Latest / Voices for Voices® / From Overdose to Purpose: Choosing Faith, Cutting Toxic Ties & Building Voices for Voices | Ep. 331

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From Overdose to Purpose: Choosing Faith, Cutting Toxic Ties & Building Voices for Voices | Ep. 331 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Hey everyone, Justin here again with another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:10
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's uh it's a privilege uh to uh be coming to you, whether you're watching and listening, whether you're near, whether you're far.
• 0:20
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Uh we have nothing but love and support for everyone out there.
• 0:27
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Uh, no matter what uh you may be going through.
• 0:34
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Uh you are not alone.
• 0:36
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm not alone.
• 0:38
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: None of us are alone in this journey that we call life.
• 0:46
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Wanted to touch on a an area that I think is worth talking about, and that is uh toxicity uh back uh back in the good old days when I was growing up and I was in college, uh, there was a song that uh that came out from a band called System of a Down, and the song uh was titled Toxicity, and I think what better way to uh kind of uh take us from point A to point B with toxicity of the body, where if we take illegal drugs or even a large amount of over-the-counter drugs, um cold and cough medicine, etc., that too much, or in the case of fentanyl, just a couple of gold grains can be enough to kill us, and that is uh deeply, deeply concerning to me, and it should be to you too.
• 2:42
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Now we how we treat our bodies, how we treat ourselves is a big reflection on who we are as individuals and people, and so if our body is filled with toxic things, as I mentioned toxic, toxic drugs, toxic over the per over the counter drugs, uh you name it, those are those are the uh the areas that I I wanted to share because way back when I did, I had taken 32 cold and cough pills, and I wanted to uh well, number one, I wanted to take more than my friends at the time.
• 4:08
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So first it was a competition, like, oh, you're taking this amount.
• 4:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Well, I'm gonna one up you, and I do not recommend anybody do that.
• 4:21
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That was a terrible decision I made.
• 4:24
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Landing me in a hospital, stomach pump would have passed away if I was not taken to an emergency room, and so I had a high level of toxicity in my body that my organs was not used to, anybody's organs wasn't used to, and so I you know had that supposed competitive spirit, and then the second part was oh, I want to feel that high sensation that I that high feeling.
• 5:10
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Uh I'm not 21, so I can't legally purchase alcohol, so you know, we looked at different ways.
• 5:21
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm bringing this up because I don't want anybody else to go through this, I don't want anybody else to feel that insecurity, to feel alone, to feel like nobody gets you.
• 5:36
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'll tell you what.
• 5:39
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Number one, you get yourself, I get myself.
• 5:44
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I understand no matter good, bad, and different.
• 5:50
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: We're experts on ourselves, so that's thing one.
• 5:55
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Thing two is that higher power for me.
• 6:00
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's God, Jesus Christ.
• 6:01
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's my higher power.
• 6:04
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's the other, that's the other person that gets me.
• 6:09
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And my mom gets me, and my daughter gets me.
• 6:18
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: There comes a time when you really find out I'll say who your friends are.
• 6:34
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's that's a little way of thinking of it.
• 6:38
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Who's with you?
• 6:41
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Who really wants to help, and who really wants to step in and try to help in a non uh non-threatening manner, like showing up to my house unannounced, and then all of a sudden saying, Oh, we love you, we love you, we love you, but we need you to go do this thing right here.
• 7:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's not love, that's ulterior motives.
• 7:23
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's that's what that is, and it's really unfortunate to have to say that, you know, because these are people who I thought did love me, that did get me, that did get what Voices for Voices is and what we are doing, and the impact that we are making across the world, as well as here locally and nationally.
• 7:58
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And so sometimes it takes an event, a meeting, to really have things click and say, Oh, oh, okay.
• 8:19
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: You want to help, huh?
• 8:23
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But I'm the one with the problem.
• 8:26
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm the problem, it's me.
• 8:33
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm the problem.
