Latest / Wesley at FSU & TSC / Healthy Relationships: True to Self | Sunday Service | November 24, 2024

Transcript

Healthy Relationships: True to Self | Sunday Service | November 24, 2024 · Wesley at FSU & TSC

• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to do a message this morning that is the last of these three that we've done on healthy relationships.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Look at your partner next to you and say, I want to have a healthy relationship.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Look to the other person and say, I want to be your friend.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And this week we're going to talk about the woman at the well, but I want to, before we get to that text, I want to talk about how I got there, so that might be helpful for you.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: In August of 2015, a musical took the world by storm named Hamilton.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is Lynn Manuel Miranda.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: He not only wrote it, but then he started it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's the second time that he's done that.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: He wrote a musical called In the Heights and then started it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then he left and then did this and then he started this.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: It was a big deal.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: It took the world by storm.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not kidding.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you tried to get a uh ticket to this, you were probably talking about two to three thousand dollars on the secondhand market.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was huge, people couldn't afford it to go, but it was it was an uh amazing.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: The original Broadway cast stayed with it for a long time, which is not always the case.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and they really, really brought it to life.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know the story of Hamilton, it's basically the story of Alexander Hamilton, who was one of our founding fathers, but it's told in hip hop and rap, and uh it's a remarkable show and kind of brilliant.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um Alexander Hamilton was he was he was a guy, he was really a really good word guy with the word, you know.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: He like he he rode his way out of poverty, he rode his way into uh influence in American government, and then he died by a gunshot.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh kind of a crazy story at an early age, just you never know what he could have done before that.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: But this musical was crazy popular.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I remember a friend of mine went through a really nasty divorce.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: She was living in a different city, and she was a huge Hamilton fan.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So she decided uh I'm gonna go see Hamilton on the original Broadway cast, especially when Lynn announced, this is Lynn, announced that he was leaving the show.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so she went onto Stubhub and spent many thousands of dollars and went and said she cried through the entire thing.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was the most amazing thing.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason I'm showing you all this is because uh in April of that year of uh 2016, uh Allison and I were leaving Disney World and we're driving back to Lakeland, which we're where we were living at the time, and we see a tweet, we used to call it Twitter, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: We see a tweet from Lynn Muel that's like, hey, new tickets dropping in like 15 minutes or something.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so we go to that website and we start refreshing because we can't afford to buy them from StubHub, we have to buy them from the actual theater, right?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so we got to see the show in December of 2016.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that awesome?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we got to see it in Richard Rogers, which is crazy.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had gotten to see in the heights in Richard Rogers, so this was a really special thing.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: All of this to show you this picture, which is Allison outside of Richard Rogers.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, portrait mode had just come in uh the iPhone, so that's what the purpose of this was.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: But we got home that night and we saw a person on the left that we recognized.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's Julianne Huff from Dancing with the Stars.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we it was so funny because we saw her like Instagram post that she was at Hamilton, and Allison's like, oh my gosh.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Alison is a huge dancing with, even today when it's only on Disney Plus, right?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, a huge dancing with the stars fan.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So she was like, oh my gosh, Julianne Huff was, she was at the show.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: She was at the show tonight.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wow, that's so so cool, right?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, wow, go.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then I start going through the photos and I see this, and I was like, you're not gonna believe it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: She was right behind you as we took this.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, these musicals, if you know anything about me, if you know me, musicals are huge.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I have vinyl on my office wall uh from different musicals I've seen.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: What was really, really cool is that when the uh pandemic came and we were all stuck inside.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Disney Plus bought the stage production of this, the recording of the stage show, for do you remember how much?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: $75 million.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then they gave it to us because we were subscribers, which was amazing.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when we went to the show in 2016, I knew every word, and I sat there and I cried through the entire show because there is no other way to respond to that show, if you know what I'm talking about.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not a theater nerd, totally fine, no worries.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but then when it came out on Disney Plus, I got to do it again and again and again and again, and we were all kind of stuck inside.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: We were we were in the uh process of moving to Tallahassee at the time, it was crazy.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and I remember there's been this discussion about whether musicals should come to the theaters.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean like the movie theaters, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you're aware of something else that happened other than the Knowles winning this week, but this week another movie released called Wicked.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: That was pretty good.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: One more time.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: One, two, three.
