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Turn Passion into Success with Denise Joy Thompson · Authentic Living

• 0:31
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a global voice Radio.
• 0:36
  Join Roxanne Derhodge and her thought provoking conversations, the catalyst to live your life
• 0:42
  to the fullest.
• 0:58
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:59
  It's, Rob Sandor Derhodge again.
• 1:02
  The author of, Therapace insider guide and your host of authentic living with Roxanne.
• 1:07
  Thanks so much for joining me yet again.
• 1:09
  It's, it's pleasurable each and every one of these, podcasts.
• 1:14
  And today, I have someone, very special, where the tables are turns for the first time.
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  And this is, lovely Denise Thompson.
• 1:25
  She is the, actually, the owner of Local Voice Radio that I do authentic living with, Roxanne
• 1:32
  on her her platform.
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  So Denise brings, Denise and I actually have quite a lot in common.
• 1:39
  And, other than the way maybe we practice is a little bit different.
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  She started in the military about, when she was quite young like I did in, in, as a
• 1:48
  psychotherapist, as a social worker, in the military.
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  She dealt with a lot of, concerns that would come up with the average, person in the
• 1:56
  military, complex PTSD, child abuse, trauma, and obviously combat related concerns.
• 2:04
  So, concerns that would come up on the front line.
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  She's originally from Iowa.
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  She now lives in, Texas, which is a lot nicer than Niagara Falls.
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  We're getting a little bit of sunlight here today.
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  And she the one thing that Denise, does is she loves to travel, and she just shared with me,
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  that she loves travel to the Caribbean.
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  And I said, well, guess what?
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  That to me will have to be a stop for us, and we'll have to plan something.
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  And bring a retreat, with a global voice radio.
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  Maybe we'll have we'll do it in Tobago at a really nice, venue there.
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  So along with being the owner of Global Voice Radio, she also, has authored, living living
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  with gratitude daily, and this is a second edition.
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  I was, privileged to be, featured as a co author in a second edition, in January, and
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  that has done really, really well on Amazon.
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  And overall, I would say that, Denise talks about a lot of the same things that I do, which
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  is authenticity, being visible and really believing in yourself, which is, I think, as
• 3:12
  such phenomenal things that we could bring forward today.
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  If we can do that with more people, what a better place it would be for a lot of people,
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  to live in, in this world.
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  So, Denise, I hope I did your, you know, your bio, I, you know, justice, but is there
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  anything that you think would be good for the listeners to know about you and, that I
• 3:33
  probably missed it in the, in the intro.
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  Only thing that has evolved in my life, you know, as you mentioned, I went into the
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  military when I was 25, And so I have 27 plus years with the military.
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  I have 30 years as a therapist.
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  And so I've been transitioning from that into being a coach, into creating plat a global
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  voice radio, to help individuals to be visible, to make sure that they're sharing their
• 4:05
  message.
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  And I think in our world today, The more that each one of us shares our message and we listen
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  to one another, we're able to support one another.
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  I think that's how we're really going to create change and to make the world a better place.
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  So I think that's really my message, and I think that that's really an important part of
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  who I am becoming, from my previous life.
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  And, once we hit our late forties, early fifties, you know, we look at reinventing
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  ourselves.
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  And so I'm loving my life.
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  I love what I create, and I hope that I'm able to to share that and encourage others.
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  Because, obviously, you're coming from bureaucratic structures.
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  Like, I I know we both have worked actually my very first position, in the field of
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  psychotherapy was with the Metro Toronto Police.
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  So really coming from original jobs where And in your case, long time in a bureaucratic
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  structure, to, to the kind of platform that you created now, which is really about almost
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  deconstructing the bureaucratic structures to allow a voice, you know, what a, what a
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  pendulum swing really, because within those bureaucratic structures, sometimes it's
• 5:21
  difficult because there are certain things that, are hard to get through, somewhat today
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  with Global Voice Radio, and So I'm obviously one of the, you know, the people on your
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  podcast, and you have been growing, this network at a a rapid, you know, exponential
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  rate.
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  So tell me, tell me what that's been like.
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  I know when you and I met, you know, I often say to people, the, the power of networking.
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  So you and I, I think we kinda ran across each other.
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  You were on a platform, a coaching platform, you had put something out about talking to
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  people that could speak on resilience.
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  I happened upon it.
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  I don't often go on their side.
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  I don't know if that I've gone back since.
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  Nor can I remember the name?
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  I saw what you were asking for.
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  I sent you a message, and you said, Hey, let's have a conversation.
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  And that was all it was.
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  And from that mini little conversation, which ended up being, like, 45 minutes, because we
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  were still seeing, came the wet the way you said, Hey, would you consider being, you know,
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  on a podcast?
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  And that was not even something that I had really been on my radar at all.
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  So the power of being able to be just aligned, and you never know where that alignment's gonna
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  come from.
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  Amazing with social media today, how you can meet people from around the world.
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  You know, you're in Toronto.
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  I'm in Texas.
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  And we were able to connect and then have this conversation.
