Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / ASSESSING YOUR HAPPINESS THROUGH SUBMISSION

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ASSESSING YOUR HAPPINESS THROUGH SUBMISSION · CALL ME MISTRESS

• 0:07
  Hi, welcome to the latest episode.
• 0:09
  Call Me Mistress. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia,
• 0:12
  and today we're going to read a nice little e-mail from Tony.
• 0:19
  But before we get to that, I will tell you that I have to do
• 0:23
  a shout out. One is to Nikki Ellitz.
• 0:28
  I'm assuming that's the correct way you say your name, Nikki,
• 0:31
  but I have to tell you that I am always appreciative of your
• 0:35
  lovely feedback and your sweet little comments left on the
• 0:39
  podcast. I truly appreciate your devotion
• 0:43
  and I I love that you enjoy the episodes as much as I do.
• 0:47
  Now for all of my added listeners, I will tell you that
• 0:51
  I did speak with Baby Tay this morning and Baby Tay told me
• 0:56
  that finally, all this time now that has gone by and his lovely
• 1:02
  aunt finally changed his diaper. Apparently, they were watching a
• 1:07
  college game with Alabama and Georgia this past weekend and he
• 1:13
  bet on Alabama and they did, in fact, when and ultimately the
• 1:18
  deal was she was to change his diaper.
• 1:21
  And she, of course, was very ready.
• 1:23
  She had a basket with all the toiletries set up.
• 1:27
  So Needless to say, they had an amazing time.
• 1:31
  Now we're going to talk about Tony for a moment.
• 1:33
  So Tony reached out to me, as he always does, and I'm always
• 1:39
  happy to read his emails. I'm always happy to listen to
• 1:42
  him because I think Tony represents a lot of people,
• 1:45
  listeners included. Because I think we all struggle
• 1:48
  at times with our own identity of what we want and our fetishes
• 1:54
  are kinks and what we can really do and explore in our regular
• 1:58
  lives. And it's often difficult that so
• 2:02
  many of us have to really limit what we can do because of our
• 2:06
  relationships or religious beliefs or family or our living
• 2:11
  situation. So I'm going to read Tony's
• 2:13
  e-mail. We did an episode about this
• 2:16
  last week. So I think it's only appropriate
• 2:19
  that we continue so that everyone can kind of get a a
• 2:22
  good understanding with what Tony's going through.
• 2:24
  And he writes. Mistress, thank you again for
• 2:28
  taking time to respond to my emails.
• 2:30
  And thank you for responding directly via the podcast.
• 2:34
  Hearing your voice does make a difference.
• 2:37
  It's so soothing and calming, and I love hearing you talk it
• 2:40
  through. Your kindness is unmatched.
• 2:44
  Thank you for being such a caring person and for being
• 2:47
  there for me. It means the world to me.
• 2:50
  You're so kind that I'm having a hard time imagining you being a
• 2:53
  dominant in the dungeon, but I bet there are plenty of people
• 2:56
  who can attest to your skills. I love that you love gay porn as
• 3:00
  much as I do. I would be so interested to see
• 3:04
  what kind of gay porn you enjoy watching.
• 3:08
  I love women who enjoy gay porn and enjoy by men.
• 3:13
  If you're interested, I would love to share with you a gay
• 3:16
  Bondage Twitter account that I follow.
• 3:18
  They do excellent work with Bondage.
• 3:20
  You may enjoy it. I love your mom too by the way.
• 3:24
  It always cracks me up when you talk about her.
• 3:26
  Also your story about your doctor friend who would go to
• 3:29
  glory holes with you on the phone.
• 3:31
  It was so hot. I love encouraged by play a lot.
• 3:36
  I know we talked about forced by play before.
• 3:39
  I love thinking of that. He was sucking cock at your
• 3:42
  command. It was a form of tribute to you,
• 3:45
  by him. I have to know, were you
• 3:48
  flattered by what he was doing? I've been mulling my submission
• 3:53
  options over in my head since listening to the podcast.
• 3:57
  It's clear to me now that my wife is not a Dom.
• 4:01
  We had an interesting conversation just last evening.
• 4:04
  I've known for quite a while now that my wife's old roommate from
• 4:08
  when she was 21 had a boyfriend who was a sub.
• 4:12
  She used to tell me that her roommate would dawn for him and
• 4:16
  she would tell me how her roommate would tell her about
• 4:19
  her pegging him and other things.
• 4:22
  Just by chance we got into a conversation about humiliation
• 4:26
  and verbal humiliation. Long story short, we were
• 4:29
  talking about how certain men and women like that being
• 4:33
  degraded and talked down to being insulted.
• 4:36
  She said she doesn't think she could ever do that.
