Latest / Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ) / "Getting To the Heart of Our Tongue Problems (James 3:13-18)" by Neal Pollard

Transcript

"Getting To the Heart of Our Tongue Problems (James 3:13-18)" by Neal Pollard · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

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I'm probably not the only one that associates songs with childhood.
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I don't know why, but that song almost gives me a little bit of PTSD because I remember
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it mostly when we were going on vacation.
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I don't know why it was always that.
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I have a sister who's three and a half years older than me and a brother who is five years
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younger than me.
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My dad is the extrovert and was growing up, and my mom very much introverted and quiet,
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and I remember when we got to fussing and fighting in the back seat of the station wagon,
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she would start singing that song at us.
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Angry words, love one another, and I understood when I became a parent how much that was necessary.
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You think about some of the tongue problems that exist.
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There are some literal physical tongue problems that people face, not to minimize this in
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any way at all.
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There's a condition known as geographic tongue where there are red splotches or patches that
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appear on the tongue and move around, and thus the term geographic tongue.
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There is macroglossia, a condition that describes an enlarged or an overgrown tongue that can
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even affect one's speech.
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And then there's even a condition called hairy tongue where the papillae on the taste buds
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in the tongue proliferately grow so that it looks like there's hair on the tongue.
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In a figurative sense, we talk about the tongue and we think about phrases that we use to
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talk about difficulties that we have when speaking.
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If we have difficulty having the words come out, somebody might say to us, does the cat
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have your tongue?
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Or if we can't get the words out, maybe we say that our tongue is tangled or it's tied
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up.
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Or if a word is very difficult to say, or if there's some kind of saying that we try
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to get people to say like Peter Pepper, you know that one, we call that our tongue twisters.
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There are tongue issues that we have physically, that we have mentally.
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The Bible's concerned about those tongue issues that affect us spiritually.
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When you think about what the Bible says about the tongue, there are people's words who either
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come to mind through what they taught or what they wrote.
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Jesus has so much to say about the tongue in teaching about the kingdom.
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And of course, those who came after him would do the same.
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In the Old Testament, we think about how much Solomon has to say, primarily in the book
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of Proverbs, but also in his other writings about the tongue.
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But in the shortest amount of time, who says more about the tongue than James?
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He'll say something like, if any among you seems to be religious and bridles not his
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tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
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Later on, from where Brady was reading in James chapter 1 and verse 26.
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We go to James chapter 3 and verse 2, it says, in many things we all offend.
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If anyone does not offend in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole
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body.
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James chapter 3 and verse 2.
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And then he makes a comparison.
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This small member in our body, it sets on fire the world of nature.
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The tongue is a fire, James 3 verse 5 and verse 6.
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It is also a deadly poison full of all kinds of evil, James chapter 3 and verse 8.
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God wants us to be forewarned about what our tongues are capable of and the dangers
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that it can get us into.
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And so you'll find him saying that in through the tongue we offend in so many ways, James
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chapter 3 and verse 2.
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And the tongue no man can tame, James chapter 3 and verse 8.
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When we consider this fact, it is something that we have got to realize, and that is that
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we're always going to have difficulties controlling our tongue.
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We're never going to perfectly conquer the sins of the tongue.
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But with God's help we are able to grow and we're able to develop and do better along
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those lines.
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There are a lot of different strategies, a lot of different things that we can do to
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help us to achieve the control of our tongues that we want as children of God who are trying
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to reflect His nature in all of our relationships.
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And one of the things that James gives us by the inspiration of God to help us is the
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quality of wisdom.
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Do you see what we saw in the reading a moment ago in James chapter 1 and verse 5?
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If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without
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reproach and it shall be given unto him, James chapter 1 and verse 5.
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And then he says, who is wise in understanding among you?
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Let him show by his behavior and his good deeds the gentleness of wisdom.
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But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant
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and so lie against the truth.
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For this is not that wisdom which comes from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic.
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For where there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there is disorder in every evil work.
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But the wisdom that comes from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, full of reason,
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full of mercy and good works, unwavering and without hypocrisy, and the seed whose fruit
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is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
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That's James chapter 3, verse 13 through 18.
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I was telling Kathy on the way here, I have preached, I think, from every paragraph in
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the book of James in my preaching life.
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I don't know how I have missed James chapter 3, verse 13 through 18.
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As far as I know, never preached on it before tonight.
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And perhaps it's because I have not realized that James is not changing the subject in
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James 3, 13 through 18.
