Latest / Authentic Living / Presentation Rockstars and the ROR: Return On Relationships with David Thomas
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
- 0:08things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:11And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:36Hey, everyone.
- 0:37It's Rob Sandra.
- 0:38How are you again today?
- 0:40So glad everybody's tuning in today.
- 0:42I have David Thomas, and you said you're based in Halifax, North London.
- 0:49Is that what it's telling you exactly?
- 0:51The the north of England.
- 0:53North of neighborhoods here in London.
- 0:55I just I just took what you said.
- 0:59So he is an expert.
- 1:01Now, you're talking a bit about, your background.
- 1:04Is it that you you're a memory expert?
- 1:06Is that what I read?
- 1:08Something to do with memory.
- 1:09So so tell me about that.
- 1:10I was reading a little bit about your background, and we'll talk a little bit about
- 1:14what we're gonna chat about today.
- 1:16Well, my background is that I had a a troubled child that never went to college got kicked out
- 1:21at school, working in a factory for, like, $2 an hour.
- 1:25And then I joined the fire service.
- 1:27And when I was in the fire service, I had trouble passing my exams.
- 1:30And one day, I saw a guy memorized Packer playing cards on TV, bought his book, taught
- 1:34myself how to do it.
- 1:368 months later, I went to the world memory championships came forth, found a just study
- 1:41gift.
- 1:42And then everybody's like, how do you do this memory stuff?
- 1:44And I thought it's just that easy.
- 1:45It's a few techniques, and they gotta teach me the techniques.
- 1:48And so back in February 9 1997, they gave me first talk.
- 1:52For the following, and then very soon after that, I'll have to fire service Roxanne this
- 1:56record.
- 1:57And then and then that was for 15 years.
- 2:01And then in 2000 and 11, somebody came out of an audience and just said, would I show them
- 2:06how to improve their presentation skills?
- 2:08I said, I don't do that.
- 2:09That's not my bag.
- 2:11And she said, I want you to do it.
- 2:12And I said, why?
- 2:13And she says, because you are brutally honest, and you are a fantastic speaker, if you can
- 2:19reverse engineer what you do, then I think you can show me how to be a better speaker.
- 2:24I said fantastic.
- 2:25I'll do anything, mate.
- 2:26I'll have a go at anything once.
- 2:27Right?
- 2:28Just pretty much anything.
- 2:29And I said, right.
- 2:31We'll have a go.
- 2:31I said, if it's rubbish too, apparently.
- 2:33And even to this day, I've got the a video testimonial, and she said this was great.
- 2:38So then I moved away from the brain training, the memory mind mapping, and so on.
- 2:43Moved over towards the, all pretty much all towards presentation skills, mainly working
- 2:49with C suite, middle to senior management, and about half of what the work I do is with the
- 2:54boss.
- 2:55Amazing.
- 2:56So let's back up because I'm curious about the memory stuff.
- 3:00So What gift did you realize you had?
- 3:02Like, is it is it mnemonics?
- 3:05What is it that you're doing?
- 3:07That helps you have such an exceptional memory.
- 3:11Well, you know, I say I've got I say I've got a gift.
- 3:13I'm not really quite sure, but it was mnemonics.
- 3:15It was all book.
- 3:16It was all techniques in a book.
- 3:18All the stuff that's been around all literally for thousands of years, mind palace, put in
- 3:22stuff in rooms.
- 3:23And everybody goes, I get that, and I go over the last one.
- 3:26I did.
- 3:26But what I found is that I was able to apply it at a very high level.
- 3:30To give you an example, in 1998, I broke again his record for a site in pie, which Almost
- 3:36everybody on on the podcast will know from school because we all learn it then forget it,
- 3:40but it starts 3.14.
- 3:41We all learn it in maths.
- 3:43Yes.
- 3:43And, you know, and I recited it to 22,500 digits from memory in 4 a half hours to break a
- 3:50Guinness record that stood for another 2 decades.
- 3:53The thing is I know it was just purely techniques.
- 3:55I know that it was just a question of taking a technique drilling down honing that technique,
- 4:01adopting, adapting a shedload of practice.
- 4:05And I got to the stage where I was one of the best that had ever been Is that a gift?
