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iSummon: Steve Jobs Ouija Board Séance · Multiple Nerdgasm

• 0:00
  [Music] welcome to multiple
• 0:02
  nerdgasm your destination for all things
• 0:08
  [Music]
• 0:14
  nerdy all right everyone Thanks for backing us on Kickstarter here we are so
• 0:19
  what are we doing today boys um we've gathered together to summon the ghost of
• 0:24
  Steve Jobs from Beyond the Grave to ask the questions he wasn't able to answer
• 0:29
  before he died died is he buried uh he is buried yeah he's buried I didn't
• 0:32
  think they were allowed to bury you if you died of AIDS uh I thought it had to
• 0:37
  be a chromation I'm not sure he died of AIDS I think sorry complications
• 0:42
  resulting from AIDS kcer ker as a result
• 0:45
  of AIDS the big two cancer AIDS yeah
• 0:49
  crates yeah he died of crates so uh he died uh from what was it liver cancer
• 0:54
  pancreatic pancreatic canc pancreatic crates right right which he ignored at
• 1:00
  the start and tried to use herbal supplements realized quickly that that
• 1:05
  does not work yeah you know what's better than alternative medicine
• 1:07
  medicine medicine yeah yeah yeah well I feel bad for him um yeah he did admit
• 1:12
  later on that maybe he was a bit foolish a bit foolish yeah just goes to show no
• 1:16
  matter how much money you have you can still be pretty [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah
• 1:20
  well in his case he was pretty [ __ ] yeah in a lot of ways well you know what
• 1:24
  I hope more than anything else about tonight is that his children don't watch this
• 1:31
  so if you are one of Steve Jobs's kids put a link in the
• 1:35
  comments put a comment in the comment section below and let us know what you
• 1:39
  think of um the way that we've metaphorically urinated on your death
• 1:44
  grade okay so uh we're doing this because uh we originally were talking
• 1:48
  about this on the podcast we had one question to ask Steve Jobs now it was so
• 1:52
  long ago I actually remember what that your was uh sorry who was
• 1:57
  you I are you on our podcast so does
• 2:00
  anyone does anyone remember uh what the question we originally wanted to ask was
• 2:05
  it was uh The Story Goes that Apple um named the Macintosh they Nam the
• 2:12
  Macintosh the Macintosh because it was his favorite type of
• 2:16
  apple apple however you had another theory well I was watching an episode of
• 2:21
  get smart on Triple one hits available on fox
• 2:26
  tail we sponsored by fox trying to
• 2:32
  I'm just wait wait for the money to roll
• 2:36
  in so uh was watching an episode of get
• 2:40
  smart and there was a code word that the two agents said to each other to
• 2:45
  identify themselves as agents and the code word was Apple Macintosh right
• 2:50
  right so if we met in the hallway right or the elevator outside
• 2:56
  say y or in the back or in the Park yeah
• 3:01
  or even upstairs in your
• 3:05
  room um then I would say
• 3:11
  Apple Macintosh and then we know that was all all
• 3:20
  okay and you would know it was on I would know that you are about to give it
• 3:25
  to me hard so Al the backos gives
• 3:30
  yeah with a name like MacIntosh and me hell I'm
• 3:34
  Macintosh so his favorite scarf so what we're going to do Maia scarf no it's a
• 3:39
  it's a coat it's a coat a rain coat we're going to we're going to try well
• 3:43
  no I look I thought that that was too much of a coincidence to have not been
• 3:47
  the cause yeah interesting although I mean it is a type of Al I know never
• 3:53
  I've heard the story I'm starting to think that it's pretty
• 3:58
  self-explanatory you were there the first
• 4:02
  time the fact is we can't ask him no and if he was here we'd ask him mhm the
• 4:07
  other thing we would we we wanted to address uh was we've seen a number of
• 4:13
  kickstarters over the years where people donated money uh the kickstarter took
• 4:19
  their money took their money and then kind of never happened in one way or
• 4:22
  another now we I'll be honest we almost almost on borderline because it's been a
• 4:29
  little while yeah and I don't know what I'm going to get to edit this mat so
• 4:32
  I'll be honest I'm still I'm still in that camp but if you're seeing this now
• 4:35
  it means we did do it and so we we need some congratulations so