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If James chapter 3, verse 1 through 12, is warning us about the dangers of the tongue,
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the problems that our tongues get us into, have we not seen or can we not see James 3,
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13 through 18?
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It's God's solution, it's His remedy.
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If we incorporate these things into our hearts and our lives, we can get a better grasp on
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what's so difficult for all of us to do, and that's to control our tongues.
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James is called a practical book, and he gives us three practical ways to tame our
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tongue.
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That's all I want to do is to see those three things tonight.
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First of all, if we're going to tame our tongues, we must be meek.
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In James chapter 3, verse 13, who is righteous and wise among you?
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Let him show by his behavior and his deeds the gentleness of wisdom.
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Now you'll notice that James highlights behavior and conduct, but we have to say when we look
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at all that makes up our conduct and our deeds, our speech is a part of that.
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People who know and think of us in certain ways think about our words as a function of
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our overall behavior.
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So it's helpful for us to then step back and ask, what does James mean by gentleness or
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meekness?
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And depending on the version that you have, you may have humility, you may have gentleness
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and meekness.
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It is this idea of our outward behavior showing this inter-strength of heart and mind.
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It does show up in deeds, but it's an attitude of spirit.
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It's a condition of the heart and the mind.
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The thing that strikes me about gentleness is that when all that Jesus could say about
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himself and his heart, when he begins to describe it, he chooses to say, I am gentle in heart.
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You know, Ortland says with regard to this that Jesus was never trigger happy.
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He was the most under control of all the people in the universe.
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His natural posture was not the pointing finger, but the open arms.
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And I think if the only perfect person in the world to ever live was characterized in
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this way, that he had this gentleness, that he had this humility, this softness about
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him that gave people the benefit of the doubt, if I'm going to be like him, then I'm going
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to strive to have that quality in my life.
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And if I'm meek, how will it affect my speech?
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Well, if I think about that in practical terms, the New Testament tells me.
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When it comes to my speech and being gentle, if I'm going to incorporate that heavenly
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portion into my life, then it's going to affect the way that I deal with my enemies.
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Jesus in Matthew chapter 5 and verse 45 says that we are to love our enemies and to pray
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for those who despitefully use us.
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That being the case, if I put it in my heart to pray about and to think the best of those
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who have made themselves my enemies, isn't it going to impact my heart?
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And if it impacts my heart, it's going to show up in the words that I say to and about
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my enemies.
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So Paul's going to come along later on and he's going to say,
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Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place to wrath.
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Because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me, says the Lord, I will repay.
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Therefore, if your enemy hungers, give him food.
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If he's thirsty, give him drink.
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For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire upon his head.
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Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
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In Romans 12, 19 through 21, Jesus would say through Peter,
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Look at me on the cross and see how I demonstrate meekness toward those who made me the ultimate enemy.
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Jesus on the cross, out of a meekness of heart, could say,
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Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
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But Peter's going to express it this way.
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He'd say, For even here unto where you called, that like as Christ suffered for us,
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leaving us an example that we should follow in his steps, who did no sin,
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neither was there any deceit found in his mouth,
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who when he was reviled, or that is, when people said threatening things, he reviled not,
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who when he suffered, he did not threaten, but he kept on committing himself to him who judges righteously.
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Peter says, Look at this, when your enemies mistreat you,
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bring meekness into your heart, and it's going to come out in non-threatening speech.
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It's going to come out in saying those things that bless and don't curse our enemies.
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Would it also change the way that we deal with the lost?
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It can be difficult when trying to share the good news of God on any particular subject,
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and we meet somebody who has been carried away by a doctrine that perhaps most of the religious world believes.
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And they don't just roll over, they don't just take our word for it,
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and it can try our patience, and maybe we can be tempted to be harsh in response.
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But notice that Paul anticipates that we might struggle with this,
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and so he says that the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome, but be able to teach,
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patient when wrong, in gentleness, correcting those who are in opposition,
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who have been ensnared by the devil, taken captive by him in order to do his will.
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What's Paul saying? He's saying incorporate gentleness,
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and in the teaching that you do, in the words that you say,
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they'll be meek and reflect this quality that helps to tame the tongue.
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1 Peter 3.15 says that we are to be ready to give an answer
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to everyone that asks us a reason for the hope that's in us with meekness and respect.
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And so the Bible is telling us everywhere that this is how we tame our tongue,
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bring meekness into the enemy relationship, into the relationship with the lost.
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And how about when it comes to the conflicts that we have with one another?
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How about when we find ourselves as the one who's innocent in a disagreement with someone?