- 4:10I don't know.
- 4:11I mean, I've got work ethic and ambition.
- 4:14The one thing I have is resilience.
- 4:16I just I'm like a dog with a bone.
- 4:18I just never let go.
- 4:20And, you know, I my self belief is very, very high.
- 4:24I believe in myself.
- 4:26Well, it's it's interesting.
- 4:27Right?
- 4:27Because like you said, you haven't gone to formal education.
- 4:31Probably you would have had you gone on?
- 4:33You probably would have realized that relatively quickly.
- 4:35Right?
- 4:36But not until you tried it.
- 4:38No.
- 4:38No.
- 4:38No.
- 4:38Realize because, like, I mean, in university and stuff like that.
- 4:42It's all rote.
- 4:42Right?
- 4:43You're trying to something like me.
- 4:45I hated memorization.
- 4:46I didn't.
- 4:47I I didn't like it.
- 4:48I was like, oh my god.
- 4:49Here we go again.
- 4:50I have to kind of memorize this.
- 4:51So
- 4:52Oh, may may maybe I would have found out later, possibly, I would have done I I I'm not so
- 4:58sure.
- 4:58I mean, I do know a guy who discovered memory techniques in university because they needed to
- 5:03learn of a luminous amount of information, but I'm I'm not so sure.
- 5:09I mean, honestly, I I I was sitting fire service exams.
- 5:13These are not this is not difficult.
- 5:15It is just list off the list.
- 5:16The 13th is on a fire extinguisher.
- 5:18The 6 things you need to remember when you go to a fire call as a senior officer at Chemical
- 5:23incident, and it was just list off the list, and I couldn't do it.
- 5:26So it's not like I was learning quantum physics or you know, the relationship between
- 5:31characters in Shakespeare.
- 5:33It was literally just basic lists.
- 5:35And I didn't buy the book thinking this is gonna be great.
- 5:38I'm gonna be a memory guy and pass my exams.
- 5:40I was just sat there going, well, you know, let's just give it a go.
- 5:43It's 6, you know, it's ten bucks for a buck.
- 5:46What can go wrong.
- 5:47And all of a sudden, I found I could do this.
- 5:50And so, I mean, yeah, I could have been exposed to it earlier, and it might have made a
- 5:54difference, but I don't know.
- 5:58Well, we can't go back there other than you've you've found you found it out along the way.
- 6:03Now let's let's talk a little bit about.
- 6:05So, for everyone listening, and David teaches, leaders how to be Roxanne stars on stage.
- 6:12I'm gonna use that word.
- 6:13How do you capture the moment?
- 6:15And, like, with every one of this thing, you know that I talk about authenticity and how
- 6:20that impacts your capacity to connect.
- 6:22And when you connect, you're able to do some amazing things with people around you just by
- 6:27the delivery of what you're able to do.
- 6:30So that's what David does in his world now.
- 6:34So did the memory thing translate over into what you did with present in any way, or was it
- 6:39a completely different kind of, subset of things that you were doing?
- 6:45Well, there was almost no crossover.
- 6:46If you look at the there was this tiny little thing in the middle called memory.
- 6:51What's interesting now is that when I do a a day's, you know, coaching with a client,
- 6:56memories part of the process.
- 6:58I have a 22 stage process I go through.
- 7:00A memory is one of them, but now even though I'm a memory guy, and even though I can see the
- 7:06benefit of being able to memorize his speech, actually, when it comes down to it, I always
- 7:11say to the client, to be honest, the choice is yours because by the time, you know, successful
- 7:17speaking and being a presentation Roxanne is as much about skill as it is about talent or
- 7:23charisma or whatever you wanna call it.
- 7:25And I take people through a process that that improves them very significantly.
- 7:30But there's a lot of moving parts.
- 7:31Definitely learn how to walk and talk, you know, whether it should stand still.
- 7:35They need to know how to have great eye contact, how to use cadence, how to use pauses,
- 7:39all the traditional basic stuff that I teach is basic stuff, but it works as long as they do
- 7:44it.
- 7:44And then on top of that, I said, oh, and by the way, you've got to memorize your speech.
- 7:48They got, really?
- 7:49And I got, no, not really.
