[SPEAKER_01]: Cool.
- 40:35[SPEAKER_01]: Like I mentioned before,
- 40:38[SPEAKER_01]: the 80, 20, the 85, 15, and best case the 90, 10, did I get right?
- 40:45[SPEAKER_01]: I'll argue with your insecurities on the comments about how you feel about your mom.
- 40:53[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you missed this beat.
- 40:54[SPEAKER_01]: Yup, that was over there in the 15.
- 40:56[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and the 85 really outshined the outperform decided, I promise, I promise.
- 41:04[SPEAKER_02]: And it's how it's going to be.
- 41:07[SPEAKER_02]: Because that's just what it is because I feel like the very thing that you hear complaints about.
- 41:15[SPEAKER_02]: And when I say that, I mean, when people say, oh, this generation is lost or this generation doesn't do this, it's not the generation.
- 41:25[SPEAKER_02]: It's those that were responsible for molding and developing this generation.
- 41:34[SPEAKER_02]: uh... non-knowing child for not knowing something someone is was forever will be responsible for showing sharing guiding leading appointing this person towards that knowledge of that information yeah so because you no no no no I can't tell you everything song
- 42:00[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna tell you everything.
- 42:01[SPEAKER_01]: I know every bit of it and check you gonna get it unless you unless you choose not to get it.
- 42:06[SPEAKER_01]: I promise.
- 42:07[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna come across it.
- 42:08[SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna hear it.
- 42:09[SPEAKER_01]: Turn it off.
- 42:10[SPEAKER_01]: Good luck.
- 42:11[SPEAKER_01]: So I got it.
- 42:13[SPEAKER_02]: That's how I got it.
- 42:14[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 42:14[SPEAKER_02]: So when you're pushing through that,
- 42:18[SPEAKER_02]: It's reckless and I'm not criticizing your parents and if you want to just throw your kid out there and let them play bumper cars with their life, if they want to play bump, you want your kid to play bumper cars with their life, keeping away from my
- 42:46[SPEAKER_02]: just respecting perspective, yeah.
- 42:49[SPEAKER_02]: But we're so busy throwing out respect again, the two sides of the coin, because I'm country people.
- 42:57[SPEAKER_02]: I have a country boy, colloquialisms and colloquialisms and the whole thing, man, I got an exit.
- 43:05[SPEAKER_02]: I'm from the Louisiana, I'm a southern boy.
- 43:08[SPEAKER_02]: So I said,
- 43:13[SPEAKER_02]: You ought to hear some of the stuff I say on the side, I don't call them.
- 43:17[SPEAKER_02]: So, because we teach the front end of the lesson and not the back side, light-heartedly speaking on this, but it's very important that we look at the whole entire double side of the lesson that, yes, we want our children to eventually be free.
- 43:33[SPEAKER_02]: We want them to be free thinkers and decision makers when they're qualified to do so to make sound decisions on their behalf and on the behalf of others because Let's also teach them that what you do affects others.
- 43:48[SPEAKER_02]: Hence I did what I felt like doing in the situation and it landed you in prison or in a graveyard because
- 43:57[SPEAKER_02]: it just happens that it didn't coincide with the law state structure you didn't teach you didn't give structure so therefore you didn't teach structure so now you have a human being walking around thinking structure does not exist doesn't apply to me does not apply to me my parents told me think it won't see it get it whoa whoa
- 44:25[SPEAKER_02]: That could be a motivating speech with context.
- 44:30[SPEAKER_02]: The recklessness of, think it's see it won't get it.
- 44:36[SPEAKER_02]: If I give you no context, that means enemies necessary.
- 44:41[SPEAKER_02]: If I see a land there and it belongs to someone else, take it.
- 44:44[SPEAKER_02]: That's called stealing.
- 44:45[SPEAKER_02]: So you have to teach the intricate parts of the lesson in between so that we see this whole lesson through because if I don't give you the context of the actions, then you just out here aimlessly, recklessly wandering through life, hoping it turns out all right for you.
