Latest / The Built For More Podcast / Season 2: Opener

Transcript

Season 2: Opener · The Built For More Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: So at the beginning of the year, I really had a huge goal of putting out podcasts, YouTube videos, at least once a week, and putting out more Instagram content.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because the idea was to really expand the reach of this different perspective of coaching.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I feel like that's what the people in my audience really understand.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's we know you want to lose weight.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: We know you want to get a six-pack.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: We know you want to eat healthier.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: But there's just so much more to it than just macros in training.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a perspective shift.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I really wanted to push forward in 2026.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And after the first couple months, I felt like I was starting to get the hang of it, starting to get a rhythm.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: But life has a way of just happening and running on red, I guess, at maximum capacity.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: It just leaves little to no room for anything to go wrong or any other like event to occur in your life.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just a recipe for burnout.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what happened.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I can use the excuse of maybe the kids were on summer break and I needed a break, but in the end, it was it was just trying to do too much all at once.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that like idea resonates with so many people because we've we've all tried to do that.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: We've all gone down that road of just trying to do everything all at once, and it's just not working out.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm I'm trying a different strategy, something that I feel more aligned with.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And where it starts is a shift in our entire program.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um we started this company with this idea of we're just gonna help people with workouts and we're gonna help people with their nutrition.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we did.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: We've we've helped hundreds of people at this point.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, on one end, we've helped people lose a hundred plus pounds.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: On the other end, we've had guys who were, I guess, in in dad bod shape that literally look like a Marvel superhero, like the exact same physique as the Marvel superheroes and just chiseled.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So we've seen the entire spectrum, we've been successful on the entire spectrum, and that was like that initial goal.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: But over now 10 years of doing this, it feels shallow.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's there's more to it, and that's what's led to this I feel like evolution of coaching.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think a lot of people feel this with AI is that there's I want a soul, I want to understand, like I want the connection, I want the feeling.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and something that I've been circling around for the last handful of months is that zero percent of people who came to me to lose weight, get a six pack, um, just get healthier in general.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, zero percent of them actually wanted to lose weight, get a six-pack, or be healthier in general.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Zero percent.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to be more respected.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to feel wanted by their wife, they wanted to feel competent, they wanted to like there's these things, these core desires that they have, and they translate those core desires into maybe if I get this thing, then this thing will then translate into me having that respect.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And really what's underneath that core desire is I just want to be seen.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like we we we have this desire more now than ever with the rise of AI and computers and like just the distance between so many people and just not having those friendships, those connections that we had five, 10, 15 years ago, and it it's it's lonelier now than it's ever been.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So this desire to feel seen.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: So it's translated into maybe if I buy this car, if I get this job, if I get this body, if I have this physique, um, if I have this significant other, kids, whatever it is, there's this thing that you're hoping translates into this core desire, core feeling.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's uh those are, I guess, what I'm calling like secondary desires, because that core desire is just a desire to be seen.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's connected and feel like you're truly seen.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And rolling back the decades, this has been a common theme in every single person's life.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Where um I think back to my like teenage years, and I like to use this example because I feel like it's true for every single person.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: The first time I even considered drinking alcohol, it was 100% to prove something to other people.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like drinking my first beer, I think was like a Budweiser.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, yeah, this is gonna be cool.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if I do this, I will appear cool, or I will appear to be a part of this crowd.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And whether it's a way to distinguish myself from other people or to align myself with these other people, like there's nothing in the human condition, in the human body that craves alcohol.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing, it is 100% an external influence on our life, and we willingly do it to prove something to someone else.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the weirdest part of it is that we learn to like it over time.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because the the thing is that first time I had Budweiser, and this is again probably a very universal feeling, is it was disgusting.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was gross.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, this past Saturday, mowing the grass, you that that flavor that I was craving was a beer.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I it went from in my teenage years to something that was tasted disgusting to now in my 40s, it's it's a flavor that I crave.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I learned to like it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you think about how that process works, is I learned to like it because those external influences mattered way more than the initial reactions that I had to it.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So my brain overrode my flavor in my head to associate it with a good time.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then over time, my brain convinced me from a flavor standpoint that this is delicious and I should have it all the time.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And fast forward into the 20s, into the 30s, having it to socialize with friends, and that's part of my identity.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is how we do, uh, this is how we socialize, this is how we like get together.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's something to think about, like what other things in life did I convince myself were a was a good thing, and it's a direct result of other people's opinions largely driving what I do or don't do.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like there's this underlying thing that no one's really saying, and then maybe it's our midlife crisis.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I heard someone say it's a it's a midlife chrysalis.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and if you don't know anything about chrysalis, we're deep into kids stuff.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's where the like the caterpillar turns into a butterfly.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: But we're at a point where we're starting to notice all these things that are fake about us, all these things that we did strictly for other people's approval.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's starting to feel shallow.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's hard to put the same amount of energy into the things that we know feel shallow.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're starting to ask better questions.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's essentially what this has to be.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: We have to start asking better questions.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And part of that better question is what are those things that have influenced my life, largely directed my trajectory, that are a direct result from just trying to prove something to someone else, trying to meet someone else's expectations, trying to make someone else happy, or really at its core, I want to be seen by certain people in this certain way.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And we're still doing it.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's going back to like the six-pack, the losing weight, the maybe it's eating this or eating that.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: I I look back to how this translates into today's environment.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: When you're in a um, let's say you're meeting with a client and the client orders the steak, the potato, the the wine, and the dessert, and you're like, well, I need to order the steak, a potato, the wine, dessert, because like I'm trying to build connection.