• 6:00
  unknown: Wicked.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Wicked.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I first saw Wicked uh in an off-Broadway production.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen it several times.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's an amazing show.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: The movie is unbelievable.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not a musical person, just just accept in your heart that you're not a musical person, totally fine.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: You will still love this movie.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm not kidding you.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it is it is unbelievable.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I I went expecting it to be one of those kind of like over-dramatized big name people in the roles, kind of like perversions of the original show.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It was not at all.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was incredible.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But as I'm watching this film, which is only the first half of the entire uh stage show, I was struck by the relationship between these two.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: On the left, in case you don't know, this is Alphabah in the green, and this is Ariana Grande.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is Ariana Grande.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Ga Linda.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Ga Linda.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh actually at this point she's Glenda, but because this is Emerald City, but but she starts as being Ga Linda, and they are friends, not at first, when they go to Shiz University in uh what city they're in, I don't even know.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Before, but outside of Oz, you know, in their own world.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Alphabet is born green, which would be an off-putting thing, even in a world where uh horses and animals can be your doctor, uh, which happens in the show.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: But she is born green, and and you see this from the very first moments that she is um everybody thrown off by even seeing her.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: There are several moments in the show where she just appears and everybody goes, uh, right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like this crazy, like, oh my gosh, what have I seen?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that would be true for us too, if we saw somebody who was that different, we would maybe respond like that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I we've been talking about healthy friendships here.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, last week we talked about vulnerability.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about being honest with each other, sharing what's on our heart and our soul with each other.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I so I had that in my mind while I'm seeing the show on Thursday.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm struck by their relationship and some of the vulnerability that happens between again.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen this show a thousand times.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I understand the plot line, but I'm struck about it because last week we talked about those walls that we hide behind.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: All of us have walls that we hide behind that stop all our vulnerability, right?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It stops us from being able to uh be able to open our hearts to a certain person.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes those walls come from different things, they come from trauma, they come from different experiences, they come from places and times when we couldn't trust the people that we could talk to.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you can think about people in your life right now who you are really close friends with that don't know everything about you, and that's probably okay in some ways, but there are probably even people who are closer to you that still don't know everything that they should know about you because you've put that behind a wall.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: That was the vulnerability we talked about last week.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about the walls that happen, particularly behind Alphaba, because at an early age she's seen as this like off-put person.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like she's over there and the rest of the world is here.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, uh there's a little bit of a narrative, I won't give too much away the plot, but there's a little bit of a narrative here where she actually is not supposed to go to the university, and she ends up going to the university unexpectedly because her father did not like her, did not care for her because of who she was.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I thought about college as I'm watching this, because I think that happens a lot here in college.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in campus ministry about 10 years or so.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: When you guys get here, you often, and all of us do it, I did it too, pretend to be somebody that you're not.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And immediately when you do that, you put yourself behind a wall.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be vulnerable with somebody when you're not being who you are.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we do that all the time.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: We convince ourselves that we are going to be a pre-med student.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because mom and dad wanted us to be a pre-med student because we saw the paychecks of what a post-med student is, right?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: We we we know that coming in, and and it turns out we weren't very good at science.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty important to do.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen many people who come through in arts programs who maybe should choose a different way.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because the gifts that they were told they had maybe weren't there.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking to anybody in this room.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding me?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: We have the best man in the world.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't talk about anybody in the room.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I see this a lot, man.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: College students come, and I think part of it is because you're in a new space and a new time, and you just want to be somebody that you're not, and so you're gonna try to start over and you start putting on a face and you start demonstrating different behavior in different groups.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I see that all the time, where you behave this way at church and you behave this way here.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: I uh one of the things about being a pastor is that I always get to see uh like the Instagram version of people's lives.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because what happens when you're a pastor, when you're sitting down one-on-one with you, is that you're not gonna tell me what's actually going on.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I sit down with a lot of you uh over the course of time, and I would love to do it with more of you through lunch or coffee or whatever, and it generally takes me 45 minutes into the second time we meet in order for that serious thing to come up, in order for me to actually have a real conversation about what's going on in your life.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: It that's just the way it is, because when we're around pastors, we act a certain way.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we're around our friends, we act a different way.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think those things, those those kind of segments, those silos that we create, create walls.