Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / The Eds: Fatherhood Confessions

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The Eds: Fatherhood Confessions · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

0:00
Speaker 1: This is the EDS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyave.
0:05
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the EDS podcast.
0:07
Speaker 2: We are on location at Bottle Rock Festival and today's
0:12
Speaker 2: special guest, Oh, I can't wait to share with this
0:15
Speaker 2: our very first podcast.
0:19
Speaker 1: Guest, Shane Helloa Soudent. Welcome back, and of course.
0:25
Speaker 2: You know we got Polly Connell, sorry about that here
0:31
Speaker 2: with us and we are going to talk about Father's Day.
0:37
Speaker 1: You guys have any experience with that? Okay? Now, Father's
0:43
Speaker 1: Day is a special day for us.
0:45
Speaker 2: You know, it's the one day year that you know,
0:47
Speaker 2: the kids get to opportunity to learn to celebrate the
0:53
Speaker 2: us as fathers, like everything we've done for them equally
0:57
Speaker 2: important as you know, Mother's Day.
0:59
Speaker 1: They get there one day. I'm not a big holiday guy.
1:03
Speaker 2: I think Father's Day, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving and all especially
1:10
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day, this should be every day. You should celebrate
1:12
Speaker 2: each other every day. It just makes a better relationship
1:15
Speaker 2: and better life. You know, to leave it to one
1:17
Speaker 2: day years, I don't think it's that important. So let's
1:22
Speaker 2: just say Father's Day coming up being celebrated. We are
1:26
Speaker 2: going to talk about your experience growing up. Paulli, who
1:31
Speaker 2: was your father figure growing up and what kind of
1:33
Speaker 2: impact did he have on you?
1:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's uh, you know, well my dad's past, so
1:42
Speaker 3: it's always a tough conversation to be honest. Well, my
1:47
Speaker 3: dad was the guy that I never taught would be gone. Yeah.
1:51
Speaker 3: I always would expected him to be there to the end,
1:54
Speaker 3: no matter what.
1:55
Speaker 4: And ask how old you were when to pass?
1:58
Speaker 3: Yeah I was forty two. Yeah, so he just passed
2:02
Speaker 3: eight years ago. And you know he was He was
2:04
Speaker 3: a very strong demeanor man. Moral code was always on point.
2:10
Speaker 3: Taught me right from wrong, and taught me how to
2:13
Speaker 3: be nice to people. And we can't. We grew up
2:16
Speaker 3: in a place in our end, not not a lot
2:18
Speaker 3: of a lot of money, not a lot of things
2:20
Speaker 3: going on, but he always made it feel right, and
2:24
Speaker 3: I guess you know, he always taught me how to
2:27
Speaker 3: be above even when you fell below. And that's something
2:30
Speaker 3: that I always took away, like, no matter what you have,
2:33
Speaker 3: you can you can you can make yourself and everybody
2:35
Speaker 3: around you feel like this. And that's what he kind
2:38
Speaker 3: of gave to me. It's not about you know, what
2:40
Speaker 3: you bring to the tables, what you have at that moment.
2:43
Speaker 3: So I guess for me as being a dad. Now
2:46
Speaker 3: I reflect that and I can see that with my kids.
2:48
Speaker 3: So as you know, I'm trying to teach what I
2:51
Speaker 3: learned from my father to them. But obviously my kids
2:54
Speaker 3: are you know, younger compared to things have changed. But
2:58
Speaker 3: he was a very big, yeah, very big statement in
3:01
Speaker 3: my life. He made made a lot of made a
3:03
Speaker 3: lot of impressions that last till today.
3:06
Speaker 2: What's a favorite memory that you remember from your dad,
3:09
Speaker 2: like that one, maybe that talk or that moment where
3:12
Speaker 2: he just made a huge impact in your life My
3:15
Speaker 2: life up yea.
3:17
Speaker 3: And he would tell me it was going to be okay.
3:21
Speaker 3: After he would absolutely make sure I wouldn't understand everything
3:24
Speaker 3: that I did was so wrong. Yeah, but he always
3:26
Speaker 3: gave me an out and made me realize that mistakes
3:30
Speaker 3: are okay, but they're not good to keep on making.
3:33
Speaker 3: And you know, matured me in somewhat somewhat of a way.
3:36
Speaker 3: And you know, back in the day, the fist was
3:39
Speaker 3: the ruler when you were growing up in Ireland, that's
3:42
Speaker 3: you were always afraid of it. And it was kind
3:45
Speaker 3: of like, you know, learning to like watch my dad
3:49
Speaker 3: because I was the youngest child in the house, so
3:51
Speaker 3: he's already dealt with two of my brothers, and he
3:54
Speaker 3: had the changes of dad because times have changed. So
3:57
Speaker 3: I was watching I didn't even know from my dad.
3:59
Speaker 3: I was watching changes a dad as I was growing
4:02
Speaker 3: up from what I seen how he reacted with my brothers.
4:05
Speaker 3: So that was an impressible thing. And I guess that
4:07
Speaker 3: maybe matured me, is it, dad?
4:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, well yeah.