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Maybe someone else is at fault. Maybe someone is at fault spiritually.
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How do we handle that?
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Paul says, brethren, even if any one of you is overtaken in a trespass,
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you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.
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Galatians chapter 6 and verse 1.
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How about when we have two different ways to approach something that's a matter of judgment?
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It's just a difference of style or the way that we would approach the same thing.
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It's not doctrine. It's not truth.
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And yet we get crossways with one another.
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Paul says, with all lowliness and meekness,
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with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love. Ephesians 4 and verse 2.
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It says, if God anticipates every relationship where we might be speaking to one another.
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And he says, let me give you this quality that will help you to tame your tongue.
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And that's meekness. And let's get a little closer to home.
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Would it change the way that we talk to one another in our family relationships?
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We're to show every courtesy. Titus 3 and verse 2 says, to all people.
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But that includes your spouse. It includes your children.
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It includes your parents. And in fact,
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I would say that we need to spend some time really meditating on passages like this
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because the places where we spend more time with people
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are the places where we're more likely to sin with our tongue.
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And so we've got to incorporate meekness in all of these different relationships in life.
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James is saying, in many things we offend all.
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How do we overcome the sins of the tongue?
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In the same context, he says, show it in the meekness of wisdom. Be meek.
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Then he gives us a second answer. If we're going to tame our tongues, we need to watch our motives.
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In verse 14 through 16, he reminds us that all of us are motivated by something.
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And those motives may or may not be pure and right.
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And so as he speaks about what moves us, what drives us,
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he talks about a couple of qualities that are actually lusts of the flesh.
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In Galatians chapter 5 in verse 20, and they show up in our speech.
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Here they are. The first one is bitter jealousy.
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That's putting my desires above others.
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I found it very interesting. And no offense,
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I know there are going to be some people who vehemently disagree with me on this matter of judgment.
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But did you know the word bitter is from the Greek word pikros?
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I don't know what that sounds like to you. That sounds like pickles to me.
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Pickles, by the way, that word means excessively bitter and
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accurate to the point of almost being poisonous.
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And that describes what a dill pickle tastes like to me.
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My wife loves it. A lot of other folks do. I know you do.
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But I think about how folks seem to be figuratively sucking on a pickle
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and get hostile and angry.
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And so it's a vivid word to me. He says bitter jealousy.
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Jealousy is looking at someone else's relationship or someone else's possessions
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or anything that belongs to someone else
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and wanting to have what they have or to have more than they have.
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And being so filled with upsetness or hostility about that,
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that one is willing to say or do anything about the object of our jealousy
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in order to level the playing fields or to make them look in the worst light.
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He says this is what drives our actions. It can drive our motives.
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And so we've got to be careful to make sure that bitter jealousy doesn't describe
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putting my desires above others.
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And then he mentioned selfish ambition.
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This is putting my interests above others.
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This is the mindset that says it is my way or no way.
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By the way, this word for selfish ambition is one word
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and it was originally used to describe a day laborer and his wage.
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The mentality, the mindset of one who was just hired for the day.
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They don't care anything about the owner. They don't care anything about the company.
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They have just come. They're going to do what's required of them
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in order to get their pay, nothing more, nothing else.
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Just what it takes for them to get what they feel like they deserve.
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And so James uses these two words.
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And he applies it to how we contain our tongues.
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He says be aware that these two things come up in our lives.
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And he says what happens when there's bitter jealousy
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when I want what you have and I'm willing to do anything
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in order to either get it or make sure you don't have it.
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Or I'm driven by selfish ambition to want my way above your way
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and my goals above your goals.
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He says it leads to two very common things that are sins of the tongue.
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He says it leads to arrogance or boasting and lying.
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I can twist and distort words in order to make others look worse or myself look better.
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Those things come out in our speech. Lying is a sin of the tongue.
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Then there's also boasting.
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And this can be one of those things that Christians deal with.
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We alluded to it this morning.
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When one is practicing their righteousness to be seen of men, Matthew 6 and verse 2.
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Or is parading their good works to be noticed by others, Matthew 6 and verse 5.
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Or it's highlighting our sacrifices to get the notice of other individuals, Matthew 6 and verse 16.
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But here's the thing that's difficult.
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It's hard for us to know when we are striking up the band and blowing a trumpet to play our own tune.
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It's hard for us to realize that we're the Grand Marshal who is leading a parade of our good deeds.
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And so James says, what you've got to always do is check your motives.
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Why are you doing what you're doing?
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Because where bitter jealousy and selfish ambition exist,
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there is arrogance and there's lying against the truth.