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  And to find commonalities also, but also I think sometimes it's the energy of the
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  individuals who are connecting.
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  And so I created Global Voice Radio to provide a comprehensive supportive platform.
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  For individuals to share their voice because sometimes it's difficult to figure out how am I
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  gonna share my message?
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  How am I going to reach more people And when we reach more people, we're able to help more
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  people.
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  So from my perspective, And I had a a business coach who had said selling is sacred service.
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  And not that I necessarily, you know, we were were connecting and not that I necessarily want
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  to sell per se, But if I don't share what global voice radio is and what global voice
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  radio can provide to someone, then I'm withholding information.
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  And I think that's one of the things when I work with other individuals who are building
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  their business We need to share, we need to sell and I put that in air quotes because
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  somebody might want it.
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  And if we're withholding our gifts, our skills, our talents, then we are not helping the world
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  to change.
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  So I do believe in sharing what we do so that individuals can decide this is fit in my life,
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  in my business with my message, or it doesn't, but you never know when they might want it or
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  need.
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  Absolutely.
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  And, you know, that affinity, like you said, you and I have now probably done about 4 of
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  these and kind of chitchatted generally by, you know, texting or whatever, but I have a real
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  sense of you, and that's what that's what the alignment was that I felt, you know, so as much
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  as sometimes we say, you know, the internet and what it's done for us, the capacity to be able
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  to reach out to someone like you, where we have so much in common I really would not have had
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  that capacity, say, say, 25, 3 years ago when I started in the field, because, just, we just
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  didn't have the infrastructure to be able to, to, you know, reach out and meet someone, say,
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  Hey, I admire your work.
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  If I found out about you, it would be take a long process.
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  And now today, if, if, you know, if if I'm thinking of meeting someone, that's an in
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  alignment with what I believe, which is truly where we are gift, we are authentic.
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  We bring 1, 1 value.
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  And so the, you know, if All you need to do is select people feel that experience, and then
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  they will deal with you if they have a need, not that I have to say to someone, you know,
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  you have to deal with me.
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  Absolutely not because there's such abundance out there in reference to what your online
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  message is.
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  And there will be people that I hope that are listening that will go to Denise and deal with
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  Denise because even though we may have this different different brand, there is an energy
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  to Denise that's different from mine.
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  And there's so much out there that, you know, so long as we're making the difference, in the
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  world, to me, it's that net that you put out there, and you're gonna pull in what what's
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  attracted to you to be able to get that voice out.
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  And for me, as a young girl, always wanting to use my voice.
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  And at times, having had, that ability taken away from me it really became something that, I
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  wanted to do, and didn't realize when I was an adult that this platform something like this
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  would exist.
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  So for anyone out there, that has that, you know, and people will say, well, you're a
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  psychotherapist.
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  She's a social worker.
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  You still have a message.
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  You don't have to have a particular professional background to get on a podcast.
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  Yes.
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  Does it take some practice?
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  Absolutely.
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  But it you get better as you go.
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  Well, you know, one of the things that I think, about connecting is previously we might not
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  have known how isolated we were.
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  Some individuals never travel outside of their community or their state.
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  And now we can reach out almost anyone in the world.
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  And I want to encourage our listeners if you have not connected with people outside of your
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  country.
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  If you are not taking advantage of connecting across social media.
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  I mean, that really is how we grow.
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  That is how we create connections that we can support one another, regardless of our country,
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  our culture.
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  And I think that it helps us to have a deeper understanding of what is going on in the world
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  today You know, since March's Women's History Month in the US and we celebrate International
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  Women's Day, I have been reaching out to women around the world and interviewing them.
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  You were one of my featured women for March.
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  Thank you, Roxanne.
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  And so I've connected with women in Kenya and Pakistan in Cameroon who are doing wonderful
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  things who are creating schools, who are, creating businesses, and I wouldn't have known
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  that.
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  If I wasn't connecting with people on the on social media, but also if I had not decided to
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  step a little outside of my box right, my comfort zone.
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  I'm going to connect with people and ask them, can we talk about women?
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  On the, you know, on global voice radio, are you willing?
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  So I didn't know these individuals.
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  Now they were doing things that I admired and that fit with my values.
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  So I had an expectation that they probably would say yes And it goes back to Roxanne what
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  you said earlier about authenticity and connecting with individuals.
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  And then we never know where that connection can go.
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  So you and I, I see us, having a meeting, having a retreat in tobacco.
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  Why wouldn't we?
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  We both, you know, you're from there.
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  I love the Caribbean, so it makes sense to pool our resources and to do something like that.
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  And that is the power, you know, of like energy, of connecting, having similar morals
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  and values.
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  And to me, the sky is the limit of what we as individuals and what we as a collective can
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  create.
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  And you know what?
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  Another thing that I'd I'm gonna ask you this question because this is something that I often
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  go with and you know, when I'm reaching out to people and I get, a visceral reaction that
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  they're they're just not in line.
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  When I was younger, I would always try to, like, understand, like, why did that happen?