4:11
Speaker 5: It sound like he had a pretty big impact on
4:14
Speaker 5: the way you are today.
4:15
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Respectful. He told me to respect
4:18
Speaker 3: my elders.
4:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think that's a generation thing because that's
4:23
Speaker 2: how I grew up. Respect your elders. Doesn't matter what
4:25
Speaker 2: kind of clips they are. You just respect your dad,
4:27
Speaker 2: to respect them because just because they're older.
4:29
Speaker 3: Right, Like you said to your dad's eighty years old, right,
4:32
Speaker 3: Like it's it's great. Like at this age, he's like,
4:35
Speaker 3: that's what.
4:35
Speaker 5: You certainly got a lot more experience than I did, so,
4:37
Speaker 5: I mean, being twice my age. Yeah yeah, I mean
4:41
Speaker 5: you got you got to count for that for something,
4:43
Speaker 5: of course, you know, And the same with my kids.
4:44
Speaker 5: My kids, you know, I have as young as ten
4:47
Speaker 5: or twelve. I have ten and twelve. And when she's
4:49
Speaker 5: always asked, looking at me like I'm dumb for telling her,
4:52
Speaker 5: and it's like, it's because I have experience I made.
4:56
Speaker 4: I was twelve too, I made mistakes.
4:58
Speaker 5: I'm telling you so you can have a better experience
5:01
Speaker 5: than I did. They don't always get that, but if
5:04
Speaker 5: they respected your elders, right, I think that term comes
5:07
Speaker 5: with respect their experience, that they're looking out for you,
5:11
Speaker 5: that they have something that you know they can pass
5:14
Speaker 5: down to.
5:14
Speaker 4: You, whether it be a neighbor or a relative.
5:17
Speaker 2: Yeah.
5:17
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I think it kind of gets I don't know,
5:20
Speaker 5: it feels like it gets lost.
5:21
Speaker 4: Sometimes it does.
5:22
Speaker 3: Get lost, but you have to keep on it. Yeah,
5:24
Speaker 3: and you have the transition it in. I think as
5:27
Speaker 3: our generation we have to apply that. That's what's important.
5:30
Speaker 3: I think maybe that's why our parents, our fathers have
5:33
Speaker 3: taught us that over the years, is not to give
5:35
Speaker 3: up on that right, you know, because there is going
5:37
Speaker 3: to some much generation that gets skipped.
5:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, So tell me about your father figure.
5:43
Speaker 5: Oh, well, it would be my father. I was fortunate
5:46
Speaker 5: enough to have him in the house. Him and my
5:49
Speaker 5: mother are still married and he's eighty two now. He
5:52
Speaker 5: was he worked a lot, though he wasn't I wouldn't
5:54
Speaker 5: say he was a workaholic, but he did work and
5:58
Speaker 5: he'd come home and he was very He'd come home,
6:02
Speaker 5: he'd make a screwdriver and he would grab the newspaper
6:07
Speaker 5: and he would read and that was the evening.
6:09
Speaker 1: Okay.
6:09
Speaker 5: So I didn't really we didn't play sports together, we
6:12
Speaker 5: didn't really do things together.
6:14
Speaker 4: But he wasn't negative.
6:16
Speaker 5: In any way or like, you know, it wasn't like
6:18
Speaker 5: he was some father from some you know, fifties sitcom
6:22
Speaker 5: where kind of like they don't have time for the
6:24
Speaker 5: kids or they're doing But we just didn't really connect.
6:27
Speaker 5: When we got older, when I was in my twenties,
6:30
Speaker 5: I started to get more connected with him. And then
6:33
Speaker 5: I would say, in my early thirties is when I
6:35
Speaker 5: started to listen to him, okay, And he would always
6:38
Speaker 5: give me my dad doesn't attend a religion or anything,
6:41
Speaker 5: but he does read a lot, read a lot of
6:43
Speaker 5: spirituality things, and he would always try to share things
6:45
Speaker 5: with me. And I always thought, eh, I didn't really
6:47
Speaker 5: care for it.
6:48
Speaker 4: Didn't care for it.
6:48
Speaker 5: Then when I hit early thirties, I started to listen
6:51
Speaker 5: to him. Someone gave me advice about basically listening to
6:54
Speaker 5: my father and so I started listening to my father
6:55
Speaker 5: and realized, hey, he's got some pretty good advice.
6:58
Speaker 4: So a lot of times, I know, I share a
6:59
Speaker 4: lot of stories.
7:00
Speaker 5: With you about my father, and it's always later in life,
7:04
Speaker 5: like in my thirties and forties, that I heard those
7:07
Speaker 5: things from him or got those lessons from him.
7:09
Speaker 4: It's never from when I was a kid.
7:10
Speaker 5: One because we didn't connect very well, but two because
7:14
Speaker 5: I started listening to them when I.
7:16
Speaker 4: Was older, late twenties and early thirties, because you matured. Yeah.
7:19
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then I had kids, and I also had
7:23
Speaker 5: circumstances that caused me to have more of an open mind,
7:26
Speaker 5: so I was more willing to listen and hear what
7:29
Speaker 5: he had to say. Anyway, I get lots of little
7:32
Speaker 5: tidbits for my father that I still carry with me today.