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But he also says, there is disorder in every evil thing.
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When you consider the sins of the tongue and the diversity of them,
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whether it's slander or losing our cool and sinning in our speech,
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we find ourselves leading to all kinds of verbal offenses if we don't check our motivation.
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If we watch that jealousy and selfish ambition, it prevents what James says can happen otherwise.
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It calls for us to examine ourselves constantly to make sure that we're watching,
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why do we say what we say? Why do we do what we do?
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Do you want to tame your tongue?
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James is just giving us the remedy to help us to avoid all the stuff that he warns about in James 3, 1 through 12.
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And he gives us another, and perhaps this is the best.
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He says, if you want to tame your tongue, reflect heavenly wisdom.
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One thing that's remarkable about Scripture is that God doesn't just highlight the problems,
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the sins, the difficulties, the things that get us in trouble.
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But God loves us so much that he comes along and he tries to help us to see what we put in its place.
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Remember when Jesus teaches a parable about the man with the unclean spirit and he cleans out his heart,
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and yet he doesn't replace it, and thus along come several more, seven,
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who come who are worse than the first,
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and he finds himself in a position that was far worse than it was before.
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What James is doing, moved by the Holy Spirit, is saying,
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once you clean out this boastfulness, this lack of meekness,
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and once you are looking at your motivation and making sure that it's pure,
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then add these heavenly qualities.
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There are two kinds of wisdom.
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There's heavenly and there's earthly.
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He's described for us, in fact he doesn't spend much time in verse 15 talking about what the earthly wisdom is.
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It is earthly, it's sensual, it's demonic, it's all we need to know.
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But heavenly wisdom, look at how he describes it very quickly.
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First of all, it's pure.
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That is, it is the honey without the wax.
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It is without defilement.
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It's without stain.
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A lot of different ways that it's used in the New Testament, but look at how James uses it.
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In James 1, verse 27, he says that incorporating heavenly wisdom leads to pure religion, James 1, 27.
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It leads to purity in your speech.
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James 3 and verse 6.
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And then in James chapter 4 and verse 8, he says, draw near unto God,
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and He will draw near unto you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts, you double-minded.
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And so this heavenly wisdom is pure.
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It's without fault.
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But then it's peaceable.
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It brings people together. It builds relationships.
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It is looking for ways to tear down walls.
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It's not trying to erect barriers that keep people apart.
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That's why it's heavenly wisdom.
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Then it's gentle.
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The opposite of the idea of harsh.
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It's the idea of being that which demonstrates patience.
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It's that which cares about how what is said and done is perceived and received.
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And then it's also open to reason.
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It's reasonable with regard to its expectations of others.
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It can be reasoned with that heavenly wisdom.
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We also see that it's full of mercy and full of good fruits.
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That is, you can look at the characteristics of it as you interact with somebody
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who is striving to have this piece of heavenly wisdom.
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And they're going to be gentle and kind with you.
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They're going to show by the deeds that they do
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that they have heaven on their heart and in their life. It's impartial.
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It doesn't treat the offenses of one party with greater severity or lesser severity
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depending on how important we think that other person is
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or if we think that they can do something for us.
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It's the same for everybody.
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It's also sincere. It's without hypocrisy.
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It doesn't say one thing and do another.
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It is consistent and trustworthy.
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So as I think about this, this is those pieces of heavenly wisdom
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that James is showing us in James 3 and verse 17.
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How can I know if I have incorporated that into my speech?
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Well, all we've got to do is turn that around and ask some questions.
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Is my speech pure?
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You know, we speak so much and we develop a reputation for the kind of words that we use.
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Maybe even how we say those words.
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But as people think about our speech, do they think of us using pure words?
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Are there vulgar and suggestive words that come off of our lips?
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Are they words that lead people to think things that aren't going to bring them closer to God?
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And so, if I'm going to incorporate heaven's wisdom, then it's going to be seen in my speech.
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Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 and verse 8 says,
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Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
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Do people see God when they hear me speak?
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Or does my speech eclipse Him?
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Is my speech peaceable?
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When I think about the speech that I give, does it stir the pot?
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Does it cause division?
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Or does it bring people together?
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Is my speech gentle?
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When we think about the world, it's a harsh place so often.
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And the words that are used reflect that.
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Words of slander, words of criticism that are hypercriticism.
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All the different ways in which speech can be harsh.
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But what about my speech?
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Ecclesiastes 10 and verse 12 says that,
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The lips of the wise man are gracious, but a fool's lips consume him.