• 4:39
  She said she would feel so bad about it and she would also feel
• 4:43
  disconnected by it. Sigh.
• 4:48
  I understand her. We can only do what we feel
• 4:51
  comfortable doing. I would never force something
• 4:54
  like that on someone I love. That being said, I would not
• 4:59
  feel comfortable finding someone on Fetlife to be submissive to.
• 5:03
  I think that would not really be appropriate given my situation.
• 5:07
  I would consider a pro Dom. I like that there's no feelings
• 5:11
  involved and it can be planned and scheduled and expectations
• 5:15
  set. My only problem is there's not a
• 5:19
  lot of pro Dom options where I am.
• 5:22
  I know of one, maybe 2. Also, it's tough to get out and
• 5:25
  find the time. My wife doesn't keep me on a
• 5:29
  tight leash even though I'd love to be collared.
• 5:33
  But if I'm not at work I'm usually home with our son.
• 5:37
  It'd be odd if I was gone for hours, but there are times where
• 5:40
  that may be possible. I've been considering a virtual
• 5:44
  dominant. There are plenty of Doms online
• 5:46
  who will do some kind of virtual play.
• 5:49
  I think that might be a good middle ground for me.
• 5:52
  My only hesitation is I really don't know what to expect from
• 5:55
  that. I've done popper breath play
• 5:58
  with Dominic Cam models before, but obviously that's pretty
• 6:01
  quick. It's something I want to look
• 6:04
  into. I think it might help.
• 6:06
  We will see. Thank you again for taking the
• 6:09
  time to speak to me and to let me go through these feelings and
• 6:12
  thoughts with you. I just love that you'd like to
• 6:16
  share this kinky world with everyone, that you accept people
• 6:20
  with open arms. I'm so appreciative what you do
• 6:23
  for the BDSM community as a whole.
• 6:25
  You make it easier for people like me who have certain
• 6:28
  feelings and don't know what to do with it.
• 6:30
  I know what you do is not easy and there are plenty of
• 6:34
  headaches and daily struggles with what you deal with.
• 6:37
  I just hope you know that you are loved and appreciated for
• 6:40
  what you do. I hope you enjoy doing it as
• 6:42
  much as I enjoy hearing about it.
• 6:45
  All the best, Tony. I mean, how could you not love
• 6:51
  this man? He is the sweetest.
• 6:53
  Tony, I just adore you. So I'm going to go back and
• 6:59
  break down things as we process the e-mail that you've written
• 7:03
  to me. So nice.
• 7:05
  You know, your compliments are always so kind and I truly
• 7:07
  appreciate that. You know, I just try to be
• 7:11
  helpful to people. I feel like if I can be one of
• 7:14
  those people that help other people through their process of
• 7:20
  finding themselves or finding their kinks and what they really
• 7:24
  enjoy, and I'm happy to do it. I think it's it's so uplifting,
• 7:29
  it's so rewarding and I really can't think of something better
• 7:33
  that I'd really like to do. I've always been in one of those
• 7:36
  positions in life where I've always helped people and it's
• 7:41
  always been my passion. Now I think that I'll answer
• 7:46
  your first question and that was what kind of gay porn do I like?
• 7:52
  Please share your gay Your Gay Bondage Twitter account with me.
• 7:58
  I think I'm always looking for good gay porn, but my favorites
• 8:04
  are like the Big Bear guys that like to fuck young submissive
• 8:11
  virgin boys. I think, I think it's really
• 8:18
  hot. I don't know what it is, but I
• 8:20
  have this one particular favorite porn where it's this
• 8:25
  this bigger man. He's probably late 50s and he's
• 8:29
  always fucking these young twinks and they're usually bent
• 8:34
  over or, you know, they're on their back, but they're always
• 8:38
  calling him daddy and begging for his cock.
• 8:40
  And of course, you know, he's got a nice fat Dick.
• 8:42
  He really does. But it's just really hot.
• 8:46
  I I just can't explain it. I don't know why I like it, but,
• 8:51
  you know, they say this kind of thing is genetic.
• 8:54
  But yeah, my mom is a fucking hoot.
• 8:56
  My mom is super funny. I don't even know if she
• 8:59
  realizes I talk about her on the podcast because there's so many
• 9:04
  episodes, honestly, that I don't want her hearing about my past.
• 9:09
  But I think she kind of knew about my sex addiction after my
• 9:13
  first divorce. And so she was really
• 9:16
  understanding about it. She was just like, really?
• 9:19
  How many is that today? But she's, she's funny.
• 9:25
  She was a devout Catholic. She's always been a very devout
• 9:28
  Catholic, but extremely non judgmental.
• 9:32
  She really has zero filter, which is fucking hilarious.
• 9:38
  She is, she's 85. She just turned 85 last month.