7:35
Speaker 5: And one is that comes to mind right now is
7:38
Speaker 5: I remember one time I was saying, oh, yeah, you know,
7:39
Speaker 5: because grass is green on the other side level and
7:41
Speaker 5: he goes, no, no, And I said, but it's not, and
7:43
Speaker 5: he goes, no, no, no, it is until you get there
7:46
Speaker 5: and then it's no longer.
7:47
Speaker 4: So that made me that day forward.
7:51
Speaker 5: Really, it made me step back and not be so
7:53
Speaker 5: quick to chase the next thing, usually something materialistic, chase
7:57
Speaker 5: and chase and chase, because I know when I get it.
8:00
Speaker 5: I mean, it's not so much trying to teach myself
8:03
Speaker 5: that it's not going to make me happy, but realizing, yeah,
8:06
Speaker 5: I will probably have some fun and some joy or
8:08
Speaker 5: whatever it is, or some satisfaction.
8:10
Speaker 4: But that's but it's going to go away pretty soon,
8:14
Speaker 4: you know, once you get it.
8:15
Speaker 2: So that's a true statement for almost anything in life. Right,
8:20
Speaker 2: There's there's nothing materialistic that will last any longer than
8:25
Speaker 2: your memories. So I'd rather make a memory of something
8:31
Speaker 2: than like, let's say a trip or with some friends.
8:34
Speaker 1: Like what we're doing today.
8:35
Speaker 2: This is going to be an awesome experience at Bottle
8:38
Speaker 2: Rock together and enjoying this awesome event that we can
8:42
Speaker 2: talk about for the rest of our lives, versus let's
8:45
Speaker 2: go buy a couple of ferraris and you know, six
8:48
Speaker 2: months from now we're going to be bored with it.
8:49
Speaker 5: I know you're right because you asked the question of
8:51
Speaker 5: what you know a memory you have from your your
8:53
Speaker 5: father figure and neither of us, And I assume most
8:57
Speaker 5: people wouldn't say, oh, it's when.
8:58
Speaker 4: He bought me this, or he gave me this, but
9:00
Speaker 4: it would rather.
9:01
Speaker 5: Be experiences what you got from your father and so on.
9:04
Speaker 2: So yeah, what kind of experiences have you done, Polly
9:15
Speaker 2: with your kids that you know this is a memory
9:18
Speaker 2: that's going to last with us forever.
9:21
Speaker 3: I mean, I like doing road trips. I love road trips.
9:27
Speaker 3: A couple of years ago, we flew out the Vegas,
9:31
Speaker 3: flew to California. Sorry, spent some time in California. We
9:34
Speaker 3: drove over to Vegas, went to a UFC fight. We
9:36
Speaker 3: just drove and we just hung out, booked the hotels.
9:39
Speaker 3: We didn't didn't do any planning, and it was just
9:43
Speaker 3: like whatever happened happened. And I wanted them to understand
9:46
Speaker 3: that we're here together, so it doesn't matter where we are,
9:49
Speaker 3: We're just going to go. We're just going to keep
9:51
Speaker 3: on happening. And I want them to experience that, like
9:53
Speaker 3: one on one, that like it's okay to like not
9:57
Speaker 3: know where you're going sometimes and when you get there,
10:00
Speaker 3: you make the best, You make the best of what
10:02
Speaker 3: it is. And it was really They still talk about
10:04
Speaker 3: the trip saying like it was so cool and it
10:06
Speaker 3: really was like the driver your two kids in the
10:08
Speaker 3: car across the country and like you're doing all this
10:10
Speaker 3: cool stuff that to me is probably like it was
10:13
Speaker 3: a real big tourning point, especially at their age, where
10:16
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, they're enjoying this as much
10:18
Speaker 3: as I am, and I was learning from it as
10:20
Speaker 3: much as they were.
10:21
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, it sounds like it was a trip with
10:23
Speaker 5: dad as opposed to like where did you go or
10:26
Speaker 5: what did you do? It won't be we went to
10:27
Speaker 5: a UFC fight, we won a road trip with my
10:30
Speaker 5: dad exactly.
10:31
Speaker 4: We're with my dad.
10:32
Speaker 3: Like the stuff that we did even on the road trip,
10:34
Speaker 3: like you know what I mean, like like stopping off
10:36
Speaker 3: to eat on like the side of the road, and
10:38
Speaker 3: like went to these crazy places, like it's not only
10:41
Speaker 3: what you would do, but we just did it because
10:42
Speaker 3: we were like, we didn't have any schedules, so we
10:45
Speaker 3: just whatever happened happened.
10:46
Speaker 1: Did you stop at Eddie's World and the way to base.
10:50
Speaker 4: There's a really place on the side. Oh yeah, and
10:55
Speaker 4: it's got all your stuff ice cream. Yeah, It's like
10:58
Speaker 4: it's like ten thousand square feet of candy. That's all.
11:01
Speaker 4: It is.
11:02
Speaker 2: Bizarre, bizarre, that's funny. You know, on the road trip thing.