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  And, you know, I've I've really, really tried to kind of go through it in my mind and say,
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  well, why didn't they get what trying to say it?
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  Why couldn't they see the vision?
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  Or and, even this morning, I was making a couple of, calls for an event and I'm planning.
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  And I got one reaction from someone that was, kind of ego based.
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  And I looked at I I listened to it, and I said, Wow.
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  I said, you know, thank you for your time.
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  It's, you know, thanks for taking the time this morning to be able to understand what I'm
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  trying to do, and it's, it's an event, with Brian Cuban, who's gonna talk about mental
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  health and addictions here in, in, in Toronto.
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  And the ego that I got from this individuals just threw me back.
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  And when I was younger, I would try to understand, like, did I say something, or, or,
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  you know, did I not position it prop?
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  And now I just looked at it and said, okay, no problem.
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  Thank you so much.
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  You know, if you're interested, I'll let you know about the event, have a great day.
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  Right?
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  So I think as you go along, and I don't know if you've had that experience where it's almost
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  like, when I get that, that feeling in my, my tummy or my body, I and I go, oh, okay.
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  We're not on the right path.
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  We're not aligned for the same things.
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  It's okay.
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  You know, you can keep on your journey versus kind of me trying to bring you all along on my
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  journey.
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  Do you find that a lot of times when because I know you've, you've just wrapped up a lot of
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  the, podcasters, on global voice radio lately, Is that how you I'm gonna assume that's how you
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  do it, but how do you kind of decide who will end up on, on, on global voice radio?
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  It's the connection that is created
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  during our conversation.
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  And the people who say yes are the ones who see the vision.
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  The ones who see how not just today Is this a good decision for them from a personal or
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  business perspective?
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  But they see what it can bring to them in the future.
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  And also, which all of us go through this thought, the individuals that global voice
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  radio fits with So far, are not the individuals who ask about, well, how much does it cost?
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  Because in some ways, yes, there's a monetary cost the visibility, the experience, the
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  connections, it it's priceless.
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  And a lot of individuals who have products will say that Right?
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  Well, this is the financial investment, but the benefit and outcome is priceless.
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  You and I have bought products services because of that line, probably.
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  But it really is looking at, and I think too, like you had said earlier, Who is connecting
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  with me as a person?
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  Who is hearing my authenticity?
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  Who is hearing my passion?
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  Who is seeing why I built this, and it really is to, you know, support individuals who
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  otherwise wouldn't understand the technology or would it have the time or all of the other
• 17:33
  details that go into having a show?
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  And a few years ago, I had an opportunity to do something similar with someone else but they
• 17:45
  weren't providing all the support.
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  And when I was trying to figure out on my own, oh, I need an intro and an exit.
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  I need to upload it down there.
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  I didn't understand it.
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  And so out of that lack of support came, I'm going to put together this comprehensive code
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  am and has like minded heart centers people.
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  Though I don't know how to advertise it that way per se, but all of the individuals have
• 18:13
  been attracted to the energy, not only of myself because they listen to the other hosts.
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  And so they see how positive and supportive that global dose radio is.
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  And then they join us.
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  So everybody has fit in with one another.
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  To me, it's like a family.
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  And, And so I'm really enjoying the positive aspects and what are you receiving from
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  everybody?
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  Which is amazing.
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  Right?
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  So it's just that align internal alignment, and you know what's I did I just recently did a
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  podcast with someone that's pretty big and, you know, working with celebrities.
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  And it's interesting what he said.
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  So here we are.
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  We see these, you know, big people on screen.
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  And he said, The one thing about them is that they are authentic.
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  He says when they get into the space that they are, they are drawing on real experiences you
• 19:15
  know, when you see somebody completely, you know, crying or, or emoting basing on something
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  tragic, they're pulling up stuff from their lives.
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  And he talked about the importance of people experiencing that realness, when you are you
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  know, when people are getting to know you.
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  So if I were to know you, if I were to come down to Texas, I, I think I know what you would
• 19:39
  be like just because of my feeling and the time I've spent with you, and he talked about that
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  important.
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  So to try to be somebody else, what you do is in In fact, you cripple your capacity to join
• 19:51
  with others.
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  And he said that, a lot of the people that he worked with over the years was to really say to
• 19:57
  them, tapping tap into the uniqueness of who you are because that's what people want.
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  They want the unpolished.
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  They want, oh, boy.
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  I just said that, but I shouldn't have said that.
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  They because they realize after a while, that's really who you are.
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  Versus, you know, the photoshopped edited, you know, kind of sizzle reel that shows everything
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  positive, the raw, more, kind of live stuff he was saying is really what creates that
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  following, which is probably what you're, you're talking about with global voice.
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  It's people kind of aligning and saying, I wanna make a difference in the world.
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  I wanna highlight people's voices.
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  I wanna show so much strength in the world that, you know, far reaches of the world, how
• 20:44
  would you, how would you How would you kind of get that out there without a platform,
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  something like yours?
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  Because, not having this support.