• 9:44
  And she's extremely passive aggressive, which is funny at
• 9:48
  times. Other times we don't always have
• 9:53
  the best relationship when she is very passive aggressive.
• 9:56
  But as far as porn goes, I think she likes fucking hot Cowboys
• 10:02
  fucking. And that's again why she loves
• 10:04
  Brokeback Mountain. She loves Christian Gray.
• 10:08
  She's just, she's a hoot. I could go on about that, but I
• 10:13
  will. I'll go on to your next
• 10:15
  question, which was, Oh, my doctor friend, my doctor friend
• 10:20
  of Fort Lauderdale. This guy was sexy as fuck.
• 10:24
  Really not my type of guy. He's he's bald, which is cool.
• 10:28
  I've I've fucked a lot of bald men's who with the shaved head
• 10:32
  don't mind that at all. Sexy as fuck.
• 10:34
  He's one of those guys. He shaves head to toe, just
• 10:37
  fucking hot. But then he had a full on beard
• 10:40
  mustache. I really don't get into the
• 10:41
  beard, but mustaches I can do. I can do all day long.
• 10:47
  But this doctor was so sexy. Oh my God.
• 10:51
  So here he would leave the ER, he would call me and he'd be
• 10:55
  like, Mistress, I got to go to the glory hole.
• 10:59
  And you know, at times I'm questioning was he smoking
• 11:04
  crack? Because this is before vape
• 11:07
  pens. But man, he would, he would
• 11:10
  really fucking choke on something.
• 11:11
  He was sucking. I was assuming he was smoking
• 11:14
  crack. I, you know, it's just, it was
• 11:17
  one of those things at the time, you don't, you don't think about
• 11:21
  it because you're sitting back and, you know, I'm on the phone
• 11:25
  sometimes I would get to see him, you know, we'd get on
• 11:28
  webcam together on Skype. But he was just a really super
• 11:31
  cool guy. But yeah, I think that it was a
• 11:33
  tribute to me. I think that in a lot of ways he
• 11:35
  was kind of like my long distance cup because I would
• 11:38
  tell him about my extensive sex life with multiple people and if
• 11:43
  he had been in town, we had talked about meeting and we just
• 11:47
  it was one of those things, you know, it's a big distance.
• 11:49
  It was never, you know, direct flights where I was or where he
• 11:52
  was and that and he worked 50 hours a week.
• 11:55
  So, but Needless to say, he went to glory holes.
• 11:58
  I would walk him through it and he would be like, he gets so
• 12:03
  nervous about it. And I was just like, come on,
• 12:05
  Jason, come on baby, you can do it.
• 12:07
  You can have sucked that big cock for me.
• 12:09
  And yeah, he would go in, he would tell me all about it.
• 12:12
  And you know, I told him I'm like, I don't care if it's white
• 12:15
  or black, just see who's got the biggest, fucking hottest,
• 12:18
  juiciest cock. And we talked about it.
• 12:20
  It was great. And I was, yes, I was very
• 12:22
  flattered by him doing it because it was his passion.
• 12:26
  It was my passion. And of course, I would send him
• 12:29
  dirty pics and videos of my, of my multiple partners.
• 12:34
  And you know, the whole concept of penetration or oral sex.
• 12:38
  I have, you know what, Tony, I'm going to send you a nice picture
• 12:41
  of a cock in my mouth and you're going to fucking love it.
• 12:45
  So then you talk about mulling over your submission.
• 12:49
  So I think you're absolutely right.
• 12:51
  I think that was kind of looking at the side of you not spending
• 12:55
  money on somebody. So maybe you wouldn't be so
• 12:57
  invested. But I think you're right.
• 13:00
  Maybe just keeping it with a level of professionalism is
• 13:02
  fine. Now again, I am happy to do do
• 13:05
  this with you. If you ever just want to sit on
• 13:08
  the phone and you want to do FaceTime or if you want to get
• 13:11
  on Telegram or something like that or Kik, I'll sit there with
• 13:15
  you and we'll talk about it. We'll come up with some scenes
• 13:17
  or scenarios. If you were my long distance
• 13:20
  sub, I would tell you, you need to lay everything out that you
• 13:24
  want to use in that session. I still think you need to go
• 13:27
  back to journaling. Even if it's writing an e-mail
• 13:30
  to me, that to me that's journaling.
• 13:32
  That is a form of time stamp of what you're doing and how you're
• 13:35
  feeling. So feel free just to e-mail me
• 13:38
  and we'll, we'll talk about it. I think it's very clear, you
• 13:41
  know, you and I have had multiple conversations about
• 13:43
  this, that your wife is indeed not a Dom.
• 13:47
  You know, she can't can't cater to what you want.
• 13:50
  Therefore, I always feel like men that come to see us in the
• 13:54
  dungeon, I don't feel like they're cheating on their wives.