• 8:37
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Others may feel they don't need that introspection themselves.
• 8:47
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But sure thing, when it comes to passing judgment on another, some people are no problem doing that.
• 9:10
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Nobody's ever come to their house unannounced like that.
• 9:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: No person has called to talk, to just have a conversation.
• 9:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Or text.
• 9:36
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's the silent treatment, it's the ghosting, and then we do things on their time, not our time.
• 9:51
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So, what this is about is it's our time.
• 9:56
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: For me, it's God's time, it's God's will to be done, not mine.
• 10:02
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Not somebody who claims they love me, but they don't.
• 10:08
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Because if they did, they would have conversation close to on a daily basis, and this includes people as close to me as can be close, that it's my I'm the problem with the other individual or individuals, it's not their problem, it's this thing they're gonna come talk about, and then they're gonna go driving their car, SUV, truck, and they're gonna head back home, they're gonna go ahead and with life.
• 11:06
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Well, that's not the case for all of us, so we really have to dig deep, and I mean really dig deep because a lot of these are really life and death decisions, because a person that does not have uh you know a psych team as a backstop to help and understand and guide for 36, 37 years of my life.
• 11:55
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I didn't have that, and it's by no fault of my parents at all, it's not.
• 12:01
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I know my mom feels that way, but it's not that it's just not because I like to share this time that if it wasn't for those times and those things and those events that I went through, it would not make me the person I am today.
• 12:29
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It wouldn't make voices for voices what it is today, if that were truly the case, but it's not the case, and so somehow, some way, I survived a lot, a lot of different events, and it's because of God, whether I was I'll say whether I was hip to God or I wasn't, he was hip to me all the time.
• 13:07
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And so we talk about praying, we talk about all these things.
• 13:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Do what you need to do, don't do what I need to do or what I'm talking about.
• 13:22
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm sharing my experience so you can feel more comfortable sharing yours.
• 13:26
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And even if that's just in a notebook that nobody sees and a diary that's locked and put away that nobody sees except you, that's sharing because you know what?
• 13:38
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It takes thoughts out of that mind of ours and it puts it on the paper, puts it somewhere else.
• 13:44
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So we all go through difficult times, difficult events, difficult experiences, and sometimes there's that toxicity there.
• 14:12
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Sometimes we do it to ourselves, and sometimes others do it to us and hurt us.
• 14:21
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: They may not think they're hurting us, they might not think they're holier than thou, except that's exactly what their actions show.
• 14:37
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: There's a lot I can't get into um for legal reasons and organizationally.
• 14:57
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And those are two those are two other elements that I could just I could just give up.
• 15:09
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I could just say, you know what, peace out.
• 15:19
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm good, I'm done.
• 15:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But no.
• 15:29
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: No.
• 15:34
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: No.
• 15:40
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I've come too far, you've come too far, we've all come too far to give up.
• 15:48
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And on those days, in those moments, in those seconds and minutes and hours, and months and years, easy thing to do is to give up.
• 16:07
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Like, all right, it's not worth it, and that right there, that's why voices for voices is what it is today, is what it was, and it is what it will be.
• 16:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Because I'm not giving up.
• 16:34
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: You shouldn't give up.
• 16:36
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: See, we surround our people, we surround our people, we surround ourselves what with who and what we hope to be positive, reaffirming, uh, validating, supporting.
• 17:00
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm not just talking about monetarily, I'm just saying general, like, wow, three hundred and thirty episodes.
• 17:09
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's crazy.
• 17:11
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: How'd you make it that far?
• 17:13
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I don't need a prize, I don't need an award for any of this, but that's what somebody would say, instead of oh, we gotta do this thing.
• 17:33
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Yeah, you can't do this, you gotta get checked out, even though you already get checked out, whatever that means, and so it's my plea in this episode to not give up, to never give up, stay the course.