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And all of them are not being true to ourselves.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I want to do this morning.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I want to use the story of the woman in the well and Jesus.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna read a majority of it, so if you are not familiar with it, don't worry.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: To talk about that very same thing because I think the most important thing for us as people trying to build healthy relationships is to be loyal not just to our friends, but to be loyal to ourselves, to be true to who we are rather than putting on a face.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Are you with me?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I want to go through this passage.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is from John 4.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna read a lot of it.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stop, uh, say thank you to Hannah, who's going to walk us through this on the slides.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty good.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and we're gonna do our best.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus had to go to through Samaria.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is uh let's just stop for a second.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus is on his way back from somewhere, and Samaria is a place where the Samaritans are.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Brilliantly named.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And Samaria, uh something you need to know, Jesus is a Jew, and Samaritans are different types of Jews, and uh the Samaritans and the Jews, they do not get along.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is important for this story.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus is a Jew, Samaritans, the area that he's about to walk through, do not get along.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and let's go to the next verse.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: He came into a Samaritan city called Sikr, which was near the land of Jacob had given to his son Joseph.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Jacob's well was there.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Jacob's well, there's nothing special about this except the fact that it's mentioned several times throughout scripture.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's Jacob's well.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: It actually happens to be in a space where both Samaritans and Jews would gather, but they would gather at different times of day because they could not talk to each other.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So Jacob's well is sitting there, and there's a well, it's it's a well where you get water.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: In case I didn't explain that, there it digs a deep hole, right?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you pull out water from it.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus was tired from his journey, so he sat down at the well, and it was about noon.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: That'll be important in a second.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: A Samaritan woman came to the well to draw water.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why else would you go to the well?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus said to her, Give me some water to drink.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Couple things here.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Tradition would have been that women would go to the well to get water for the day, as they still do in many parts of our world.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: they would not go at noon.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's hot.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no air conditioning, nothing like that.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're not driving your car, you're walking, you're carrying big buckets of water, not something you want to do in the heat of the day.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: They would not go the day, they would go early in the morning, and it was kind of a gathering place.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever heard about gathering around the waterhole?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's that kind of idea.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was a social experience where you would go and you would get water from the well, and then you would pick it up and you would carry it to wherever you needed to go, but not at noon.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So it is strange that a woman would come to the well at noon.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Even more so, she is what type of woman?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: A Samaritan woman who doesn't get along with the Jewish people.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus, remember, a Jew.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: His disciples had gone into the city to buy some food.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: The Samaritan woman asked, Why do you, a Jewish man, ask for something to drink from me, a Samaritan woman?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see that she sees the wall?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: She sees the wall in between them.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Jews and Samaritans didn't associate with each other, which you wouldn't have known had I not told you.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, hey, here we go.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 10.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus responded, If you recognize God's gift and who is saying to you, give me some water to drink, you would be asking him, and he would give you living water.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: The woman said to him, Sir, you don't have a bucket and the well is deep.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Where would you get this living water?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: You aren't greater than our father Jacob, are you?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, they're at Jacob's well.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: He gave this well to us and he drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus answered, Everyone who drinks this well will be thirsty again.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: But whoever drinks from the water will I will give will never be thirsty again.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: The water I will give will, sorry, the water that I give will become in those who drink it, a spring of water that bubbles up to eternal life.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now I want to stop for just a second and we're gonna keep going.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus is starting to have what will become a deeper conversation with her, but she's the one that saw the wall.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: But whoever drinks from the wall, the water that I will give will never be thirsty again.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: The water that I give will become in those who drink it, a spring of water that bubbles up into eternal life.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: The woman said to him, Sir, give me this water so that I will never become thirsty and I will never need to come here to draw water.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: She is desperate.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Next verse.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus said to her, Go get your husband and come back here.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now at this moment, there's about to be a shift in the conversation.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because at this point they've been talking about water.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe metaphorically, but they've been talking about water.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, Okay, if you want the water, then go get your husband and come back here.