• 4:41
  congratulations we also saw a lot of kickstarters that were really dumb ideas
• 4:45
  that people just really got on board and thousands of people threw in money this
• 4:49
  was not one of those so to the five people that donated cash to us thanks
• 4:55
  how do we get the $500 goal all to be honest people are in this room right
• 5:02
  now no look we do absolutely there are people who I don't I don't know who you
• 5:07
  are you donated money one person thank you than you the rest are our family
• 5:13
  they were the first one and can I say to Luke's mom who I think thre in the
• 5:19
  most a special thanks to you thanks thanks Carol from
• 5:24
  Sydney so uh we're going to try and raise the ghost of Steve Jobs yeah with
• 5:29
  this Ouija board yeah we're going to try and communicate through the medium of
• 5:33
  this Ouija board here and we're going to ask him some questions and some
• 5:37
  questions that some uh listeners have written yeah that's right so we've got
• 5:41
  our question we're going to start with that um test the waters and then we've
• 5:45
  got a a few things that our listeners would like to know can I just say before
• 5:48
  we start uh I'm very hesitant about doing this um why is that I don't really
• 5:53
  want to do it I don't know it's just messing with the dark arts to me as a
• 5:57
  materialist it seems you know hard nothing's going to happen but if I get
• 6:01
  haunted by the I really [ __ ] pissed off yeah and I think we can all agree
• 6:07
  Dave's mom is not to know we did this because I will no longer be allowed
• 6:13
  in Dave's house jeez I I can't wait to tell her what I did doing last night I was fcking
• 6:18
  around get out my house yeah typical Dave do still live with his
• 6:24
  mom before we begin I think it's important to make sure that he's around
• 6:30
  cuz it could be that we're communicating um with a ghost that we don't even we
• 6:34
  don't know if it's going to be Steve we don't know but I took the time uh to on
• 6:39
  my iPad which seemed appropriate to obtain some um software which uh alleges
• 6:45
  it's able to detect the presence of Paranormal Activity of um ghosts that
• 6:51
  great classic film yep yep so if anyone's watching that nearby click to
• 6:55
  the the link below to download the torrent Paranormal Activity who's who's sponsoring
• 7:02
  that we're going to be in so much trouble on this we're going to be the front page of
• 7:08
  Mac Rumors the internet's going to destroy us yeah that's fine now the
• 7:13
  first app I'd like to try is called ghost scan so let's just open this up
• 7:18
  here and what what part of the iPad does this used to
• 7:23
  detect it's obviously headone Jack it's ad supported as you can see Game of War
• 7:29
  yeah so it's also so did we already spend our budget and couldn't even
• 7:33
  afford to buy the app out right yeah that's right yeah this is this is ghost
• 7:37
  sound light let's see if it works first and there we go I've clicked on the ad so
• 7:44
  uh so they get what's this another ad crazy Kings you've obviously played a
• 7:49
  lot of games on here um if I had my iPad it it' just be weird porn adver now
• 7:55
  right so I've got some options here more apps remove ads that sounds like it's
• 8:00
  money let's start there right settings or start let's let's start what is this
• 8:05
  a review hit the start button see [ __ ] hell um press finger flat on
• 8:11
  scanner can I can I please what scanner it's a there's no scanner on the iPad
• 8:15
  screen how do you explain I don't know why it was upside
• 8:18
  down it's a pentagram it's scanny
• 8:22
  analy scan result this is [ __ ] all
• 8:26
  right 46% chance of nearby ghost and
• 8:30
  Panda Pop is a fantastic game out now from the makers of was that game before
• 8:36
  what the [ __ ] is Panda Pop you got can we just stop filming I
• 8:41
  want to play Panda 46% chance of nearby ghost near to
• 8:47
  Luke me but I don't know how many near you I mean you're almost a foot away all
• 8:52
  right to wait for 10 second this isn't the paid version so we do have to wait
• 8:56
  yeah that's right to cool down wait is that done is randomly throw out a variable that's
• 9:02
  it I don't know what you're talking about Dave it like game of
• 9:06
  war quite clearly states start start is [ __ ] [ __ ] now who do we want to test