11:07
Speaker 2: I got a book from my dad written by Jack
11:11
Speaker 2: Kurek titled On the Road, and it was that book
11:15
Speaker 2: that gave me the guts and desire to just hit
11:19
Speaker 2: the road one day and just go and no matter
11:21
Speaker 2: where I ended up, I ended up.
11:23
Speaker 1: And to this day, I still want to do that.
11:26
Speaker 2: It's in my like genes, like I just want to
11:29
Speaker 2: jump on my Harley and just go, not plan and
11:31
Speaker 2: just when I get there, I get there and I'll
11:33
Speaker 2: figure it out. You know, there's there's so much freedom
11:37
Speaker 2: to that. There is, and it's not necessarily leaving behind
11:40
Speaker 2: your problems or your challenges or your responsibilities. But that
11:45
Speaker 2: freedom to be able to do that is unexplicable.
11:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, no, it is. You're right.
11:52
Speaker 2: I love road trips. Those are my favorite things to do.
11:55
Speaker 2: In fact, I've been trying to talk my wife into
11:56
Speaker 2: going on a road trip to Moab.
11:59
Speaker 4: I just took a trick.
12:00
Speaker 5: It's joy in the journey, then the road trip would
12:02
Speaker 5: be it, right, yeah, but not mow Ab so much.
12:06
Speaker 4: It's the trip as well, the road trip part.
12:09
Speaker 2: And and where there's no Wi Fi or internet connections
12:12
Speaker 2: so that she can be off her phone for at least,
12:14
Speaker 2: you know, that's funny.
12:15
Speaker 3: That's the funny thing on this trip I did with
12:17
Speaker 3: my kids, which were normally like stuck to their phone,
12:20
Speaker 3: there was just conversations going on, which was the other
12:23
Speaker 3: thing that was I never tried to like create the conversation.
12:27
Speaker 3: The conversation just naturally, and it was like, it seemed
12:31
Speaker 3: like the perfect time to eat was when everybody wanted
12:33
Speaker 3: to eat. Yeah, the perfect time to stop was when
12:34
Speaker 3: everybody wanted to stop. It was just natural, So it
12:37
Speaker 3: was it was Yeah, definitely, conversation was cool.
12:40
Speaker 2: So let me go back a little bit too, when
12:42
Speaker 2: you first became a dad and how did that change
12:46
Speaker 2: or shift your world? Like, I don't have kids of
12:50
Speaker 2: my own that I've ever experienced, you know, the birth
12:54
Speaker 2: of a child, and every really good friend of mine
12:56
Speaker 2: that's shared that experience that it's the most magical experience
12:59
Speaker 2: because you made this kid, right, tell me about the
13:02
Speaker 2: first time you became a dad.
13:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, So the first time I became a dad my
13:08
Speaker 3: son Cameron, who is twenty four. He was born in
13:13
Speaker 3: Saint John's and Queens and he was a high risk baby.
13:17
Speaker 3: So I was living here by myself in this country
13:20
Speaker 3: with my ex wife at the time, and we were
13:24
Speaker 3: expecting our first child, very new, very like, very common,
13:29
Speaker 3: like just we just didn't know what to do. And
13:31
Speaker 3: he was We were told that there was a chance
13:33
Speaker 3: that he would not make it, and we were like,
13:35
Speaker 3: you know this, this is like, you know, not news
13:39
Speaker 3: that you want to hear when you have a child.
13:42
Speaker 3: He was born with a thing called gascroskises. It's it's
13:46
Speaker 3: like an intestine developing on the outside rather on the inside.
13:49
Speaker 3: This it was a very big, heavy thing.
13:51
Speaker 5: First one scenes you knew when he was born that
13:54
Speaker 5: he was going to need certain medical care correct regardless,
13:57
Speaker 5: regardless to even if surved he was death.
14:00
Speaker 3: And I always remember it. We we knew that we
14:04
Speaker 3: knew about what was coming up. Was was something that
14:07
Speaker 3: we had no clue about. But we're in the best
14:09
Speaker 3: place in the world, America. Right at the same time,
14:12
Speaker 3: we were like so scared because we're in a country
14:16
Speaker 3: that we don't have anybody. Number One, I'm going to
14:19
Speaker 3: become a dad, She's going to become, you know, a
14:21
Speaker 3: mother too. And I always remember when we sat down
14:25
Speaker 3: with this person, they said, you can you can make
14:27
Speaker 3: a decision right now and not go true with this,
14:29
Speaker 3: and we can make things change and I'm like, I'm
14:33
Speaker 3: a dad. Yeah, I can't do that. Yeah, even though
14:36
Speaker 3: the baby was still you know them in the womb.
14:40
Speaker 3: I was like, no, no, no, no, I'm a dad. Yeah.
14:42
Speaker 3: And they were like, you understand that there's possibility that
14:45
Speaker 3: you know, there is I said, it doesn't matter. That
14:48
Speaker 3: was my first moment I became a dad.
14:50
Speaker 4: Yeah.
14:51
Speaker 3: And I remember I stood on Queen's Boulevard and I
14:52
Speaker 3: was in like New York, and I'm looking at my
14:54
Speaker 3: ex wife going, this is it. We're in for the run.