- 7:50But if they want to, they can.
- 7:52Right.
- 7:53And I've got the plan to do it.
- 7:54So I worked with a guy over here called Martin Factory once, a side So if that's just sadder,
- 8:00he's a a major brand of it in the UK, and he, I worked with him.
- 8:05And the one thing he said he wanted to do, when I said, what do you want to achieve when you
- 8:08speak?
- 8:09He says, well, I'm gonna speak at the British houses of parliament to the lords and MPs.
- 8:13I'm gonna get the law changed in my industry.
- 8:15I want to be able to do it really well.
- 8:18I said, what's your desired outcome is is I wanna speak without notes.
- 8:21Because I've been coming to these meetings with my family, you know, my dad and my granddad for
- 8:26years.
- 8:26And every time somebody stands up and does it, they do it with notes.
- 8:29I wanna be the first to do it without notes.
- 8:32And so we all understand the impacts have been speak without notes because there's maybe 5% of
- 8:38non professional speakers speak without notes, only 1 in 20 so that I immediately improves you
- 8:43just by being able to do it.
- 8:45But you know what state?
- 8:46When I'm coaching people, I say it's your choice.
- 8:49If you want to learn how to do it, I'll show you.
- 8:52And if you think that you've got too much on your plate, then that's something further down
- 8:55the road.
- 8:57So let's let's talk about What are the some of the core fundamental blocks that you find, when
- 9:05leaders want to communicate?
- 9:07Do you find that people coming to you have some basics?
- 9:10Like, some basics kind of in that they can, you know, move a room.
- 9:13They can speak.
- 9:14They can articulate.
- 9:15They can get a message across generally, or are they coming to you kinda, they are in a
- 9:21position, but they're not able to speak very well to connect?
- 9:24It depends what level they are.
- 9:26If I get a chief executive managing director, the boss in front of me, they've already done
- 9:30it that many times that they can speak.
- 9:33And when they come to me, they walk through the door, they're going.
- 9:36I don't know what good looks like.
- 9:37I can kinda see it in somebody else.
- 9:40But I just don't know what to do.
- 9:42I don't know how to make myself a rock star, and they they all formed me up and got met me a
- 9:46rock star.
- 9:47Right.
- 9:47They don't fall up and say, can you show me how to be a little bit better than I like?
- 9:51Because, you know, the ego of a chief exec is enormous.
- 9:55Imposter syndrome is also enormous.
- 9:57Right?
- 9:58They all have a superiority complex, and they're all sat there waking up at 3 in the
- 10:02morning crying and think it's gonna crash on the show that day.
- 10:04Right?
- 10:05So they're they're all kind of crazy, chief execs, but they all have an ego.
- 10:09So feeding that ego is not particularly difficult.
- 10:11If I go one level down, even just into the senior management team, right, CA or CT or CFO
- 10:17and so on, fear.
- 10:20You can smell it when they walk through the door.
- 10:23That panicked the nerves.
- 10:24I had a management team last week in a in a Internet provider in the UK.
- 10:30And and I just said to them, there's nine people.
- 10:32And I said, right, by the way, we're gonna start with a quick exercise.
- 10:35I'm gonna get you up at the front.
- 10:36I'm gonna give you a topic.
- 10:37You're gonna speak on it for one minute.
- 10:39Aren't gonna get different topics so you can't prepare.
- 10:43And literally do it.
- 10:44I think just honestly, they were nearly diving under the table.
- 10:52Seriously, I was like, really?
- 10:55And they're like, yeah.
- 10:57Because they don't do it that often, and they found themselves.
- 11:00What what happens with managers is they'll kinda put her along doing a few team talks and
- 11:05they might do the odd little presentation here with it.
- 11:07Then all of a sudden, they'll go up just one level, and they'll go from presenting maybe
- 11:11once a month to once a week.
- 11:13Or twice a week.
- 11:14And then all and it becomes really important, very, very quick.
- 11:18So when it's chief execs, they just say, I don't know what good looks like.
- 11:23I don't know what what is perfection in speaking.
- 11:26Tell me.
- 11:27Show me.
- 11:28And I go, this is a process.
- 11:30And I get them up and go through it.
- 11:31And I got, you're strong in this area.