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  Something you said Roxanne reminded me, something I read on Facebook earlier, this
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  morning, in fact, that someone was posting about, well, I'm now going to be myself on
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  Facebook.
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  And I sort of wondered, well, who was she being before?
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  I mean, for me, I'm pretty honest.
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  I mean, yes, at times, I can stop my thoughts, so I'm not rude.
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  Right?
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  There are things that I'm like, okay.
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  I can't just say that.
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  Right?
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  You gotta put the filter back on.
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  You go, oh, okay.
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  That filters off.
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  Right.
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  But most of the 99% of the time, because, you know, I I don't swear that often.
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  I'm not rude on purpose.
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  So most of the time, I don't have a problem commenting on Facebook or posting on Facebook.
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  I mean, one of the things I don't do, if I'm having a bad day, because I believe in quickly
• 21:55
  switching my thoughts from negative and having a bad day to looking at something positive.
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  Yes.
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  I do not.
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  90 9.9 percent of the time, I don't post negative per se, but I'll post honest.
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  And so to me, because I am so honest or because, you know, in sometimes I comment on
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  political posts, I don't know how to hide per se.
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  I don't know how not to be me.
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  And sometimes that has helped tremendously in life.
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  And sometimes, you know, I've been very honest about my thoughts and opinions, and maybe that
• 22:35
  has you know, turned away an opportunity or turned away a person, but then that wasn't to
• 22:42
  be.
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  Right?
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  Like, when you had talked to the person about your event, for whatever reason then, at that
• 22:48
  time, the energy wasn't such that the 2 of you should collaborate.
• 22:54
  And in a month, it could turn out to be energetically aligned or it might not.
• 23:00
  And in some ways, that's what we have to accept that it is okay that at times someone says no,
• 23:09
  where it's not the right time, and then we just go on to the other person.
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  We go on to another task and not take it personal.
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  Because it's not personal.
• 23:21
  Absolutely.
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  And I think that's what I was saying.
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  You know, the the wisdom of of age and just, keeping positive and recognizing that I have
• 23:29
  this this this vision get mental health and awareness out there, and it's an opportunity,
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  in my opinion, you know, to be able to get in front of a lot of companies that would believe
• 23:42
  in the same, based on who I'm asking.
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  So to me, I look at it.
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  It's a win win, obviously.
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  But, you know, that person came from an ego base kind of, well, I'm always the one, you
• 23:56
  know, leading the charge.
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  And I, and I said, Oh, I appreciate that.
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  That's great.
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  Thank you.
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  But, you know, in this realm, you know, we've got the, the, the person that will be the
• 24:06
  headliner.
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  But I think you're right.
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  It's it's, you know, I often go back to, again, listening to what's coming on the inside out to
• 24:15
  you and acknowledging it and sometimes you can say, I'm having that thought and looking at it
• 24:23
  and not, like you said, making a definitive long term decision based on what the
• 24:27
  interaction is with someone at that time.
• 24:29
  But if something flutters with, you know, inside to kind of say, oh, I should I should be
• 24:33
  aware that something in me is getting triggered, and what's it saying about what's
• 24:38
  where's that that person triggering something, or what are they really saying, and to kind of,
• 24:45
  you know, kind of bookmark it and go back to it.
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  And if it's a theme or a pattern, which we know, in our field, you kind of go, okay.
• 24:53
  What's this pattern?
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  You know, how does it serve me?
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  Does it bring me closer to where I need to get, or is it kinda getting me the further
• 24:59
  direction?
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  And what role am I playing in it, and what can I change?
• 25:03
  Right?
• 25:03
  So those are the, the kind of the introspective, perspectives, which I know we do
• 25:08
  not because we, we, we're trained in that, but really the average person could also do the
• 25:12
  same kind of go, well, you know, what am I feeling?
• 25:15
  You know, and, you know, does this fit for me or not?
• 25:19
  And then even if you don't know in the moment, you'll go walk away and say, I should maybe
• 25:24
  quiet my mind a bit and really reflect on it again, you know.
• 25:28
  Well, can I it's so important to allow individuals that we are interacting with to
• 25:37
  have whatever their reactive response is?
• 25:40
  And then, like you said, what was my reaction?
• 25:42
  And then looking at what touch me.
• 25:48
  Right?
• 25:48
  What have I not possibly dealt with or what is still raw in me?
• 25:55
  That it did trigger because my trigger, the triggering that's occurring in me is my
• 26:00
  responsibility, as you said, take a step back, think about it, and then decide what I wanna do
• 26:07
  about my own reaction.
• 26:10
  It's not their fault.
• 26:11
  It's not their responsibility.
• 26:14
  It's mine.
• 26:15
  And I think sometimes people not understanding that because you and I have been helping others
• 26:21
  to do that for years, and I know sometimes Sometimes I'm like, okay.
• 26:25
  I have to use my own training.
• 26:26
  Right?
• 26:27
  And so, like, sometimes I don't want to.
• 26:28
  I wanna be mad right now.
• 26:30
  Yes.