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Watch the shift that happens.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: The woman replied, I don't have a husband.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: He says, You were right to say I don't have a husband, Jesus answered.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: You've had five husbands.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the man you are now with isn't your husband.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: You've spoken the truth.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think in a moment there's a go back to 18, that's okay.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: You've spoken the truth.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's an honest conversation here that I don't think she wanted to have.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, people have interpreted the woman at the well in different ways in the past.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: People have called her a prostitute, people have called her a woman of many husbands.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know the backstory.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, she's so insignificant here that we don't even know her name.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: She's only called a Samaritan woman to us.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: We know that she's there at noon, which would have been impractical.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: It would have been uh making no sense.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Could she be there because Jesus just needs some water?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Would she be there at noon because she was trying to avoid the social experience of the morning?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Most likely.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: She was there because she knew nobody would be there at noon.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so that'd be a good time for her to go and get some water.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And he says to her, I don't have uh, you are right, you don't have a husband.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: You've had five husbands, and the man you are with now isn't your husband.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: You've spoken the truth.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I think is happening.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus sees the walls in between the Samaritans and the Jews, and he's about to draw a bridge between the divide.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: But he cannot do that unless she can openly and honestly talk about her life.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: The point of vulnerability, like we were talking last week.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: The point of vulnerability is that you draw a bridge between you and the other person.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you're holding stuff back, you will never ever be able to have an honest conversation with that person.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: It won't happen.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's always gonna be something behind it.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the first things you might learn in counseling, mental health counseling, or even relationship or marital counseling, is that you have to lay it all on the table.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have to lay it all on the table in this covenanted relationship because otherwise, there's never going to be the bridge.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: So he needs to get that, get to get her to say that, to realize that, to talk about that in her life.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want you to see this as shaming her or anything like that.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't read this at all.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you why in a second.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't read it like that at all.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I do think it's important.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: You see that he's starting to draw the bridge, and the first thing he needs is he needs to get the vulnerability out of her.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Go get your husband.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have a husband.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're right, you don't have a husband.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you had five before, and the one that you have now, not your husband.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Then the woman says, Sir, I see that you're a prophet.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sir, I see that you are a prophet.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, you're right, buddy.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: That thing that she what she didn't want to talk about, she didn't want to put out in the open, whatever that is, or however her experience is, she says, Hey, I see this about you.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she goes, Ah, you're right.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: I told you last week about the friend of mine who told me I wasn't being vulnerable with him over the phone.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: He said, There's something else you're not mentioning, you're not talking about, and I can just tell.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it was that moment where I was like, ha, sir, I see that you're a prophet, right?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, yeah, you're right.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you and your people say that it's necessary to worship in Jerusalem.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this is important.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I don't think this is him shaming her over her uh romantic situations or sexual relations or whatever.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that's what's happening here.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason is it's because they go into this treatise and this conversation about worship, which was the main division between the Samaritans and the Jews.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: She says, our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you and your people say that it's necessary to worship in Jerusalem.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus said to her, Believe me, woman.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't read it like that.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, woman.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: The time is coming when you and your people will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, he's saying, Do you see the bridge he's about to build?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he's saying, uh, you and your people worship.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, come back, go back, come back, go back, come back, go back.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: 21, yes.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, woman, though, the time is coming when you and your people will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, the two things that are dividing us right now, they ain't gonna divide us for much longer.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, could we hear that as Americans today?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you and your people will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: You and your people worship what you don't know.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: We worship what we know because salvation is from the Jews.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So he is drawing her to the right thing.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Going.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: But the time is coming and is here when true worshipers will worship in spirit and truth.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: I often say that in my prayers.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: We worship you in spirit and truth.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's where it came from.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: The Father looks for those who worship him in this way.