- 45:04[SPEAKER_01]: I saw a post, I can't remember if you was on IG, a TikTok, it's probably on both.
- 45:10[SPEAKER_01]: But it was a video started with a lady saying, can we normalize teaching our kids not to head back when they even hit?
- 45:18[SPEAKER_01]: And it was a step, so another guy came here was saying, no, we can not do that.
- 45:23[SPEAKER_01]: Can we normalize teaching our children that causes happiness, right?
- 45:27[SPEAKER_01]: Please, my actions have consequences.
- 45:29[SPEAKER_01]: And it was as laughable with that,
- 45:34[SPEAKER_01]: that's a very defined coin and there are people equally on both sides.
- 45:38[SPEAKER_01]: So to the extent of the other shoe or beyond beyond what we want to be normal, the children got to be prepared for that.
- 45:46[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 45:47[SPEAKER_01]: Because if you only teach, keep your hands to yourself, certainly, that very idealistic way to live life, right?
- 45:59[SPEAKER_01]: with somebody's hands are in peating on your safety.
- 46:04[SPEAKER_01]: And the normal structure of your face and your teeth.
- 46:08[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like it, like you got everything is not always one thing, right?
- 46:14[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's where there could be a loss of trust in those situations because if it's only one way there's only
- 46:23[SPEAKER_01]: this perspective of a thing and then life shows you or gives you a scenario where that thing don't work right right now you with the best of intentions as a parent has set your child up for whatever that moment gives your child right and it's not that that moment would never happen but I'm not going to have a conversation with my children about defending themselves
- 46:53[SPEAKER_01]: Why I didn't, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
- 47:19[SPEAKER_01]: success, even having had with some may call a decent level of success.
- 47:26[SPEAKER_01]: My whole story is I know how to manage it.
- 47:29[SPEAKER_01]: So imagine me telling my kids, go do way more than I do.
- 47:33[SPEAKER_01]: Please, please, I'll shine on me.
- 47:35[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to tell you how to deal with it, but please, 10 next that thing.
- 47:40[SPEAKER_01]: And that's, that's dangerous.
- 47:42[SPEAKER_02]: Super dangerous.
- 47:43[SPEAKER_02]: The importance behind the statement you made about, I don't know how to tell you how to deal with it.
- 47:49[SPEAKER_02]: Goals back to the principle, tie it to education from the beginning.
- 47:55[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to teach you the answers.
- 47:58[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to teach you exactly how to move.
- 48:02[SPEAKER_02]: I want to teach you the process of how to develop your self in this environment.
- 48:08[SPEAKER_02]: You find yourself in a new environment that no one's ever spoken to you about.
- 48:13[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have the answers.
- 48:15[SPEAKER_02]: The foundation you do have.
- 48:17[SPEAKER_02]: You have the foundation of who I am, who I'm rooted in.
- 48:21[SPEAKER_02]: and how does that look in this environment?
- 48:25[SPEAKER_02]: I know how to go research, read, discuss, talk, communicate, seek guidance from a qualified individual.
- 48:33[SPEAKER_02]: If I give you these tools, it's in your tool bay.
- 48:37[SPEAKER_02]: So as you walk into every situation, imagine you're going
- 48:51[SPEAKER_02]: to walk him through every single electrical scenario he'll ever possibly see in the history of mankind.
- 49:01[SPEAKER_02]: Fundamentals, this is your, this is how you problems all high ground troubles you.
- 49:07[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
- 49:08[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody, this keep your life here.
- 49:10[SPEAKER_02]: You keep these principles in your pocket.
- 49:13[SPEAKER_02]: Your lives, so I'm gonna get you two back.
- 49:15[SPEAKER_02]: Look, assess.
- 49:17[SPEAKER_02]: a dad, let's go.
- 49:18[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, same for life.
- 49:20[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, the side, uh, side of the mark is man.
- 49:26[SPEAKER_01]: We call him haste, haste, name from back in the day.