• 26:31
  I wanna step up, up, and down and say, I have feelings too.
• 26:34
  That's not when that's not when you're dealing with clients, but in your personal life, it's
• 26:38
  like, hey, I'm allowed to do this once in a while.
• 26:42
  Right.
• 26:42
  And then and then we go, but we can't go on and on, right, because we know them.
• 26:46
  So it's like, okay.
• 26:47
  You know, put my put my boots back on, and I'm going to, figure this out because I know how.
• 26:54
  Right?
• 26:54
  I am years of training.
• 26:55
  I help other people, so I'm not gonna let dispense during me.
• 26:59
  And but we do need to own our reaction and not blame it.
• 27:05
  Absolutely.
• 27:06
  Absolutely.
• 27:07
  So, you know, with, so we're talking about authenticity and listening deep on the inside.
• 27:14
  One thing that I know that I do daily, and this morning, I was rushed a little bit, so I don't
• 27:18
  do it.
• 27:19
  I didn't do it as I I do a a gratitude list of the things that I'm grateful for.
• 27:24
  And I write it down.
• 27:25
  I, you know, I've, I've gotten in a, a method where I actually write it down, like, a couple
• 27:29
  of things that I'm grateful for today.
• 27:30
  So it's You know, it's beautiful outside.
• 27:33
  I'm speaking with you.
• 27:34
  I've had the privilege to spend a lot of time with you, and that really shifts us,
• 27:38
  regardless.
• 27:39
  You know, maybe I didn't sleep well or, you know, I could feel myself coming down with
• 27:43
  something, but it's it's interesting how the cognitions and how we start your day, which we
• 27:48
  know because life is so harried that we'd, you know, if you'd kinda jump out of bed, you know,
• 27:54
  shove your breakfast, you know, a half a bagel dead in your mouth and you run out the door to
• 27:58
  do your day, how that really sets up the context for your day versus if you kind of have
• 28:04
  a ritual, which we know all people that are successful and, and doing, you know, not those
• 28:11
  big things, but just having a satisfied life or have these things that really allow them to
• 28:16
  take a hold of the positive things in their life.
• 28:19
  So tell us more about, the gratitude daily books because I think those are fantastic and,
• 28:26
  when you asked me, I think was it, 2 well, about 2 months ago, I believe, to do, 2
• 28:33
  entries.
• 28:33
  They were so natural for me to come up I had so many.
• 28:36
  I just had to kind of, you know, weigh it down to 2.
• 28:40
  Tell me where that came from, which is so, so much in alignment with what we're talking
• 28:44
  about.
• 28:44
  But tell me, where the, the birth of, of this, these books came from and, and, and what it's
• 28:51
  doing out there in the world.
• 28:53
  Well, thank you.
• 28:54
  So the the title of the book is live in gratitude daily, the key to abundance, joy, and
• 28:58
  love.
• 29:03
  And it was probably in 2015 that in my transition, from focusing on the military and
• 29:12
  focusing on being a therapist.
• 29:14
  I had taken a coach training.
• 29:16
  I was training with, individuals who were authentic, who were spiritual, and I was
• 29:25
  getting more in touch with my own spirituality outside of, you know, religion.
• 29:32
  And and I grew up, very much involved in the Lutheran church.
• 29:36
  I went to a Lutheran college.
• 29:38
  So my relationship in regards to religion and god is very, very strong, but I was also
• 29:45
  looking at other aspects.
• 29:47
  And in some of the research I had done and things that I needed in my own life, I had had
• 29:55
  this, idea of creating live in gratitude daily, 365 day journal that had messages from
• 30:06
  individuals, you know, from all over the world.
• 30:10
  And I had put it on hold in 2016, and there was a few things that had happened, in my life.
• 30:19
  And it was on hold.
• 30:20
  But it was like, I had this need.
• 30:24
  I had this urge.
• 30:25
  And I had gone to a women's retreat on Maui in October of 2016 and I came back the end of
• 30:37
  October and the very next day I'm doing this book.
• 30:42
  And so I reached out to my Maui sisters, and I think all of them on the retreat are in the
• 30:48
  book, and I announced it on face book, and in 60 days, the first edition of Live and
• 30:54
  gratitude daily, it was published.
• 30:57
  So I had almost a 100 authors and then I also, in some of the pages, used expert quotes on
• 31:03
  gratitude.
• 31:04
  I talked about the research behind gratitude.
• 31:07
  You know, I created some of my own quotes so that every page, and it's a journal so people
• 31:13
  can read the authentic raw stories of the co walk read the quotes of the experts and then
• 31:21
  create a live and gratitude daily lifestyle.
• 31:25
  And that book, birthing that book, and it was a very spiritual, it was a very emotional
• 31:34
  transformation for me, and it changed my life.
• 31:38
  I can't.
• 31:40
  I don't know how my path would have been different, but it would not have been as
• 31:49
  connected as it is now.
• 31:53
  And, and in some ways, I can't even describe my personal connection to doing that project.
• 32:05
  It's just a very deep connection that I have.