- 11:33You weaken this area.
- 11:34This is the area that we either need to go around or improve.
- 11:38And but then when it comes to the guys, 1 or 2 levels below, you're starting from scratch.
- 11:43So you're starting with helping them manage their fear?
- 11:47Is that what you where you start with the ones, Laura?
- 11:49So what kind of things do you do with them?
- 11:51Like, because, like, I mean, most people, like, they say, well, you know, are petrified.
- 11:55Like, you speak, I speak, and I I was an executive before I went on to professional
- 12:00speaking.
- 12:00So I was accustomed, but some people are Like, they'll do anything but speak.
- 12:06And even though they're at that levels, they're like, okay.
- 12:09I can talk to my business units or I can talk to different people within the organization,
- 12:14but just the thought of being front and center that, you know, scares a lot of people.
- 12:19So what kind of things do you What do you do with them to help them with your fear?
- 12:25Well, the this kind of 4 different areas.
- 12:27First of all, it's carrot and stick.
- 12:29So I stand there and I go, right.
- 12:31If you'll learn how to present real, really today, if you engage in a full day, I can
- 12:34promise you're gonna be better about the time you spend some time with me.
- 12:38Therefore, when you walk out of here, that will make you more valuable in the marketplace.
- 12:42And I said to them last week, I said there's 90 of you in this room, but if you go one level
- 12:46above, maybe there's 3 jobs, Therefore, out of the 6 out the 9 of you, 6 are not gonna get a
- 12:51job if you go to the next level.
- 12:53You're gonna you're gonna have to be better than the other people in this room.
- 12:56Understand it's not fair.
- 12:58It's, you know, and it's a game.
- 13:00You've just gotta be better than play the rules better than anybody else.
- 13:02So that's the carrot.
- 13:04The stickers are turned around and go.
- 13:06Mark, the boss, has told me that has sent you on this course because he thinks you need to
- 13:11speak better.
- 13:12I said, therefore, if you don't, or if I go back and say that you didn't engage or whatever
- 13:17and I give him feedback, etcetera, guess what?
- 13:20He's not gonna be happy.
- 13:22You've got a choice.
- 13:24You either engage in the day and make it work for you so that the boss is not unhappy with
- 13:29you because, again, This is this is how life works.
- 13:32You've been given a position of extreme responsibility as a senior manager in this
- 13:36company.
- 13:37It is your duty to learn how to be uncomfortable and improve your skills.
- 13:41So I do all this in the same day.
- 13:43Right?
- 13:43So I'll do carrot or do stick.
- 13:46The other two side of it is number 1, just basic techniques.
- 13:51So there's loads of techniques you can use.
- 13:53So there's a great study came out of Harvard University.
- 13:57And what it said was that people who suffer from nerves when they when they're speaking,
- 14:03there is nothing you can do to remove those nerves.
- 14:06But what you can do is suppress them by putting a layer of positive self talk over the top.
- 14:11Now I'm a straightforward working class guy.
- 14:14I don't do much voodoo stuff, right, at all ever.
- 14:17I'm not that's not me.
- 14:19I understand how powerful it can be for many people.
- 14:21But it's not me.
- 14:23Right?
- 14:23I'm I'm ultra practic practical, you know, I'm all about process and strategy and really
- 14:28almost nothing about psychology.
- 14:30But this was great because what it said was what you do before you speak is you stand on
- 14:36the sidelines, and you just go, I'm gonna deliver a great speech today.
- 14:40You gotta say it out loud apparently.
- 14:42They did the test.
- 14:43Halver did the test.
- 14:44And they said, and the audience really want to hear what I've got to say.
- 14:49Mhmm.
- 14:50And I've practiced, and I'm gonna be amazing today.
- 14:53And what it does is it doesn't get rid of the nerves, but it suppresses them.
- 14:56So there's loads of little technique, smile at an audience, If I smile at you
- 15:01Yeah.
- 15:01It helps us.
- 15:02You want to be first thing you do is smile back.
- 15:04Right?
- 15:05You know, we we
- 15:07I will smile back.
- 15:08David.
- 15:08I will because I want the psychological edge when I
- 15:11Yeah.
- 15:11Yeah.