• 9:13
  I do oh well how did it look it was where your finger
• 9:17
  was that's strange to look exactly like Luke's fingerprint earlier so who whoa
• 9:22
  whoa you guys just blew my mind yeah twins
• 9:27
  50% okay so so maybe the ghosts over that way so mat if you do this and and
• 9:33
  we and we get a higher reading than 50% then we'll know that the ghost of Steve
• 9:36
  Jobs is somewhere somewhere over here wait don't we have to like ask him to
• 9:39
  come or something first like I said you don't ask him to come you just work him
• 9:43
  until he comes right okay is it just the combined energy of the room that wants
• 9:47
  him here I sent him an invite on my there's no formal invitation or
• 9:50
  something we don't formally ask him to come all right well we got to check if
• 9:53
  he's if there's any spirit because it's like it's like a game of Chinese
• 9:56
  Whispers or if they call it in China Whispers um where you just kind of ask
• 10:02
  whatever spirit's in the room Steve Jobs here and they go oh hold on I'll check
• 10:05
  Steve here get Steve yeah no Steve Joby
• 10:11
  yeah and come in yeah all right so give that of a scin that looks exactly like
• 10:16
  mine it's it's it doesn't it looks different it looks like yeah well it's it's a power I
• 10:22
  have let's see skin
• 10:26
  result W so it's somewhere
• 10:32
  I want to watch the kitty video can I just say with all the cat
• 10:38
  videos and Dick videos that are pretty much making up 90% of the internet right
• 10:43
  now I think logical progression is that within a year we're all going to be
• 10:47
  watching cat dick videos yeah right you know what I mean yeah yep
• 10:52
  yep that's science yeah well start watching
• 10:57
  those and you can find Matt's Blog in
• 11:00
  the links below so 16% is gone yeah
• 11:04
  that's G well look maybe that me for this let's move on to the next app look
• 11:11
  if is there some kind of Ghost Radar or something we funny should mention that
• 11:16
  for [ __ ] sake let's have a look this is uh this is made by North Panda Creative
• 11:19
  Group cre as a Panda Pop uh here we go
• 11:23
  detecting it is [ __ ] out feel sorry Matt you need to
• 11:30
  pay the 99 [ __ ] cents these cost wa there's
• 11:36
  two there are two entities in the room Steve Jobs and the
• 11:43
  AIDS the AIDS virus wait that's it's in the room it's in the room it's somewhere
• 11:49
  coming from over here they're moving there's another one wow this is some
• 11:53
  heavy some heavy ghost activity in the room yeah okay so I think we can maybe
• 11:59
  try to all right there's some okay I think I think it's safe to say there are
• 12:03
  Spirit Spirits present in the M they're here so very scientific why don't we all
• 12:09
  try and call out to Steve in some manner do we hold hands or um I think we have
• 12:14
  to we can do that is this is this no I just want a Hot Heads This is just nice
• 12:21
  oh don't break the circle apparently that's what I right well it's more of a
• 12:25
  trapezoid at this stage this is the still by the way that's going to get on
• 12:30
  the internet I just want you guys to know that right now before the internet
• 12:34
  starts harassing us into suicide that's right this is the last time we're ever
• 12:38
  going to have together where we're actually happy see the smiles that's it yeah all
• 12:44
  right [Music] Sten
• 12:50
  stepen jobs Sten jobs are you
• 12:56
  there Steven call him St how do we know if he's there Steve are you there lure
• 13:03
  him in with some kale Steve Jobs are you there I can feel
• 13:09
  something that's my leg shaking Matt has quite firm manly hands
• 13:16
  he does whereas Luke has soft dainty hands that have never
• 13:22
  presumably done a hard days look at that they're so they're like like a
• 13:25
  four-year-old boys Matt's been toiling in the fields true the fields of
• 13:32
  keyboards all right Steve a lot of people pay good [ __ ] money for this
• 13:37
  Kickstarter not a lot but five people played reasonable money for this yeah so
• 13:41
  we want you to come into the room to answer us some questions from the other
• 13:46
  side we don't mean you any disrespect well I do I think you're a dick but I
• 13:50
  think your exact words were you were a [ __ ] and you died a
• 13:53
  [ __ ] does sound like something I would say yeah so uh with that in uh don't do