• 32:10
  I mean, it almost brings tears to my eyes in regards to what the book has done and how it it
• 32:17
  did change my life and the connections that I have with the co authors.
• 32:21
  Right?
• 32:22
  Because they are spirit They are connected.
• 32:24
  They are authentic.
• 32:26
  They were raw.
• 32:27
  And, and so it's it's just amazing to me.
• 32:32
  And and I can't go back who I was before creating that book.
• 32:37
  And I know in our public Facebook group, that it also has changed the lives of our readers
• 32:43
  and the people in our group and helping them to deal with a lot of issues.
• 32:47
  Some chronic illnesses, marriages, death, loss, grief.
• 32:53
  And so I'm just so happy that he would have touched so many lives.
• 32:57
  So it's interesting, right, because, you know, our thoughts, we have so many of them.
• 33:02
  And, you know, they can they can run, they can run rampant and wild and out of control.
• 33:08
  Right?
• 33:08
  So I think it's, it's, you know, if you think of what we get bombarded with every single day,
• 33:15
  you know, with all, because we're so connected.
• 33:18
  And how what percentage of that is positive, really, if you think of it?
• 33:23
  And, you know, sometimes it's like, what what is it that I'm allowing into my life?
• 33:28
  And I remember when I worked with a police, and I was quite young as you at that time.
• 33:34
  And, you know, of course, I wanted to help people And, well, you know, why don't just
• 33:39
  start with trauma in the, you know, a big city?
• 33:42
  That's the idea of a new, you know, a new young, woman entering the field and for the
• 33:48
  first time in my life, what it showed me, and I'm, I'm grateful that I learned this, Denise.
• 33:54
  Unfortunately, what pain people have actually experienced in their lives.
• 34:00
  And I'll I'll tell you about the first call that I went on.
• 34:05
  And so I have my, my partner who have I've become, like, best friends with now because we
• 34:10
  we saw such vulnerability together, And, it was a it was a suicide.
• 34:16
  And and I'm like, we're in the on Mark police car, you know, we're heading there, and the
• 34:22
  detectives are saying, okay.
• 34:23
  Well, we're gonna go in.
• 34:25
  We're just gonna make sure it's, you know, too not too graphic for you.
• 34:29
  And then you can come in and basically we assisted with the, the families.
• 34:35
  And here I am walking in, and this woman and her child is in the other room.
• 34:41
  And the guttural sound of that pain still resonates in my head.
• 34:49
  Because the husband had killed himself in the next room, but luckily it wasn't, a graphic
• 34:54
  kind of situation.
• 34:56
  In a way, being in that context showed me the value of keeping my thoughts positive because,
• 35:05
  unfortunately, in our lives, I know it was a choice to do the kind of work that we do.
• 35:10
  It made me realize how important the positive things are.
• 35:14
  Because there will be opportunity things in the world that are so huge that will need all that,
• 35:20
  that mental to get through things.
• 35:22
  But really that to really so I started at that time.
• 35:25
  I was I was thinking I was 24 to not watch the news and just watch highlights from the world.
• 35:31
  And that since I was age twenty four to now, which I still do, and I try to just watch the
• 35:36
  highlights, I'll read the updates on, on LinkedIn about what's already going on in the
• 35:41
  world.
• 35:41
  I'll try to listen to a little bit of my local, unless it's a, a, a story that I need to kind
• 35:47
  of be aware of what's happening.
• 35:49
  And because you have to focus on those things like the gratitude because we have so much to
• 35:55
  be grateful for.
• 35:56
  We really do and then, you know, you and then you see all the things that are happening in
• 36:00
  the world and the shootings in the schools and, you know, gun control, all those things, If you
• 36:06
  were ready just to kind of take all those in, what would it do to your mental?
• 36:10
  You know, it's devastating.
• 36:11
  It it's hard.
• 36:13
  And then you start to believe that the world, what a horrible place the world is.
• 36:16
  So that's why things like living daily, with gratitude is is such That's like the fertilizer
• 36:23
  and the sunshine and the water that we need daily just to really make us realize that, you
• 36:28
  know, we can create whatever we we want in our lives just by, what we focus on.
• 36:34
  Right.
• 36:35
  Well, you know, and I truly believe and there is research out there that our thoughts do
• 36:42
  create a reality.
• 36:44
  And It also seems like though that as young children,
• 36:51
  like we
• 36:51
  are taught or we see we experience that there's so much more negativity.
• 36:58
  It's so easy for human beings to be negative and it's like a chore or a task for them to be
• 37:06
  positive.
• 37:08
  And for me now living in, you know, I grew up and live in the United States, but I've lived
• 37:17
  in Third World Countries And so that has given me a different perspective.
• 37:23
  And, you know, in in one of the exercises that I had on the Facebook Live with the gratitude
• 37:30
  daily Facebook group.
• 37:32
  Yes.
• 37:32
  I talked about individuals thanking what they have in their house.
• 37:38
  And, you know, some of them were like, what?
• 37:40
  You know, they're typing comments.