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In Colossians chapter 4 and verse 6,
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Let your speech be always with grace, as though seasoned with salt,
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so that you may know how you ought to answer every man.
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Is my speech open to reason?
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Do people feel like when they talk to me that they can have a good conversation?
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Or is it like speaking to a brick wall for them?
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How about merciful and full of good fruits?
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Especially if they've done something that is wrong and that they've wronged me.
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If they have hurt me or offended me in some way,
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what would they expect from me in return?
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Would they expect me to be merciful with them?
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Or have they had an experience of my tongue lashings in the past
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and they'll do what they can to avoid having to have any kind of interaction with me?
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Is my speech impartial?
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Do I levy the same penalties for everyone regardless of who they are?
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Do I treat everybody with the same magnanimity that I do others?
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Graciousness and giving them the benefit of the doubt.
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And are my words sincere?
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Am I passive aggressive?
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Do my words mean what they say?
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How do I know?
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Well, James tells me there's heavenly wisdom and there's earthly wisdom.
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And if I'm incorporating heavenly wisdom, it's not going to stay in my heart.
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It's going to show up in my speech.
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I understand that 40 billion dollars worth of damage is done
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each and every year just through flash floods all around the world.
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When you think about the untold damage that is done with water,
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whether it be tsunamis or tidal waves or through flooded rivers,
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the damage is excessive not just in cost of life but in cost of property.
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If we ever forget how powerful the water is,
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all we've got to do is go to the ocean and try to sweep against the waves that are crashing in.
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And the thing about water is it's necessary for life.
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It's vital. It's essential. We need it.
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And it does so much good.
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And it can also be destructive.
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And James says that's also our speech.
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With our speech, think of what we've done just in the last 40 minutes.
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We have sung praise to God.
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We have prayed. We have approached the Father's throne.
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We have read Scripture. We have preached the Word.
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And with these words, we're trying to bless God.
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And the words that we'll say to one another by and large in the assemblies
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and after the services are up-building words.
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But with the same tongue, we curse men who are made in the image of God.
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James says these things ought not to be so.
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From what I understand, the average human being speaks between 18,000 and 25,000 words every day.
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With 8 billion people on the planet,
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that approaches 150 trillion words that are spoken across the planet on a given day.
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And God hears every one of them.
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But I take that down to me. God hears every one of my words.
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Do you remember how we started?
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James 3, verse 2,
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And many things we all offend.
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Remember James 3, verse 8?
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The tongue no man can tame.
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I hope that no one thinks that the one who's delivering this lesson
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is speaking as one who has conquered it because James says we never fully will.
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There are so many potential spiritual landmines and we're going to step on them.
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But as we do what James 3, 13 through 18 says,
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and nobody wants us to have the right kind of speech to tame the tongue more than God does.
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And so God says you want to grow, you want to improve, you want to be better
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in the speech department as a child of God, a better ambassador through that
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now than you were then, and then as you are now,
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then you've got to be meek. Be humble.
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Have a Christ-like heart that's open.
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Open to criticism, open to understanding the failures of others and responding appropriately.
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Watching your motives.
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Why are you thinking what you're thinking? Why are you saying what you're saying?
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Why are you doing what you're doing?
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And reflect heaven's wisdom.
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Because God gives us these seven qualities that we can bring into our lives.
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And the more we incorporate them into our behavior, the more they will show up in our speech.
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I say this because I have no idea how many times we're going to sin with our tongue this week.
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I'd like to think it's zero for all of us.
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Hopefully we'll get out of the parking lot before we do that.
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But it's going to be a part of our lives.
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God wants us to win.
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He wants us to overcome that struggle.
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Because it can come to the point that it is a spiritual battle that we're losing.
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And we need his help.
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But you know God gives us resources. In the book of James, in James chapter 5,
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we have one another to appeal to one another, to confess our faults one to another,
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and pray one for another that we may be healed.
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Maybe you need that from your brothers and sisters in Christ tonight.
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James chapter 5 and verse 16.
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The need to be restored. James chapter 5 verse 19 and 20.
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The invitation Psalm that Cason is going to lead us in is an opportunity
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to respond in a way publicly if we need to.
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We're affording that opportunity to you.
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Or if you've not yet obeyed the gospel and you need to put on Christ in baptism
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to have your sins washed away.
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And you want to do that now, we'll give you that opportunity.
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If you want to do that at any time, we'd love to sit down maybe to study with you
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or to help you to obey the gospel.
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If you need to respond to heaven's invitation,
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we'd encourage you to come right now as we stand and sing.