14:57
Speaker 3: You don't get an option in this situation now, and
15:01
Speaker 3: you have to go with that. And that was my
15:04
Speaker 3: first experience of becoming with that wow, instant over protection, instant.
15:08
Speaker 3: And that's when I knew that you know you just
15:12
Speaker 3: kind of you don't you just never changed from that moment.
15:14
Speaker 3: I can't explain it. Well, you could, but I can't
15:16
Speaker 3: explain it.
15:17
Speaker 1: What about you?
15:18
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, Well, Paul is a very good storyteller.
15:23
Speaker 1: You articulate very it's not a compensation. I can't tell that.
15:27
Speaker 4: Okay.
15:27
Speaker 5: The first time I became a father, I was I
15:29
Speaker 5: don't evenmember how. Though it was twenty four, I was
15:31
Speaker 5: pretty young. I was still in school, and I think I,
15:37
Speaker 5: if I were to look back, it would be I
15:38
Speaker 5: wasn't worried, and I remember not worrying and just being
15:43
Speaker 5: excited because I thought it would be easy. And I thought, oh,
15:47
Speaker 5: I have my parents. I've seen my sister do it
15:49
Speaker 5: like you just have a kid and everyone, all the
15:51
Speaker 5: family members come in and everyone so happy.
15:54
Speaker 4: So I was kind of oblivious that way.
15:57
Speaker 5: And uh, but and I and I've said this to
16:01
Speaker 5: Emily two all the way to I have five kids,
16:03
Speaker 5: so all the way to the fifth kids, she knows
16:05
Speaker 5: this that I don't really get attached here here PAULI
16:09
Speaker 5: is before the child is born, proclaiming he's a father
16:13
Speaker 5: right on public me. I always say, I don't really
16:16
Speaker 5: get attached to about a year, okay, And I don't
16:19
Speaker 5: know why. I'll take care of them, I'll change the
16:22
Speaker 5: divers I'll do everything, but I just I don't connect yet. Yeah,
16:26
Speaker 5: And it's not a it's not something I'm proud of.
16:29
Speaker 5: But then one night they hit about one and I
16:32
Speaker 5: start to see their personalities.
16:34
Speaker 4: It just that's the end of it. Yeah, And all
16:37
Speaker 4: the way to this day, I'm going to tell you
16:38
Speaker 4: I love being with kids.
16:39
Speaker 5: I'm always with kids. It just takes a while for
16:41
Speaker 5: me to really get connected. I might have to do
16:43
Speaker 5: something with my childhood.
16:44
Speaker 4: I don't know.
16:45
Speaker 2: Well do you have that in general with relationships with people.
16:49
Speaker 2: It takes you a while to get to know people
16:52
Speaker 2: or you know.
16:53
Speaker 5: I don't say, I just, I just I've never grew
16:58
Speaker 5: up with little babies. I was the youngest, I didn't
17:00
Speaker 5: have any cousins, I didn't have any anything like that.
17:04
Speaker 5: So I think that might be why I just don't connect. Yeah,
17:08
Speaker 5: I mean, it's not saying I'm proud of but ysked
17:10
Speaker 5: the question. That's the honest answer. And Emily will tell
17:12
Speaker 5: you the same thing too. But then then after that
17:15
Speaker 5: it's over.
17:15
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I mean today Emily can't say enough
17:18
Speaker 2: about what an amazing Oh well, thank you.
17:20
Speaker 5: But I do let me clarify thank you in the beginning.
17:23
Speaker 5: I do feel an obligation. I make sure I do
17:25
Speaker 5: everything I can, and it really does matter. I just
17:29
Speaker 5: I'm not lovey dovey and I'm not hugging and kissing yet. Yeah,
17:32
Speaker 5: it's and I know that, and it just takes a
17:34
Speaker 5: while for me to get there.
17:35
Speaker 1: That's okay. So we're hugging now, right, that's my story.
17:39
Speaker 1: We're hugging.
17:40
Speaker 2: But okay, Paully, speaking of kids, was it I think
17:46
Speaker 2: I asked you this before. Was it blending families with
17:49
Speaker 2: Dolores smooth a learning curve?
17:52
Speaker 1: Was it easy? Tell us a little bit more about that.
17:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, as I said earlier, was it it was easy?
17:59
Speaker 3: Because kids are I mean, Frankie and Gabby are like
18:02
Speaker 3: the best, right, They're just there like there's I mean,
18:06
Speaker 3: if I if I wanted to have a girl on
18:08
Speaker 3: the by, and that's what I would paint them as. Right,
18:11
Speaker 3: and your kids, yeah, yeah, just by time, just by
18:13
Speaker 3: the time, okay. But they blend and they all talk,
18:16
Speaker 3: and they all texted group text, and they all chat
18:18
Speaker 3: and they all whatever hang out together. The transition was
18:21
Speaker 3: easy because number one, my ex wife, their mam was
18:25
Speaker 3: all for it. Okay, So the transition was easy from
18:28
Speaker 3: this perspective of that, it's the Laurus Katania. She makes
18:33
Speaker 3: a conspider feel welcome in her house. Right, She's just Jesus,
18:37
Speaker 3: that's what she is. So that was also very helpful.