• 17:59
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: There's gonna be bumps, there's gonna be turns, there's gonna be sharp curves, there's gonna be changes in elevation, up and then down, and then left and right, and there's gonna be circles, and then there's gonna be more circles, and we're gonna get confused on where we're at.
• 18:15
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But as long as we never lose sight of that higher power, God, He will not abandon us, He will not say negative things, do negative things, negative actions, negative things that are hurtful.
• 18:50
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: He's not gonna say I love you, but then not mean it.
• 18:56
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And love's a two-way street, see that's why I think sometimes gets lost in translation is whoop, you didn't do this, or I didn't do this, and it's all because of me, or it's all because of you.
• 19:22
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's a two-way street.
• 19:27
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So if you're gonna come at me and say that, what have you done yourself to help that situation?
• 19:37
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Especially if you've had that belief for quite some time.
• 19:42
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: See, we don't live in a dictatorship here in the United States.
• 19:51
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Everybody's entitled to their political views, their views on any anything and everything.
• 20:00
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But it's time for you, it's time for me, it's time for all of us.
• 20:12
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That toxicity.
• 20:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Let's just value ourselves some and then let's work our way up.
• 20:33
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That helps get that toxicity out of our system.
• 20:41
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Opens up room for true love, true care.
• 20:48
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And then next we start looking at our our our uh our circle of friends, loved ones, valued, confidence, or whatever we want to call them.
• 21:20
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And we say, Is this person toxic?
• 21:32
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Meaning, do we get the same feeling we get when we do toxic things to ourselves?
• 21:41
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: There are these allergies.
• 21:45
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Here they come.
• 21:47
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So apologies on that.
• 21:50
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So if it makes us feel like it's toxic, it probably is toxic, and we don't need to blame ourselves for that.
• 22:05
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: We don't need to blame ourselves.
• 22:10
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I've fallen in that trout a lot.
• 22:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm saying, oh Justin, it's your fault that there's toxic people in your orbit.
• 22:25
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's because of you that there's toxic people in your orbit.
• 22:32
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Remember, we don't we don't get to choose.
• 22:40
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: This isn't our light, this is God's light, this is Jesus' life, it's his will to be done, not ours.
• 22:46
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So where we can this this eye of mine.
• 22:58
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Oh where we can, where we can identify we remove that, remove the those individuals because it's hurtful as it is not to have someone like that in our life, or to give the same uh communication, the same go to you know some of the same things, events as others, it can be more hurtful than if we just focus on ourselves.
• 23:53
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm not even talking about that narcissistic thing where that's out there where every single thing we do is all about ourselves and nobody else.
• 24:04
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I've been one of the on the forefront of helping people and using my own hard-earned money and retirement in the tens of thousands to help people and to keep this organization afloat.
• 24:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So nobody's gonna sit there and tell me that oh, it's all about you, Justin.
• 24:36
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's all about you.
• 24:38
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: We've helped a heck of a lot of people just this far, and we got a lot more work to do, and I believe in myself, and I believe in voices for voices so much that that's where we're at.
• 25:05
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So the haters and the naysayers, they're gonna come, they're gonna go, they're gonna say hurtful things, they're gonna be keyboard warriors, uh pretend they're friends, pretend, I don't know, they're just gonna pretend.
• 25:29
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: They may not see it as pretending, but when you've been hurt both by myself, I've hurt myself over the years with some of the things I've done.
• 25:48
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Abusing alcohol, we talked about the overdose and cooling cough pills, then when others do it, and it you know, kind of is that wolf in sheep's clothing, like they're disguised as a part of the family, but yeah, don't acknowledge me on not even a daily basis, weekly, sometimes monthly, and and I'm I'm I'm the problem.
• 26:39
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Um, I don't think so.
• 26:43
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I've no problem stepping up and saying, yeah, I work on this.
• 26:50
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I did, I have, I am work on boundaries, work on other things that we talk about, but nobody else has to work on anything.
• 27:02
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's only Justin.