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: God is spirit, and it is necessary to worship God in spirit and in truth.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the woman said, I know that the Messiah is coming, the one who is called to Christ.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: When he comes, he will teach everything to us.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus said to her, I am the one who speaks with you.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to see the way that this is grammatically found here.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus said to her, I am.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't say, I am the one, I am that one, I'm the one you're talking about.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't say that.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: He says, I am.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: The very name that God called himself on the mountain when Moses was being called.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Who am I supposed to tell them, send me?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I am.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Just tell them, I am, sent you.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And she's kind of saying, Well, they're saying this guy's coming, he's coming, he's coming.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus says, I am the one who speaks with you.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: The woman had been hiding behind this wall.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: She'd been hiding behind the wall of who she was.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: She had been hiding behind the wall of being a Samaritan, both of which draw divides.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Both of which don't build confidential and healthy relationships, they build division.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: She had not verbalized that out loud.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, she was so worried about what might be thought about her, she came to the well at noon, not in the morning, because of what somebody is going to say to her.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then God physically shows up.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: They have a conversation about water.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Ha ha ha, this water, this water is not really what you want.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: What you want is living water.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, No, no, no, that one's coming.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Well, if you want that, go find your husband.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Seems a little out of pocket.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then he said, she said, Well, I have a husband.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, You're right.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: You've had a bunch.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: And even the one you don't have now is yours.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: So now that we've cleared the air about what's going on actually here, let me tell you about the division that's happened between our people, and let me draw a bridge between them.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of pastors will preach this, and they'll use this as a way to say, hey, confront your sin.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus confronted the sin.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say it like that.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's a couple reasons why.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, this is a story, and Jesus does this many times.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: He confronts many people who have been in kind of questionable situations, even in John's gospel.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: And uh he says to them, Go and sin no more.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: He never says that to this woman.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't say it to her.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: He's focused on her recognizing and choosing to deliver who she is and then trying to draw the bridge.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's what he's focused on.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's number one.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing, I uh and the reason I don't preach it this way is because uh I think if if the purpose of that would have been like, hey, listen, Jesus confronted the sins, time for you to confront your sin, turn or burn.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: If that's the way that you preach it, I feel like it's pretty unhelpful.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think you know your sin.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: The vulnerability is not because you just don't know what to say, it's because you're actively hiding it up.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: You're behind the wall.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't think that's what he's talking about here.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: He's trying to draw the bridge.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I think this says something to us if we read it that way.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you're able to name that thing out loud that declares who you are, then you start to find a lot of purpose in your relationships.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: I started this series by talking about proximity versus purpose.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: When you come to college, a lot of times you become friends with the people who are just around you.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: We call that proximity friendship, and it's great as a starting point.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: But unless those relationships take a next step into purpose-driven relationships, then you're only just gonna be friends because you're near each other, which what means is next year when you room in different apartments or different complexes or different dorms or whatever, the true friendship's not there.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's gone.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: I see it every year.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll be devastated.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I was so such good friends with that person.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: And now they don't even talk to me.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, that's because that relationship was based in proximity and not in purpose.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: In order to get to purpose, you need to be vulnerable with one another.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: In order to get to purpose, you've got to step out from behind the wall.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be honest about who you are.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you build a healthy relationship with another person that has purpose.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: I would say also, you need a place to be able to name that truth.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: I told you at the end of last week's sermon that there are only certain places you should really try to be vulnerable.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a blanket statement on every single relationship in the world.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know the relationships that are not safe for you, the things where you cannot just lay down whatever's on your heart because it's going to be met with vitriol, it's going to be met with competition, it's going to be met with all of those other things.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think you need a place to be able to get out behind your wall and live into your true self.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do you notice that he has this whole conversation about the husbands with her?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then he doesn't say, Well, you're going to hell.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do you notice that he meets it?