18:40
Speaker 3: And my kids love the Loores and they she goes
18:43
Speaker 3: above and beyond just to make everybody feel at home. Yeah,
18:46
Speaker 3: it just the love was there and like I said,
18:49
Speaker 3: even like give him a frank Katania. When he met
18:51
Speaker 3: my ex wife, he was like, you're part of the family. Now,
18:53
Speaker 3: this is what happens.
18:54
Speaker 1: Yea, this is it.
18:56
Speaker 3: What goes on on the TV and the world doesn't matter.
18:58
Speaker 3: This is what really matters. Where a family were together.
19:01
Speaker 3: I love that, and this is where we planned. So
19:03
Speaker 3: the transition was was very was very simple.
19:07
Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome.
19:08
Speaker 4: That's rare. You know, that's rare. That's great that.
19:11
Speaker 3: I was against it. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest.
19:14
Speaker 5: I was not because your family it sounds like from
19:18
Speaker 5: your ex wife like everything.
19:20
Speaker 2: Yeah.
19:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was the stoborn moment going this weird movie.
19:24
Speaker 3: You know, it's so weird, it's so weird. But when
19:26
Speaker 3: I let it just be organic, I'm like, well, it's
19:28
Speaker 3: meant to be because it's good.
19:29
Speaker 1: Yeah.
19:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird because it's not normal normally people are fighting.
19:35
Speaker 1: We're doing something different. What about you blending your kids together?
19:40
Speaker 5: Well, when and when I married, uh, my daughters were
19:46
Speaker 5: seven and two, so she came into the picture and
19:51
Speaker 5: without children obviously, so it wasn't the same kind of
19:55
Speaker 5: blending as as some families, but it was it was
19:59
Speaker 5: a little bit of a transition, and you know, they
20:00
Speaker 5: grew to love Emily, I think pretty quickly. I think
20:04
Speaker 5: little kids tend to unless they have some issues. They
20:06
Speaker 5: can really you know, they have more love than adults do, right.
20:09
Speaker 2: They do.
20:10
Speaker 4: And Emily, So I had a house.
20:14
Speaker 5: I just had like a couch of TV and a
20:15
Speaker 5: bunch of toys. Right, she comes in, she cleans it up,
20:19
Speaker 5: She makes their bathroom feel like their bathroom. She says,
20:22
Speaker 5: we need to decorate their rooms, not just have basic furniture.
20:25
Speaker 5: And then it was yes, and then it was you know,
20:29
Speaker 5: you know, on she wanted to do. She took us
20:33
Speaker 5: to do things that we didn't normally do on the weekends,
20:35
Speaker 5: which was simple things like going to the park and
20:37
Speaker 5: doing cartwheels and things like that, or something let's go
20:40
Speaker 5: to a movie, or let's do this or that, something
20:42
Speaker 5: more structured that costs a few bucks, but she would
20:44
Speaker 5: make it more like a family experience. And so and
20:48
Speaker 5: then she's given me lots of advice raising them, because
20:53
Speaker 5: she was always like, I'm not going to be that
20:54
Speaker 5: stepmother just comes in and starts dictating, and they're gonna
20:56
Speaker 5: hate me. Even though I think there can be some
20:58
Speaker 5: balance of that. She always instills the stake, gives me advice.
21:02
Speaker 5: I can bounce things off of her, she repackages it
21:06
Speaker 5: and gives it back to me and says, this is
21:07
Speaker 5: how you handle it, and so very very helpful. I
21:11
Speaker 5: don't have time for it, but I know there's very
21:13
Speaker 5: specific lessons that she's taught me that I still use
21:15
Speaker 5: today with my kids.
21:16
Speaker 4: That's awesome. Sounds like the perfect partner sometimes.
21:23
Speaker 1: Sometimes.
21:24
Speaker 2: All right, let's talk about the funniest dad moment you
21:28
Speaker 2: as a father versus the hardest dad moment. Polly, you
21:32
Speaker 2: go first, the funniest, funniest dad moment, Like fun, It's like,
21:36
Speaker 2: what's the funny? And my daughter, me and my kids,
21:39
Speaker 2: you and your kids.
21:42
Speaker 3: I mean, I used to tell my kids I was
21:43
Speaker 3: a semi celebrity. I used to break their chops all
21:48
Speaker 3: the time. They're like, I'll be like, yo, I'm a
21:50
Speaker 3: semi celebrity. They were like, yo, Dad, what are you
21:52
Speaker 3: talking about. I'm like, just trust me go with this
21:53
Speaker 3: this for years, so said, when there were small I
21:56
Speaker 3: used to shave lines in their hair and do Ronaldo
21:58
Speaker 3: hair cuts and tell them they were fit. We do
22:01
Speaker 3: all this. I remember when I was on the first
22:04
Speaker 3: time I was on The Housewives. My kids see me
22:06
Speaker 3: on TV. They're like that, you're a semi slept That
22:11
Speaker 3: was kind.
