Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep 45 - Forgiveness is the Way Forward Towards Happiness.

Transcript

Ep 45 - Forgiveness is the Way Forward Towards Happiness. · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I am Comedy Wood, and I am thrilled that you've taken a few moments of your day to spend with me.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: As I mentioned previously, uh the last few episodes have really been uh focused on this concept of cultivating happiness.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: This became a real topic uh that seemed to be popping up routinely in different client sessions, as well as people reaching out, inquiring about coaching with me.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And this the common theme has been, you know, I just feel stuck and I feel like I'm just not happy and I really just want to be happy.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: And happiness was what seemed to be uh really tied to external forces.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um I've heard several people say, well, I'll be happy when I can I can find that partner, I'll be happy when I um achieve a certain level at work, or I'll be happy when my business takes off, I'll be happy when my finances are at XYZ.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: When we catch ourselves saying, I'll be happy when, that's an indication that we're looking outside of ourselves.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth of the matter is, is we are in charge of defining success, happiness, and joy for ourselves.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we can self-source, when we can define happiness from an inside out perspective, and it's intrinsic rather than extrinsic, we're no longer dependent upon external forces.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: So we can anchor into our happy place no matter what's happening outside of ourselves.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was recently talking to a group of teens about just the concept of self-esteem.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that we ended up talking about was our core worth.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: And the the way that we were discussing it was we really want to see our core worth for ourselves.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: We want to self-source that.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So no matter what's happening external to us, because the world is going through its own issues, they're there external forces constantly, no matter what that up and down looks like outside of ourselves, that core worth, if we really hone into it and really believe in who we are as people, and that remains unchanged, it doesn't matter what's happening outside of ourselves.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: The same concept can be true of if we can learn to cultivate happiness for ourselves, we can anchor into that regardless of what's happening outside of ourselves or outside in the external world.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: So some of the things that we've talked about previously are becoming more mindful, adding a gratitude practice in, you know, really um stepping into letting go of comparisons, letting go of perfectionism.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so the the last one that I really wanted to bring up and into the forefront and sort of sort of into the awareness, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because from awareness, we can uh acknowledge and we can accept what needs to shift, and then we can take aligned action in order to shift it.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's about forgiveness.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not forgiveness just of others, it's also forgiveness of self.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: When we can let go of resentment that we have for others, or let go of resentment that we have for ourselves and how we've shown up in certain situations, we actually end up releasing the anchor that is drawing us down.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because in resentment lies anger, lies frustration, lies shame, lies guilt, which cause things like anxiety and depression and leads to uh mood disorders and just other uh negative self-talk, which is again the opposite of being able to cultivate happiness.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, in order to cultivate that happiness, in order to really anchor into a happiness habit, the the practice of self-compassion is really important.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's to acknowledge that you deserve empathy just as anyone else.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Self-compassion will teach you to let go of those shameful feelings or those guilty feelings.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: It allows space to release anger and resentment.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: It allows space for the negative emotions to do what they need to rise, crest, and then recede, which can impede your happiness.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Also, when we learn to forgive others, it's important that we're not forgiving them for their benefit, we're forgiving them for our own in the sense that we are releasing the anchor to whatever anger or frustration we are carrying with us, because that anchor keeps us from being able to cultivate happiness.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So when we deliberately choose to self-forgive for ourselves or we deliberately choose to forgive others, we're releasing ourselves out of this continual uh concept of paying a debt or owing somebody something.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're making peace with the past, we're releasing it.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, and I talked about this earlier, and when I was talking about really being more present, you can't undo the past.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: You can only learn from it and move forward.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: So when we forgive, it's about letting go of the past.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's we let go of any regret.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: We can take with it what we've learned.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And as long as we take with it what we've learned, we're actually able to move forward.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we do this, we can improve our relationship with ourselves.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: We see ourselves more clearly, we recognize that we are these right beings and we're doing the best we can.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's that whole concept of self-compassion.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's recognizing that we're these spiritual beings having a human experience.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: We are doing the best we can with the information we have.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: And when we do that, we're really creating this ability to cultivate happiness.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're really creating the foundation for creating our own happy.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So as you go through your day today, I would really encourage you to recognize moments or where you might be holding on to past resentment either with yourself or with others, and ask yourselves, what is possible if I let go of this anchor if I let go of this anchor?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: What would be possible for me to move forward if I were able to forgive myself?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: What would be possible for me if I was able to forgive what happened in the past and take with me what I've learned?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes with really bad relationships where we're holding on to that resentment.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: When we're able to forgive that person, again, it's not about it being for them, it's about being for us so that maybe we we've learned something from that past experience that we can now carry with us so we don't continue to live into that same pattern.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: So just today slow down and see if you can recognize different situations either within yourself or within others, relationships with others where maybe forgiveness might be that one thing that would allow that anchor to be released and for that happiness to start to be cultivated.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authenticme.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.