• 37:42
  I said, yes.
• 37:43
  Have you ever thought about thanking your refrigerator?
• 37:46
  Have you thought about thanking your favorite chair?
• 37:49
  Have you thought about thanking everything that you have?
• 37:53
  And so there was some you know, laughter like this, but the point is, do by doing that
• 38:00
  exercise, right, going to our refrigerator and standing in front of it and saying, I Thank you
• 38:05
  for keeping my food cold.
• 38:08
  What an exercise for us to realize what we take for granted and that we do have in our lives,
• 38:19
  at least most of us in developed countries, we do have in our life what we need, and sometimes
• 38:27
  we don't think about that.
• 38:28
  You know, waking up in the morning and being grateful that we woke up.
• 38:34
  Being grateful that if you can see, we're thankful that we can if you can hear, we're
• 38:41
  thankful that we can hear whatever it is that we have the ability to do Are we recognizing
• 38:50
  that and being great?
• 38:53
  I think our our our minds get too loaded up.
• 38:57
  With, consumerism and and stressors and, you know, what's wrong with the world.
• 39:04
  So hence that kind of, you know, it's kinda like walking into life on on in into incoming
• 39:11
  traffic.
• 39:12
  Right?
• 39:12
  It, you know, if you don't somehow, kind of calibrate yourself daily, which is rituals or
• 39:20
  Whether it's prayer or, it's, it's just, you know, sitting in silence and having a cup of
• 39:26
  tea or, I'm back onto the woods here in Niagara, And it's beautiful.
• 39:31
  So I, I purposely don't have, blinds or, or window coverings because I get the most
• 39:39
  beautiful, sunrises coming up, and you get up, and it's, it's, it's, it's like, wow.
• 39:45
  How is this possible?
• 39:46
  So It's sometimes the simplest things.
• 39:48
  Right?
• 39:48
  People believe you have to go out and you have to do, like, a yoga class or you have to, you
• 39:53
  know, be able to do Pilates and those things.
• 39:55
  But, You know, like, you often teach it.
• 39:58
  I could, I could tell you do that often is you got 5 senses.
• 40:02
  You know, use it to really stay grounded in the present, right?
• 40:06
  Like, like, you're right.
• 40:07
  I remember when my mom, she, had a brain tumor and she had to have operation, and they were
• 40:14
  saying that the wear was connected.
• 40:16
  It was at the base of her neck that if they didn't remove it properly, she would use sight
• 40:21
  sound, taste touch.
• 40:23
  And smell.
• 40:24
  And I remember right after everything went well, I remember going for a run, which I not
• 40:30
  my favorite activity, but I said to my body, aren't I privileged?
• 40:35
  I can get out.
• 40:36
  I can go run for a 5 k.
• 40:38
  I can look.
• 40:39
  I'm along the river.
• 40:40
  I can watch out, look under the beautiful water.
• 40:43
  I can feel the sunlight on my face.
• 40:46
  And unfortunately, with most of us, most human beings, we wait for something critical to be
• 40:51
  able to sit back and say, wow, am I not just so very lucky?
• 40:55
  Like, I have my health.
• 40:56
  I can see.
• 40:57
  I can smell.
• 40:58
  I could smell a cup of coffee.
• 41:00
  I can taste it.
• 41:01
  All those things.
• 41:02
  And I think it's something if, you know, you once you get into a practice, like you said, it
• 41:07
  becomes instilled in you.
• 41:08
  And then what happens is then I don't know if you would agree with this, Denise, is that you
• 41:13
  if you don't do it, you miss it.
• 41:16
  Yes.
• 41:17
  Yes.
• 41:18
  Definitely, I know that if I don't have my morning routine, like I said, sometimes we get
• 41:25
  rushed.
• 41:26
  You know, sometimes the alarm doesn't go off or sometimes, oh, I forgot to write that on my
• 41:30
  calendar because I like getting up early enough that I have time to sort of greet the morning.
• 41:37
  You know, I have my cup of coffee.
• 41:39
  I'm getting prepared for the day.
• 41:41
  I'm getting into a positive mindset.
• 41:45
  And I notice when I'm not able to do that, or if I've had so many appointments back to back,
• 41:52
  but I didn't have, like, a reboot in the middle of the day to just see what I have in my life
• 42:00
  and to be grateful for it.
• 42:01
  And so, yeah, so then I can see myself getting a little, you know, out of school.
• 42:06
  So just tired.
• 42:08
  The other thing is when I talked to individuals about gratitude, I want to make sure that they
• 42:16
  know it is okay that you don't like something.
• 42:20
  It is okay that you're sad about something in your life we're not saying that gratitude makes
• 42:26
  you happy a 100% of the time or now you don't have any negative emotions It's just when you
• 42:35
  are in a lifestyle of gratitude, you're more quick to not stay in the negative emotion so
• 42:47
  that you spiral, you know, into negativity.
• 42:52
  But, yes, we want to acknowledge all situations and circumstances in our life.
• 42:58
  We just can look at them differently than before we had a gratitude lifestyle.