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: He meets it with truth.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't, he doesn't sway on the details here, but he meets it with grace.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Man, if that's not a demonstration of what God does for us, confront your sin, sure.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Confront who you are, sure.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: God meets you with grace when you step out behind that wall.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: You need a space for that.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want to keep going here.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 27.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just then Jesus' disciples arrived and were shocked that he was talking with a woman.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Tells you kind of the situation there.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: But no one asked, what do you want?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: or why are you talking with her?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Again, a lack of condemnation.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: The woman put her down, put down her water jar and went into the city.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting, because she came there with a water jar to take water back to the city.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: She puts it down and takes it back.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Pay attention.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: She has the living water.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just think it's cool.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: She said to the people, Come and see a man who has told me everything I've done.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Could this man be the Christ?
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: She says this to Samaritans.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: Important.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: She said this to Samaritans, come and see the man who has told me everything I've done.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Could this man be the Christ?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: They left the city and were on their way to see Jesus.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Many Samaritans in that city believed in Jesus because of the woman's word.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hear that again.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Many Samaritans in that city believed in Jesus because of the woman's word when she testified.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: So when the Samaritans came to Jesus, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Many more believed because of his word.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Many more believed because of his word.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: We've done that for 45 minutes now.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: What I want you to do is I want to be with you about this, which is that you are a person who people need to be vulnerable with.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: You have a dual role to play.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: We are often scared to declare our truths to the world because of those fears and those walls.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: So your role as a friend to another person is to provide that safety blanket, that recognition of grace and truth, that recognition that, man, they need to say something right now, and I'm just going to be here for them.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: No condemnation, no judgment.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that they can say something to you that they would not have said to anybody else.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that they can declare something about themselves to find purpose in it.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to spoil the end of the wicked movie.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a moment where Madame Morable, who is the um the headmaster of Shiz, she recognizes the gifts that Alphabet has.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And she's the first person, she's the first person to see the purpose and who she is.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's the kind of person I think we've got to be.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: If somebody's going to be vulnerable with us, if they're going to provide their inner truth to us, if they're going to be able to share what's on their heart, we have to meet it in the spirit of gentleness and grace.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: You have to.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not an option.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's not an option.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is not Jesus saying, like, it'd be nice if you did it.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is Jesus demonstrating here's where you can find purpose.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to be joined Samaritans and Jews together.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to worship not on the mountain and not in Jerusalem.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to worship an entirely different place.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to build the bridge between our two people if we can be honest with each other about who we are.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you see who you are and your need for the living water, if you see that and I can share that, not in condemnation, but in grace.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Man, that is for me the purpose of campus ministry.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because you all come from different walks of life, you come from different places in your life, you come from different spiritual places.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you spend your entire college career trying to be this person or that person or this person or that person, there are 700, that's not a joke, 700 different campus organizations you can join across the street, and that doesn't even include TSC.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot of words, that's a lot of identities, that's a lot of people you could be.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the goal of campus ministry, the goal of focusing and centering ourselves around Jesus, is to provide a bridge for people who need that bridge.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: To be vulnerable in a way that we've never been before, to share truly what's on our hearts without condemnation or judgment, to meet it with grace.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: I encourage you to do that with one another, and I encourage you to be that space for somebody else.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: Too often it's about what's coming next, or that next goal I can get to, or that next thing.