- 15:115000 miles away, and you still smile back, right, for staff with me?
- 15:15You just do it.
- 15:16So there's almost no audience in the world.
- 15:18If you smile at an audience, they'll smile back.
- 15:20You relaxed.
- 15:21They're in for a bit of fun.
- 15:23So the thing is, there's all those little techniques.
- 15:25But the last thing that is the most important, which I never really legislated for, is that
- 15:32what people have said to me after spending the day with me, is that by learning what is best
- 15:37practice that has taken away a really big chunk of the nerves, because they just didn't know
- 15:44what they were doing.
- 15:47I think most of us on this, I mean, and even a business school or whatever, like, Okay.
- 15:52I'm a psychologist.
- 15:53So I, I mean, my craft is about really, really, you know, listening, learning how to
- 15:58communicate.
- 15:59Most people haven't learned that to be able to go to school doing it.
- 16:02Right?
- 16:02But even in business school, are they teaching people these skills?
- 16:06They're not per se teaching them.
- 16:08So most people I would say that they they try their best.
- 16:11They go apply for a job and, you know, IT or either director or whatever, and then they gain
- 16:17the skills as they go.
- 16:18But I would say for the most part, you don't think about, you know, how do I communicate,
- 16:23right, when you're starting a job and you're kind of entry level, you're just kinda trying
- 16:26to do the job and getting better as as you go.
- 16:29But as you might like to your point, as you go up every level, There's more responsibility
- 16:35where you have to deliver more information.
- 16:37And in turn, then at that point, you're seeing probably the gulf faces where people aren't
- 16:42getting what you're saying.
- 16:43So I would say that's makes sense that, some of the skills you're talking about, people, they
- 16:48need to learn it.
- 16:48They they really do.
- 16:51But if you don't know any better, you'll just carry on doing what you've always done.
- 16:55Right.
- 16:55Right.
- 16:56Yeah.
- 16:56I mean, I'm I'm I'm a gym monkey.
- 16:59Right?
- 16:59So I'm a competitive border builder.
- 17:02And I was in the gym about 3 weeks ago, and I saw a guy and he he was on the he said, I I
- 17:08remember you.
- 17:09And I went, where from?
- 17:10And he said 35 years ago, you and I worked on a car maintenance course at the local college
- 17:15for, like, like, night school for 2 weeks.
- 17:18And it was like, I remember.
- 17:21Anyway, I said, how are you doing?
- 17:22He said, yeah, I'm alright.
- 17:23I'm 54.
- 17:24He's like 56.
- 17:26And I said, oh, how are you feeling?
- 17:27And he said, you know what?
- 17:29I've got a bad back.
- 17:30And I said, well, just just sit.
- 17:33I'm just gonna say something out loud, Dennis, because I never offer advice in the gym because
- 17:38all the people do is punch you in the face.
- 17:40Nobody wants advice, right, even in the gym.
- 17:42Even when they're doing something dangerous, they don't want advice.
- 17:44But I said to him, I said, Dennis, well, while you mentioned it, you know when you're doing
- 17:48the pull down so the machine, it goes yes.
- 17:49Said, what you do is you go in like this and then pushing you back, then you kind of shaking
- 17:53your back to get it down.
- 17:55And he went, really?
- 17:56And I said, yeah.
- 17:57I said that's why you're hurting your back.
- 17:58And so what you need to do is go back, like, you know, 25 degrees.
- 18:02You pull it down to your sternum.
- 18:03You keep completely still.
- 18:05Only pulled down the way you can.
- 18:07If you do that, your back will get stronger, you'll be fine.
- 18:10He said the reason you do it is because what happens is you, you know, you start pulling it
- 18:15down, you know, 30 years ago, then you just got a bit stronger.
- 18:18So you start getting a bit more, then you couldn't get it down.
- 18:20So you start shaking, and then eventually that became to have it.
- 18:23And the bad habit became the thing you did every time.
- 18:26And he went, right.
- 18:28Yeah.
- 18:28I'll I'll have got that.
- 18:292 weeks 2 weeks later came up to me and he said, Dave, Thanks very much, my back's a load
- 18:33better.
- 18:34What?