- 49:31[SPEAKER_01]: When he first got his car, man, his, uh, number one, he moved from
- 49:38[SPEAKER_01]: His pops was doing well and they relocated into another neighborhood.
- 49:42[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, not from neighborhood, but from the crew that I run with, they all kind of stayed in one place.
- 49:48[SPEAKER_01]: And then he, uh, rooted in what's another place that was very different than the other neighborhood, right?
- 49:54[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 49:54[SPEAKER_01]: So his first call, he got a new call, Tercel, the turk, come on, a turk, right?
- 50:08[SPEAKER_01]: No power, no, no, it was, it was, it was a new car, so it was reliable, but didn't have all the bells and whistles and it's probably like you got to learn that fool came around the way, right, to show off the new car.
- 50:20[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 50:20[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you know, let's get in.
- 50:21[SPEAKER_01]: Let's ride.
- 50:22[SPEAKER_01]: Got in the car.
- 50:24[SPEAKER_01]: And you see his demeanor kind of change.
- 50:27[SPEAKER_01]: Start driving.
- 50:28[SPEAKER_01]: He takes all right turns.
- 50:30[SPEAKER_01]: because he's still trying to, he's still trying to learn.
- 50:34[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to have to come in the cross traffic.
- 50:37[SPEAKER_01]: He's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just,
- 51:00[SPEAKER_01]: I'm poor, but still be on the same block.
- 51:02[SPEAKER_01]: That's the same.
- 51:04[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
- 51:05[SPEAKER_01]: But that's it, but that's it.
- 51:07[SPEAKER_01]: But there's less in the net to the left.
- 51:09[SPEAKER_01]: There's less to that.
- 51:10[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 51:11[SPEAKER_01]: Giving somebody something.
- 51:14[SPEAKER_01]: and leaving it to them to counter-counter-figure out, right?
- 51:17[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
- 51:17[SPEAKER_01]: That wasn't the case, but that was a maturation, that was a learning process.
- 51:23[SPEAKER_01]: That was uncomfortable with this part of it.
- 51:26[SPEAKER_01]: I don't get on the interstate yet.
- 51:27[SPEAKER_01]: All of that requires seeing through, so just because you know how to drive, doesn't mean you can get far.
- 51:33[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 51:34[UNKNOWN]: But.
- 51:35[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 51:37[SPEAKER_01]: Right, turns hate.
- 51:39[SPEAKER_01]: My God.
- 51:43[SPEAKER_02]: What do you want to see out with the people today, man?
- 51:46[SPEAKER_01]: Man, uh, at 200.
- 51:48[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, just this, this is probably 198.
- 51:53[SPEAKER_01]: So it's going to be, uh, the clock is upon us.
- 51:57[SPEAKER_01]: The clock is upon us.
- 51:58[SPEAKER_01]: To do that, we're going to do it.
- 52:00[SPEAKER_01]: And the thing about this, I want 200.
- 52:01[SPEAKER_01]: 200 will be, it's going to be special either way.
- 52:04[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 52:07[SPEAKER_01]: But I think that there's an opportunity to really accelerate.
- 52:12[SPEAKER_02]: After that, yes, yes, I'm going live on social media today or by the time you see this it already have happened But you should still be going live when they see this Absolutely, I'm gonna talk about that because you've been going live and then you go live the one time Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 52:42[SPEAKER_02]: a big grand audience for the 200.
- 52:44[SPEAKER_02]: Like, it's kind of fine out of if everybody want to be in the room, because it can happen.
- 52:52[SPEAKER_02]: Like, we have the connections and the resources to venue layout live goal.
- 53:00[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 53:02[SPEAKER_02]: But,
- 53:04[SPEAKER_02]: Because there is a lot of push right now to say, hey, man, whatever, whatever to the lives, holidays, guys, the summer snuck up on us to see World Cup is in town.
- 53:14[SPEAKER_02]: It's shut down a lot of avenues and venues and places.
- 53:18[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, we're right here in Arlington for the DFW area.