• 13:59
  it for me but do it for the other boys cuz they're very eager to hear what you
• 14:03
  have to say why the [ __ ] do you all have beards why don't have a beard yeah can
• 14:08
  you get the memo can't I can't grow a beard well you can't be in multiple
• 14:12
  beard gasm that's a spin-off serious a shame that's a shame that's what we've
• 14:17
  been doing for the last three weeks ah right yeah okay so how does this work
• 14:23
  all right well uh do we know how to use a Ouija board no I you you're the most
• 14:30
  gothy out of us when I was younger I did I did dabble with the the old Ouija
• 14:35
  board so uh my understanding is we all
• 14:39
  Place uh dicks dick we place our dicks onto the uh pick more flops
• 14:46
  on should we is it one or two fingers uh what do you feel most comfortable with
• 14:51
  what do you feel more comfortable with I think most people are comfortable with two
• 14:55
  fingers two fingers any more than that is not comfortable two fingers yeah
• 14:59
  just on the three is too many one is too few too few okay all right can we all
• 15:06
  fit can we alling cuz I mean that's like eight fingers that's right that's a lot
• 15:11
  of fingers I think we can fit and if it's uncomfortable Steve will tell see
• 15:15
  if you're uncomfortable with eight fingers so what's what's meant to happen
• 15:19
  now all right well well we ask a question list yeah and then Steve will
• 15:25
  answer our questions so um just before we begin because I once our hands are on
• 15:30
  I can't actually see where anything is so not that we'd have to because it's
• 15:33
  going to be the ghost of s that's going to be moving this but me just have a
• 15:36
  look we've got hello and goodbye yes we've got um I believe this is a
• 15:41
  mystical symbol of power where the thing is supposed to begin no that's just when
• 15:45
  we talk about the Jews I'm anymore I'm assuming it'll come
• 15:49
  up all right a feeling it'll come up um we've got yes and
• 15:54
  no yeah but people are going to be watching this so it's going to be
• 15:57
  reversed oh right um we've got rephrase and repeat repeat Y in case you didn't
• 16:04
  hear us uh and numbers down the side um and
• 16:10
  if it comes up here then it's an ad for the mystical spirit board which you can
• 16:14
  purchase from the link below right all right so we'll begin on
• 16:20
  the mystical star of
• 16:24
  ju as I believe it's called I believe so so let's start off with an easy question
• 16:28
  question Steve are you
• 16:36
  here what's looking
• 16:39
  positive I'm not even Ming my head
• 16:45
  oh what's it say repeat the
• 16:49
  question Steve Steve are you here wait Steve
• 16:55
  Jobs are you here yeah Steve Jobs of
• 17:00
  Apple Computer yeah previously of Apple
• 17:04
  yeah he's here he's here here ladies and gentlemen I Steve is in the in the house
• 17:10
  is that the name of this video Steve is in the house all right it always resets
• 17:16
  that's going to take a every time do we want to start off with our
• 17:21
  question go for a yes or no answer or no all right yes or no what gave you the
• 17:28
  idea wait for the Apple Macintosh
• 17:34
  wait not all right let's break it down was
• 17:40
  the Apple Macintosh named after an
• 17:48
  apple what's going on no no come on he's admitted it who's who's moving it so
• 17:54
  it's not named after the Apple Steve is moving it Dave what you understand about
• 17:59
  was it named after an episode of get
• 18:04
  smart no my
• 18:09
  God it was it was it was right now so
• 18:13
  now we know all right start all right thanks yeah all
• 18:19
  right so you can tune out now um unless you rode in in which case sorry Steve's
• 18:23
  just resetting it for us um God
• 18:29
  and we've got maybe the ghost has entered your
• 18:35
  lungs this is not good all right so um is is anyone else sweating or is it yeah
• 18:40
  it's warm in here is it light I feel it's
• 18:45
  probably feel like I'm going to faint do not lose
• 18:51
  Consciousness and whatever you do do not put both feet on the floor oh or it will
• 18:56
  enter your body well there we are all right next question so we've got
• 19:03
  some questions here that you the listeners with the viewers of this but
• 19:07
  the listeners of the podcast um wrote in and the
• 19:12