- 18:35The problem the problem is is that you start doing a bad habit, but you don't realize you
- 18:40just carry on doing the same thing because you don't know any better.
- 18:44So the guys that walked through the door with me, they can have all kinds of bad habits.
- 18:48It can be the way they look.
- 18:50I mean, either chief exec class week.
- 18:52We were doing half a day coaching.
- 18:53There was about 6 of them in the room.
- 18:55And his and his designs were like that all the time.
- 18:57He just couldn't keep his eyes still.
- 18:59I said, do you realize you're doing that?
- 19:00And he goes, no.
- 19:02Oh.
- 19:02And this this was interesting as well.
- 19:05I said, I said, right.
- 19:06We've got 3 major problems.
- 19:08You're doing that.
- 19:08Your start is terrible.
- 19:10You need to do this.
- 19:10You've listened this.
- 19:11And he said, mate, you need to get this stuff sorted.
- 19:14And he looked at me and went, I'm glad I met you.
- 19:16And I said, why?
- 19:17He said, because my I be I always ask my team.
- 19:22Oh, I see.
- 19:22I always lost my team while I'm doing them.
- 19:24They got, yeah, you're doing great, boss.
- 19:26Yeah.
- 19:26You're doing great.
- 19:28Because he's just dead.
- 19:31You're asked for feedback from your team and what, you know, I've I've heard you know, so
- 19:35many people share those things, David, when they talk about, oh, you know, we did this
- 19:40this, you know, external consultant came in and everything is good.
- 19:43But everybody at the senior team is like they're falling like flies, but they're telling
- 19:48the CEO that everything is fantastic.
- 19:50Right?
- 19:50Because people are afraid to you know, tell the person that say is running the organization or
- 19:57the senior leader what what really is wrong.
- 20:00Right?
- 20:00So I think your approach as much as it's direct, it must work for some people because
- 20:06you need to hear what you're not doing well.
- 20:08And how often might they get poached to be able to get told that?
- 20:13I mean, I I don't get work.
- 20:15Blind.
- 20:16Pee people I get referrals and recommendations or people come back and use me often again.
- 20:22I I you know, I don't get work.
- 20:23People know what I'm like.
- 20:25And I'm I'm never aggressive.
- 20:27I am never rude.
- 20:28I am never obnoxious.
- 20:30I don't swear at my clients.
- 20:31I don't embarrass them.
- 20:33I don't make them feel small.
- 20:34But I am bullet straight.
- 20:36And every chief exec loves it.
- 20:39Male and female, 50% of my clients are female.
- 20:42They love it because they just don't get it anywhere else anywhere else at all.
- 20:47The share, you know, they could be running a company and have a board of directors, and
- 20:50they'll sit in front of the board of directors.
- 20:52They then have to leave the room while the board of directors talks about them.
- 20:55I mean, you know, that that's why being a chief exec is the best and worst job in the world.
- 21:00Because you've just you it's completely isolated.
- 21:04You really you know, if you tell if you if you look weak, if you're asking for advice from
- 21:08your subordinates, and and and yet, how do you improve?
- 21:12And if you do, there's always a line.
- 21:14It don't I mean, it's the same in any relationship.
- 21:16You know, I have you know, Karen, my soulmate.
- 21:18Right?
- 21:19We live together.
- 21:20And, you know, she she's she's everything to me, but there really is very little the the the
- 21:29I'll I'll rephrase it.
- 21:30There really is only so far I can go with Karen before she would just break down in a heap on
- 21:34the floor.
- 21:35And it's not very much.
- 21:36She's softer than, you know, a Labrador puppy dog.
- 21:39You know what I mean?
- 21:40She's just softy.
- 21:42Me, I'm, like, honestly, I love brutal honesty.
- 21:45I love I love humor that's pitch black.
- 21:48There's almost nothing you could say to me.
- 21:50You'd nothing you could say to me to upset me.
- 21:52Or offend me, but Karen, she's really soft.
- 21:56So everybody has a line over you which you can.
- 21:59You won't cross.
- 21:59And everybody says the icon to stay, but they don't.
- 22:02They're like their version of honesty.
- 22:04Right.
- 22:05Absolutely.