22:11
Speaker 1: Of yeah, you manifested. Yeah, I kind of manifest the
22:16
Speaker 1: hardest time as a as a dad moment, the hardest time.
22:21
Speaker 3: I mean when my kids get sick. Yeah, honestly. Yeah,
22:27
Speaker 3: my one of my my camera and got sick one time.
22:31
Speaker 3: He was like fifteen. He had some stomach issues and
22:35
Speaker 3: I could just think about what happened to when he
22:36
Speaker 3: was born. That was a that was a tough time. Yeah.
22:40
Speaker 3: Or even seeing him getting defeated in like in something
22:43
Speaker 3: that happens on a on a sport or a school
22:46
Speaker 3: or friend friends, that's like, because I want to tell them,
22:51
Speaker 3: fucking this guy's no good. You know, dad knows better,
22:55
Speaker 3: but they're so invested as friends. Yeah, they feel bad
22:59
Speaker 3: because they're not getting I asked to go somewhere. That
23:01
Speaker 3: kind of that kind of cuts me up a little bit.
23:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you kind of like I got to let
23:06
Speaker 1: him learn.
23:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you gotta let him get boring, Like
23:10
Speaker 3: you just see the pain, but you just can't thrown
23:12
Speaker 3: about it.
23:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, Shane funniest dead moment.
23:15
Speaker 4: The funniest Yeah, oh gosh.
23:18
Speaker 1: You have a funny daughter. She's she's a lot like
23:20
Speaker 1: your wife, Annabel.
23:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's a minnie Emily Funniest dead moment.
23:27
Speaker 5: Uh, that puts me on the spot.
23:31
Speaker 1: What was the other part the hardest, hardest dead moment?
23:36
Speaker 5: Hardest would be, well, you know, one, I don't know hardest.
23:40
Speaker 4: But one of the hard.
23:41
Speaker 5: Things was when my oldest got married. It wasn't the
23:45
Speaker 5: it was partially the letting go, but it and trusting
23:49
Speaker 5: this man that's now you know, she's going to go
23:51
Speaker 5: to him.
23:51
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, and she should go.
23:52
Speaker 5: To him, you know, for for certain things. But it
23:56
Speaker 5: was like, how do I transition to that? And then
23:59
Speaker 5: do I just cut off the funds immediately car insurance
24:02
Speaker 5: like and then I didn't know how to transition that.
24:06
Speaker 5: So I was very, very nervous, probably about six months
24:09
Speaker 5: in trying to figure that out and that that was difficult. Well,
24:17
Speaker 5: you know, when they were younger toddlers, we just wrestle
24:21
Speaker 5: all the time. Like literally, it sounds silly, but we
24:24
Speaker 5: all the time. And then when you know, I had
24:28
Speaker 5: three of them at that age, and we would wrestle
24:30
Speaker 5: and just it'd be it feels like hours, but it
24:32
Speaker 5: was probably just an hour, all all over the place
24:36
Speaker 5: and you know, chasing each other being monster.
24:39
Speaker 4: And stuff like that.
24:40
Speaker 5: And then it got to a point where it was
24:42
Speaker 5: getting it was getting kind of out of control, and
24:46
Speaker 5: Luke ran into a chair, busted his tooth, pushed it in,
24:51
Speaker 5: pushed his tooth in, and then now I'm getting off topic.
24:54
Speaker 5: But then I was telling Emily, I'm like, we got
24:55
Speaker 5: to pull it out. We got to pull it out,
24:57
Speaker 5: and I cannot stand the dentist say anything to do
25:00
Speaker 5: with teeth.
25:01
Speaker 4: So I'm closing my eyes, going just do Its no
25:03
Speaker 4: big deal, it's no big deal, it's no big deal.
25:04
Speaker 5: Anyway, she pulls the tooth out, and Emily is like,
25:07
Speaker 5: no more monsters, no more monster because we were getting
25:10
Speaker 5: injured all the time and stuff. So then like a
25:13
Speaker 5: week or two went by and they begged and begged
25:16
Speaker 5: and begged, and I thought, nope, nope, nope, and then
25:18
Speaker 5: finally cave did it.
25:19
Speaker 4: Keller lost a tooth.
25:21
Speaker 3: So the monster came back.
25:24
Speaker 4: So that's just something that was a little bit more recent.
25:27
Speaker 1: That's funny.
25:28
Speaker 4: So we always have that memory.
25:29
Speaker 5: They always yeah, so they always reference that you know,
25:33
Speaker 5: that's kind of an ongoing memory of theirs. That's kind
25:35
Speaker 5: of fun to tell.
25:44
Speaker 2: I have a question for you guys, is it I
25:48
Speaker 2: did a chat to roast us?
25:50
Speaker 1: Dads? Are you familiar with chet?
25:54
Speaker 3: I did one on you tonight on the airplane on
25:57
Speaker 3: the way here.
25:57
Speaker 1: I did one on all three of us.
26:00
Speaker 4: Want to hear? Are you okay?
26:01
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with mine. I think it's hilarious.