- 53:21[SPEAKER_02]: So, we had the Formula One race car race came in and took over Arlington and then shortly thereafter, they closed a lot of things down public access.
- 53:32[SPEAKER_02]: for a world cup.
- 53:34[SPEAKER_02]: I haven't been over there.
- 53:36[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I've been through there.
- 53:38[SPEAKER_02]: You can navigate but if something's a game or a match or something is happening, hang it up.
- 53:44[SPEAKER_02]: So again, we're going to, well, let's find out because either way, it's here and I'm talking,
- 53:54[SPEAKER_02]: a week after 4th of July, like that 10th, 11th, slow rolling and as if we slow rolled that boy.
- 54:03[SPEAKER_02]: So let's see, let's see, if not, it'll equally be great because that's a milestone and we're absolutely proud of it.
- 54:12[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, absolutely proud of it.
- 54:13[SPEAKER_02]: That's speaking to see it through 100 episodes has nothing to scoff it because it's not like how the
- 54:20[SPEAKER_02]: Some of the sporting venues now, they'll do championships here.
- 54:27[SPEAKER_02]: He's named it like me, and it's such a so-and-so number 3,122.
- 54:31[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you do 10 a day, but either way, 200 episodes of content.
- 54:38[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, that's the part to look at.
- 54:39[SPEAKER_02]: Like I can, you can sit in front of a camera 200 times.
- 54:43[SPEAKER_02]: but as far as the conversation, how intriguing it is, the interaction, the audience, it's engaging, and we're steadily growing, guys.
- 54:53[SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited about the growth.
- 54:54[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it might affect if anything in this episode resonated with you, tell somebody about it.
- 55:00[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, please.
- 55:01[SPEAKER_01]: That is the most certain way, the most effective way to help to show a growth, like sharing subscribe is cool.
- 55:11[SPEAKER_01]: but tell somebody that you like, man, it's helped me.
- 55:13[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 55:14[SPEAKER_01]: Like, y'all tell us, yes, tell somebody else.
- 55:16[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, also we're two things.
- 55:19[SPEAKER_02]: Got the P on P on mine.
- 55:21[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 55:21[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to cover for A song, something.
- 55:23[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, we said a month ago.
- 55:25[SPEAKER_02]: I was on silent last night.
- 55:27[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 55:28[SPEAKER_01]: He shut it down early.
- 55:30[SPEAKER_01]: Matter of fact, he just came down and said, she's not thought you were going out.
- 55:33[SPEAKER_01]: I said, we back.
- 55:34[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, I know you had a thing to do.
- 55:37[SPEAKER_01]: I did, yeah, but still facts, facts.
- 55:39[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thank you.
- 55:40[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the next one we go out of North, on camera.
- 55:43[SPEAKER_02]: So we were supposed to get a room.
- 55:47[SPEAKER_02]: Began, oh, oh, no, I didn't, I didn't know.
- 55:50[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't close down that because now you've been at a whole other lane to it.
- 55:54[SPEAKER_02]: However, the unhinged, we told the people we have an episode
- 56:04[SPEAKER_02]: the 30th of year was that may that was supposed to drop in May, because who's supposed to have an episode of one, he ends up by May 30th.
- 56:14[SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of the first week of July.
- 56:17[SPEAKER_02]: And we haven't dropped a, a, a peep word about unhinged yet.
- 56:23[SPEAKER_02]: So I'd like to ask you on Cameron from the
- 56:31[SPEAKER_02]: I was, I was queuing up in his shoes, but they don't matter.
- 56:33[SPEAKER_02]: They don't matter.
- 56:34[SPEAKER_02]: Who cares?
- 56:35[SPEAKER_02]: Don't matter.
- 56:36[SPEAKER_02]: I think he went out of town and everything.
- 56:38[SPEAKER_02]: The last week of May.
- 56:39[SPEAKER_02]: Then you, he lived on his own.
- 56:42[SPEAKER_01]: For seven months.