- 22:05And, you know, with the my my new book, I do an assessment of the qualities that it takes for a
- 22:10leader to be more resilient within him or herself so that he but they're doing an
- 22:15assessment on themselves, but their team's doing it on them as well.
- 22:19And oftentimes, what do we do?
- 22:20Right?
- 22:21A lot of people, they have blind spots, right, because they don't wanna kinda see it.
- 22:25We're very good at seeing her positives, but not so good at being vulnerable enough to see
- 22:30our negatives.
- 22:30But when the team does the assessment and then the leader does the assessment, we collate both
- 22:35of both of those things.
- 22:36That's when the leader really sees Wow.
- 22:39I'm thinking I'm really good with, say, recognition or I'm good with communication, but
- 22:44my team's saying, I'm giving myself, say, 80% of my team's saying, I'm 20%, there's a
- 22:49disparity, obviously, that at that point is showing the leader that he or she needs to
- 22:53start looking at what they're not doing well.
- 22:55They to Again, getting out of their subjective world and getting into the objective world of
- 23:00the people that they're leading around them, and what do we need differently from them?
- 23:04So it's it's interesting that you say that about, with some of these senior leaders.
- 23:09Who's who's telling them what the reality is about what they're not good at?
- 23:13Not many people to your point.
- 23:16Right?
- 23:17So let's let's talk about I'm a leader I come to you.
- 23:23And, what are you how are you assessing my capacity, to see how I communicate what I'm
- 23:32good at, what I'm not good at.
- 23:33So do you tailor, your kind of way you work one to one with individuals, or is it like a rote?
- 23:39Like you said, a 22 step process.
- 23:42What what do you do with someone?
- 23:44Well, about 80% of my work is is guys who come to me, people who come to me male, female,
- 23:51everybody, and they have a specific talk they wanna give.
- 23:55Okay.
- 23:56So, like, tonight, I've been working with a guy.
- 23:58He's got a talking Barcelona in 2 weeks, and it's 50 minutes long, and he's like, how do I
- 24:05make this amazing?
- 24:06And we go through it bit by bit.
- 24:08And so the going through the 22 stages is not necessary.
- 24:12What I do is I sit there and I go right.
- 24:14You you've got 60 seconds to grab the retention.
- 24:16What's your one lightning rod theme?
- 24:18What is your one theme?
- 24:19You can only have one.
- 24:21I don't care if you're speaking for 15 minutes or 15 hours, you can only have one.
- 24:24What is your one lightning rod thing with the gut?
- 24:26Right.
- 24:27Okay.
- 24:27So what it does is it focuses their mind.
- 24:29And then I sit there and I go, what are the three areas that you would like to cover in
- 24:32your talk that feed up into that one lightning rod theme?
- 24:35And that's what we do.
- 24:37So, you know, with this guy, the one lightning rod theme is unity.
- 24:40So it's got 16 different units across the world.
- 24:42It's bringing them together into one section.
- 24:44So it's about unity.
- 24:45That's that one lightning rod theme.
- 24:47The three things that go underneath it are motivation strategy and resilience.
- 24:53And so what we've done is we worked out, you know, so the first five minutes is talking
- 24:56about motivation, how they're doing really well, what the numbers are, and, you know,
- 25:00success strategies about how they're gonna implement, bringing everybody together, and
- 25:04resiliency you know, you know, how it's gonna work in the long term and how they're gonna
- 25:08work in terms of the leadership.
- 25:10And so what I do is we do that and we go through it bit by a bit.
- 25:13But the fact is that I'm in a place now where I've been doing this for 12 years as a coach,
- 25:19and I've never found So far, I've not not had anybody who's been able to present as well as
- 25:24me or who's been able to write a script as well as me.
- 25:28So instantly, the moment somebody gives me a script to go, well, actually, if we did that so
- 25:32I'll give you a quick example.
- 25:33So tonight, he said to me, I've got seventy four people in the room.
- 25:37And we've got about maybe 14 or 15 of the demo leaders.
- 25:41And what I want them to do is stand up.
- 25:44And, you know, and I want them to be recognized in the room.
- 25:46I said brilliant.
- 25:47So, yeah, I want you to stand I'm gonna stand him up, then I'm gonna spend a couple of
- 25:51minutes talking about what we're gonna do with these guys as leadership.