26:04
Speaker 2: Wait, what's the question you asked, Eddie Judge? Yeah, roast,
26:09
Speaker 2: Eddie Judge, roast. It's funny, it's amazing, is hilarious. So
26:14
Speaker 2: Eddie Judge the only man who went on a reality
26:18
Speaker 2: show and somehow still managed to have less screen time
26:21
Speaker 2: than Tamra's implants.
26:24
Speaker 4: That's a pretty good right there.
26:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, he left law to open a gym Cut Fitness.
26:30
Speaker 2: Bold choice for business name, considering the only thing that
26:33
Speaker 2: got cut was the check when Brabo canceled cameras.
26:36
Speaker 4: Wow, that's pretty sophisticated, right.
26:40
Speaker 2: Eddie is known for his for two things, abs and
26:43
Speaker 2: absolute silence during the Real Housewife of Orange County drama
26:47
Speaker 2: blink twice. If you ever finished a sentence on your own, Eddie.
26:51
Speaker 4: I don't know if I want you to read mine now.
26:53
Speaker 4: I thought it was gonna be like a one liner.
26:55
Speaker 2: Oh, it's hilarious. He married Tamra and thought he could
26:58
Speaker 2: avoid drama. That's like jumping into a volcano and being
27:02
Speaker 2: shocked that you got burned. Gosh, if Come Fitness had
27:07
Speaker 2: half the SMA stamina of Tamera's Instagram story, it might
27:11
Speaker 2: still be open.
27:13
Speaker 4: My gosh.
27:14
Speaker 1: Man still credit where credit is due.
27:18
Speaker 2: Eddie just might be the least douchiest husband to ever
27:21
Speaker 2: grace a Housewight franchise. He minds his business, loves his wife,
27:25
Speaker 2: and somehow manages to survive Reality TV without launching a
27:29
Speaker 2: tequila bran or some midlife crisis.
27:32
Speaker 1: Impressive, right, Wow, that's pretty cool.
27:34
Speaker 5: That was pretty entertaining, though annoying, it came from chat
27:39
Speaker 5: GBT makes it kind.
27:40
Speaker 3: Of cool to well, that's real.
27:42
Speaker 2: It's so all right, Chane, your next Okay, go ahead.
27:47
Speaker 2: Jane Simpson, the man, the myth, the human eye roll.
27:52
Speaker 2: He's basically a walking shrug with a law degree that
27:55
Speaker 2: took a few tries to get. But hey, they're times
28:00
Speaker 2: a charm right. He's not the loudest guy in the room,
28:05
Speaker 2: mostly because Emily's already doing all the talking for both
28:08
Speaker 2: of them. Honestly, the marriage works because she loves a
28:12
Speaker 2: challenge and Shane is one. While most house husbands are
28:17
Speaker 2: chasing cloud, Shane's out there chasing peace and quiet and
28:21
Speaker 2: probably wondering how he ended up married to someone who
28:25
Speaker 2: lives in full glam and full chaos.
28:28
Speaker 1: At the end of the day.
28:29
Speaker 2: Shane's dry humor might not be for everyone, but clearly
28:33
Speaker 2: it's Emily's love language, and if she's happy, we are
28:37
Speaker 2: all just politely pretending to understand why. That's pretty good,
28:43
Speaker 2: all right, Polly Polly should be thanking his lucky stars.
28:48
Speaker 2: He joined the Real houseves in New Jersey the same
28:51
Speaker 2: time as Louis. Because Louis hoarded all the red flags
28:57
Speaker 2: like it was a clearance sale.
28:59
Speaker 4: Shout out the lot.
29:01
Speaker 2: Compared to him, Paulie's fifteen year separation and procrastination proposal
29:05
Speaker 2: seems quaint guilty.
29:08
Speaker 1: Let's be Let's be real.
29:10
Speaker 2: The man met the lures at an apple store, which
29:13
Speaker 2: is fitting because he's been buffering ever since he's got
29:19
Speaker 2: electrician energy, but he can't seem to generate a spark
29:23
Speaker 2: when it comes to locking down things.
29:27
Speaker 1: Man, busting your chops here and can we talk about
29:31
Speaker 1: how he looks like.
29:32
Speaker 2: Buzz Lightyer if bus light Year traded in space mission
29:36
Speaker 2: for protein shakes and bags, adventures.
29:40
Speaker 1: To infinity, and eventually commitments.
29:42
Speaker 3: Oh yes, Wow, I like that. That's pretty good.
29:46
Speaker 2: Oh joking aside, what do you think the best part
29:49
Speaker 2: of being dad is.
29:53
Speaker 3: Just being a dad?
29:55
Speaker 1: Jane?
29:55
Speaker 4: Oh?
29:56
Speaker 5: I think it's uh you get to lift through their
29:58
Speaker 5: eyes again. Yeah, you know, holidays are more special because
30:01
Speaker 5: you live through them and see it through them.
30:04
Speaker 1: I see that here is too.
30:06
Speaker 2: Dads who taught us everything we know and half the
30:09
Speaker 2: stuff we probably shouldn't. Thank you guys so much for
30:13
Speaker 2: being on the podcast.
30:14
Speaker 1: This is awesome.
30:16
Speaker 2: And to all the fathers out there, keep being great dads.
30:20
Speaker 2: Teach your kids respect