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to show them that, hey, uh, we're like people, we can do the same things.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you're essentially just doing the same song and dance that we did as teenagers saying, hey, cool, look at me.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I am see look at me, and I I'm seen or see me in this certain light because I want your business, because we put so much value in, like I want to be the provider, so I have to do the song and dance to be that provider.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're so scared of being seen as our true self.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have the confidence that our natural personality will shine through or win that client.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and as you think about it and say that out loud, how sad is that that all of us do these certain things in life to whether it's the lunch meeting, the um your time out with friends, and like, hey, you're watching football.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you're having the the beer, the wings, the nachos, whatever it is, because that's just what you do.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're doing these things because we crave connection, but we do these because we're scared that if we don't, they won't like us for who we really are.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the part that at 44, it's it's definitely something I've questions.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know after my divorce, it was something that I went down that road.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I almost doubled down on the song and dance.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was whoever you needed to be, that's who I was going to be.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then it took some honest reflection to look in the mirror and be like, oh, I I need to develop that person within and have confidence to say, no, I don't need the drink.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: I can win this client on my own personality and knowledge, and they can trust me.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can go my own path.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if no one else likes it, that's fine.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the people I am running into now at 44, it's either they're so sold on this persona that they've built without even realizing that, like you can see the hollowness underneath it, or they're starting to question it, and it's super scary.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'll be the first one to say it's super scary to to rip off that mask and that persona and really try to stay true to the person within.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because the first question you ask is like, who is that person?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't really know because you you haven't had a relationship with that person.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like at our midlife crisis for millennials, it we're not trying to buy the fast car, get the young girl.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's not our midlife crisis.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Our midlife crisis is I want to go back to better connection with myself.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I want a better connection with people.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it is it's almost like the opposite of the boomer midlife crisis.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's awesome that it is that way, but it's still just something that we have to recognize that something's happening.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to recognize how often we've chased other people's opinions.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's now we've adopted as our own identity, and start questioning some things and start realizing that maybe that's why work doesn't feel as important anymore.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's hard to really stick to a workout routine.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's hard to stick to certain diets, because other people's opinions are more valued than your own.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think when you're holding on to that stress at nine, 10 o'clock, and you're watching Netflix, and the only reason you're watching it is because you're trying to de-stress.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sign that you didn't respect your own needs throughout the day.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's all it is.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: When you're um choosing the wrong thing or an unhealthy option, it's always you're valuing someone else's opinion more than what your body is telling you.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your body never craves an unhealthy option.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: It always craves the healthy option.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Stress craves the unhealthy option.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: So you just look back to all the unhealthy activities, the byproduct, they are all a byproduct of your internal self is not getting the attention it needs.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I say all this because as I kind of we started with the company started with, hey, this is nutrition and this is an exercise.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I still feel like that's very important.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like you still need the action.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can't just write in a journal and all of a sudden get in this get a six pack.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: However, if you write in a journal enough, you're gonna be consistent with the things you need to do to get the six pack.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: So we're essentially, or I'm essentially, giving away all the training programs, nutrition programs, whatever you want from a training and nutrition champ program, I'll give you for free.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's zero risk that you'll do it if you don't have this other stuff aligned.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because even if you do it, and let's say you lose 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 pounds, you're gonna gain it back.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody does.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're what I I typically say, and I had a guy, he kind of laughed at me when I say it, but if you fix the internal stuff, the six pack is easy.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And he laughed at me for months because I would say it all the time.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, it's 100% true.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: After we worked together for a few months, and he really started working on his relationships, started working on like how he's how present he is and and how he's handling himself around his kids and his work.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, I hon, I I honestly feel aligned.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I what they talk about, like purpose driven, I finally feel purpose driven.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was made on this earth to be this version of who I am.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, the funny thing is, I don't feel that pull for this food or that food.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel like the working out, it's just part of who I am.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I can push myself too, because it comes with an energy.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of it starts coming together because like it, it's it's hard to resist the bad foods, but if you fix what's underneath those bad, that pull of those unhealthy options, they're not there anymore.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: They just fall away.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what we've really changed is like I'm just gonna have these podcasts, I'll write articles.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's about shifting perspectives to allow you to do that healthy things more consistently.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because that in the end, that's that's what really matters.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's a shift in how you see the world and how you react to the world, and to recognize that, oh, I'm just doing this for someone else's approval and I'm largely ignoring my own intuition.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like we have to start listening to that.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And at 40, at 30, whatever age you may be, and now's the time.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: It you could, in your if you're in your 20s, go for it.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Chase other people's dreams and try to make friends, like have a great time.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Cause you kind of need to do that.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a certain point in your life where you you feel like another night out drinking, it's fun, but it's it does not even hold a candle to the enjoyment that I have now in my 40s.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Being with my kids and just seeing the joy and really emotionally connecting with other people like doesn't even hold a candle to it.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the shift, and that's what it's taken me six, seven months to finally realize I just needed to admit and and do because there's not a lot, there's I don't know a single other fitness creator that's doing this.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what felt so scary is that I I felt like I had to be going doing the things that other fitness creators did.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew it was not right.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: I knew there was a better strategy out there.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just felt concerned and and like I'd be judged, and now it's just it doesn't matter.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like it my the people who really want to connect with this will connect to this, and and so I'm really glad that we're making this shift and uh I'm excited about the new trajectory.