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EP. 34 CLIP* 50/50 in Open Relationships · We Talk Back

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: In my last relationship, and I talked about this last
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: week too, Like I mentioned open, this is before we
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: did this? Was this before we did the recording? I
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: feel like it was you had his email and I
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: saw he was still communicating with some bitches that I
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: had actually forbid him. Like I would never like say
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: you can't be friends with these people, but these particular
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: two people, like they've vandalized ship, They've done dumb ship.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, and once we start elevating and these
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: people are still in your life, like they see red
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: when they don't get their fucking weight. So I don't
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: ever want that type of person around me man or woman,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And you should feel the same way. But he was
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: still communicating with them, So I'm like, listen, you want
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: an open relationship, Like that's how I started the conversation,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Like do you? So, then that way you won't feel
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: like you're having a sneak. You won't have to do
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: this via email. You could just text them or call
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: them on the phone in front of me if you
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: wanted to, just as long as you know I'm on
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the same type of time. But that's not something that
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: and maybe this is, uh, this is would you say
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: that an open relationship, you see that more in the
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: white community as opposed to black Like, how many people,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: how many black people beyond an open relationship? What the
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: guy and girlfriend relationship? Big big lariously. I don't know.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: We have a ton of couples and open relationships. But
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I've met mostly white people. Yeah, mostly white people, like
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: usually weird white people. But are they still together? I
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: feel like this, this would be the um case study.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Most of them are married, or that's what I'm saying, Like,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I feel like relationships like that may last longer because
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: what do you have? You have nothing to hide. I
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: think with regard to that, it starts that way if
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: that any point later in the relationship you introduce it,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: not unless you're just very open with everything else like that.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: That was a conversation in my last relation because he
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: he was like, you know, before we break up, maybe
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: we should try and open relation. I'm like, no, because
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: when we first met, you were doing you and I
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: was doing me this much waiting on you, so you
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: no longer have that opportunity. I would do something like
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: that with a new person, where we set those ground
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: rules one yeah, like that, I can't I can't do
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: that because you've lost that grace. And then I would
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: say to you, as you meet new people and men especially,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: it's like, maybe don't reveal everything, but like talk about
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: that last relationship and how like this became a problem
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: and like we maybe should have started at the beginning
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: and then maybe it could have seen how it went
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: versus like you literally see him still sneaking and you're like, yo,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: so do you want to open relationship for I can't
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: see you like yes, like what the fun? And then
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: just see his reaction too, because it's like you'll see
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: like he'll either he'll either get insecure and be like
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: want to protect his side, bitches, or he'll be like
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: and not want you to do it, or he'll be like, hey,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: all right, I got three other people I'm already talking to,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Like go ahead, you can talk to people and then
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: we can see where this goes. Like but not to
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: just but like as far as like what happens long term,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: it's like I haven't really been able to follow up
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: like with people that I met like online or like
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: that I talked to you that we're in open relationships.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: But it's like oftentimes it just seems like if it
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: started that way, it's better and it has a long
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: term potential versus like whenever it gets introduced later as
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: a ditch effort to save the relationship. No, it's like
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: having a kid to save your marriage. It's like, yeah,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: it's too your it's too gone, like you guys know,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: because I think it's another misconception, or maybe I said
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: that before, but it's like people don't think that individuals
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: and open relationships are committed to one another. Like y'all committed,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: y'all committed to whatever it is together, whatever it is,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: and yeah, that's that's an importance, And it just seems
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: like a stronger a stronger relationship as far as I'm concerned.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: That's the projection. That's the projection where they project in
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: their ego what they would think. Oh, if I'm in
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: that situation, then we're not committed to each other. Because
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: my version of commitment is you do exactly what the
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: funk I want you to do whenever the funk I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: want you to do it. That's insecurity. That's ego projecting.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: That should happen to me all the time. It literally
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: it would hurt. It would hurt my heart though, because
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: people would be coming at me straight up, don't even
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: know me. They're like, and then they just straight up
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: killing me, just like you are this, you are that,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: you need Jesus, you need this, you need that. You
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: don't know it's this child. They're in fake ass monogamous
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: relationships where where he's sucking a bunch of business and
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: then one day you like, funk that I'm gonna go
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: a nigger, Like that's just what happens, and it's just
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: is And here's a lot to tell your stad was
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: all about it. Yeah you okay. So I was saying
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: something earlier and she just I think I got the
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: indicator that she disagreed. I was talking about the long
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: term thing, like if you start with it, it's good.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: If you try to introduce it later, it's bad. She
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: had to rebuttal to that. I think. I'm just thinking
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: about the people that we do know, and I don't
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: think they I don't think any of them started out
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: in an open relationship, like we're the only ones I
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: know that have started that, But they did start with
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: open communication and openness, so like they may not have
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: been actively having sets with other people, but they were
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: able to openly communicate about things that they wanted and
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: what they just anything communication wise, if you're able to
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: communicate with and be honest with your partner, then I
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: feel like it's okay to introduced this idea, like, hey,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: you know, we're both always horny, maybe we should other people?
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: What do you think, you know, or whatever it might be.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I think if you're able to openly communicate with your partner,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: then I don't think there'd be anything wrong about bringing
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: up this idea. Yeah, that's probably a projection of mine too,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: because based on based on my experience with having its
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: start and then it be you know, successful, So like
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: that's probably just that's that's my subjective experience. I mean,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: like we were openly communicating. We weren't in an open
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: relationship when we started dating. Was it was unspoken