• 43:05
  I think it's, you know, I often these are three things I often use when I I coach, I say we
• 43:11
  honor things.
• 43:12
  Right?
• 43:13
  We bear it, and we let it go.
• 43:15
  But once you are more grateful, it it creates a cushion to say, I'm kinda sad today because,
• 43:22
  you know, X Y Z is going on.
• 43:24
  But I don't block it off, right?
• 43:26
  I don't block it off.
• 43:27
  It is kind of sad that, you know, someone's was not well or whatever, because I think the
• 43:33
  instinct, as you know, with most people, is to say, if I avoid it, it's gonna go away.
• 43:37
  And I often say it's like that teapot with the steam, right?
• 43:41
  That tea pot, that top's gonna blow, and it's really just about, you know, on the western
• 43:45
  philosophy around feelings is that They're real.
• 43:51
  And they they are real.
• 43:53
  And, if you kind of learn to just feel, and this philosophy of being happy all the time,
• 44:00
  really, is not reality.
• 44:03
  We can be satisfied and enjoy certain things, we can, you know, sometimes, you know, the and
• 44:10
  most of the listeners probably, at any given point, 25 to 35 or more than 40% of people are
• 44:16
  having things go on in their lives.
• 44:18
  So we're not suggesting it's a polyana kind of perspective, but just don't don't shut down
• 44:25
  from feelings, allows allow things to flow through you, and build yourself up with the
• 44:31
  positive things because that helps inoculate you when you really, really need it when things
• 44:36
  aren't so good.
• 44:38
  Right.
• 44:38
  And and definitely.
• 44:39
  So we wanna fill our gratitude bucket per se.
• 44:42
  We wanna fill the experience of being positive So like you said, when something really
• 44:48
  happens, we have that to fall back on and have an understanding of, yes, this might be a very
• 44:55
  difficult tragic, traumatic time, but I also know how it feels to be here to have the
• 45:02
  gratitude to be positive So I'm gonna try to bring that back and not let the negative or the
• 45:08
  difficult situation just totally overshadow our life.
• 45:13
  Absolutely.
• 45:14
  And I think the more that you practice it, it's like anything else.
• 45:17
  It's like any other muscle.
• 45:19
  If you practice practice that gratitude muscle, it grows.
• 45:24
  And, the more that you you get into that mindset, after a while, you'll, you know, the
• 45:29
  things that you notice, right?
• 45:30
  The little little things which really, to me, are the abundance that is all around us, you
• 45:36
  know, then it allows us to really just enjoy things and be more satisfied with life, with
• 45:42
  constantly not looking for something that's going to be an epiphany because really, I truly
• 45:47
  believe that we really have everything around us yes, things can get tough at times, but we
• 45:52
  can definitely get ourselves out of it.
• 45:54
  Now, Denise, this has been fantastic.
• 45:56
  It's got you kinda it's actually kind of a neat experience for me because I'm like, You've
• 46:00
  always interviewed me.
• 46:01
  So it's kinda like, oh, this is interesting.
• 46:05
  I've loved it, and I really gives me a better sense of who you are in the world and really
• 46:11
  shows me that the alignment, when we met was it back in November, was, was real at that time.
• 46:18
  And I, I really look forward and, and feel honored to continue to be a part of you know,
• 46:24
  global voice and, living, daily with gratitude.
• 46:29
  So I'm just wondering if there is any last words that you'd like to share.
• 46:34
  And I know I I would like anybody that wants to work with you.
• 46:39
  To reach out to you, to have a chat with you, maybe they're and I wanna say to people, and if
• 46:45
  you have a voice, And it doesn't have to be a, a brand per se, but you just have a burning
• 46:52
  desire to share something with the world that's I would say reach out to Denise and talk about
• 46:58
  it because you may, you may be someone that has something to share with the world, but you
• 47:03
  think, well, who's gonna listen to me?
• 47:04
  I don't have the credential or whatever.
• 47:07
  And I'm telling you we can I I learn?
• 47:09
  My biggest teacher in life sometimes is my son.
• 47:12
  And, you know, he's sixteen years old.
• 47:15
  So, you know, if you have that voice and it's something that you've always thought about, I
• 47:18
  would say you can reach out to Denise and please have a chat.
• 47:22
  Well, thank you very much for saying that, Roxanne.
• 47:25
  And, you know, I think my last comment to everyone is just to trust yourself and that you
• 47:33
  do have
• 47:42
  Thank you.
• 47:43
  So again, what a what a fantastic message out there in the world.
• 47:51
  Like I said, authenticity is something that we come into the world with.
• 47:56
  If we get sidetracked, it doesn't take too much more, for less to, some simple steps either
• 48:02
  daily or, or, you know, weekly to get us back on track.
• 48:08
  I'm so grateful that you've been here today with Authentic Living with Roxanne.
• 48:13
  If you'd to learning more about me.
• 48:15
  You can reach me at roxanderhodge.com, and I do speaking events and coaching.
• 48:21
  Take care, and, will talk to you soon.