  first question which may take a while to
• 19:15
  answer for Steve is which Android phone should I
• 19:21
  buy so Steve which Android phone should people buy [ __ ] I hope it's on the
• 19:26
  Galaxy Nexus it's going to take forever to spell it out I'm hoping it's the
• 19:35
  S5 I don't I hope Steve knows where things
• 19:39
  are
• 19:45
  what I'm not even my
• 19:52
  I
• 19:57
  feel and no [ __ ] [Applause]
• 20:03
  off well there you have it you should get the
• 20:07
  I he really does like the iPhone
• 20:11
  yeah oh [ __ ] I can't breathe all right we've got another Apple related question
• 20:17
  here this could uh require a yes or a no
• 20:20
  or it could be a long D tribe about um
• 20:26
  Jew if it comes back to here we'll know it's about the Jew but the question asks
• 20:31
  are you happy with the eyewatch specifically are you happy that it came
• 20:35
  out with infinity different versions it's not called the ey watch first of
• 20:40
  all Apple watch why did they call it the eyew watch because that sounds like
• 20:44
  you're a pervert I what the iPad doesn't but anyway back to the question are you
• 20:50
  happy with the Apple watch and the 50 million colors that comes
• 20:54
  in oh thought it was going oh going to smell I was really
• 21:00
  hoping go for a yes or a no
• 21:08
  wait oh that's rude Steve is there a one for
• 21:14
  space all right so for those who don't
• 21:19
  know [ __ ] no [ __ ] hell he was a man of few
• 21:26
  words but he made those words
• 21:29
  um that's uh that's all right I'm
• 21:33
  writing that down okay so [ __ ] [ __ ] no
• 21:37
  no wow that's it's just some powerful [ __ ] all right
• 21:44
  so next question which I'm sure will'll elicit a very different response to the
• 21:49
  previous M were you happy with Ashton
• 21:53
  Kutcher's portrayal of you in the film
• 21:57
  jobs
• 22:01
  if yes oh oh he was happy wow okay that
• 22:06
  El I I thought the fake beard looked ridiculous but that's only cuz I've got
• 22:12
  a real beard yeah it's nice to a real beard it is it's lovely it's luxurious
• 22:17
  oh I'm sorry the best is when you you need to think about something you can
• 22:20
  just you think like this yeah you think power and then you wake up and you go
• 22:26
  I'm a man look at this beard man would you like to have it Go just just just go
• 22:31
  like this I'm fine it's easy to think that's pretty upsetting you know what I love I just
• 22:37
  love touching the smooth soft skin of a woman or or pre-adolescent boy you know
• 22:42
  what I mean Steve do you
• 22:46
  like PR adolescent voice he's going to the Jews oh you heard it here first
• 22:52
  folks Steve Jobs likes touching pre-adolescent Jewish boys no that's not
• 22:57
  so I'm just filling that in here under Ashton quiter
• 23:00
  pre adolescent Jew
• 23:05
  [Music]
• 23:09
  jews. AIDS Gallery
• 23:13
  Galler BHP okay bring the oil into this
• 23:18
  okay Mrs E Smith asks what's the quickest way to get from warington
• 23:24
  County to the Sydney CBD
• 23:30
  a a p
• 23:35
  p
• 23:38
  p what l l what
• 23:46
  [Laughter]
• 23:55
  e there you go yes but the listener goes on to say I tried Apple
• 24:01
  Maps nothing nothing okay all right so
• 24:08
  uh what seven seven
• 24:14
  eight five five well there you go Mrs E Smith you take the 785 bus from
• 24:20
  warington station all the way into the city thanks
• 24:24
  Steve how does he know that he's a ghost he know right how Works some of these questions
• 24:31
  aren't specifically ones that Steve Jobs would know but yeah you know I mean they
• 24:35
  do they do know everything okay um oh
• 24:38
  interesting um is it apartment 32A mhm or is it the garbage room right this
• 24:44
  listener would like to know once and for all what's down there yeah I hope I hope
• 24:48
  it doesn't want to spell garbage room cuz that's going to take a long
• 24:53
  time yeah oh is that a three yeah two hey hey
• 24:59
  all right it is 328 so what kind of rent do you pay down
• 25:03
  there [ __ ] like 30 bucks a month [ __ ] a mon oh wow well I guess we're not
• 25:09
  going to be able to make any more sketches about it now that I know yeah
• 25:12
  that's right they'll be down there with you trying to suet yeah maybe you should
• 25:16
  get like the key off that maybe probably yeah does anyone anyone here have any