• 13:56
  I think we're doing their wives a huge service because there's a
• 14:00
  lot of wives that don't want to humiliate their husbands.
• 14:03
  They don't want to see their husbands dress up.
• 14:05
  That is such a huge turn off for a lot of women.
• 14:08
  I think that therefore it's really not a form of cheating.
• 14:11
  I think it's a beautiful thing that you can act out your own
• 14:15
  kinks and if that's something you enjoy and you're not hurting
• 14:18
  your wife, it's something that is completely separate from her.
• 14:21
  And it's not as if you're fucking some woman.
• 14:23
  It's not that you're fucking some dude or you're getting
• 14:26
  fucked. So I really don't see that
• 14:28
  there's an issue with it. That's really all that it boils
• 14:30
  down to is doing what fits you best, what you feel comfortable
• 14:35
  doing because there are multiple types of virtual play.
• 14:39
  I know I have my one Sissy slave and you know he's an hour and a
• 14:44
  half away and there's times where he'll turn on his camera
• 14:47
  and I will make him fuck his own ass.
• 14:50
  I will have him on his knees facing the corner.
• 14:54
  I will have him tell me all of the ways that he disappointed me
• 14:57
  for the week. It's just really what your
• 14:59
  expectations and what your hopes are and what you can accomplish
• 15:02
  in that period of time. I'll comment as well on your
• 15:05
  last paragraph, you know, about what I do for the community.
• 15:08
  Honestly, I feel like I'm just here to help.
• 15:11
  I think that we're all here to value and appreciate one
• 15:14
  another. And I think that we're here to
• 15:18
  appreciate ourselves in the community, what we can offer
• 15:22
  other people and that we come judgment free and that we come
• 15:26
  to explore and express and enjoy ourselves in our life and what
• 15:30
  really makes us happy. You know, my husband told me
• 15:34
  over the weekend, he told me that I was kind of explaining to
• 15:38
  him the situation with one of my submissives.
• 15:41
  And I said, you know, my one Sissy slave, he is one of those
• 15:46
  people that struggle with substance abuse.
• 15:48
  And there's a lot of people that I've come across that have
• 15:52
  issues with substance abuse. And it goes back to, you know,
• 15:55
  addiction, addictive personalities and people that
• 15:58
  are in the kink lifestyle aside from their own addictions.
• 16:02
  You know, not all people have that struggle.
• 16:04
  But even if you're in the lifestyle, I think that, you
• 16:08
  know, Liv PO, we've all talked about this.
• 16:10
  It's about self acceptance. And my husband told me that I
• 16:15
  define people by their kinks. And I'm like that's I don't find
• 16:21
  that complimentary. I said I don't define people by
• 16:25
  their kinks. I define people for who they are
• 16:28
  and what they are and what they bring to the table as an
• 16:31
  individual. What can they offer people in
• 16:33
  relationships? And I think that their kinks
• 16:37
  don't define them. I think they make their kink and
• 16:41
  their kink makes them in a sense, but it doesn't define
• 16:44
  them as individuals. Just like your job, your
• 16:48
  profession, it doesn't define you.
• 16:49
  But I was telling him that my slave has a lot of resistance
• 16:54
  and a lot of crossdressers that I have, you know, had in my
• 16:57
  life. They have had resistance about
• 17:00
  what they want and they hate the follow through a lot of times
• 17:04
  with what they have to do in order to accomplish what they
• 17:06
  truly want. My view of what I would love to
• 17:09
  see for him is to be a 24/7 Sissy slave, but everyone has
• 17:14
  the resistance to some point in what they want in their kink
• 17:17
  lifestyle. You know, one of my slaves, he
• 17:19
  talks about wanting to be confined and be in his padded
• 17:23
  closet and you know, only have certain access to certain things
• 17:28
  like food and capabilities of using the bathroom outside of
• 17:33
  wearing a depend or wearing a catheter.
• 17:36
  So ultimately, Tony, I think we define ourselves and what we
• 17:41
  truly want to make ourselves happy.
• 17:44
  And if you are unable to attain your level of happiness with
• 17:49
  submission and what you truly want, then your life as a whole
• 17:55
  will be less than and you won't find that complete happiness.
• 17:58
  So on that, I will leave you those words, whether I'm right,
• 18:03
  whether I'm wrong, you be the judge.
• 18:06
  You have to decide for yourself what you want and what's truly
• 18:09
  going to make you happy. Until then, thank you for
• 18:12
  listening. Thank you again for all your
• 18:14
  support. I truly appreciate all of my
• 18:17
  fans and their loyalty and to devotion to the podcast.
• 18:23
  So until then, this has been the latest episode of Call Me
• 18:28
  Mistress.