- 56:44[SPEAKER_01]: Memorial, those were used.
- 56:47[SPEAKER_01]: the week before more the weekend before more okay.
- 56:50[SPEAKER_02]: I just know that are, you know, you know, I'm a lot of traveling been going on.
- 56:55[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm guilty.
- 56:56[SPEAKER_02]: I travel a lot as way or so.
- 56:57[SPEAKER_02]: The show must go on.
- 56:58[SPEAKER_02]: The show must, hey, in July, in July, we will have an episode.
- 57:06[SPEAKER_02]: The first episode of many of unhinged.
- 57:09[SPEAKER_02]: The show drop.
- 57:12[SPEAKER_02]: Show drop.
- 57:13[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, show must go on people.
- 57:15[SPEAKER_00]: Ding ding.
- 57:17[SPEAKER_02]: So, I'll leave it there, I, I, I, I got saves on for the people, man.
- 57:27[SPEAKER_02]: So, be mine for guy.
- 57:29[SPEAKER_02]: I got a really good excuse.
- 57:31[SPEAKER_02]: Show them what's going on.
- 57:36[SPEAKER_02]: Follow through and listen, man.
- 57:40[SPEAKER_00]: Stay tuned because we just completed, oh my goodness, man.
- 57:48[SPEAKER_00]: The second quarter of the year.
- 57:50[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, Q3 is up.
- 57:52[SPEAKER_00]: We in Q3.
- 57:54[SPEAKER_02]: Half the year is gone.
- 57:56[SPEAKER_02]: We in Q3.
- 58:00[SPEAKER_02]: Get on the gas, people get on the gas.
- 58:02[SPEAKER_02]: What's it got?
- 58:02[SPEAKER_02]: I'm good.
- 58:05[SPEAKER_02]: Continue to support, deer sign network.
- 58:10[SPEAKER_02]: Something I asked about to show to the day.
- 58:11[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that's what I was gonna say.
- 58:13[SPEAKER_02]: Shirts, merchandise.
- 58:15[SPEAKER_02]: The demand for shirts are really, really high right now.
- 58:19[SPEAKER_02]: the website.
- 58:21[SPEAKER_02]: It's on the website.
- 58:23[SPEAKER_02]: It's on the podcast.com.
- 58:25[SPEAKER_02]: The DS on podcast.com.
- 58:27[SPEAKER_01]: It's often in the bio.
- 58:28[SPEAKER_01]: It's in the right up.
- 58:30[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but you got, you got to, I mean, just advertising to him.
- 58:32[SPEAKER_01]: You got to show somebody something.
- 58:34[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, with the 16, 17 type with it, it's grown since I've been in college.
- 58:39[SPEAKER_01]: Before us, you show him seven times in his 12s, I don't know if he's up to 21 then before people actually, before people take action.
- 58:47[SPEAKER_01]: So I get it.
- 58:48[SPEAKER_02]: These shirts that you see us wearing are absolutely available for purchase.
- 58:52[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
- 58:53[SPEAKER_02]: They're customizable.
- 58:55[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
- 58:55[SPEAKER_02]: Reach out.
- 58:56[SPEAKER_02]: We'll we'll go over that with you, but you can you could pick your color.
- 59:01[SPEAKER_02]: Get to several several.
- 59:03[SPEAKER_02]: Several.
- 59:04[SPEAKER_02]: I have several.
- 59:05[SPEAKER_02]: I have a following in Houston that they they outfit them boys out.
- 59:09[SPEAKER_02]: They go by the shoes and then they send a picture to shoes like, hey, the shot.
- 59:14[SPEAKER_02]: I want to shirt the master's port and the letters the master's port.
- 59:17[SPEAKER_02]: It's very capable, it happens, it's a thing.
- 59:20[SPEAKER_02]: So with that being said, continue to support the dear son network.
- 59:23[SPEAKER_02]: We'll see you on the next episode, chasing 200 years shortly.
- 59:27[SPEAKER_02]: Peace.