• 27:04
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Only Justin has to work on things.
• 27:06
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Why is that?
• 27:08
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Well, why why why is Justin the only one that has to work on things and try to put you know boundaries and different things into place and um pull back on certain things a little bit?
• 27:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Why why is it all why is it only Justin?
• 27:32
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It shouldn't be, just like it shouldn't always be you.
• 27:37
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: It's because of God that we're here, that we were born, that we've made it this far.
• 27:55
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And so whenever I hear Cold play by that song Higher Power, it's so true.
• 28:05
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: There's gotta be.
• 28:08
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Like I don't know as an individual how how to make my heart beat.
• 28:14
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: My heart just beats or how to breathe.
• 28:24
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And so you're not the problem.
• 28:39
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: The problem most likely is with another other's jealousy, envy.
• 28:51
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I I I don't know exactly what, why, when, how, it I I just recognize it when I see it.
• 29:08
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And when I hear it, and when I feel it.
• 29:15
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Really looking forward to for the organization.
• 29:30
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And you'll be seen over the course of the next next period of time things will be unveiled one by one.
• 29:55
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And I guarantee.
• 29:59
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Guarantee you the haters are gonna come back.
• 30:02
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I guarantee it.
• 30:03
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: The oh well you didn't listen to us, you didn't listen to me, so I'm gonna delete you off Facebook as as a friend.
• 30:18
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: This is you know, supposedly you're a good family member.
• 30:24
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Okay.
• 30:26
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: That's cool.
• 30:30
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Again, you do your thing, I'll do mine.
• 30:34
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Just like you, do your thing.
• 30:39
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Don't let people stand in the way and be time stealers and be toxic.
• 30:52
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Where they others share things and then we start questioning like, wow, maybe I am doing the wrong thing, maybe I shouldn't be doing this, maybe I should try something different, maybe I should just fall in line with the rank and file, and you know, do the nine to five or eight to five or whatever, whatever that may be.
• 31:16
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Some of us are built for that and like that.
• 31:21
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm not, but we're we're not at voices for voices.
• 31:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So work to take that toxicity off of your heart, it'll free you so much, it'll take weights off your shoulders you never knew were there.
• 31:45
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: And when you feel toxicity and negativity and negative energy coming your way, don't be afraid to walk away.
• 31:57
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Can be the hardest thing, one of the hardest things we ever do.
• 32:05
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: None of us wants to, none of us wakes up in the morning and says, Oh, well, I'm gonna do this.
• 32:13
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But there comes a point when again, you can either come with me, come with us, or not.
• 32:28
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So if and when this thing we've built on a solid foundation, and this seed we planted in the ground a year or two ago begins to start to grow and blossom.
• 32:54
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: We got kind of two songs, one from Imagine Dragons talking about you know, I'm scheming for the future.
• 33:12
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I'm on stage and you're in the nosebleed, and so the people in the nosebleed are the people that probably told Dan Reynolds, Imagine Dragons that you can't do that, you can't be a rock star, you can't travel the world, sing your music, have audiences all over the world, sing together, clap together, laugh together, cry together, and the last one's an old school Nelly's song talking about somebody asking him for tickets for the next show that he's at.
• 34:10
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: I said, Can we get tickets to the next show?
• 34:15
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Are you kidding?
• 34:18
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Blank no.
• 34:20
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So God holds all the cards.
• 34:27
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: We very rarely see any any of those cards, and I pray for my enemies, I pray for the people that don't agree, don't like me, don't like what Voices for Voices is doing.
• 34:45
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Because we're all human beings, so I have that compassion.
• 34:50
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: But I also never forget, and neither should you.
• 34:58
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: So until next time, this is Justin Alan Hayes signing off from Voices for Voices.
• 35:07
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Please be a voice for you or somebody in need.
• 35:12
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: We'll see you next time, everybody.
• 35:14
  VoicesforVoicesJustinAlanHayes: Have a good day.