• 25:23
  additional questions you I do Steve when will I die let that's
• 25:29
  morbid it just went back to the Jew so I don't know whether that means
• 25:34
  you're going to die in the next Holocaust right or whether you're going
• 25:38
  to be taken out by snipers as you are butchering as many Jews as you can well
• 25:43
  I'm being UNP Jewish so uh which part probably the most of the nose just the
• 25:49
  forkin and that's gone yeah that is gone did you um you missed this on the on the
• 25:55
  podcast but when you you know when you when you got the snip I didn't get the
• 26:00
  snip did uh he was accidentally circumcised it was torn you know when
• 26:05
  you're running through a gate really fast and you can like get something
• 26:08
  snagged and it tears Dave tore his forkin coming out of his mother's
• 26:17
  vagina is that true no I was Li if you're listening shout out to you I was
• 26:22
  born without a forkin because of the the doctors were like the doctors were L
• 26:27
  like what the [ __ ] did you have a twin who was a rabbi he he cut it off in utero cut it
• 26:34
  off and then or bit it off a little you and your twin brother
• 26:38
  was sucking each other off in the womb He
• 26:43
  Slipped swallowed your forkin choked and died on it yeah yeah you were born and
• 26:49
  then a dead baby with a expiated foreskin throat was born and that's the story of your
• 26:55
  birth don't I'm sorry Mom anything else you want to ask Dave yeah I do actually
• 27:02
  personal favors for him perhaps well I just uh um Apple's probably one of the
• 27:06
  most uh successful companies in the world now um but I'd like to know uh
• 27:12
  whether he thinks that uh it's going to last another 10 years or they've only
• 27:16
  got a few more years before they start they start losing out how many years
• 27:23
  Steve n well that's that's oddly specific yeah well he knows n years okay
• 27:29
  can go see the future he said 10 years but he was running up yeah well he's
• 27:33
  he's got a certain amount of faith in Tim Cook 9 years worth of yeah I say so
• 27:37
  and look in answer your question Luke if we're bestoring any kind of ten kinetic
• 27:41
  powers on at all sure they can see the the future on I got I got one more
• 27:45
  question for Steve when Tim offered you his liver why did you turn it
• 27:53
  down it's going towards the Jews hey
• 28:01
  [Laughter]
• 28:09
  for [ __ ] sake all right now I got I got I got one more question for him okay uh I've
• 28:16
  always wondered if ghosts can affect the the physical world so I would like to
• 28:20
  know if Steve [Music] Jobs I think I know what he's going to ask well give me a
• 28:27
  [ __ ] blow job yes all right Steve
• 28:30
  Jobs will you suck Dave
• 28:34
  off oh [ __ ] really Steve no come on okay I'm going to ask one more time but more
• 28:39
  poly yeah Steve please please please
• 28:46
  suck oh [ __ ] off Steve come on do it
• 28:50
  come on suck him off suck him off suck
• 28:53
  him off suck him off suck him off suck
• 28:59
  him off suck him off oh goodbye
• 29:05
  goodbye all right well we pissed him off and he
• 29:08
  left will you suck me off no no what's a
• 29:14
  shame well first of all I'd like to apologize uh to Steve's family uh anyone
• 29:20
  that knew him really and knew what a Kind and Generous man he was that we've
• 29:24
  just ridiculed him here today although I would to remind you of Dave's uh parting
• 29:29
  message uh to him where he said you were a [ __ ] and you died a [ __ ] I would like
• 29:34
  to point out that we've presented his words here if if anyone has betrayed him as a
• 29:41
  [ __ ] it's himself and to summarize
• 29:43
  Steve's words today were yes no iPhone
• 29:49
  [ __ ] no yes pre-adolescent
• 29:54
  Jews the number 785 bus
• 29:59
  32A and no that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you
• 30:06
  enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please
• 30:09
  subscribe and item to receive episodes automatically we'll see you next
• 30:16
  [Music]
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  time
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  [Music]
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  [Applause]
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  [Music]
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  [Music]