- 25:54I said that's a terrible idea.
- 25:55And he says, why?
- 25:56I said, would you wanna stand up for 2 minutes in silence while everybody is looking at you?
- 26:01And he went, no.
- 26:02I says, then that's not what we're gonna do.
- 26:04We'll get them to stand up.
- 26:05You say who they are, and they're amazing.
- 26:07Everybody has random applause, then they sit down, then you do the 2 minutes.
- 26:11He went, that's brilliant.
- 26:13Mhmm.
- 26:13That's the dip.
- 26:14That's my 25 years, half a million people, 60 Countries.
- 26:19Drilled into me watching other people, being a speaker, every audience you can imagine.
- 26:24I understand that.
- 26:25And he's a he was he's a brilliant speaker going working with, actually.
- 26:30Mhmm.
- 26:30But he wants to just be is is a nana at 10, but he wants to be 10.
- 26:34He wants to be a rock star.
- 26:35And so that is, you know, that was a simple example.
- 26:38And it's a so sometimes he's already got a speech like that.
- 26:41We go through it line by line, and I changed what needs to be changed.
- 26:45So do you find that a lot of the keynotes so it's a keynote speech at that point, or is it
- 26:49just like a speech to, a company So do you do different types?
- 26:53You do keynotes.
- 26:54You do it was, leadership speaking at quarterly meetings, board meetings, every type, all types
- 27:00of speaking, David.
- 27:02It's only important speaking because I won't pay my fee for a small for a small talk.
- 27:06I mean, why would you?
- 27:07You know, you know, I charge a fortune.
- 27:09So they're not gonna pay that.
- 27:11They're not gonna pay that for, you know, it has to have a level of importance.
- 27:15Right.
- 27:15Besides which, you know, by the time you get a get a boss who's a chief exec, He's done a
- 27:21million team meetings.
- 27:23Right.
- 27:23Right.
- 27:23For sure.
- 27:24But he he's maybe only done 2 board meetings.
- 27:27Mhmm.
- 27:28And, you know, honestly, I could go on forever, but, you know, there are big talks.
- 27:33It's people who've who've got a talk to giving Budapest like I had earlier this year.
- 27:38And it's, you know, it's Budapest.
- 27:41She's she was, she's taken over the family firm.
- 27:44They've got a new new product.
- 27:45If it doesn't work, it's gonna go under.
- 27:48You know, she's nervous.
- 27:49Right?
- 27:50She's nervous, but excited, but she needs to nail that talk.
- 27:53She needs to nail it.
- 27:55And so we sit there and we're working on that's an important talk, you know, Edigate who is in
- 28:01Monaco, and he we spent 2 hours last week because he's just, he's just he wanted just a
- 28:07bit of an assistance on the small talk, actually, that he's given a monthly meeting but
- 28:12we've worked together before, like, 14 to 15 times.
- 28:15And he just said, you know, I need a bit of help, Dave.
- 28:18I'm I'm not really sure what to do with this.
- 28:19So it shows me a few slides, and then I say, right.
- 28:22But it's an important meeting because his staff have doubled in a in a year from 250 to 500.
- 28:28Over the next year, it's gonna be 500, maybe a 1000.
- 28:31It's had 10 years.
- 28:32It's entirely possible a guy is gonna be a billionaire.
- 28:34It's just He's just insane what they're doing.
- 28:36It's a privately held company.
- 28:38And he started it he started it at 14 on his bedroom table.
- 28:42So the thing is that the the the, you know, sometimes it's a single very, very important
- 28:49talk.
- 28:50Or in his case, it's getting to the stage where he's got so many members of staff.
- 28:54That spread all over the world that every time he even does something like a monthly meeting,
- 28:58it has a massive ripple across the company.
- 29:01So, therefore, it's still important just in a different way.
- 29:05This was such a great interview that we decided to turn it into a 2 part series.
- 29:09Be sure to tune in next week for part 2 so you don't miss out on the amazing content.
- 29:15Thanks for tuning in to authentic live with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
- 29:21healthy change.
- 29:22Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
- 29:29rocksandirhaj.com/blueprint.
- 29:32We'll see you next time.
- 29:34On authentic living with Roxanne.