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ReFleXion Power Day Special Edition · The No Cry Zone

• 0:42
  SPEAKER_04: I can see the best forward to my future reflection.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Jim Best.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I write Upwards Best and I host a no cry zone.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Along with Momentum GPS, we focus on positive change that is doable and durable.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's be candid, shall we?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Most people don't decide who they are.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: They listen to what others say about them, or they wait to see how they personally feel.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: That day, that week, that month.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: You get it.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And those approaches may sound harmless, but they're not.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not if you truly intend to live your life authentically and honor your dreams, desires, and aspirations.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's important that you do that.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're willing to wait to feel a certain way before you act, before you show up, before you express yourself, then your life is being run by conditions.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not by choice, not by design, but by conditions.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that leads us to a distinction that once you'll see it, you can't unsee it.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's the difference between I'm happy when things go well and I'm a happy person.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now at first, those sound similar, almost interchangeable, but they're not, of course.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: They are fundamentally different operating systems.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start with something familiar.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: For years we've heard the phrase be comfortable in your own skin and it's a good phrase.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: It helped people move away from insecurity, from comparison, from trying to be someone else, from trying to be something they weren't.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: It gave permission to relax, to accept, to settle into oneself.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the issue it implies a rival, doesn't it?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: It suggests that once you reach comfort, you're done.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: You've made peace with who you are, and now you can stay there.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But today the language is shifting.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now we hear be your authentic self, own who you are, live aligned, step into your identity.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that shift in language reflects a deeper shift in thinking, a deeper shift in mindset.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: We've moved from acceptance to what I call authorship.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: From be okay with yourself to decide who you are.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where this conversation gets powerful.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because most people are still living in what I would call conditional identity.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy when things go well, I'm confident when I succeed, I'm motivated when I feel like it.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not identity.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's dependency.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's saying my state is determined by my circumstances.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: My state is determined by what happens to me.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now contrast that with identity-based living.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I am a happy person.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I am encouraging.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am uplifting.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I am a net positive presence in the life of others.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're talking not about feelings, but we're talking about standards.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about self-owned characteristics.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about how you show up, regardless of conditions.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about you.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is where most people get tripped up.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: They think identity is something you discover.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: But more often, identity is something you've drifted into.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's been shaped by past experiences, memories, social expectations, repeated behaviors, habits, and what you've quietly normalized about yourself.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't sit down and decide I will only be happy when things go right, but somewhere along the way that became your pattern.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And once it becomes your pattern, it starts to feel like your personality.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not really your personality.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's just your conditioning.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So now we have to ask a better question.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: We want to ask a better question.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're not asking, Am I comfortable in my own skin?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But we're asking, is this the skin I would choose today?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want to feel comfortable being?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's a different level of honesty.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because now you're not just accepting yourself, you're evaluating yourself.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where Reflection Power Day comes in.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Reflection Power Day is not about fixing what's broken.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Reflection power day is a part, a pillar in our personal development cycle.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: The cycle consists of Reflect, which is March thirty first, unreluctance day, June thirtieth, maximum momentum day, September thirtieth, maximum momentum month, October, New Year's Evolution, December twenty-ninth, and celebration day, January first.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now you'll notice those dates are spaced about three months apart, with the exception being Celebration Day.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're spaced that way because that's the way personal development really takes hold and gets traction for you.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maximum Momentum month is thirty days to put your maximum momentum into effective action.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's important to keep those days in mind as we go forward.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Power Reflection Day is about examining what you have accepted without questioning it.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's about stepping out of autopilot and asking, what have I normalized about myself?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Where have I become conditional in the way that I think about myself and the moods I choose and the mindsets I believe I own.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I waiting instead of deciding?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth you don't drift into a powerful identity, nobody does.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't just happen.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: You reflect into it and decide what are the traits and characteristics I'm going to exemplify, I'm going to model as I go out into the world and interact with other people.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And how do I represent that to myself and how do I talk to myself about it?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And once you see the gap between I'll be happy when and I am a happy person, you have a choice to make.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can continue living reactively, or you can begin shaping your identity intentionally.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I call intentional evolution.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's not random growth, it's not accidental improvement, but deliberate, directed change in how you see yourself and how you show up.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's where we move from insight to application.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because awareness alone doesn't change anything.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can recognize the pattern, you can agree with the idea, and still go right back to living conditionally.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you actually make that positive change that is doable and durable?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: There are three steps.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go over them.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Step one, awareness through reflection.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, notice reflection is spelled R E capital F, capital L, capital E, capital X, I O N, Reflection, because you are flexing into a more powerful self-image.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness through reflection.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: You identify the pattern, you notice, you say, I'm only happy when things go well.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or you might say, I'm only confident when I have proof.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or you might say, I'm only encouraging when I feel good.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: You identify your patterns of thought.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: You bring it into the light.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because what's unexamined stays unchained.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: When you identify it, you can change it.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Step two, identity selection.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is where most people hesitate because now you're choosing, you're making a decision, you're saying, I am encouraging, I am supportive, I am an uplifting person, I am a net positive, I am a happy person.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And immediately your mind might push back.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's not always true.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the problem.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: You're not describing your past here, you're defining your direction.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Step three is vivid mental rehearsal.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is the bridge.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't become this person by waiting for life to cooperate.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: You become this person by practicing before it's required.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You mentally rehearse and you feel the emotions.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: How do I respond when things go wrong?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: How do I respond as a happy person, as an effective person, as a socially aware person, as an emotionally mature person?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: How do I speak as an encouraging person?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: How do I uplift people?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: How do I carry myself as someone who is net positive?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Is someone who makes a difference and has a positive impact on others.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: You see it, you feel it, you run the scenario in advance, because when the moment comes, you don't rise to the occasion, you fall back to your preparation.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is identity shaping, and this is exactly what people do to become the type of authentic life they choose to live.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not affirmations that feel like a stretch, not pretending, not faking till we make it, rehearsing a version of yourself until it becomes familiar, until it becomes accessible, until it becomes natural.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And now we come full circle because being comfortable in your own skin is not wrong, it's just incomplete.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's a foundation, but it's not the destination because comfort can coexist with limitations.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Comfort can coexist with outdated self-images.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Comfort can quietly keep you in place.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we don't focus on comfort as an outcome.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Reflection power day is about stepping beyond comfort.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Reflection power day is about bringing more things into your comfortable zone.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's about asking, who am I being by default?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Who do I want to be by design?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what needs to change in how I see myself to make that real?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the shift.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where you can make this happen for yourself.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Stop asking, when will I feel better?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: When will my life improve?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Start asking, who am I choosing to be before life tests me?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: How do I want to live my life?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because the most powerful version of you is not the one you've learned to accept, is not the one that people have told you to adapt.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's the one you have decided to become.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that decision starts with reflection, but it doesn't end there.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes identity.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And identity becomes how you live.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the power of Reflection Power Day.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jim Best, wishing you the best as you flex into a more powerful version of yourself, as you take control of your life, and you truly pursue and attain every dream, desire, and aspiration you sign up for.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_05: As I look into the mirror, what do I see?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_05: A shadow from the past or reflection of me.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_05: I learned who I was before I knew I could choose.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_05: Old voices and echoes I still tend to use.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: Patterns of follow that I didn't quite see, but no longer from the past reflection.